Original subtitles

Let's upload it.

-Don't bring it here. -Huh?

-No beverages in the edit. -I'll be really careful.

We need to put in our company's name.

I suck at names.

-Better F**ks Ltd. -It has to be elegant.

And maybe in English.

Let's Sex Porno Videos Films?

How about a goddess?

-Venus? The goddess of sex and love. -Yes, yes!

-Venus Films. -Wait. It needs something more.

-Viva Venus Films. -All right!

-That's good. -The domain is free.

-Let's hope people buy it. -They will.

Who wouldn't want to see this?

-You mean, Sofia? -The whole film!

Let's upload it.

This is so good...

I've never seen or done anything like this.

For the first time, the focus is on the woman's pleasure.

This is incredibly...

-Tell me it's not on my laptop. -It's not.

There are tops in that drawer. I'll throw your shirt in the wash.

Do you have a basic T-shirt?

No, I don't.

I might have a top.

-Okay. -Seriously?

I got it from a fair.

-Do you want it? -Such a versatile T-shirt?

No, the corset.

It's not leather, even though it looks like it.

It's too small for me. And...

These are unused. And they work. I promise.

Sari Nieminen speaking.

(Strange way to answer.)

You have my number. -(I'm in a meeting.)

You published a film.

(Yep.)

-We have to meet. -(Oh.)

We'll make a couple of films first. I'll see you in a couple of hours.

Come on, start humping.

Raita wants to see me.

-I bet she wants to hire you. -No.

She might've seen our film and what you can do.

I wonder how many others have seen it.

Check.

Okay.

-11 downloads. -11?

We'll get more.d We have to forget for a moment...

That we uploaded our first film online,

and it better start making money fast.

That's right.

Hello?

Hi!

Wow.

I was supposed to seduce you.

Okay.

You're right. I haven't been in the mood lately.

I decided to try something completely new.

-Then I started to feel ridiculous. -You look hot.

-I look like Xena. -Xena is really hot.

Xena is having a hard time getting in the mood.

Wait...

I think I know what'll turn you on.

A low angle never hurt nobody.

Good job, me.

Ville?

Ville?

I'm sure your juices are flowing like the Niagara.

What?

I saw the photos.

The penis photos on your phone.

Hey, everything's okay. You probably have a fixation.

You probably have a penis fetish, and that's okay.

It's the best fetish.

-I can send you d**k pics. -Ville.

I'll take them at home, work or when I go get lunch.

-Ville. -In the toilet of the Thai place.

Ville. I don't have a penis fetish.

-Yes. -What?

What...

What are the photos on your phone?

Well...

-Lucas sent them. -What?

People send him d**k pics on Grindr, and he forwards them to me.

Why?

I don't know. It's his sick humour.

But you answered them. 'Big, gigantic, delicious' or something.

-You've checked my phone. -One night they just kept coming.

I tried to wake you up.

-He's your brother! -Yes, he is.

Yuck. Totally sick.

This is probably the worst seduction ever.

This is artificial leather and f**king hot.

-I mean, it makes me sweat. -Take it off.

Yeah.

Slowly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

I'm coming soon!

Okay, let's shoot the third movie of the day.

Henkka, put on the fireman's outfit.

Don't zip it up. We want to save time.

Come in.

Hi, Sarppa. Take a seat, please.

Great film.

Thank you.

It's very...

How should I say...

Sensual.

I'm happy to hear that. We wanted...

Keke has a non-competition clause.

He works exclusively for me.

What do you want?

Delete your sensual film from the Internet,

or I'll take you to court and take your last penny.

-(Yep.) -Keke has a non-competition clause.

(Meaning?)

We have to delete our film online.

What the f**k? Sari, I'm so excited about this!

We might have only 530 downloads,

but we've gotten a ton of e-mails with feedback.

(Sari, people love this film.)

(We've also gotten requests and ideas for new films.)

(This older lesbian couple wrote that they're into sensual play.)

They suggested we meet to discuss making a film.

Something in what we did really touched people!

Linnea.

(Do you know what?)

We're not giving up.

We have an audience. We'll make another film.

(Ask the lesbian couple when they can meet us.)

-Okay. Do we have enough money? -(We have 530 mutiply 5 euros.)

-Start looking for a cameraman. -Check.

Sari, have you rated all the penises?

Yes, and there aren't enough new ones. I need money.

When nothing is enough. Let's see.

Why do you want to work as a cameraman for us?

I know my work is good when I have at least a semi-hard-on.

Right.

Why I want to shoot porn? It's on the borderline

of documentary narration and exploitation.

-Raw and real. -I agree.

My triggers are nudity and bright lights.

I'm a multitasker. With one hand, I operate the camera

and with the other...

Okay.

I'd like to shoot a film about an old man with a young woman.

-The woman has the hots for the man. -Thank you.

-She has to have his big... -Thank you.

-Role play? -Sure.

-Sweaty working conditions? -Yes.

Commission pay? The more you give, the bigger the pay.

Perfect!

Meow.

Chicken Surprise for little kitties. Gentle on their tummies.

Meow! Would you like a sample of cat food...

F**k.

It's great that we finally get to meet you, Eliel.

Thank you, Ismo. Likewise. It's lovely to meet you all.

Lucas has brought so much love into my life.

Baa!

Roast lamb.

Let's go to the bathroom, and I'll give you some more love.

I'm sorry. Lucas is impossible.

We have this new relationship energy.

Sweet.

-How long have you been together? -7 years.

Goals, right?

Sorry for being this blunt, but you 2 aren't our goals.

Why not?

No offense, but where's the passion?

Le passion.

Even though we're not all over each other here,

we have passion.

-Oh, you have passion? -Yes.

I want to believe!

We f**ked so hard yesterday that Ville has a burn in his 's d**k!

Welcome to the family, Eliel.

-Can we talk? -Of course.

About the d**k pics.

Excuse me, what?

The pics on Linnea's phone. The ones you sent her.

Oh, right. Yeah. Them. Yes, I sent them.

Yeah, I was drugged.

-I mean, I drugged myself. -Yeah.

-That was a rough week. -It was this week.

-It was? -Yes.

Director's life.

I was just confused

because I didn't know they were from you, you know.

Yeah.

Why is your name S on Linnea's phone?

Lucas...My name ends with an S.

-Hey. I get it, bro. No more d**ks. -Great.

-And it's true. -What?

I have a burn in my d**k.

Cat food from Yummy Paw!

Gentle on kitties' tummies.

Woof woof. Yummy Bite from Yummy Bark.

-Hey! Who are you? -Mr Doggy.

Get the hell out. You're making me lose pay.

-I'm just doing my job, too. -Sorry. I've had a s**tty day.

'The more you give, the bigger the pay.' Stressful.

We have different clienteles. Together we'll draw more attention.

What the hell?

People either have a cat or dog, so...

What the hell?

Shh! I'm trying to listen.

-What the f**k? -Not cat people.

Shut up.

-I can't believe it. -Where are you going?

-We can't go to the garage! -Yeah, yeah.

-Cat! -I'll be back.

I forgot one thing.

Olavi, f**k. How many women are you seeing?

-Your boyfriend or an ex? -Definitely ex!

No way!

So f**king ex.

-Well, well, Linnea. -Lucas Solakallio himself.

All the books about filmmaking were written by men.

Sidney Lumet, David Mamet, Akira Kurosawa.

Speaking of men, I was told I sent you d**k pics.

Sorry. It was a white lie.

-I'm surprised you're cheating. -What?

It's because you have no 'le passion'.

-I'm not cheating. -What is it then?

-It has to do with my work. -You're not working.

You've been looking for your path for the past 3 years.

-I'm directing. -Some cringey art project?

Tell me no more. I'll get a migraine.

I'm directing porn. I just did my first feminist erotic film.

-Oh. -Yes. And I got paid for it.

-You? -I.

Cool. Really cool.

-Thank you. -Where can I watch it?

We had to delete it

because our cameraman had a non-competition clause.

We need a cameraman.

I know how to shoot.

You?

We've been together for almost 20 years.

We've done sensual play for over 10 years.

Research shows that couples who try new things stay together.

You're somehow so absolutely gorgeous.

And what's the word...

No, no, no...

-Are you sure about this location? -Yes.

-Yes. -Can we paint that wall?

2 hours before we shoot?

Okay. We'll do normcore then.

Yep.

You know what you like. I'll watch you from over there.

I have some ideas, but I'll let you take the lead.

-Sounds good. -Good.

All right. Any questions?

Let's make an amazing film. Enjoy!

'Whip of Love', take one.

Action.

I've never seen anything like this.

-Thank you. Cut! -What?

I have an idea. Let's switch to handheld camera.

-I have a storyboard here. -Isn't it a bore?

A handheld camera would be better for the suspense.

-Let's try it. -Sure.

-Let's take a 5-minute break. -Okay. 5 minutes.

Catering, please bring me a banana.

-Who's directing this film? -Me.

-It doesn't look like it. -Hey, thanks.

-Get your brother under control. -He'll get mad and leave.

This isn't an art school. This is work, and I need money.

I have to pay those people, or they won't work for me again.

I'll lose my home, everything. Find a way.

-Lucas. -Yeah?

Come here.

Well?

Do you remember my 15th birthday when you imitated my teacher?

-Everybody laughed. -Yes?

You're the star in every room. You succeed in everything.

True. I don't know how to compliment you now.

But you're also f**king annoying. This is my thing.

I'm responsible, so I make the decisions.

Wow.

Got it.

It was the first birthday after Mum died.

I tried to cheer you up.

We'll continue in 3 minutes.

Keke. What are you doing here?

I'm f**king sorry about the non-competition clause.

It happens.

-We're shooting a new film. -Oh.

Do you have a new cameraman? Is he good?

He's a temporary solution.

Whew. Good. You scared the s**t out of me.

-I quit. -Seriously?

-I'll come work for you. -Really?

I've always hated that old hag, Raita.

-Full time, 4,600 euros a month. -There's no way I can pay that.

I can start on Monday.

I'm so happy to be working for you.

-Keke. -Thank you!

Thank you. That was the last shot of the day.

Damn, you were amazing. Thank you.

You saved me. Thank you.

Anytime.

You were good.

-One thing. -What?

-You know I can't lie. -Do I?

I'm extremely honest. In that sense, noble.

You have to tell Ville.

Either you tell him or I will. Bye, Linnea!

-Neptune has 9 moons. -Yes.

-I thought it had 8. -Oh.

Bye, honey. See you soon.

-In English? -Bye bye, baby. I love you.

I love you, too. See you soon.

Hi, honey.

Sari. Hi. Lovely to see you.

-Come in for a cup of tea. -I don't have time.

-Isn't Olavi home? -He has an evening shift. Again.

Well, Onni can keep me company if he's not doing homework.

-Tell him to. -Yeah.

-Bye. -Ciao!

(This is Olavi. I must be on the road again. Please leave a message.)

Hi. It's me. I just dropped Onni off, but you weren't home.

Where the f**k are you? Call me immediately.

F**k. This is not happening!