All language subtitles for South Park - 910 - Follow that Egg

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:34,530 --> 00:00:40,480 Okay, children, this week we are all going to learn about parenting. 2 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:44,504 I'm going to pair all the boys and girls in class into couples, 3 00:00:44,539 --> 00:00:47,661 and give each couple... an egg 4 00:00:47,696 --> 00:00:53,142 You must care for and look after this egg just like a baby for one full week. 5 00:00:53,177 --> 00:00:57,265 If you break your egg, it means you have a dead baby, 6 00:00:57,300 --> 00:01:00,446 and if you kill your baby, you get an F. 7 00:01:00,745 --> 00:01:04,567 When I announce your names, please move and sit with the person you're paired with. 8 00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:06,962 Heidi, you'll be with Eric. 9 00:01:06,997 --> 00:01:08,047 Awwww. 10 00:01:08,082 --> 00:01:10,327 Annie, you'll be a family with Timmy. 11 00:01:10,362 --> 00:01:11,282 Timmay! 12 00:01:11,317 --> 00:01:13,406 Milly, your husband is Craig. 13 00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:16,034 - Powder, you and Kenny are a loving couple now. - Oh no, dude, he's gonna put me with Wendy. 14 00:01:16,069 --> 00:01:19,237 - Aaand let's see who else we have here, uh... - So, I haven't even spoken to Wendy since we broke up. 15 00:01:19,272 --> 00:01:23,284 And, Wendy? Wendy will be with Kyle. 16 00:01:23,924 --> 00:01:25,218 Kyle ? 17 00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:27,184 Bebe, you're paired up with Stan. 18 00:01:27,219 --> 00:01:31,365 Lola and Token, Red and Craig, and Esther and Bradley. 19 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,758 Now, I'm going to sign each of your eggs myself, 20 00:01:34,793 --> 00:01:37,931 so that we'll know it's the same one at the end of the week. 21 00:01:37,966 --> 00:01:43,153 That way if anybody cheats and tries to replace their eggs, we'll know, Eric 22 00:01:43,188 --> 00:01:49,019 All you have to do is make it to Friday with your egg unharmed to prove what great little parents you are. 23 00:01:49,448 --> 00:01:54,010 Okay children, you can now take the rest of the school period to decorate your egg however you wish. 24 00:01:54,045 --> 00:01:58,720 Good luck, and remember, a dead baby means an F for the parents. 25 00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:08,463 Just look at all these little families 26 00:02:08,498 --> 00:02:11,722 Newfound couples in a happy home. 27 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:15,235 It takes me back to another time 28 00:02:15,270 --> 00:02:18,914 When I had a love of my own. 29 00:02:18,949 --> 00:02:25,289 Love, love lost long ago, it was special then, it's over now. 30 00:02:25,324 --> 00:02:32,356 Love, so darn frail, you know? It shriveled and died. I don't know how. 31 00:02:42,574 --> 00:02:48,770 Love, love lost long ago, it was special then, it's over now. 32 00:02:48,805 --> 00:02:55,707 Guess that I'll never know how it all went wrong. How how how? 33 00:02:56,602 --> 00:03:06,114 Well perhaps I should try and boldly go and rekindle that love lost long ago 34 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,426 Mr. Garrison! Ohoh, Jezuth! 35 00:03:17,461 --> 00:03:20,288 Just let me say what I came here to say. 36 00:03:20,323 --> 00:03:26,172 I know we had a falling out and... things were said that... shouldn't have been said. 37 00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:30,117 I want to apologize for calling you a faggot. 38 00:03:31,063 --> 00:03:33,923 That's, that's wonderful, Mr. Garrison! 39 00:03:33,958 --> 00:03:36,601 Well, wait, wait, it gets better. 40 00:03:36,636 --> 00:03:40,790 I've forgiven you for walking out on me after I had my sex change, and uh... 41 00:03:41,709 --> 00:03:44,054 And I'm ready to take you back, Mr. Slave! 42 00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:47,996 Well, give us a kiss! 43 00:03:48,446 --> 00:03:50,301 Slave, honey, is that the pizza? 44 00:03:58,202 --> 00:04:00,282 What the hell is he doing here?! 45 00:04:00,317 --> 00:04:04,617 Mr. Garrison, Al and I have been living together for a few months. 46 00:04:04,652 --> 00:04:07,373 Well, that didn't take you long, did it?! 47 00:04:07,408 --> 00:04:09,610 Slave, should I leave you two alone? 48 00:04:09,645 --> 00:04:10,299 Yeah. 49 00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:11,586 No! 50 00:04:11,621 --> 00:04:17,289 Mr. Garrison, there's something you should know. Al and I are getting married. 51 00:04:18,115 --> 00:04:19,516 Married ? 52 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:20,853 Yes. 53 00:04:21,039 --> 00:04:24,059 You can't get married! You're faggots! 54 00:04:24,094 --> 00:04:26,402 Oh, Jezuth Christh. 55 00:04:26,437 --> 00:04:31,313 Mr. Slave, I am legally a woman now! If you wanna get married, you have to marry ME! 56 00:04:31,348 --> 00:04:36,133 Oh that's not true! Colorado is about to pass a bill which allows same-sex marriage. 57 00:04:36,168 --> 00:04:39,496 We're getting married right after the bill passes on Saturday. 58 00:04:39,531 --> 00:04:43,787 Oh, that's just great! They're gonna let queers and homos get married, huh?! 59 00:04:43,822 --> 00:04:47,291 Okay, that's enough. Out, Mr. Garrison. 60 00:04:47,326 --> 00:04:50,022 We'll just see about this, you fudge-packin' fags!! 61 00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:51,858 I'll stop that gay-marriage law! 62 00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:55,301 Oh my God, you're just saying that because you're jealous. 63 00:04:55,336 --> 00:05:01,050 Jealous of what?! I'm doin' this out of principle! To protect the sanctity of marriage! 64 00:05:01,085 --> 00:05:03,997 Fags are gettin' married over MY DEAD BODY!! 65 00:05:17,731 --> 00:05:19,837 Hello? Oh hey dude. 66 00:05:19,872 --> 00:05:21,888 So, what are you and Wendy doing? 67 00:05:21,923 --> 00:05:25,444 Oh, we're just makin' a cradle out of an egg carton for our egg 68 00:05:25,479 --> 00:05:27,778 We figure that way it'll be easier to keep safe so we can get an A. 69 00:05:27,813 --> 00:05:28,676 Uh huh... 70 00:05:28,711 --> 00:05:31,765 I don't think it's gonna be that hard to keep it from breaking. This whole assignment is stupid. 71 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,406 Yeah, well, so is your hat 72 00:05:41,596 --> 00:05:43,858 Stan, I need you to watch the egg for a while. 73 00:05:43,893 --> 00:05:44,896 I can't. I'm busy. 74 00:05:44,931 --> 00:05:48,066 I've been looking after it all day. I have to go to the hair salon and the candy store! 75 00:05:48,519 --> 00:05:49,912 ...So take it with you! 76 00:05:49,947 --> 00:05:52,463 Stan, this is our egg. We're both supposed to take care of it. 77 00:05:52,498 --> 00:05:54,828 Well maybe I didn't want to have an egg with you, okay Bebe?! 78 00:05:55,577 --> 00:05:58,207 Well whether you wanted to or not doesn't really matter now! 79 00:05:58,242 --> 00:06:00,974 We're going to get graded together! It's your egg too! 80 00:06:01,009 --> 00:06:02,647 Own up to your responsibilities! 81 00:06:16,054 --> 00:06:20,576 These homosexuals think they can just step all over our traditions! 82 00:06:20,611 --> 00:06:25,916 Well I say: Marriage is a holy sacrament between a man and a woman! 83 00:06:27,656 --> 00:06:29,239 Who is that lady? 84 00:06:29,274 --> 00:06:31,307 I don't know, but she is pissed. 85 00:06:31,342 --> 00:06:33,824 They passed this law behind our back! 86 00:06:33,859 --> 00:06:38,337 We need to tell the governor and the world that gay marriage is not okay! 87 00:06:38,372 --> 00:06:41,355 That homosexuals cannot muddy our traditions! 88 00:06:41,390 --> 00:06:46,383 And there is only one way for us, all together, to make that messeage very clear! 89 00:06:46,418 --> 00:06:50,881 We need to round up three or four queers and beat the livin' hell out of them! 90 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:59,432 Come on, everybody! Let's get some queers, and some trucks, and have us a good old-fashioned fag drag! 91 00:07:00,155 --> 00:07:06,291 Well uh, we were thinkin' we would, you know, just go appeal to the Governor 92 00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:10,982 Appeal to the Governor? Oh,come on! Where's your balls?! Fag drag! 93 00:07:11,017 --> 00:07:16,073 We don't "hate" homosexuals, we, we we just don't want them to be able to marry. 94 00:07:16,108 --> 00:07:20,663 Yeah, we were just thinkin' o' goin' and askin' the Governor to veto the bill. 95 00:07:20,698 --> 00:07:21,984 Yeah ! 96 00:07:23,342 --> 00:07:25,427 Eh fah, fag drag? 97 00:07:27,922 --> 00:07:34,886 Governor, we have collected over one thousand signatures requesting that you veto this gay-marriage bill! 98 00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:37,197 Oh jeez, I knew this would happen. 99 00:07:37,198 --> 00:07:40,169 First the gay people come in here wanting equal rights, 100 00:07:40,204 --> 00:07:44,159 then this bill gets passed and now all the people against it want me to veto it 101 00:07:44,194 --> 00:07:46,478 Why do I have to make this decision?? 102 00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,484 Because you're the governor? 103 00:07:49,519 --> 00:07:54,978 I just wanted a big house and lots of respect. I didn't want this kind of responsibility 104 00:07:55,178 --> 00:08:01,293 I mean, I don't know anything about gay marriage. What argument can I use to deny them their right to a family? 105 00:08:01,328 --> 00:08:02,982 Well, think of the children! 106 00:08:03,017 --> 00:08:07,645 If you allow gays to get married, then you're also givin' them full rights as parents to adopt. 107 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:10,112 You think kids can be raised by queers?? 108 00:08:10,147 --> 00:08:14,893 I can't use that argument. There's never been a study done which proves that either way. 109 00:08:16,694 --> 00:08:24,749 But, if you had such a study, a scientific study which proved same-sex couples are incapable of raising a child... 110 00:08:24,784 --> 00:08:29,252 Then I would have something to fall back on. So-something to take all the pressure off of me. 111 00:08:30,149 --> 00:08:33,349 Mr. Governor, I will get you that study. 112 00:08:36,647 --> 00:08:38,338 Hey Wendy, how's your egg doing? 113 00:08:38,373 --> 00:08:42,208 Oh great. It's a pretty easy project. Kyle's really good with the egg. 114 00:08:43,956 --> 00:08:45,621 I wish I had a partner like Kyle! 115 00:08:45,656 --> 00:08:49,414 I went to go pick up the egg from Stan yesterday, and his dog had it in its mouth! 116 00:08:49,449 --> 00:08:51,549 Our egg isn't gonna last a week with Stan around! 117 00:08:51,860 --> 00:08:54,409 Okay, students, change of plan! 118 00:08:55,024 --> 00:09:00,218 You've all been doing a great job taking care of your eggs, but now we're going to mix it up a little. 119 00:09:00,219 --> 00:09:02,964 Wendy and Kyle will no longer be together. 120 00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:09,795 Let's see what happens when we put two same-sex couples together to take care of an egg, shall we?! 121 00:09:09,830 --> 00:09:13,564 Kyle, you are now with Stan! And Wendy is with Bebe! 122 00:09:13,599 --> 00:09:14,667 Why ? 123 00:09:15,939 --> 00:09:19,439 Come on, Bebe. We'll take your egg for you and Wendy to look after. 124 00:09:19,474 --> 00:09:20,022 Oh goodie. 125 00:09:20,057 --> 00:09:22,913 And we'll just take this egg for Stan and Kyle to look out for. 126 00:09:22,948 --> 00:09:24,421 No. No, that's my egg. 127 00:09:24,456 --> 00:09:26,538 Wendy, we're doing an experiment. 128 00:09:26,573 --> 00:09:28,211 Here you go, boys. 129 00:09:28,246 --> 00:09:32,609 But I made that egg. Mr. Garrison, please. Youyou can't give my egg to Stan, he'll break it. 130 00:09:32,644 --> 00:09:38,919 Hoh now, what makes you say that, Wendy? I'm sure two boys can handle an egg just fine... 131 00:09:39,484 --> 00:09:43,909 And if not, we'll certainly prove a point to that goddamned Govermor, won't we? 132 00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:45,660 Who ? 133 00:09:45,695 --> 00:09:51,957 Never mind, just carry on, children. Just carry on as two reckless little boys will. 134 00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:59,639 Okay, there. Now we can carry this egg around in this case without it getting cracked. 135 00:09:59,674 --> 00:10:01,485 All right, give it to me. I'll take it home tonight. 136 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,097 Look, Stan, you want me to just take care of this egg? 137 00:10:04,132 --> 00:10:05,403 Why do you say that? 138 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:11,252 It's just that... I really need this A, Stan. And Bebe did say you almost broke your last egg. 139 00:10:11,287 --> 00:10:12,779 That's because I was pissed off! 140 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:13,386 At who? 141 00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:15,241 Hang on. 142 00:10:18,419 --> 00:10:19,660 I wanna see my egg. 143 00:10:19,695 --> 00:10:20,263 Huh? 144 00:10:20,298 --> 00:10:22,445 I want to see my egg. 145 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,412 Wendy, it isn't your egg anymore! 146 00:10:25,447 --> 00:10:28,016 Yes it is. I made it, I decorated it. 147 00:10:28,051 --> 00:10:31,103 Well, you might have made it, but we're the ones who are taking care of it now. 148 00:10:31,138 --> 00:10:32,528 You have your own egg to look out for! 149 00:10:32,563 --> 00:10:35,304 ...I just wanna hold my egg for a couple of minutes. 150 00:10:35,339 --> 00:10:36,928 Wendy, I just wanna get an A, okay? 151 00:10:36,963 --> 00:10:39,360 Let's not make this any more confusing than it already is 152 00:10:40,785 --> 00:10:43,375 Don't let anything happen to it, please. 153 00:10:44,515 --> 00:10:48,398 Wendy, nothing's gonna happen to the egg. You can have it when the week is over and I have my grade. 154 00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:51,744 Freakin' weirdos, man. 155 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:54,972 You think you're sooo great, don't you?! Well guess what?! 156 00:10:55,007 --> 00:10:56,799 Maybe I don't need your help! 157 00:10:56,834 --> 00:10:58,107 I'm taking the egg home tonight, 158 00:10:58,142 --> 00:11:01,788 and I'm gonna show everybody tomorrow that I'm every bit as good a egg-take-care-ofer as you! 159 00:11:05,062 --> 00:11:06,538 What the hell is wrong with everybody? 160 00:11:09,222 --> 00:11:14,644 Okay, children, it's Wednesday! Time for an official egg check! Heidi and Eric? 161 00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:15,770 Our egg is fine. 162 00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:18,240 Okay, Annie and Timmy? 163 00:11:19,013 --> 00:11:22,016 Good. Millie and Clyde, I saw yours before class. 164 00:11:22,051 --> 00:11:23,054 Powder and Kenny? 165 00:11:24,095 --> 00:11:27,303 Now how about our gay couples? Stan and Kyle? 166 00:11:27,926 --> 00:11:28,727 Fine! 167 00:11:29,612 --> 00:11:30,290 What? 168 00:11:30,325 --> 00:11:32,035 No problems at all! 169 00:11:32,070 --> 00:11:34,067 That's impossible! 170 00:11:34,937 --> 00:11:38,242 Are you sure you didn't break it and switch eggs on me?! Where's my signature?! 171 00:11:38,277 --> 00:11:40,127 It's right there, see? 172 00:11:40,162 --> 00:11:43,265 Two boys can't possibly take care of an egg! 173 00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:44,651 Dude, it's totally fine. 174 00:11:44,686 --> 00:11:48,276 It isn't fine! It has two daddies! You call that fine?! 175 00:11:48,311 --> 00:11:52,321 It may be fine on the outside, but inside it's confused and embarrassed! 176 00:11:52,356 --> 00:11:55,284 Look at the freak egg! It has two daddies! 177 00:11:55,319 --> 00:11:57,906 Two daaadies! Two daaadies! 178 00:11:57,941 --> 00:12:03,102 Come on, class, let's rip on the freek egg! Two daaadies! Two daaadies! 179 00:12:03,137 --> 00:12:07,172 Tom, I'm standing outside the Governor's office, where in just two days, 180 00:12:07,173 --> 00:12:11,271 the Governor can either sign or veto the new bill allowing gay marriage. 181 00:12:11,306 --> 00:12:14,343 Same-sex couples from all over the state have shown up in support, 182 00:12:14,378 --> 00:12:18,805 while dissenters have also converged. The governor is about to give a statement. 183 00:12:19,617 --> 00:12:24,888 I believe that I might have come up with a compromise to this whole problem that will make everyone happy! 184 00:12:25,015 --> 00:12:32,231 People in the gay community want the same rights as married couples, but dissenters don't want the word "marriage" corrupted. 185 00:12:32,266 --> 00:12:36,771 So how about we let gay people get married, but call it something else? 186 00:12:37,998 --> 00:12:42,630 You homosexuals will have all the exact same rights as married couples, 187 00:12:42,665 --> 00:12:48,652 but instead of refering to you as "maarriied," you can be... butt buddies. 188 00:12:50,953 --> 00:12:55,527 Instead of being "man and wife," you'll be... butt buddies. 189 00:12:56,495 --> 00:13:01,827 You won't be "betrothed," you'll be... butt buuuddies. Get it? 190 00:13:01,862 --> 00:13:06,877 Instead of a "bride and groom," you'd be... butt buddies. 191 00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:09,021 We wanna be treated equally! 192 00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:10,079 Y-you are equal. 193 00:13:10,114 --> 00:13:15,606 It's just that instead of getting "engaged," you would be... butt buuuddies. 194 00:13:15,641 --> 00:13:17,464 And everyone is happy! 195 00:13:17,499 --> 00:13:19,415 Well what about lesbians?! 196 00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:22,058 Well like anyone cares about fuckin' dykes. 197 00:13:26,175 --> 00:13:28,647 Oh, God, I was sure that would work. 198 00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:33,878 Damnit, damnit! Stan and Kyle's egg is still doin' fine! 199 00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:36,632 Those little assholes are screwin' up my entire plan! 200 00:13:37,611 --> 00:13:38,717 Yes, what?! 201 00:13:44,085 --> 00:13:46,282 What the hell is this?! 202 00:13:46,317 --> 00:13:47,559 I broke the egg. 203 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:50,843 You broke your egg?? Uh but you're partnered with a girl. 204 00:13:50,878 --> 00:13:53,822 I tried to cover it up, tried to put it back together with modeling glue, 205 00:13:53,857 --> 00:13:57,703 tried to seal it with a soldering gun, but, I give up. I can't hide it, I broke the egg. 206 00:13:58,610 --> 00:14:00,437 Did you tell anyone else about this? 207 00:14:00,472 --> 00:14:01,566 No. 208 00:14:01,601 --> 00:14:04,106 Did you tell your egg partner, Heidi? 209 00:14:04,141 --> 00:14:08,255 No. That's why I'm here. I think you should still give Heidi an A on the project. 210 00:14:08,290 --> 00:14:10,620 You see, I broke the egg, not her. 211 00:14:10,655 --> 00:14:13,520 And so, I should get an F, and she should get an A, 212 00:14:13,555 --> 00:14:16,907 which means that together the grade should average out to C minus for both of us. 213 00:14:16,942 --> 00:14:18,613 I can't do that, Eric! 214 00:14:18,648 --> 00:14:21,623 Damnit! I knew you'd say that! You always have it out for me! 215 00:14:21,658 --> 00:14:25,611 You have to get an A, Eric. Here: I'll sign this new egg for you. 216 00:14:25,646 --> 00:14:27,429 We'll pretend this never happened, all right? 217 00:14:28,055 --> 00:14:32,289 Just... put on the old hair, color in the same eyes... There we go, good as new. 218 00:14:32,324 --> 00:14:34,292 Go enjoy the rest of your recess. 219 00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:41,302 Mr. Garrison..., you've never been this cool to me before. 220 00:14:41,337 --> 00:14:44,511 ...Okay, well, you're welcome, Eric. Now, just run along. 221 00:14:47,275 --> 00:14:48,296 ...Why are you doing this 222 00:14:48,331 --> 00:14:50,638 Because I'm a nice teacher, all right? 223 00:14:51,531 --> 00:14:53,007 What do you want from me? 224 00:14:53,042 --> 00:14:56,131 Nothing! It's all okay! Just take your damn egg! 225 00:14:57,942 --> 00:14:59,047 No. 226 00:14:59,082 --> 00:15:01,636 Eric, you've never been anything but a problem for me! 227 00:15:01,671 --> 00:15:05,067 You're taking that egg! And if you break it again, I'll break both your legs, 228 00:15:05,102 --> 00:15:07,078 and burn down your house! Do you hear me?! 229 00:15:07,113 --> 00:15:07,995 Yes, teacher. 230 00:15:08,030 --> 00:15:09,763 Get out of my face! 231 00:15:11,742 --> 00:15:14,909 Urrgh, this scentific study isn't turning out the way I planned! 232 00:15:14,944 --> 00:15:18,610 Looks like I'm gonna have to... intervene. 233 00:15:25,401 --> 00:15:26,767 Are you Jakartha? 234 00:15:26,802 --> 00:15:28,287 Who the hell are you?! 235 00:15:28,322 --> 00:15:32,000 Mrs. Garrison. I spoke to your associates on the telephone. 236 00:15:32,035 --> 00:15:36,748 Ahh yes, you are interested in my services. 237 00:15:36,783 --> 00:15:42,316 I have a little... problem I need taken care of. I heard you're the best 238 00:15:42,351 --> 00:15:45,254 Who do you want me to kill? 239 00:15:52,334 --> 00:15:53,792 What is this? 240 00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,550 It's an egg. 241 00:15:55,551 --> 00:15:58,064 You want me to kill an egg? 242 00:15:58,099 --> 00:16:01,207 I can pay two thousand now, three more when the job is finished. 243 00:16:01,242 --> 00:16:03,761 What do you expect me to do with it? 244 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:10,515 I don't care. Scramble it, fry it, do what you will! It has to look like an accident. 245 00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:13,752 I am a serious assissin! Get out of my face! 246 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:18,091 What's the matter? You... afraid you can't do it? 247 00:16:18,126 --> 00:16:22,545 Can't say that I blame ya. That egg has caused me nothin' but problems since day one! 248 00:16:23,541 --> 00:16:26,217 I guess... you're not as good as they say you are... 249 00:16:26,995 --> 00:16:30,438 I am the greatest killer the world has ever seen!! 250 00:16:30,473 --> 00:16:33,237 Then why are you scared of one little ehhhhgg?! 251 00:16:33,272 --> 00:16:37,132 I will murder that egg! Then I will make it curse the day it was laid! 252 00:16:37,167 --> 00:16:38,551 That's more like it! 253 00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:47,239 Day five. I made it! Hello? 254 00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:48,550 Dude, did you hear what's happening? 255 00:16:48,585 --> 00:16:49,349 What? 256 00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:51,105 Garrison is taking us all on a field trip today. 257 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:53,727 He wants to do the final egg check in front of the Governor's office! 258 00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:54,862 Governor's office? 259 00:16:54,897 --> 00:16:56,940 She's really taking this grade seriously, Stan. 260 00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:59,553 I'm gonna come over so that we can take our egg to school together, all right? 261 00:16:59,588 --> 00:17:03,025 Aah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?! I took care of this egg, Kyle, not you! 262 00:17:03,026 --> 00:17:05,945 Okay, Stan, you've been an asshole to me all week! What is up?! 263 00:17:05,980 --> 00:17:06,514 What's up?! 264 00:17:06,549 --> 00:17:10,164 Oh, nothing except that you've been trying to impress Wendy all week long like a pathetic dickhole! 265 00:17:10,199 --> 00:17:11,305 Impress Wendy?? 266 00:17:11,340 --> 00:17:14,494 You've set it all up to look like you're this awesome prince and I'm just a loser! 267 00:17:14,529 --> 00:17:15,979 What the hell are you talking about?! 268 00:17:16,014 --> 00:17:18,314 Well guess what?! I'm gonna take this egg to class myself! 269 00:17:18,349 --> 00:17:22,378 And I'm gonna hold it up in front of Wendy, and say "See?! I'm every bit as good as Kyle is." 270 00:17:24,994 --> 00:17:27,040 Almost too easy. 271 00:17:31,211 --> 00:17:32,429 Stan ? 272 00:17:42,254 --> 00:17:45,098 Stan? Stan, I think we should talk. 273 00:17:45,133 --> 00:17:47,487 Dude, you should just go be with Wendy and be happy. 274 00:17:48,346 --> 00:17:49,468 Stan, I don't like Wendy. 275 00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,686 All I cared about was getting an A in this stupid project! 276 00:17:51,721 --> 00:17:55,809 Yeah well, I blew it. Now we're gonna fail and Wendy thinks I'm a total loser. 277 00:17:55,844 --> 00:17:57,758 I thought you didn't care about Wendy anymore. 278 00:17:57,793 --> 00:17:59,405 I don't. She's totally lame. 279 00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:03,479 Stan, there was never anything between Wendy and I 280 00:18:03,514 --> 00:18:06,014 I wouldn't go out with my best friend's ex-girlfriend. 281 00:18:07,842 --> 00:18:12,012 I'm sorry I didn't trust you, Kyle. I'm obviously just a crappy best friend to have. 282 00:18:12,047 --> 00:18:14,917 Yyeah well, I-I'm sorry I didn't trust you either. 283 00:18:14,952 --> 00:18:15,846 Huh? 284 00:18:16,193 --> 00:18:18,395 It was really important for me to get an A, Stan. 285 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:22,162 And Bebe said you were so reckless with your egg, so I made a fake one for you 286 00:18:22,197 --> 00:18:24,262 and kept the original safe with me. 287 00:18:24,297 --> 00:18:27,710 That... That's the real egg with Garrison's signature? 288 00:18:27,745 --> 00:18:29,152 Yeah dude. I'm sorry. 289 00:18:29,187 --> 00:18:31,363 Then... then Wendy won't think I'm a total loser! 290 00:18:31,398 --> 00:18:33,418 Yeah. And I can still get my A! 291 00:18:33,453 --> 00:18:34,649 Come on, buddy, let's go! 292 00:18:35,736 --> 00:18:39,174 Stan... Do you really think my hat is stupid? 293 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:44,763 As a matter of fact,... I think it is the nicest hat I've ever known 294 00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:48,211 Come on! 295 00:18:50,884 --> 00:18:55,323 Today is a very big day in which I'm supposed to make a very big decision. 296 00:18:55,358 --> 00:18:59,682 As some of you know, my biggest issue with gay marriage regards child-rearing. 297 00:18:59,717 --> 00:19:06,356 And a new study has just been concluded which will give me the ability to take no personal responsibility in this decision. 298 00:19:06,391 --> 00:19:07,752 A new study? 299 00:19:07,787 --> 00:19:11,623 Here with the results of that study is the lovely Mrs. Garrison 300 00:19:12,290 --> 00:19:13,680 Thank you, Governor. 301 00:19:14,014 --> 00:19:16,439 Ogh, Jesuth Christh. 302 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,806 Ladies and Gentlemen, with the help of some adorable fourth-grade students, 303 00:19:19,841 --> 00:19:26,498 we've completed our scientific, non-biased study of fags having kids. Come on up, children. 304 00:19:27,845 --> 00:19:32,167 The parents were grouped together as male and female. As you can see... 305 00:19:32,202 --> 00:19:35,479 Uh, Mrs. Garrison. You have an emergency phone call. 306 00:19:36,465 --> 00:19:38,334 Yes, what is it?! I'm a little busy! 307 00:19:38,369 --> 00:19:41,948 Mr. Garrison, it's Kyle! Our egg is okay! We'll be there in a couple of minutes! 308 00:19:42,036 --> 00:19:45,525 What?? Y-your... you're too late! 309 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,628 Don't fail us! We'll be right there! 310 00:19:48,110 --> 00:19:52,269 No you can'- Hello? Hello!! You told me you killed that freak egg!! 311 00:19:52,304 --> 00:19:53,766 I was sure I did! 312 00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:57,691 Well it's here! You'd better make damn sure it doesn't reach these steps uncracked! 313 00:19:58,261 --> 00:20:04,950 Haha, anyhow, as I was saying, we put one egg into the hands of two male students. 314 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,075 Thanks dude! 315 00:20:08,110 --> 00:20:09,269 There! Over there! 316 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:11,672 Excuse us! Excuse us please! 317 00:20:15,441 --> 00:20:16,431 Jesus Christ! 318 00:20:16,952 --> 00:20:17,551 Keep running! 319 00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:21,930 The the egg that the two boys were given just- 320 00:20:21,965 --> 00:20:23,061 Hang on! Wait! 321 00:20:28,051 --> 00:20:31,001 In conclusion, Governor, you can rest assured that-! 322 00:20:41,234 --> 00:20:44,680 Teacher, our egg is... okay. 323 00:20:47,578 --> 00:20:51,526 This egg is fine. Gays can get married! 324 00:20:55,799 --> 00:20:58,068 Noo! Noooo!! 325 00:20:58,103 --> 00:21:00,357 Gays can get married? What?? 326 00:21:04,669 --> 00:21:07,994 I now pronounce you man... and man. 327 00:21:16,903 --> 00:21:21,204 Boys, I'm really proud of you You've done an amazing thing for gay marriage rights. 328 00:21:21,744 --> 00:21:22,853 What did we do 329 00:21:22,888 --> 00:21:26,404 Stan, I'm sorry I doubted you. You really made a great dad. 330 00:21:27,830 --> 00:21:29,690 Like I give a crap about what you think, Wendy. 331 00:21:32,410 --> 00:21:35,163 Transcript : spscriptorium Sync : aneurysm- 28232

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