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00:00:06,919 --> 00:00:09,052
- Previously on
- The Hard Times Of RJ Berger.
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00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:10,053
Can we talk?
3
00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:11,881
Actually, I'm kind of busy
right now.
4
00:00:11,924 --> 00:00:13,317
Why don't you go talk
to your new tutor?
5
00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:15,450
RJ, you cannot keep
your parents together.
6
00:00:15,493 --> 00:00:17,887
- I got the job.
- I'm your new English teacher.
7
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I think I learned something.
8
00:00:19,062 --> 00:00:20,281
You owe me.
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00:00:20,324 --> 00:00:21,543
And I fully intend
to cash in on it.
10
00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:22,761
We have to break up,
don't we?
11
00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:24,154
Yeah, I think we do.
12
00:00:24,198 --> 00:00:26,026
I'm having a visitor.
13
00:00:26,069 --> 00:00:27,766
What?
14
00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:28,463
Don't wait up for us, Berger.
15
00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:34,295
Morning.
16
00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:35,687
Morning, my little man.
17
00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:42,303
Morning, Berger.
18
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Oh, my God!
19
00:00:43,521 --> 00:00:44,696
What are you doing here?
20
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:48,309
RJ, is that any way
to treat a guest?
21
00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:50,224
Jeriba and I spent
a wonderful evening together.
22
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,095
Shared a bottle of wine.
23
00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:53,096
And one thing led
to your mother.
24
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,445
Jeriba!
25
00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:58,667
Well, if you need me,
I'll be hanging myself.
26
00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:00,495
Ba-ba-ba-ba-bup!
27
00:01:00,538 --> 00:01:02,192
You wait right there, mister.
28
00:01:02,236 --> 00:01:03,324
Remember what
the therapist said.
29
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:04,890
During the separation,
30
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:06,153
it's essential to keep
31
00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:07,719
the lines
of communication open.
32
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:09,069
Then why aren't you
communicating with dad?
33
00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:12,507
Because mommy hates daddy.
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00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:20,428
Berger, I know it's hard
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to see your mama
with a new man.
36
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,040
But I ain't here
to bone and bounce.
37
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,302
This here?
38
00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:26,651
This is bone to own.
39
00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:28,175
Like with you
and that Swanson girl.
40
00:01:28,218 --> 00:01:29,437
Yeah, actually, we broke up.
41
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:30,438
Really.
42
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Ain't that a bitch.
43
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:35,138
You got some new trim
lined up?
44
00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:36,922
Yeah, I'm, you know,
kinda into my tutor.
45
00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:38,315
- Really?
- Look at you.
46
00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:39,316
Tootin' the tutor.
47
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I'm a long way from tooting.
48
00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:42,798
Well, lookee here, son.
49
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Please don't call me that.
50
00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:45,714
You and me,
we in the same spot.
51
00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:47,846
And we both chasing
new girls now.
52
00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:49,544
That means we can help
each other
53
00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:51,285
lock it up.
54
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You feel me?
55
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Good talk.
56
00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:57,682
Now, if you'll excuse me,
57
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I'm gonna go
your mother.
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00:01:59,728 --> 00:02:01,208
Eh.
59
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:02,383
Here come
the love train, baby.
60
00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:03,819
My name is RJ Berger.
61
00:02:03,862 --> 00:02:06,169
And I'm the one who's...
62
00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:07,170
you know what.
63
00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:11,087
♪ Hey
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00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:19,051
Dude, just ask her out
already.
65
00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:20,879
I would,
but you know,
66
00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,490
she's older and cooler
67
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:24,187
and smarter than me.
68
00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:26,058
RJ, 94% of the world's
population
69
00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:27,930
is older, smarter,
and cooler than you.
70
00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:29,540
I wouldn't go limiting
your options.
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00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:31,934
- Okay, so let's...
- Let's say, hypothetically,
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00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:32,630
I ask her out, right?
73
00:02:32,674 --> 00:02:33,936
Mm-hmm.
74
00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:35,633
How do I impress her?
75
00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:36,939
She's 17.
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00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:38,593
I highly doubt that
call of duty
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00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:41,857
and a two-liter of Pepsi Max
are her idea of fun.
78
00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:43,380
Hey, freaks.
79
00:02:43,424 --> 00:02:45,382
Guess what my boo Hamilton
got for me.
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00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:47,993
Uh, the number to a reliable
plastic surgeon?
81
00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,908
- Ha, ha, ha, ha!
- No.
82
00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:51,954
Try two tickets
to The Weezer concert
83
00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:53,303
tomorrow night, homey.
84
00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:54,739
It's gonna be
the hottest show in town.
85
00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:55,740
Yes, sir.
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00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:56,741
Come on and give mama
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00:02:56,785 --> 00:02:57,960
a Hershey's kiss.
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Oh, baby.
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00:03:00,876 --> 00:03:01,964
Oh, God.
90
00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:06,360
- Miles!
- Dude, this is it.
91
00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:09,014
I'll take Amy
to The Weezer concert.
92
00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:10,102
It's a perfect first date.
93
00:03:10,146 --> 00:03:11,191
Oh, exactly.
94
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:12,801
What time should we all meet?
95
00:03:12,844 --> 00:03:14,411
We? N... N...
96
00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:16,065
Why would you wanna crash
Amy and I's first date?
97
00:03:16,108 --> 00:03:16,979
I mean,
you're not even into Weezer.
98
00:03:17,022 --> 00:03:18,241
True.
99
00:03:18,285 --> 00:03:19,547
But I am into Weezles.
100
00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:20,983
- Weezles?
- Yeah.
101
00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:22,637
They're Weezer groupies.
102
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,379
I heard they wear snuggies
with nothing underneath.
103
00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:26,902
And they're also alternative,
104
00:03:26,945 --> 00:03:28,295
which means they hate
their dads.
105
00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:30,253
So they'll bone anybody.
106
00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:32,299
So what are you waiting for?
107
00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:34,475
If you want a shot
at that tutor's puter...
108
00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:40,872
I got this.
109
00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:43,484
Go get'er, champ.
110
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:49,577
Hey, Amy.
111
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:50,665
- Hi, RJ.
- What's up?
112
00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:52,275
Not too much.
113
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Just you, me, and Weezer.
That's what.
114
00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:55,583
What?
115
00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,237
Weezer is coming
to Pinkerton tomorrow night?
116
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,803
Yeah, and we're going.
117
00:03:58,847 --> 00:04:01,719
Oh, wow, that's...
118
00:04:01,763 --> 00:04:03,678
Yeah, that's really...
That's sweet, but...
119
00:04:03,721 --> 00:04:05,157
Oh, no, no, no, no.
120
00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:05,854
It's cool.
I... You know, you...
121
00:04:05,897 --> 00:04:07,029
No, it's just that we...
122
00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:08,073
We can't get in.
123
00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,988
It's 21 and over.
124
00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:11,207
And last time I checked,
125
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,730
you're 15,
and I'm 17, so.
126
00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:14,036
Hey, you know what?
127
00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:15,037
Don't even sweat it.
128
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,647
I'll take care of everything.
129
00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:18,562
You will?
130
00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:21,348
Yeah.
131
00:04:21,391 --> 00:04:23,088
So...
132
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,699
are you asking me out
on a date?
133
00:04:24,742 --> 00:04:28,746
Yes, I am.
134
00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:31,836
Uh, I mean, like,
135
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,142
if you're, like,
okay with that,
136
00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:35,100
then... Then yes, I am.
137
00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:36,885
Tch, yeah, I'm...
138
00:04:36,928 --> 00:04:38,365
Yeah, okay, then yes.
139
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:41,455
- Okay.
- Okay.
140
00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,634
See, I told you
you could do it.
141
00:04:46,677 --> 00:04:49,158
Yeah, except now I can't get
into the show.
142
00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:51,160
Dude, they're called
fake ids.
143
00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:51,856
Everyone at school's got'em.
144
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,554
Berger!
145
00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:55,425
I'm taking your mama out
tomorrow night.
146
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:56,687
And I wanna get her
something special.
147
00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:57,906
Any ideas?
148
00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,211
No!
149
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:00,604
- Come on, Berger.
- Work with me.
150
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,127
I'll help you lock it up
with that cute brunette.
151
00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:03,912
It's called tit for tat.
152
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:05,130
You know,
I don't really need your help.
153
00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:08,264
Fake IDs.
154
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,918
Fake IDs.
155
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,443
Yeah, okay.
156
00:05:13,487 --> 00:05:15,227
Actually, we do need some...
157
00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:16,228
fake IDs.
158
00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:18,100
Yeah.
159
00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:19,493
Uh, for a concert
tomorrow night.
160
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:21,059
- Hmm.
- Fake IDs, huh?
161
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:22,496
Yeah, three of 'em.
162
00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:25,847
Three of them.
163
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:29,938
Go to this address
164
00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:32,897
and ask for Fidel.
165
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:34,638
He'll get you fake ids.
166
00:05:34,682 --> 00:05:36,988
Easy as pie.
167
00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:39,034
Brunette pie.
168
00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:41,341
Ah, ah, ah.
Tit for tat.
169
00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:45,867
Tell me what to get
your mama.
170
00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:47,738
Tulips.
171
00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:50,437
She loves tulips.
172
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,221
Ah, tulips.
173
00:05:52,264 --> 00:05:53,440
Yeah, they're her favorite.
174
00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:56,181
Okay, gotcha.
175
00:05:56,225 --> 00:06:01,056
Better get to the florist's.
176
00:06:01,099 --> 00:06:03,014
Doesn't your mom hate tulips?
177
00:06:03,058 --> 00:06:05,060
No.
178
00:06:05,103 --> 00:06:07,889
She's just super-allergic.
179
00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:10,848
Genius.
180
00:06:20,728 --> 00:06:22,164
You sure this is
the right address?
181
00:06:22,207 --> 00:06:23,948
Uh...
182
00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:26,386
yeah, it's, uh,
183
00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:29,737
1150 Chunte street.
184
00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:31,086
I don't think
you're pronouncing that right.
185
00:06:31,129 --> 00:06:33,958
I think the h is silent.
186
00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:35,656
Hey, man.
187
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:37,658
I got a really bad feeling
about this.
188
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:39,050
I think we should go back.
189
00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:40,443
I... I don't know
about this whole fake ID thing.
190
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:43,054
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Get a grip, RJ.
191
00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:44,795
No IDs, no Weezer.
192
00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,319
No Weezer,
no impressed hot junior.
193
00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:48,886
No impressed hot junior,
194
00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:51,062
no blowies
from hot junior.
195
00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:55,371
You can do this.
196
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,372
Be strong.
197
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,026
We just gotta man up, bro.
198
00:06:58,069 --> 00:06:59,244
You know what I mean?
199
00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:02,247
Hey, there, gentlemen.
200
00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:07,427
- ¿Qué carajos quieren?
- Huh?
201
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:09,429
Um, hi.
202
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:11,866
Uh, we're looking for Fidel.
203
00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:14,042
I am Fidel.
204
00:07:14,085 --> 00:07:16,000
Waagggh!
205
00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:21,310
Dear God!
206
00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:28,317
Chang.
207
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,753
Make me a churro.
208
00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:35,411
Why are you here?
209
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,326
Um...
210
00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:38,327
Well, uh, we...
We were told
211
00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:39,850
that you sell fake IDs.
212
00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:41,112
Whoa.
213
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:42,636
Who told you I have IDs?
214
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:44,855
Um...
215
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:45,987
Our guidance counselor?
216
00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:48,946
Jeriba Sinclair?
217
00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:04,266
He's been sending me
a lotta students lately.
218
00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:05,920
- Oh.
- Oh, yeah.
219
00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:11,099
Man, that dude likes
craaaaaaazy nookie.
220
00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:15,538
Whatever bitch he's with
right now,
221
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:16,539
whew.
222
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:17,758
Skanky puter.
223
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:20,238
I guarontee.
224
00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:30,292
You have no idea how funny
that actually is.
225
00:08:30,335 --> 00:08:31,902
Let's do business.
226
00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:36,472
Nana.
227
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:40,302
Whoa.
228
00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:45,525
Attention, 1150 Chunte street.
229
00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:48,005
Ha, they're pronouncing it
wrong.
230
00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:49,659
This is the police.
231
00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:50,747
Come out with your hands up.
232
00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:52,009
Aw, hellno!
233
00:08:53,358 --> 00:08:55,230
Run for your life, dude!
234
00:08:55,273 --> 00:08:57,275
Not without the IDs.
235
00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:04,935
♪ When the time's run out
and your life's on ice ♪
236
00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:08,286
♪ You need a plastic ticket
to paradise ♪
237
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:09,331
♪ Hey, you're the man
238
00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:10,201
♪ Ain't gonna say please
239
00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:12,421
♪ 'Cause you got IDs
240
00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,466
♪ You can take in a show
241
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:15,903
♪ You can go to the bar
242
00:09:15,946 --> 00:09:17,861
♪ You can even have
your very own rental car ♪
243
00:09:17,905 --> 00:09:20,342
♪ You can party harder
than Charlie Sheen ♪
244
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:22,692
♪ The whole world's NC-17
245
00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:25,869
Complimentary drinks,
gentlemen?
246
00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:27,044
Dude.
247
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:28,437
Is this heaven?
248
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,570
♪ Scratch-off tickets
and bottles of booze ♪
249
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:32,093
You kids can't be
in here.
250
00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:33,790
♪ you can even vote
for president if you choose ♪
251
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:38,273
Actually, sir, we're 21.
252
00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:40,231
Forgive me, gentlemen.
253
00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:42,494
Please let me make it up to you
with complimentary passes
254
00:09:42,538 --> 00:09:44,018
to our spa.
255
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:45,933
♪ Life is regal
when you're legal ♪
256
00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:47,543
♪ So take those fake wings
and learn to fly ♪
257
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,023
♪ Like eagles
258
00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:51,155
♪ We got IDs
259
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:00,338
Pardon me,
260
00:10:00,382 --> 00:10:02,166
but did you happen
to drop these?
261
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:03,211
No way!
262
00:10:03,254 --> 00:10:04,429
Nice work, RJ.
263
00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:06,127
You got fake IDs
264
00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:08,738
and tickets
to a sold-out show.
265
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:09,913
I'm pretty much gonna have
to put out now.
266
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,960
Wait, did you say sold out?
267
00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:14,091
Spread 'em.
268
00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:15,179
VIPs coming through.
269
00:10:15,223 --> 00:10:17,355
Move it, losers.
270
00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:19,967
Guess who's rolling VIP
to the concert tonight?
271
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:20,968
Tool bag.
272
00:10:21,011 --> 00:10:22,926
Uh, we are, tool bag.
273
00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:25,059
Right, little mister
pork sword here
274
00:10:25,102 --> 00:10:26,451
got you tickets?
275
00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:30,717
Um, yeah.
276
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:31,979
- Right.
- Ha.
277
00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:37,637
See you there.
278
00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:42,337
Chill out, dude.
279
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:43,730
Why am I such an idiot?
280
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:44,948
I told Amy I had tickets
to the show,
281
00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:46,907
and now it's sold out.
282
00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,430
- What am I gonna do?
- Well, don't panic.
283
00:10:48,473 --> 00:10:50,562
All right, we just gotta find
a copy machine.
284
00:10:50,606 --> 00:10:52,129
Berger!
285
00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:04,838
Good luck.
286
00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:13,411
I can't believe you sent us
to that crack house.
287
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:15,196
You almost got us killed.
288
00:11:15,239 --> 00:11:17,067
- Couple of white boys like you?
- Stop exaggerating.
289
00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:18,852
You got the fake IDs, right?
Hey, no big deal.
290
00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:20,288
No big deal?
291
00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:22,246
Okay, I am this close to telling
my mom about yesterday.
292
00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:23,770
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
let's not do anything drastic.
293
00:11:23,813 --> 00:11:27,382
Maybe this might help ease
your pain.
294
00:11:27,425 --> 00:11:28,775
Go ahead, take it.
295
00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:33,518
Anybody asks, you found those
on a dead hooker.
296
00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:34,563
Tit for tat, lady-killer.
297
00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:36,652
You hooked me up
with the tulip tip.
298
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:37,609
I hooked you up
with the tickets.
299
00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:38,610
Now we all good, right?
300
00:11:38,654 --> 00:11:40,090
No telling your mama
301
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:41,352
about all that
fake ID business.
302
00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:42,658
Right?
303
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,399
- Riiight.
- All right.
304
00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:47,228
Actually, I...
305
00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:49,099
I... I lied.
306
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:53,060
My mom's allergic to tulips.
307
00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:56,933
Sunflowers.
She likes sunflowers.
308
00:11:56,977 --> 00:11:58,718
Well.
309
00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:02,547
Since we all fessin' up
and shit,
310
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:04,332
I called the cops
on that crack house.
311
00:12:04,375 --> 00:12:05,594
Yeah, at the time,
312
00:12:05,637 --> 00:12:06,943
getting you going in juvy
seemed like
313
00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:08,423
the easiest way to get you
outta the picture.
314
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:09,903
You are a psychotic asshole.
315
00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:11,295
Ah, it's all water
under the bridge.
316
00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:13,907
And it looks like we got
something in common after all.
317
00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:16,344
We both a couple
of backstabbing motherfuckers
318
00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:18,999
who got big dates tonight.
319
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:20,696
Coach!
320
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,132
What?
321
00:12:22,176 --> 00:12:23,568
Coach, our lockers got jacked.
322
00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:25,005
Somebody stole concert tickets.
323
00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:27,224
Naked pics
of our girlfriends, too.
324
00:12:27,268 --> 00:12:28,573
What am I,
a coat check girl?
325
00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:31,794
Public schools are dangerous.
326
00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:33,491
- Wait a minute.
- No, coach.
327
00:12:33,535 --> 00:12:35,624
I said they're dangerous.
328
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:37,147
Do I look like
the damn police?
329
00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:40,498
Go cry to your mama.
330
00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:49,116
Gotta say, RJ,
331
00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:50,378
I didn't think
you could pull it off.
332
00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:52,423
But we're here.
I'm so excited!
333
00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:53,685
Oh, it was nothing.
334
00:12:53,729 --> 00:12:54,991
Yeah, it was nothing.
335
00:12:55,035 --> 00:12:56,514
'cept you almost got killed.
336
00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:57,994
And have you noticed?
337
00:12:58,038 --> 00:12:59,909
No one here
is wearing a snuggie.
338
00:12:59,953 --> 00:13:02,782
Oh, I hate Wikipedia!
339
00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:05,697
Tickets and IDs.
340
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:11,878
Thai Ni Wang?
341
00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:14,663
Ni Hao.
342
00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:16,883
Johannes Rittershaus?
343
00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:21,496
Guten tag.
344
00:13:21,539 --> 00:13:23,367
Esteban Villalón?
345
00:13:23,411 --> 00:13:27,110
Sí.
346
00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:30,635
Enjoy the show.
347
00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:31,898
VIPs.
348
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:34,509
Oh, RJ.
349
00:13:34,552 --> 00:13:37,468
RJ Berger, right?
350
00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:38,774
Yeah, it's you.
351
00:13:40,036 --> 00:13:42,256
VIP.
Come on, baby.
352
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:44,475
'Sup, Miles?
353
00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:48,088
Lo siento, Esteban.
354
00:13:48,131 --> 00:13:49,132
Get the hell outta my club.
355
00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:51,395
Quick, show him your tits.
356
00:13:51,439 --> 00:13:52,396
Check this out.
357
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,094
- No, no, no.
- Oh, dude, bro.
358
00:13:54,137 --> 00:13:55,138
Come on, just...
359
00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:56,226
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Easy, easy.
360
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:57,227
We'll sit in the back.
361
00:13:57,271 --> 00:13:58,228
We're not gonna drink.
362
00:14:10,371 --> 00:14:11,894
Hey, wow.
363
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:14,592
Jeriba.
364
00:14:14,636 --> 00:14:16,029
I love sunflowers.
365
00:14:16,072 --> 00:14:17,291
How did you know?
366
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:18,683
Ah, a little turd
told me.
367
00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:21,251
Aw.
368
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:24,080
Achoo!
369
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,690
Is there wild grass
in this?
370
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:26,822
- Hell if I know.
- It came with the bouquet.
371
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,433
I'm allergic
to wild grass.
372
00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:32,088
Where's my Epi pen?
373
00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:34,438
Berger.
374
00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:40,749
♪ I'm a lot like you
so please ♪
375
00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:43,491
♪ Hello, I'm here
376
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:47,930
♪ I'm waiting
377
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:53,718
♪ I think I'd be good
for you ♪
378
00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:55,503
♪ And you'd
379
00:14:55,546 --> 00:15:01,161
♪ Be good for me
380
00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:02,510
Can't believe
that the whole school's there
381
00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:03,598
except for us.
382
00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:05,034
I'm so sorry, Amy.
383
00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:06,253
I wanted this to be perfect,
384
00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:07,428
and I totally blew it.
385
00:15:07,471 --> 00:15:09,517
- It's okay.
- It's okay, RJ.
386
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:10,605
You know,
we got pretty close.
387
00:15:10,648 --> 00:15:12,694
This isn't so bad.
388
00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:13,608
This isn't so bad.
389
00:15:13,651 --> 00:15:14,609
Are you serious?
390
00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:17,133
This sucks!
391
00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:18,700
And this freakin' snuggie's
making my balls itch.
392
00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:21,050
Okay, I would like
to go home now.
393
00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:28,101
No, stay here.
394
00:15:28,144 --> 00:15:30,320
I'm getting us in.
395
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:31,843
RJ!
396
00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:11,753
- Wah!
- Hola, Esteban.
397
00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:12,536
Hola.
398
00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:17,498
I thought I told you
to stay the hell outta my club!
399
00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:19,979
Look, I know I'm underage,
but there's a girl outside,
400
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:21,110
and if I don't get her in,
401
00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:23,243
I will never have
another chance with her.
402
00:16:23,286 --> 00:16:26,028
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Hold on, man.
403
00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:28,683
- Weezer!
- Hey.
404
00:16:28,726 --> 00:16:32,078
- Felipe, hold on a second, man.
- Kid...
405
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,209
you broke in here
just for a girl?
406
00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:36,212
Yeah, and she is
your biggest fan,
407
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:38,084
and this concert
would mean the world to her...
408
00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:39,433
And to me...
409
00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:41,217
and...
And... And to us.
410
00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:43,393
- Okay. We understand.
- Just it's, uh,
411
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:45,482
you know...
a girl like that
412
00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:47,528
doesn't pay attention
to a guy like me very often.
413
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:49,530
Yeah, no [bleep].
414
00:16:49,573 --> 00:16:50,792
- And I...
- I really like her.
415
00:16:50,835 --> 00:16:52,272
What's your name?
416
00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:53,838
- Um, RJ.
- RJ Berger.
417
00:16:53,882 --> 00:16:55,710
Well, RJ Berger,
418
00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:57,494
I understand
what it's like to be that guy.
419
00:16:57,538 --> 00:17:00,193
On the outside,
I may look like a rock god...
420
00:17:00,236 --> 00:17:01,672
but on the inside,
421
00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:05,024
I just wanna play with
my ants in my ant farm.
422
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:08,375
- I like slot cars.
- I still wet my bed.
423
00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:11,247
I love dressing up
like a little girl.
424
00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:12,901
See? We're not
that different from you.
425
00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:15,382
Wow. That's...
really awesome.
426
00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:18,298
So maybe now you can...
You can let us in?
427
00:17:18,341 --> 00:17:20,517
Weezer, Weezer, Weezer!
428
00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:22,998
- Sorry, kid.
- You're underage.
429
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:27,133
It's illegal for you to watch
the show from the audience.
430
00:17:27,176 --> 00:17:29,657
Weezer, Weezer, Weezer.
431
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:30,919
I got it.
432
00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:32,790
So... you'll have to
watch the show
433
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:34,618
from the side of the stage.
434
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:39,449
No way!
435
00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:41,451
Felipe, get my boy
some wristbands.
436
00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:45,020
Yeah, Felipe, get my boy
some wristbands!
437
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,891
Nope.
Cooler when you said it.
438
00:17:46,935 --> 00:17:51,331
Weezer, Weezer,
Weezer, Weezer, Weezer!
439
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:02,733
I wanna dedicate this song
440
00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:04,648
to nerds everywhere.
441
00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:06,259
RJ and Amy...
442
00:18:06,302 --> 00:18:09,131
this one's for you.
443
00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:12,439
♪ Someday
444
00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:14,049
♪ I'll be comin' for you
445
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,964
♪ You'll know
446
00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:18,140
♪ What I'm wanting to do
447
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:21,143
♪ I'll know
the words to say ♪
448
00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:22,884
♪ To draw you in
449
00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:25,713
♪ So close to me
450
00:18:25,756 --> 00:18:28,498
♪ Over and over
451
00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:32,807
♪ We swore it was over
452
00:18:32,850 --> 00:18:36,115
♪ But just like
wild clover ♪
453
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:41,163
♪ Love grows at light speed
454
00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:44,601
♪ Hang on
till I see you again ♪
455
00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:48,692
♪ I'm going to be
more than a friend ♪
456
00:18:48,736 --> 00:18:51,565
♪ You know
that this isn't the end ♪
457
00:18:51,608 --> 00:18:53,828
- ♪ So hang on
- ♪ Hang on
458
00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:56,961
♪ Hang on, hang on
459
00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:58,789
♪ This was
460
00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:00,051
♪ Just a very first start
461
00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:02,489
♪ There's more
462
00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:04,578
♪ That I hold in my heart
463
00:19:04,621 --> 00:19:07,581
♪ I'm waiting
for a chance ♪
464
00:19:07,624 --> 00:19:10,932
♪ To show you
how I long to be ♪
465
00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:15,023
♪ Over and over
466
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:18,592
♪ We swore it was over
467
00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:23,074
♪ But just like I'm solar
468
00:19:23,118 --> 00:19:27,166
♪ You warm up to me
469
00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:30,865
♪ Hang on
till I see you again ♪
470
00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:35,174
♪ I'm going to be
more than a friend ♪
471
00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:36,436
♪ You know that this...
472
00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:39,352
- Watch it!
- Aah!
473
00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:41,528
♪ Hang on, hang on,
hang on ♪
474
00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:43,094
♪ Hang on
475
00:19:43,138 --> 00:19:46,620
♪ Hang on till
I see you again ♪
476
00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:48,187
- ♪ Hang on
- ♪ I'm going to be
477
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:50,537
- ♪ More than a friend
- ♪ Hang on
478
00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:53,235
♪ You know
that this isn't the end ♪
479
00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:54,889
♪ So hang on, hang on
480
00:19:54,932 --> 00:19:57,021
♪ Hang on, hang on
481
00:19:57,065 --> 00:20:00,286
♪ Hang on
482
00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:05,116
Weezer! Weezer! Weezer! Weezer!
483
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,294
My name is RJ Berger,
and thank you, Weezer.
484
00:20:10,165 --> 00:20:12,254
Next on The Hard Times
of RJ Berger
485
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:15,518
Tomorrow is your daddy's
and my 20th anniversary.
486
00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:17,346
- Oh.
- I was hoping
487
00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:18,304
you could be here
in the evening.
488
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:20,175
I don't trust myself
to be alone
489
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,437
my first anniversary
away from mommy.
490
00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:23,265
- Your parents are grown-ups.
- Not really.
491
00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:25,354
I could...
maybe go with you
492
00:20:25,398 --> 00:20:26,703
for moral support.
493
00:20:26,747 --> 00:20:28,009
My mom's apartment.
6:30.
494
00:20:28,052 --> 00:20:30,794
Mom, coach, this is Amy.
495
00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:32,448
- Amy.
- Hi.
496
00:20:32,492 --> 00:20:34,711
- So you're the older woman
- RJ's been telling us about.
497
00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:35,756
Dad.
32352
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