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Ha! What is this? It's incredible.
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It's like, I mean, one must presume the car
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was on the way to eat at home, but, you know,
4
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because restaurants have a reputation of convenience and deliciousness,
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the driver was forced to veer away, putting other drivers at risk.
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But that just underscores how much better restaurants are than home.
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That's what makes it funny.
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That's why we're all laughing.
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Have you never seen a meme?
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A meme? What the devil is that?
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People take an image and put some stupid little text on it
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and think they're funny.
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Memes are basically Mad Libs for personality.
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Take it easy. They're free.
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No, they take zero thought or effort, like movies for Kevin Costner.
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Okay, so your character's in a cowboy hat looking way off in the distance.
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What if it's just kind of off in the distance?
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Uh, sure. And you're having a really hard time.
19
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What if it's just kind of a hard time?
20
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That should work. Oh, and the leading lady is young,
21
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but I'm guessing you prefer kind of young?
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Nah, I won't push back on that one.
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Ah, never gonna have a better opportunity.
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Excuse me, sir. Okay, you're out on the water.
25
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Settle a bet between me and Cleveland.
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Is the Little Mermaid black?
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I don't know about that, but I'm a Navy SEAL,
28
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so I'm legally required to inform you that I killed bin Laden.
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If that's true, what's his first name?
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Osama.
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This guy's the real deal.
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Do you think whales ate him by now?
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Actually, based on where we dumped him
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and the way the ocean historically moves, he could be near Quahog.
35
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Wait a minute. Guys,
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if we got a boat and found bin Laden,
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we could charge people five bucks
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- to kick him in the balls. - Or the butt.
39
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Yeah, sure. Balls or butt.
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- Who's in? - In.
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- In. - In.
42
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Thank you for your service.
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Oh, I'm not a sailor.
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I'm just a Brazilian guy in my everyday clothes.
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Oh. Then thank you for your outside dancing.
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It's nothing. I'll see you outside.
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Samba, samba, samba.
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Hey, Brian, are vegans known for like always talking about being vegans?
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Uh, yeah, I guess.
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Click on that.
51
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This makes zero sense.
52
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No, because vegans are always, like, telling you they're vegan, right?
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Okay.
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And see, it says "nobody" because, like, nobody asked, right?
55
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But this guy, our protagonist, he doesn't care.
56
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No, no, he doesn't care about the nobody.
57
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He's just gonna jump on in there and give you his two bits.
58
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But like nobody asked, right?
59
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That's why it says "nobody" up top.
60
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Isn't that hilarious?
61
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Yeah, I'm trying to work.
62
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Yeah, I should get back to work, too.
63
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Forwarding memes isn't work.
64
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Well, the Internet begs to differ.
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I'm getting a lot of likes on my posts.
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They're not your posts.
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You're not doing anything original.
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Says the guy writing a script called Barbie 3.
69
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Yeah, because somebody's probably already doing Barbie 2.
70
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Yeah, I think we're doing the same level of original.
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Look at this one.
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It... It's based on the game,
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"Rock, paper, scissors."
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That's why it's funny. But this baby, like, I'm already laughing.
75
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Can you even?
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- So this was your idea? - No.
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- But you found the pictures? - No.
78
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Well, you must have come up with the text.
79
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No, but I knew the perfect time to hit send.
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That's what it's all about.
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You didn't do anything.
82
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No, no, Brian, it's like this.
83
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The meme is the plane and I'm the pilot, right?
84
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So sometimes the plane goes on autopilot.
85
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But I'm still at the controls drinking Diet Cokes.
86
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So you're the autopilot of comedy?
87
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I get you from not laughing Rhode Island to laughing Rhode Island.
88
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It takes one hour drive diagonally across the entire state.
89
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Oh, I should have said Texas.
90
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You know, Lois said it's stupid to look for bin Laden's corpse
91
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because a drunk guy at a bar said to.
92
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- But look at us! - I'm getting kind of hungry.
93
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What'd you bring for eats, Peter?
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Wheat Thins and Costco muffins.
95
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That's all guys need.
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- Peter, that is a home run. - Out of the park.
97
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I was smiling as soon as you said it.
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Lois looked sad when she saw the food.
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No, it's good food. You did really good.
100
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- Wives just want us to do what they want. - Say less, King.
101
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You know, it's so easy and fun with you guys out here.
102
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Sometimes I wish the world was just guys.
103
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Oh, my God! We've been struck by lightning!
104
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I think I possibly took the brunt of it.
105
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Oh, my God! The boat!
106
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Yeah, we might be out here for a while,
107
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so someone needs to carry the conversation.
108
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Did you guys know that Triscuit is short for electric biscuit?
109
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Also, there are no raccoons in Alaska.
110
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Let's just all drown quietly to ourselves.
111
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I'll start.
112
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Joe was a true friend.
113
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I'm gonna miss him so much.
114
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And we should probably start sorting out who's going after Bonnie.
115
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Nice try, wisenheimers.
116
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Joe! How'd you make it in?
117
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My chair floats. How about you guys?
118
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We clung to old graduation balloons
119
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and one turtle who was caught in the ribbon.
120
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A little help with the ribbon?
121
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We're not supposed to touch you, because then your mom won't take you back.
122
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My mom died before America was formed.
123
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Oh, yeah. You guys live a long time, huh?
124
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Yeah, I was in the turtle brigade in the Civil War.
125
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- Which side? - Don't ask which side.
126
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Does anybody's phone work?
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- Nah. - Nope.
128
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Negative.
129
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We need to find shelter for the night.
130
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Oh, my God! A house!
131
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Whoa!
132
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It looks like a villain's lair.
133
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Yeah, it's like RoboCop's beach house from the '80s future.
134
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Word of caution. If you run around in socks in this place,
135
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you are definitely slipping, my friends.
136
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I'm zonked. I'm gonna crash.
137
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Yeah, me too. I call the master bedroom.
138
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It's called a primary bedroom now.
139
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Oh, I'm so sorry. I'll be in the bedroom primary-bating.
140
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Good evening. I'm Tom Tucker. Coming up, one side of a local news station,
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falling into a sinkhole.
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But first, wreckage from a Quahog boat was just spotted a few miles off the coast
143
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of famous gay party spot, Fire Island.
144
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I wonder if that's Peter's boat!
145
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Damn! Right to voicemail.
146
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Hey, this is Pete. Single and ready to mingle.
147
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There we go. That ought to break someone's ankle this summer.
148
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Dogs and holes. Name a more iconic duo. I'll wait.
149
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- What? - No, I'm just saying.
150
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This is a mood.
151
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How is this a mood? Elaborate.
152
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No, I'm just saying I was today years old
153
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when I learned dogs are vindictive.
154
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Why are you talking like that?
155
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I'm in my meme phase, Brian.
156
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When I can't see them, I talk like them.
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My man talks like a Internet now.
158
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Well, stop it. It's stupid.
159
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Cranky writer upset at friends' fun.
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Didn't have that on my 2026 bingo card.
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Bingo card is so good!
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What-- What-- What bingo card? Show me the card.
163
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Well, it's more about what's not on the bingo card, so...
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Yeah, it's what's not on there, Brian.
165
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Also, don't bingo cards just have numbers and not entire phrases?
166
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Yeah, you kind of... you kind of have to be funny to get it.
167
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All right, I'm going in. You're making no sense.
168
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I think what you mean to say is "The math ain't mathing.
169
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Period. Full stop."
170
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Yeah, you don't have to say full stop.
171
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That's... that's what a period is.
172
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Yo, we talking about periods?
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Let me let you in on a little toothbrushing secret. Crest.
174
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How is Crest a secret?
175
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Shh.
176
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This was all there was in the closet.
177
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Yeah, same here. Do we look chic?
178
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What's chic?
179
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O-M-G! Look at all us chic ass boys.
180
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I'll check on our phones.
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Still nothing. I can't believe this.
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Wait. Do you hear that?
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These must be the island natives.
184
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They clearly have a proud culture of music, dance and flavored vodka.
185
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Wow. Everybody's just doing what they like.
186
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Those hefty bearded guys are watching the Mets game.
187
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And those shiny little jacked guys are playing underwear volleyball.
188
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Yeah. Everybody else is drinking, dancing and horsing off in the pool.
189
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Is it possible this is Kokomo?
190
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It's checking too many boxes.
191
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Wait, don't you see?
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On the boat, I wished for a world that was just guys.
193
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And then we got struck by lightning.
194
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I manifested this place into existence.
195
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Come on. We gotta fit in with the locals.
196
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Hi, I'm Peter.
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Our boat crashed here, and we slept in a future house
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with black toilets and white couches.
199
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Julian. We all get to the island in our own way.
200
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But you're here and you belong.
201
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Are there any women on the island?
202
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Just one. Her name is Molly, and she sits in your mouth.
203
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Say "Hello, Molly."
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Hello, Molly.
205
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My God, it feels like Christmas morning.
206
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On Fire Island, every day is Christmas.
207
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And Pete Buttigieg.
208
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Hey, Stewie. Wh-- What is all this?
209
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My memes have been getting so much attention that I got a book deal.
210
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What? You just forward other people's pictures and words.
211
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Yes. The biggest reward for winning new media is getting to do old media.
212
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Drake meme here.
213
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Boston cop slide meme here.
214
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Willy Wonka here. Kermit sipping tea here.
215
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This is ridiculous! You're not an author.
216
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Yeah, that's not what HarperCollins thinks.
217
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Either Harper or Collins just sent a clip from my audio book.
218
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We used Morgan. Don't you just love Morgan?
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Chapter two.
220
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We see Will Ferrell with a mustache.
221
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The caption reads, "Me shopping with my wife."
222
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It looks to me like he'd rather be anywhere else.
223
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What a day. Riding bikes in town,
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being so loud at restaurants that people leave,
225
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sending food back before we even saw it.
226
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Thanks for taking us in.
227
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Of course! We're a community here.
228
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Everyone pulls weight and helps in their own way.
229
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A lot of us don't feel supported in our regular lives.
230
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That's exactly how I feel.
231
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My phone works!
232
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Peter! You're alive!
233
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Not only alive, I'm thriving on a magic island I wished for.
234
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And it's just guys who are nice.
235
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I want you to meet Timothy, Michael and Robert.
236
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Hi, Tim, Mike and Rob.
237
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No. For some reason, we only use full names here.
238
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It's like the only thing we get mad about.
239
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You're on Fire Island, Peter.
240
00:12:05,970 --> 00:12:09,470
It's just a place for Wall Street guys and regional weathermen to be gay.
241
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Lois, you're embarrassing me.
242
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None of these guys' wives are calling them.
243
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Peter, enough. You need to come home.
244
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No, it's too fun here.
245
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When dessert comes out, we say we'll only have a bite,
246
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but we have more than a bite.
247
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Then we call Chef Mario a devil.
248
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You know what happens when you tell our secrets, Peter.
249
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Don't do it! Don't do it, Timothy!
250
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I'm gonna tickle you!
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I'm starting to think Chef Mario's not the devil.
252
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You are, Timothy!
253
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:38,540
Peter's having a great time.
254
00:12:38,630 --> 00:12:41,510
He's definitely not being tickled too much.
255
00:12:41,590 --> 00:12:44,010
I'm alive, I'm fine, and I'm staying.
256
00:12:44,090 --> 00:12:45,930
Gotta go, Lois. I'm driving. Bye!
257
00:12:47,220 --> 00:12:48,300
Dad's safe.
258
00:12:48,390 --> 00:12:50,060
He's on Fire Island.
259
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,190
We haven't paid for anything yet.
260
00:12:58,270 --> 00:12:59,440
Can we chip in for brunch?
261
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:03,490
Robert is tallying the weekend costs so you can settle up all at once.
262
00:13:03,570 --> 00:13:04,740
Oh, okay.
263
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,870
Five thousand each should do it.
264
00:13:07,950 --> 00:13:10,240
I-- I'm sorry. $5,000?
265
00:13:10,330 --> 00:13:11,580
I didn't even have a bed.
266
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:14,080
Yeah! Slobs sleep on couches.
267
00:13:15,540 --> 00:13:17,250
You guys owe 5,000, too?
268
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:20,130
No, I'm hot, so I don't have to pay.
269
00:13:20,210 --> 00:13:23,130
I thought this was a community where everyone takes care of each other.
270
00:13:23,210 --> 00:13:24,840
Yeah, uggos pay for hotties.
271
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,430
Why should hot people pay?
272
00:13:26,510 --> 00:13:27,510
That's gross.
273
00:13:27,590 --> 00:13:29,600
Do you not have $5,000?
274
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:31,310
- No! - Why?
275
00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:32,770
Because I have a wife.
276
00:13:32,850 --> 00:13:34,020
Ew!
277
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:36,980
Perhaps there's another way we can pay.
278
00:13:37,060 --> 00:13:40,110
Well, my house does need a new roof.
279
00:13:40,190 --> 00:13:42,110
Perhaps something else?
280
00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:46,530
Okay, I cut our debt in half, but we got to get the hell off this island.
281
00:13:53,370 --> 00:13:55,500
I hope you have an escape plan, Peter.
282
00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:57,790
Don't worry. We just got to think outside the box.
283
00:13:57,870 --> 00:14:00,420
That's how those guys came up with the log flume ride.
284
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:04,460
All right, Madsen, I need a new idea for a ride or you're fired.
285
00:14:04,550 --> 00:14:08,630
Got it. Have you ever taken a bath and wished you were going slowly uphill?
286
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,010
I think everyone has.
287
00:14:10,090 --> 00:14:12,260
And you know how people love to get soaking wet
288
00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:14,720
and then not be able to go home for five hours?
289
00:14:14,810 --> 00:14:16,270
- Yeah. - And don't you think
290
00:14:16,350 --> 00:14:19,440
the second word in a ride should be a word you've never heard before
291
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:20,860
in any other context?
292
00:14:20,940 --> 00:14:22,610
Maybe. What's the word?
293
00:14:22,690 --> 00:14:23,860
Flume.
294
00:14:23,940 --> 00:14:25,860
Madsen, we're gonna be rich.
295
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:31,280
Thank you all for coming.
296
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,910
Sorry you had to watch me whisper-fight my publicist
297
00:14:33,990 --> 00:14:35,290
for getting the wrong tea.
298
00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:37,040
Too late, Tiffany!
299
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,500
All right, chapter one.
300
00:14:38,580 --> 00:14:40,580
So, women take a long time to get ready.
301
00:14:40,670 --> 00:14:42,710
But this guy takes it way further.
302
00:14:42,790 --> 00:14:44,710
This skeleton, who starts presumably
303
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,720
as a regular human guy, thinks his wife is almost ready.
304
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:51,470
Cut to him being a skeleton and all of us laughing.
305
00:14:51,550 --> 00:14:53,850
I love how he called the guy a human guy.
306
00:14:53,930 --> 00:14:55,890
Very quirky. Very funny.
307
00:14:58,350 --> 00:15:00,190
This isn't clever. And it's not comedy.
308
00:15:00,270 --> 00:15:02,560
Brian, this is comedy now.
309
00:15:02,650 --> 00:15:06,150
No, it's a shortcut for people who aren't actually funny to seem funny.
310
00:15:06,230 --> 00:15:09,400
Well, I like to think I'm capturing a relatable feeling and sharing it with--
311
00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:13,740
You forward reheated sound-bite leftovers to idiots doing the same thing!
312
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:14,830
You're all idiots!
313
00:15:14,910 --> 00:15:16,910
Congrats on your stolen comedy valor.
314
00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:20,210
Uh, sir? This is a Wendy's.
315
00:15:20,290 --> 00:15:23,250
That's from online.
316
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,340
And this guy's done adulting.
317
00:15:31,550 --> 00:15:33,640
So good! So good.
318
00:15:39,350 --> 00:15:42,520
Okay, so the plan is when they use the blender, we move.
319
00:15:54,660 --> 00:15:56,160
Put on these rollerblades.
320
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:57,700
The next blender, we're through the gate.
321
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:05,170
Those freeloaders are getting away!
322
00:16:18,220 --> 00:16:20,020
Beach gays, activate!
323
00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:32,530
My blades!
324
00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:41,290
Eh.
325
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,000
Ow.
326
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,500
Let's try to catch that ferry.
327
00:16:49,590 --> 00:16:51,800
Weren't you trying to get away from us?
328
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,380
Julian, I meant the boat.
329
00:16:54,470 --> 00:16:55,930
Sorry, I'm twisted.
330
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:59,640
YMCA occupation gays, activate!
331
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,320
Peter, the deer!
332
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,330
I already got bit by ticks.
333
00:17:26,370 --> 00:17:28,290
That's the last ferry of the day!
334
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:29,630
It's too far.
335
00:17:29,710 --> 00:17:33,210
Wait, Peter, do you still have that cocaine locket that Julian gave you?
336
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:36,470
Yeah, but I wanted to save it for a special night with my family.
337
00:17:36,550 --> 00:17:37,680
Peter!
338
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,400
Oh, my God! We made it!
339
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:56,900
Bye! Have a fun trip.
340
00:17:56,990 --> 00:17:58,110
Aren't you mad at us?
341
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,740
We're guys. We get over stuff fast.
342
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,120
Come back next summer for our PJ party.
343
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:04,620
We'll bring our families.
344
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:06,210
No, don't!
345
00:18:06,290 --> 00:18:07,290
Don't bring them!
346
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:11,590
Morning, Stewie.
347
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:16,590
What is this? What are you doing?
348
00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:21,100
Well, I can't get you to stop doing memes, so this exorcism will rid you of them.
349
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:25,640
I won't recycle images from The Office and add my own text to it.
350
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:26,890
I won't recycle--
351
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:29,190
Oh, Bri, you sweet summer child.
352
00:18:29,270 --> 00:18:30,400
This isn't going to work.
353
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,570
We have other ways.
354
00:18:33,230 --> 00:18:35,650
Chris? But I thought you were on my side.
355
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,950
Well, I'm Gen Z and loyal to no one.
356
00:18:38,030 --> 00:18:40,740
Bet you didn't have that on your bingo card.
357
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:44,040
- What is that? - You're getting a loboto-meme.
358
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,540
When I flip the switch, all memes will rush
359
00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:48,870
into your brain and explode out of you.
360
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,080
No, please!
361
00:18:54,170 --> 00:18:55,250
It's working!
362
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:57,970
First world problems.
363
00:18:58,050 --> 00:18:59,090
Cringe.
364
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,470
Weird flex, but okay.
365
00:19:09,310 --> 00:19:11,230
Stewie, can you talk as yourself?
366
00:19:11,940 --> 00:19:13,860
Am I... am I doing it?
367
00:19:13,940 --> 00:19:15,610
Oh, thank God! You're back.
368
00:19:15,690 --> 00:19:17,990
I wonder where all those memes went.
369
00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:24,950
And this is why we can't have nice things.
370
00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:28,410
Where do you come up with this stuff?
371
00:19:30,620 --> 00:19:32,630
Home again, home again, giggity-gig.
372
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:35,750
Peter, I'm so happy you're home.
373
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,760
Oh, Lois, I'm so sorry.
374
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:42,090
I guess I learned that both men and women are pretty bitchy when money is involved.
375
00:19:42,180 --> 00:19:43,800
Tha-- That's what you learned?
376
00:19:43,890 --> 00:19:47,260
And that I'd rather get yelled at by a woman than get yelled at by a guy.
377
00:19:47,350 --> 00:19:49,390
Oh, a thousand percent. It's safer.
378
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,810
I love you, Lois.
379
00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:54,360
Oh, Peter, I love you, too.
380
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:55,650
I'm glad you're home.
381
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:00,780
I thought you'd be more mad at me.
382
00:20:00,860 --> 00:20:04,240
Oh, I could be mad and have a dozen unopened jars
383
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:08,200
or forgive you, have you open the jars and start my soup.
384
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,830
Start with the big Rao's one.
385
00:20:09,910 --> 00:20:13,580
I will, Lois. Even though that one always hurts my hand.
386
00:20:13,670 --> 00:20:16,630
I'm just so happy to be back in a world with women.
387
00:20:16,710 --> 00:20:19,880
Good, because I had the craziest dream last night,
388
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,130
and I'm gonna tell you all about it.
389
00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:23,680
Okay. So follow me here.
390
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:24,930
It's complicated.
391
00:20:25,890 --> 00:20:28,140
Here's $5,000. I want back in.
392
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:38,070
Sorry, Stewie. I just need to make sure all that meme nonsense is done.
393
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:46,240
See, he's smirking because he's so proud of himself for ordering a pizza.
394
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:47,370
Funny, right?
395
00:20:47,450 --> 00:20:48,910
No, not... not funny or clever.
396
00:20:48,990 --> 00:20:50,750
Good to have you back, buddy.
397
00:20:52,370 --> 00:20:53,620
Said no one.
398
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,460
It's funny because it's just like ordering a pizza.
399
00:20:58,540 --> 00:21:00,500
That expression is certainly too big
400
00:21:00,590 --> 00:21:03,340
for just ordering food to a place you usually wouldn't.
30606
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