All language subtitles for Elsbeth 03x01 Yes And [2025-10-12 21-30] uswcbs DivX

And this is where the magic really
happens.

If you look to your right, you will see
the office of the man himself, our host,

Scotty Bristol.

He's probably in there right now, going
over material, preparing for tonight's

show, which tapes in a few hours.

What do you say we say a quick hello?

Actually, I think I'll keep my job
instead.

And right next door is the writer's
room.

Where Scotty's hilarious monologues and
comedy bits are born.

The writers are waiting to hear if the
material made the final cut.

He hated it.

Monologue or the mayor bit?

All of it. Every line.

We said late last night. That was good
stuff. Are you sure you pissed it right?

Yes, Ronan, I know how to pitch. I come
from a comedy background.

Improv. Look, he just didn't like it. It
happened.

Okay, but what kind of mood was he in?
Because you also have to pick the right

moment. Because it's our job as women to
always ascertain a man's emotional

state before speaking.

Look, go ahead and blame me. I'm used to
it. But the material isn't going in the

show. And we know where it is going.

Oh, yeah, the dulcet tones of Mickey,
too.

Okay, so...

Our stuff went in the shredder.

What'll he do instead?

He's going to the packets.

Oh! Oh,

no! Come on!

Whose side are you on?

Hi,

Cheryl.

I'm Laurel, head writer, executive
producer of Way Late.

Are you nervous? Oh, God, is it that
obvious?

It's just network television.

I'm old enough. That still means
something.

Well, our audience feels the same. Here
are some questions that Scotty may or

may not ask. Do you think that he'll be
nice to me? I mean, I know sometimes he

can be a little bit acerbic. That's a
lie.

I'm always nice. Oh, my God, you're so
much taller in person.

Well, that depends on the size of your
screen.

Hi, Cheryl.

Nice to meet you. Hey, listen, it's
going to be a lot of fun. Just relax and

yourself. I actually brought a friend
for support. How's Beth?

Elsbeth was my journey partner at one of
the wellness centers I wrote about. Hi,

Elsbeth. I hope I'm saying that right,
because I won't be saying it again.

Oh, my gosh. It's you.

I can't believe it. Oh, I'm such a fan.

You're so tall.

Yeah, we established that while you were
unconscious.

Oh, right. Sorry.

I came straight here from the airport. I
was in Scotland visiting Angus, my

boyfriend. Actually, I'm not sure I
should call him that, but...

Anyway, I am jet -lagged, which is why I
seem a little loopy. Although some

people think I always seem a little
loopy. You know what's fascinating about

that story?

I didn't ask.

See you out there.

Okay.

Okay. You got this.

Is there coffee?

Yeah. Get her a decaf.

We are talking to Cheryl Jacobs, the
author of Unwell On My Way.

So, Cheryl, it says in here that you
went from wellness center to wellness

center for four full years.

Four years and three months.

You must have had a lot of junk mail
when you came home.

Yeah,

I mentioned that in the book.

Didn't you read it?

Well, I have to read a lot for this job,
Cheryl.

Oh, right.

Is that hard for you?

Mickey, Cheryl's being mean to me.

Hey, did you meet Mickey Munce? Oh, no,
but I know him from the show.

Good to meet you, Cheryl. I loved your
book, and I read every word of it. Oh.

Hey, listen, let me ask you something.
What wellness treatment do you think

would be good for Mickey over there? I
mean, obviously, he needs all of them,

but what would you start with first, the
weight or the air of desperation?

Well, I think focusing on the spiritual
being is always first, and then the...

Physical. That's good to know, because
we don't want to focus on Mickey's

physical being.

Yes, and my spirit is definitely broken.

Anyway, this has been great. Cheryl,
would you please come back? Is that it?

That's it. It is way late. Go to sleep,
everybody.

Well?

He said no.

Tell him what the doctor said?

I did.

Word for word?

Honey. Mickey, your heart is in bad
shape. If you don't get a break from the

stress, taking his abuse every night,
who knows what could happen?

Look, you push me to get a mammogram
once a year, and I do. And I love you

taking care of me. Now, I'm asking you
to take care of yourself.

He said it was impossible. The ratings
are down, and he's got Ronan waiting in

the wings to take his place.

This is the job I signed up for.

God, he's killing you. How dare he?

I'll be fine.

Look, we owe Scotty so much. We'd be
nothing without him. Oh, I don't believe

that. No, you're right.

I'd be nothing without him. I mean, you
could be anything.

Oh, Mickey, you're such a good person.

Yeah, but I wanted to be in show
business.

Get changed and go home.

I'm going to watch the edit. Not that
they know I'm there.

would you start with first, the wait or
the air of desperation?

Find me that close -up.

I figured he would send you. He told you
what the doctor said?

Doctors. Are we still doing doctors?

Scotty. This show is literally killing
him.

Well, we'll miss it when it's gone.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

This show is what the three of us
dreamed about, and we have to live with

choices that we made. Right, and you
chose Mickey.

I did.

Any regrets?

Only when I watch the show.

Cute. What about kids?

No, no, no, you were right about that.
You know, we would have never gotten

far if we had to split our focus.

Drink?

Uh, yeah.

I was thinking about that night the
scout came from the network to see our

for the first time. And someone from the
audience called out Renaissance Faire

as a suggestion.

So we're walking down memory lane now.
And you had that Renaissance Faire bit

from the week before that killed.

It was ready to go, making you look like
a star.

Now, the guy who called it out was a
plant, right?

Laurel, good luck comes from
preparation.

Yeah. You know, it's funny. I think I
chose Mickey over you that night.

Your ambitions scared the hell out of
me.

Gosh, what was I so afraid of?

doing? Just making it look better, you
know, sexier.

Are we?

Are we really going to do this?

Doing what? Just having a drink with an
old friend.

Don't you miss the way it felt before
all of this?

Well, of course.

I mean, some nights I look over at you
and I'm right back there.

The three of us on stage making it up as
we go along, you know?

Yeah. So in tune with each other.

So young.

You haven't changed.

Only me.

What's... Okay, yeah, all right. No, I'm
into it.

All right, yeah.

I've been nothing but loyal to you, and
Laurel has, too.

And I deserve this.

My health is more important than some
show.

Look, Laurel, I just...

I want you to know I've always respected
and admired how loyal you are to

Mickey. But I guess even you have your
limits.

Yes, I do.

I can't do this anymore.

Scotty!

Scotty!

Was that a scream?

Mom, I thought you weren't supposed to
be home for another few days.

Did things with Angus not go so well?
No.

Cheryl asked me to go to the show with
her and then to dinner, and I want to be

supportive of my friends, especially now
that Kai is off.

working undercover.

Are we sure that's the reason?

There she is!

Oh, we're gone, though. I miss you so
much.

Were you a good girl? Easy peasy.

Oh, Teddy, Teddy, I have gifts. Okay,
Mom, let me. You're exhausted.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Yeah, the one on the top. Yeah, that's
for Gonzo.

There you go. Go get it, girl.

And that's for you and Ron.

You got a tartan kilt. Yeah, you both
have such nice calves.

Oh, thanks.

That's fun.

Although... I think it's probably a
little too soon for me to wear these at

new job.

Yeah, probably.

Wait, what?

Teddy! You got a job?

Shocking, I know.

Well, Roy and I were at this bar, and we
met this reporter, and I started going

on about how the truth has been devalued
and the world needs more fact

-checkers. Oh, that's so true. And
before I knew it, you know, I was hired

the New York View. Did you know one of
their journalists got murdered with a

cattle prod? Mm -hmm. That's how we got
Gonzo. What?

Long story. Anyway, I really do think
that investigative journalism could be

path for me. Did you know that Chris
Hayes was a philosophy major just like I

was? I think I did. And the best part is
that print media is a dying business,

and so the bar to entry is really low.

That's so wonderful, honey. I'm so...
Okay, Mom, you need to sleep.

No, I want to stay up. I have to watch
way late.

I have to see if I see myself in the
audience.

Mom, I think the show may be preempted.
Oh, no. What happened? Is it Greenland?

Hello?

Elizabeth! Oh, good. You made it home.

And you're still awake.

Oh, Captain Wagner.

Here I am. Across several time zones.

Reporting for duty. I'm glad you came
back early. I need you here.

Talk about a high -profile case.

I see Detective Smellin. Is there an
officer assigned to keep me in line?

Yes, you'll be working with Officer
Grace Hackett, who's particularly well

suited for this. Oh, why is that?

Well, I happen to know she's a stand -up
comic in her spare time.

Oh, that ought to be helpful and good
for laughs.

Where is she? Oh, I see.

Hi, Officer Hackett.

Hi. Oh, gosh.

I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were
having a moment there.

I'm... I know who you are. I'm sorry.

I always dreamed of being here in this
office, and this is just not the way I

wanted to get here, you know?

Oh,

I'm sorry. I'm an empath.

It's okay.

It's my concern.

According to Mickey Munz, our sidekick
who found the body, Scotty Bristol was

famous for feeding material that he
didn't like into this industrial monster

over here just to piss off the riders.

God, this business.

We're bagging what's in the bin for
evidence, but it's looking like a pretty

unfortunate necktie shredding accident.

Were these his earbuds?

So we assume.

Do we know what he was listening to?

Merrily, we roll along.

Original cast recording.

Your guess is as good as mine. Oh, I
think my guess is probably better.

Sondheim's score is a masterpiece, and
the story's told backwards, which always

made perfect sense to me.

Yeah, me too.

So, he was strangled by his tie?

Well, that means his back was to the
shredder. Why would that be?

Maybe he turned to get away.

But his tie would have had to be on
tight.

Otherwise, he'd be able to pull it off
in time. But Scotty always loosened his

tie at the end of every show. It's way
late.

Go to sleep.

Yeah, that was his signature move.

Are there any prints?

None that we found so far.

Ooh, there's a jam override button.

That means the shredder shuts off.

When it gets jammed with too much paper
or the body of a talk show host.

So that means somebody had to push that
button to keep it going. And look,

there's a reverse button.

So, why didn't Scotty just push that?

Reverse button?

Scotty never changed his mind.

Laurel. Right?

We met in the green room. I was here
with my friend Cheryl.

Oh, jet lag.

Still got it.

Well, I'd really like to take my husband
home now. He has a heart condition.

Oh, of course.

Just, can I ask one question?

Do you have any idea what Scotty might
have been shredding? Some material he

didn't like?

That's odd.

Because Mickey said that Scotty used the
shredder to torture the writers, but

the writers were gone for the day,
weren't they? So the arms would be lost

them.

I guess we'll never know what he was
thinking. He was here alone.

Or maybe not.

Because Scotty took out his earbuds, but
he didn't put them back in the case. As

if he was expecting to put them back in
his ear after some brief interruption,

like to talk to someone.

I really need to take him home.

Oh, sure. Let's go, sweetheart. Oh, and
also, these googly eyes sure are fun.

What's that about? I couldn't tell you.

Good night. Night.

Let's go.

It's true. No prints anywhere. Somebody
may have wiped them down. So this wasn't

an unfortunate necktie shredding
accident.

I'll admit, Miss Tassione makes some
good points. That'll save time.

Elsbeth, what's your theory?

I have this.

Okay, this is for you.

You didn't have to do that.

Oh, I wouldn't dream of coming back from
overseas empty -handed.

Okay, Lieutenant Connor, this had your
name on it.

Just right.

Thank you, Elizabeth.

You are so welcome.

Oh, Captain Wagner, I know how much you
love your whiskey.

Duty -free, which I thought was ironic
for you.

Bandido 18. Very nice. Thank you,
Elizabeth. You're welcome. And Bobby,

bread. Oh, Officer Hackett, obviously I
didn't know you yet, but I got

a bunch of these adorable erasers that
look like Harry Highland coos.

That better be a kind of cow.

There you go.

There's one for you. Oh, so how's the
jet lag?

You okay to work?

Oh, yes, I just need my first big cup of
coffee.

Hey, we pay for coffee now?

We have continued to look at ways to
follow new budget guidelines.

Which is his oh -so -polite way of
saying, we've got nothing for you

deal with it. Well, I'm sure it's not
Lieutenant Connor's fault.

Yeah, well, he's the numbers guy.

It's true.

I am.

Does anyone have a dollar?

Okay, I would put my thoughts down on
cards, but there seem to be no more

in the supply closet, which is fine
because I'm on the wait list for a

How are those numbers working out?
Clearly, this was not an accident.

We agree.

So, who had it in for him? Well, maybe
Mickey didn't just find the body. I

the guy was humiliated by Bristol every
night for years.

Wasn't that the bit? The experience can
still feel real.

I don't know. Mickey seemed pretty
broken up over Scotty's death.

Finished putting all the papers and the
shredder back together.

It's like that scene from Argo.

Yeah, that is the one thing I remember
from that movie. And it won Best

What did you find?

It was a packet.

Jokes submitted by an aspiring writer
looking for a job on the show.

Actually, submitted a few myself.

You know, I swear they used a joke of
mine once. They just changed Pelosi to

Beyonce. And they didn't give you any
money?

A credit?

Oh, I believe the contractual term is
buff gift. Well, it sounds like Scotty

Bristol must have pissed off a lot of
writers. Maybe one of them wanted

Not likely.

And why not?

Well, I mean, most comedy writers would
take Scotty Bristol stealing one of

their jokes as encouragement to keep
going.

We're a sad bunch.

Well, what about the writers on the
show?

How do they feel about Scotty stealing
jokes and feeding theirs to a giant

shredder? We need to talk to them.

And if you look to your right, you'll
see the office where our host, Scotty

Bristol, was found dead.

That must have been hard for you.

You know, it was.

I know he had a mixed reputation, but
Scotty was always so nice to me. He told

me all about his early days doing
improv.

It's amazing what people will tell a
page.

He reminisced whenever I went in to
empty Mickey, too.

Mickey, too?

Oh, that's everybody's nickname for this
writer. It's kind of mean.

Did you always empty Mickey, too? That's
what Scotty wanted. I'm the only non

-genitor with a key to Scotty's and
Laurel's offices. The two of them were

touchy about their shredders.

Maybe because Scotty liked to steal
material.

This business.

Well, what can you tell us about Scotty
and the shredder? Oh, Mickey 2. He liked

to fire it up to remind us who's boss.

That's a funny nickname for a shredder,
though. Well, we named it Mickey 2, like

Audrey 2 in Little Shop, because just
like the real Mickey, Scotty made it eat

crap all day.

Did Laurel know the nickname? Oh, yes,
but she would never laugh because she's

management. Or maybe because you were
all making fun of her husband.

Well, that's the sentimental version.

We found a writer's packet in Scotty's
shredder. Well, duh. Of course you did.

Well, him using that stuff must have
really burned you guys up, huh? You

have trusted the professionals.

Yeah. Did it make you want to get even?

Wait.

We thought this was an accident. Is this
a murder investigation?

It had to be Ronan.

It's so obvious he wanted Scotty's job.
Come on, he's the guy.

I stepped up with Scotty at the last
season wrap party, and ever since then,

became totally obsessive. Shut up. That
is just stupid. But I actually bet it

was you that killed him. You guys!

This is not a bit.

You mind telling us where you were last
night?

Yes. I did two sets at Mr.

Titter's Club in the Village.

Oh, right. Yes, we were all there. Both
sets, cheering him on. Really? All of

you? Both sets?

Why? Well, we were sucking up to Ronan
in case he gets Scotty's job, which now

he will because I missed my moment. So,
congratulations.

Very happy for you. Yeah.

They have video cameras at Mr. Titter's,
so you can see the audience.

I'm sure we got filmed during our good
-natured heckling. Well, we'll double

-check, because it does seem awfully
convenient.

I mean, you guys all clearly had a
problem working for Scotty Bristol, so

you all worked together to murder him
and cover it up. Detective, you've got

understand, we're writers.

We would never do anything to rock the
boat. It's true. This is a hostile work

environment, but we are all so grateful
to have a job.

Which one is that?

Benazepril. It's the ACE inhibitor.

They don't work if you forget to take
them.

Well, that's what I've got you for.

Mickey, why did you go back to Scotty's
office last night? I told you to go

home. I was going to give him an
ultimatum.

Either I get the time off so I can take
care of myself or I quit.

It wasn't fair to me or to you anymore.

I'd had it.

But then I never got the chance.

Oh, Mickey.

Oh, I wish I'd known that.

What is he doing?

Looks like he's psyching himself up for
something.

Yeah.

To murder someone.

Look, I almost quit all the time. I just
never went through with it. Yeah, but

this time he didn't just quit. You
murdered Scotty for making you a

laughingstock in front of millions.

You know nothing about comedy. Geez, I
get no respect.

Um, what about you?

Did you want Mickey to quit?

I wanted what was best for Mickey.

That's all.

This interview is over. Mickey, go home
and call Edward.

That's our lawyer. Clearly the police
want to waste their time focusing on

Scotty's best friend in the world. This
is unbelievable.

We'll be in touch.

In the meantime, we'll have another chat
with building security.

I'll catch up with you later.

Hey, Laurel.

Laurel, I just want you to know, I think
the police have this wrong.

I don't think Mickey could have done
this. You're smart.

The thing is, I would love it.

If you would help me figure this out, to
clear your husband's name, would you be

willing to do that?

How can I say no?

Great.

Excuse me, Laura.

Boy, you have a tough job.

How do you mean? Well, the writers think
of you as management. Well, they blame

everything on me. That's how Scotty
liked it. Oh, and Scotty doesn't sound

he was an easy boss.

And then to watch what the show was
doing to your husband every night?

Laurel, you juggle a lot.

Well, you juggle a lot, too, or you
wouldn't carry so many bags.

True.

Although I don't have to think about my
husband, X.

Although he did just narrowly escape
disbarment. Not sure how I feel about

I'm sorry, but I have an awful lot to
do.

Oh, of course.

What are you working on? We're preparing
a tribute show for Scotty. Oh, and who

knew him better than you did?

By the way...

Did Scotty also call the shredder
Mickey, too, or was that just the

You knew all about that, right?

And yet you acted like you didn't when I
asked you about the googly eyes at the

crime scene?

You talking about the night of the
accident?

You asked me, and I said I couldn't tell
you. I couldn't tell you because Mickey

was right there, and I didn't want to
hurt his feelings or make him look

God forbid.

So I couldn't tell you.

Wow, you're awfully quick on your feet.

Must be my improv training.

Oh, right.

Carl, cue it up to the beginning.

So cool.

Wow.

Oh, hey.

Is that you?

That's Scotty and Mickey and you, isn't
it?

Yeah, we were in a group called the
overalls.

Oh, that explains that outfit.

That is so fun.

You guys were a big hit, weren't you?

We didn't know what we were. We were
just having fun and making each other

laugh.

Three kids in Seattle just loving each
other and what we were doing.

That, of course, was before the jealousy
and the deals and show business.

Before you knew that Scotty would be a
star.

Oh, we always knew that.

Boy.

I would love to learn how to do that.

What?

Improv? No, it's not much of a thing
anymore.

But it's such an important skill.

And it would be so useful in my work. I
could probably use it to find Scotty's

real killer.

T -U -V.

Hey, you see how we're more connected
now?

Yes, I do.

I feel like I can almost read your mind.

Okay, let's try a more advanced game.
All right, let's do questions only.

Okay. Now, everything you say must be in
the form of a question. Mm -hmm. Oh,

like Jeopardy. Yeah.

Yeah, like Jeopardy. Okay, and remember
the first rule of improv, yes and.

You never deny what the other person
says because it kills the scene. You go

along with it and you add new
information so the scene builds. Oh,

So let's start with a place for the
scene.

Oh, a renaissance fair.

Well, what made you come up with that?
Did you know it was a bit we did in the

overalls? Yes, and I've done a bunch of
research on you.

Is that good?

Yeah, well, we haven't really started
yet. Oh. Okay, so let's start now. Okay,

okay, sorry, sorry. All right, so here
we go.

Is this your first time at the
Renaissance Fair?

Uh, does it look like my first time,
lassie?

Lassie? Okay, well, yes, that was a
question, but it didn't add in new

information, so what it did was it threw
the question back on me, so now I'm

doing all the work. Oh.

Yeah. Oh, I see.

Gosh, yeah, I...

I tend to do that with people.

Okay, let me try it again.

Okay. Yes.

Do you like my breeches?

Okay, good.

Yes, I love them. And would you like to
dance?

Oh, absolutely I would. Oh, we're
dancing.

And, but, will your husband mind?

Okay, but it's okay if it keeps adding
information, which you did.

And yes, he will.

Will you tell him?

Yes. But wouldst thou secretly murder me
first?

Did I do it wrong?

No, it's just a little confusing with
all the whoosh.

I really have to get back to the edit.

Oh, shoot.

Are you sure? Yes.

And?

Yes, and that was a very good start.

You're very quick on your feet, too.

But you need more practice.

Didn't we already see this?

Oh, he's wearing different clothes. I
wanted to test Mickey's story, so I did

some research.

There's a fan online who's compiled all
the most humiliating Mickey Muntz

moments on the show. Oh, there were so
many. The lint suit, the snake tank.

And then I got the security footage from
after those tapings.

Sure enough.

Half the time, Mickey was in the
elevator working himself up to almost

just like he said.

Which shows... He didn't do it. Oh, come
on. He didn't. He didn't do it. He

absolutely didn't. He didn't do it. Come
on now.

One at a time. Okay, Captain, the
security footage clearly shows a years

process of Mickey building up the
courage to murder Scott. Yes, and it

weak man who would never hurt the boss
he worshipped. Why yes and?

What? You just completely contradicted
me, but you started with yes and.

Oh, it's better for the scene.

We're in a scene?

Seeing Mickey go through all that was
painful to watch, but it must have been

even more painful for his wife, Laurel,
especially given Mickey's bad heart. But

everything you say also points to
Mickey, and he found the body.

Yes, and it points just as much to
Laurel. And why are you carrying a

wastebasket? To make a point. Hey,
Connor!

You see this?

Garbage? Yeah, the same garbage that's
been here for three days.

Yes, it has been necessary to scale back
trash collection. Oh, no, no, don't

hide behind the passive voice. I should
be able to eat a banana and not worry

about the peel sticking around long
enough to grow fuzz.

Are you going to do something about
this?

Nope.

What did Edward have to say?

He told me he's going to put me in touch
with the lawyer who handles this sort

of thing.

When? I don't know. Tomorrow, maybe.

Maybe? The police are not fooling
around. Why didn't you tell them that

wanted me to quit?

What are you saying? The police asked
you, and you lied.

I didn't lie. I told them I wanted what
was best for you, and that's true.

That's always been true.

Laurel, were you in the edit that whole
time?

Don't do this, Mickey.

You're just torturing yourself and me.

You lied.

You did want me to quit.

I wanted you to get time off. And now
you have it. And you can use it to get

better and to do great things.

But without Scotty?

I... Laurel, I... Mickey?

Mickey!

So he couldn't bear the guilt of killing
Scotty Bristol and his heart gave out.

Is that about it?

Yes, and that's exactly what he told me
just before he died.

Think before you write. Crossing
something out is a waste of ink.

Captain Wagner.

Hmm? Are you fully aware of what's going
on out there?

To what are you referring?

These budget cuts, they're so arbitrary
and absurd, and everyone's taking it out

on Lieutenant Connor.

Yes, and?

Well, I have seen recently what can
happen when a person's put in that

It's not fair, and it leads to bad
things.

Part of being a good boss is effectively
delegating responsibility.

Connor can handle it.

What about his feelings?

Connor has feelings.

Captain, you know what else is part of
being a good boss?

Taking the blame when necessary.

Come.

The report's in.

Mickey Munst died of a catastrophic
coronary. No sign of foul play.

Okay.

He's closed?

We have some of his personal effects to
return to the widow. His watch, wedding

ring. Oh, I can take them to her, if
that helps.

Thank you.

You are done.

Are you?

Cameron.

Have you heard anything from our friend?

I'm not supposed to say anything.

I can't believe it. Kyle wouldn't want
me to know she's okay. Oh, I said her

name. Are we not supposed to be saying
her name?

We both know her name.

So... So I...

have spoken to her, and she completed
training and has begun her first

undercover assignment, and she sounds
pretty damn happy about it.

Oh, that's good.

Yes. Tell her that there's a plushy Loch
Ness monster with her name on it. Okay.

I'll let her know. Okay.

And that concludes our tribute to the
great Scotty Bristol.

In the meantime, I just don't think I
should do the tie bit. It was Scotty's

thing. Are you going to fight me on
everything? Hi, Laurel.

Take a break. We'll argue about this
later.

Looking forward.

Your deal's enclosed yet?

Surprised to see you here.

We're reworking the tribute show,
cutting out any trace of Mickey.

Oh, right.

Because Mickey killed him.

You know you didn't have to tell the
police that Mickey confessed.

There's still spallable privilege.

You could have kept it secret.

I know, but I couldn't bear to see
someone else take the blame for Scotty's

murder. Oh, of course.

It makes total sense.

Thanks for bringing these.

You know, there's something else I was
wondering about.

What's that?

Well, Detective Smullen thinks that
Mickey's heart gave out because he

bear the secret guilt anymore.

But if he confessed to you, then that
burden was removed. So why did he have a

heart attack?

I mean, exactly when did Mickey confess?
Was it before the attack or during?

Because it certainly couldn't have been
after.

Mickey knew Scotty was in love with me.
He thought we were having an affair, and

I couldn't convince him that we weren't.
That's why.

I see.

Wow. You just added new information in
just the right spot.

So, um, did anything ever happen between
you and Scotty,

say, in his office?

No.

No?

Not yet.

And?

Now. Can I have your attention, please?

I know things are tough.

And we've had to make some...

Painful adjustments.

In case you haven't noticed, that is
happening all over.

And the work that we do is too important
to focus on petty

inconveniences.

We will get through this difficult time
together.

But in the meantime, if you have a
complaint,

you come to me.

This isn't my trash.

Very funny, Detective Mullen.

I know you did it for him.

I'm sorry?

I'm sure you are.

About part of it, anyway. I mean, you
didn't know that things would turn out

this way.

You and Mickey and Scotty, you had a
special bond.

Just like the characters in Marilyn We
Roll Along, Scotty's favorite musical,

underappreciated until the recent
revival.

Is there a point to this?

Yes.

Because... That bond also gave you power
over each other. And Scotty used

that power to control your lives. Like
when he told you not to have kids. Or

when he wouldn't give Mickey the break
his doctors ordered.

Well, how do you know all that?

It's amazing what people will tell a
page. And Scotty told me a lot. Your

was to make it look like an unfortunate
shredding accident.

I mean, after all, Scotty loved to
torture the writers with the noise.

But there was no one there to hear it.
And we pieced the shredded pages back

together. It was a packet that had no
jokes used on the show that night. So

was Scotty shredding? Well, I don't
know. I wasn't there.

Oh, see?

Now that's not good improv.

A better move.

was when you tried to pin the murder on
Mickey after he died.

Except the killer had to tighten
Scotty's tie and then

lure him over to the shredder without
any sign of a struggle.

Mickey couldn't have done that. But you
could, using your 30 years of history

and a little alcohol to manipulate
Scotty into

position.

Oh, this is ludicrous. Yeah, maybe.

But it was a pretty good plan.

Until after the murder, when you saw
that the shredder bin was empty, thanks

Matthew the Page.

I never forgot to empty Mickey, too. It
couldn't look like an accident if there

wasn't shredded paper in the bin and you
couldn't use Mickey, too, because

Scotty's body was in the way. So, you
wore Anne back to your office, shredded

the latest packet, and...

You brought that, you put it in Scotty's
bin.

Detective Smullen tried a similar trick
on me, which made me think of it. For

which I have apologized.

Well, you can't prove any of this. Oh,
actually, we can.

Because it turns out no two shredders
are the same.

The width between the blades on Mickey 2
was a quarter of an inch further apart

than the blades on the shredder.

In your office. And only you and Matthew
the Page had keys to have access to

both of the shredders. But Matthew was
with the writers watching Ronan Gaines

doing stand -up at Mr. Titter's.

I was sucking up.

It had to be you, Laurel.

You and Mickey and Scotty, you were old
friends.

Now two of you are dead.

I didn't kill Mickey.

Not directly.

No.

We had a good thing going.

Well,

this way, please.

You really do know everything that goes
on around here, don't you?

You could say that and be correct.

Could you do me a favor?

Get your way late with Scotty Bristol
office supplies.

They don't want them anymore.

Too depressing.

Thank you, Altma.

But I'm still going to use my bagpipe
stapler.

Thank you for bringing all that.

It should help calm things down here for
a while.

Of course.

But, uh, you know, the box wasn't that
big.

The trouble isn't just over.

I know.

Well, maybe you should rethink things.
No.

That's not possible. But I... Elizabeth,
it was either those cuts or get rid

of you.

And that is not something I would
entertain.

Hey. Oh, hey.

Thanks for a fun time.

You actually inspired me. Really? In
fact, I submitted another packet to

Waylate, and Ronan Gaines bought one of
my jokes for $200.

You did?

That's so good.

Oh, wow.

See? The top job doesn't automatically
make someone a monster.

Oh, this business.

My new sidekick, the only idiot willing
to take this humiliating job, Matthew

the Waylay Page.

Thank you, sir.

We like to promote from within. We don't
like to pay you more, and we haven't,

but glad you're aboard.

Can I get you anything?