All language subtitles for F.L.W.E.D.2026.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-RAWR_Track03

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (SoranĂ®)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:26,358 Imagine if we had the opportunity to hear from a cultural icon 2 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,236 after they've passed away. 3 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,071 A chance for them to shape their own legacy, 4 00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:34,617 to be heard one last time in their own words. 5 00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:38,996 Eric Dane's charm and magnetic presence 6 00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:42,250 quickly solidified his stature as a TV star. 7 00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:46,962 He's most recognized for his role as Dr. Mark Sloan on Grey's Anatomy, 8 00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:50,216 the longest-running medical drama in TV history. 9 00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:52,217 Millions were captivated 10 00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:54,636 when his character stepped out of a steam shower, 11 00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:56,972 and he became McSteamy. 12 00:00:56,973 --> 00:00:58,892 Oh, this is awkward. 13 00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:02,519 And then there was his painfully raw, 14 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:06,858 brutal, and honest portrayal of Cal Jacobs on Euphoria. 15 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:11,321 Throughout his career, Eric played the heartthrob, 16 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:12,822 the athlete, 17 00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:15,283 the hero, 18 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,202 and the villain, 19 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:21,121 always with the same seemingly effortless charm, 20 00:01:21,122 --> 00:01:23,708 authenticity, and depth. 21 00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:27,544 His role as father to his two daughters, 22 00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:29,505 Billie and Georgia, 23 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:32,092 was the one that mattered the most to him though. 24 00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:36,345 He was resilient in his battle against ALS, 25 00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:41,351 an incurable disease that paralyzed much of his body, but never his spirit. 26 00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:44,812 With his passing, 27 00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:49,025 the world has lost a beloved leading man in the prime of his life. 28 00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:54,822 Before he died, Eric Dane sat down for a deeply meaningful conversation, 29 00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:57,282 at the end of which he was given the opportunity 30 00:01:57,283 --> 00:02:01,121 to speak directly to the world and deliver his final message, 31 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:07,252 knowing that what you're about to see would not air until after he passed away, 32 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:12,173 even if that meant locking away the footage for months or even years. 33 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:16,511 These are Eric Dane's famous last words. 34 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,808 Special for you. Runway. 35 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:23,935 Thank you. 36 00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:27,563 - You had to get me out here some way. - Somehow, right? 37 00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:31,483 And I think a fireman's carry would have been asking a lot. 38 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:32,694 Exactly. 39 00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:36,573 - I'm just gonna lock it. - Great. 40 00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:39,575 Wah. 41 00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,995 - Well done. - Okay, you're stuck her with me now. 42 00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,961 Are you stuck in here with me, or am I stuck in here with you? 43 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,422 Exactly. 44 00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:55,383 You still have a sense of humor about everything? 45 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:57,885 Mm. Very much so. 46 00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:01,221 Did you have moments when you didn't and it came back, or…? 47 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:04,933 No, I've… I've always had a sense of humor about this. 48 00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:09,230 It's really kind of interesting what's happening to my body. 49 00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:15,694 The mechanics of this disease is pretty interesting to me. 50 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,029 It's when you zoom in 51 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:20,533 and look at how it affects the individual moments 52 00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:24,370 is when it can actually bring you down a little bit. 53 00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:28,166 You know, I'm a… I'm a complainer. 54 00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:33,712 I've always historically been, like, the guy that would bitch and moan 55 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,216 on his way to doing anything. 56 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:37,925 Um, 57 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:41,888 but my spirit has been surprisingly pretty buoyant 58 00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:44,097 throughout this journey. 59 00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:46,725 - Why do you think it is? What-- - I have no idea. 60 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:53,106 There's no reason for me to be, you know, happy in any… any individual moment, 61 00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:55,235 but… but I am. 62 00:03:56,653 --> 00:04:02,116 And is that something you think someone who isn't sick can experience? 63 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:05,495 I think they can understand the concept. 64 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,830 I don't know if they'll actually experience it 65 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,667 like somebody who's terminally ill. 66 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:15,671 Right. And what… what it means to be alive has changed for you? 67 00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:17,339 Every day. 68 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:23,804 The progression of this thing is really just, uh… remarkable. 69 00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:26,556 You know, I'm sure I sound pretty good to you, 70 00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:28,475 but to me, I feel like I'm… 71 00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:31,104 I'm… I sound like a frog or… 72 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:36,525 I sit here in nothing but respect and awe of you and your… and your strength, 73 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:38,027 so you sound good to me. 74 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:39,988 Good. 75 00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:44,324 And so we're here in this, uh, special room, 76 00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:46,786 this set where we're totally private, 77 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:51,290 There's no camerapeople operating in here. They're in another room. 78 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,626 - They can't hear what we're talking about. - Mm-hmm. 79 00:04:54,127 --> 00:05:00,007 And the point of this always for… for everyone we… we talk to here 80 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:04,886 is an opportunity to define themselves when everybody's trying to define them, 81 00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:07,807 an opportunity for them to be really known. 82 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,726 And you and I talked about… We wanted this… 83 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,770 our intention to be a little bit more specific 84 00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:17,608 in that… we really want at the end of this 85 00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:22,237 that your children… will really know you 86 00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:25,324 in a way they wouldn't have had the opportunity to get to know you. 87 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,200 Mm-hmm. 88 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:29,746 You know, when this… when people are watching this, 89 00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:31,289 um, 90 00:05:31,789 --> 00:05:32,915 you'll have died. 91 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,210 Is that a complicated thing to consider? 92 00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:42,049 Because part of it is relief, and part of it is, every… every minute, 93 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:45,803 no matter what you're feeling, you're gonna wanna be present to. 94 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:47,305 Yeah. 95 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:54,520 It's a weird concept to kind of grapple with. 96 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,314 Um, 97 00:05:56,898 --> 00:06:01,360 you and I are talking here right now, and we're both very alive. 98 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,820 And at the same time, 99 00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:07,492 when this, um… exists, 100 00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:09,577 if it ever does, 101 00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,454 I won't be here. 102 00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:13,456 What's that feel like? 103 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:18,669 Um, it's kind of cool, I think. 104 00:06:20,004 --> 00:06:21,213 Um… 105 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,214 How so? 106 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,674 Well, it's just, 107 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,259 um, 108 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:32,767 the idea of… of, um, of living on past the… 109 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:37,605 the moment when you… when you peace out. 110 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:39,399 Um… 111 00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:42,692 It's pretty… it's pretty interesting to me. 112 00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:47,115 Speaking from the dead. Yeah. 113 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,616 That's what you're doing right now. 114 00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:50,535 Yeah. 115 00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,247 I'm gonna read your bio. 116 00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:55,832 Okay. 117 00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,752 "Eric William Dane." 118 00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:04,965 "You were born November 9th, 1972 in San Francisco, California." 119 00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:07,759 "Your mother, Leah Cohn, was a homemaker." 120 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:11,304 "Your father, William Dane Melvin, was a navy airman 121 00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:13,974 who became an architect and an interior designer." 122 00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:15,643 "He died when you were seven." 123 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,770 "You have a younger brother, Sean." 124 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:21,815 You were married to Rebecca Gayheart, a model and actress, 125 00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:23,233 for more than 20 years." 126 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:26,612 - You're still married to her today. - Yeah, that's true. 127 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,948 Uh, "You share two daughters, Georgia and Billie." 128 00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:31,867 "Billie is named after your father." 129 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,995 - Mm-hmm. - What was the thinking behind that? 130 00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:39,459 My firstborn was always gonna be Billie, whether it was a boy or a girl. 131 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,045 And she's got kind of a cool name. 132 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:46,132 - Billie Dane. - Mm-hmm. 133 00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:50,051 - Sounds like a gunfighter. - Yeah, exactly. 134 00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:51,970 Is Georgia named after anyone? 135 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:54,223 I think Rebecca just loved that name. 136 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:58,351 "You have been in an interesting and impressive collection of shows." 137 00:07:58,352 --> 00:08:00,979 "Saved by the Bell, The Wonder Years, 138 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,981 Roseanne, Married with Children, 139 00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:06,651 Silk Stockings, and Charmed, amongst many others." 140 00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:11,448 "In 2006, your one-time guest role as Dr. Mark Sloan on Grey's Anatomy 141 00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:14,367 ignited a fan hysteria so intense, 142 00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:17,580 the show was rewritten to make you into a leading man." 143 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:21,541 "After that, you starred as Captain Tom Chandler on The Last Ship, 144 00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:24,336 followed by your critically acclaimed performance as Cal Jacobs 145 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,339 on HBO's Euphoria." 146 00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:28,882 "Since you were diagnosed with ALS, 147 00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:32,928 you have been a tireless champion for expanding access to ALS treatment, 148 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:35,931 raising money, and bringing hope, dignity, and grace 149 00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,309 to the thousands impacted by the disease." 150 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:42,271 "And when this is broadcast, all of that work will be finished, 151 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,358 and your body will be at rest. 152 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:50,446 How does it feel to hear your… your bio like that? 153 00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:53,574 Well, it feels like, uh… 154 00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:01,289 feels like there's an interesting story in there somewhere. 155 00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:05,086 I'm proud of some of it. 156 00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:09,589 I mean, you know… you know, fuck it, I'm dead. 157 00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:11,842 I'm proud of all of it. 158 00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:16,180 You know, all of it got me to where I am today. 159 00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:22,770 Stuff about my father is always hard to hear, you know, 160 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,439 because that was such a wasted life. 161 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,692 He was so talented. 162 00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:34,365 But, uh, there was a ton of experience in there. 163 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,450 Life experience, 164 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,869 personal, professional. 165 00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:42,872 I think when I really tried to be good 166 00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:45,542 and, and, and approached the craft 167 00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:51,798 with a certain amount of, um, effort and, uh, and focus, 168 00:09:51,799 --> 00:09:55,343 that I was capable of doing some pretty good work. 169 00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,763 Yeah, certainly your work on Euphoria, 170 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:01,224 that is… that, to me, is masterwork. 171 00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:05,813 Thank you. I… I put a lot of effort into that. 172 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:10,317 What's a personal connection to that character that you found? 173 00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:13,612 There's something so… vulnerable. 174 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,365 There's something so exposed there. 175 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,075 Well, Cal and I are very similar 176 00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:24,289 in that we know what it's like to lead a double life. 177 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:27,250 I've… I've had experience with that 178 00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:31,005 with, uh, my battle with drugs and alcohol. 179 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,300 I know what it's like to not have my… 180 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,553 my insides match my outside. 181 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:40,306 Do you think that's what your dad struggled with? 182 00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:47,355 I think my father struggled with life, 183 00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:52,443 and, uh, he never felt he was enough. 184 00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:55,071 So when you were seven, 185 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:59,324 your father died by suicide or an accident. 186 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,867 I guess there was some conversation, 187 00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,787 but I'm not sure which one you think it was. 188 00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:05,748 I don't think, uh, 189 00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:12,380 somebody who's that intoxicated 190 00:11:12,963 --> 00:11:16,509 would, uh, play with a gun 191 00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:18,469 in a bathroom 192 00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:20,513 by themselves 193 00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:22,473 for fun. 194 00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:28,020 So I think my father in that moment meant to do it. 195 00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:36,237 I just… I kept thinking about how lonely my father must have been 196 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,532 and how scared he must have been. 197 00:11:40,741 --> 00:11:41,784 Um… 198 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,578 It's heartbreaking. 199 00:11:45,579 --> 00:11:49,583 Does it make you emotional even now as you think about his loneliness? 200 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,256 Yes. 201 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:59,676 And do you… do you connect it? Can you connect with that loneliness? 202 00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:01,010 Can you empathize? 203 00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:04,347 Do you feel… Have you had that… that level of loneliness as well? 204 00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:06,225 100%. 205 00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:11,897 I could feel lonely in a crowded room. 206 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:17,444 Has that always been your experience, of what it meant to be Eric, 207 00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:18,904 was that Eric was lonely? 208 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,574 Yeah. I've always felt 209 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:29,248 detached from my peers. 210 00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:33,042 I've historically had a very difficult time 211 00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:35,629 connecting with people. 212 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:41,427 And, you know, four months after my father died, 213 00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:45,388 my grandmother died, who I lived with. 214 00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:48,141 - And you were very close to her. - Very close. 215 00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:50,185 That was almost as impactful, 216 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,438 maybe more so than my dad. 217 00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:55,191 She really took care of me. 218 00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:59,277 - What was she like? - She was great, man. 219 00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:00,529 She was like… 220 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:04,741 She was so much fun. I remember her putting on this record. 221 00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:08,077 She put on the same record every day. 222 00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:10,371 - Which one? - It was Engelbert Humperdinck. 223 00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:13,333 - Oh no. - And it was "Quando." 224 00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:15,878 ♪ Tell me quando, quando, quando ♪ 225 00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:20,006 And she would play it all day on repeat and dance around, 226 00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:22,051 and she was just wonderful. 227 00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:23,635 Wow. 228 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:26,764 And she would take the San Francisco Chronicle 229 00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:33,813 and cut out the Dennis the Menace cartoon every day and put it on the fridge. 230 00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:38,234 Because she was convinced that I was him. 231 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,820 There was something there always. 232 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:47,910 Whether it was mischief or… or charm or whatever you wanna call it, 233 00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:50,495 I think there was something there. 234 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:53,165 - A rascal. - A rascal. 235 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,042 Yeah, I maintain that. 236 00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,627 - Always? Your whole life? - Yes. 237 00:13:57,628 --> 00:14:00,296 And she was your dad's mom or your mom's mom? 238 00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:02,048 My mom's mom. 239 00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:07,303 And your mom was less, uh, involved or less maternal? 240 00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:08,848 My mom was young. 241 00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:17,314 I think she did the best she could with the tools she had available to her. 242 00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:22,694 I know that you've told the story before about when your mother told you 243 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,737 that he had committed suicide. 244 00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:26,155 - You were seven. - Oh. Yeah. 245 00:14:26,156 --> 00:14:28,366 She woke you up in the middle of the night. 246 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,827 Before she would tell you, she told you over and over, 247 00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,454 "I need you to promise to be strong." 248 00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:35,248 - That's correct. - As a seven-year-old. 249 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,500 There's a, 250 00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:38,252 um, 251 00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:45,593 a real sort of block, I think, in the… in the empathy department. 252 00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:50,890 And I think it's because she's got a black belt in denial. 253 00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:53,934 - Um… - What is she denying? 254 00:14:54,435 --> 00:15:00,440 I think she's denying that it could have such a profound impact on me. 255 00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:01,900 - On you? - Yeah. 256 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:08,490 Also, I don't think she's fully accepted that, uh, I have this disease. 257 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:13,077 You know, I think she's still hanging on to the idea 258 00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:15,497 that there's gonna be a miracle cure 259 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,416 a year from now. 260 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,794 And it's denial. It's not hope. She's not hopeful. 261 00:15:21,795 --> 00:15:23,046 It's denial. 262 00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:25,049 Listen, um… 263 00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:27,676 I don't blame her. 264 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,888 If my kid had ALS, 265 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:34,432 I would… I would cling to that too. 266 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:35,558 Yeah. 267 00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:37,186 You clean with your mother? 268 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:42,274 Oh, no. Well, I ain't gonna open up Pandora's Box, Brad. 269 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:44,984 That's a whole other show. 270 00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:49,698 My mother always felt like I was a challenging… 271 00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:53,535 She refers to me as a challenging child. 272 00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:58,998 And whether it was because she saw parts of my dad in me, 273 00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:01,669 or I was just difficult… 274 00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:05,505 - You were Dennis the Menace, you said. - I was Dennis the Menace. 275 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:08,634 Even today, when I bring things up, 276 00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,428 you know, she's like, um, 277 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:15,348 "Well, you know, can't you just get past this?" 278 00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:18,518 And, you know, "It happened so long ago." 279 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:21,105 "Why is it still affecting you?" 280 00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:22,730 - Mm. - Um… 281 00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:28,362 And I think trauma reaches somebody on a cellular level. 282 00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:32,199 It's really hard to get it out of your system. 283 00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:35,284 In fact, probably impossible. 284 00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:38,747 The only thing you can do is learn how to deal with it. 285 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,751 I've been working through it for a long time. 286 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:49,674 I, uh, I ended up going to a, a, a treatment center 287 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:52,301 for… for trauma and depression. 288 00:16:52,302 --> 00:16:54,346 Mostly related to your dad? 289 00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:57,932 Oh, solely related to my dad, 290 00:16:57,933 --> 00:17:00,728 'cause that's where the trauma came from. 291 00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,770 Do you have a memory 292 00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:06,149 of the… of the moment of being hit with that information 293 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:09,610 and the trauma setting in, or something shutting off at that moment? 294 00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:10,988 Shutting off. 295 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:15,700 Don't feel. Be strong to me, man. 296 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,952 Don't feel. Don't cry. 297 00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:19,954 I wanted to explode. 298 00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:20,831 Mm. 299 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,127 But I had to keep it in. 300 00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:30,423 In a way, I suppose your… your father, he couldn't do that for himself. 301 00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:31,467 He clearly… 302 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,094 No. No. 303 00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:36,388 That was not on the table. 304 00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,101 Mm. 305 00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:45,271 Did you… did you feel moments in life where your dad wasn't there for? 306 00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:47,482 I mean, you played… You were a big athlete. 307 00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:48,983 You were playing water polo. 308 00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:51,778 You were achieving a lot out in the world. 309 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:55,532 Were there moments when you said, "Man, if only dad could be here for this"? 310 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,120 Many. 311 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,089 You ever talk to him? 312 00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:13,759 I've written letters to him. 313 00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:17,095 Not so much lately. 314 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,932 I think I've found real peace around it. 315 00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:23,976 It still makes me feel, 316 00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:28,940 but I think I've… I've really found some peace around it. 317 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,401 Does he ever talk to you? You ever hear his voice? 318 00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:33,862 No. Um… 319 00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:39,660 I've got a very controversial relationship with the universe right now. 320 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,579 I can't see why. 321 00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:47,333 So when you say that, though, like, at this point, 322 00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:50,337 again, as people are watching this, you are at… at peace. 323 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,464 Your body is at peace. 324 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:57,260 So where… where are you? What is the… What is your belief about this? 325 00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:59,095 You want my honest answer? 326 00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:00,555 Mm-hmm, yeah. Well… 327 00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,891 I think when the lights go out, 328 00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:05,434 it's over. 329 00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:06,270 Mm. 330 00:19:07,437 --> 00:19:11,316 I don't… I don't believe that there's a… 331 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:15,529 another place for our souls to go. 332 00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:19,240 I think people believe that stuff 333 00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:22,870 because it provides them with a lot of comfort. 334 00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:26,039 But, um, 335 00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:31,795 I've really come to grips with it. and I think once the lights go out, 336 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:35,048 out with the old, in with the new. 337 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:39,303 - Have you always believed that? - I think so, yeah. 338 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:44,765 I do believe that when we go to sleep, 339 00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:47,603 or however it is we… we go, 340 00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:50,355 once we're gone, we're gone. 341 00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:55,485 And we live on in the memories of the people that will miss us. 342 00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:57,154 Mm. 343 00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:02,075 I… I imagine there's a lot of people missing you a lot right now. 344 00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,161 So you're definitely living on. 345 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:05,871 Yeah. 346 00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:11,752 If I were to ask Georgia and Billie who was their dad, 347 00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:13,962 what do you think they'd say? 348 00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:20,844 I think they would… they would lead with… 349 00:20:21,845 --> 00:20:22,846 um, 350 00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:26,516 I'm a reactive person. 351 00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:31,062 - "My dad was a reactive person." - What would they mean by that? 352 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,606 Not necessarily a negative connotation, 353 00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:37,361 but some of their core memories, 354 00:20:37,861 --> 00:20:41,113 uh, involved me reacting to something. 355 00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:43,033 Like? Give me… give me something. 356 00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:48,205 Uh… You know, traffic is always a good… 357 00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:51,123 a good impetus for that. 358 00:20:51,124 --> 00:20:52,084 Yeah. 359 00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:53,543 Um… 360 00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:58,298 And I think they would… they would say that I was pretty tough. 361 00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:01,259 - Yeah. - Tough as in strong, as in… 362 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,176 Resilient. 363 00:21:02,177 --> 00:21:03,470 - Resilient. - Yeah. 364 00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:05,889 They would say I was loving. 365 00:21:06,723 --> 00:21:08,099 And I was… 366 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:12,270 I was really endearing and compassionate 367 00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:14,314 and empathetic and… 368 00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:16,649 um, 369 00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:18,193 trustworthy. 370 00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:20,195 A good dad? 371 00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,530 I'm a good dad, yeah. 372 00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:25,825 They… they know that… They, they, they would think that too? 373 00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:27,577 - Mm-hmm. Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 374 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:33,666 We did some really great traveling, saw some wonderful places. 375 00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:36,043 Any particular moment that comes in your mind, 376 00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:38,713 highlight of something you guys did together? 377 00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:41,091 We went to Europe one year. 378 00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:43,302 Um… 379 00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:46,388 And there was a time where… 380 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:48,265 …I was, uh… 381 00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:51,183 We were ripping through the French countryside 382 00:21:51,184 --> 00:21:55,272 with the kids in the back of this crazy little car we rented. 383 00:21:55,939 --> 00:21:59,442 Um, and I was flying through the French countryside. 384 00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:03,447 Um, and I would say everything with a French accent. 385 00:22:05,365 --> 00:22:09,494 And for some reason, for that 15 minutes, 386 00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:12,496 my French accent was spot on. 387 00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:15,916 And I have no idea where it came from. 388 00:22:15,917 --> 00:22:18,210 Everybody just in stitches, just laughing. 389 00:22:18,211 --> 00:22:20,422 - Yeah. Yeah. - Mm. 390 00:22:20,964 --> 00:22:24,593 That's the best thing. It's my favorite thing to do. 391 00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:28,972 - Get them all laughing. - And laugh myself too. 392 00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:31,850 How would you describe your style as being a dad? 393 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:39,358 Well, I think… I think showing up is the number one… number one quality. 394 00:22:40,150 --> 00:22:44,237 Um, I haven't been perfect with that. 395 00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:49,284 But I've always been there when it mattered. 396 00:22:49,826 --> 00:22:53,663 Do you… when you say imperfect, do you have regrets about time you spent away? 397 00:22:54,247 --> 00:22:57,584 Yeah. Well, their mother and I are no longer together. 398 00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:03,798 Um, we're still really best friends, but we're not together. 399 00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:07,760 So by… by, you know, 400 00:23:07,761 --> 00:23:11,055 just by virtue of the… the distance 401 00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:14,518 and us living under separate… in separate homes, 402 00:23:15,143 --> 00:23:18,980 you know, there's a lot of… lot of time lost there. 403 00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:21,690 But, you know, 404 00:23:21,691 --> 00:23:26,487 I made sure that I… I can be there as… as much as possible, 405 00:23:26,488 --> 00:23:29,031 and certainly when it counts. 406 00:23:29,032 --> 00:23:31,159 What would you consider "when it counts"? 407 00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:37,541 I've shown up to all of Billie's ballet recitals. 408 00:23:38,333 --> 00:23:40,835 I've been to many Nutcrackers. 409 00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:42,378 And I'll tell you, 410 00:23:42,379 --> 00:23:45,924 there's a couple of pieces in there that are beautiful. 411 00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:49,845 But, Jesus, that thing drones on, man. 412 00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:52,763 - I saw it once, yeah. - Like… like three hours. 413 00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:54,723 Um… 414 00:23:54,724 --> 00:23:56,309 But I've been to all of them. 415 00:23:57,394 --> 00:23:58,311 Uh, 416 00:23:59,020 --> 00:24:02,148 I go to Georgia's beach volleyball games. 417 00:24:02,149 --> 00:24:04,943 I'm present in their lives, 418 00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:07,529 whether I'm in front of them 419 00:24:08,363 --> 00:24:11,658 or 2,000 miles away. 420 00:24:12,242 --> 00:24:13,118 Right. 421 00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:15,828 So, with Rebecca, 422 00:24:15,829 --> 00:24:18,998 who you met and fell in love with quickly, 423 00:24:18,999 --> 00:24:23,170 how would you describe the essence of that relationship and that love affair? 424 00:24:23,753 --> 00:24:26,590 Well, we still love each other deeply. 425 00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:30,010 I just think we don't wanna live with each other. 426 00:24:30,552 --> 00:24:34,431 But there's a lot of love there. I'll… I'll never… 427 00:24:34,931 --> 00:24:39,101 I will have never, by the time anybody sees this, 428 00:24:39,102 --> 00:24:44,357 have fallen in love with another woman as deeply as I fell in love with Rebecca. 429 00:24:45,066 --> 00:24:47,652 She's the mother of my children. 430 00:24:48,153 --> 00:24:52,115 And the whole way that thing came about, it was so… 431 00:24:53,825 --> 00:24:58,245 …organic and fortuitous. 432 00:24:58,246 --> 00:25:00,081 I met Rebecca, 433 00:25:00,624 --> 00:25:04,376 and I turned to her friend, and I said, "I'm gonna marry that girl." 434 00:25:04,377 --> 00:25:05,837 How did you know? 435 00:25:06,838 --> 00:25:08,839 I have no idea. 436 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:12,468 I have no idea how serious I was in that moment. 437 00:25:12,469 --> 00:25:13,929 But I said that. 438 00:25:14,679 --> 00:25:19,433 And her friend said, "No way. She's never breaking up with her fiancé." 439 00:25:19,434 --> 00:25:22,854 "They're getting married. They've been together since they were 15." 440 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,148 You know, four years later, I married her. 441 00:25:26,107 --> 00:25:31,904 I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life where it's supposed to happen. 442 00:25:31,905 --> 00:25:34,782 Does she know you better than anybody? She knows you the most? 443 00:25:34,783 --> 00:25:36,034 A hundred percent. 444 00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:40,621 What would she say if… if I asked her who, who, who was Eric? 445 00:25:40,622 --> 00:25:41,957 Oh wow. 446 00:25:43,083 --> 00:25:46,962 Well, she would say that I was probably… 447 00:25:48,213 --> 00:25:51,216 um, a person who was 448 00:25:53,093 --> 00:25:57,347 constantly vulnerable and terrified of being vulnerable. 449 00:25:57,847 --> 00:25:58,765 Mm-hmm. 450 00:26:00,892 --> 00:26:03,186 I think she would say that, uh, 451 00:26:04,521 --> 00:26:05,897 I was funny. 452 00:26:07,941 --> 00:26:09,233 Um… 453 00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:13,154 I think she would say that I was charming and didn't know it. 454 00:26:13,863 --> 00:26:16,865 You don't know you're charming, or that quality that you have, 455 00:26:16,866 --> 00:26:20,911 that, that, that star… charming quality, that's just…? 456 00:26:20,912 --> 00:26:23,498 I would argue I didn't have it. 457 00:26:24,291 --> 00:26:28,002 Well, I don't know if you can have it and know that you have it. 458 00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:30,504 Makes sense. Then it's inauthentic, right? 459 00:26:30,505 --> 00:26:33,257 I think it'd be inauthentic, yeah. 460 00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:36,803 So what happened between the two of you? Why did the marriage not work out? 461 00:26:37,846 --> 00:26:44,101 I think Rebecca was more willing to show up and do her part than I was. 462 00:26:44,102 --> 00:26:46,313 How come? How come you weren't? 463 00:26:47,564 --> 00:26:50,025 I don't have that, uh… 464 00:26:52,527 --> 00:26:55,071 that gene that just, uh… 465 00:26:56,615 --> 00:27:01,452 uh, makes you wanna keep going regardless of what's happening. 466 00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:04,788 I'm like, if there's a hole in the boat, 467 00:27:04,789 --> 00:27:07,042 don't try to patch the hole. 468 00:27:07,542 --> 00:27:11,045 Scuttle the damn thing, and go find a new one. 469 00:27:11,046 --> 00:27:11,921 Mm. 470 00:27:13,089 --> 00:27:17,885 And that's how… that's how you approached big problems in the past, 471 00:27:17,886 --> 00:27:19,386 in your life in general? 472 00:27:19,387 --> 00:27:20,555 Yeah. 473 00:27:22,140 --> 00:27:23,308 I have. 474 00:27:24,309 --> 00:27:25,977 But you can't do that now. 475 00:27:26,936 --> 00:27:27,854 No. 476 00:27:28,355 --> 00:27:32,567 Does that change your perspective on that strategy? 477 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:36,654 Yes. 478 00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:41,576 I've always been envious of people who fight and persevere. 479 00:27:42,952 --> 00:27:45,997 Rebecca's a fighter, and she perseveres. 480 00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:49,166 But you clearly have a ton of perseverance. Maybe it was-- 481 00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:52,753 I don't know. Is resiliency the same thing? 482 00:27:52,754 --> 00:27:54,338 I don't know. What do you think? 483 00:27:54,339 --> 00:27:56,757 How do you see the difference between those two things? 484 00:27:56,758 --> 00:28:01,387 I think one is, uh, a, a coping mechanism 485 00:28:01,388 --> 00:28:03,180 or an act of defense, 486 00:28:03,181 --> 00:28:06,059 and the other is more, um, 487 00:28:07,143 --> 00:28:08,478 uh, proactive. 488 00:28:09,312 --> 00:28:14,984 I think perseverance is something that you do to something. 489 00:28:15,735 --> 00:28:16,569 Right. 490 00:28:17,070 --> 00:28:20,907 But when you describe really living every moment up until the end 491 00:28:21,408 --> 00:28:24,326 and having to be really present, that feels like perseverance, 492 00:28:24,327 --> 00:28:25,286 not resilience. 493 00:28:25,995 --> 00:28:29,666 - Resilience feels like survival. - Yeah, you're right. 494 00:28:32,043 --> 00:28:34,379 Resiliency is survival. 495 00:28:35,755 --> 00:28:39,384 And do you feel like most of your life, you've been surviving? 496 00:28:41,511 --> 00:28:45,931 Well, now that you mention it, Brad… 497 00:28:45,932 --> 00:28:47,975 Um… yeah, 498 00:28:47,976 --> 00:28:52,271 I have displayed some perseverance in there in a few spots. 499 00:28:52,272 --> 00:28:53,939 I think so. 500 00:28:53,940 --> 00:28:56,024 It looks that way from here, you know? 501 00:28:56,025 --> 00:28:57,317 - Yeah. - Certainly. 502 00:28:57,318 --> 00:28:59,778 And not just… not just with the ALS. 503 00:28:59,779 --> 00:29:02,781 That, that, that just goes to… to show 504 00:29:02,782 --> 00:29:08,663 that I have a warped sense of… of, uh, who I am. 505 00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:13,375 So two questions. What's the warped sense, and what's the true sense, do you think? 506 00:29:13,376 --> 00:29:15,670 What's the warped sense of who you are to you? 507 00:29:16,254 --> 00:29:18,130 - The warped sense? - Who you were. 508 00:29:18,131 --> 00:29:19,548 Okay. Okay. 509 00:29:19,549 --> 00:29:25,345 Listen, the warped sense is, uh, as I am, I am not enough. 510 00:29:25,346 --> 00:29:26,306 Mm. 511 00:29:28,183 --> 00:29:32,562 And, uh, I'm not deserving 512 00:29:33,229 --> 00:29:36,191 of, of having, uh, 513 00:29:37,192 --> 00:29:38,485 a great life. 514 00:29:40,278 --> 00:29:42,614 I'm a little different than everybody. 515 00:29:43,740 --> 00:29:48,119 You know, my life experience was very unique at that point. 516 00:29:50,288 --> 00:29:54,959 And it made me feel like, as I was, I was not enough. 517 00:29:57,378 --> 00:30:00,131 And the reality of that is, 518 00:30:01,299 --> 00:30:03,426 I was absolutely 519 00:30:04,511 --> 00:30:06,429 more than enough. 520 00:30:08,389 --> 00:30:09,974 When did you realize that? 521 00:30:11,810 --> 00:30:14,437 About two minutes ago. 522 00:30:15,355 --> 00:30:16,522 Um… 523 00:30:16,523 --> 00:30:18,942 I realized that, uh, 524 00:30:19,567 --> 00:30:23,279 you know, this thing has made me a little bit softer, 525 00:30:23,780 --> 00:30:25,698 a little bit more open, 526 00:30:26,407 --> 00:30:28,493 and a little bit more, um… 527 00:30:29,452 --> 00:30:32,121 uh, available 528 00:30:32,956 --> 00:30:36,918 to experience the truths about myself. 529 00:30:37,502 --> 00:30:39,795 My friends remind me too. 530 00:30:39,796 --> 00:30:41,589 All I'm left with is… 531 00:30:42,090 --> 00:30:43,341 is me. 532 00:30:44,092 --> 00:30:46,844 And it's kind of a fucked-up way of realizing 533 00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:49,680 that you were enough the whole time. 534 00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:56,311 When everything gets taken away, and all you have left is this person. 535 00:30:56,312 --> 00:30:58,939 Do you still have judgment about yourself sometimes, 536 00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:00,733 or do you totally put that away? 537 00:31:01,568 --> 00:31:02,527 Buried it. 538 00:31:04,904 --> 00:31:07,114 Ain't nothing left to judge. 539 00:31:09,742 --> 00:31:12,160 What would you tell people watching this, 540 00:31:12,161 --> 00:31:15,206 how they should live or treat themselves or…? 541 00:31:15,915 --> 00:31:19,669 You know, I don't think I can tell anybody how they should live. 542 00:31:20,461 --> 00:31:24,215 I would make a gentle… a gentle suggestion. 543 00:31:25,216 --> 00:31:28,260 Every opportunity, 544 00:31:28,261 --> 00:31:31,639 every single opportunity you have 545 00:31:32,140 --> 00:31:34,267 to stomp on your ego… 546 00:31:36,519 --> 00:31:37,519 take it. 547 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:38,396 Mm. 548 00:31:39,939 --> 00:31:42,065 Did you ever do that before this? 549 00:31:42,066 --> 00:31:43,942 Yes, I've worked on it. 550 00:31:43,943 --> 00:31:46,362 I'm under construction. 551 00:31:48,656 --> 00:31:50,867 - We all are, right? - Yeah. 552 00:31:51,367 --> 00:31:53,077 Do you have any particular… 553 00:31:54,662 --> 00:31:55,662 life hacks? 554 00:31:55,663 --> 00:31:58,248 You know, I always tell my son, when you shave, 555 00:31:58,249 --> 00:32:01,084 shave in ways so that if you have to stop in the middle, 556 00:32:01,085 --> 00:32:04,171 you won't look silly. So first the bottom and then the sides. 557 00:32:04,172 --> 00:32:05,339 - Right. - And so that… 558 00:32:05,340 --> 00:32:07,174 - An earthquake could happen. - Okay. 559 00:32:07,175 --> 00:32:10,677 And so these are… these are random life hacks that any human has 560 00:32:10,678 --> 00:32:13,264 that kind of die with them because they're so silly. 561 00:32:13,765 --> 00:32:15,182 Do you have any of those? 562 00:32:15,183 --> 00:32:16,392 Um… 563 00:32:18,186 --> 00:32:22,315 Well, you know, I think you should always make your bed. 564 00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:29,113 And I don't have a "make your bed" speech, but you should always make your bed. 565 00:32:29,614 --> 00:32:31,031 Because at the very least, 566 00:32:31,032 --> 00:32:35,536 if you wanna, like, hide from the world and jump back in it, 567 00:32:36,037 --> 00:32:37,537 it looks inviting. 568 00:32:39,248 --> 00:32:40,333 It's a good one. 569 00:32:40,833 --> 00:32:42,501 I got girls. 570 00:32:42,502 --> 00:32:44,753 I can't teach them how to shave. 571 00:32:44,754 --> 00:32:46,255 No. 572 00:32:46,756 --> 00:32:49,717 But you must have shaved your legs for water polo, yeah? 573 00:32:50,259 --> 00:32:52,844 No, I didn't have to. I'm virtually hairless. 574 00:32:52,845 --> 00:32:54,097 Oh, really? 575 00:32:55,848 --> 00:32:58,600 I find nothing more impressive than water polo players. 576 00:32:58,601 --> 00:33:00,394 That, to me, is real athleticism, 577 00:33:00,395 --> 00:33:03,230 to be able to play that game while swimming. 578 00:33:03,231 --> 00:33:05,315 Yeah. I was really good. 579 00:33:05,316 --> 00:33:07,150 - Were you? - I was. 580 00:33:07,151 --> 00:33:09,904 Good enough to say I was really good. 581 00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:14,408 From everything else we've said, I don't think you would have said you were 582 00:33:14,409 --> 00:33:15,909 unless you were really good. 583 00:33:15,910 --> 00:33:18,620 It would've taken a lot to overcome your insecurity. 584 00:33:18,621 --> 00:33:21,081 - Right. - You have to have undeniable evidence. 585 00:33:21,082 --> 00:33:24,209 Undeniable evidence that I was really good. 586 00:33:24,210 --> 00:33:26,671 What else are you undeniably good at? 587 00:33:27,171 --> 00:33:29,173 That's a great question. 588 00:33:30,925 --> 00:33:32,176 Wow. 589 00:33:33,511 --> 00:33:36,722 I was undeniably a good tennis player. 590 00:33:36,723 --> 00:33:37,682 Mm. 591 00:33:38,474 --> 00:33:43,687 I think I had my moments in my career where I was undeniably good. 592 00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:47,482 I wouldn't say undeniably amazing, 593 00:33:47,483 --> 00:33:49,359 but I was undeniably good. 594 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:50,737 When would those be? 595 00:33:52,113 --> 00:33:53,114 Hmm. 596 00:33:53,656 --> 00:33:57,201 You know, some of the early days on Grey's Anatomy. 597 00:33:57,702 --> 00:34:01,204 I just felt like on… on the whole, 598 00:34:01,205 --> 00:34:05,126 that experience was very gratifying, 599 00:34:05,918 --> 00:34:09,421 even when I tried to sink the ship. 600 00:34:09,422 --> 00:34:10,505 Mm-hmm. 601 00:34:10,506 --> 00:34:14,509 This is when your addiction got overwhelming during that time. 602 00:34:14,510 --> 00:34:18,722 Yeah. I am not good with a lot of time on my hands. 603 00:34:18,723 --> 00:34:20,183 I need structure, 604 00:34:20,683 --> 00:34:24,604 and that show provided a lot of structure for me. 605 00:34:25,271 --> 00:34:26,189 Um… 606 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:32,028 And when we… we stopped short for the writers' strike, 607 00:34:32,528 --> 00:34:34,238 I had months off, 608 00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:36,157 and, uh, 609 00:34:36,908 --> 00:34:41,828 I found my way back to, uh, drugs and alcohol. 610 00:34:41,829 --> 00:34:45,249 There was a self-sabotage that went on there during that. 611 00:34:45,833 --> 00:34:49,754 Yeah. But, uh, I knew better, 612 00:34:50,463 --> 00:34:53,215 because, uh, at that time, 613 00:34:53,216 --> 00:34:56,677 I had been sober for about nine years. 614 00:34:57,970 --> 00:34:59,555 So I knew better. 615 00:35:00,056 --> 00:35:04,143 And you don't think that overcoming addiction like that is perseverance? 616 00:35:06,687 --> 00:35:08,648 I think it's resilience. 617 00:35:09,607 --> 00:35:12,692 Sobriety is an action, and it's an action you take every day. 618 00:35:12,693 --> 00:35:13,819 That's true. 619 00:35:13,820 --> 00:35:16,780 That seems like your definition of perseverance to me. 620 00:35:16,781 --> 00:35:20,992 That's true. Well, I guess maybe there's a little perseverance in there too. 621 00:35:23,204 --> 00:35:27,040 All right. We… we talked about who your family thought Eric Dane was, 622 00:35:27,041 --> 00:35:29,669 but who do you think Eric Dane was? 623 00:35:33,172 --> 00:35:34,882 He was a kind… 624 00:35:38,761 --> 00:35:40,054 thoughtful, 625 00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:42,140 considerate… 626 00:35:44,809 --> 00:35:46,227 empathetic, 627 00:35:47,019 --> 00:35:48,479 sensitive… 628 00:35:53,234 --> 00:35:54,652 vulnerable, 629 00:35:55,236 --> 00:35:57,864 even though afraid to be at times, 630 00:35:59,699 --> 00:36:02,076 person who cares a lot. 631 00:36:02,743 --> 00:36:05,912 It's hard to be somebody who's extraordinarily sensitive. 632 00:36:05,913 --> 00:36:10,750 To feel as… as deeply and intensely as I feel all the time? 633 00:36:10,751 --> 00:36:13,796 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. It's exhausting. 634 00:36:14,338 --> 00:36:16,840 And now are people gentler with… I guess they are. 635 00:36:16,841 --> 00:36:19,092 People are probably much gentler with you now. 636 00:36:19,093 --> 00:36:21,220 I'm much gentler with them. 637 00:36:22,388 --> 00:36:23,597 Yeah. 638 00:36:23,598 --> 00:36:24,807 Do you have regrets? 639 00:36:25,683 --> 00:36:26,809 Tons. 640 00:36:27,727 --> 00:36:28,643 Yes. 641 00:36:28,644 --> 00:36:29,478 What? 642 00:36:30,188 --> 00:36:32,856 I regret some of the decisions I've made, 643 00:36:32,857 --> 00:36:37,195 some of the choices I've made surrounding drugs and alcohol. 644 00:36:37,737 --> 00:36:39,655 Have you forgiven yourself for them? 645 00:36:41,073 --> 00:36:42,491 Well… 646 00:36:43,784 --> 00:36:45,744 There are a couple of things. 647 00:36:45,745 --> 00:36:47,871 I mean, yeah… 648 00:36:47,872 --> 00:36:51,709 No, I… I feel like I've let go of pretty much everything. 649 00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:53,628 What's that feel like? 650 00:36:54,128 --> 00:36:55,796 It's very freeing. 651 00:36:56,297 --> 00:36:58,841 So what if you don't like me? 652 00:37:01,969 --> 00:37:05,347 Man, I wish I could feel like this when I was a… 653 00:37:05,348 --> 00:37:09,435 Like, you know, able-bodied and strong and healthy. 654 00:37:10,019 --> 00:37:11,269 It's like it flipped. 655 00:37:11,270 --> 00:37:14,272 Your inside became your outside. Your outside became your inside. 656 00:37:14,273 --> 00:37:15,107 Yeah. 657 00:37:17,735 --> 00:37:19,153 I don't mind that. 658 00:37:19,654 --> 00:37:21,446 But at the same time, 659 00:37:21,447 --> 00:37:25,784 I'm not gonna be around for my kids for a lot of… 660 00:37:25,785 --> 00:37:28,162 Most likely, I won't be around 661 00:37:28,663 --> 00:37:32,624 to, you know, walk my kids, my girls down the aisle 662 00:37:32,625 --> 00:37:36,045 and, you know, have grandkids, and… 663 00:37:37,338 --> 00:37:38,714 That's, um… 664 00:37:39,382 --> 00:37:41,550 That's a tough thing to deal with. 665 00:37:42,301 --> 00:37:43,261 Um… 666 00:37:44,011 --> 00:37:47,847 Have you thought about getting to a point where you say, "I think I might be done"? 667 00:37:47,848 --> 00:37:49,642 Uh, yes. 668 00:37:51,227 --> 00:37:56,231 Yes, I have a… a set of, of circumstances 669 00:37:56,232 --> 00:37:58,650 I don't think I'm willing to deal with. 670 00:37:58,651 --> 00:38:01,152 I may feel differently at this time, 671 00:38:01,153 --> 00:38:05,198 but I guess by the time anybody sees this, 672 00:38:05,199 --> 00:38:08,159 they will have known if I stuck to that. 673 00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:10,871 But I'll tell you, if, uh… 674 00:38:11,497 --> 00:38:14,917 if I can't communicate with my daughters anymore 675 00:38:15,459 --> 00:38:17,169 and I can't move, 676 00:38:18,296 --> 00:38:19,797 I don't wanna be here. 677 00:38:23,759 --> 00:38:26,386 I know you've done a lot of work to try and raise money 678 00:38:26,387 --> 00:38:31,349 and to get, uh, politicians to be, um… actively working 679 00:38:31,350 --> 00:38:33,977 to get government funding behind ALS. 680 00:38:33,978 --> 00:38:36,479 And I know, uh, in… in the recent times, 681 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:40,150 there's been a lot of funding cuts for those things. 682 00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:42,403 - Mm. - Could everyone be doing more? 683 00:38:43,362 --> 00:38:45,281 Yeah, I mean, it's kind of silly. 684 00:38:45,781 --> 00:38:46,699 Um… 685 00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:49,869 Apparently, from what I gather, 686 00:38:50,369 --> 00:38:51,536 uh, 687 00:38:51,537 --> 00:38:54,623 the research is fueled by money. 688 00:38:55,124 --> 00:38:57,877 And it's just a money problem. 689 00:38:58,502 --> 00:39:01,338 If they had unlimited funds and research, 690 00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:04,258 we would find a solution to this pretty quick. 691 00:39:04,925 --> 00:39:09,638 There's only 31,000 people with ALS in this country. 692 00:39:10,765 --> 00:39:16,436 There's 340 million people in the United States of America. 693 00:39:16,437 --> 00:39:18,814 I think it's hard to 694 00:39:20,274 --> 00:39:23,652 understand the concept of a single life. 695 00:39:24,820 --> 00:39:25,738 Um, 696 00:39:26,238 --> 00:39:31,117 and how big that single life can be and how many people it affects. 697 00:39:31,118 --> 00:39:33,537 And when you're an executive 698 00:39:34,163 --> 00:39:37,583 looking at, uh, numbers… 699 00:39:39,585 --> 00:39:42,922 I still can't believe this is happening to me. 700 00:39:43,756 --> 00:39:47,218 It's weird, you know? 701 00:39:48,010 --> 00:39:52,847 I didn't think this was gonna be the end of the road for me. 702 00:39:52,848 --> 00:39:57,395 This was never part of the story I created for myself. 703 00:39:58,604 --> 00:39:59,772 You know? 704 00:40:01,690 --> 00:40:08,488 I didn't think I would get something as crazy and deadly as ALS. 705 00:40:08,489 --> 00:40:13,077 Like, why would I get something like that? 706 00:40:13,661 --> 00:40:14,703 You know? 707 00:40:16,914 --> 00:40:18,290 I'm healthy. 708 00:40:19,708 --> 00:40:22,878 But I don't feel sorry for myself. 709 00:40:23,379 --> 00:40:28,551 I feel bad for my kids and Rebecca and my friends. 710 00:40:29,093 --> 00:40:32,430 But I've… I've never felt sorry for myself. 711 00:40:33,305 --> 00:40:35,890 - It's remarkable. - I don't know what it is, man. 712 00:40:35,891 --> 00:40:37,308 Like I said, 713 00:40:37,309 --> 00:40:42,273 there's absolutely no logical explanation 714 00:40:43,315 --> 00:40:45,067 for me to, um… 715 00:40:47,153 --> 00:40:50,448 be dealing with this the way I've been dealing with it. 716 00:40:50,948 --> 00:40:54,910 I mean, it almost feels like something was taken from you. 717 00:40:55,411 --> 00:40:58,246 A spirit was taken from you when you were seven 718 00:40:58,247 --> 00:41:00,081 and what happened with your dad. 719 00:41:00,082 --> 00:41:04,545 And this has, in some ways, allowed you to have it back. 720 00:41:05,045 --> 00:41:07,465 I guess so. Yeah. 721 00:41:09,133 --> 00:41:09,967 Yeah. 722 00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:14,430 That's pretty good, Brad. 723 00:41:18,100 --> 00:41:21,604 Is there anything that you would wanna leave out there before… 724 00:41:23,022 --> 00:41:25,899 I never murdered anybody, Brad. 725 00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:27,985 I believe you. I believe you. 726 00:41:28,569 --> 00:41:31,362 I don't… I can't imagine you ever really hurt anybody, 727 00:41:31,363 --> 00:41:32,864 truly hurt anybody. 728 00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:36,159 I punched a couple of people, but they deserved it. 729 00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:39,162 There you go. Sometimes you gotta punch people. 730 00:41:39,163 --> 00:41:40,164 That's true. 731 00:41:40,664 --> 00:41:42,708 What were the… Why did you punch them? 732 00:41:43,375 --> 00:41:45,252 Well, somebody came at me. 733 00:41:45,836 --> 00:41:47,128 And I socked him. 734 00:41:47,129 --> 00:41:48,505 Did you connect? 735 00:41:48,506 --> 00:41:50,089 Oh yeah. 736 00:41:50,090 --> 00:41:51,050 Yeah. 737 00:41:52,176 --> 00:41:55,429 I don't have anything really crazy to confess. 738 00:41:56,555 --> 00:41:58,807 - I kind of wish I did. - Mm. 739 00:41:59,642 --> 00:42:01,894 I've had a lot of fun. 740 00:42:03,312 --> 00:42:07,733 Some unhealthy, some very, very unhealthy. 741 00:42:08,234 --> 00:42:10,027 But you look back fondly on all of it. 742 00:42:11,362 --> 00:42:12,571 Most of it. 743 00:42:13,197 --> 00:42:14,365 Most of it. 744 00:42:15,783 --> 00:42:18,911 Okay, so we've come to the end of the conversation. 745 00:42:19,411 --> 00:42:22,414 It's been pretty transformative for me. 746 00:42:23,374 --> 00:42:27,878 And the way you demonstrated what perseverance means 747 00:42:28,379 --> 00:42:30,255 and what being present means. 748 00:42:30,256 --> 00:42:32,715 So thank you for being so honest. 749 00:42:32,716 --> 00:42:37,263 Thank you for allowing me to have this conversation with you. 750 00:42:39,056 --> 00:42:41,559 I mean, I think this is probably the most, um… 751 00:42:43,852 --> 00:42:48,148 revealing and in-depth conversation I've had with just about anybody. 752 00:42:48,649 --> 00:42:49,817 I'm really glad. 753 00:42:50,442 --> 00:42:53,696 You asked, uh, the right questions. 754 00:42:54,822 --> 00:42:56,365 You… you are 755 00:42:57,366 --> 00:43:00,743 an excellent tennis partner to do this with. 756 00:43:00,744 --> 00:43:02,705 Thank you for saying that. 757 00:43:03,664 --> 00:43:05,749 And so now I'm gonna leave the room. 758 00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:10,211 Now you have an opportunity to say goodbye in your own words. 759 00:43:10,212 --> 00:43:13,006 You're gonna look at that camera over there. 760 00:43:13,007 --> 00:43:18,595 And I hope that Georgia and Billie know their dad after watching this. 761 00:43:18,596 --> 00:43:20,389 So thank you, Eric. 762 00:43:21,890 --> 00:43:23,309 Thank you, Brad. 763 00:43:31,900 --> 00:43:35,654 Billie and Georgia, these words are for you. 764 00:43:36,488 --> 00:43:37,823 I tried. 765 00:43:39,366 --> 00:43:42,244 I stumbled sometimes, but I tried. 766 00:43:43,662 --> 00:43:46,540 Overall, we had a blast, didn't we? 767 00:43:47,583 --> 00:43:50,711 I remember all the times we spent at the beach. 768 00:43:51,253 --> 00:43:55,841 The two of you, me, and Mom in Malibu, Santa Monica… 769 00:44:02,056 --> 00:44:05,392 Santa Monica, Hawaii, Mexico. 770 00:44:06,143 --> 00:44:09,062 I see you now playing in the ocean for hours, 771 00:44:09,063 --> 00:44:10,981 my water babies. 772 00:44:12,274 --> 00:44:15,235 Those days, pun intended, were heaven. 773 00:44:17,821 --> 00:44:21,741 I wanna tell you four things I've learned from this disease, 774 00:44:21,742 --> 00:44:23,868 and I hope you won't just listen to me. 775 00:44:23,869 --> 00:44:25,621 I hope you'll hear me. 776 00:44:27,748 --> 00:44:30,626 First, live now, 777 00:44:31,877 --> 00:44:34,713 right now, in the present. 778 00:44:35,422 --> 00:44:38,217 It's hard, but I learned to do that. 779 00:44:39,259 --> 00:44:44,932 For years, I would wander off mentally, lost in my head for long chunks of time, 780 00:44:45,432 --> 00:44:49,561 wallowing in worry and self-pity, shame, and doubt. 781 00:44:50,354 --> 00:44:52,397 I replayed decisions, 782 00:44:52,398 --> 00:44:53,940 second-guessed myself. 783 00:44:53,941 --> 00:44:57,486 "I should have done this." "I never should have done that." 784 00:44:58,112 --> 00:44:59,238 No more. 785 00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:04,159 Out of pure survival, I am forced to stay in the present. 786 00:45:06,161 --> 00:45:08,414 But I don't wanna be anywhere else. 787 00:45:08,914 --> 00:45:11,375 The past contains regrets. 788 00:45:11,875 --> 00:45:14,128 The future remains unknown. 789 00:45:14,628 --> 00:45:16,714 So you have to live now. 790 00:45:17,715 --> 00:45:19,883 The present is all you have. 791 00:45:20,384 --> 00:45:23,470 Treasure it. Cherish every moment. 792 00:45:23,971 --> 00:45:26,515 Second, fall in love. 793 00:45:27,891 --> 00:45:29,934 Not necessarily with a person, 794 00:45:29,935 --> 00:45:33,020 although I do recommend that as well. 795 00:45:33,021 --> 00:45:34,898 But fall in love with something. 796 00:45:35,399 --> 00:45:37,943 Find your passion, your joy. 797 00:45:38,694 --> 00:45:41,947 Find the thing that makes you wanna get up in the morning. 798 00:45:43,282 --> 00:45:45,659 Drives you through the entire day. 799 00:45:46,702 --> 00:45:49,912 I fell in love for the first time when I was about your age. 800 00:45:49,913 --> 00:45:51,540 I fell in love with acting. 801 00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:56,003 That love eventually got me through my darkest hours, 802 00:45:56,712 --> 00:45:58,505 my darkest days, 803 00:45:59,006 --> 00:46:01,091 my darkest year. 804 00:46:02,176 --> 00:46:05,553 I still love my work. I still look forward to it. 805 00:46:05,554 --> 00:46:09,224 I still wanna get in front of a camera and play my part. 806 00:46:10,392 --> 00:46:13,896 My work doesn't define me, but it excites me. 807 00:46:14,563 --> 00:46:15,981 Find something. 808 00:46:17,316 --> 00:46:19,693 Find something that excites you. 809 00:46:20,235 --> 00:46:21,819 Find your path. 810 00:46:21,820 --> 00:46:23,738 Your purpose. 811 00:46:23,739 --> 00:46:25,032 Your dream. 812 00:46:25,616 --> 00:46:26,992 Then go for it. 813 00:46:27,493 --> 00:46:29,495 Really go for it. 814 00:46:30,537 --> 00:46:34,792 Third, choose your friends wisely. 815 00:46:35,834 --> 00:46:39,295 Find your people and allow them to find you, 816 00:46:39,296 --> 00:46:41,632 and then give yourselves to them. 817 00:46:42,883 --> 00:46:45,219 The best of them will give back to you. 818 00:46:45,719 --> 00:46:47,220 No judgment. 819 00:46:47,221 --> 00:46:48,971 No conditions. 820 00:46:48,972 --> 00:46:50,974 No questions asked. 821 00:46:51,475 --> 00:46:55,229 I'm so thankful for my very close family and friends. 822 00:46:55,729 --> 00:46:57,940 Every single one has stepped up. 823 00:46:58,774 --> 00:47:01,860 I can't do even the little things I used to do. 824 00:47:02,402 --> 00:47:06,990 I can't drive around town, go to the gym, get coffee, hang out. 825 00:47:07,950 --> 00:47:10,535 I've learned to embrace alternatives. 826 00:47:10,536 --> 00:47:11,994 My friends come to me. 827 00:47:11,995 --> 00:47:16,416 We eat together, watch a game, listen to music. 828 00:47:17,125 --> 00:47:19,878 They don't do anything special. They just show up. 829 00:47:20,379 --> 00:47:21,838 That's a big one. 830 00:47:21,839 --> 00:47:23,382 Just show up. 831 00:47:24,967 --> 00:47:28,262 And love your friends with everything you have. 832 00:47:30,013 --> 00:47:31,431 Hang on to them. 833 00:47:31,932 --> 00:47:34,852 They will entertain you, guide you, 834 00:47:35,352 --> 00:47:39,022 help you, support you, and some will save you. 835 00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:42,609 Finally, 836 00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:48,282 fight with every ounce of your being and with dignity. 837 00:47:49,241 --> 00:47:51,368 When you face challenges, 838 00:47:51,869 --> 00:47:54,663 health or otherwise, fight. 839 00:47:55,956 --> 00:47:57,040 Never give up. 840 00:47:57,541 --> 00:48:00,252 Fight until your last breath. 841 00:48:02,004 --> 00:48:05,131 This disease is slowly taking my body, 842 00:48:05,132 --> 00:48:07,926 but it will never take my spirit. 843 00:48:10,596 --> 00:48:13,098 The two of you are different people. 844 00:48:14,141 --> 00:48:17,519 But you're both strong and resilient. 845 00:48:18,103 --> 00:48:20,898 You inherited resiliency from me. 846 00:48:21,398 --> 00:48:23,442 That's my superpower. 847 00:48:23,942 --> 00:48:27,988 You knock me down, I bounce right up, and I keep coming back. 848 00:48:28,488 --> 00:48:31,700 I get up again and again and again. 849 00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:34,244 Mark says I'm like a cat. 850 00:48:34,745 --> 00:48:40,584 Except a cat has nine lives, and I'm on number 15 easily. 851 00:48:41,376 --> 00:48:45,964 So when something unexpected hits you, and it will, because that's life, 852 00:48:46,465 --> 00:48:50,343 fight and face it with honesty, integrity, and grace, 853 00:48:50,344 --> 00:48:53,972 even if it feels or seems insurmountable. 854 00:48:54,598 --> 00:48:58,017 I hope I've demonstrated that you can face anything. 855 00:48:58,018 --> 00:49:00,436 You can face the end of your days. 856 00:49:00,437 --> 00:49:03,690 You can face hell with dignity. 857 00:49:04,524 --> 00:49:08,403 Fight, girls, and hold your heads high. 858 00:49:09,321 --> 00:49:11,114 Billie and Georgia, 859 00:49:11,615 --> 00:49:13,116 you are my heart. 860 00:49:13,825 --> 00:49:15,619 You are my everything. 861 00:49:16,119 --> 00:49:17,411 Good night. 862 00:49:17,412 --> 00:49:18,705 I love you. 863 00:49:19,706 --> 00:49:21,917 Those are my last words. 66201

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.