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1
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Hi, I'm Marty DiPolo, also known as Teen
Angel.
2
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My job is to watch over my best friend,
Steve Beauchamp.
3
00:00:07,750 --> 00:00:08,850
Hi, Steve. Hey, Marty.
4
00:00:09,950 --> 00:00:12,710
Steve's the only human who can see or
hear me.
5
00:00:13,690 --> 00:00:14,690
Hi, Jordan.
6
00:00:15,490 --> 00:00:16,490
Bye, Jordan.
7
00:00:17,590 --> 00:00:21,370
As a guardian angel, I set my own rules
and make my own hours.
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00:00:21,910 --> 00:00:24,070
Basically, I'm my own boss.
9
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:27,540
Actually, that's my boss.
10
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There's more.
11
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:32,240
I think it could best be described in a
song.
12
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:39,540
There's a song about a boy named Marty.
13
00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:45,060
He had great hair and he loved to party.
Thank you very much.
14
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:46,420
Marty, Marty, Marty.
15
00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:54,140
This is my good health angel.
16
00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,420
And this is my safe driving angel.
17
00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:01,580
Oh, and this angel protects me from all
harm.
18
00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:03,120
Shoots out pepper spray.
19
00:01:06,540 --> 00:01:10,360
Oh, Aunt Pam, you know a lot of angels.
We all do, Katie.
20
00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:14,180
Beautiful angels that watch over us and
are devoted to making us happy.
21
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Hey, my chips.
22
00:01:21,020 --> 00:01:22,240
Shoot me, I'm hungry.
23
00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:26,340
And Aunt Louise is an angel now, and so
is Grandpa Joe.
24
00:01:26,660 --> 00:01:29,700
He must be the fall asleep with his
hands in his pants angel.
25
00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:31,420
I'll bet Marty is an angel.
26
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If Marty is in heaven, he's trained to a
bunch of other guys picking up trash.
27
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:46,060
Heaven is a very special place, and all
your loved ones go there.
28
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:47,380
Even my sea monkeys?
29
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,140
Even your sea monkeys.
30
00:01:49,460 --> 00:01:52,020
So everything that flushes down the
toilet goes to heaven.
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00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:54,080
Well, not everything.
32
00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:58,420
I'm afraid your mom has no idea what
heaven's like.
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00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:02,500
Oh, and the clouds? They're made of
delicious cotton candy.
34
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:03,800
Cotton candy?
35
00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,980
That's the craziest... Hmm.
36
00:02:08,539 --> 00:02:10,380
Hey, she's got one right.
37
00:02:22,430 --> 00:02:24,050
Hey, so who would you die of?
38
00:02:34,050 --> 00:02:35,050
Join the chess club?
39
00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:37,150
Join the chess club?
40
00:02:38,030 --> 00:02:41,650
Join the chess... Join the chess club?
41
00:02:42,550 --> 00:02:43,550
Sure, why not?
42
00:02:43,810 --> 00:02:46,390
Oh, boy. Now I have somebody to play
against.
43
00:02:47,190 --> 00:02:48,190
Chess club.
44
00:02:49,090 --> 00:02:50,090
Nerd alert.
45
00:02:50,290 --> 00:02:51,290
Nerd alert.
46
00:02:51,790 --> 00:02:56,410
But in case you haven't noticed, girls
aren't exactly falling all over each
47
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:57,410
other to go out with me.
48
00:02:58,710 --> 00:02:59,710
Thanks, Steve.
49
00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:02,150
You're welcome, Jessica.
50
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:06,790
Jessica Fishman just said thanks, Steve,
to you.
51
00:03:07,530 --> 00:03:11,230
It's even better than the time she said
hi, Dave, to me.
52
00:03:11,990 --> 00:03:13,170
This is a golden opportunity.
53
00:03:13,770 --> 00:03:14,770
Ask around.
54
00:03:15,690 --> 00:03:16,690
I don't know.
55
00:03:17,010 --> 00:03:19,030
I can't talk to girls the way I talk to
you.
56
00:03:19,290 --> 00:03:20,390
You can't go out with me.
57
00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:22,860
It's A, I'm a boy, and B, I'm dead.
58
00:03:24,220 --> 00:03:25,560
Cheerleaders are untouchable.
59
00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:30,220
A mystery wrapped in an enigma stuffed
into a tight sweater.
60
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,900
You're right. I'm gonna do it.
61
00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,840
Uh... Hi, Jessica.
62
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:41,240
Hi, Steve.
63
00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:46,620
So, um... Hi, Jessica.
64
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,060
Hi, Steve.
65
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,170
Tick -tock, tick... Tick tock, tick
tock.
66
00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:53,890
Time's running out. Act now. Supplies
are limited.
67
00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:55,290
Offer not valid in Missouri.
68
00:03:56,030 --> 00:04:00,050
You know, Jessica, I really like your
poster.
69
00:04:00,610 --> 00:04:01,990
The design, I mean.
70
00:04:02,370 --> 00:04:03,370
You do?
71
00:04:04,090 --> 00:04:09,250
Yeah, it shows the sophisticated use of
color, composition, and
72
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,490
smiley faces.
73
00:04:12,150 --> 00:04:17,390
Wow. No one's ever noticed my artwork
before. They just see me as a cute face
74
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:18,390
a cheerleading uniform.
75
00:04:19,339 --> 00:04:20,339
Oh, yeah.
76
00:04:22,140 --> 00:04:27,480
I was wondering, maybe if you're not
busy sometime...
77
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:30,400
I better get to home, Mac.
78
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,040
Well, can I take you out sometime?
79
00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:35,120
Call me later.
80
00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:38,880
You hear that, Marty? She wants me to
call her.
81
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,140
Steve, Steve, he's on top.
82
00:04:41,420 --> 00:04:43,620
Now he's late for metal shop.
83
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,160
All right.
84
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:51,540
You guys want to play bridge?
85
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,060
Sounds good. Why not?
86
00:04:53,780 --> 00:04:56,300
I want to be east. I want to be east.
87
00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:01,940
So thanks to me, Steve's going to ask
out a cheerleader.
88
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:03,720
Nice shot.
89
00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:09,840
Now, all this sounds very promising,
Marty, but teen romance is a minefield
90
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:10,840
fraught with obstacles.
91
00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:13,200
Remember what happened to Romeo and
Juliet?
92
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,040
What?
93
00:05:15,340 --> 00:05:16,960
Romeo and Juliet.
94
00:05:18,220 --> 00:05:20,120
You read it in English last year.
95
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:25,780
You got a B+. Oh, yeah, Romeo and
Juliet.
96
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,540
They went down to Mississippi on a raft.
97
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:32,120
No, that was Huckleberry Finn.
98
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:33,540
Who now?
99
00:05:33,740 --> 00:05:35,560
Oh, for goodness sake.
100
00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,900
Hold on. I have head waiting.
101
00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:47,980
How many times do I have to tell them I
don't want the daily news?
102
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:50,760
Now, where were we?
103
00:05:50,980 --> 00:05:53,280
You were telling me about that guy that
went down the Mississippi.
104
00:05:54,060 --> 00:05:55,060
Huckleberry Hound.
105
00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:58,640
Can I be transferred to accounting?
106
00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:02,480
Oh, Mac.
107
00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:05,680
Wasting valuable time and ingredients
for over half a century.
108
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:09,460
Now it's time to see what Jessica really
thinks.
109
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:14,360
So, anyway, Dee Beauchamp asked me for a
date and...
110
00:06:14,860 --> 00:06:16,020
I think I might say yes.
111
00:06:16,420 --> 00:06:19,200
Yes. I feel like I've died and gone to
heaven.
112
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Again.
113
00:06:21,860 --> 00:06:23,020
Steve Beauchamp?
114
00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:24,840
Ew.
115
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:28,280
Not the reaction I was hoping for.
116
00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:30,760
Hey, Steve -o.
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Nice neck brace.
118
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Thanks, Jordan.
119
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:37,260
But it's a tirac.
120
00:06:38,220 --> 00:06:40,040
Oh. Huh? Cool.
121
00:06:43,310 --> 00:06:44,850
Thought you were talking to Jessica
before.
122
00:06:45,910 --> 00:06:48,770
Excellent. You asked out a cheerleader?
123
00:06:49,190 --> 00:06:50,770
Nice opening gambit.
124
00:06:52,270 --> 00:06:55,550
She just told me to call her, but I
think she likes me.
125
00:06:57,790 --> 00:06:59,050
You're a cheerleader?
126
00:06:59,330 --> 00:07:01,010
He's chess club? Hello.
127
00:07:01,670 --> 00:07:04,690
That's like mating a donkey with a
cheerleader.
128
00:07:05,210 --> 00:07:08,390
That's silly. If I like a guy, I should
just go out with him.
129
00:07:08,630 --> 00:07:09,670
You go, girl.
130
00:07:10,270 --> 00:07:12,110
But not with Steve Beauchamp.
131
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:15,500
He'll probably want to take you
someplace really embarrassing, like Putt
132
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:19,860
Golf. You gotta take her to Putt -Putt
Golf. It's a real hot make -out place.
133
00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:22,160
So I hear.
134
00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,920
For my friends in the Babylon 5 chat
room.
135
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,860
Okay, okay. I won't go out with him. Oh,
no.
136
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,100
Steve's gonna be crushed.
137
00:07:30,460 --> 00:07:33,640
Good. Now, when he calls, don't be mean.
138
00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:35,020
Just do what I do.
139
00:07:35,380 --> 00:07:36,420
Laugh and hang out.
140
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:39,900
Even for a cheerleader, you're evil.
141
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:42,220
But you are hot.
142
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,640
Boy, that Jessica Fishman is hot.
143
00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,500
Yeah. Calm down, Kenny.
144
00:07:49,620 --> 00:07:51,260
I need to get back to my tie rack.
145
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:53,960
How's yours coming, Jordan?
146
00:07:54,380 --> 00:07:56,400
Well, it's not what I had in my head.
147
00:08:06,060 --> 00:08:07,060
Hello, Jessica.
148
00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:08,420
This is Steve Beauchamp.
149
00:08:11,330 --> 00:08:12,750
Jessica, hi, it's Steve.
150
00:08:15,790 --> 00:08:19,290
Jessica, Esteban here. Que pasa, baby?
151
00:08:20,730 --> 00:08:22,230
Steve, look at this dog I made.
152
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:24,970
Isn't he cute?
153
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:28,090
Yeah, that's nice, Katie. Look, I'm
trying to do something. He likes you.
154
00:08:28,690 --> 00:08:29,690
Give him a kiss.
155
00:08:30,670 --> 00:08:31,670
Okay, Katie.
156
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:33,990
That's his bottom.
157
00:08:34,990 --> 00:08:38,429
Now, if you get Katie out of here, I'm
going to call a girl for a date, and I'd
158
00:08:38,429 --> 00:08:39,429
like some privacy.
159
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,440
Oh, honey, let me give you some advice
about dating.
160
00:08:42,860 --> 00:08:44,900
Whatever you do, don't listen to me.
161
00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:48,380
Thanks, Pam. I'll do that. No, don't do
that.
162
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:49,760
That's the point.
163
00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:52,700
Get out of here.
164
00:09:00,380 --> 00:09:04,140
These Poppins are a lot harder than they
look on Bewitched.
165
00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:05,560
It's okay.
166
00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:08,220
Look, I'm glad you're here. Now you can
help me practice for this phone call.
167
00:09:08,780 --> 00:09:09,780
Steve, about that.
168
00:09:11,180 --> 00:09:13,340
I'm not sure calling Jessica is such a
great idea.
169
00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:16,540
Come on, look. I'll be me, you be
Jessica, okay?
170
00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:19,680
All right, here we go.
171
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:22,600
Ring, ring, ring.
172
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,020
Ring, ring, ring.
173
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:28,700
Hello?
174
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:30,920
Jessica, hi, it's Steve Beauchamp.
175
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,400
Oh, hi, Steve.
176
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:36,920
I was just thinking about you as I put
ointment on my enormous canker sore.
177
00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:44,120
Ring, ring, ring.
178
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,200
Joe's Pizzeria. Joe no hair.
179
00:09:47,460 --> 00:09:50,160
Marty. I didn't know hair either. I got
orders.
180
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:52,260
I guess we're done practicing.
181
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:55,380
Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta make a
call to the real girl.
182
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,920
Fine. I'm outta here. Okay.
183
00:10:00,340 --> 00:10:01,340
Where's your body?
184
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,040
I don't know.
185
00:10:03,420 --> 00:10:05,720
Last time this happened, it wound up in
a dumpster.
186
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,200
All right, here goes.
187
00:10:09,540 --> 00:10:10,540
Just relax.
188
00:10:11,650 --> 00:10:12,650
Hello, Jessica.
189
00:10:13,690 --> 00:10:14,790
Hello, Jessica.
190
00:10:15,890 --> 00:10:16,890
Hello, Jessica.
191
00:10:17,210 --> 00:10:18,550
Hello. Jessica.
192
00:10:19,170 --> 00:10:20,810
Jessica, hi. This is Steve.
193
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:23,670
Steve, I had a feeling you were going to
call.
194
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:25,209
You did?
195
00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:26,570
Call it women's intuition.
196
00:10:27,070 --> 00:10:29,210
Coming from a girl, which is what I am.
197
00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:30,710
Yeah, right.
198
00:10:31,450 --> 00:10:35,570
Listen, I was wondering, maybe we could
get together this weekend and... Ooh,
199
00:10:35,610 --> 00:10:37,210
sorry, I'm not good enough for you. Bye.
200
00:10:37,430 --> 00:10:38,430
No, wait, wait, wait.
201
00:10:38,790 --> 00:10:39,790
Please don't say that.
202
00:10:40,190 --> 00:10:41,350
Um, how about Friday?
203
00:10:41,630 --> 00:10:43,530
Friday? Are you okay?
204
00:10:43,770 --> 00:10:44,770
Oh, yes.
205
00:10:44,990 --> 00:10:46,230
Fine, fine.
206
00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:48,130
Everything's fine.
207
00:10:48,450 --> 00:10:50,550
Great. I'll pick you up at 7 .30. 7 .30?
208
00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:54,630
Uh, I mean, um, okay.
209
00:10:55,110 --> 00:10:56,410
Yes, thanks, Jessica.
210
00:10:56,630 --> 00:10:57,630
Bye.
211
00:10:58,070 --> 00:11:02,390
Yeah! I've got a date with Jessica
Fishman. Oh, no.
212
00:11:03,290 --> 00:11:05,590
I have a date with Steve Beauchamp.
213
00:11:12,650 --> 00:11:14,310
couldn't bear to see my bud get hurt.
214
00:11:15,310 --> 00:11:17,570
Spoken like a true guardian angel.
215
00:11:18,030 --> 00:11:21,250
To feel the pain of others is a sign of
pure grace.
216
00:11:21,610 --> 00:11:23,790
So I agreed to go out with them on
Friday night.
217
00:11:26,190 --> 00:11:28,230
You have a tape of steam.
218
00:11:30,810 --> 00:11:33,810
The other heads are going to roll when
they hear this.
219
00:11:36,150 --> 00:11:37,150
Are you done?
220
00:11:37,870 --> 00:11:38,870
Almost.
221
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:42,960
All right.
222
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,400
As I see it, you have two choices.
223
00:11:47,260 --> 00:11:48,520
Tell Steve the truth.
224
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,400
Or there's the quick and dirty way.
225
00:11:51,740 --> 00:11:53,540
Quick and dirty. Quick and dirty.
226
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:55,620
Why am I not surprised?
227
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:58,780
All right, Marty.
228
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:05,040
For the purpose of this date, I will
give you the power to become Jessica
229
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:06,800
Fishman. Really?
230
00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:09,540
But hands off the merchandise.
231
00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:11,680
No fair.
232
00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:14,580
It is done.
233
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:20,540
Now, becoming someone else isn't an easy
power to master. You'll need to work on
234
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,260
it. Piece of cake.
235
00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:23,860
Watch this.
236
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,220
Jessica Fishman.
237
00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:44,820
So handsome.
238
00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:47,660
Oh, my little boy's first date.
239
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:49,760
It's not my first date.
240
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:51,560
Your first date outside the family.
241
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:53,240
Mom.
242
00:12:54,580 --> 00:12:57,160
Steve, I made you a croissant to give to
Jessica.
243
00:12:57,620 --> 00:13:00,600
Thanks, Katie, but I don't think
Jessica... I killed my dog to make you
244
00:13:01,860 --> 00:13:02,860
Thank you, Katie.
245
00:13:03,140 --> 00:13:04,140
Smile, honey.
246
00:13:04,180 --> 00:13:06,720
Mom. Have fun.
247
00:13:07,180 --> 00:13:08,180
Come on, Katie.
248
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:13,040
Oh, hey, Marty. Hey.
249
00:13:13,470 --> 00:13:14,830
Just came to give you some last -minute
advice.
250
00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:19,990
Don't touch her, don't kiss her, and
remember, no means no.
251
00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:25,450
Here goes nothing.
252
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:33,090
Hmm. Suddenly I really want to listen to
a Linus Morissette.
253
00:13:33,990 --> 00:13:36,010
Hey, thanks for driving us, Aunt Pam.
254
00:13:36,670 --> 00:13:39,770
Tonight I am not your Aunt Pam. I am
your limo driver.
255
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:49,290
Jessica? Hi, Steve. I was so excited, I
thought, why not come early?
256
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:50,930
Well, let's go.
257
00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:53,229
You okay?
258
00:13:53,230 --> 00:13:54,670
No problem. No problem.
259
00:13:55,310 --> 00:13:56,790
I'm just not used to high heels.
260
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:00,070
So, where am I driving you?
261
00:14:00,430 --> 00:14:02,150
Well, I was thinking we could start off
at the mall.
262
00:14:03,770 --> 00:14:05,870
Keep her away from the pottery barn.
263
00:14:08,910 --> 00:14:11,430
Jessica, you look great.
264
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:13,810
Jessica?
265
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:17,800
That's me, Jessica.
266
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:19,900
I'm Jessica.
267
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:22,480
Great. She talks just like she walks.
268
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:26,200
After the movie, where do you want to go
eat?
269
00:14:27,460 --> 00:14:29,020
Some place with salad.
270
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,220
We women love salad.
271
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:34,340
That and that jerk from Lord of the
Dance. We love salad.
272
00:14:35,180 --> 00:14:38,320
Yeah. That man moves like pure poetry.
273
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:40,880
You idiot!
274
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:42,980
You're a fuzz guy!
275
00:14:43,260 --> 00:14:44,260
Oh.
276
00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:46,160
I had to stop time.
277
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,320
Sorry.
278
00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:51,800
Oh, dear.
279
00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:00,380
No, so you really like the Van Damme
movie?
280
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:04,580
Oh, yeah, especially when he hit the guy
with the two -by -four and said, Oh,
281
00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:05,620
getting bored.
282
00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:07,900
Nice.
283
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:11,620
Man, is she hot.
284
00:15:16,270 --> 00:15:18,290
A woman can appreciate another woman.
285
00:15:20,490 --> 00:15:23,890
Well, as far as I'm concerned, you're
the prettiest girl here.
286
00:15:25,910 --> 00:15:27,150
Did I say something wrong?
287
00:15:27,550 --> 00:15:28,550
No.
288
00:15:29,310 --> 00:15:30,310
Jordan.
289
00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:32,150
Jordan LaBelle.
290
00:15:32,610 --> 00:15:34,670
What a surprise to see you here.
291
00:15:34,990 --> 00:15:35,990
So, Jessica.
292
00:15:36,510 --> 00:15:40,790
Look, I'm sure that you guys have a lot
to talk about, so I'm just going to
293
00:15:40,790 --> 00:15:41,790
leave and never come back.
294
00:15:42,030 --> 00:15:43,030
Oh, no, no, no.
295
00:15:43,630 --> 00:15:46,350
No, it's not my style to interfere with
another guy's date.
296
00:15:47,370 --> 00:15:48,870
Interfere all you want. Please.
297
00:15:50,590 --> 00:15:51,590
Sorry.
298
00:15:53,930 --> 00:15:56,850
God. Why do you give me this power over
women?
299
00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:01,210
Is everything okay, Jessica?
300
00:16:01,690 --> 00:16:02,890
Sure. Sure.
301
00:16:03,690 --> 00:16:05,530
I just have to go to the bathroom.
302
00:16:05,910 --> 00:16:09,210
This darn bra is so tight.
303
00:16:10,350 --> 00:16:11,350
It's on backward.
304
00:16:11,710 --> 00:16:12,710
Oh, well.
305
00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:14,180
La -di -da.
306
00:16:18,620 --> 00:16:20,260
Those pumps are torture.
307
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:27,400
I just gotta let down Steve gently and
go home before this thing gets any more
308
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,400
complicated.
309
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,680
Ah! The real Jessica.
310
00:16:32,460 --> 00:16:33,460
Hi, honey.
311
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,620
You changed clothes in the middle of a
date?
312
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,000
Do I know you?
313
00:16:39,460 --> 00:16:40,680
Gotta get her out of here.
314
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:42,240
I know.
315
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,280
I'll set off her car alarm.
316
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:51,020
Ooh, your powers are great, too.
317
00:16:53,260 --> 00:16:54,540
Can't let her get to Steve.
318
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:55,920
Gotta think fast.
319
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:02,100
Mental
320
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:08,640
note.
321
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,660
Practice thinking fast.
322
00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:14,450
Stick to the plan.
323
00:17:14,530 --> 00:17:16,130
I'm almost out of the woods.
324
00:17:17,630 --> 00:17:18,710
Hey, is everything okay?
325
00:17:19,069 --> 00:17:20,069
Fine, fine.
326
00:17:20,109 --> 00:17:21,250
Everything is fine.
327
00:17:22,230 --> 00:17:22,710
How
328
00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:31,710
did
329
00:17:31,710 --> 00:17:32,710
it go?
330
00:17:32,770 --> 00:17:36,030
Great. I found a hair in my potato skin
and got a free dessert.
331
00:17:36,770 --> 00:17:37,870
I missed the date.
332
00:17:38,230 --> 00:17:39,230
Oh, that.
333
00:17:39,270 --> 00:17:41,630
Still going on? Out there on the porch?
334
00:17:46,980 --> 00:17:47,980
Young love.
335
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,560
Boy, girl, and the moon.
336
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,120
Just like I remember it.
337
00:17:55,640 --> 00:18:01,980
Look, Jessica, I'm not very good at
this, but could I give you a goodnight
338
00:18:02,660 --> 00:18:03,660
A kiss?
339
00:18:03,940 --> 00:18:04,940
On the lips?
340
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,080
With me?
341
00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:17,570
Now that's the way I remember it.
remember it. I
342
00:18:17,570 --> 00:18:20,690
guess this means you won't be taking me
to the homecoming dance.
343
00:18:20,970 --> 00:18:22,050
What did you do with my date?
344
00:18:22,590 --> 00:18:23,590
Don't you get it?
345
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:25,070
There was no date.
346
00:18:25,770 --> 00:18:29,210
Well, there was with me, and I had a
wonderful time.
347
00:18:29,950 --> 00:18:31,470
But you didn't go out with Jessica.
348
00:18:32,370 --> 00:18:33,370
I didn't?
349
00:18:33,390 --> 00:18:37,330
No. I found out she was going to blow
you off when you called, so I took her
350
00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:40,010
place. That way you wouldn't feel so
bad.
351
00:18:41,030 --> 00:18:42,030
It didn't work.
352
00:18:44,070 --> 00:18:45,890
I feel like I'm going to throw up.
353
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,920
Yes. But at least you'll be throwing up
a lovely dinner.
354
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:53,280
Marty, why didn't you just tell me the
truth?
355
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:55,600
Of course, the truth.
356
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,280
If only someone had mentioned that
earlier, this whole ugly mess could have
357
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:00,280
avoided.
358
00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:02,740
Point taken.
359
00:19:03,740 --> 00:19:05,820
Man, I thought I was doing so well on
this date.
360
00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:08,700
Turns out that's because I was dating
you.
361
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:12,660
Hey, man, any girl would have had a
great time tonight. You were funny,
362
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,900
charming, a little cheap.
363
00:19:15,630 --> 00:19:17,650
I notice I'm not holding a box of
chocolates.
364
00:19:19,670 --> 00:19:21,230
You really think I'm a good date?
365
00:19:21,490 --> 00:19:23,690
Yeah, because you're being yourself.
366
00:19:23,890 --> 00:19:24,930
It goes like that.
367
00:19:25,810 --> 00:19:28,350
Besides, you are cute.
368
00:19:30,090 --> 00:19:31,090
Shut up.
369
00:19:31,910 --> 00:19:32,910
Oh,
370
00:19:33,270 --> 00:19:36,490
you've got a young Conan O 'Brien thing
going on.
371
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:38,390
And you have great eyes.
372
00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:40,030
I said shut up.
373
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:46,579
Robert speaking.
374
00:19:46,580 --> 00:19:51,540
Will the student who stole the letters C
and L from the class of 96 plaque
375
00:19:51,540 --> 00:19:53,700
please return them? That is all.
376
00:19:58,220 --> 00:20:00,180
Steve. Oh, hi, Jessica.
377
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:03,000
Hey, I thought you were going to call me
the other night. What happened?
378
00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:06,060
Yeah, I was, but... Was it something I
did?
379
00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:08,120
I hope it wasn't something I did.
380
00:20:08,780 --> 00:20:11,800
Oh, I get it. By not calling her, you
made her insecure.
381
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:13,600
Now she wants you.
382
00:20:14,260 --> 00:20:15,580
Just like I planned.
383
00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:18,100
All right.
384
00:20:18,540 --> 00:20:19,540
I lucked out.
385
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,940
Oh, is it okay if I call you sometime?
386
00:20:23,460 --> 00:20:25,680
Yeah, sure. Yeah, that'd be great.
Great.
387
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,120
I'll talk to you soon.
388
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:28,440
Okay.
389
00:20:30,140 --> 00:20:31,200
Steve Beauchamp!
390
00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:35,160
You just had the cutest girl in school
ask you out on a date.
391
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:36,660
What are you going to do now?
392
00:20:37,340 --> 00:20:38,380
I'm going to the chess club.
393
00:20:46,350 --> 00:20:48,490
After dinner, I was thinking we could go
see the Bette Midler movie.
394
00:20:48,690 --> 00:20:49,689
Bette Midler?
395
00:20:49,690 --> 00:20:50,690
That cow?
396
00:20:50,830 --> 00:20:52,310
Let's see some Van Damme.
397
00:20:53,890 --> 00:20:56,270
Marty? Did you just tell me, Marty?
398
00:20:58,170 --> 00:20:59,170
Will you relax?
399
00:20:59,650 --> 00:21:00,930
It's not me this time.
400
00:21:02,150 --> 00:21:04,410
I would never wear those shoes with that
blouse.
401
00:21:04,850 --> 00:21:05,850
Hello?
402
00:21:20,430 --> 00:21:21,430
Got a pair of threes.
403
00:21:23,290 --> 00:21:26,510
I will raise you a dollar.
26526
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