Original subtitles

It's not unusual for people that have been assaulted

not to talk about this for years.

I didn't unpack this until...

July, 2019,

when he had been arrested.

There had been a callout in the news

looking for witnesses, and...

that's when I made the call

and told my story

for the first time in 20 years

to an FBI agent.

I never wanted to discuss

what happened to me,

with my husband or with anyone.

It wasn't easy, but it was the right thing to do.

The rest is history, really.

Jeffrey Epstein is dead after being found unresponsive

at a New York City jail Saturday morning.

Officials say that his death was an apparent suicide.

- Killing himself allowed - Jeffrey Epstein to,

in a final way, say, "Screw you.

I get the last laugh."

It just fits with everything we know about him

to maintain control right till the end.

You know, that final twist of the knife.

"I'm not gonna let you get what you want,

which is seeing me in court."

Felt so...

like, let down that I didn't get the chance

to take away his freedom

the way he took away my freedom.

Yeah, I would've just liked to look in his eyes

and let him know who he is, the monster that he is.

Honestly, I don't know now what I would say to him now.

I guess there's a lot of anger, and there's just so much hurt,

and I just think everything was ripped from me.

It's been rough, you know?

I am still processing a lot

and still have an immense amount of anger,

you know, and some of which

I don't even know what to do with

because it's at him and he's not here anymore,

so it's like, where does it go?

We're not gonna do any questions right now.

Sorry.

More than a dozen alleged victims

of convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein

finally had their day in court.

Judge Berman held a hearing that was really unprecedented

because it allowed the victims to come forward

and be heard by the court

and talk about the abuse that they had suffered

when the perpetrator had actually already died,

and that was something that, in my career,

I had never seen happen before.

I thought that was fantastic,

and I got on the first plane I could

and flew out to New York.

Judge Berman... he really stood up for us

and tried to make a horrible situation right

in a way, I guess.

I wanted to be there and see that I wasn't alone.

I wanted to put faces to these girls,

to show that they were humans,

that these weren't just stories on paper.

It was exceptionally powerful

being in that courthouse.

Row after row after row of women.

Row after row of survivors.

And when it was time for us to stand up,

there's a crowd of us, a crowd,

waiting to go up there and speak.

Each person was going up one by one.

It's like, "Okay, these are people.

These are live, living people that this happened to."

And everybody's story was my story, you know,

and it's like...

it was just a weird bond that we all have.

To honestly hear them get up

and share was intense.

I have never felt so bonded

with people that I didn't even know.

- For the first time, - I met my survivor sisters.

And I call 'em sisters

because that's what they are to me,

and I love them so much.

I love them like a sister.

These are some of the most incredibly strong women

that I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.

It was very emotional.

It was also very comforting and very healing

at the same time.

After the court hearing, this girl runs and hugs me.

Oh, make me cry.

Hold on.

And she's like, "Oh, you don't know who I am,

"you don't know who I am, but I know who you are,

"and thank you, you know, for having a voice

when I couldn't find mine."

Standing up for not just myself,

but other women,

has just made me feel more empowered

and stronger.

Back when this was happening,

it was really the beginning of that awakening

of female empowerment and, really, a voice

for women to come forward.

Powerful men were seen as people that we should revere

and people we shouldn't question,

especially men not only in positions of power,

but with money.

And these young girls didn't have that voice back then.

Madame Speaker,

the President of the United States.

Jackie Speier is a congresswoman

from California.

She reaches out to my attorney, Brad Edwards,

and says that she wants to invite me as her plus one

to the State of the Union.

First off, it's super intimidating.

I'm just... I'm a mother, I work at a sports bar,

I'm just, like, a real normal, normal person.

Our spirit is still young.

The sun is still rising.

God's grace is still shining.

And, my fellow Americans,

the best is yet to come.

Thank you very much.

Jackie Speier says, you know,

"I just want to say that you are so brave,"

and then she expresses that she was a victim

of sexual abuse by her former boss

and she wouldn't have been able to come out the way I did,

and she commends me for it.

So it's just mind-blowing, because you're like,

"Okay, here's this big, important person in my eyes,

"but we share a mutual...

you know, a mutual thing."

The bread and butter of what I do

usually doesn't make the news

because the people aren't rich and famous,

but the power differential always exists.

The predator always has

physical and/or psychological control

over the victims,

but rich and famous men somehow use

their fame and fortune

to evade detection.

I was convinced

that I had to remain anonymous.

I had heard that there were threats

against some of the accusers before,

he had hired people to intimidate them,

and I couldn't deal with any of that.

My therapist says that certain memories come back

if you go to the place where the trauma occurred.

It seemed a lot bigger back then.

But I can see myself standing there at 19...

And waiting for the maid to answer the door.

And feeling pretty overwhelmed.

You know, that moment where she shut the door...

And that feeling of being trapped.

It's ironic that he had so many security cameras

as if he was going to be hurt or threatened by someone,

when he was the monster.

It was everyone else that needed to be protected.

The more stories that I heard about these women,

by listening to them...

this is helping me tremendously

'cause now, I don't feel like I'm the only one, you know?

And slowly but surely, then became more comfortable

with the idea of being...

you know, going public with my story

in the hopes of helping someone, you know,

even one person.

And that became a very clear purpose

in my mind.

Um, it makes me sick to my stomach

that there's perpetrators out there

that obviously helped him in many ways

for a very long time, and they're still out there

with no punishment.

She said she had sex with you three times.

No.

- No to all of it? - All of it.

Prince Andrew of the royal family

had a very close relationship to Epstein,

and he knows some crucial information

to help bring other people down,

people that need to face justice.

Good morning.

- Through my lawyer, - Lisa Bloom,

I have filed a lawsuit against the Epstein estate

demanding justice.

We have also insisted

that Epstein's longtime friend Prince Andrew cooperate

with law enforcement.

Of all people, you had the power to influence

and to say something, yet you didn't.

I can't help but think I could've been spared,

and potentially hundreds of other children

and young women.

The fact that he is not cooperating with the FBI

is really infuriating.

Why? Why?

Why wouldn't you?

I want to be hopeful, and I want to be optimistic,

but I think historically, you know,

we've seen so many people in positions of power

that have gotten away with things

and not held accountable.

So I'm not sure that anything's gonna change,

but it's worth a try.

We need to get to the bottom

of everybody who was involved with that,

starting with Ghislaine Maxwell,

and I won't stop fighting, I will never be silenced

until these people are brought to justice.

In Epstein's absence,

I think Ghislaine is the number one target.

She is absolutely central to this operation.

She was the lieutenant.

She saw everything that went on for decades.

There's a lot of unanswered questions

about Ghislaine's motivation,

but I think Ghislaine wanted to make him happy.

I mean, I don't think it's a leap

to sort of see parallels

between her making her father happy

and making Epstein happy.

- Her father was - Robert Maxwell,

the famous press baron

who had a reputation

as kind of a swashbuckling rogue.

Her father was a ruthless, tyrannical bully.

Ghislaine was more of a friend to him.

People said they had

an unusually close relationship.

The behaviors she learned from him

were to be manipulative, controlling, entitled,

and what happened next shaped Ghislaine's life.

After a night aboard the fateful yacht

her father named after her,

Ghislaine Maxwell appeared to read a statement

on behalf of the family.

I want to take this opportunity

to thank all the many hundreds of people...

Who have sent messages of support

to us

at this very, very sad time.

Thank you.

After Maxwell died, it turned out

that his company was in serious financial problems,

and not only that,

he'd been looting the pension funds

to basically keep the business afloat.

At the time, it was the biggest fraud of its kind

in the country.

So under this huge cloud, Ghislaine moves to America.

She needed someone to keep her in the lifestyle

she was accustomed to,

and that ultimately then led to Jeffrey Epstein.

She was a daughter of a very powerful man,

so that opened a lot of doors for her, obviously.

When Jeffrey and Ghislaine met,

she had the contacts, he had the money.

It was kind of a perfect union.

They gave each other something that the other one didn't have.

- I remember - Ghislaine telling me

that Jeffrey had grown up in Brooklyn

and was from a poor background

and he had made this astonishing success.

No one could ever figure out

quite where the money came from.

He had this kind of persona

of almost, like, a James Bond villain.

Jeffrey cultivated this image

of a international man of mystery

and Ghislaine as his accomplice

and chief promoter.

When I saw them together,

they looked super happy and in love.

Didn't seem there was any other people

in the relationship at all.

People were puzzled

by the relationship between Ghislaine and Jeffrey

because the rumors were,

Ghislaine was scouring New York,

finding younger girls

to go on dates with Jeffrey.

At the time, it seemed sort of...

a bit naughty.

A friend of mine was at a party,

and Ghislaine said, "Oh, my God, who's that?",

and was looking at this pretty, younger,

sort of teenage girl,

and she said, "Do you know her?"

My friend said, "Yeah. She's called Paris Hilton."

And Ghislaine said...

"God, she'd be perfect for Jeffrey.

Could you introduce us?"

Ghislaine was an entrée

for Jeffrey Epstein to meet some of these women.

So it may have been

a mutually parasitic relationship.

I don't know.

I don't think that there's any evidence

that Jeffrey Epstein was capable

of having any deep feelings for anybody,

but that doesn't mean that he doesn't know

a good exchange relationship when he finds one.

Ghislaine was very comfortable

with going out and recruiting girls.

She did it smashingly well,

particularly in those early years.

I met Jeffrey through Ghislaine.

I was around 18, 19 years old.

I was working as a model at the time,

and I was going to New York a lot.

She had said to me,

"Oh, you know, Jeffrey has a couple of apartments,

"and if you ever wanna stay, like, just let me know,

"and I can arrange it.

"I'll have my driver pick you up

and everything organized."

You know, what 18-, 19-year old doesn't jump onto that offer?

A lot of the models would be housed

at an apartment on the Upper East Side

that was owned by Epstein's brother, Mark.

In Epstein's black book, it was actually referred to

as "apartment for models."

It gave him another layer of privacy.

It meant that there was no one to ask awkward questions

when young girls were coming and going,

models were coming and going.

At the apartment building,

I didn't feel that comfortable there from the beginning,

and I couldn't pinpoint what it was.

Just didn't feel right.

I didn't feel secure in there,

like someone was listening in,

like I was being watched,

to the point where I actually moved out

because of that reason.

But I stayed in touch with Ghislaine afterwards.

You know, I probably met some of these girls

without realizing how lucky I'd been, you know,

that I completely got away with it

and didn't have to go through any of that abuse.

As the women started coming forward,

I just couldn't believe

how many young women there were.

I could... I believe their stories

because it was very similar

to a lot of my friends' stories,

and they...

you could tell they were telling the truth.

There were a lot of women coming forward,

but there were so many more that didn't wanna talk,

because it's not an easy thing to talk about,

and we've already learned

when you go up against powerful people,

a lot of people don't believe you.

For someone to be able to speak out

to someone with that kind of money and power

is really hard,

'cause they can just literally destroy your whole family

if you say something against him.

I think I was maybe saved from this

because I already was,

like, a public name in England.

I could've run to a newspaper easily.

Like, these newspapers wouldn't have believed

these other girls,

but if I'd done it, they would've.

Within four, five years

of them meeting for the first time,

Ghislaine and Epstein working together

as one unit to recruit and traffic girls

is a pretty solidly-oiled machine.

We don't know who came up with the idea for doing this.

To stay by someone's side for so long,

I think you're looking at a really kind of basic

and simple urge.

She wanted his approval,

and if it took doing this to kinda keep him happy,

then that's what she would do.

She was power-hungry,

you know, 'cause she had to be subservient to Jeffrey.

Jeffrey was like her new daddy.

Once, in 2002,

I was on the island with them alone,

and Ghislaine says, "I really wanna talk to you.

Me and Jeffrey have something that we wanna ask you."

And they asked me to...

carry a baby for them,

and...

I was 19, I was naive,

but I already knew in my heart of hearts that...

I would... I could never.

I would never and I could never give these people a baby.

So sordid,

so... so monstrous,

and so different

from the Ghislaine we thought we knew.

I had hopes when Epstein got arrested

that Ghislaine would be next.

I started to lose faith

because it's nearly a year

since Epstein's incarceration and death.

You know, there was always that looming thought

of, "She probably won't get arrested,"

but there was that hope,

and hope is a very strong thing.

Some major breaking news just into our newsroom.

Ghislaine Maxwell is in federal custody.

At 8:30 this morning, she was arrested

in Bradford, New Hampshire.

Well, Ghislaine was arrested this morning in New Hampshire,

and right now,

there's a press conference going on

with the announcement of the charges,

and the indictment is being released.

- Thanks, man. - Thank you very much.

Today, we announce charges against Ghislaine Maxwell

for helping Jeffrey Epstein

sexually exploit and abuse

multiple minor girls

from the period of 1994

through 1997.

In some cases,

Maxwell participated in the abuse herself.

Maxwell slithered away

to a gorgeous property in New Hampshire,

continuing to live a life of privilege

while her victims live with the trauma

inflicted upon them years ago.

This is a huge day for this story

and a huge day for the victims.

It was beginning to feel like there was gonna be no justice,

there was, you know, no criminal case,

and that it was just gonna go away like it did before.

Surprised and very happy for the victims,

because I think the evidence against Ghislaine is...

it's overwhelming.

It's 11:07 p.m.

Sigrid calls me, and she's like,

"You're not gonna believe this.

Maxwell has been arrested."

It was a happier moment for me

than even when Epstein was arrested.

We both just cried together.

I will tell you, for her and this journey,

she has risked so much

to come forward and be brave over the last several years

and tell her story,

and Ghislaine was walking the streets unpunished.

- What's fascinating is what - Ghislaine is going to say,

if she's gonna talk, and if she does talk,

whether she will start talking

about the other alleged conspirators

and people of great power and influence.

Well, I think she holds the answers

to a lot of these questions, you know,

about what went on,

and of course she's gonna speak.

If she's gonna go to jail,

then she's gonna want people to go down.

There were a lot of other coconspirators

involved in the sex trafficking scheme,

people of immense power that were involved,

and these coconspirators, at this point, in my view,

should be very nervous.

Got no idea if Ghislaine's been cooperating in any level.

there's no honor among thieves.

If she can save herself by ratting out other people,

then I think she will.

- It's a catch-22. - It's a double-edged sword.

Ghislaine was the mastermind.

We need her to talk,

but she doesn't deserve a plea deal.

I'm wondering, do you feel

that she's going to turn in powerful men?

How do you see that working out?

I don't know.

I haven't really been following it too much.

I just wish her well, frankly.

I've met her numerous times over the years,

especially since I lived in Palm Beach

and I guess they lived in Palm Beach,

but I wish her well.

And I'm gonna be one of the first visitors in jail,

and I'm gonna sit across the glass,

and I'm gonna say, "How does it feel

"to be on the other side?

"How does it feel to have your freedom

"taken away from you?

How does it feel to be scared?"

This announcement of Ghislaine being arrested,

it just seems so long overdue.

The mystery of Ghislaine's whereabouts...

it's finally solved.

This whole case has been about power and privilege

and how that power and privilege and wealth

can overcome so many things.

It was very difficult for the women that I represent

to know that she had been able to continue to live

that high-flying lifestyle

while they know she's guilty of these crimes.

She's gonna face the music.

She's someone who's rode her luck

her whole life,

and now it's run out.

A federal judge today denied bail for Ghislaine Maxwell,

the former girlfriend of Jeffrey Epstein

who was accused of sex trafficking young women

for him. Maxwell's defense team

proposed a $5 million bond.

They said she was an innocent woman

who would surrender her travel documents

and be subject to GPS tracking,

but the judge said

that she had substantial international ties

and extraordinary financial resources

that prevented her from granting that.

I sat and listened to the entire bail hearing.

I was certainly shocked

at some of the things that they were requesting,

such as, "She will pay

"for her luxury Manhattan hotel suite

for awaiting trial."

To me, that just went to show

the narcissistic mindset.

She thought she was going to evade

the entire prosecution.

I really think that she thought she was going to get bail

and live happily ever after in a beautiful home

in the woods.

The trial is set for July of next year.

Maxwell faces up to 35 years in prison.

I don't know what pathology led her

to behave in the way that she did,

whether she's a sociopath

or whether she's been manipulated

into this position,

but I think that she needs to be viewed

separately from Jeffrey Epstein.

To the extent that she ever sexually assaulted somebody,

to the extent that she engaged

in recruiting underage girls for prostitution,

she should be charged for that,

but this isn't Bonnie and Clyde.

I don't think that they are equally culpable.

No one is responsible for Jeffrey Epstein's behavior

except for Jeffrey Epstein.

There was a extraordinary back-and-forth he had

with a "New York Post" reporter, I think, in 2011.

Epstein said something like, "I'm not a predator.

"I'm an offender.

"It's the difference between a murderer

and someone stealing a bagel."

And that gives you an insight into how he sees himself.

He's not a sex predator. He's not a pedophile.

He's an "offender."

Jeffrey Epstein was irritated,

to say the least,

about the way in which I was prosecuting him.

I wanted to meet with him

so that I could learn more about him

and understand just how manipulative he was,

how so many people fell into his trap.

He's very charismatic.

Unapologetic about his lifestyle.

He would say to me,

"These people already had bad lives.

"I let 'em into my life. I was nice to them.

"I listened to what their life stories were.

"I talked to them, you know?

"I paid them every single time.

"And yeah, you and I, Brad, have a fundamental disagreement

"as to what the age of consent is,

"but come on.

"You're not so intellectually stupid

"that you buy into that philosophy.

"I, Jeffrey Epstein, understand

"what's right and wrong,

"and other intellectuals do too

"and I consider you, Brad, an intellectual,

"so don't get brainwashed

by the black and white letter of the law."

He can justify his behavior because we all know

that these societal norms are imposed upon us

by, you know, morons.

Well, that's not the truth.

The truth is that there are societal norms

that prevent this

for a good, solid reason:

that sexual assault has psychological consequences

and could very well have a lasting impact.

Jeffrey had that charismatic persona,

where Ghislaine had this ability to connect to you

on this real emotional level.

Being a woman and having been betrayed

by another woman so deeply,

there's truly an element of pure cruelty.

Was she more cruel than he was?

I don't know.

The UN is voting on what is sustainable...

She certainly had so much opportunity

to be a positive influence on so many different people,

and she chose a path of darkness.

I knew Ghislaine Maxwell for many years.

She was actually... used to be a very close friend,

and I knew Epstein through her,

so I've been fascinated by this case.

I still have some close friends

who are old friends of Ghislaine,

and from their point of view,

Ghislaine is somehow a victim in all this,

that her father died, Jeffrey Epstein comes along,

he has money and power,

and that...

Ghislaine had no real sense

of the extent of his depravity,

but that point of view is hard to square

with the horrendous stuff

we've seen in these affidavits

of these poor girls being subjected to having sex

with Jeffrey and Ghislaine.

It's hard to think of Ghislaine

as a sort of hapless, sad victim

because those details are so shocking.

Ghislaine Maxwell has to live

with her own self.

She has to look at herself in the mirror,

and I've often wondered,

does she even think she did anything wrong?

She was willing to dirty her hands for this man.

I don't think she has any remorse about what she did.

I hope she spends every last day of her life

in an orange jumpsuit.

I hope she has to really think about what she...

what she did.

Bail denied.

Ghislaine Maxwell will have to wait for her trial

behind bars.

One accuser told the judge,

"Maxwell enjoyed drawing her victims in

with perceived caring."

- I think that the only thing - I would ask

is just why,

as a woman and as a sister,

why you could allow all this to happen.

Some of these girls were, like, 14 years old.

It's disgusting.

There's no punishment that's gonna make this right.

Trauma is not fun,

and every day is unpredictable.

You don't know.

One day, it can be okay,

and the next day, it's just brutal.

But you don't have to do this alone.

I think that's the main thing.

I have these great relationships

with these women that I've met through this,

and it's put me on a journey for self-healing.

It's a whole new life for me in a lot of ways,

but I'm still...

in the trenches of this,

and it's very painful,

and it's hard as hell.

Just all the that happened here.

All the...

all the women's lives that he screwed up.

It doesn't make a difference to me

that the girls in the 20s

who were manipulated in this way,

who agreed to it...

you know, they may feel even worse

because they also hold on to this belief of,

"Oh, my God, I'm older.

I should have known better."

You can only mature in your ego defenses

if you are raised in an environment

that allows for that to happen,

and many people are not.

Society at large doesn't have an understanding

of how frequently abuse occurs.

Because everybody has secrets that they keep

in the back of the closet, under the shoebox,

next to the mousetrap.

So when they grapple with it as a teenager

or they grapple with it in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s,

they still don't have any more understanding

than they did when the original trauma took place.

And they then will blame themselves even more

because why is this repeatedly happening to them?

I hadn't really dealt with it as a child,

so I didn't know

how to deal with it as an adult.

I had no tools.

Perpetrators can kind of sniff that vulnerability out.

Children need to be educated, and...

they need to be able to vocalize this

when it is happening,

because I think children just don't know how,

and it's very shameful.

It shouldn't have to be.

I'm in the midst of writing a book.

It's very scary

because it's gonna be my true story,

and I was afraid of judgment,

you know, shame,

but I knew it was something that I had to do

because I saw what went on in my life, and I just...

I just don't want that to happen to children.

So I had to come forward with my story,

as painful and shameful as it is.

My childhood was stolen from me.

It doesn't matter if you're rich or you're poor.

Children are at danger every day.

And this is why I will not stop talking,

and this is why

my charity is called Victims Refuse Silence,

because it needs to be said.

I am working alongside Virginia

to help heal

those that have suffered sexual abuse,

but also to move forward with education

in the prevention

so that these things don't happen

in the first place.

It's been so hard for so many of these victims

of Jeffrey Epstein to come forward,

and many of them have because of each other

and because of the women who started this movement.

This is just the beginning.

I wanna thank and commend the brave women

who were willing to come forward

and tell us what happened to them,

without whom these charges could not have been brought.

I'm holding the indictment of Ghislaine's arrest.

conspiracy to entice minors

to travel to engage in illegal sex acts.

enticement of a minor

to travel to engage in illegal sex acts.

conspiracy to transport minors

with intent to engage in criminal sexual activity.

transportation of a minor

with intent to engage in criminal sexual activity.

perjury.

perjury.

This page should be a folder of charges.

If you look at the indictment,

you'll see two perjury charges

that reference depositions that were taken

in the Virginia Giuffre versus Maxwell.

The government is saying Ghislaine committed perjury

during that deposition.

Many abuse victims don't come to terms

with their abuse until many, many years later,

and even then, they struggle with going public

with what has happened to them.

And unfortunately,

the law in the U.S. is very restrictive,

so if you're a young abuse victim,

the time period within which you can bring that claim

for that sexual abuse is a very short window.

We need to allow them time to have that healing

and that moment where they're ready

and then to seek justice at that time.

Our laws have to change in that regard.

It's enough talk.

It's time for action.

And my survivor sisters are ready too.

We really wanna tackle this issue.

We wanna get on the floor of Congress,

and we wanna tell them federally,

laws need to be changed.

- Going forward, - I have gotten the chance

to start to help Courtney a little bit

with standing with victims, to help stop trafficking.

The more that I'm able to help people

and do the right thing

that I couldn't do a long time ago

is very rewarding

and makes all of this coming forward worth it.

Just to know that we were a part

of a monumental movement...

I still can't even grasp the reality of that.

I guess I still don't understand

the depth of how much we did make an impact on the world.

When I found out that this happened

to so many other girls

and I wasn't alone,

that they get me

and they understand that side of me

without me having to explain it...

These women... we share a connection

and a bond that's so deep.

It's just a wonderful feeling.

To be honest with you,

there is so much anger in this case.

I don't have any room for anger anymore.

That's not what I need to hold anymore.

You have to transcend all that

'cause that's the only way you can heal.

It's a horrible thing to have to bond over,

but, you know, the support is tremendous.

Last summer, I was shocked to learn

that some of my family and very close friends

had had similar experiences

in terms of being sexually abused.

And it was kind of a... you know, just, like, a...

a sigh of relief that I can tell someone

'cause she's been through it too,

and also just so sad

that it's so common and so pervasive

and not only that,

but that people don't ever share it.

I wanna send a message to victims out there

that may have yet to have report crimes

that you are not alone,

that you are worthy of being believed,

and that you do have the power and you do have the strength

to push through it.

- No justice. - crowd: No peace.

The silence needs to be broken.

It's okay to feel that shame and that guilt

when you are finally revealing your truth.

And it's important for our story to be told

so that it doesn't just go away.

I mean, it can't just go away.

I think where it starts is that there's no strength

in being quiet.

Your strength is in your voice.

I absolutely refuse, in my mind,

to stay within that victim mentality,

victim box.

Being a survivor,

I feel like I have a whole lot of fight

and will within me,

and I'm never going to stop trying to be better

and trying to fight harder.

I owe it to myself, I owe it to my kids,

and I owe it to the world.