Original subtitles

So this is what they call the haunts of the very rich, huh?

The word's haunted.

They have all the ghosts of pool cleaning

property tax, upkeep.

Never looked at it that way.

Guess we should really count our blessings, huh?

Eh, who needs the hassles?

All we have to worry about is rent

car payments, car insurance--

Credit cards, food, expensive restaurants

to impress our dates.

You know, I never realized how much I have in common

with the idle rich.

Ha ha!

What's the problem, Barney?

I wish I knew, sir.

Well, Barney, you can get out and raise hell with them

or shall I do it?

But, sir, uh..

- Well, go after him! - But, sir!

I said go, man!

That crazy hoodlum will wish

he was dead before I'm through with him.

Yes, sir.

Mmm, makes you wonder what these people

do for a living, doesn't it?

I'll tell you one thing

very few of them are cops.

How about some coffee and doughnuts?

Around here? It would cost a fortune.

Negative. I know a place.

LA 15, 7 Mary 3 and 4 in pursuit of black limousine

heading west on 6th off of Plymouth.

'10-4, 7 Mary 3 and 4.'

Police are catching up, sir.

I think we should stop.

You'll do nothing of the sort. Keep after him!

It's no use, Barney. Give it up.

I'm sorry, Mr. Forbinger, but I'm no race driver.

That's alright, Barney.

Hey, pull it over! Pull it over!

Now remember, Barney, not a word about what happened!

'I'll do all the talking.'

Morning, sir.

May I see your driver's license and registration, please?

I want to apologize, officers. It was all my fault.

You see, I'm late for a very important business meeting.

Yeah?

What happened to your windows?

- Well, sir, it was a-- - 'It was an accident.'

At home.

Where is home, The OK Corral?

Some long, overhanging branches.

I was in a hurry.

Look, uh, the car is registered

to Trans Allied Corporation.

For my personal use.

I'm semiretired.

The corporation's chairman emeritus.

My name's Arthur Forbinger.

Well, now you took your time stopping. How come?

He wanted to stop, but I wouldn't let him.

I'm late for a very important business meeting!

Are you aware we could cite your chauffeur

for attempting to evade arrest?

Oh, I assure you there was no such intent.

I assure you.

Okay, Mr. Forbinger, we're going to believe your story this time

about evading arrest, but don't let it happen again, alright?

Oh, uh, by the way

I wouldn't drive any farther

until you get that glass off the seat.

- Oh, we will. We will. - I will! I will.

Thank you, officers. Thank you, both of you.

I wonder what really happened there.

I don't know, old buddy. I just write 'em.

LA 15, 7 Mary 3 and 4.

Pursuit is code 4. We'll be 10-8.

'10-4, 7 Mary 3 and 4.'

'11-98 with 7 Charles, Motor Avenue at Montemar.'

- 10-4. - I wonder what Sindy wants.

'

Oh, hi, gramps. I'm out by the pool. Why?

Chris, please listen to me

and for once in your life

don't ask questions.

I want you to go in the house immediately.

Lock the doors and stay there.

This is important.

- No.

Now get ready for a question. What's going on?

Chris, I haven't time to explain, dear.

Now j-just don't ask questions. Trust me.

Is that why you sent the flowers?

Because you were gonna be mean?

Flowers

The man just delivered them.

There was no card, so I assumed

that they were from my secret admirer.

Chris, what are you talking about?

As if you didn't know.

The candy, the flowers.

For the past week, I've been inundated.

Chris, when I get home, you can tell me all about it.

As for now, I want you to promise me

you'll get in the house and stay there.

Okay, gramps.

If that's the way you want it.

Thank you. I'll be home as soon as possible.

Bye.

Barney, forget the office.

Drop by plant security.

I'm going to pick up Paul Everett.

Yes, sir.

We found this glass, it's from the side windows of a black limo

like the pursuit you guys called in.

All this, and those two old guys kept quiet about it.

- Hey, Steve!

Would you mind telling the guys what you told me?

Yeah, I saved up all summer to buy that car

'and I don't have any insurance'

and my old man's gonna kill me.

No, no, Steve. I mean about the motorcycle.

Tell 'em what you saw.

Oh, that, yeah, there was a guy on a bike

and he smashed out the windows on the limo

and then he bugged out, and the limo went after him

and I'm going to be grounded for a year.

Hey, a motorcycle went through at Plymouth

just ahead of the limo.

Was the limousine parked here?

Yeah, that was the three cars that forced him to stop.

And then they split when the guy on the motorcycle showed up.

Well, I'd say Mr. Forbinger has some explaining to do.

I won't say I told you so, sir

but, uh, you've been disregarding

my security recommendations for years.

And if it weren't for Chris, I'd still be disregarding them.

I want you to know that my granddaughter means more to me

than anything else in this world.

- I understand, sir. - Good.

Because from now on, I'm holding you personally responsible

for anything that might happen to her.

My recommendation, sir, is that we go with a private firm.

I know a very good one, Ultimate Security Associates.

I'd be happy to work with them.

Anything you say, Paul, but arrange it fast.

You mean this happened before?

Yeah. Read 'em.

These are reports from

the San Francisco Bakersfield area.

Same MO.

Three car running roadblock

window smashing biker

and victims who refuse to file complaints.

What are we dealing with?

I mean, kidnapping threats?

Extortion

It's hard telling, but if some such racket

is moving into the LA area

we want a handle on it.

According to our witness, there was

no time for threats or demands.

So why wouldn't the old guy tell us what went down?

Well, that old guy happens to be

one of the most important men in the state.

Arthur Forbinger is not only top dog at Trans Allied

he's also on the governor's industrial relations board.

All the more reason to wonder why he didn't level with us.

Well, I have a suggestion. Why don't you ask him?

But go about it diplomatically, huh?

I'm afraid you don't have much choice, Mr. Forbinger.

Either talk to us, or we talk to the district attorney

and file a complaint against your chauffeur for hit-and-run.

Very well. The meeting place is fine.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Who was that?

Remember, no questions.

Okay, gramps, let's have it.

You're running scared.

'Now, that may be okay for some people'

but not for my grandfather.

You're quite right, dear.

I haven't felt so weak in the knees

since that morning when I first saw you

in your mother's arms.

Here. Look at these.

'Somebody had been watching your every move'

and today, whoever it is

tried to tell me something.

Where did you get these?

They came very special delivery

but that's not important.

What is important is the implied message.

You are in danger!

Danger

Well, the first person that comes to mind

would be your secret admirer

'and I'll pay a pretty penny to find out who he is.'

These pictures make me feel so defenseless.

You're not going to feel defenseless any longer.

I'll see to that. Now remember, you must not leave this house.

Promise?

I have a feeling I should've vacationed at home this summer.

Hello?

Yes, this is he.

Good. Do whatever you think is necessary.

Now remember, I'm placing my safety

and the safety of my granddaughter

'in your hands, Mr. Justin.'

A decision I promise you won't regret, Mr. Forbinger.

Think the old dude will show up?

Rich people are just like poor people.

Unless they call us, they hate to see a cop

on their front doorstep.

Gentlemen, sorry I'm late.

You're here. That's the important thing.

Good. Just in time for lunch. How about a burrito?

No, thanks.

What's a burrito?

You lead a sheltered life, don't you?

Uh, shall we get on with it?

I abhor wasting time.

Okay, good. Which crime do you want to talk about first?

Concealment of a felony or hit

We know what happened this morning. We'd like to know why.

- Maybe you could enlighten us. - Glad to.

I staged that little incident this morning

to test my security people.

As for the owners of the damaged cars

I'm prepared to make amends.

I'll replace all the damaged cars

with brand new ones.

Now, is there anything else?

Sure.

I'll tell you flat-out, mister, I think you're lying.

If this deal was staged by you and your security people

you're in the wrong business.

You ought to be making movies.

How would you gentlemen like to shed your uniforms

and work for me?

I'll double your salary.

Which means you're in trouble.

No, no. Listen to me carefully.

I, think it over. I-I'm serious.

We are, too, but we think this way

I mean, you are a victim.

We're guessing extortion, kidnap attempt

or an act of terrorism.

- I repeat, it was a test.

Baloney. No offense intended.

There's another possibility.

I mean, the kidnap-prevention bodyguard industry is booming.

I mean, maybe they're trying to use, uh, scare tactics

to make you buy protection.

Has that occurred to you?

Will you ask the owners of the damaged cars

to call me at my office?

Yeah, I'll do that.

Um, sir..

...are you really going to give those people new cars?

Absolutely.

Would you be interested in bashing into my old clunker?

Man, there goes one scared tycoon.

Yeah. And you thought being rich was fun.

You know what?

I'll take my chances.

Well, if it's not my diplomatic corps. Back so soon?

Yeah, with a bad case of heartburn, period.

Look, Forbinger is spooked, alright

but he's not looking for any help.

Well, that's too bad

because he's going to get help whether he wants it or not.

Oh-oh.

I just got a bleep on my radar screen.

- Yeah, me, too. A big one.

Perceptive as always.

Then you guys won't be surprised when I tell you to

put your motorcycles in the barn first thing in the morning.

- Make that two what's.

I've just been on the horn to Sacramento.

They want whatever's happening here nipped in the bud.

And the commissioner is so impressed

with the way you guys are handling the governor's friend

Mr. Forbinger

that they're assigning you

to Protective Services detail.

How can the commissioner be impressed

when he doesn't even know how we've handled it?

Let's just say that I'm impressed.

- Yeah.

Protective Services.

Meaning glorified baby-sitters.

True.

And since you understand that fact, Frank

'I'm assigning you to be the bodyguard'

'for the old man's granddaughter.'

And in all probability, Jon

you'll be Mr. Forbinger's chauffeur.

'Your cover's being arranged.'

Now...any questions?

Yeah. How do I get out of this chicken outfit?

Does Forbinger know about this?

By the time you guys have finished

your refresher driving courses

the commissioner will have called the governor

'and the governor will have called Mr. Forbinger.'

See how simple it is?

It goes without saying that the remainder

of the property will have to be fenced

and we'll have to install bars--

Bars?

They'll have to be installed on all the windows in the house.

Everything, of course, will be tied into

an electronic alarm system.

Hiding behind bars in my own home.

So it's come to this, has it?

You're a wealthy man, sir, and that makes you

a prime target for everything imaginable.

Incidentally, articles in society columns

are engraved invitations to any would-be kidnappers

or terrorists, so I would suggest

that in the future, you and your granddaughter

maintain a much lower social profile.

Oh, Chris will just love that.

Well, you've already been made aware of how vulnerable you are.

I'd advise you to take every precaution.

I gather that the work you describe

will be done by contractees of your own choosing?

Associates I trust completely.

People I've dealt with for years.

Now, I'd like to discuss the Dobermans.

Please, no.

You come very highly recommended, Mr. Justin.

Everything you say makes good sense.

'I'm prepared to do business with you.'

Good. I'll have a guard posted immediately.

And your fence can be under construction within 24 hours.

As for the house--

Hold on. Hold on. You may post your guard.

But before any construction begins

I want your proposal in writing.

- Fair enough.

Good day, sir.

What burns me up is we turned down twice our salary

to do the same job at the money we've been making.

Yeah, well, that's the breaks.

Another thing, how come you get to play chauffeur

and I have to babysit?

You heard the sarge.

You're understanding, that's why.

Mayday. Let him go. Take off!

LA 15, 7 Adam.

'We have an 11-80 rollover and a truck fire'

'on Sierra highway near Jefferson.'

'Roll an ambulance and a fire truck.'

'10-4, 7 Adam.'

Hey, my pills. Help me. Pills.

There's an ambulance on the way.

Hey, from the looks of it, there was three sedans.

They were trying to set up a roadblock and stop this guy.

Yeah. Sounds familiar.

Okay. Under the tongue now. Come on.

Just hang on. Give it a chance to work.

Was there a motorcycle involved?

Yeah. Come to think of it, I did see a motorcycle.

I think he's gonna be okay.

That's the second one.

Third one might not be so lucky.

Mr. Poncherello, Argentine consulate.

We're expected.

Identification, sir?

Of course.

Sorry to have troubled you.

No trouble at all.

I know now what I always suspected

I was born to be rich.

Don't give up.

Baby-sitters for the rich

have been known to inherit fortunes.

That's right. Rub it in.

Pride in service. That's what I like to see.

Now that's rubbing it in.

Ah! Ponche-Poncherello, I believe, isn't it?

Yes, sir. Good to see you.

I had a burrito for lunch. Darn near killed me.

Happens to me all the time, sir.

Sir, just in case, we'd like it on the record

this wasn't our idea.

Yes. I know whose idea it was.

As I told the governor, I'm an elderly man

and I am not the brightest man in the world

but I'm entirely capable of handling my own affairs.

And the governor said?

He told me to shut my mouth or he'd raise my taxes.

Chris, meet officers Baker and Poncherello

make-believe chauffeur and diplomat, respectively.

Gentlemen, this is my granddaughter.

Hi. We've been expecting you.

My pleasure.

You're a bigger girl than I was led to believe.

Is that a compliment?

As we say in the diplomatic service

you bet your briefcase.

According to the governor, you two are the best.

Shall we go inside?

Yes, I think we should.

I'll get your bags.

Oh, you do that, please.

I saw a pool table in there.

Instead of this, how about a game of rotation?

How about straight pool, 50 points

you break and spot me ten?

Oh, alright. Chess it is.

Armed guards? Bars on the window

'I mean, why don't you and Chris just go to jail'

'and have it done with?'

You hear that, grandfather?

Don't be an I-told-you-so.

Going to jail would be a darn sight cheaper

'and that's for sure.'

Mr. Forbinger, why don't you do us all a favor

and before you decide on Darrell Justin

let us check him out?

Justin was recommended by a person I trust implicitly

and that's good enough for me.

If you insist on making somebody rich

may I suggest another candidate?

Uh, it's your move. Play.

Uh, in one respect, the security business

is a lot like the one you're in.

I mean, we have rip-off artists, too.

In exchange for a finder's fee

they turn on someone like you

a wealthy man with loved ones whose safety you care about.

Are you implying that somebody in my own company

is in cahoots with Darrell Justin?

Think about it, I mean, who else could have

taken those photographs?

'What's more, I'd bet a burrito'

that your secret admirer is Darrell Justin.

Sorry. No bet.

I'm going to ask you gentlemen point-blank

can you guarantee the safety of my granddaughter?

Because if you can't

I'll engage an army if necessary.

I'm on a vacation, grandfather.

I refuse to be made a prisoner.

You'll have to hogtie me to keep me indoors.

If you think I won't, try me.

This man is an impostor.

My grandfather doesn't talk that way.

I guess that means, you've, uh, made up your mind

about Darrell Justin.

You can bet your briefcase.

You sure took long enough.

When it comes to bracing a consul general

I try to be discreet.

What did you find out?

They're legit.

Poncherello is an attache, Baker is the chauffeur.

The diplomat is Forbinger's houseguest.

What about my proposal?

Has Forbinger mentioned it to you?

Not a word. I told you he's tough.

He may require another demonstration.

If I have to foot the bill for another demonstration

I warn you, it'll be a good one.

You promised not to hurt that old man, remember?

Who's talking about the old man?

- Gramps is gonna be furious. - Good.

Maybe he'll get mad enough and tell Justin to buzz off.

Let's hope he doesn't get mad enough to call the governor.

That's a chance we got to take.

It's Paul Everett. I'm sure of it.

The guy who recommended Justin?

Gramps told him I was his responsibility.

No wonder he's worried.

Good old Grossie, on the ball.

You know, we could outrun that company car.

It's a temptation, lady, but that's not the idea.

Good morning.

May I see your driver's license and registration, please?

What did I do?

You made an unsafe lane change back there.

Chris was not supposed to leave this house.

Those were my orders!

You knew that, and your partner knew that.

Yes, sir, I know, but you can't smoke

a gopher out of a hole unless you build a fire.

Now, with your granddaughter's cooperation this morning

we struck a match.

I mean, let the fire burn.

What the devil are you talking about?

A plan.

I mean, you can set the plan in motion right now

by calling Darrell Justin and tell him

you've changed your mind about the need for protection.

- That's right.

Based on common sense, opposed to paranoia.

Young man, I'd like to offer you a bit of advice.

Mind if we listen?

Where have you two been? I'd like an expla..

Wait a minute. Who are you?

Where's my granddaughter? What have you done with her?

Don't worry. She's at my apartment.

Mr. Forbinger, this is Officer Sindy Cahill.

She volunteered to work with us

until we get this matter cleared up.

This infuriates me.

You people act as though I'm not even involved!

Now, somebody better say something, and fast!

Look, two days ago, a man was nearly killed

by sales tactics like those used

to convince you that Chris was in danger.

Now, we have reason to believe

that that salesman was Darrell Justin.

He's licensed to operate in San Francisco and Bakersfield.

What's been happening to you

has been happening in both of those places.

We believe it's more than just a coincidence.

Alright, alright, if it is Justin

can you guarantee to put him behind bars?

No, sir, but we can try with your cooperation.

Mr. Forbinger, the way it is, your only choice

'is between a rock and a hard place.'

So why don't you do it our way?

Look, there's another alternative.

I mean, you can pay extortion, or you can give in

and buckle under and become a prisoner in your own home.

It could cost you more than just money.

It could cost you your granddaughter's respect.

That seems a high price to pay.

It's up to you. What will it be?

I resent being coerced for this or any reason!

Alright. Then prove it.

Now hear this. Stick 'em up.

Don't anybody move.

Pick up the phone, Mr. Forbinger

and call the police.

Barney, you idiot. These persons are the police.

They are?

But, sir, I just heard them say that--

What you heard was me making a fool of myself.

Good Lord, where did you get that gun?

Oh, it's my old navy weapon, sir.

I...I dug it out of my stuff

because of everything that's been happening.

How old is the ammunition?

It's from 1932.

Practically brand new.

Barney, you almost gave me a heart attack.

- I'm sorry, sir. - Don't be, old friend.

At least you've showed me that I don't like

to be frightened and I'm grateful.

Young man, what is your plan?

Simple, I want you to resume your normal, everyday routine

and on behalf of your granddaughter

Sindy will do likewise.

Young lady, it looks as though you and I

are going to become smoke in a gopher hole.

Forbinger just called. The deal's off.

What?

If the girl's secret admirer intimidated the old man

it's certainly not apparent, is it?

Chris had strict orders not to leave that house.

Forbinger told me that himself.

Forget it.

Who's driving the limo today, you or the chauffeur?

I am. The old man's got a ten o'clock appointment.

Appointment where?

At the Argentine consulate. Why?

You've got 24 hours.

If the old man hasn't reconsidered by then

we go to work on the girl.

You got that straight?

I'll be in touch.

I'm beginning to think our newfound friend

has outlived his usefulness.

Now wait a minute. I didn't contract out to kill anyone.

I'll triple your fee.

All it'll take is one extra swing with that hammer of yours.

What are we standing around here for?

I'm sorry, sir, I can't let you leave without an armed escort.

'Mr. Justin's orders.'

You're fired as of right now.

- Get off my property!

You heard the man. He said you're fired.

We should be there in about 30 minutes.

Right now everything's cool.

Good. Your backup's in position travelling parallel.

Uh, maybe you'd better keep this line open.

10-4.

Look who's coming.

It's hard to believe that Paul Everett would sell me out.

We're still not certain, remember?

I'm supposed to drive Forbinger to work. What's going on?

I'll tell you what's going on, he fired me.

Have you called Justin?

I got him on the mobile phone.

- Yeah.

Anything wrong with that?

If you're smart, you'll do what I'm gonna do, leave town.

The next time we go undercover

remind me not to play chess with the client.

Chris told me she never met a more charming loser, Ponch.

She offered to play pool with you.

That's your game.

Is she any good?

I'll never tell.

Looks like we have company.

Better tell our backup units to stand by.

Easy does it. We've still got a ways to go.

What are they waiting for?

Probably for some deserted area.

Hey, sarge, this is Poncherello. Can you hear me?

What's wrong? Why don't they answer?

All I get is static.

Okay. Make your moves, now.

Hello, operator. Operator, can you hear me?

No luck?

Sounds like a swarm of bees.

Okay. Sinch up your belts. We're on our own.

He's trying to get away.

Signal the motorcycle.

Ram him! Ram him!

Okay. Hang on.

Where did you learn how to drive?

Sorry to put you through all that

but there wasn't much else I could do.

Sorry

I haven't had so much fun in years!

Okay. You might wanna check that over.

It's hard to believe that Paul Everett

could have ever set me up like this

after all the years he's worked for me.

Well, there is this about him

his statement should guarantee

that that's the last we see of Mr. Justin and company.

Grandpa!

It's about time you showed up.

Oh, when Ponch told me what happened, I almost died.

It's over, and it won't happen again.

She looks pretty good in my clothes, don't you think?

Yeah, you don't look too bad in hers, either

don't you think?

Hey, Ponch.

Yeah?

Look, you wanna play racquetball tonight?

We have a court.

Sorry, pal... I'm babysitting.