Original subtitles

Uh, the guy Following us, His name’s vic.

He’s a new First year.We’ve already met. No, we haven’t. Uh, don’t you remember The hurricane benefit?

What are you, Retarded?

Winds over 200 miles an hour.

A lot of suffering. He’s always lying.

Why are you Always lying?

All right, Smart ass.

It’s initiation time.

Right, sam? Let’s haze him.

All right, So what should we Make him do?

Fake a seizure? Nah.

No, somebody’ll Stick a pencil In his mouth.

Yeah. It won’t End well.

Uh...

Fake words. Mmm! I like it.

I like it. All right. We’re Going to play

A hot little game Of makie-upi-o’s.

So, give us A word, new fish.

Um, newfish.

No. A made-up Word,

Not something I just said.

Uh, grantatious.

Ooh. I like it.

All right, so Here’s the game.

You got to go In there and make Those clients

Say the word "Grantatious".

And then You’re in. Gentlemen,

Od morning.

Good to see You again.

So, we’ve reviewed Your file

And actually our New associate, vic,

Has something he’d Like to say about it.

Vic, tell them What you think.

I think that The deal

Is extremely Grantatious.

How do you feel About it? Be honest.

I... Uh...

Don’t you feel That it’s...

Grantatious?

What in god’s name Are you saying?

I’m talking About the deal!

And for my money, It’s very grantatious.

What the fuck are You talking about?

Do me a favour And just say the Word "Grantatious".

Grantatious.

I’m in. Very nice.

Lunch? Yeah.

We’ll send you An invoice.

Thank you.

One, two, three, four!

♪ all hail The working man ♪

♪ he’s got the world In his hand ♪

♪ all hail The working man ♪

♪ the work is never done

♪ way-oh, way-oh-oh

♪ way-oh, way-oh-ho

Huh!

♪ I am the working man

♪ through the night Till the morning sun ♪

♪ I am the working man

♪ the work is never done

♪ way-oh, way-oh-oh Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! ♪ way-oh-way

♪ pray for The working man ♪

♪ always there With a helping hand ♪

♪ pray for The working man ♪

♪ the work is never done

♪ all hail The working man ♪

♪ another day Has just begun ♪

♪ all hail The working man ♪

♪ it’s never friggin’ done

Why am I laughing?

Hey, clarky!

Are you ready For this?

I’m at work at 7:00 a.M. On a saturday.

I should be kicking Your sister out of My bed right about now.

Come on. You’re Going to have A good time.

You had a good Time last year.

No, I didn’t Have a good time.I had alcohol.

And this year, I’ve made similar Arrangements.Woman: Here you are, sir. A variety pack for your Weekend escapade, sir.

Heavy on the vodka. Wait a second,

You made millie Come to work On a saturday

Just to bring You booze?

Her sister’s A stewardess.Got me these special. Yes, sir. And there is going To be one unhappy Red-eye to calgary.

Good work, Millie.Now just, uh, Put my bag on The bus, then You can go home.

Thank you, sir. You’re welcome.

Have a good Retreat, sir.

Yes. And have A good, uh...

Whatever-the-hell You do.

Well, my Dressage lessons... Oh, wow,

What a shock. More horse stuff.

Here, let’s get you To the elevator.

Bye, millie.

Never really been on One of these before.

Really? Actually, I’ve Been on three.

Well, either way, You stick with me.

I’m the life Of these things.

You know what They call me?

Waffle face. Waffle face?

They call me The glue.

What the hell’s Waffle face?

Sorry. I was Thinking of Somebody else.

Listen up, folks. Listen up.

In three hours, We’ll be in collingwood.

You’ll have enough Time to check in

And then get changed For the luau.

Fucking retreats.

"Hey! We spend every Waking hour together,

Why not an entire Weekend, huh?

We can do Trust exercises."

"Yeah! I’ll put The blindfold on

And you can Catch me!"

Was that you doing Two characters Or was your first Character doing a Character of his own?

Ooh. Lady’s got A pretty big bag.

Not as big As mine.

Just kidding. Just kidding.

It’s small.

Where do you Think we’re going,

The gaza strip? Gaza strip.

Been there, done that.

$10 lap dances.

Mmm mmm...

Ugh.

This might be the first Time I actually enjoy One of these things.

Hunting season started Four days ago.

I’m going to bag Me a white tail.

Ooh! Boy,

You can take The girl out Of the bush,

But you can’t Take the, um...

Uh, I don’t know.

Something About pubes.

Okay, listen guys,

The only way We’re going to Survive this weekend

Is if we Stick together.

What, should we Hold hands and pray?

No, she’s right.

We should sit on The bus together.

Yes. Hey, I never argue

With anyone carrying Loaded weapons.

Good. Because Last year I was Stuck next to murray

And every time He shifted, he smelled

Like old spice And kitty litter. Mmm.

All right, everybody, Retreat rules.

Hand over Your cell phones.

Give your tumours A rest until tomorrow.

And the other one.

Don’t fuck with me.

Thank you.

Company...

Now hear this!

All aboard The fun bus.

And if I don’t See you smiling...

You’ll be on Latrine duty.

Oh, latrine duty.

Dude, that’s So money!

Don’t leave me Hanging, bro.

Yeah!

We got to Stick together This weekend.

God...

Oh, oh, oh.

Look out! Okay, clark,

Pull my finger.

New guy, Pull this shit.I don’t think The new guy Should be pulling Someone’s finger.

Why not? I want to earn That right.

I don’t want it Handed to me.

Life’s not Like that. Your loss.Mr. Fagen, you Want to pull this? General patton once asked Me to pull his finger.

That was an honour.

This, not so much.

Look, why don’t You just fart?

No. No, but The finger. It’s funny.

Maybe when You’re seven.

No, no, no. It’s always funny.

Guaranteed laughs, All ages, all the time.Okay, you know What, murray? I’ll pull your Fucking finger. Okay.

Just like you Said, murray,

Guaranteed laughs.

Oh boy.

Aren’t you Coming, big guy?

That one kind of Got away from me A little bit there.

Oh, wow. I’m sorry to Hear that.

I’m just going To go back upstairs.

Yeah?

Hey, nice bag.

Oh, this sucks.

Why are we using A school bus?

’cause fagen thought The ad said "Cool bus".

Ugh!

You know how to Drive one of these?

I drove c.C.R. Around

On their "Proud mary" tour.

I gave john fogerty The clap.

Just saying.

Yeah!

Hey, hey, hey, Hey hey, hey!

I thought We were all Sticking together.

Well, there’s Nowhere else to sit.

Sam, be a gentleman And give her your seat.I don’t want to Give her my seat. Yeah, come on. I want to sit at the Back with the boys.

Fuck the both Of you.

Oh...

We love you too.

See you At the luau.

Hey. Hmm? "Mele Kalikimaka".

Uh, you guys Always like this?Nah, nah. Everybody acts like They’re in high school On these things.

Clark was a... Lush

And robin was raised In bear country. Yeah.

Uh, what were You like in High school?

Me? Well, I don’t want To brag but I was...

Out, boy! That’s my spot.

But, sir, I was here first.

No girls in the Back of the bus.

Is this seat taken?

Too late, Fair-weather fuckwad.

You’re not Sitting here. Okay.

Hey, sammy. Sammy.

You get to navigate.Oh, no. No, no, no, sir. You don’t want me To navigate.

Aw, suck it up, Dough boy.

First, I don’t get to sit At the back of the bus,

Now I’ve got to navigate.

Good.

Guess what time I go to bed.

Hmm. 11:30.

Wrong. Ooh.

Hmm...

So, where to, Magellan?

Okay, you go Up this, uh...

Thick black line For about an inch

Until you get to These little red Squiggly bits. Oh, god.

Hey!

Hey!

Oh, I would so Like to hit you Right now.

Yeah, baby.

It’s hammer time.

Jesus christ.

Uh, uh, uh!

Just kidding. Just kidding.

Hey, is this Seat taken?

Oh, I need to change My shirt already.

So how many cats Do you have?

Six.

How’d you know?

Lucky guess.

You know what Covers up the smell Of cat pee?

Old spice.

No, it doesn’t.

♪ I’m goin’ up To the country ♪

♪ baby, don’t You wanna go? ♪

♪ I’m goin’ up To the country ♪

♪ baby, don’t You wanna go? ♪

♪ I’m goin’ Someplace where... ♪sam: So what? I got us lost. Big deal. People get lost.

It’s not the end Of the world.Okay. Well, Maybe if you Sat with me Like you promised, None of this would Have happened.

Okay. There were no Seats back there.You saw. Okay, quit whining. I just had murray Drooling on me For two hours.

And then I chipped A nail punching him In the throat.

I need a volunteer. Oh, I’ll do it. I got to take a dump

And I need someone To hold my pants.

Oh...

No matter how Hard I try,

I can never predict What that man’s Going to say next.

Sand? Yeah.

Come with me.

I need a pro.

He just called me sand.

See you later, Ass wipe.

Just kidding. Just kidding.

Just joking.

Hey, I’d like to Introduce myself.

My name is william.

I... I thought It was vic.Yeah, it is. So, why did you call Yourself william?

I guess that’s A real weird thing To do, now, isn’t it?

Yeah.

Man, you need To get laid.

Or shoot something.

Hey, guys.

Hey. Where’s fagen?

Right, fagen.

Fagen. Yeah.

You know, the guy whose Pants you were holding

While he took a Crap in the woods?

Yeah, I, uh, I lost him. You lost the Namesake of the Firm in the woods?

In his gitch?

No. No.

Uh, he gave me Those too.

I thought it Was "Gotch".

No.

Listen up, Everyone. Listen up.

Now we have to Form a search party

To find The old geezer.

He’s only been gone About, uh, 20 minutes,

So, I’m sure he couldn’t Have gotten very far.

I’ll do it, sir. I’ve taken masters Level orienteering.

So I’m... Save it, pocahontas.

Just find the old fart

And then bring him Back into the bus.

Okay. I’m going to Need a flashlight,

A couple of rescue flares And some rope.

We’re also going to Need some soda water,

A couple of limes and Some cranberry juice.

All right, Robin.

I’m going with you. No.

You stay hereand try not To get lost. Wait a second. What about the whole, Like, we have to Stick together thing?

Oh, sorry, sam.

Survival of The tallest.

Okay, people, It’s hunting season.

Everyone put on Some bright clothing,

Unless you want to End up strapped to The hood of a pickup.

Let’s roll!

Sorry, kid.

He’s going this way.

And he’s probably Moving faster Without his pants.

I know I do.

Pants were invented By the aztecs.

They wore... Yeah, like we Didn’t know that.

Hey, how long we Been out here?

Two hours? Seven?

Oh, suck it up, People.

We’ve only been Searching for 10 minutes.

15.

Oh, yes, thank you, Drunky mcplastered.

Though I am impressed You can still tell time.

Yeah, and I’m not Even wearing a watch.

I just set one of these Little babies down...

And I use it As a sundial.

Right now It is, uh...

It’s approximately, Uh... 3:23.

Yeah, I’m laughing. I Don’t know why, but...

All right. I Think it’s time We turned east.

Fagen’s got a cataract In his left eye,

So his tendency would be To veer to the right.

East?

That’s bullshit. I’m heading west.

And I bet you find Him before I do...

The other way around. Like hell you will.

You don’t even know Which way west is.Sure I do. It’s the opposite Of the way you’re Going to go, stupid.

Okay, fine.

Whoever wants to go With dudley moore Here, be my guest.

For those of you Who want to survive, Come with me.

I got your Back, robin.

Great.

Guys, I will make Your lives a living hell

On the durasonic merger

If you aren’t standing Next to me in five seconds.

One...

Go, team.

Follow me.

Have fun.

Send a postcard!

Well, which way Do you want To go, sport?

Oh, we’re not Going anywhere.

Fuck the search party.

Let’s have A bush party!

Yes!

Hey, you know there’s, Like, 2000 kinds of Mushrooms in ontario?

And most of them Are poisonous.Yeah. Well, This one’s not. I know these things. My neighbour’s A scout master.

You want me To eat it?

Why would you Want to do that?

Try and Impress you.

Oh, you’ve Impressed me Enough already.

Yeah? Well, Watch this.

Hey, I’m going to Impress all of you!

What’s it Taste like?

It tastes Like shit.

They always Taste like shit.

And when the policeman Returned to the phone

He had Chilling news.

He told the woman The calls were coming

From inside the house!

What the fuck are You talking about?

The calls were Coming from inside!

So there were Two phone lines in Her house? Is it...I don’t know. All I know Is that he was in There and he was Going to kill her!

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa!

If he was going To kill her

Why didn’t he Just do it in The first place?

You know, just... Just get in there

And bwa-bwa-bwa!

You know? Why stall with a Stupid phone call?

Well, maybe he wanted To terrorize her.

She’s not even Going to remember Being terrorized.

Her life’s about To be over!

Oh, will you Leave me alone?

I never even saw The fucking movie.

My sister told me The story.

Aw, that’s A shitty story!

It’s the worst ghost story I’ve ever heard!

What the hell! Is There booze in there?

Yeah. You ass!

Oh, vic. Ah...

Ah, let me Tell you, pal,

These are The good times.

Huh? Huh?

Who needs a luau?

Who needs A lu-oww...?

Come on. Come on.

Everybody!

Sir, where the hell Have you been?

I was Standing up there

Watching you For half an hour

And you didn’t Even see me.

Ah... That’s creepy.

Everybody’s out there Looking for you.

Oh, those Poor bastards.

I heard wolves.

Sir, why did You run away?

I was having a crap

And suddenly I hear you Telling me to run.

I asked if You were done.

Well, I wasn’t. Okay.

You want to put Your pants on, sir?

Nah.

Once you’ve Run through Mother nature

With your tackle Swinging free,

There’s no Going back.

Can we compromise on The underwear then?

No deal. Okay.

Hey, hey, hey,

Hey, hey, Did you ever Schmakaldielasha?

Uh, once in College... What?

What? Shh, shh, Shh, shh!

Oh, don’t Tell anyone,

But the stars Are crying.

Ah! Get it away!

Ah! Ah!

He’s fine. Keep moving, people.

Wolves must have Gotten one of Them, stan.

I better get Robin’s gun.

Okay, you know what? I don’t think That’s a good idea.

Ah! It’s just Like 1952 in The old days.

Were you wearing Pants in 1952?

If you’d ever Held a gun,

You wouldn’t be Wanting me to Put my pants on.

Okay. I’ve never Held a gun,

But I’m going to Disagree with you On the pants thing.

Come on. Nah.

Do it. Nah. Nah. I can’t.

Come on, Sure you do!

Okay, look. There.I held it. Okay? Take it back. No. Not till You like it.

Look, I’m Liking it.

Oh, my god, This is awesome!

Ah!

You know what I wish?What? That your shirt Was six inches longer.

And it’s even Cold outside.

You knew that I Was on that bus.

I fell out of my seat And hit my head.

I could be Concussed. Sir!

It was An acthident.

What? Accident. Accident.

Don’t worry. I’ll Have this baby changed Out in no time.

We can still Make the luau.

Damn right, we’re Making the luau.

Yeah! Yeah!Lu-oww! People, come on. Move out of my Way! I’m going to Change that tire.

Out of my Way, missy. No...

Sam. Really... Get out! Out!

Come on, people. So I got us lost.

Big deal.

So I lost fagen. I mean, there he is,

He’s in one piece. I’m in one piece.

So I couldn’t get fagen To put his pants back on.

Maybe he likes clark Better than me.

And so I shot the bus.

Well, that’s Pretty bad, but...

People, who Makes you laugh?Huh? Huh? Who... Who Can turn the world On with a smile?

That’s Mary tyler moore. Vic, shut up!

I’m the glue, people.

Come on. I’m the glue!

He’s jacking that Bus up pretty high.

Oh, yeah.

This isn’t going To end well.

Most things Don’t end well.

I know. Isn’t it great?

Sam!

Wow.

What a retreat.

Now that’s A muffler.

So this is what Homeless people Feel like.

You’re all A bit nuts, Aren’t you?

Who the fuck Are you?

I’m going to fit In really well.

Start walking, Caponelli.

I don’t care how far You have to walk,

You keep walking Until you die

Or you can bring Somebody back here Who can help us.

Oh... Oh... Okay.

Um, look, but no, Just look...

Shush! You have No friends here.

Okay.

Sam! Sam.

Okay, I...

I figured out What you were In high school.

You were a loser.

It’s okay. So was I.

You were?

No. I was Assistant captain of The badminton team.

Oh.

One of us should Go with him.

Damn!

Have fun.

Yeah...

I’m going to go Get some more booze.

Oh, good. Good.

Ahem.

Wait up, Miss ellie.

Ha-ha. Nice night For a stroll.

Yeah, the air Has a touch Of rum in it.

Ooh. Oh, nice.

Yeah.

I hate this Fucking retreat.

Why?

Well, because.

I did a lot Of bonding.

Did you Do bonding?

Oh, everyone did A tonne of bonding. Yeah.

I mean, Look at them.

We have you To thank, sammy.

I mean, Nothing brings People together

Quite like Ganging up on a Complete idiot.

Thanks, but all anybody’s Going to be talking about

For the next three months Is what a loser I am.

The crickets Are lying to me!

Ooh.

Well, I think You’re in the Clear now, buddy.

Yeah.

Hmm.

Hey, how you doing?

Sorry about The odour, man.

I was going for a Laugh and I sharted.

I guess... I guess you guys

Don’t have a word For that, huh?

Yeah, I know that Eskimos have, like, 100 words for snow.

But us white guys, no,

We got tonnes of words For body functions.

Sharting is, Uh, essentially

When you go for a fart

And you shit Your pants.

A combination of The words, uh, "Shit"

And "Fart". "Shart".

Yeah. I don’t even know Who coined the phrase,

But he probably Sharted himself.

The history of The whole thing is... Is fascinating.

Kind of smells Like burnt pork.

♪ I’m goin’ up To the country ♪

♪ baby, don’t You wanna go? ♪

♪ I’m goin’ up To the country ♪

♪ baby, don’t You wanna go? ♪

Closed captioned by Stancon video