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1
00:00:15,711 --> 00:00:17,756
Africa's that way...
2
00:00:17,843 --> 00:00:21,456
elephant.
3
00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:23,327
- What?
- No witty comeback?
4
00:00:23,414 --> 00:00:24,807
- Why?
- He was talking
5
00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:26,069
about you, wasn't he?
6
00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:27,462
Big wang
equals elephant trunk.
7
00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:29,290
That sort of thing.
That's how I read it.
8
00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:30,378
Mm, I mean,
I sort of read it as,
9
00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:32,641
like, a dig on
your general fluffiness.
10
00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:34,034
Hey...
11
00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:35,513
whatever helps you
sleep at night, bro.
12
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,080
All I know
is I am happy
13
00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:39,300
that this hellhole of a week
is almost over.
14
00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:41,389
- Oh, tgi-Thursday, bro.
- Why?
15
00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:43,217
Our weekends are
just like our weekdays.
16
00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:45,436
Except lonelier.
We have no cool friends,
17
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:48,135
no license, no fake ID.
18
00:00:48,222 --> 00:00:50,615
Hey! Patterson's having
a party this weekend.
19
00:00:50,702 --> 00:00:53,314
- We can try and crash!
- Oh, that's a good idea.
20
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:54,445
Let's go hang out
with the same assholes
21
00:00:54,532 --> 00:00:56,969
that beat us up all week.
22
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,276
Well, in that case, RJ,
23
00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:00,451
it looks like another weekend
24
00:01:00,538 --> 00:01:03,628
of fingering
that sweet, sweaty box.
25
00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:06,022
Xbox!
26
00:01:06,109 --> 00:01:07,937
Are there even elephants
in Africa?
27
00:01:08,024 --> 00:01:09,373
There are, actually.
28
00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:11,114
Boys.
29
00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:12,942
Uh, listen, RJ.
Your mommy and I
30
00:01:13,029 --> 00:01:15,945
are ducking out of town
for a European couples weekend
31
00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:17,686
tomorrow morning,
and we've arranged
32
00:01:17,773 --> 00:01:20,297
for a sitter for, uh, you.
33
00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:22,169
- Uh, what?
- That is bull[bleep].
34
00:01:22,256 --> 00:01:24,475
- I am 15!
- Honey, we know
35
00:01:24,562 --> 00:01:26,303
you're a responsible young man.
36
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:29,045
We would just
feel more comfortable
37
00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:30,873
knowing you were being
looked after.
38
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,702
Well, if you insist on finding
a babysitter for sport here,
39
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,486
I mean, I'd like to
throw my hat in the ring.
40
00:01:35,573 --> 00:01:37,793
Granted, I have zero experience,
41
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:41,231
but I defy you
to find a better bargain.
42
00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:43,277
Not happening.
43
00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:44,626
Oh, that's probably her
right now.
44
00:01:44,713 --> 00:01:48,456
- Mom, a babysitter?
- Okay, seriously?
45
00:01:48,543 --> 00:01:50,022
I'm straight-up
embarrassed, Suzanne.
46
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,721
I mean, what has he ever done
to earn this lack of trust?
47
00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:54,723
Well, there was the time
the two of you blew up the oven.
48
00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:56,116
- Okay.
- And there was the time
49
00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,465
I found the cat
in the lettuce crisper.
50
00:01:57,552 --> 00:01:59,510
And I'm not
gonna name names,
51
00:01:59,597 --> 00:02:01,512
but I still can't find
my personal massager.
52
00:02:01,599 --> 00:02:03,862
- Miles?
- I thought I returned that.
53
00:02:03,949 --> 00:02:05,386
We have a cat?
54
00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:16,745
RJ, I would like you
to meet your babysitter.
55
00:02:16,832 --> 00:02:18,486
This is Jenni.
56
00:02:18,573 --> 00:02:21,358
With an "I",
like, "I love babysitting."
57
00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:28,060
My name is RJ Berger.
58
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,628
And I can't wait
for the weekend.
59
00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:37,853
Okay, boys, before we go,
60
00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:39,550
I wanna go over
a few ground rules.
61
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:41,073
- Dad, uh-huh.
- I know the ground rules.
62
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,814
Right?
Have a safe...
63
00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:45,687
- First, don't go in
- Mommy and Daddy's special room.
64
00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:47,471
- I.E. sex dungeon.
- Second,
65
00:02:47,558 --> 00:02:49,908
you can have a few friends over,
but no parties.
66
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:51,475
Yeah, we'll see
about that, right?
67
00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:53,085
And Miles,
please remember to break up
68
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,218
those big poops of yours
with the toilet brush.
69
00:02:55,305 --> 00:02:56,654
You know,
they clog the toilet,
70
00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:58,352
the next thing you know,
the bathroom's flooded.
71
00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:00,745
She... She's kidding.
72
00:03:00,832 --> 00:03:03,139
And okay, guys, we just got
the carpet cleaned.
73
00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:04,358
So if you do have friends over,
74
00:03:04,445 --> 00:03:06,229
please ask them
to take off their shoes.
75
00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:08,100
And you know we're okay
with the birds and the bees,
76
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,537
but let's take it easy
with too many of these.
77
00:03:09,624 --> 00:03:10,668
Glug, glug, glug.
78
00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:12,279
Jenni, keep your eye
on these two, okay?
79
00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:13,976
- Will do, Mrs. Berger.
- Okay.
80
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:18,937
- Thank you, thank you.
- Okay.
81
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,640
- Bye!
- Bye.
82
00:03:25,727 --> 00:03:28,033
- Bye, RJ!
- Love you!
83
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,384
Well, see you inside, RJ.
84
00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:37,478
Dude, your parents
are outta town.
85
00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:39,088
By law, you have
to throw a rager.
86
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:40,916
Absolutely not, dude.
87
00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:43,005
I've got a smokin' hot girl
living in my house.
88
00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:44,485
I think I'm gonna keep that
to myself, thank you very much.
89
00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:46,661
You selfish
son of a bitch!
90
00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:48,793
You have
a one in a mill...
91
00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:56,758
Dude...
wait here while I chisel
92
00:03:56,845 --> 00:03:58,412
a statue of that
with my boner.
93
00:04:01,632 --> 00:04:03,112
You have a one in a million shot
with her.
94
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,461
I'll take those odds.
95
00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:05,897
And I'm not gonna lower them
by inviting over
96
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:07,943
a bunch of drunk douchebags
to compete with me.
97
00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:10,728
This discussion
isn't even close to over.
98
00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:12,730
Meet me at the bus stop
in ten minutes.
99
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:20,738
You know what, RJ?
100
00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,265
High school
is lame enough
101
00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:26,744
without having to
take the bus.
102
00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:33,534
Want a ride?
103
00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:36,537
Heh.
104
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:49,593
Good thing I drove
instead of you.
105
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,073
Why?
106
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,553
Because you were looking
at my boobs
107
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,685
the whole way over.
108
00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:56,383
Relax, I was
just messing with you.
109
00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:57,949
I don't mind.
110
00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:07,176
Huh?
111
00:05:07,263 --> 00:05:09,178
What is wrong
with this picture?
112
00:05:09,265 --> 00:05:11,963
Uh...
thank you for the ride.
113
00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:14,183
Uh, I'll see you...
114
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:16,707
All weekend long, RJ.
115
00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:17,404
Peace.
116
00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,107
- What's the deal,
- Berger?
117
00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:28,719
You got a hot stepmom
you didn't tell me about?
118
00:05:28,806 --> 00:05:31,069
Actually, Max, she's
a part-time Pilates instructor
119
00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:32,810
who doesn't mind
that I look at her boobs.
120
00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:37,162
And we're living together.
121
00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:38,816
- What?
- Oh.
122
00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:40,252
Have a good day.
123
00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:47,129
Ah, I guess when I said,
"Meet me at the bus stop
124
00:05:47,216 --> 00:05:48,609
in ten minutes,"
you took that more as an,
125
00:05:48,696 --> 00:05:50,828
"if you feel like it" thing.
126
00:05:50,915 --> 00:05:52,134
Dude, I'm sorry.
127
00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:54,179
Jenni gave me
a ride to school.
128
00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:56,225
- Oh!
- That's great for you, man!
129
00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:57,618
Way to include a friend
in on that.
130
00:05:57,705 --> 00:05:59,054
- Miles.
- Hey, so I think
131
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:00,925
I found a solution
to our party issue, dude.
132
00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:03,232
There's no issue because
we're not having a party.
133
00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:05,321
We're not
having a party indeed.
134
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:08,498
Because what we're gonna have
is a small, sophisticated
135
00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:11,327
cocktail soiree,
all right?
136
00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:14,374
All class, strictly enforced
no douchebag policy.
137
00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:16,854
I'm talking those
little French bread pizzas,
138
00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:19,335
and those tiny,
not-so-absorbent napkins, bro.
139
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,816
Okay, that actually
sounds pretty awesome.
140
00:06:21,903 --> 00:06:23,731
Right.
141
00:06:23,818 --> 00:06:25,297
Yeah, it's the perfect way
to show
142
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,038
a certain
smokin' hot babysitter
143
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:29,258
that you're sophisticated
college material.
144
00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:31,086
Here's the only thing.
145
00:06:31,173 --> 00:06:33,131
Every time
I say yes to you,
146
00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:36,700
my life turns into a steaming
heap of animal diarrhea.
147
00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:45,013
So what did he say?
148
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:48,886
Well, technically...
he didn't say no.
149
00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:50,453
Better get
that mustache waxed, Lily.
150
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:51,802
We're having us a party.
151
00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:01,508
Big plans tonight?
152
00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:03,553
Looks like you're
heading out to a rager.
153
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,250
- No.
- Well, heck no.
154
00:07:05,337 --> 00:07:08,166
No, no, I'm not into
the whole high school scene...
155
00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:09,951
keggers, and what have you.
156
00:07:10,038 --> 00:07:11,909
No, no, I'm... I guess
I'm just a little bit
157
00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:13,737
more sophisticated
than that.
158
00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:16,087
You know,
I prefer my Friday evenings
159
00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:18,873
to just, you know,
make a mean cocktail.
160
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,614
Unwind.
161
00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:22,398
Just let
the stress of the week
162
00:07:22,485 --> 00:07:24,922
just melt into my loafers.
163
00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:28,752
Well, okay then.
164
00:07:30,362 --> 00:07:31,929
Well, okay then.
165
00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:42,113
Dog Fancy?
166
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,550
You're into dog breeding?
167
00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:45,682
I'm into...
all kinds of breeding, Jenni.
168
00:07:45,769 --> 00:07:48,424
Actually, I almost enjoy it as much
169
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:52,689
as I enjoy the economy
and empowered
170
00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:54,082
female talk show hosts.
171
00:07:54,169 --> 00:07:57,651
Wow, you're passionate
about so many things.
172
00:07:57,738 --> 00:08:00,305
I guess you could say that.
173
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:03,874
Yeah... I could also say
that you're full of [bleep].
174
00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:08,009
Look, you're cute, RJ.
175
00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:11,273
But "A," I'm, like,
ten years older than you,
176
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:14,798
"B," I have a boyfriend,
and "C," I'm your babysitter.
177
00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:16,887
Now, if you're
not going out tonight
178
00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:19,499
then why don't we just kick it
and find a movie on TV
179
00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:20,717
or something?
180
00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:22,545
Does that sound
sophisticated enough?
181
00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:27,419
- Yes.
- That... That would be fine.
182
00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:32,337
But I was serious
about that cocktail.
183
00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:34,209
Can I make you one?
184
00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:36,080
I'll take a rain check, thanks.
185
00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:38,039
I'm not gonna, like,
tell my mom or anything.
186
00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:39,780
I know, it's just
I tend to be a little much
187
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:41,172
when I drink.
188
00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:43,566
You know, let me know
if you change your mind.
189
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:46,003
- Oh, and RJ?
- Mm?
190
00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:47,657
You can probably
lose the vest now.
191
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:55,926
Did you order pizza
or something?
192
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:56,927
No.
193
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:03,020
Who's ready to party?
194
00:09:03,107 --> 00:09:06,197
- Damn it, Miles!
- I said no party.
195
00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:08,199
Really?
'Cause I could've sworn
196
00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:10,027
you said that actually
sounded pretty awesome.
197
00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,333
I think you know
what I meant.
198
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:13,030
Come on.
199
00:09:15,293 --> 00:09:18,166
I mean, just saying,
next time you might wanna be
200
00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:19,471
a little more clear.
201
00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:25,913
♪ Bang, bang, bang,
bang, bang, shoot them girls ♪
202
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,567
Dude, give me one reason why
I shouldn't
203
00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:29,351
throw you and your fat ass
out in the street.
204
00:09:29,438 --> 00:09:31,266
If you're concerned
that this little gathering
205
00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:33,224
might negatively impact your
chances with the babysitter...
206
00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:35,183
Dude, I'm more concerned
with my parents
207
00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:37,315
coming home and finding
their house destroyed.
208
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:40,362
RJ, these mouth-breathers
won't give you any trouble.
209
00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:42,582
I mean, half of them have
never been to a party before.
210
00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:45,933
The other half
have curfews before 9:30.
211
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:48,065
- So how'd he take it?
- He took it great!
212
00:09:48,152 --> 00:09:50,851
Right, RJ?
213
00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:53,157
♪ And I'm a monster when
I'm lifting up my boom box ♪
214
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:55,464
♪ Rock it from your new wave
collar to your tube socks ♪
215
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:57,031
♪ Bounce like an umlaut ♪
216
00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:58,510
♪ Get it, get it,
girly-girl ♪
217
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,382
Uh, let me guess.
218
00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:03,472
A hippo having a seizure.
219
00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:04,952
No, no, no, wait.
220
00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:07,998
A hippo who found
a bag of crystal meth.
221
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:09,870
Heh, you can criticize
all you want, Lily.
222
00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:11,523
Not gonna change
the fact that you look
223
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,308
like an Ewok who hasn't slept
for three weeks.
224
00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:14,483
Heh, heh, heh.
225
00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:20,097
I think he's the only one
that knows this is a party.
226
00:10:20,184 --> 00:10:22,099
Yeah, well,
most of these kids
227
00:10:22,186 --> 00:10:23,971
are not used to being offline
for this long.
228
00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:26,234
RJ, this is pathetic.
229
00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:30,238
Don't any of you guys
know how to rage?
230
00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:32,544
- Randy does.
- That's, like, the fourth beer
231
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,285
that dude's
shotgunned tonight.
232
00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:35,809
That's apple juice, RJ.
233
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,941
He's shotgunning
apple juice.
234
00:10:38,028 --> 00:10:40,074
- Yeah!
- That was awesome.
235
00:10:40,161 --> 00:10:43,251
That poor girl's been
smelling her hair all night.
236
00:10:45,601 --> 00:10:48,082
And the guy who's tonguing
his asthma inhaler
237
00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:51,389
probably thinks
that counts as a hookup.
238
00:10:51,476 --> 00:10:53,827
Look, I shouldn't do this,
but I can't
239
00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:55,655
watch you waste
a perfectly good night
240
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:56,830
with your parents outta town.
241
00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,309
Whoa, whoa,
doesn't this break
242
00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:00,703
your sacred babysitting oath
or something?
243
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,097
No one's driving tonight.
244
00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:06,578
And I seriously doubt anyone
here is gonna get too crazy.
245
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,409
♪ You can feel it
when the groove stops ♪
246
00:11:11,496 --> 00:11:13,716
♪ Listen to the boom box ♪
247
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:17,241
♪ Boom, boom, boom box,
boom, boom, boom box ♪
248
00:11:17,328 --> 00:11:19,026
♪ Unplug it if it's too hot,
listen to the boom box ♪
249
00:11:19,113 --> 00:11:20,810
Damn.
250
00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:23,334
That is pretty good.
Here, you try.
251
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:26,555
♪ Boom, boom, boom, box,
I've got my boom box, hey ♪
252
00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:28,426
♪ I've got my lollipop, hey ♪
253
00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:29,950
♪ I've got my favorite tape,
uh-huh ♪
254
00:11:30,037 --> 00:11:31,995
♪ I got my AOA ♪
255
00:11:32,082 --> 00:11:34,519
- Pretty good.
- You keep working on that,
256
00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:39,133
and I'll dispense the rest
of this to the dork brigade.
257
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:41,135
♪ Can you hear
my boom, boom box ♪
258
00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:43,006
♪ All the way
down the block ♪
259
00:11:43,093 --> 00:11:44,442
♪ I wanna see some
booty shake ♪
260
00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:45,879
♪ Bass pumpin' ♪
261
00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:49,099
♪ Come on, come on,
get on the floor ♪
262
00:11:57,542 --> 00:12:00,458
Whoo-oo-hoo!
263
00:12:08,205 --> 00:12:10,033
Great.
264
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,035
Look, you're
taking salsa lessons.
265
00:12:12,122 --> 00:12:14,124
Whoa.
266
00:12:16,126 --> 00:12:17,171
Check it out, Cynthia.
267
00:12:17,258 --> 00:12:19,260
This is what
I wanna do to you.
268
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:26,963
Hey, check it out, Meredith.
269
00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:29,009
This is what
I wanna do to you.
270
00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:33,317
Asshole!
271
00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:47,157
- Ugh!
- Whew!
272
00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:49,899
Uh, it's really
heating up out there.
273
00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:53,816
What is it
about girls named Jenni?
274
00:12:53,903 --> 00:12:55,513
Oh, boy.
275
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,907
That's gotta tear up
your insides, huh?
276
00:12:57,994 --> 00:12:59,387
Just knowing
that you'll never have
277
00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:02,346
one tenth of one percent
of that hotness.
278
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:04,218
Ouch.
279
00:13:04,305 --> 00:13:06,655
You know what I'll bet
tears up your insides, Miles?
280
00:13:06,742 --> 00:13:09,353
The 50 pounds of fast food
you shove in your fat,
281
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,138
ugly face every week.
282
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:13,880
Hey, babe,
it takes a lot of processed meat
283
00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:15,142
to look this sweet.
284
00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:20,364
RJ...
285
00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:23,063
- do you think I'm pretty?
- Yes, I think you're pretty.
286
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:26,718
Would you tell me that
I needed to go to the gym more?
287
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,765
- Are you serious?
- You're... You're...
288
00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,985
You're perfect.
289
00:13:32,072 --> 00:13:33,551
You're so not like
those frat guys.
290
00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:36,946
You know... you know
what was so cute?
291
00:13:39,079 --> 00:13:41,864
When you were acting
all sophisticated.
292
00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:43,997
I knew what you wanted.
293
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:45,912
You did?
294
00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:49,611
Just like I knew when you
stared at my boobs in the car.
295
00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:53,223
You wanted
an itsy bitsy feel.
296
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:56,009
I told you I get this way
when I drink.
297
00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:58,228
You know what I wish, RJ?
298
00:13:58,315 --> 00:14:01,101
I wish we were alone
right now.
299
00:14:03,494 --> 00:14:04,887
Everybody out!
300
00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:09,109
Dude, what the hell?
301
00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:10,632
This party's
just heating up.
302
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:13,243
Yeah, and so are things
between me and Jenni.
303
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,724
- It's on, dude.
- Really?
304
00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:17,639
Bro, can I watch?
You know, hide in the closet,
305
00:14:17,726 --> 00:14:19,249
peek through the crack?
306
00:14:19,336 --> 00:14:21,121
I swear I will spank
in total silence.
307
00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:23,558
You won't
even know I'm there.
308
00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:25,516
- Come on, man!
- Out, Miles.
309
00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:29,042
- What's this?
- Patterson's party
310
00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:30,608
got broken up by the cops.
311
00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:33,742
Heard this was going on.
312
00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:36,832
So...
step aside, asswipes.
313
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,616
We're taking over.
314
00:14:55,068 --> 00:15:00,290
♪ DJ, play the song
a little louder now ♪
315
00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:02,553
Forget it, RJ.
316
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,165
There's nothing you can do now.
It's a tire fire.
317
00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:07,515
Get good and drunk
and watch it burn.
318
00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:09,038
Don't talk to me, Miles.
319
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:12,128
I mean, look at that.
320
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:14,696
Those jocks are practically
circle-jerking on Jenni.
321
00:15:14,783 --> 00:15:16,132
Practically.
322
00:15:20,223 --> 00:15:22,965
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
- That is my babysitter.
323
00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:29,145
Uh, hello?
324
00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:30,451
Oh, hi.
325
00:15:32,409 --> 00:15:35,238
Tonight?
Okay, see ya.
326
00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:38,111
Peace in the Middle East.
327
00:15:38,198 --> 00:15:40,026
- Who was that?
- Your boyfriend?
328
00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:42,550
- No, it was your mom.
- Oh.
329
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,204
I mean RJ's mom.
330
00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:46,902
Or dad.
I'm not sure.
331
00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:48,948
Wait, my mom called?
332
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,514
She... Wh-Wh-What
did she say?
333
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:51,994
She didn't hear
the party, right?
334
00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:53,648
I don't know.
335
00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:55,519
Your mom got the German
stomach flu or something,
336
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:56,912
so they're
flying back early.
337
00:15:56,999 --> 00:16:01,221
- W-W-Wait.
- You're RJ's babysitter?
338
00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:03,832
Oh!
Oh, my God!
339
00:16:03,919 --> 00:16:06,313
- This is priceless!
- Wait, Jenni, Jenni, Jenni!
340
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,793
How... How early
are they coming back?
341
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,144
Like 30 minutes early.
342
00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:12,754
Or wait,
in 30 minutes.
343
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:20,283
Everybody, listen up!
344
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:23,895
Everyone get the out
of my house now!
345
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:29,292
Thank you for coming.
Good seeing you.
346
00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:40,782
Nice outfit.
347
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:42,392
Which dumpster
did you get that out of?
348
00:16:42,479 --> 00:16:43,959
Oh, the same one
you got your breakfast in.
349
00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:45,787
All right,
listen up.
350
00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:49,269
We have 28 minutes to put
this place back together.
351
00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:51,401
You two take the bedrooms.
352
00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:52,968
Come on, Lily.
353
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:55,318
We got some work to do.
354
00:16:55,405 --> 00:16:57,277
It's time to use that
extra testosterone of yours.
355
00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:58,843
Shut up, fat ass.
356
00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:01,063
At least I don't break a sweat
opening a bag of chips.
357
00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:03,196
Oh, and that dumpster
I get my clothes out of
358
00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:04,588
is the same one your mom tried
to leave you in...
359
00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:06,590
- Jenni?
- ...after you were born.
360
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:07,765
Jenni?
361
00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:17,775
Great.
362
00:17:17,862 --> 00:17:19,212
Well, the reason
you don't sweat
363
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:21,257
is because canines
lack sweat glands.
364
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:22,650
Listen, you big tub of failure,
365
00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:24,739
I'm tired of taking abuse
from the guy that looks like
366
00:17:24,826 --> 00:17:27,176
the drag queen contestant
on Biggest Loser.
367
00:17:27,263 --> 00:17:28,699
- Yeah?
- Well, I'd rather look like
368
00:17:28,786 --> 00:17:30,484
a drag queen than some kind of
half Bettie Page,
369
00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:32,355
half woodchuck nightmare!
370
00:17:32,442 --> 00:17:34,705
- I hate you!
- Not as much as I hate you!
371
00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:45,847
Five minutes to spare,
not too shabby.
372
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,809
I think I passed out
for a few hours.
373
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:54,812
Yeah, it's been about
20 minutes, actually.
374
00:17:54,899 --> 00:17:55,987
- What time is it?
- Oh.
375
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,207
It's time for you
to go to bed.
376
00:17:58,294 --> 00:18:00,035
I'll help you up the stairs.
377
00:18:03,908 --> 00:18:05,432
Hmm?
378
00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:08,478
RJ, remember when I said
379
00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:10,437
I wished you and me
were alone?
380
00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:12,178
- Jenni.
- Jenni, Jenni,
381
00:18:12,265 --> 00:18:13,701
I don't think this is... ah!
382
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:17,139
RJ, do me now...
or do me never.
383
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:25,887
- Oh!
- Ugh!
384
00:18:34,025 --> 00:18:35,940
Aah!
385
00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:37,116
Hmm?
386
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,385
RJ?
387
00:18:59,094 --> 00:19:00,922
Ugh!
388
00:19:05,013 --> 00:19:07,233
Well, good night.
389
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:11,106
♪ Super all right,
super okay ♪
390
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:13,587
My name is RJ Berger.
391
00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:15,371
And I can't wait
for Monday.
392
00:19:16,329 --> 00:19:18,896
Next on The Hard Times
of RJ Berger...
393
00:19:18,983 --> 00:19:20,724
I'd hate to see
your good reputation
394
00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:23,988
- flushed down the toilet.
- Like a snaky turd.
395
00:19:24,075 --> 00:19:26,121
Did you just pop drugs
in my freaking office?
396
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,644
Detention?
397
00:19:27,731 --> 00:19:29,037
Yo, this is that kid
who threw that wild party
398
00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:30,821
where all them people died.
399
00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:33,259
Don't let these glasses
or these tiny arms fool you.
400
00:19:33,346 --> 00:19:35,478
This cat is crazy.
Come on, homie.
401
00:19:35,565 --> 00:19:37,480
- Ride with me.
- I feel like Scarface!
402
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:39,352
Move that piece of [bleep].
403
00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:41,005
Let's just go
the other way, baby.
404
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:43,747
You better listen
to your mommy, pretty boy.
405
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:45,445
I like my RJ Berger
meth-free.
406
00:19:45,532 --> 00:19:46,968
We got a good thing
going here, dude.
407
00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:48,012
Don't ruin it
by being honest.
29480
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