All language subtitles for 0CC79705637ACE9E00E828972AD0E50D_eng (FLYPAPER)

Make it quick,
honey. We're closing.

Well, this is unacceptable.

Because I booked it yesterday.

Yes, a one-hour sunset
bliss massage with Tanya.

No, it has to be Tanya.

I need to know that
this bank is secure.

Just trust me. I've
upgraded dozens of banks.

- it'll be fine.
- I don't need fine. I need guarantees.

Gordon, you've got them.

It's a security upgrade,
not the end of the world.

I swear, Kaitlin, if he keeps me
late again and I miss Cougar Town,

I am gonna burn this
place to the ground.

Oh, I hear you, hon.
We've all got plans.

Mr. Sullivan, it's always
a pleasure to see you.

Look, I scheduled this
massage a month ago.

No, I need Tanya. Her hands
are like little jackhammers

Well, who can I get?

Jonathan? Well, does
he have strong hands?

Hello!

Ooh! Come to mama.

Mmm. Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, oh, oh.

Son of a bitch.

- How may I help you today, sir?
- Change for a hundred.

Absolutely. How
would you like it broken?

Seven nickels, 31
quarters and 919 dimes.

What?

Oh, you're right,
that's too many dimes.

I'm gonna do 107 nickels,

839 dimes, 29 quarters

and seven half-dollar
pieces, please.

Is that Chile?

Brazil.

You know what? I'm never
gonna use the half-dollar pieces.

Can I get 101 nickels, 157
quarters and 557 dimes, please?

- Is this a joke?
- No. I just have this thing for coins.

I like their weight, I like their size, I
like the way they jingle in my pocket.

- That's kind of weird.
- What is?

The numbers you mentioned, 101,
157, 557. They're all prime numbers.

No one's ever
noticed that before.

I work with numbers all day.

You do that in your head?

Yes. Good trick at math parties.

- I bet.
- What's your name?

- Kaitlin.
- Kaitlin. I am Tripp.

- It's very nice to meet you.
- Oh, hi, we don't actually, um,

- shake hands with customers.
- Oh, right.

Cell phone scramblers live.

When are you getting married?

How do you know
I'm getting married?

Oh, my wedding gifts.

That's also quite a rock. Are
you marrying Jay-Z or somebody?

My fiancé's well off, yes.

Well off? They're getting
married in Brunei in two days.

My husband won't even
take me to the Sizzler.

Oh, he's rich. But is he happy?

We're extremely happy.
How kind of you to ask.

Check Darrien.

Check Weinstein.

Check Gates.

All right, we're live.
Go weapons hot.

Yeah.

Breach the door. Go
on, hit it with the clicker.

Go, go, go!

And one, two,
three, four, five, six

and one makes seven.

Is there anything else I
can do for you today, sir?

No, I'm good. Thank you.

Thanks for choosing Credit
International. Have a great day.

- You're beeping.
- What? Oh.

Yes, it reminds me
to take my meds.

- Pharmacy around here?
- Two blocks up.

Very nice meeting you, Kaitlin.

Nice to meet you, too, Tripp.
Good luck with your whole thing.

- You're about to be robbed.
- Huh?

What are you doing?

This is a robbery!

What the fuck do you
think you're doing here?

What's it look like, man?
We robbing the bank.

Yeah, ain't it sort of obvious
with the guns and everything?

No. This is our job. Stand down.

I ain't see your name
on the sign out there.

Unless your name is Credit.

And, you know, given all the weird
names parents give their kids these days...

The alarm isn't working.

No cell phone reception either.

- What do we do?
- Proceed as planned.

Stop the security update.

If I don't let the system reboot,
the whole bank will lock down.

We know that. Just do it or I'll
shoot you in the fucking face.

Now hold on, son. There's no...

- Do it!
- Okay.

You have exactly three seconds to
stand down or you will be fired upon!

Come on, dude, let's get out of
here. There's lots of other ATMs.

- One...
- On two, start banging away.

I heard that.

Two,

three.

It's now or never, bro!

- He's not gonna make it.
- Get down.

- What do you push for the intercom?
- What?

Hello? Hello?

Hello? Look, I know you're
in the middle of a gunfight,

but a bystander's been hit.

I just wanna check to make sure
he's okay. Okay, I'm coming out.

Don't shoot!

Coming out! Don't shoot.

- I've got a clean shot.
- So does everyone. Just stand down.

Just wait. Okay?

- This ever happen to you before?
- Hell no.

He's dead.

Look, sometimes that happens
in these crossfire situations.

Don't make a big
production out of it, okay?

You're here for
the vault, right?

Who the fuck is this guy?

And you guys said something
about going after the ATMs?

Maybe.

So, then what's the problem?

Are you seriously suggesting
that we rob the same bank?

Yeah. Why not?

Just pretend it's
two different banks.

This guy's nuts.

Don't even tell me
you're considering it.

Look, I rather not add any
more murders to my rap sheet.

For fuck's sake, one of them wore shorts
to a bank robbery. We gotta kill them.

I don't know. What
do you think, old man?

I'm with you, D. I've
had my fill of killing.

Why the fuck are we even carrying guns?
Come on, I wanna shoot the motherfuckers!

The guns are for taking hostages.
That was always part of the plan.

Now we just have two
more hostages. Am I right, D?

So what's our plan?

If they wanna rob the bank
together, we rob the bank together.

If they wanna kill
us, we kill them first.

Cool plan.

All right, listen up.

We're gonna take the vault.

You two idiots want
the ATMs, that's fine.

Just stay the fuck
out of our way.

You got it, big
city. Rooty-tooty.

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

What now? What are we
supposed to do? What does he want?

You two, could you...

Does he want us to come over?

It's okay.

You, come here.

Watch him.

Give us a sec.

- You want to come?
- Fuck off.

Put the guns down.
Put the guns down.

All right, come here.

Let's introduce ourselves. There's
no reason why we can't be friends.

I'm Peanut Butter.
And this here's Jelly.

Those ain't our real names.

Jesus Christ.

We wanted something
that goes good together,

and Milk 'N Cookies
was already taken.

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

I want all the
hostages out here now!

All right, everybody. Cell phones,
pagers, fucking Twitter things.

Anything with an on/off switch.

Yeah. And guns, obviously.

Thank you for being
a terrible bank guard.

Hey, guys, I gotta
get out of here.

Of course you gotta get out of
here. You're a fucking hostage.

Get in there!

Hey. Shut up and
don't touch anything.

- Get away from the fucking door.
- Can I...

- Stay away from the door.
- All right!

Please don't kill
me on the toilet.

Jesus Christ. It smells like
an arsehole factory in here.

You ought to be
ashamed of yourself, mate.

These guys are awesome.

Major league, baby.

Obviously on behalf of the
bank, I'm just terribly sorry.

Okay, let me just amend
that. We're terribly sorry.

- Rex, please.
- Hey, everybody, I'm Rex Newbauer.

I'm a loan officer.
And we're in luck.

Certified post-robbery
counselor.

I've counseled over 75
bank-robbery survivors.

We're gonna make it here, gang.

Now, our primary objective
is to become a cohesive unit.

Sir, may I help you, please?

Our primary goal is
to get out of here alive.

Okay, well as an expert in
standard bank robbery procedure...

There's nothing standard
about this bank robbery.

We have two heists going on at
the same time with a dead body,

which basically guarantees
that the bank robbers

are gonna come in
here and kill us all.

- What?
- Don't tell me that, man.

That's some bullshit.
I don't wanna die.

People, let's stay calm!

Okay. Now, this bank
opens at 5:00 a.m.

By that time my colleagues
and I will be long gone.

You're all locked in here, okay?

So, even if you were
to get out of this kitchen,

you can't get out of the bank.

So sit down and shut up.

What if one of us has a condition that
requires us to use the bathroom a lot?

Yes, there will be bathroom
breaks. You will not try to escape.

You will not try to contact
anyone outside of the bank.

You will not make noise.

Really, a watch alarm? What
are you, like, in the sixth grade?

It just goes off every hour. It
reminds me to take my meds,

which unfortunately I'm out of,

- unless anybody has any Depakene.
- I have Xanax.

I got Ativan and Prilosec.

- I've got a couple of Ritalin.
- I might have a few Prozac.

- I take Adderall and Nasonex.
- Are you kidding me?

Shut the fuck up! I
just said no talking!

- What's going on?
- We got Oprah's Book Club in here.

Hey, you want me
to fuck someone up?

No, we're good. Did you hit the
cameras, phones and computers?

Yeah. You sure you don't
want me to fuck someone up?

Yeah, I just said I didn't.
Go get the Scrambler.

All right.

Jesus Christ, that
accent is ridiculous.

Before we get started,

let's check on the other guys.

I'm about to start on the
torch in a few minutes.

Make sure the
time-lock rig is ready.

This Shit is SO dope.

What the fuck?

Hey, no problem, man.

We just come in to peep at
your toys. You is so pimp, man.

- Did you see my face?
- What? No.

Did you see my fucking face?

No, we ain't seen your face.

Hey, hey, admit
it. Don't lie to me.

You saw my face, right?

I might've seen your face.

Oh, God damn it!

- Yeah, I seen it, too.
- A very attractive face.

Shut the fuck up! God damn it!

You know what? You two
motherfuckers are like children.

You know, you're
worse than my kids.

You do not know
what you're doing.

Have you ever even
robbed a bank before?

- Like dozens.
- Yeah.

We just pulled this job with the
Callahan Brothers in Dubuque.

- Now that was...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What the fuck are you doing, man?
See, that's exactly what I'm talking about.

Don't tell me about the
other jobs you pulled.

Don't tell me about the
people you pulled them with.

Don't rob a motherfucking bank
without a motherfucking mask.

Come on, guys, that's
like, uh, Criminal 101.

It's like your
tattoos, for instance.

- Oh. You like them?
- Check this out.

You can try and bind
me, but it ain't gonna hold.

Oh, he didn't
get it. Do it again.

No. No, no, no. Wow.
No, believe me, I get it.

I think I need to speak
slower to you two.

Generally, criminals
try and minimize

their distinctive qualities.

So that they can't be identified
afterwards. Come on, guys, what the fuck?

You can try and bind
me, but it ain't gonna hold.

Get the fuck away from me. Both
of you. Get the fuck out of here.

Get the fuck out of here before
I put a bullet in both your asses.

We're going.

You stupid motherfuckers.

Now, I know some of you
have husbands and wives

that are gonna panic when
you don't come home tonight,

so we're gonna give
you each one phone call.

You will tell your
certain someone

that you're spending the
night at a friend's house,

and you will be convincing
or I will blow your genitals off.

Who wants to go first?

You? How about you? No?

Okay, you with the ugly tie.

Hello, darling?

Number two is
toast. Three is up.

We're 49 minutes behind
schedule. Four-nine.

Copy that

Mother-roo.

All right, now you know how I
usually get the blue stuff, right?

But this, this was on sale.

I love how thrifty you are.

Maybe we ought to read
the directions just to be sure.

What is that, Korean?

No, actually, now
that's Chinese, see,

'cause Chinese is a
pictogram alphabet.

Is it? Well, explosives
is explosives.

I, um, am not gonna come

to the airport tonight.
I am really sorry.

My mother is sick and I'm gonna stay
with her, and maybe we can go tomorrow.

And I love you. Goodbye.

- I don't have anybody to call.
- Nobody? That's really sad.

Just kidding. Go fuck yourself.

This is the most pathetic
group of hostages I've ever seen.

- All right, sit down and shut up.
- Sit down and shut up.

- I just said that.
- I was just reinforcing your message.

Well, as I predicted,

they didn't kill us.

- Tripp? Is it Tripp?
- Mmm-hmm.

Would you like to apologise
for scaring us all half to death?

Why didn't they kill us?

Why do they have to kill us?

They're gonna go down for murder
already. Why not kill all the witnesses?

It's the same charge.
Frankly, that's what I would do.

Well, maybe each gang
thinks that the other one did it

and so they don't
have to kill us.

He was deliberately shot.

Until we figure out who he is
and why he killed Jack Hayes,

we're all totally fucked.

- How do you know his name?
- Driver's license.

You stole a dead man's wallet?

Mmm-hmm.

We're in. Gates, you're up.

Jesus Christ.

Remember when you just needed
a gun and a brown paper bag?

Tell me about it.

Do you see a clue?

No. I still don't know
what he does for a living.

There's no business
card. His credit cards and...

That's it, look.

Visa, Citibank, but no
Credit International card.

- So?
- So,

why was Jack Hayes in this
bank if he had no business here?

Maybe he was opening
up a new account.

Damn it.

Let's see. Gordon and the computer
guy were over by the mainframe.

Madge was at her
station counting money.

The creepy security guard
was standing by the door,

checking out the Swiss Miss,

who was sitting at
the loan officer’s desk.

Kaitlin was at her station.

And Jack Hayes was...

No. Jack Hayes wasn't
opening up a new account.

He was loitering at the
cheque-writing counter.

If he was opening
up a new account,

he would've gone straight
to one of the bank officers.

Then what was he doing here?

I have no idea.

Hey.

You are totally breathing on me.

What are you doing?

Hello, Tripp.

- What are you doing?
- I'm looking for a way out.

Did you not hear the part where
they said they would kill us?

How come you haven't
had your ring fitted?

- Excuse me?
- How long you been engaged?

Most women would know
the answer right away.

Why are you marrying Max?

You don't even know him.

I know that he's rich. I
know that he can't match

your hunger for adventure
or your sense of humour

and doesn't
understand you sexually.

- She told me Max irons his jeans.
- Madge!

She's worked here two months
already and I've never met him.

- You know what? Enough.
- You know what?

There are four photos
taped to your teller station.

Three are of Brazil. You like
adventure. But Max is not in any of them.

He went with a banana hammock,
okay, and got a bad sunburn.

He stayed in that day.

Fourth one is of you and
Max in front of his mansion.

You look tiny compared to the
house, which tells me you like the house

more than the man
putting you in it.

- You know what? Who are you?
- The most interesting thing about you

is that you still work here, even
though you don't need the money.

You're an independent
woman. I like that.

- Damn straight, I am.
- I'm sorry. When I'm off my meds,

- I'm not that good with...
- People?

Especially ones I
want to sleep with.

And I say things like that.

Oh, God.

Hey. Hey, asshole!

Stop it! Stop it!

- You're gonna get us all killed!
- Would you let go?

- Stop it!
- Rex, let go of my legs!

- Rex, let him go.
- He's gonna get us all killed!

- God.
- Just be quiet up there, son.

All right.

Hey!

They call me Mr. Clean.

So where you from?

- No English.
- Yeah?

I've never been to No English. I
hear it's right next to No Problem.

There's a draught.

I'm good.

Make it rain, baby.

Rooty-tooty.

Mother-roo.

Oh, fucking bollocks!

- We have got to kill them now, all right?
- Just relax.

Does the computer still work?

Yeah, it still works.

All right, now how much
time has that set us back?

About an hour or so. I
say we forget the vault.

Let's just kill those
muppets and do the ATMs.

- That's blue collar.
- That's blue collar, dude.

Fine, all right, but we
still gotta kill them, all right,

because they're slowing us down.

Put a bullet in their
fucking brain. Please.

Did we blow the ATM?

Jesus! Good to
see your ugly face!

Dude, you just ate three
bricks of plastic explosives.

But did we blow the ATM?

Let me look.

Uh...

You want the good
news or the bad news?

Good news.

The good news is
we blew the door off.

The bad news is, these ATMs got

two doors.

On your fucking
Knees! Go, go, go!

Hey, I ain't even pulled the
trigger, man. The thing just went off.

Hey, I don't care. Now
on your fucking knees!

Okay, um...

- Face front?
- Face front!

- Put your hands behind your head.
- Hands on your fucking heads.

They're about to die, dude.
They probably don't need the echo.

You got any ideas, bro?

- See you on the other side, dog.
- That's it?

You're supposed to go
for the brainstem, right?

It's like less diffraction
or something?

- Hey, dude?
- Yeah?

Been cool.

Yeah, totally cool. Wouldn't
have done it with nobody else.

Look, maybe this isn't our
strongest play, practically speaking.

Fuck, Weinstein, you
said we could kill them.

Now just show me the spot.

Look, next time you guys are gonna
blow something up, you let us know.

Hey, you got it, bro.

And I just wanna thank you
both personally for not killing us.

Hang on. We're
not doing them now?

You old fucks have
completely lost your heads!

What the fuck are you
people doing out of the kitchen?

Yeah, and they can fucking ID us
now, man. We have to kill them all.

You missed, be-atch!

No, he got you, bro.

What? I can't hear you, boy!

- Your ear!
- My what?

- Other ear.
- That's the one.

What?

Get ready to die, jism sucker.

All right, go ahead,
shoot him. Go ahead, do it.

- I will!
- Do it.

Then I'll shoot you and this retarded
cycle of violence can continue forever.

Go on, schmuck, do it.

What the fuck are you doing,
man? Are you trying to get me shot?

No, no, Peanut
Butter, don't shoot him.

We're better than that, man.

Okay. Just gonna do a
crawdaddy here and back off.

Just backing on out.

Gates, move the hostages
into that office up there.

Just do it.

You okay, sweet cookie?

My sweet butter cookie?

Jeez!

You killed Jack Hayes?

Why in the fuck is there
a hostage talking to me?

Somebody murdered him, and
they're gonna kill again soon.

Look, you're talking about the
guy in the windbreaker, it wasn't me.

I didn't have an angle on him.
How the fuck did you get out here?

- Who had the angle?
- Get the fuck out of here.

What are you doing here?

- Can you watch the hostages, please?
- Let's go!

All right! Just calm down.
You're really high-strung.

What you need is a sedative.

What is wrong with you? I have a
gun trained on the back of your head.

Yes.

What were you guys
talking about in there?

He wanted to know if I thought you
killed the guy in the windbreaker jacket.

- Really?
- Yes.

- Did you?
- No.

- We're pros.
- Right.

If one of our guys killed that guy, you
hostages would all be as dead as him.

Right. He was also
trying to figure out

why exactly two bank robberies
went down at the same time.

- What, are you joking?
- No.

At 7:00 p.m. the computer guy rebooted the
entire security system to new protocols.

- Right.
- The entire security system

was down for two minutes.

I'm shocked there wasn't a
dozen bank robbers in here tonight.

- Darrien should know that.
- Uh-huh.

He does know that, doesn't he?

And you're just trying to
get information out of me.

Yeah.

So did you kill Jack Hayes?

You know, in all my
years of taking hostages,

you are by far
the most annoying.

Right. Okay. I'm sorry.

Get in there, Rain Man.

Hey, computer guy.

How come you only pressed 10
buttons when you called your wife before?

What are you talking about?

When everyone else used the
phone they pressed 10 buttons

and then they pressed Send. So that's
11 buttons. But you only pressed 10.

I count everything, okay?

So how come you
pretended to call your wife?

Because you sold the information
when the alarms would be down

to one of the criminals,
and then you got greedy

and you sold it again. Double
the cash, double the robbery.

That's why you
didn't call your wife.

- Mitchell?
- Want that I should rough him up?

Yeah, it might be good practice
for when the cops show up.

Can we waterboard him? I saw
how to do it on the Discovery Channel.

I just need a mop
and some tweezers.

No, no, no, hey, hey, hold it.

I did. I sold the
downtime information.

- What?
- But I swear to God, I only did it once.

Okay? And I don't
even know who to.

Yeah, I faxed the information.
They paid me in cash.

You've gotta believe me.

Why should we trust you?

No reason.

But I swear to God, I never
meant anybody to get hurt.

And I didn't kill Jack Hayes.

Nobody said you did.

Oh, Jesus Christ, we
should be in by now.

Listen, old man, if you wanna get
out your stethoscope and bobby pins

and break into this vault 1970s
style, by all means, have at it.

Otherwise, shut your
fucking face, all right?

Jesus fucking Christ.

Come on, baby.

Yes! I'm a fucking genius.

- Oh, good job, my man.
- The dog's fucking bollocks!

Wait, pan left. Pan left.

That's not right.

The vault specs said that the clutch was
5 centimeters. That's way thicker. Shit!

What? How long is it gonna
take to burn through that?

I don't know. An hour or two?

- I mean, do all your jobs run this bad?
- Shit.

I mean, do I have to worry if there's
enough petrol in the getaway van?

Look at me, fucko.
We're past the time lock.

We don't need you any more.

Are you threatening
me, you bald little Jew?

Hey, hey, hey, hey! Relax!

Bald little Jews have
done more for mankind

than any other
kind of person, ever!

So go fuck yourself!

Hey, go check on
Peanut Butter and Jelly.

Make sure they're not
doing anything retarded. Go!

- Just go.
- Shit.

Relax.

It never ends. Three thousand
years we've been taking this shit.

Yeah, I know, man, I know.

I mean, it's not like I'm an accountant or
a comedy writer or something really Jewy.

I'm a fucking bank
robber, for Christ's sake.

You know how many Jewish
bank robbers there are?

- Not many.
- Not very many!

And even in this work
environment, all they see is bagels

and shmear and Goldman Sachs.

Look, we're gonna burn
through the clutch, all right.

It's just gonna take
a little bit more time.

I don't know, D.

We always said that we would
bail on any job if the intel sucked.

Already the vault
specs are shit.

We're behind schedule.

Our number-three guy
Lancelot is a fucking psycho.

We got two
hillbillies in the lobby

playing with weapons-grade
plastic explosives.

Our faces are in the open.

Ten years ago,
we would've bailed.

You know I'm right.

Ten years ago we
weren't in a recession.

Fucking bubble!

Look, look, listen to me. I'm
about to be 40 in a couple of years.

That's like 80
in criminal years.

Shit, I should be out
of the game by now.

But fuck, man, I need
the money more than ever.

You know, I just got my
little girl some fucking braces?

- Yeah?
- Yeah, the Invisalign.

No.

Yeah, not that cheap
ceramic shit, either.

- Nine grand a pop.
- Fuck!

Yeah, tell me about it.

And they call us criminals.
We should've been dentists.

- We should've been dentists!
- You're absolutely right.

Except, well, technically we'd be
orthodontists. But fuck that. Listen.

Go and take the hostages
on a bathroom break, all right?

I'll start on the clutch.

Look, man, we'll
get through this.

All right? We always do.

All right?

Okay, so, we're gonna slide
this C-4 into that door crack there

and punch the door out.

- Like opening a beer can.
- Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, you fucking mugs are the
worst bank robbers I've ever seen.

- Do you know that?
- Yeah?

You Know, you just blew my ear off
like 15 minutes ago, so you'll pardon me

if I just let your little comments
go in one ear and out the other.

What?

You only got one ear, bro.

Hey, it's an expression, dude.

I can't believe
you're siding with him.

Listen, we cannot let
them divide us, man.

You know they just
trying to lower our ranking.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait, wait, wait.

You muppets are ranked?

You bet your sweet ass.

Yes, sir, we are. Higher
than you, probably.

Oh, yeah? Do you wanna bet?

- Bring it on.
- Yeah?

Let's go.

Let's see where we're at.

I did not know they posted the
rankings on the Internets here.

Hey, Jelly, you remember
that one website?

Yes. We got cyber-whipped.

- You ever been cyber-whipped?
- No, I have never been cyber-whipped.

We got mixed feelings
about the whole experience,

but in a humdrum life,

you gotta take your fantasies
where you can find them, you know?

- See any clues?
- No, I need to get closer.

How are you gonna do that?

I'm working on it.

You doing okay?

Yeah. I'm good. Fine. I'm good.

What are you, like
ADD or something?

No.

You don't have to be defensive,
Tripp. We've all got our own stuff.

I'm not squirreling
away Xanax for nothing.

Why are you taking Xanax?

Uh, I don't know.
Pre-wedding jitters, I guess.

That's because you know
Max is not right for you.

Oh, yes, right, of course.

That must be it.
What do you take?

What don't I take?

Street or prescript?

Oh, prescription. Never
trust anything from the street.

What do you take it for?

All right, you don't
have to tell me.

Shuts off the TVs.

Hmm. Interesting.
Care to elaborate?

How do I explain this?

I've seen hundreds of doctors and
they've given me hundreds of diagnoses.

Without my meds, it's like...

It's like

I'm in front of a lot of TVs,

they're all on
different channels.

A normal person
can focus on one.

I have to take in all of
them at the same time.

Can you turn them off?

No. I wish I could, believe
me. I've tried everything.

Channel surf?

No.

- Drag.
- Yes.

Well, you know what they say. Normal's
just a cycle on the washing machine.

To the crazy person,
the normal are insane.

Right, this is the FBI's
Most Wanted for banks.

Number one, Vicellous
Drum. Man, he's overrated.

I don't know, bro.
Perfect getaway record.

Highest take-per-heist ratio.

And his jobs is planned to a T.
Run like fat people to the buffet.

Yeah, I know, but I mean,
look at that Baltimore job.

Twenty kills? That seems,
you know, excessive.

- Walked away with eight figures.
- Yeah, whatever. All right.

And number two is
Mick Nylon and his crew.

And number three is Alexis Black
and she's pretty good for a girl.

And there's Darrien and
Weinstein at number 12.

Now, they've been
at it for over 15 years,

so they have a lot
more credits than me.

- And there's me, 68...
- Sixty-eight.

...in banks, but
I'm 4 in cyber-grift.

Hey! Good for you, there.

Hey, you know what? Now I can go
around and I can say I got my ear shot off

by the fourth-best
cyber-grifter in the country.

- Yeah, you could say that.
- Hey, you wanna shoot my pinkie off?

Did you just punch
me in the arm?

Did he just punch me in the arm?

Okay, now, where are we ranked?

- Come on.
- All right.

We're number 674?

Well, they probably ain't took into account
that international job we just pulled.

- We hit a Jiffy Lube in Winnipeg.
- No, it's here.

You got picked up in Saginaw
after your car broke down.

Right. The engine gummed up.

What, your engine gummed up
after robbing a fucking Jiffy Lube store?

You know, it's not
that ironic to us.

Oh, God. I broke the chain, man.

They're gonna fucking kill
me. Jesus God in heaven!

Relax. You can always turn
state's evidence and go to jail.

What? Is that supposed
to make me feel better?

Ah, the joint ain't so bad.

Really, it's not as gay
as everyone thinks.

Well, for you it might
be. You're pretty rapeable.

Come on, man! Gross!
Hey, a little help in here!

They figure out you're
the snitch, Mitch?

Let's go. Let's go. Move.

- Come on.
- Okay.

Go. Get out of here.

Gates, will you cover
the bathroom break?

I gotta get this guy some Pepto.

Oh, sorry, guys. I
shall see you later.

Set 'em up to knock 'em down.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, guess you
did blow the last one.

Well, now, you also took one for
the team with your ear and all, so...

I got an idea.

Hey, Bono!

What say we borrow
one of the hostages?

They is half ours, ain't they?

You wanna pick teams
or something? Eh?

- The hottie.
- Mother-roo.

Okay, we'll take the
sort of quasi-hottie.

Oh, I think you're
a full-on hottie.

All right, I'll take, uh...

Oh, fuck it, cue ball and
creepy mustache with me.

Black chick, freak show and
closet homosexual with them.

- What?
- I need to go to the lavatory.

Didn't you just piss?
What, you gotta re-piss?

What, is there something
wrong with your willy?

No, I just... I need... I
have e bit of e condition.

All right, fuck it, go on.

Okay, now for the
sake of team spirit,

- we gonna be called the Badgers.
- Mystic Lightning!

What? No, not Mystic
Lightning. I hate that name.

Oh, so, what, badgers are cool?

Badgers are tunnel-dwelling rodents
who live on garbage and poop, dude.

They are not
inspirational animals.

Bro, you got to choose Peanut
Butter and Jelly. I get this one.

Fine.

Okay, so, for
our first activity,

we need one very special badger,

preferably who can read Chinese,

to detonate some totally not
dangerous explosives for us.

Dude, if you ask like that,
no one is gonna volunteer.

- I'll do it.
- What?

I need to see Jack Hayes.

- See?
- All right.

The man is dead. There's
nothing you can do for him.

- Oh, my God, you like me.
- I do not like you.

- This is really unexpected.
- Oh, my God, I don't like you.

I really didn't
think I had a shot.

How is Max gonna react to this?

You know what? Fuck off. Go get
maimed. See if I care. Go on, beat it.

- I'm not gay.
- This is not the time.

Okay, now here's what's
supposed to happen.

You jam the
igniter into the C-4,

you stroll casually
to a safe location,

and I press the detonator.

Here's what's
actually gonna happen.

Igniter into C-4,
huge explosion,

and you get launched
across the bank

and we find you in a
pile of rubble. Okay?

Good luck.

Okay, bro, good to go!

- He is not the smartest badger.
- No.

Huh.

Mother-roo.

Son of a bitch!

New rule! From here on out,
we only rob human beings.

This is fucking ridiculous.

Locked! Of course they're
fucking locked. Of course.

Why does this bank hate us?

Oh, I found some nickels.

Fucking nickels. Stupidest
goddamn coin on the planet.

Hey, Jelly.

Things is looking up. I just
found us a bunch of nickels.

They shot him from there.

Went through him this way...

Drop the gun, bro.

You heard the man. Drop it.

Put the gun down! Put it down!

Put the fucking gun down, dude.

Yo! Earth to dude!

- Drop the fucking gun!
- Drop the fucking gun!

Put the fucking gun down!

- Drop the gun!
- Drop the gun, dude!

What the fuck are
you waiting on?

Put the gun down!

Guys, what's up?

Drop the gun.

This? I found it on him.

I ain't interested in
the fucking provenance

of the gun. Just put
her on the ground.

You gotta be kidding me.

Dude, I know that we're sort of
the junior varsity team around here,

but we'd appreciate it if you'd
surrender your weapon to us

when we're holding
you at gunpoint.

This fucking thing is FBI issue.

FBI? That's interesting.

Wait a minute. An FBI agent
tried to rob this bank too?

Or he was here
investigating somebody.

We have at least five wanted
criminals in this bank. Right?

What the fuck is going on here?

- Bingo.
- You got it?

Nope.

I found that missing
piece to your ear.

Now, if you gotta
faint, I got ya.

Okay. Peanut Butter and Jelly
came through the front door there.

Darrien and Gates came
down the stairs there.

Bullets flew north-south. The
blood splattered east-west.

If he got caught in the
Crossfire, it'd be north-south.

Darrien and Gates
were on the wrong axis.

So were Peanut Butter and Jelly.

The FBI guy, Jack
Hayes, was dead center.

With him in that position, only
two guys could've shot him.

Mitchell the computer
guy. But he wasn't armed.

So if you eliminate that option,
there's only one other possibility.

The murderer must be

Weinstein.

- Weinstein?
- Yeah.

- You absolutely sure?
- Absolutely.

Weinstein, what's
your 20? Oh, shit.

Oh, Shit.

Shit, they shot each other.

No, no.

There's no fucking way that this asshole
was able to draw faster than Weinstein.

No way. And where the fuck
could he get a gun and a silencer?

What do you make of
this, here, spaceman?

I reckon that Weinstein's
pissed because the

computer guy invited
two parties to the heist,

and the computer guy, he's mad
because Weinstein killed the FBI guy.

And they both confront each
other, both draw, both die.

Why would Weinstein
confront him now?

Surprise the bastard.

And why would Weinstein kill an
FBI agent in the middle of a bank heist?

To surprise the bastard.

Weinstein had the computer guy at
gunpoint when he came into the kitchen,

but the computer guy
got two shots into him.

Well, maybe someone surprised
somebody else in some other manner.

What if it wasn't a confrontational
moment? What if they were allies?

Hey.

You better watch your fucking
mouth when you talk about my friend.

He would never turn on me, ever.

We've been working
together for 15 years now.

And that means something
in this fucking business.

Besides, the only people that
had access to the kitchen were, uh,

only Peanut Butter, Jelly and...

- And you, Gates...
- Oh.

...had access to the kitchen.

And the hostages
upstairs in the ceiling.

Wait a minute. The hostages are
crawling around in the fucking ceiling now.

You see that? This
is it. This job is over.

No, no, wait, wait. You, wait
here! Darrien. Darrien, mate, listen.

Listen to me, all right?

That's kind of weird.

Hmm.

Well, PB, what are
we gonna do now?

I got nothing, bro.

Except I'm gonna get this piece
of ear into the freezer up there.

Buddy, I swear, if you
was a woman, I'd marry you.

Well, I ain't.

Whoa, bro. You coming
downstairs with me.

Where's the clicker? We
need it to get out of here.

So there are a couple more dead bodies.
That means we change the plan, all right?

It doesn’t mean
we call off the job.

The plan? You know what
they say about plans, don't ya?

No, what do they say?

They say if you wanna make God laugh,
tell him all about your fucking plans.

And believe me,

that motherfuckers up there
laughing his ass off at us right now,

because ever since we entered
this miserable fucking bank,

nothing has gone according
to the goddamn plan!

Now where's the goddamn clicker?

Weinstein had it, all right?

Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
But where did he put it?

I don't know where he put
it. All right, listen, Darrien.

Just listen to me, all right? Just
calm down and listen to me, all right?

We should've gotten out of
here a long fucking time ago.

- No, no, listen, mate.
- it's over.

We need that to
bust the clutch, yeah?

Yeah, well, I need
it to cut my way out.

Don't fuck me over here, right, 'cause
I wanna stay here and do this bank.

The bank job is a bust!

It's not a fucking bust.
Listen to me, all right.

Me and you sitting on a desert island
somewhere, "sucky-sucky, 5 dollar,"

lots of birds, all
that sort of shit.

Think about it. It's a good
fucking option for you, mate.

I'm getting the
fuck out of here.

Oh, look, Darrien, come
on, mate. You blow the fuck...

Darrien! Come on, man.

The bolts are retracted.
It's just a motor left.

- This will drastically...
- Get the fuck off me!

Look this will drastically
affect your rankings, mate.

That's all I'm fucking
saying, all right.

And I thought you
people had balls!

You're a fucking disgrace to
black criminals everywhere!

Fuck you.

Shit! Fucking shit!

I know tonight's been a
complete and utter fuck-up.

But not any more! No, no.

Now there is only one
robbery team, the three of us.

Hey, can we be Mystic Lightning?

No, you can't be fucking
Mystic Lightning, you muppet.

No more bathroom breaks. No
more perks, no more cushy treatment.

This shit just got
really fucking real!

And because there is now only one
army, there is now only one general.

Me, all right? I'm
the fucking general.

I'm in complete control.

Nothing happens here
without me saying so, all right?

Oh, fucking come on.

Honestly, I don't know
why I fucking bother.

Now go on, take the
hostages up the office. Go on.

Go on.

All right, everybody,
you heard the man.

Come on, come on, get moving. Everybody
up the stairs. Let's go, let's go.

Did you rig his blowtorch?

No, I fucking didn't. And I suppose
you wankers didn't either, right?

Nope.

So what's next? Do we start with
the vault or do we kill all the hostages?

Oh, uh, definitely the vault.

We find that having hostages
around can be real handy.

You can use them as human shields,
or they can fetch stuff for you, like

- bags of money or snacks.
- Fine.

All right, we start with
the vault on one condition.

When the time comes to
do 'em, I get to do 'em all.

Yeah?

Yeah, that shouldn't be a problem.
We ain't really into mass murder.

But if that's part of your MO.,

that's totally cool with us.

All right, let's do it.

Yeah? Come on,
let's get to work.

You okay?

Oh, I'm great. This is so much
better than flying first class,

drinking champagne,
going to my wedding.

If you could walk out of the bank with
the money, would you still need Max?

Oh, God. Seriously, Tripp,
you have got to let this go.

I can't let anything
go. I'm obsessive.

If you had the money,
would you still need Max?

Yes, I would.

- What, to open the door for you?
- Sure.

- To cuddle you at night?
- I'm not so big on cuddling.

Take you to Mom and
Dad for the weekend?

- My mom happens to love him.
- You know what the problem is?

Everybody says money can't buy
happiness, but nobody actually believes it.

Tripp, your persistence
is touching. It really is.

But at 5:00 a.m. I walk out
of here and go back to Max.

So you're saying I
have until 5:00 a.m.

No! That is not what I'm saying.

Now, since the torch is blown,

we'll use a controlled blast
with your C-4 on the clutch there.

Oh, we all about
the controlled blast.

Yeah, that'd be a
nice change of pace.

And I just want you lads to know that
I'm not just using you for your explosives.

Oh, we ain't thought that.

Just go and check on that now.

- Ro-sham-bo?
- Okay.

But no pee, no sneak attacks, no
dynamite, no Apache helicopters,

- and no nuclear weapons.
- Just go and check on them, all right?

And kill whoever's up there.

Dang! He always throws scissors.

Why do I go with
paper? Why, Jelly?

Why do you always go with paper? You know
he's going with scissors. Go with rock.

Yo.

Hello.

Anybody in here?

Hmm?

Hey, man.

I know you're in here.

I don't wanna shoot
you, Tripp. Okay?

I just...

I just wanna rob banks.

And I don't know what's
happening any more.

With the heist?

Yeah with the... With
the heist. With everything.

I should be the happiest
guy in the world right now.

I got a great job. I
work with my best friend.

The hours, they're ideal.

But we never had to shoot
people before, you know?

We never had to
kill anybody before.

Man, can you please
just come out of there?

You know, it's weird saying
all this stuff to a photocopier.

Look, I am not trying
to be negative, okay?

Okay.

It's... All I'm saying is

maybe I'm not good at
robbing banks, you know?

Maybe this is not what Jesus
put me on this earth to do.

I mean, my grandfather,
he sold moonshine

My father was a
repeat sex offender.

I mean, being a
criminal is in my blood.

But between you and me,

it's always been my dream
to work in a water park.

I hear you.

You know, for whatever it's worth, I
think you're a really great bank robber.

- You mean that?
- Mmm-hmm.

I mean, you're not just saying that
'cause I got a gun pointed at your dick?

No, no. Listen. Nothing that has
gone wrong here tonight is your fault.

You're being sabotaged.

Here, look. Look at this. Easy.

- I'm gonna show you something. See?
- Hey!

Hey, where'd you...

Oh, man, where'd you get those?

I stole these from your
suitcase earlier. But listen.

Look, watch. Even with... Even
with a foreign bandwidth interference,

the detonator
should work. Watch.

Nothing. Who
modified this for you?

- Our point man. Are you okay?
- No. Who's your point man?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm
not supposed to tell you that.

Whoever modified
these is trying to kill you.

It's either your point man or...

- How well do you know Peanut Butter?
- Hey, bro!

Me and Peanut Butter, we're
like brothers, you understand me?

- Yeah! Yeah!
- No, actually my brother is a prick.

Me and Peanut Butter are like a couple
of best-friend gay dudes in a bathtub.

That's how fucking
tight we are. Okay?

Look. There's a
lot of money at play.

You have to look
at all the angles.

You know, he did
know about that freezer

even though we had
never been in that kitchen.

Then again, it is a kitchen.

- Touché.
- Who's your point man?

Look at me, man. I'm a fucking mess.
You can trust me. Who's your point man?

All right, fine, here.
There. Look at it.

Name's Vicellous
Drum. We never met him.

But his cheques cleared
and his info was straight.

Never saw a face, just a fax.

Is getting a fax normal?

Yeah, yeah, you think
everybody'd be into the e-mail, right?

Nah, see. The cops, they got
a million ways to track that stuff,

but they kind of skipped
on the anti-fax technology.

You know? Plus, it... Everybody
likes the convenience of a hard copy.

I don't mean to frighten you,

but do you think there could be
something to this conspiracy theory?

Well, I don't wanna...

I don't wanna impugn
anyone's character,

but the other night I caught
Rex measuring the vault.

I asked him what he was doing
and he said he was trying to see

if there was enough room
for the new foreign currencies.

- Oh, my God, that's so weird.
- It is.

He would know when
the system was down.

Oh, my God, he would.

Well, and of course, as he's had to
tell us multiple times, he's an expert

at bank-robbery procedure.

- You're right.
- But, Mr. Blythe...

- What?
- ...he is such a dork.

Anyone seen my glucose shot?

- Oh!
- Get a chair!

Oh, my gosh. Oh! You're
gonna be okay. Oh, my goodness.

Does anybody have
any sugar? Rex?

No, I don't snack.

Okay, hold his
head. Hold his head.

Fire! Fire!

Fire!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Where's the fire?

This man needs a glucose shot

and otherwise he's gonna
die, and I'm gonna go get it

and you can't stop me.
Come on, everybody.

Okay, but where's the fire?

So, do you work with this
Vicellous Drum guy a lot?

Yeah. We were
decoys for him once.

He had us rob this Jiffy Lube while
he pulled this big heist downtown.

Bummer is this lube place
has got, like, no cash in it.

I mean, we scored
like 80 bucks Canadian.

Hey! Oh, Mr. Blythe
is having a diabetic fit.

We have to find his shot. Come
on, come on, come on, come on.

Where's my gun?

Check under the ledges. That's
where we hid contraband in Joliet.

Stuck it under there with gum.

Wait. You're an ex-con and
you're guarding this bank?

Yeah. I might've taken a
few liberties on my resume.

- What were you in jail for?
- Not bank robbery.

I committed other
victimless... You know?

- Mmm-hmm.
- Mail fraud. I did a lot of mail fraud.

Mmm-hmm.

- Fine, but they weren't even big banks.
- How many banks have you robbed?

A few dozen.

- Oh, my God.
- Relax.

I'm rehabilitated and shit.

So, what's your
deal? You single?

I think I found it.

Oh, my God.

Wow, his pulse has
come back already.

He's starting to open his eyes.

He's a tough old bird.

- Wanna sit up?
- Ready?

All right, I'm closing this door
for the last time. Are we clear?

I said, is that clear,
you fucking cunts?

Oh! Oh, I don't... I
don't like that word.

- What did you just say?
- I don't like the C-word.

Now you try saying that one
more time and I'll out your...

I said I don't like the C-word!

And in America we never use it!

Oh, good, the fucking
hostages are armed.

He got the same type
of gun that you do, Jelly.

That is my gun, dude.

I suppose you'll
be needing this?

What the fuck is that?

That is our way out of here.
So what do you want, a cut?

A conversation outside. Let's
go. Hands over your heads, now!

Hands over your
heads. Let's go, outside.

Calm down now, calm down,
you fucking maniac. All right?

- Tell me about your point man.
- Why?

Unless you have something to barter
with, you will answer my fucking questions!

All right, all right. Weinstein
was our liaison, all right?

- I never met our point man.
- How did you communicate?

- I'm not gonna tell you that.
- Do you wanna get out of here?

Do you wanna get
out of here? Just do it!

- Answer the question!
- All right. Listen, listen. Look.

This fax was all
we got, all right?

Now, I'll trade you for the
Clicker. All right, there it is.

- Nice and slow.
- All right, stand up!

Now give me the
Clicker. Give me the clicker.

Here's the clicker.

All right.

- Now give me the fucking gun.
- Whoa! Now, that's Jelly's gun.

It was his mother's.

Your mother's gun?

Your mother gave it to you?

All right, I'm sorry. All right.

What, are you giving the fucking
hostages your gun now, eh?

- No, I didn't...
- Are you a fucking...

Have you lost your fucking marbles?
You just lost your gun privileges. Go on.

Go on.

Jesus. And you.

If I hear one more fucking
peep out of you, one,

- then you're a dead man, all right?
- All right.

- Now get your arse back in there.
- All right, thank you.

I'm in.

Jesus.

Now let's get back to work.

- Oh, my God!
- What is that all about?

I just traded the key
out of here for this fax!

And that's a good trade?

I don't know. That's
why I kept the battery.

Look.

Listen. Mr. Blythe told me that he saw
Rex measuring the inside of the safe,

and I noticed that when I asked for the
chair, Swiss Miss brought it right over.

Speaking of Swiss Miss...

Hey, Swiss Miss is missing.

Oh, my God, it's happening.

- It's happening.
- What is happening?

- it's happening.
- What?

The faxes. The
night-vision goggles.

Oh, my God, the
fucking faxes. The goggles.

What are you talking about?

- 155, 70...
- Tripp, stop counting.

- Those faxes... The gun... Huh?
- Tripp, stop! Stop!

- What?
- Why the fuck did you do that?

Because I thought it
would help clear your mind.

No, it doesn't work like that!

For fuck's sake.

I got 8,000 things going
on in my mind right now,

and I have to think
about the kiss, too?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, my
brain is gonna explode!

Oh, God!

The dude's crazy
but he is very gifted.

I know. He is a bona
fide criminal mastermind.

We're blessed.

Can we help you?

Yeah. Get you, you
know, like a diet soda?

Will you please just
go anywhere else?

One hour left.

We're gonna make it
here, team. I told you.

So far the only people that
have been killed are criminals.

And they can all go fucking
kill each other, for all I care.

We're survivors. Or as I
like to call us, hero-vivors_

Everyone, starting tomorrow, you
are getting one week's paid vacation.

Son of a bitch. I
already got next week off.

Well, then, we're gonna
have to give you another week.

Thank you.

We're not safe yet.

You're that upset that you
were wrong and I was right?

No. Oh, no!

Oh, my God! Oh, God.

- Wait. What’s that in her bra?
- I'll get it!

- Okay.
- Do it.

Oh, this is really gross.

Go ahead. Pull
it. Pull it out. Nice.

She works at a Swiss bank?

Oh, man. What a waste.

It's like extra sad
when a hot chick dies.

When a ugly chick dies, it's like,
their life probably sucked anyway,

so it's no big deal.

But when a hot chick
dies, it's, like, totally tragic.

I know, I mean, hot chicks,
they're like unicorns or leprechauns.

They're rare and they're precious
and they need to be protected.

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- What?

This is not a robbery.

This is not a robbery!
This is not a robbery!

You're a fucking dead man.

Hakuna matata, motherfucker!

Just hear me out and I
will return your firing pin.

All right, yeah.

These are the two faxes inviting
both your teams to rob this bank.

This is a fax inviting
Swiss Miss here.

They're all completely different

except each one has a blemish
that appears every 3.2 inches.

It is made when the printing
drum has a scratch on it.

- I don't get it.
- Me neither.

Each one was printed
by the same machine?

You were all invited
here by the same person.

The same person, who?

- Vicellous Drum.
- Who's Vicellous Drum?

The number-one criminal
mastermind in the world.

He's stupid smart.

This is not a bank robbery.
This is an organized ambush.

Vicellous Drum has a problem.

He's gotta kill a bunch of people
who are all connected to him

but he can't look
like he's behind it.

So you're saying that
each of us here is connected

to this Whatever Drum
person for some reason?

Yes. Here, let me
lay it out for you.

If I am right about this, the FBI
agent has been after Drum for years.

Darrien and Weinstein
worked for Drum before.

The Swiss bank representative
launders Drum's money.

Mitchell Wolf is
Drum's computer hacker

Peanut Butter and Jelly have
worked for him as decoys.

Each one of them
could rat him out.

And as for the rest
of you, who knows?

Maybe Mr. Blythe
denied Mr. Drum a loan.

Maybe Madge and her
kind, wonderful, warm tones

offended Mr. Drum in some way.

Maybe Mr. Clean flirted
with him in a prison shower

Give one blowjob in prison
and you never live it down, never.

Maybe we're all
here by accident.

Like me, just collateral damage.

Oh, you have
gotta be kidding me.

Lock us in a bank and
hope we all kill each other?

I mean, that is a sloppy
plan, especially for Drum.

Which is why he's
here, in person.

Oh, come on.

Just think about it. The
blowtorch, the explosives,

they all went off at
exactly the right time.

The FBI agent was obviously
the biggest threat to Drum,

so he had Weinstein
take him out first.

See, that's right. Weinstein was
working for Drum from the beginning.

So was Mitchell, who knew when
the security system would be down.

And so Drum killed them next.

Drum did his best to make
it look like a double murder

But the clicker that
was in Weinstein's mouth

was a big red flag that
something strange was going on.

My best guess is that Weinstein
must've hid the clicker in his mouth

to prevent the real killer, Vicellous
Drum, from getting out of the bank.

Next, Drum took out Darrien
with a rigged blowtorch.

And then Drum
shot the Swiss Miss.

Five down, only eight to go.

Oh, that is fucking
bullshit. You know what?

That's a nice little story you told,
sunshine, but I've got a vault to blow.

It's not gonna open up. Listen
to me. The money's like flypaper.

It's just a lure to get you
here so Drum can kill you.

Come on, hell, there's no
money in the bank at all!

Of course there's fucking money
in a bank. Don't even say that.

No way, dude. We have
worked way too hard for this.

You are not listening to me.
This is not a bank robbery!

Well, this is the best damn
non-bank robbery I've ever seen.

And you said there's no
money in the vault, eh?

You just don't
get it. It's flypaper.

Yeah, eat your
words, freak show.

Mother-roo.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

So it doesn't matter
that the money is here?

Vicellous Drum is still
gonna try to kill everybody?

Yeah. I can't believe nobody's
starting to lose their mind right now.

I don't know which one
of you is Vicellous Drum.

You stay the hell away from me.

Aren't you gonna get a gun?

No, it doesn't matter.

Drum's plan was always to
take out numerous armed targets.

Our only hope
is to outthink him.

So how do you kill a
bank full of armed people?

Cut off the lights, strap on the

night-vision goggles
and take everybody out.

Jesus Christ, how'd you
come up with that idea?

In the office you said something
about there being night-vision goggles.

- Yes, there's a pair in the bathroom.
- So what more do you need?

Whichever guy goes for the
goggles is Vicellous Drum.

Or whatever girl.

Drachmas? How the fuck
we gonna fence drachmas?

Hey, how much you
think we've got here?

Oh, I reckon about 4 or 5 loads.

So, let's get cracking,
eh? Chop-chop.

Really? Now you
decide to save the bank?

No, man, I wanna go with you.
There's a fucking murderer in here!

Well, I'm going too.
I'm totally freaked out.

- I wanna go with you.
- Don't forget me, motherfuckers.

Oh, so we're all here.

Why don't we hold hands
as we go up to the roof, eh?

It's no use, guys. You're never
gonna get out of this bank alive.

Oh, would you not say
ominous shit like that?

You gonna spook Jelly.

Actually, Tripp's right.

Your key won't work. There's
no battery in that Clicker.

Oh, you've got to be
fucking kidding me.

Now which one of you
bastards has the battery!

Vicellous Drum.

- You took the battery to keep us here.
- No...

Plus you spent half your time
wandering around the bank.

You could've killed
anyone at any time.

And what's more mastermindish
than setting up the perfect crime

and then trying to
solve it bit by bit?

I cannot believe I kissed you.

Doesn't take a mastermind
to get under your skirt, sweetie.

Oh, don't flatter yourself
that you'd ever get that far.

And the rest of you idiots, if you'd
been paying any attention at all,

you would've realised that all
the evidence points to Madge!

No, it don't!

Who turned out the lights?

Oh, come on. What
the fuck? Not again.

Shoot anything that
moves. Unless it's me.

It's Drum. it's fucking Drum.

Vicellous Drum.

Where is he?

We ain't seen dick-all, bro.

Drum?

Come on out.

Come on out!

Come on, Drum. Come on out.

It's not me. I'm telling you,
I am not Vicellous Drum.

I shut off the lights
because I knew the real

Drum would go for the
night-vision goggles.

Then I went up to the
bathroom and I waited.

Oh.

The sick kindly bank
manager with the heart of gold.

Everyone's gonna be
shocked when they hear it's you.

You think so?

Those clowns in the lobby
think you're Vicellous Drum.

So if I kill you, I
look more like a hero.

And you kill me, you look
even more like Vicellous Drum.

So either way,
you're just fucked.

Very entertaining story, Drum,
but no one's gonna believe it.

Come on out. No more
lying. The game is over.

Not so fast.

Tripp and I set you up.

We knew when the lights went out

that whoever went for those
night-vision goggles was our guy.

You can't kill all of us.

Can he?

No.

One million dollars each.

Untraceable.

All of you.

Two million dollars.

Put the gun down!

Put the gun down and we'll talk.

Ah, fuck it.

And then there were six.

- Here, the Clicker.
- Thanks, bro.

Well, I guess
that's all she wrote.

Take it.

- It's insured.
- Mmm-hmm.

FDIC, baby. You got
to love the New Deal!

Mother-FOO.

Thanks, badgers.

I just wanna say one thing.

From here on out, me and
Jelly is going straight, ain't we?

Yeah. Straight to the
Hooters in Cancun!

I almost forgot my ear.

So after all that,

two guys named Peanut Butter
and Jelly got away with all the money?

Yeah. It's crazy stupid.

I think they said they
were fleeing to Winnipeg.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- You are free to go.
- Thank you.

All right, lock down
all northbound routes.

- Here are your meds, sir.
- Oh.

Oh, I'll take the Whole thing.

Suzie, hero is not a
word that I would use.

Did I lead my team of hostages
through the darkest night of their lives?

Yeah, I did my job.

- I want two months off, paid.
- Yes, ma'am.

I wanna wear jeans five days a week, not
just Friday. And I want LASIK, both eyes.

Really, guys, you
don't have to do this.

It's not a problem, ma'am.

Well, thank you.

Thank you.

- There you are, ma'am.
- Good to go.

- Congratulations.
- Thanks, Officers.

Thanks again, Officer.

- Oh, shit.
- Wow, what is this?

Is it a toaster?

Is it a gravy boat?

Ooh. Wow, some
people like to give cash.

I never quite bought your
cover story. Didn't ring true.

Then I remembered
Weinstein said he was shocked

that only two bank robberies
were going down tonight.

And then I realised
there were actually three.

Pretty solid plan.

Kaitlin Nest, plucky new feller
who married the wrong guy.

Such a sympathetic story.

Your fake fiancé Max
explains your expensive tastes.

Your history of exotic travel

explains your sudden trip
to a non-extradition state.

And your phoney wedding presents
allowed you to walk out of the bank

with hundreds of pounds of cash
without anyone raising an eyebrow.

You were gonna make
your move around 7:00 p.m.

when all the security went down.

But Darrien and Drum and
everyone else derailed your plan.

You must've been so pissed.

But you bided your time,
waiting for your opportunity.

And when I killed the
lights, you took your shot.

Take it.

- It's insured.
- Mmm-hmm.

It's genius, actually.

No one's gonna open up a
woman's wedding presents.

And then to have the
cops carry the money out

of the bank and into
the trunk of your car?

Honestly, I think
I'm in love with you.

Too soon to say that?

What do you want, Tripp?

- Isn't it obvious? I want in.
- Really?

Equal partners. We
only work the long con.

No violence, no bodies.

What makes you
think I won't kill you?

You're not the killing kind.

Besides, you like me.

- You think so?
- Oh, I know so. it'll be fun.

You already know
we'd make a great team.

What do you say?

Are you gonna freak out?

I don't know what
you mean. What?

The last time I kissed you, you
freaked out and it was pretty pathetic.

What's your real name?

Alexis Black, number
three in banks.

Oh, that's so fucking hot.