Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:13,138
Step away from the Tarnation Casket,
Baron Thistle.
2
00:00:13,221 --> 00:00:15,598
You cannot stop me, Arbor Knight.
3
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,475
Once the stream is activated,
4
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:20,395
the negative feedback
will rip your world apart.
5
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,649
We have 1.32 minutes before the...
6
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:25,859
What the fuck is happening?
7
00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:27,235
Are you following any of this?
8
00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:28,361
I'm so lost.
9
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:29,988
Should we turn the subtitles back on?
10
00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:31,364
- Shh!
- nano-configuration,
11
00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,992
causing the Tarnation Casket
to self-implode.
12
00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:35,326
But that's impossible!
13
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:36,661
Nothing's impossible.
14
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:38,621
We're the Robo-Trees.
15
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,874
You're Arbor Knight, our leader.
16
00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:43,043
Red Wood, you're the hothead.
17
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:46,379
Palme D'or,
you're our resident super-genius.
18
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:49,215
Cypress,
you're our girl boss boss-lady.
19
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:55,263
And I'm Tannenbaum, here to get
your rears in gear. Whoo.
20
00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:57,390
Did he seriously
reintroduce each character?
21
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,851
- This is the ninth movie.
- Die, Tannenbaum! You suck!
22
00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:02,228
Guys, you're talking
over the whole ending.
23
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,527
This is not over, Robo-Trees.
24
00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:14,324
Your day of reckoning
will soon be at hand.
25
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:17,535
Don't just stand there, Red Wood.
He's still in range. Shoot him!
26
00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:19,245
You're literally holding a gun.
27
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:22,082
Robo-Trees, let's go home.
28
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:24,292
Yeah. I need a bath.
29
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:26,711
'Cause I'm stinky.
30
00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:29,506
It's a Maximum Velocitree...
31
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:32,092
Ugh. Not exactly Citizen Kane.
32
00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:33,718
I kinda loved it.
33
00:01:33,802 --> 00:01:36,012
Oh, God. Rick! What are you doing?
34
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,491
I don't know what to do
with these feelings, Jerry.
35
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,058
This used to be
my favorite franchise.
36
00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:41,935
Maybe it's time
to like something else.
37
00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:44,270
No! I wanna talk to the manager.
38
00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,777
- You in charge?
- Yeah.
39
00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:52,153
I'm James Gunn.
40
00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:54,823
Hey! Bradley Cooper carved that desk.
41
00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:57,283
What was up
with that last Maximum Velocitree?
42
00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,410
- You didn't like it?
- I thought it was great.
43
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:02,163
You're ruining my childhood.
Which is still ongoing.
44
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,958
Stop eating up screen time
with stupid comic relief characters
45
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:07,085
and put more cool shit in the story!
46
00:02:07,585 --> 00:02:09,295
Guys, I'm a fan too.
47
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:12,173
Why do you think Warner Bros. Put me
behind that desk you now owe me?
48
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:13,901
So you could pitch Batman ideas
to yourself?
49
00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:15,051
Exactly.
50
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,320
And you know what I've learned?
51
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:18,638
Making movies isn't easy.
52
00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:22,267
The next Maximum Velocitree movie
has been rewritten 40 times.
53
00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:23,393
Thirty by me.
54
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:26,062
Now, we'll spend five years
and half a billion making it,
55
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:29,023
but in the end, know what
will make fans like you like it?
56
00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:30,984
- A fucking miracle.
- No.
57
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:33,570
What the next Maximum Velocitree
film needs is us.
58
00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:35,238
I'd like to see you try...
59
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,657
- Hey!
- Time to fix this broken franchise.
60
00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,343
Good luck doing anything
with that script.
61
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:40,577
It's watermarked!
62
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:47,125
I'll get an Uber.
63
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,326
I don't know,
this script is pretty good.
64
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:24,204
- Give that back, Dad.
- Whoa, what's that?
65
00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:27,123
The Movie-lizer.
66
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,767
It makes movies
at the speed of thought.
67
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:30,668
I invented it
during the title sequence.
68
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,337
Let's see what
James Gunn had cookin'.
69
00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:40,220
For the honor of the Robo-Tree.
70
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:42,680
Time to die.
71
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,934
With the power of friendship!
72
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:48,811
Yikes.
Citizen Kane doesn't strike again.
73
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,188
Oh, he will.
74
00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:52,690
The Movie-lizer uses
a prompt-driven CPU.
75
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,485
I just type whatever tweaks I want,
and it auto-generates the rest.
76
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,654
Hell yeah.
Make it lose that bad guy.
77
00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:59,989
Baron Thistle hasn't been cool
since the third movie.
78
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,533
{\an7}Let's kill two birds with one prompt.
79
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,662
Till we meet again, Robo-Trees.
80
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,039
Wait. Where did this gun come from?
81
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:10,750
Whoopsie.
82
00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:12,043
Hey. That man was unarmed.
83
00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:13,586
Yeah, man. Uncool.
84
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,672
It was an accident.
85
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:20,176
- So awesome. They hate him.
- Here. Watch this.
86
00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:23,221
I sentence you to life in prison
87
00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:24,931
for unlicensed murder.
88
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,225
Oh, please.
89
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:30,228
Isn't some of the stuff
you're messing with important?
90
00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:31,729
Oh, fuck the fuck off, Jerry.
91
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,148
That formula-driven,
"Save the Cat" bullshit
92
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:35,542
is what killed the last couple
of movies.
93
00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:36,567
That's right, Morty.
94
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:38,545
We're gonna make the people care
about the Robo-Trees again.
95
00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:42,115
Movie-lizer, make us care.
96
00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:56,129
Where are we?
97
00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:58,172
Oh, shit. Morty, look.
98
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:00,675
Oh my God.
99
00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:02,969
It's Robo-Tree Headquarters.
100
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:06,806
Wait, how... how is this happening?
101
00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:09,726
- Intruders!
- Let's go.
102
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,185
Stop them.
103
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,315
Fuck. The Movie-lizer
Last Action Hero'd us.
104
00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:17,442
We're characters
in the movie now, Morty.
105
00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:19,944
- It hurts.
- Are you guys okay?
106
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,821
I mean, I can see
you're being shot at.
107
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:23,072
Dad? Holy shit,
108
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,158
I can hear your internal dialogue
in my head.
109
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:26,993
Is the machine supposed
to work like this?
110
00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:28,911
No. The Movie-lizer malfunctioned.
111
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,955
Now the Robo-Trees
are trying to kill us.
112
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,541
Really? Uh, let me try something.
113
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,587
- What the hell is this?
- A 2007 Kia Spectra.
114
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,422
I thought you could use
a cool getaway car.
115
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:42,216
- Are you kidding me? This car sucks.
- The joke's on you.
116
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,552
Edmunds Car Report
gave it three stars.
117
00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:46,637
It's a family sedan! Shoot it!
118
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,264
Better than nothing. Let's go.
119
00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:54,049
How are we gonna get outta here?
120
00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:56,606
The Movie-lizer might eject us
once the story is over.
121
00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,233
Jerry, type that we skip to the end,
and everything works out.
122
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:01,110
I don't think I can, guys.
123
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:04,197
It says the script
is 3,000 pages and counting.
124
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,366
Also, there's an error-thing
bleeping that says,
125
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:09,243
"antagonist not found"
and "no third act."
126
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,746
Without an ending,
you'll be stuck in the movie forever.
127
00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,081
God damn it.
128
00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:15,124
You cut a bunch of stuff
out willy-nilly.
129
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,834
What did you expect?
130
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,796
Look, I understand story.
Let me just put everything back
131
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,231
- that you took out and...
- Jerry, stop.
132
00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:23,400
You'll only make things worse.
You're a terrible writer,
133
00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:25,843
and you should never, ever
get on the keys.
134
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,553
Well, excuse me for living.
135
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,806
Alright, we killed the villain,
gotta undo that.
136
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:32,242
Didn't they use lightning to bring
George Washington back to life
137
00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:34,394
in Maximum VelociThree: Tell No Lies?
138
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,771
Hold on.
The machine doesn't hate that...
139
00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:38,231
See? This is going to work.
140
00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:41,150
We'll bring back Baron Thistle
and give this stupid thing an ending.
141
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:44,654
Use your blinker! Fuck off!
142
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,869
Okay, all we need now
is a little lightning.
143
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:02,755
- We're back, baby!
- It worked.
144
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,049
Look out! Zombie!
145
00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:08,970
Dude. We just brought him back.
146
00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:10,096
Fucker bit you.
147
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:13,641
Wait! The Movie-lizer
is detecting a new antagonist.
148
00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:14,767
I don't see any...
149
00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,898
Guys, this new character
has given you
150
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,860
a 20.5% better chance
of ending the movie.
151
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:27,280
- But I am in pain.
- So we're back on course?
152
00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:29,574
Sort of. You still need a third act.
153
00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,701
In the original draft,
Baron Thistle was gonna
154
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:34,162
kill Tannenbaum
in front of the Robo-Trees...
155
00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:36,065
That would've been a cool ending.
156
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:40,460
Maybe Son of Thistle could finish
what his father started?
157
00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:42,587
You do kinda look like him.
158
00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:44,088
You want me to kill Tannenbaum?
159
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:45,256
Whatever works.
160
00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:47,049
Okay, I'll break Tannenbaum
out of jail,
161
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,677
reunite him with the Robo-Trees,
and then Morty will kill him.
162
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,520
Does the machine recognize
that as an ending?
163
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:52,847
Hold on.
164
00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:57,018
It does! Kinda bleak, though.
165
00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:58,978
Shut up. I'm off to a jailbreak.
166
00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:00,897
What the hell am I supposed to do?
167
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,148
You're the new bad guy.
168
00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:04,001
Hook up with the Hench-Weeds
and give the Robo-Trees
169
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,067
something to stop.
170
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,945
- Something to stop? What's that mean?
- See you in the third act!
171
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:15,369
Extra creatine, please.
172
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:18,539
- Yo, James Gunn.
- Oh. Hi, Zack Snyder.
173
00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:21,292
Just saw your new cut
of Superman, and word of advice,
174
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:24,003
he's the Man of Steel,
not the Man of Conversation.
175
00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:26,214
- Okay.
- Do more shots of him punching.
176
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,132
And here's a secret move.
177
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,884
Start the punch at regular speed,
178
00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:31,469
and then you're gonna ramp it down.
179
00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:33,262
It's not a fucking secret!
180
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,264
I'm sorry, Zack Snyder.
181
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,476
I shouldn't be lashing out at you.
Your biceps are the size of my head.
182
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:42,230
Yes, but so is my heart.
What's going on with you?
183
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:46,317
Some fan of the Velocitree franchise
got onto the lot today.
184
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,486
He used a portal, and he just...
185
00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:51,531
Zack, we're not losing touch
with the audience, are we?
186
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:54,200
I mean, I gave notes
on the goddamn Count Chocula movie
187
00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:56,118
- this morning...
- Was the portal green?
188
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,787
That's Rick Sanchez.
189
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,956
Gunner, that's the guy
that sealed Nolan
190
00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:01,290
in the giant bookcase
191
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,543
to quote-unquote punish him
for Interstellar.
192
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,169
He doesn't represent real fans.
193
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,380
He's just the smartest man
in the universe.
194
00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:10,007
Don't sweat it.
He can't do what we do.
195
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:11,509
Probably.
196
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,594
Gonna go crush some weights.
197
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,239
One day you're gonna wish
you hit the gym
198
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:16,639
like I do, James Gunn.
199
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:25,481
Hello?
200
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,942
Is this Baron Thistle's evil base?
201
00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:29,860
Not anymore. We're packing it in.
202
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:33,114
Gonna try to sell all this stuff
on my girlfriend's Etsy site.
203
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:36,576
Everyone, listen up.
204
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:39,161
I'm here to get this place
back up and running.
205
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,123
I am the Son of Thistle!
206
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:44,041
He does sorta have the same jacket.
207
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,960
And his head is also a cactus.
208
00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:47,503
That's all the proof I need!
209
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,130
Tell us what to do.
210
00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:53,092
Well, what were y'all doing
before Baron Thistle died?
211
00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:55,553
Oh. You know. Doomsday plan.
212
00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:57,054
We were gonna melt the ice caps.
213
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,723
Spent months on the blueprints,
214
00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:00,474
not that your dad ever said,
"Thank you."
215
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:02,476
- What's your name?
- Samantha.
216
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:05,229
It sucks when your boss
never says thank you, Samantha.
217
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:08,524
But under me,
everyone will feel appreciated.
218
00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:11,902
Samantha, I am putting you in charge
219
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:15,656
of Operation: Complete and Total
Polar Cap Destruction.
220
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,910
Thank you, sir.
I've been feeling so low lately.
221
00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:21,954
I think it's 'cause my mom
forgot my birthday.
222
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:24,665
Samantha, that will never
happen again.
223
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:26,459
I'm your Mom now.
224
00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:29,337
Now, let's melt some ice caps!
225
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:36,218
See? My Son of Thistle idea did work.
226
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,555
Son of a bitch did it.
He made a movie machine.
227
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,557
Says it right on the side.
228
00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:49,982
- Hello?
- Hi, there.
229
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,360
It's me. Your wife.
230
00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:54,987
Here's your prison food, new guy.
231
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,197
What you in for?
232
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,823
The fastest crime I could commit.
233
00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:00,576
Any of you see an annoying
little bitch of a Christmas tree?
234
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:06,040
Oh, please.
Oh, please, don't beat me.
235
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:08,209
I won't. I'm here to rescue you.
236
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:10,711
- I'm not worth rescuing.
- Huh?
237
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:13,756
I suck. I say dumb catchphrases.
238
00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:17,635
I look like a toy designed for kids.
239
00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:19,804
I'm a fucking idiot.
240
00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:21,722
Wow. More self-aware than I thought.
241
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,891
But come on,
everyone sucks until they don't.
242
00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:25,393
That's the arc of every good story.
243
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:27,561
- It is?
- Here's the plan.
244
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,313
I'll start a riot and we sneak out.
245
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:30,624
I know you're not a fighter, but...
246
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,316
When do we start?
247
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,401
Oh.
248
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,611
- Right now.
- Good.
249
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,698
Take that back, asshole.
250
00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,660
I'll take it back when
I stop fucking your mother.
251
00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:46,831
Save some punching
for the rest of us.
252
00:11:49,291 --> 00:11:50,459
Lunch is ruined.
253
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,512
Whoa. Cool.
254
00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:04,056
Get your fucking rear in gear.
255
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:06,392
I really miss you.
256
00:12:06,475 --> 00:12:07,935
I miss my hubby.
257
00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:09,562
Why don't you come
into the kitchen?
258
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:12,732
Sure. But why are you calling
from a different phone number?
259
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,110
It's a burner phone
for spam calls.
260
00:12:16,193 --> 00:12:19,447
Come into the kitchen
for some lemonade.
261
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,824
Oh, wow. Can't pass up lemonade.
262
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,077
The Movie-lizer is mine.
263
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:29,415
No one's more creative
than James Gunn.
264
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,299
God damn it. We're stuck.
265
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:40,968
No, we're not, Rick.
266
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:44,013
Grab my stump.
267
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:46,348
- Yeah!
- Whoa!
268
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:53,522
Holy shit. That was awesome.
269
00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:56,984
And so was that.
270
00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:58,253
- Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
- Job well done.
271
00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:00,279
- Alright!
- Thank the squirrels you're safe!
272
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:03,115
Thank Rick Sanchez.
He did everything.
273
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,950
You did a lot too.
274
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,410
Definitely more than I expected.
275
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:09,914
Rick, I wanna thank you
for rescuing me.
276
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:13,459
Here. I want you to have this.
277
00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:14,668
It's a piece of me.
278
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:16,629
Oh, thanks.
279
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:18,422
Is this, like, one of your balls?
280
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:21,300
Robo-Trees, something messed up
is going viral
281
00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:22,802
all over Twit-Tok.
282
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:26,013
Hello, Earth.
I'm the Son of Thistle,
283
00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:29,308
and I'm just like my dad,
so I'ma Doomsdayin'.
284
00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:31,519
Samantha, tell the people
what we're gonna do.
285
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:33,479
We're gonna wipe out
the polar ice caps
286
00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:36,023
'cause they suck!
287
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:39,527
Does the Movie-lizer
still think we're on track?
288
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:41,570
Jerry?
289
00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:45,032
- Jerry?
- It's fuckin' heavy!
290
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:48,744
Shoulda listened to Snyder.
291
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,625
Right on cue.
292
00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:56,669
Weeds, attack!
293
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,507
Robo-Trees, let's stomp that prick.
294
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:15,813
Where the hell is Tannenbaum?
295
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:22,361
- Dude, where is he?
- On the ship.
296
00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:24,113
Turns out,
Tannenbaum's an alright guy.
297
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,676
He's kinda my favorite character now.
298
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,701
What? Look at me!
I'm a fucking cactus!
299
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:30,369
Relax. Trust the process.
300
00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:32,788
Oh my God, you're re-breaking
the story again?
301
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,374
I wanna go home!
And I didn't even think
302
00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:37,877
the last Maximum Velocitree
was all that bad.
303
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,628
You said it wasn't Citizen Kane.
304
00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:43,007
I'm 14! I've never seen Citizen Kane!
305
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:45,634
Now, listen to me,
you stupid old man!
306
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,678
You're gonna bring Tannenbaum here,
307
00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:49,847
and I'm gonna shoot him
in the goddamn head
308
00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:51,849
just like we planned!
309
00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:54,226
Okay, okay! I'll help you kill him.
310
00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:57,479
- You're gonna do what?
- Mom?
311
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,690
You're in cahoots
with the Robo-Trees?
312
00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:03,110
- Samantha, let me explain.
- Okay. Go ahead.
313
00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:04,695
Shit, she called my bluff. Run!
314
00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:05,821
Get them!
315
00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:12,912
- Dad, help.
- Your dad's not fuckin' answering.
316
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:16,373
That's because he's in the kitchen,
talking to his wife.
317
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:17,499
- James Gunn?
- James Gunn?
318
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,335
- That's right.
- James Gunn?
319
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:22,004
- Just walk away, man. Walk away.
- But...
320
00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:24,173
I read that dinosaur book
you wrote, Jerry.
321
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,091
- Really good stuff.
- You did?
322
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:29,011
Well, I got the gist.
Maybe we could do business together?
323
00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:30,554
Two-picture deal?
324
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:32,640
- Dad, no!
- Don't do it! We need you!
325
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:35,309
That's it, Jerry.
Give in to Hollywood.
326
00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:37,645
You know how to really succeed
in this town?
327
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:40,356
By turning your back on family.
328
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:41,565
I don't like that.
329
00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:44,318
No! You could've had it all!
330
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,071
Guys, I'm back.
331
00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:49,990
Jeez Louise, what did you do?
The story's gone linear.
332
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:52,534
We pissed off the good guys
and the bad guys.
333
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,161
Rick likes Tannenbaum now.
334
00:15:54,244 --> 00:15:56,372
- I just think he's interesting.
- We need a new ending.
335
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:57,998
I literally wrote us into a corner.
336
00:15:58,082 --> 00:15:59,583
You gotta write us outta here, Jerry.
337
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,710
Me? You said I was a terrible writer
338
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,754
who should never, ever,
ever, ever, ever...
339
00:16:03,837 --> 00:16:05,756
I didn't say that many "evers."
Listen, Jerry.
340
00:16:05,839 --> 00:16:07,925
Any idiot can plug an idea
into a machine
341
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:09,728
when they don't care
what it spits back out,
342
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,345
but it takes a special kind of idiot
343
00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:13,031
to get on the keys
and write us an ending.
344
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,348
You're that idiot.
345
00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:15,432
But how?
346
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:17,267
It's always been
right in front of you.
347
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:18,477
Go over to my workbench.
348
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:20,771
Alright. I'm there.
349
00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:22,982
Open the third drawer
on the right and reach way back.
350
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:24,542
There should be
a small orange bottle.
351
00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:27,069
What is it? Some sci-fi device?
352
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:29,655
Better. It's magic.
353
00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:31,424
Don't take more than two,
drink lots of water,
354
00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:32,741
and remember to blink.
355
00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:39,123
I now pronounce you two
both guilty and dead.
356
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:41,000
Aw, jeez. Dad? Help.
357
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,418
Then, as fate would have it,
358
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,545
a very large air vent
opened beneath them.
359
00:16:45,212 --> 00:16:47,965
Our heroes escape execution
via the large vented air vent.
360
00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:50,402
As fate would have it,
this is a direct path to the outside.
361
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:53,470
Slam cut to exterior: New York, day.
362
00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:55,514
New York?
363
00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:56,890
Why are we in New York?
364
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:58,267
Stop micromanaging me!
365
00:16:58,350 --> 00:16:59,685
Then, as fate would have it,
366
00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:01,520
a high-octane Lamborgina pulls up.
367
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:03,188
Whoopsie, forgot how to drive.
368
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:04,356
Here, kid, catch.
369
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:06,942
Whoa. The Adderall is hittin'.
370
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,485
Get in the car!
371
00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:37,598
Okay, Jerry,
now get us to the climax.
372
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:39,933
Nerth Pole?
373
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,519
That's where Samantha built
the super weapon!
374
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:44,688
Dad's trying to get us
back on course.
375
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:45,898
Hang on.
376
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,611
Yes! We've got curvature!
377
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,745
Guessing that's your doomsday weapon.
378
00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:01,139
We're nearin' the end of the movie.
379
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,748
Damn. Samantha built it fast.
380
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:04,142
I guess supporting
those beneath you...
381
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:05,292
Here they come!
382
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:33,529
We have 1.63 minutes
before the melting polar ice caps
383
00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:35,364
reach the point of no return.
384
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:37,950
- We got company.
- Stop that traitor.
385
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:41,203
Shit, Morty, I think I figured out
the best ending yet.
386
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:43,205
Hello, Mother.
387
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,541
You deal with that.
I don't know what that's about.
388
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:47,334
Come and get me, trees.
389
00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:51,547
Samantha, hey. Beautiful job
on the weapon thing.
390
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:54,091
I thought you actually liked
my evil plan.
391
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:56,635
But let's face it, you're no mother.
392
00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:58,345
You're just a bad guy.
393
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:01,265
Step away from that super weapon.
394
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:04,601
- Let's blast him.
- For once, I agree with you.
395
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:09,773
Stop! Don't shoot! He's a good man!
396
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,483
He saved me.
397
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:13,443
- No. I'm bad.
- Huh?
398
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:15,612
I only rescued you
so I could have you killed.
399
00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:19,116
I hate you, Tannenbaum.
You look like a toy.
400
00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:20,951
- Die already!
- Gun!
401
00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:27,040
See you... next... summer.
402
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:31,920
Wait. No. No!
403
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:43,932
You saved the world
from another unarmed man.
404
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,268
Oh no. They died?
405
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:50,564
Sometimes, saving the world
requires complex decisions.
406
00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:53,442
Decisions made by a true leader.
407
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:59,656
Hail, Tannen-Knight,
leader of the Robo-Trees.
408
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:03,368
They did it. What an ending.
409
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,120
They outdone the Gunn.
410
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,668
- We're back. Oh my God!
- We're alive!
411
00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:14,046
We were dead in the movie!
Actually dead.
412
00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:17,216
Wow, Dad. Looks like us dying
really affected you.
413
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:18,800
No, he just forgot to blink.
414
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:21,261
Still. I admit it.
Making movies is hard.
415
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:23,931
From now on, I'm just gonna be
an impossible-to-please fan.
416
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,600
You said it!
Let's go troll some comment sections.
417
00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:28,894
Oh God, where did James Gunn go?
418
00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:31,772
Fuck James Gunn.
Where's the goddamn hard drive?
419
00:20:31,855 --> 00:20:35,025
I'm telling you, Mr. Brothers,
they cracked the code.
420
00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:38,070
This won't just put butts in seats
and sell popcorn,
421
00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:40,364
it will give people hope.
422
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:43,909
It could save Hollywood.
It could change everything.
423
00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:47,788
Nice work, Mr. Gunn.
Give the man a sundae.
424
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:49,539
Ooh, I love sundaes.
425
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:02,511
Why was it called a sundae?
426
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:07,140
It's a Maximum Velocitree
427
00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:09,559
Robotic trees against adversity
428
00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:11,478
It's not rocket science or geometry
429
00:21:11,561 --> 00:21:13,897
So sit on back and watch the movie
430
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:16,275
Five trees against a cactus man
431
00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:18,235
Next summer, we'll be back again
432
00:21:18,318 --> 00:21:20,153
Gotta fill our content demand
433
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:22,447
If domestic tanks,
there's always Japan
434
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,074
All we need is friendship
and sunshine
435
00:21:24,157 --> 00:21:25,325
Choking on a wild vine
436
00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:27,077
No one stops us growing
from the ground up
437
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,705
Baron Thistle and his Hench-Weeds
lookin' like some bad seeds
438
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:31,148
Now Velocitrees are gonna round up
439
00:21:31,206 --> 00:21:33,126
They have a tendency
to fight tyrannic succulents
440
00:21:33,208 --> 00:21:35,127
They have a tendency
for kicking plant ass
441
00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:38,005
It's a Maximum Velocitree
442
00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:39,840
Okay, Jerry. All set.
443
00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:42,884
But for the record, I do not condone
using the Movie-lizer in this way.
444
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:44,469
Hear that, Dad? You're good to go.
445
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:48,181
Can't believe I'm actuallyinside Space Jam 7.
446
00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:50,434
Oh, hey, LeBron.
Still doing this, huh?
447
00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:51,560
Let's get outta here.
448
00:21:53,770 --> 00:21:57,190
Hey, guys. You know how I've
been writing raptor porn on the side?
449
00:21:57,274 --> 00:21:59,443
I'm ready to share it with the world.
450
00:22:00,610 --> 00:22:02,779
Oh, well, guess I'll just leave it
on this machine
451
00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:04,323
till they come back.
452
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:08,910
Guys? You still there? Oh no.
453
00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:10,746
Dear God. What is that?
454
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,498
Stop! Let go of me!
455
00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:15,751
What are you doing? Stop!
456
00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:17,586
Don't just stand there,
Speedy Gonzales.
457
00:22:17,669 --> 00:22:18,879
Do something!
458
00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:21,840
Did you get any of that?34869
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