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1
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,896
How the hell's a person
supposed to quit smoking
2
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,266
when every time you turn on
the damn TV, there...
3
00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:29,271
there's a commercial
with beautiful people
4
00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:31,205
happily sucking on a cigarette?
5
00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:33,368
They don't have
cigarette commercials anymore.
6
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:34,478
Yeah, I know, I know.
7
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:35,909
They were great, though,
weren't they?
8
00:00:37,137 --> 00:00:38,241
I feel for you, Becker.
9
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:39,612
I mean, you drift
through life alone
10
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:40,946
till you find something
that makes you happy,
11
00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:42,553
and then one day,
it's just taken away from you
12
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:43,552
for no good reason.
13
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:46,248
Nudie bar on the corner
still padlocked?
14
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:49,293
Those girls were just trying
to earn a living.
15
00:00:49,416 --> 00:00:51,521
Oh, hey. Here comes Jake.
16
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:53,529
How's he doing
since Amanda left him?
17
00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:57,764
He seems better.
18
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,370
Hey, guys.
19
00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:00,665
What happened to your voice?
20
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:03,934
Oh, I was up all night
crying and screaming, "Why me?"
21
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,010
I still can't believe Amanda's
out of my life forever.
22
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,635
Well, now, come on.
You don't know that.
23
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:09,076
She might have
a change of heart.
24
00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:12,274
She had an affair and ran off
to marry the guy in Vegas.
25
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,153
Diner.
26
00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:18,756
Roger!
27
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:19,949
Oh, you're kidding!
28
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,082
Oh, no, that's only
a block from here.
29
00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:24,058
Of course I want to see you.
30
00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:25,959
Get over here!
31
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,929
My ex-husband's coming over!
32
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:30,433
Uh, how do I look?
33
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:33,094
Well, look who suddenly
cares how she looks.
34
00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:35,228
Look who should start.
35
00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:37,808
No, seriously. You know,
why would you care to impress
36
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,569
some guy
you're not with anymore?
37
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,441
Well, I still care
what he thinks. I like him.
38
00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:43,275
The only reason we split up
is 'cause he wanted
39
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:45,314
to keep traveling around
and I wanted to settle down.
40
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:46,975
I mean, it's not like
he had an affair
41
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,108
and ran off with someone else.
42
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:52,280
Oh, sorry... sorry, Jake.
43
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,721
- So, Becker...
-Yeah?
44
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:57,260
- You curious to check this
guy out? -No. Why would I be?
45
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:58,988
Well, I'm just saying,
if I asked someone out
46
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,325
and got rejected
over and over and over...
47
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,263
- What's your point?
-...and over...
48
00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:04,096
I would want to know
who made the cut.
49
00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:05,669
I mean, they had
an amazing life together.
50
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:06,998
They traveled
all over the world.
51
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,970
Did you know they had sex
in 29 different countries?
52
00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:10,131
This one time, they were in
53
00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:12,243
-a gondola in Venice...
-She told you that?
54
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:13,743
Hey, you don't just leave
your journal in your purse
55
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,073
if you don't want anybody
to read it.
56
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:19,050
Oh, my God.
Becker, check out Roger.
57
00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:20,583
He's gorgeous!
58
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:23,178
Um... excuse... excuse me?
59
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,551
Could I, uh, get by? Thanks.
60
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,920
Uh, is Chris Connor here?
61
00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:29,652
Roger?
62
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:32,525
- Oh, hey!
-Hey, hi! Oh...
63
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,132
That's Roger?
64
00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:36,757
- He's, like, eight years old.
-Gosh, it's great to see you.
65
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,164
You-you look great!
66
00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:39,929
Well, so do you, so do you.
67
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:41,300
Well, so, what are you
doing here?
68
00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:42,634
Oh, well, I'm flying
to Australia.
69
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,242
Had a one-day stopover.
Figured I'd check up on you.
70
00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:45,502
Oh, well, here I am.
71
00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:46,702
Yes, and look at you.
72
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,005
- Yeah.
-Look at you with your...
73
00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:50,308
your fancy restaurant
and your...
74
00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:54,213
...cash register and your...
75
00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:58,289
...right to refuse service
to anyone.
76
00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:01,154
Hey, Becker,
I got something in my nose?
77
00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:02,351
Which reminds me...
78
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:05,156
Roger, this is, uh,
Bob, John and Jake.
79
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:06,958
- Hey. -How you doing?
-How's it going?
80
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,657
So, uh... so sit down.
Have a cup of coffee.
81
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:09,995
Oh, actually, I can't.
I've got to do
82
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,033
some errands in the city.
83
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:12,068
But I thought you could
come with me.
84
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,193
- Maybe we could catch up.
-Oh... oh, I don't know.
85
00:03:13,326 --> 00:03:15,328
Uh, there's usually
a breakfast rush, and...
86
00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:17,032
Who am I kidding?
They're already here.
87
00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:19,201
Uh... Jake, watch the place
for me, will you?
88
00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:21,642
I'll do my best.
89
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:26,747
Oh, man, that's great.
90
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:27,977
Why? Because her ex-husband
91
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,418
is less Indiana Jones
and more Harry Potter?
92
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:33,423
No, no. You know,
it's not a competition.
93
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,254
You know, I'm sure he's got
interesting quali...
94
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,461
Yeah, that's it.
95
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:40,826
Harry Potter!
96
00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:51,574
Margaret, you're not
going to believe this.
97
00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:53,575
I just drove up,
and there it was,
98
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:56,010
just sitting in the street,
waiting for me to take it.
99
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,945
You mean that tie?
Because, frankly, I don't see
100
00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,744
-who'd fight you for it.
-What...?
101
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:02,376
No, no, no, no, no,
the parking spot out front.
102
00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:04,989
- Oh, so you finally got it?
-Yeah.
103
00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:06,921
What's it been, ten years?
104
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:08,549
More like 11.
105
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:12,129
That bastard Grapelli keeps
parking his bakery truck there
106
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,560
every morning at 4:00 a.m.
107
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,394
Leaves it there all day
for spite.
108
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:17,729
But not today. Today it's mine.
109
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:20,270
No offense, but you're
getting way too excited
110
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:21,963
over a parking spot.
111
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,438
Get a girlfriend.
112
00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:24,871
Trust me,
113
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:28,411
he's never wanted a woman
as much as he wanted that spot.
114
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:30,640
All in all, it's been
a pretty good morning.
115
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:31,977
What else happened?
116
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,778
You find a quarter
at a pay phone?
117
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:36,285
No, I said "good," not great.
118
00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:39,618
Actually, I met, uh,
Chris's ex-doofus...
119
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:41,248
I mean, husband.
120
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:43,019
Boy, I'll tell you,
wait till you see him.
121
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:44,026
I just don't get it.
122
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:45,027
Anyway, pay attention here.
123
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,290
It's up to the two of you
124
00:04:46,419 --> 00:04:48,421
to keep that meter fed
all day long, all right?
125
00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:51,126
Oh, God, I can't wait
for Grapelli to come out
126
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:52,635
and see my car in his spot.
127
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:53,760
It's gonna kill him.
128
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:57,671
Seriously, get a girlfriend.
129
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,272
No, it's okay, Vanessa.
130
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:06,611
You-you don't have
to take me out to dinner.
131
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:09,220
Yeah, I don't much feel
like going out...
132
00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:11,117
or eating...
133
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:12,723
or living.
134
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,127
I don't get it.
135
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:19,889
That's like the fifth time
that woman's called.
136
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,158
She's totally hitting on you.
137
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:23,632
Yeah, I guess. I-l don't care.
138
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,703
How can a woman
find that attractive?
139
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,534
I mean, you're like
an abandoned puppy.
140
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:29,834
You just sit there and whimper.
141
00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,640
Wait a minute.
142
00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:36,441
Bob's formulating a theory.
143
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,481
I've been going
about this all wrong.
144
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:40,346
My whole life, I've been
covering up my faults,
145
00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:41,543
-trying to be cool.
-It didn't work.
146
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,949
Did I say that it worked?
147
00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:45,020
That's my point.
148
00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:46,419
Women say they want cool,
149
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:48,321
but what they really want
is some pathetic slob
150
00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:49,483
to cradle in their bosom.
151
00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:51,289
- And that's you?
-Are you kidding me?
152
00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:52,590
I reek pathetic.
153
00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:54,062
I sweat failure.
154
00:05:55,422 --> 00:05:57,026
Becker, I just had a great idea.
155
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:59,933
Huh. First one's
always exciting, isn't it?
156
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:02,665
Chris around?
157
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,605
No. She and Roger
haven't come back yet.
158
00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:05,607
Since this morning?
159
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:06,733
- Mm-hmm.
-Oh, that's right.
160
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,175
He's-he's going away on a trip.
161
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:11,111
Yeah, she probably had to sew
name tags in his underwear.
162
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:13,983
Sounds like it bothers you.
163
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,586
- It doesn't bother me.
-Oh.
164
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,417
Hey, Jake, sorry I'm late.
165
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,923
We stopped for coffee,
and once we started talking,
166
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,424
I completely lost track of time.
167
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:25,052
Go figure,
she finds me fascinating.
168
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:27,529
So what are you going to be
doing in Australia, Roger?
169
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:29,531
A friend of mine and I, uh,
we built this boat.
170
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:30,999
We're just going
to sail around a little.
171
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:32,694
Oh, you built it yourself?
What is it,
172
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:35,238
a rowboat, a raft,
Tom Sawyer kind of thing?
173
00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:38,400
Uh, no, it's more like a 50-foot
catamaran kind of thing.
174
00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:40,533
- Wow. That sounds impressive.
-Mmm.
175
00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:41,805
Yeah, Roger doesn't like
to brag,
176
00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:43,573
but he raced
in the '95 America's Cup.
177
00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:44,875
Oh.
178
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,143
Well, you know,
once, in college,
179
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:48,446
we took a road trip to Vermont.
180
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,658
Oh, oh, that-that was the end
of that story?
181
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:57,828
No, no, no. We drove all night.
182
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,362
We saw the sun come up.
183
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:04,233
Well, there's something
you don't see every day.
184
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,359
Oh, wait, yes, yes, you do.
Um...
185
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:07,665
anyway, uh, listen,
I've got, uh...
186
00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:09,967
I got a lot of things to do
before I leave, so...
187
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,575
Oh, wait, Roger, uh,
here's my key.
188
00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:12,733
- It's apartment 4B.
-Oh.
189
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:15,039
Right. See you later.
190
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,375
- Road trip. Cool.
-Mm.
191
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:23,753
So, Roger's staying
with you, is he?
192
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:24,912
Yeah, it's just one night.
193
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,752
- Why waste money on a hotel?
-Yeah, exactly.
194
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,757
You probably have a lot
to catch up on.
195
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:30,384
You know, it's a good idea.
196
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:33,930
- I'm glad you think so.
-Well, I do, I do.
197
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,727
- Liar.
-Shut up.
198
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,463
Uh, hey, why is John
199
00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:43,903
sitting on his car,
giving the finger
200
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,407
to that guy in the bakery?
201
00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:47,307
Be glad you weren't here
ten minutes ago.
202
00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:49,937
He mooned him.
It wasn't pretty.
203
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,947
Well, anyway, here's your lunch.
204
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:54,313
So, John said your ex-husband
is in town.
205
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:55,579
Yeah, just till tomorrow.
206
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,690
Ooh, sex with an ex is amazing.
207
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,621
Once you don't care
about each other,
208
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:02,590
it really frees you up.
209
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,252
Well, he is spending the night,
210
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:07,092
but sleeping together--
probably not the best idea.
211
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,858
Oh, so that's why you split up.
212
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,161
'Cause the sex is bad.
213
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,598
Oh, no... Linda,
214
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,705
people break up
for all kinds of reasons.
215
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,000
Like they, uh...
they fight constantly.
216
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,267
'Cause the sex is bad.
217
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:20,310
No. Sometimes
they just grow apart.
218
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:22,504
'Cause the sex is bad.
219
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:23,978
Actually, that wasn't
the case with us.
220
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:27,984
In fact, with Roger,
it was quite the opposite.
221
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,553
Oh, really? Mmm...
222
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,587
We just had this chemistry.
223
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:34,692
He was sensitive, spontaneous.
224
00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:37,090
It was mind-blowing.
225
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:39,254
I know that feeling.
226
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:41,366
Really?
227
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:45,663
Fine. I remember that feeling.
228
00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:46,793
There was... there was just
229
00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:48,564
something incredible
about Roger.
230
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,504
You know,
I remember this one time...
231
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:51,734
Hey, Grapelli!
232
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,674
You're gonna die waiting
for that parking spot!
233
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,905
And then I'm gonna take a cab
to your funeral
234
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:59,074
so I still don't have
to move my car!
235
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,276
Ha! God, this is fun.
236
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,649
That was a little harsh,
don't you think?
237
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:06,883
Oh, I was just kidding.
No way I'd go to his funeral.
238
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:08,219
So, where's the ex?
239
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,850
Just hanging out at my place.
240
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:12,486
Oh, yeah? Without a babysitter?
241
00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:15,327
Ah. Ah, yes, because he's
younger than you.
242
00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:16,934
But then again, who isn't?
243
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,560
Um... see you later.
244
00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:21,501
Have a good night.
245
00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:23,665
- Oh, stop it!
246
00:09:25,532 --> 00:09:27,569
What-what was that all about?
247
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:30,271
It's about sex with Chris
and her ex-husband.
248
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,405
It was amazing.
Actually, he was amazing.
249
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:34,576
Hey, you know, I don't want
to hear about this.
250
00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:36,516
You know, just because
he's staying there
251
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,054
doesn't mean something's
going to happen.
252
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:40,522
I don't know.
She said he's "incredible."
253
00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:43,093
I think she said "mind-blowing."
254
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:46,220
Now, exactly when did sex go
from an expression of intimacy
255
00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:48,628
between two people
to an Olympic sport?
256
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,099
I mean, suddenly, it's not
good enough you love someone?
257
00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:53,261
Now you have to have skills?
258
00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:56,272
What...?
You know, what's... what's next?
259
00:09:56,396 --> 00:10:00,105
A spiraling body twist
with a quadruple dismount?
260
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:03,077
Make sure you stretch
before you try that.
261
00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:11,280
Oh, you remember
those massages we got
262
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:12,822
at that resort in Costa Rica?
263
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:13,947
How could I forget?
264
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,082
- The one with the
all-nude beach? -Yeah.
265
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:17,388
I still can't get the image
266
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:19,724
-of that volleyball game
out of my mind. -Oh!
267
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,855
I thought that woman
was going to knock herself out.
268
00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:23,831
- Yeah.
269
00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:28,937
Hey!
270
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:30,234
John?
271
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:33,640
Oh, right. Road Trip.
Uh, wh-what are you doing here?
272
00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:34,767
I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.
273
00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:36,778
- Well, yeah, actually...
-Good, good, good, good.
274
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:39,076
You know, I was going to have
this, uh, movie night.
275
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:41,048
You know, I got, uh...
got some videos,
276
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,415
some beer, some Mexican food.
277
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,113
But then my-my VCR went out.
278
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,417
And then I thought
about you guys
279
00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:48,150
up here all by yourself
alone, and I thought:
280
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:49,453
Well, hell, don't be selfish.
281
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,323
Come on up here
and let's have a party.
282
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:54,455
Anyway, I got, uh...
I got some nachos,
283
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,191
I got some guacamole,
284
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,029
I got bean and cheese
burritos...
285
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,035
I mean, sure makes
your breath stink,
286
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,140
but then who's kissing who
around here, right?
287
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:05,334
- Ho! Ah, okay.
-Oh...
288
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:08,378
Well, this sure is cozy.
289
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:23,285
Oh, don't you just
love this movie?
290
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:25,089
I remember...
291
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,095
I remember once in college,
292
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,291
we had this
Dirty Dozen marathon.
293
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:32,335
We actually watched it
a dozen times in a row.
294
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:34,995
Wow, you guys were renegades.
295
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:36,072
Yeah.
296
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,267
Yeah, we were pretty out there.
297
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,105
Okay, what do we got next here?
298
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,576
All right, we got Platoon,
Deer Hunter...
299
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:42,577
Wait, wait, no, no.
300
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:43,874
No, in that whole stack
of videos,
301
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,641
you don't have
one romance movie?
302
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:47,945
You know, it just didn't seem
like that kind of night to me.
303
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:49,849
No, I... I am not sitting
through another war.
304
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:52,786
- I'm going to bed. I...
-All... all right.
305
00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:54,550
- Good night.
-Good night.
306
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:01,765
Boy, she's no fun, is she?
307
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,731
You want a beer?
308
00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:05,733
- Let me ask you a question.
-Yeah?
309
00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:09,169
Are, uh...
are-are you and Chris going out?
310
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:10,569
What?
311
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:13,439
Well, you coming over here,
the food, the-the movies,
312
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,910
the sitting between us
on the couch.
313
00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:17,981
I got the feeling you were
trying to keep us apart.
314
00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:19,947
Oh, no, no, no, no,
I just like to have fun.
315
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:22,644
I'm a... I'm a...
a people person.
316
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:26,154
Yeah. Yeah, that's, uh...
that's how you struck me.
317
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,520
So... so, if you're
not seeing her,
318
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:29,683
is she dating anybody else?
319
00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:30,920
I really don't know.
320
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:33,496
I try to stay out of
other people's business.
321
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:36,601
Well, if you're not dating her
and neither is anybody else,
322
00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:38,168
maybe I've got a chance.
323
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:40,567
What? No, what are...
what are you talking about?
324
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:41,728
No, you had your chance.
325
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:44,273
You're divorced.
Those are the rules.
326
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:46,240
Look, all I know is,
I'm getting a feeling from her
327
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,039
that there's still something
going on between us.
328
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:49,874
I mean, she seemed
really happy to see me.
329
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:52,916
Well, that's probably
the-the medication.
330
00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:54,677
- The medication?
-Oh, yeah.
331
00:12:54,807 --> 00:12:56,218
The therapy alone's
not doing it.
332
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:57,650
- Wait, she's-she's in therapy?
-Well, not that...
333
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:58,847
You know,
three, four times a week.
334
00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:00,321
Look, you know,
I don't know what went on
335
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,016
between the two of you, but...
336
00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:05,391
apparently some damage
was done, my friend.
337
00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:09,660
Well, you know
what I think, my friend?
338
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:10,927
I think you're full of it.
339
00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:13,196
I think you did come up here
to keep us apart
340
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:15,567
because you like her
and suddenly I'm a threat.
341
00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:17,538
Wham? See, I don't...
where are you getting that?
342
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:19,803
- Come on, have a beer. Chill.
-You know what?
343
00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:21,775
I got...
I got a long flight ahead of me.
344
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:23,244
Wh-Why don't we call it a night?
345
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:25,371
No, no, you see, that's all
the more reason to stay up.
346
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:26,916
- You can sleep on the plane.
Come on, look.
347
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,383
--I got Apocalypse Now,
348
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,044
Platoon, Deer Hunter...
349
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:31,814
--Is that your cell phone?
350
00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:33,946
Oh, it's nothing, you know,
probably just business.
351
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,957
Aren't you a doctor?
352
00:13:37,116 --> 00:13:39,562
Fine, fine, I'll get it.
353
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:44,193
What?
354
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:47,669
Yes, this is Dr. Becker.
355
00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:49,705
Well, how do you know
you have an ulcer?
356
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,309
Are you a doctor?
357
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,605
Oh. Well, see, you were wrong.
358
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,805
That'd be a bleeding ulcer.
359
00:13:56,936 --> 00:13:59,712
All right, I'll meet you in the
emergency room, you big baby.
360
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:02,849
Gotta run, huh? That's too bad.
361
00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:04,716
Well, you know, what if I come
back afterwards...
362
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,846
That's okay. I'm sure
I'll be in bed by then.
363
00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:08,014
What?
364
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:15,625
- Hey, Jake.
-Hey, buddy.
365
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:16,665
You have a good night?
366
00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:17,767
Is that your way
of saying you did
367
00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:18,800
and you want to brag about it?
368
00:14:18,925 --> 00:14:19,995
Sure is.
369
00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:21,366
Remember that girl Vanessa
that kept calling?
370
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,633
Well, she stopped by the house
with a bottle of wine.
371
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:25,606
Said she wanted
to get my mind off Amanda,
372
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:29,509
and I'll be damned
if she didn't do just that.
373
00:14:29,635 --> 00:14:31,171
So I was right--
women are attracted
374
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:32,408
to lonely, pathetic guys.
375
00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:35,251
In fact,
376
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,410
a cute blonde just walked in.
377
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,680
I'm going to test
this theory out.
378
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:39,084
Just hope I can pull it off.
379
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,351
What, pathetic and lonely?
You can do that in your sleep.
380
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,119
Thanks, buddy.
381
00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:45,785
Excuse me.
382
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,465
Couldn't help noticing
you were sitting alone.
383
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:50,693
Mind if I join you?
384
00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:52,427
Please do.
385
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:57,364
I'm Bob.
386
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:58,976
Susan.
387
00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:00,975
So, what do you do, Bob?
388
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:05,344
At the moment,
I'm sort of... recovering.
389
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:06,916
From alcohol?
390
00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:08,882
Broken heart.
391
00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:11,682
- Oh.
-And alcohol.
392
00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:13,722
That is so sad.
393
00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:15,553
I know how you feel.
394
00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:17,888
You're lonely
and desperate, right?
395
00:15:18,017 --> 00:15:19,189
You picked up on that?
396
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:22,458
I knew you were desperate
the second you sat down.
397
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,568
- Nah, you're just saying that.
-No.
398
00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:25,998
I mean it.
399
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:28,935
You're one of the most
pathetic guys I've ever met.
400
00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:32,133
Gee, thanks, Susan.
401
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:33,767
Boy, you really get me.
402
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:37,712
Listen, Bob, I wish
I could stay and talk
403
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:42,013
and really get to know you,
but I have to be somewhere.
404
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:44,121
If I gave you my number,
would you call me?
405
00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:46,621
At least 17 times a day.
406
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:47,724
Good.
407
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:48,723
Bye.
408
00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:49,952
See you.
409
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,153
Did you hear that, Jake?
410
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,356
It worked like a charm.
411
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:55,932
- She's totally into me.
-Yeah, sounded that way.
412
00:15:56,055 --> 00:15:57,295
- She gave you her number, right?
-Yep.
413
00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:58,902
- Right here on her
business card. -Oh, cool.
414
00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:00,095
- Where does she work?
-At the...
415
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:02,729
Suicide Hotline.
416
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:07,438
I'm-I'm sorry, Bob.
417
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:08,910
Sorry? Don't be sorry.
418
00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,378
She's cute,
she gave me her number,
419
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,505
and those people aren't allowed
to hang up on you.
420
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:13,878
She could be the one.
421
00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:18,021
Hey, Becker, I just got
a woman's number.
422
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,055
Call her quick
before she changes it.
423
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,318
Hey, Chris. Chris!
424
00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:25,053
Can I get some coffee
out here, please?
425
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,527
Oh. Fun's over.
426
00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:32,498
Hey, Road Trip, how's it going?
427
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,627
Uh, listen, Chris, you know,
I would love to stay,
428
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,467
but I have got to get a cab
to the airport.
429
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,337
Oh, gee, I'd like to drive you,
but, uh...
430
00:16:38,464 --> 00:16:41,206
I got this really great
parking spot.
431
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:43,407
Oh, I always think there's
432
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,072
going to be more
to your stories.
433
00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:48,117
- Roger, have a great time
in Australia. -Oh.
434
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:50,653
Oh, so good to see you.
I'm going to miss you.
435
00:16:50,776 --> 00:16:53,450
Well, you wouldn't have to
if you came with me.
436
00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:55,422
- Wh at?
-Wh at?
437
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:56,959
Come on, come on, this place?
438
00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:58,027
This isn't for you.
439
00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:00,027
- You can't be happy here.
-HaPPV?
440
00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:02,189
Of course she's happy.
She loves it here.
441
00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:06,292
Just the other day, she said,
"John, I love it here."
442
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:13,743
- John...
-l-l... Fine, fine, I'll go.
443
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,038
Just so you know,
444
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:17,773
Australia has the deadliest
spiders in the world.
445
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:20,077
Information, you know,
file it away.
446
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:23,318
Listen, Chris,
447
00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:27,049
I've given this
a lot of thought, and...
448
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:33,123
I mean it, come with me.
449
00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:35,994
You know, even if I wanted to,
I can't just leave.
450
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:37,157
I'm settled here.
451
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:38,735
So take a vacation.
Come for two weeks.
452
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:42,271
Roger, please, I-l can't.
453
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,705
No, I-l... really, I can't.
454
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:45,968
Okay, you need time to think.
455
00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,304
Take a ride with me
to the airport.
456
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:48,571
We'll talk about it
on the way, okay?
457
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:49,805
No, no, no, I can't. I...
458
00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:53,244
Okay. Okay,
but just to the airport.
459
00:17:53,372 --> 00:17:54,646
That's as far as I go.
460
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:57,618
That's cute. You said the same
thing on our first date.
461
00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:04,987
Margaret,
Dr. Becker's car is gone.
462
00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:06,391
They must have towed it.
463
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,055
Why didn't you put money
in the meter?
464
00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:09,996
It was already gone
when I got here.
465
00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:12,762
Besides, it was your turn
to feed the meter.
466
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:14,496
I know, I was all ready.
467
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:17,608
I left my clothes out,
I put the coffee pot on a timer.
468
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,368
I even set three alarm clocks.
469
00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:20,738
So what happened?
470
00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:22,846
- I didn't sleep at home.
-Oh.
471
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:26,450
You have to tell him you forgot.
472
00:18:26,572 --> 00:18:28,518
Why would I do that?
473
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:31,588
Because he's going to kill me
when he finds out.
474
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:33,520
Please, Margaret?
Please, please, please?
475
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:36,058
Oh, all right.
I'll tell him I forgot.
476
00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:38,219
He's not going to fire me.
I know too much.
477
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:41,093
Oh! Thank you, Margaret.
478
00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:42,324
I'll never forget this.
479
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,128
You saved my life.
480
00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:47,032
It was her fault.
She got your car towed.
481
00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:48,900
She forgot to put money
in the meter.
482
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:51,838
- Linda...
-You're a saint, Margaret.
483
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,137
She the irresponsible one,
not me.
484
00:18:54,266 --> 00:18:55,939
Doesn't matter.
485
00:18:57,236 --> 00:18:59,648
That's it? That's all she gets?
486
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,080
You're not going to yell at her?
487
00:19:01,207 --> 00:19:03,687
So they towed it.
You know, who cares?
488
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:06,255
Maybe it doesn't even belong
in the Bronx.
489
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,325
Maybe it'd be better off
in Australia.
490
00:19:08,447 --> 00:19:09,585
Probably be happier.
491
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:11,820
You know, I don't care!
492
00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:13,692
That's strange.
493
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:16,561
Yeah, he didn't care.
494
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,726
You know what, I'll take
the blame for this one.
495
00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:20,201
You get the next one, okay?
496
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:34,412
- Hey. -What the hell
is the matter with you?!
497
00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:36,451
This morning at the diner,
you wouldn't leave us alone,
498
00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:38,213
and then last night,
that whole routine
499
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,483
with the food and the videos.
What was that all about?
500
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,854
All right, you're not going
to tell me? I'll tell you.
501
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,689
You were up there
because you're jealous.
502
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:46,922
- Of what?
-Roger. Just admit it.
503
00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:48,327
You were afraid
if you left us alone,
504
00:19:48,454 --> 00:19:50,559
we'd knock one off
for old times' sake.
505
00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:52,591
So did you?
506
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:53,965
None of your business.
507
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:55,367
Fine, you know what,
I don't care!
508
00:19:55,494 --> 00:19:56,905
The only reason
why I went up there
509
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,508
was to save you from yourself.
510
00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:01,669
Oh. Oh, oh, this ought
to be good. No, go, go, go.
511
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,781
Oh, please, from the moment
the guy walked in,
512
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:05,041
you were all over him.
513
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:07,208
"Ooh, my ex-husband's here.
How do I look?"
514
00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:09,046
"Stay in my apartment."
515
00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:10,677
Oh, come...
It's painfully obvious,
516
00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:13,017
you don't understand
the rules of divorce.
517
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:14,522
There are rules?
518
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,354
Please, enlighten me.
519
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:18,860
It's a classic rookie mistake
to... to look at your ex
520
00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:20,292
and only remember the good.
521
00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:22,763
You can't skip over
resentment and hate.
522
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:26,131
Those are the cornerstones
of a successful divorce!
523
00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:28,795
So if you were with
one of your ex-wives,
524
00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:31,067
you wouldn't mind
if I barged in on you?
525
00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:33,040
They would never come here.
They know the rules.
526
00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:35,475
They hate me, as they should.
527
00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:37,308
Well, Roger and I
happen to care
528
00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:39,006
-about each other very much.
-Oh, yeah, right.
529
00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:41,015
You know, you care
about each other so much,
530
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:43,142
how come you're not
on your way to Australia?
531
00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:45,550
I have my reasons.
532
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:46,918
Name one.
533
00:20:48,013 --> 00:20:50,619
Fine. Fine.
534
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,230
I didn't go for the same reason
we got divorced--
535
00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:57,027
because I am ready
to settle down and he's not.
536
00:20:57,156 --> 00:20:58,226
Ah, oh, right, yeah,
537
00:20:58,357 --> 00:21:00,268
and it has absolutely nothing
to do with me.
538
00:21:00,392 --> 00:21:02,065
- Right? Uh-huh.
-Oh, my God!
539
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:03,400
Yeah, you're not going
to Australia
540
00:21:03,529 --> 00:21:04,872
'cause you still
have feelings for me.
541
00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:06,601
- You are crazy! I...
-You're just afraid to admit it.
542
00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:08,040
- Come on, you big chicken.
-I... I have...
543
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:09,669
- Admit it! Admit it!
-I... I... I just...
544
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,839
--Wait... Oh!
545
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:14,246
Do you really think
546
00:21:14,373 --> 00:21:16,910
I'd make a life-changing
decision based on you?!
547
00:21:17,042 --> 00:21:18,578
I can't even believe
there's enough room in here
548
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:21,624
me, you and your ego!
549
00:21:21,747 --> 00:21:22,885
Good night!
550
00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:25,825
- W-W-Wait, wait...
-Don't you... Good night!
551
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,325
Stay here for him!
552
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:35,865
Oh, my God, what was I thinking?
40580
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