All language subtitles for mnmn1 (3)

Mmm.

Mmm...

Mmm-mmm-mmm.

Excuse me.

Oh. You.

Yeah, me.

Uh, would you mind
putting that out?

What, this?

Yeah, that. The smoke's
coming right in my window.

close your window.

Well, I could close my window,

but I shouldn't have to
on a warm evening like this

just because my neighbor

has chosen to pollute his lungs
and everything around him.

Yeah, well, thanks,
but you don't have to worry

about my lungs.

It's a cigar.
You don't inhale cigar smoke.

Well, I'm sure inhaling it.

Well, you should try
not to do that.

Well, I don't seem to
have much choice.

Well, I gave you my window idea.

I don't know what else
to tell you.

Don't you think you're
being a little childish?

- How many children do you know
smoke cigars? -Uh...

Your attitude.

Obviously, this whole
cigar thing

is your way of throwing
a little temper tantrum

because you keep asking me out
and I keep rejecting you.

You need to think that,
go ahead.

This, however,
happens to be a gift

from a very grateful patient

thanking me for treating
his emphysema.

He gets better,
I get his cigars.

It's what we in the medical
profession call "win-win."

Well, there are tears
in my eyes.

Mmm.

But not from your stupid story,

so why don't you just
put that out?

Why don't you just
leave me alone?

You know, this is a Cuban cigar.

They're very hard to come by.

Cuban, huh?
So what you're doing is illegal.

No, what I'm doing

is giving meaning
to the pitiful lives

of the poor, oppressed workers
who made this.

Now, maybe you
could throw it away,

but I'll be damned
if I'm gonna snuff out

the very thing
that gives them reason

to crawl out of bed
in the morning.

- You're a saint.
-Mmm.

And, uh, by the way,
your shirt's on fire.

Yeah, right.
Ow! Gee! Oh! Gah! Oh! Ow!

Good morning, John.

How are you?

How am I? How am I?

Yeah, I'm tired
and I'm pissed off

'cause somebody woke me up
at 4:00 a.m.

You want to know who woke me up
at 4:00 a.m.?

My insane, vindictive,
lunatic neighbor

who hates me, that's who.

You're going to have
to be more specific.

Chris! You know, I was jolted
out of a sound sleep

by a "thump, thump, thump"
on my-my ceiling

like she was jumping up and down
on a... on a pogo stick,

all to get back at me for some
perceived cigar incident.

I mean, who does that
at 4:00 a.m. in the morning?

Are you even listening to me?

Chris, thump, 4:00 a.m. Got it.

I mean, h-how do you deal
with somebody

who is so irrational,
so childish, so petty?

Sometimes all you can do

is smile and keep them busy
with other things.

Ed Garland is in two,

Mrs. Henderson is in one,

and Mr. Dorsey's X-rays
are on your desk.

Morning, Dr. Becker.

Not now, Linda.

And I know what you
were doing, Margaret.

After ten years, I'd hope so.

Margaret, I have to leave early
to get to the airport.

Where are you going
on a Tuesday?

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm flying in from Los Angeles.

You're flying in
from Los Angeles

and coming here to New York?

Yeah. I caught the 7:00 a.m.
flight this morning

out of LAX and I land

at Kennedy at around 3:30
New York time.

You know, sometimes

I have to figure out a way
to look interested,

but this time, I actually am.

Go.

Well, I met this guy named
Kevin at a bar down in SoHo,

and he was cute and nice

and I really wanted him
to like me,

so when he asked where I lived,

it seemed so boring to just say
that I'm from here,

work in a crappy
doctor's office,

and why don't we all
just slip into a coma.

So, when I heard "L.A. Woman"
playing on the jukebox,

I improvised and told him
I was from L.A.

Pretty good thinking, huh?

Well, it's some kind
of thinking.

Um, just curious--
what is it you do in L.A.?

I'm a commodities broker

at a very prestigious
firm downtown.

Linda, you don't know anything
about commodities.

I don't think anyone
really does.

This has got to be
the most bizarre thing

you've ever done,

and that includes that weekend
you became a Geisha.

Look, can I leave early
or not?

Kevin's picking me up
at baggage claim

and I still have to pack.

Fine!

Oh, it's gonna be good
to get away.

Morning, Jake.

Hey, Bob.

You know, I have to be here,

but with Reggie gone,
the diner's not even open.

I mean, wh-what do you
come here for?

Well, you're still open
for business, right?

I come here to support you.

Then try buying something.

Moral support, buddy,
moral support.

You made coffee, huh?

Well, I made something.
You tell me.

It's not bad.

It's not coffee,
but it's not bad.

Actually, you know what, Bob?
I need to talk to you.

Now, I'm helping Amanda
paint the bedroom...

Whoa, hold on a second.

You're helping Amanda paint?

Moral support, buddy,
moral support.

L-I think she lied to me
about the color.

Now, is this a can
of white paint?

Close.

It's a can of baked beans.

Damn it, I grabbed
the wrong one.

Well, if it helps, there's some
paint on your shirt.

Oh, really?
What color is it?

Ah, it's sort of a soft pastel.

Kind of a blush pink.

Kind of a...
Ah, who am I kidding? It's gay.

So she did lie to me.

She told me
it was white, man.

I can't believe she'd do that.

She lied to you,
she deceived you.

- She clearly has no respect
for you. -Mm-hmm.

But on the plus side,
we got baked beans for lunch.

There you are.

I've been leaving messages
for you all day.

Becker, think about it.

Why would I ruin my life
with an answering machine

that actually recorded
incoming calls?

Listen, John, I got to talk
to you about Amanda real quick.

Yeah, l-later.
Look, Chris was up at 4:00 a.m.

stomping all over
her apartment

while I was trying to sleep.

Now, it's your job
as building super

to either fine her,
or evict her,

or have her arrested,
I don't really care which.

I like Chris. She's pretty.

So, John, about
this Amanda thing...

Yeah, later. I'm trying
to deal with Bob here.

Fine.

- Look, I'm serious.
-I know you are.

- Hey, Jake.
-Hey.

Why are you, uh, holding
a can of baked beans?

I'm painting my apartment.

Hey, hi. Here she is.
Let her have it.

You know? Ask-ask her
why she was making

all that noise this morning.

Go ahead. Ask her.

You look pretty today.

Thanks, Bob.

And you can tell my neighbor

that I was jumping rope
this morning.

Jumping rope!
Did you hear that?! Jump...

Ask her why, Bob.

Do something different
with your hair?

Yeah, thanks.
I'm trying a new mousse.

And you can tell him

that as a child,
I was very sick--

maybe the doctor is familiar
with fibromyalgia--

and so it's important
for me to exercise my legs

to keep them from shriveling up
like so much rotten fruit.

Yeah, I saw that movie, too,
this morning at 4:00 a.m.

But at least that little girl
had the decency

to exercise
before she went to bed.

Yeah, well, she didn't have
to wait for the cigar smoke

to clear out of her apartment.

Bob, just tell her
to knock it off.

So what do you wear
when you jump rope?

Yes-- I'm warning you,
I better not hear

a jump rope tonight.

Don't worry, you won't.

I rented a belt sander.

I'm going to strip my floors.

You know something? I don't
appreciate the sarcasm.

You hear that?

Yeah-- stripping her floors.

Good morning, John.

I want you to get on the phone
and find me a 12-foot pole

with a boot on the end of it.
Don't ask why, just do it.

Six more credits, and I could
have been a court reporter.

Sorry I'm late, Margaret.

The market was crazy
this morning.

I had to go down to
Wall Street for a meeting.

You actually went all the way
down to Wall Street?

I had to.

Kevin insisted
on waiting with me

until I got on the bus.

Well, then, why didn't you just
take it one stop and get off?

It was an express, smarty-pants.

We had the greatest night.

This city can be so romantic,

it almost makes me want
to live here.

You mean, more than
you already do?

Oh, Margaret, it was fantastic.

From the second we kissed hello
at the airport, it was magic.

We came into the city,
we walked down Fifth Avenue,

and for dinner, we found
this cute little French place

in Gramercy Park
that nobody knows about.

That place you go to
all the time?

That's the one.

Then we had cappuccinos

at this outdoor cafe
in Green-which Village.

It's Greenwich Village.

I know, but Kevin thinks
it's cute

the way I mispronounce it.

Then we spent the night

at this fabulous apartment
overlooking Central Park

where my company put me up.

You mean your apartment?

That's the one.

You know, I think
this thing with Kevin

could turn into something great.

But it's dishonest.

Margaret, think about it.

If I told Kevin
that I was from New York,

we'd see each other
every single day,

and then before you know it,
it'd be the same old, same old.

Pretty soon, I'd stop
paying attention to my hair,

stop shaving my legs...

Well, you know what
I'm talking about.

It was just that one week
when I was sick!

Look, Linda...

when you're in an honest,
long-term relationship

like I am with Louis,
you'll find comfort and security

in coming home to the same
person every night.

Okay, last night,

when he was sitting there
in his shorts

burping out all the answers
to Wheel of Fortune,

it wasn't exactly a high point,
and I told him...

What I'm trying to say is,

if you build
a relationship on a lie,

then you'll always
have to pretend

it's something it's not.

Pretty cool, huh?

I'm sorry.

Did we schedule a sleepover?

Is this pillowcase dark gray
with steel blue trim?

Close. It's pale blue
with dainty little flowers.

So... so it's not
a guy's pillowcase.

Well, I'm sure a certain type
of guy might like it.

Damn it, Amanda's making
my apartment all girly

and she's lying to me
about it.

This is what I've been trying
to talk to you about all day.

All right, all right.
Fine, you know.

We are close friends.
I guess I can't get out of this.

Come on in.
I'll get you a beer.

What's going on?

Well, it's like I said,
you know?

Amanda's redecorating
the apartment,

and she's lying to me
about it.

I mean, does she really think
that she can fool me?

Huh? That I can't just
bring someone

into my bedroom
and ask them what color it is?

Ah, women.
Who knows how they think?

Yeah. I mean, I've told her
what I want, right?

But sometimes it feels like
she doesn't even listen to me.

- Shh-Shh!
-What is it?

Here you go. I'm sorry,
buddy, keep talking.

- I'm right here, pal.
-Yeah.

I mean, does she... does she
have so little respect for me

that she'd just lie
right to my face?

Ah, women. Heh.

You can't trust 'em.

Um... I'm going to have
to, uh, hang

some socks out on
the fire escape here, pal.

But you keep talking.
I can hear you loud and clear.

I mean, when trust disappears
in a relationship,

well, the relationship just
goes right out the window.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

If I can't trust

the woman I'm living with,
well, I'm in

a whole truckload
of trouble right there.

Hey, women!
What are you gonna do?

Well, let's say maybe one day
we decide to get married

and it doesn't quite work out,

and somewhere down
the road, she decides

she wants a divorce
but she doesn't want

to go through the formalities
of getting a divorce,

all she's gotta do is...

Another cigar?

Wow. In Cuba, you must be,
like, a national hero.

Oh, hello. Yeah.

Well, just trying to do my part.

Hands across the water
and all that.

Well, if the cigarettes
don't kill you,

it's good to have a backup.

Gee, I hope the smoke's
not bothering you.

No, no, not me.

But it does seem to dry out
my plant.

Maybe I better freshen it up
a bit.

Yeah, you do that.

Wow, it looks better already.

I don't know, John.

I feel like my whole
relationship

is at stake here, you know?

I mean,
am I missing something?

Is there some secret
to getting along with women?

Do you think I know?
Feel my head.

Flying back to California today?

Yeah. I have a 6:00 flight.

Kevin's so sweet.

He wants to take me to
the airport to say good-bye.

So, let me just check here.

I'm all packed, I've got my
plane ticket... I'm ready to go.

You bought a plane ticket?

I got to hand it to you, Linda.

When you commit yourself to
something, you don't go halfway.

Well, that would be pointless.

Halfway would be, like,
somewhere in Oklahoma.

Besides, the plane ticket's
the best part.

See, when we're at the airport
saying good-bye,

we know we have to savor
every moment we have together,

then... I take out the ticket,

and we realize
it's time for me to go.

That's when things
really heat up.

Well, Linda, you've got it all.

Too bad none of it's real.

What kind of deranged person
pours water over your head

when you're pretending
to hang imaginary socks

out on a fire escape?

I hardly ever know
what he's talking about.

Never mind him.

When is your company sending you
back to New York?

Well, let's see... I've got to
be in Paris for a conference...

Ooh, I would love
to go to Paris.

So would I.

Anyways, I've got a ten-hour
layover on my way home.

So, I'm going
to surprise Kevin

and book a room
at the Plaza for the afternoon.

Last time I took Louis
to the Plaza,

he stole an ashtray
and sold it on eBay.

Hello, Louis.

Whatcha doin'?

Well, pretend I don't know.

Yeah, as if the pink paint
and the flowered sheets

weren't bad enough,

this morning,
I reached down for my shoes

and I found my bed had a ruffly
little skirt all around it.

Now, I know I sure as hell
didn't put it there.

I don't know what to do,
Margaret.

Do... do I confront her?

Do... do I forget it?

- Do I...
-Oh, shut up.

What?

Is there excitement
in your life?

Yeah, I guess.

Is there passion?

Yeah.

Has she worn the same pair

of raggedy-ass sweatpants
to bed

-for the last seven years?
-No.

Then trust me,
you've got a good life.

But it's my apartment.

Oh, for God's sake,
you're blind.

You can imagine you live
anywhere you want

with anybody you want.

- Hi, Margaret.
-Yeah, yeah.

- Hey, Jake.
-Hey, Chris.

Hey, uh, do me a favor.
I-l gotta go.

Here are the keys.
Would you lock up for me?

Where are you going?

Home to Trump Tower to sleep
with Elle Macpherson.

- Hey, Jake.
-Hey, later, John.

Oh, yeah, there you are.

You know that plant you
just had to water last night?

I checked-- it's plastic!

Huh. No wonder it's not growing.

You know something,
maybe you ought to join a gym.

You know, work off
some of this aggression.

I don't need to join a gym.

I just bought a new
clog dancing tape.

- I get plenty of exercise.
-If I hear one clog, I swear...

Don't you tell me
what I can and cannot do.

- If I want to sand my floors...
- Bob! Bob!

You gotta throw
her ass out of here!

I gotta tell you something,
man, she's...

He's lucky I just dropped
water on him. I should've...

Stop it!

What is the matter with you two?

- He's the most selfish...
-She's got plastic plants

up there. It's a fire hazard.

Shut up!

Look, either sleep together or
kill each other, I don't care!

Just leave me out of it.

The two of you
are acting like children.

You should be
ashamed of yourself.

And you know what you should be
the most ashamed of?

That we had to hear it
from you?

Wasn't where I was going,
but excellent point.

My God...

how did you two sink so low?

Oh, I wish I didn't have to go
back to California.

I'm gonna miss you.

I'll miss you more.

Every time I pass that cafe,
I'll think of you.

And I'll think of you
every time I... go surfing.

You're so cute.

Yeah, I know.

Well, I guess it's...

...time.

Okay, I really have to go.

Wait, I've got
a surprise for you.

I'm coming with you.

Los Angeles Flight 82
from New York now arriving.

Uh, Margaret, I may be
a little late tomorrow.

Let's go, honey.

I can't wait to see
your beach house.

Neither can I.

Hi.

Oh... hi.

I love looking at the city
at night.

I like to think
each of those lights

is someone falling in love.

I always figure
it's someone being murdered.

Well, it's funny how often one
seems to lead to the other, huh?

No, it... it's okay,
you can smoke.

Oh, that's all right.
I know it bothers you.

No, no, go ahead. I'll just...
I'll-I'll close my window.

Nah, you know, I probably
shouldn't smoke anyway.

I think I read somewhere
it's not all that good for you.

Wow, look at that, I believe
we just reached a compromise.

Oh, I guess we did.

We, uh... we did get
a little silly, didn't we?

I suppose.

You know, there's no reason
we can't get along, you know,

like neighbors.

Could happen.

Maybe even... like friends.

Anything's possible.

Is that your doorbell?

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Are you expecting company
or something?

- Uh, yeah, or something.
-Oh.

Somebody you know?
A guy, or...?

What if it is?

Wait, I-l just think
it's little late, isn't it?

Excuse me?

Well, who has a guy over
at 11:00?

Well, what's it matter to you?

It doesn't. I just think
it's a little weird.

Well, fortunately,
it is none of your business.

Come on in!

Oh, Steve, hi.

- Steve? -Hi. I was afraid
you'd never get here.

I really need this.

Now, get in here
and shut the door.

Ooh, this is so hot!

I have been looking forward
to this all week.

Wait, I-l don't understand.

Thanks for the pizza.
You can go now.

But you said I was hot.

You're not. Go.