Original subtitles

So, what do you Guys think of The new floor?

It smells like The old floor, Doesn’t it?

You know, Coffee...

Toner. Yeah. Broken dreams.And just A hint of Cinnamon. You know, I miss The traders who Used to be here.

They were Teaching me all Their hand signals.Ah, yeah... Watch this. Watch this. I just sold 700 Shares of fromage International inc.

Wow. Or, you Told this guy To steal third.

You know, I heard those Guys got 7 to 10

For insider Trading.

No. Yeah.What’s the Hand signal For "Don’t Put your dick In my bum"?

I’m barry. I’ll be Running things

Here on the 45th floor.

Take a look around. What do you see?

Excellent Workmanship?

Attention To detail?

An absence Of black mould?

And we all know How bad black Mould can be. Hmm?

No offence.

The mould is bad, Not the people.

Although, there Are some bad Black people.

No, not you, morris.

Don’t patronize him.

He’s an asshole And he knows it.

Anyway, we’re On 45 now

And I think we’re Going to love it.

I mean, look At the quality That’s around you.

I mean, those Are reinforced, Double-paned,

Bullet-proof windows.

Believe me, you Couldn’t do this On the 49th floor.

Woo-hoo!

Looks like I’m going To need another Fifth for poker.

One, two, three, four!

♪ all hail The working man ♪

♪ he’s got the world In his hand ♪

♪ all hail The working man ♪

♪ the work is never done

♪ way-oh, way-oh-oh

♪ way-oh, way-oh-ho

Huh!

♪ I am the working man

♪ through the night Till the morning sun ♪

♪ I am the working man

♪ the work is never done

♪ way-oh, way-oh-oh Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! ♪ way-oh-way

♪ pray for The working man ♪

♪ always there With a helping hand ♪

♪ pray for The working man ♪

♪ the work is never done

♪ all hail The working man ♪

♪ another day Has just begun ♪

♪ all hail The working man ♪

♪ it’s never friggin’ done

That was the Most depressing Funeral ever.

Yeah. You know what Was weird?

That there were only Ten people there Including the corpse?

No. No.

The open casket.

Ah, yeah.

But those Hors d’oeuvres Were unbelievable.

That artichoke dip Was to die for.

So to speak.

All right, look, Enough death talk.

It’s time to Play poker with The big boys.

Clark, we just saw A lonely man get buried

In a plastic casket With nothing to Show for his life

But a dozen bowling Trophies and polaroids Of his ex-wife.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Snap out of it.

Look, there are titans Of industry in there

Dying to throw their Money into our pockets.

It’s now or never.

There’s going To be snacks.

Ooh! Titan snacks. Yeah.

Barry would have Wanted it this way.

Yeah.

Gentlemen, Good evening.

Sit down, gents.

Take larry’s Seat, stan.

You mean, barry.

Why not?

Just be cool, Like barry’s corpse.

So, is your boat still In the water, maury?

I sold it. Wife number three

Bought it for me For my birthday.

I have a boat...

On my dime.

Who invited The pizza boy?

Don’t mind him.

He’s mildly retarded.

Goddamn equal Opportunity.

Ah, stan here works In our law firm.

He’s a damn Good lawyer.

Yes, I am.

But I’m not much Of a poker player,

So I’ll probably Fold a lot.

I might even sit Out a few hands And just watch.

And, hey, if we get Bored of poker,

Maybe we can play A couple of games Of crazy eights?

Way to blend, Maverick.

Let’s play.

Your bet, luigi.

Shh.

What’ll it be?

All right.

I call, right?

Uh, all in.

All in, babies.

Read ’em and weep.

How am I supposed To pay the guy?

I don’t know. Sell a kidney.

Look, it’s pocket Change for the Old curmudgeon.

He’s probably Forgotten about It already.

You think? Shit, yes.

Oh. Speak Of the devil.

You guys talking About satan, At this hour?

How are you Doing, sir?

How you liking The new... The new floor?

You call this A floor?

We had a floor Back in ’52,

It was so glorious,

People walked around Without their shoes.

Look, what do You guys want?

Uh, you came into My office, sir.

Good eye, Clarky.

Give me a moment Here with stan, Will you?Uh... Yeah, certainly.

Yeah, it’s time for My mid-morning snack.

I’m on the zone.

Bon appetit.

Now listen here, You little shit.

I want my 68 large By wednesday

Or I’ll split you From neck to nuts.

Wednesday.

Today’s wednesday.

Friday!

Careful, meathead, Robin’s on the warpath.

Yeah, thanks, maxine.

But I think I know My way around women.

Oh, sorry.

And how are you Today, madame?

Don’t you miss The days

When people called Each other "Madame"?

I... I guess They still do in Brothels and stuff.

Not that I know.

No, I do. I do.

What do you Want, murray?

I’m looking for The welland casselman Your ends.

Not "Your" end, The... Year ends.

Okay, go away now.

What, is it That time of The month?

I’m just kidding. I’m kidding.

You...

Robin’s phone, uh, Murray stipple speaking.

Oh hey, robin’s mom.

Ah, no, you Just missed her.

Uh, is there a message That I can give her?

Uh-huh.

Yeah.Oh. Okay, so that’s Why she’s been such A cranky-pants.

I thought ’cause She was on the rag.

No, I’m just kidding.

I’m just kidding.

Well, I thank you, Madame, and I hope That one day soon...

Oh, okay, bye-bye.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

I don’t have $68,000.

Then you shouldn’t Have bet it. Clark.

No. I can’t lend You $68,000.

What about 67,000?

Look, all my Money’s tied up in Philanthropy. Asbestos,

Filipino... Hey, bros. How’s it hanging?

A little to The right myself.

Never mind. Never mind.

So I figured out What’s wrong with Our girl, robin.

Her left Eye’s lazy?

She’s got a yanni Screensaver?

No. It’s her Birthday today

And everybody Forgot.

So I’m throwing A little Surprise party

In the employee Lounge.

It’s going to be sweet.

All right, I’ll See you guys there.

Ah. A surprise party For robin.

Yeah. What are you Thinking?

Titanic, Hindenburg?

More like 9/11.

Still too soon? Mmm...

Who touched my tit?

Which one? The real one.

I did.

Do it again.

Shh. She’s coming, She’s coming.

Remember, guys, Nice and loud.

Okay, do it Till it hurts!

No, just kidding. Just kidding.

Surprise!

Happy birthday!

Whose brilliant Idea was this?

That’d be Mine, darlin’.

Happy birthday!

Oh!

Oh, sorry. Oop!

Oh. Oh.

Oh, that was Expensive.

Get off me.

How could you let Murray throw me A birthday party?

I got problems Of my own, robin.

I owe fagen $68,000.

What? Yeah.

I don’t care.

My life...

Is pathetic.What are you Talking about? Most 29-year-olds Haven’t accomplished Half as much as you.

Yeah...

What? Nothing.What? Nothing. Do I seriously have To say "What" again?

Come on. How bad Could this be?

I’m 35.

You’re 35?

What happened?

Weren’t you, Like, 28 Last year?

I’ve been 28 for The last 5 years.

Well, that Makes you 33.

Well, I was 27 For three years Before that.

O-oh.

Do me a favour, sam. Yeah.

Don’t tell anyone About the age thing.

I think next year, I Might try and turn 30.

No problem, robin.

That’s what Friends are for.

I’m not lending You $68,000.

Fair enough.

Oh, my god.

You’re 35?

Oh...

Hey, you.

Hey. I salvaged you a Little bit of cake.

It’s got Some carpet-y Aftertaste to it,

But it’s Still good.

Still not lending You the money.

You’ve got a Nice golf swing.

Very little Head movement.

Thanks.

Wait a second! Doesn’t Your father golf?

Wh... In those Rich guy golf Tourney thingies...With rich guys? Look, I’m not Borrowing money From my dad for you.

Why not? ’cause. We claxtons

No hugging, No helping, No foreigners.

No exceptions?

Only for nannies.

Mmm, consuela.

Look, sam, my father’s Surrounded by people

Who are in Debt to him.

He gets off on People owing Him something

So I vowed I’d never be one Of those people.

You don’t have To be one of Those people.

I’ll ask him.

Really? Yeah.

You want To do that? Huh!

Fine. I’ll give You his number.

Hey, birthday girl.

Look, I wanted To apologize For the stains.

Uh, and if you Remove your sweater And brassiere,

I will personally Hand-wash them.

I’m just kidding.

And, you know, let Me just say this

About the whole Birthday "Thang".

Uh, you don’t have To be p.O.’ed

That you’re Getting old.

Me? I... I Find the older Ladies attractive.

I like the cougars.

Uh, so if you’re Worried about the Big "M"-o-pause,

For me, it’s Not an issue.

Besides, if you Have a kid this Late in the game

It would Probably be slow.

You notice how I Didn’t say retarded?

I’m going to go Do some stuff.

Tell me some things About clark jr.

What’s he into These days, you know?

Last time I Checked, it was Those "Thundercats".

He was always yelling "Thundercats, roar!"

Drove me fucking Crazy, actually.

Yeah. Uh...

No, these days he’s More into, uh...

Filipinos.

Jesus christ, Ladyboys?No. More like from An investment Perspective.

Oh. That’s Not a good Idea either, sam.

Never invest in A catholic nation.

Can’t trust people Who aren’t allowed To jerk off.

Yeah. I’ll keep That in mind, sir.

If we could get Back to the point Of this meeting,

Uh... Yeah.

I’m all ears.

I’m about to ask you A really big favour.

I seem to have Gotten myself

Into a little bit Of trouble and...

This isn’t One of those "A pimp found out

About your special Needs from one Of his whores

And now he’s Trying to extort Money from you

So you have to Have him killed" Thing, is it?

No. No, Just gambling.

Huh!

How much?

$68,000...

Ish. No problem.

What do you need, Cash, cheque...

Gold bullion?

Cheque would be fine.

Whatever. I piss money.

Oh, ho... Wow!

I cannot Tell you what A relief this is.

I don’t care What it takes,

I’m going to Pay you back.

Yeah...

I tell you, I have An idea about that.

Anything.

Hmm. Yeah.

I want you to Have sex with me.

That’s so good.

Yeah...

Tell me some things About your dad, clark.

What kind of things?

Oh, you know, What kind of foods Does he like?

Does he have Any hobbies?

Um, I think he’s Into war figurines.

Well, that sounds Kind of gay. Hmm?

I had a very Interesting conversation With your father.

Yeah? Is he lending You the money?

Oh, I got A conditional yes.

Conditional upon...

Your father Said he’d lend Me the money

If I slept With him.

Heh, you mean, Like a nap?Oh yeah, the kind of nap Where I take my pants off And he has sex with me.

Come on. No.

C’mon, he’s got to be Fucking with you.

Poor choice of words. No, no, no. This Can’t be right.

I’m telling you. Your pappy’s developed A taste for wang.

Get the fuck Out of here.I’ll leave you two Alone to let you have Some father-son-why- You-want-to-fuck- My-friend time.

I didn’t always Want to be a lawyer.

I wanted to Play the bongos.

I called myself Bongo pete. I had A little goatee.

There was no Money in bongos.

Never will be.

The only money is in Screwing people over.

Don’t forget! Friday.

Sir, I...

I-I’m doing Everything I can.

You know what I’m doing tonight?

"Roadshow treasures" Is in town.

I’ve got this funny Little candlestick

With two dancing Mice on it.

At least, I think They’re dancing,

They might Be fighting.

Anyway, I’m going to Have it appraised.

You know what I mean, You little bastard?

Uh... Yes?

I’m glad we had This little chat.

So after cheating On my mother

With every whore This side of bangkok,

You’re suddenly digging In the other garden?

Well, I’ll Tell you, son.

I’ve been to Every continent On the planet.

I make ridiculous Amounts of money.

I’ve made love to some Of the most beautiful Women in the world,

And your mother.

So now, there’s Nothing left To conquer

So I’m banging dudes And loving it.

Couldn’t you just Take up badminton?

Well...

A lot of little asian Kids play that, huh?

Yeah.

They must be Nimble as hell.

Dad, look, For my sake,

Can you please just Stay in the closet For a little while?

Or I retire.

Then you can fag it up All you want.

Oh, for chrissakes.

Do you honestly Believe that I’m a fruitcake?

Well, what’s All this about Sleeping with sam?

I was trying to Get your attention.Ah... For the love Of god, What has gone So wrong with Our relationship

That my own son Can’t call me up To ask for money

To pay off His friend’s Gambling debt?

Well, it’s nothing Personal, dad,

It’s just that I hate you.

I always have.

Huh.

You’re a claxton Through and through,

Aren’t you, son?

Yeah.

You come from A long line of Father-haters

And I respect That about you.

Remember the first time You tried to kill me?

Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I woke up with Your little hands Around my throat.

Christmas of ’78.

That’s right. Yeah.

Wait, wait, wait. Where’s this going?

I think we need To bond, son.

Oh...

But we have To do it today,’cause I’m swamped Till the 18th. No, no, no. You Can’t just erase Years of neglect

With a few hours Of bonding.

Who says? I do.

I’ll tell you what.

We both seem To like fucking

With that little gnome Friend of yours, right?True. What do you say we do Some of that together?

All right. Yeah.

I’ll bond with You... "Dad".

But you got to make Good on that $68,000.

Huh. You really Love your little Sammy, don’t you?

Yeah. I mean, Not how you want To love him, but...

Hmm.

How you doing?

Fine.

You know one of My tits isn’t real?

I know. The left one.

You had it removed Because of cancer.

You bring it up All the time.

It’s an ice-breaker.

I just want to be alone.

I know what you’re Going through.

You were young, You started out with Hopes and aspirations

And then you got to This point in your life

And you realized Your dreams

Were getting A little ahead of you.

What should I do?

Kill your dreams.

Every damn One of them.

It’ll hurt, But you’ll get Through it.

You’ll drink,

You’ll throw Yourself into Your work,

You’ll pop pills, You’ll whore Around some,

You’ll botox Yourself silly.

Whatever it Takes to shove It all down.

Then one day, 20 years from now,

You’ll wake up and It’ll all be okay.

Yeah, I don’t Know how it works, But it does.

Think your Dad’s a pitcher Or a catcher?

What am I saying? This is insane.

I can’t fuck Your father. I’m not gay.

Well, it’s not gay If you’re doing It for money.

Did you at least Talk to him?

No. He’s been Out all day.

But his secretary Said he’s on his Way over here.

So look, just Relax. Okay?

Just think of someone Better-looking.

Clark, I can’t Do this! I...

Hey, hey, Hey, hey, hey. Courage. Courage.

Now look, my dad’s A reasonable man.I’m sure the Two of you Can work something Out, okay? You think so?

Yeah. Look, If you’re lucky

You may be able to get Him down to a blowjob.

Huh?

Ooh, look, He’s going to Be here soon.

Maybe you should Freshen up.

Ahh! All right?

My dad likes A clean man.

Thank you.

Hey, I got A present for You. Come quick.

Can’t you See I’m busy?

Shredding?

Destroying My life’s blueprint.

My five-year plan.

That’s your Five-year plan?

Well, this is Just year one.

I now realize I’ve set My expectations too high

And the best I can hope for

Is to be a glorified File clerk

For the next three Years and die alone.

Fuck it. Let me tell You a quick story.

I’m really not up For any more pep Talks today, clark.

Shut up and Sit down.All right. So... When I was in Grade school, I had no friends.

Shocking, Isn’t it?

Hmm. You know the Kid you tease

’cause his family Only has two Summer homes?

Well, that was Me. It sucked.

So one day, I ran away.

Yeah, I made it All the way

To the dining room In the east wing.

A few days later, My father found me,

Or actually His valet, Mickey, did.

And he gave You a big hug

And let you cry On his shoulder?

No...

Shut up, this Is my story.

Here.

No.

Uh, my father put His arm around me

And he told Me that I was A fucking loser.

Yeah.

But he also told me

That no matter how Big a loser I was,

Somewhere In the world

There would always Be a bigger loser.

Is this supposed to Make me feel better?

No. Not yet.

But come with Me. Quick.

Hey, mr. Claxton.

Listen, I... I wanted To talk to you, uh...

Mano a... A mano.

Hey. Hey.

Let’s save That for after. Okay, lover?

Step into The light there,

Let me have a good Look at your physique.

Sweet.

Take off Your clothes.

Okay, see, I’m not Really comfortable With that.

Just loosen your Tie a bit, sam.

I’ll get you there, Don’t worry.

Sir... Is there Anything else I Could do for you?

Off with the pants.

Oh yeah.

Mr. Claxton: Good. Good. Good. Good. Good.

Come on, You can do it.

Oh, yeah. Sweet.

Now, unbutton Your shirt,

Tie it up into A daisy duke.Come on! Mr. Claxton: You want the Money, don’t you?

Okay.

Slowly, Slowly, slowly.

Unbutton slowly.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

A daisy duke. Like this?

Uh-huh.

Okay.

Mmm!

Nice. Thank you.

Now, strike a pose

And show me those Bedroom eyes.

What are you going To do with that?

Shake your Shoulders for me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shake ’em. Shake ’em. Shake ’em.

Oh yeah.

Keep it sexy. Keep it sexy.

Not vulgar.

Mmm. Yeah.

Now happy feet. What’s happy feet? Give me happy feet, You son of a bitch!

Mmm! Oh, Good god,

I’m as hard as german Steel over here, boy!

Oh, god.Mmm! Okay, now one foot Happy, one foot sad.

Yeah. Mmm, Mmm, mmm.

Oh, god. Thank god!

I thought, uh...

Oh yeah.

That is worth $68,000.

Let me see that.

Oh.

Now this candelabra

Is from 18th Century france.

There were Only 11 made.

But the point is,

Are these mice Fighting or dancing?I mean, look at it. This one’s got his hand On the other one’s back.

This one looks like He’s going to give Him a rabbit punch.

This one looks Like he’s doing A karate chop.

Every morning, I wake up

And this candlestick Is mocking me.

Fighting or dancing? Fighting or dancing?

Well, actually,

This is a fornication Candelabra, sir.

So these mice Are screwing?

Yes.

Do you realize This candelabra

Is worth over $75,000?

That’s a lot of crap.

They should be dancing.

No, sir. That can’t be.

I mean, nobody Makes love like that.

They’re like animals.

What can I say?

Ah! I’m sick of it.

You take it. All these years,

I thought it was going To be a celebration Of the dance.

The magic is gone.

One, two, three, four!

♪ all hail The working man ♪

♪ he’s got the world In his hand ♪

♪ all hail The working man ♪

♪ I am the working man

♪ I am the working man

♪ the work is never done

♪ way-oh, way-oh-oh

♪ way-oh, way-oh-ho

♪ all hail the working man

♪ all hail the working man

Closed captioned by Stancon video