Original subtitles

This lovely young woman is Daisy Van Van Dorn.

She is beautiful, charming, bewitching, and disgustingly rich.

A few years ago, she was a reigning princess of the debutante's ball.

Now, she's society's bad girl, world -renowned homewrecker, and the darling

the scandal magazine all over the world.

At the moment, the center of the latest sexual escapade is Reginald Rockingham.

model husband and father, and disgustingly wealthy.

The Van Dorn family is understandably in a panic, especially Stacey's maiden

aunt, Agatha, who has parted with the hefty retainer to gauge me to keep

and her hot little pussy out of the National Enquirer.

And I'm Catherine Hillary Forbes, freelance publicist and an authority on

keeping the rich and famous out of the scandal seat.

Damn it.

What am I going to do to keep that hot -ass harebrained harlot occupied?

How many shows can we go to anyway?

And this is Howard Budd Clark, the love of my life.

He's the coach of the Long Island Unicorns, a pro football team owned by

late Griffith Van Dorn.

Stacy's grandpa, and left to Stacy as sole owner.

I just called Reggie's office and his stupid secretary connected me with his

wife. That cunt called me a hot -ass, hair -brained harlot and warned me to

away from her, man.

Call the limo. I'm going straight over to Reggie's office.

I've got to see him, if only just to give him a quick blowjob.

Hey, who's that?

This is Bud Clark.

He's your football coach.

And he's my boyfriend.

Just get that fucking limo here as thin as you can. I'm going to get dressed.

Bud, now this shit's really going to hit the fan.

I must stop or else we'll be front page of National Enquirer.

But how?

If a girl's got to sacrifice, she's got to sacrifice.

What's love and affection without the money and power behind it?

I mean, I need a lot of time to get out of this tight spot.

And darling, you've got to find me that time.

But how?

Coach, get in there.

Charm that stupid slut.

Pin her down and don't let her leave here.

I can't believe I just said that.

Kate had to step out for a while.

I can't believe Kate would do this to me, leaving without ordering my limo.

I'm so horny, I can't even sit without sticking to the chair.

Hey, Coach, are you busy?

I mean, could you spare me 15 or 20 minutes of your time?

Thank you.

hmm

Right at this moment, Stacey Van Dorn is fucking my boyfriend.

Poor bud.

At least he's buying me time to think this thing out.

What's the worst thing can happen?

Miss Hot Abs breaks out and destroys Mr. Model Husband and Father.

I'm out of my ass, and Miss Agatha will see to it that no other publicity firm

would touch me with a ten -foot pole.

The alternative?

I keep Miss Torrid Tits out of the scandal sheets for an extended period of

time. I'd write my own ticket, a penthouse, a beach house in the

chauffeured limos, pearls, diamonds, power.

I'd be the biggest heroine since Joan of Orleans.

But keeping juicy jeans from letting her gap gush for the world to see would

take a regiment of marines or a...

No. No.

Thank you.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

No. No.

Especially as you're charging your batteries.

Coach, how many players do you have on your team?

46. My God, that should keep her off the streets for months.

What are you talking about?

No questions yet.

I want you to get a hold of three or four of your best -looking prospects and

send them here right now.

They're all in practice and they're story over right now.

I don't care if they're in Atlanta, Georgia. Just send them here right now.

I was.

Something made me wake up and call Reggie. He's agreed to meet me alone.

Don't try to stop me.

I wouldn't think of it. Thank you.

Well, we're calling to meet Donna here.

Fiona, Fiona, what are we doing here?

Are you the players' uni representative?

No, I'm the tight end.

Actually, I brought you all here for a group photo of the unicorn's finest.

I thought

you were the tight end.

Look, bitch, I give my kids my way.

You get your kicks your way. All right, guys, let's go. Back to practice.

Come on.

Look,

this has been some day.

My boss fucked my feller, I'll probably lose my job, and I'll probably get

arrested as an accessory to murder, if I'm very lucky. So don't judge.

That is so good.

Mmm.

Mm -hmm.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Feels good.

Oh, it's really good.

Oh.

killed Reggie.

No.

Reggie met me.

He told me that I was very nice, but that he had no room in his life for me.

loves his wife and kids very much.

So we're through.

Stacy, do you know you own the Long Island Unicorns?

The Long Island Unicorns? A professional football team coached by Bud Clark, the

man you ravished?

He ravishes very well, you know.

But do you know you own the team?

46 quivering erect cocks, ready to go into spasms with the slightest tremor of

your breast or a glimpse of your thigh.

And I own them?

Yeah.

Body, soul, genital organs.

I've seen the contracts.

Every one of them hung like a stallion.

Yeah, yours to command.

How much? How often?

Maybe two cocks at a time? Maybe three?

Oh, dear.

Oh, I feel faint.

I think that I'm going to go lay down for a while.

She'll be okay.

Stacy's just drunk with power.

All those stiff, ruddy cocks that are back on call.

A few hours in a bed with a vibrator, and she'll recover.

What can I do for you?

I'm Bonnie Borden, and Coach Clark asked me to stop by to see Miss Van Dore, the

new owner.

I'm Stacy Van Dore.

I'm your tight end.

But you're a girl.

And very pretty.

And I'm good.

Very good.

I'll give you a chance to show me.

How good you are.

Nice.

Well, so just what can you do?

Anyways.

Quite a few things, actually.

Mm -hmm.

Beautiful.

Thank you.

to address.

Thank you.

Oh

Hmm.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

Oh.

oh

You are good very very good

And I catch passes too

I'm sorry.

I'm just horny all the time.

Oh, so am I.

I know.

You want to see Miss Van Dorn.

She's busy at the moment.

Come on in.

Perhaps I can do as well, if not better.

Now. I guess you're gonna miss practice.

I guess not.

I like what I see.

I'm glad.

Oh, you're all muscles.

Yeah.

oh

Oh, my God.

Thank you very much.

Oh.

It was my tight end a couple days ago.

Jim Morton, was he good?

Bobby Borden, he was magnificent.

Me too, but she's not here.

Mom, you look different in clothes. I mean, not in football gear.

I mean, shoulder pads and hip pads aren't exactly flattering.

You look nice in girl things.

You look girls are good too, Floyd.

I tell you what, no one's here.

What do you think we go in the bedroom and get real close?

That was good to me.

Come on.

Come on in, Floyd.

It's good to have you here.

It's good to be here.

Oh.

spring from the moon

Guess what?

What? San Diego just traded me on the unicorn's new wide receiver.

No way!

Yeah, I guess that means we're tuning to the right.

Right.

Wait, I got an idea.

What? Let's make it official.

That's what I had in mind, too.

I should have taken these off.

Oh, God.

I'm above it. I'm the baby.

Oh, yeah.

I mean,

if I could use to.

You know?

I dare.

I dare.

I dare.