Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:06,298
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:10,302
Today, I'm proud to celebrate the
opening of a thing I'd never heard of:
3
00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:12,971
a freeway wildlife crossing.
4
00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:16,266
Now here is a little girl
whose pestering has made this,
5
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:20,103
whatever this is,
a reality, Lisa Simpson.
6
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:24,566
This land bridge will allow animals to
migrate safely and end the collisions
7
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:28,028
that have turned our freeways
into a carcass-ridden hellscape.
8
00:00:35,541 --> 00:00:37,246
That's it, furry friends.
9
00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:41,917
Migrate wherever your little paws,
hooves and trotters wish to take you.
10
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:52,261
They're headed towards the
pharmaceutical factory.
11
00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:59,059
- ♪ Bobcats on drugs ♪
- _
12
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,769
- ♪ Frogs on drugs ♪
- _
13
00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,604
- ♪ Coyotes on drugs ♪
- _
14
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:05,057
- ♪ Deer on drugs ♪
- _
15
00:01:09,101 --> 00:01:11,446
This is your crane on drugs.
16
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:14,408
The wildlife of Springfield
has gone on a bad trip,
17
00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:17,452
gobbling up several tons
of psychiatric medication.
18
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:21,623
Snakes on antipsychotics are
befriending rats on Zoloft.
19
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:24,251
Beavers on beta blockers
are building dams
20
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,628
without their usual performance anxiety.
21
00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:29,548
Turtles tweaking on
Adderall are racing past
22
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,967
chilled-out rabbits on Klonopin.
23
00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:35,429
Look at those turtles go.
America's back, baby.
24
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:37,014
Dad, watch the road.
25
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,098
Oh, right, driving.
26
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:39,975
Okay, boy, you know the drill.
27
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:43,603
I can't get sucked into a conversation
with Milhouse's loser dad,
28
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:47,899
so you need to bail out of the car
without me coming to a full stop.
29
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:52,321
Don't push me.
I'm trying to time my jump.
30
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:54,323
Love you, bud.
31
00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:02,539
Hey, buddy. Come check out
this new sprinkler I bought.
32
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:05,542
360 rotation, ma friend.
33
00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:10,005
Stuck at 90.
34
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:12,341
It was doing it this morning, I swear.
35
00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:18,764
Get in here, or you'll be trampled.
36
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:20,682
Trampled, eh?
37
00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,392
Death or Kirk?
38
00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:25,312
Death or Kirk?
39
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:26,938
Death, it is.
40
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:31,276
Due to this tragic and
not-at-all-my-fault stampede
41
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,986
of hopped-up wildlife...
42
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:36,114
...all citizens are required
to shelter in place.
43
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:39,451
At least until the badgers
come down from the Ritalin.
44
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:42,496
Looks like we're having a sleepover.
45
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,873
Boys' night!
46
00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:45,957
Yay!
47
00:02:47,563 --> 00:02:48,794
Nay.
48
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:51,630
Hope everyone's hungry for spaghetti!
49
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:52,964
Mmm!
50
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:55,759
And to wash it down, the pasta water.
51
00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,805
Ooh.
52
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:02,766
You drink the water you
boil the noodles in?
53
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,394
Doesn't everyone?
It's got all the nutrients.
54
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:08,397
I love my "noody" juice.
55
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:12,150
This family sucks. Everything
they do is different and wrong.
56
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:15,237
May I be excused to go to the bathroom?
57
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,322
Do you need to winkle or make?
58
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:18,740
Ew.
59
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:26,498
Today, I show you
how to restore full rotation
60
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:27,916
on the sprinkler head.
61
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,293
Step one, remove splash plate.
62
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,546
Why aren't you sleeping in your bedroom?
63
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:36,007
Oh, Luann won't let me sleep in our bed
'cause of my night sweats
64
00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:40,637
and night farting and also something I'm
too embarrassed to talk about.
65
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,764
Uh-huh. Can I get one of those saltines?
66
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:44,057
Have a whole sleeve.
67
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:47,561
I get a 5% employee discount
at the cracker factory.
68
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:50,522
I took that in lieu of the pension.
69
00:03:51,456 --> 00:03:53,108
Marge won't let me eat crackers in bed
70
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,776
because it makes the bed all crumby.
71
00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:56,611
Oh, man. That's how it starts.
72
00:03:56,695 --> 00:04:00,365
Next thing you know, you can't even
take your socks off in your own house.
73
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:03,827
Kirk, socks!
74
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:12,127
Well, it's been really great
having you guys.
75
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,379
We'll finish the jigsaw
puzzle next time.
76
00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:17,340
We got the corners!
That's the hard part!
77
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:21,219
Well, great.
Now it does a full rotation.
78
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,849
And they say "winkle" instead of "whiz."
Who says "winkle"?
79
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:30,061
We should. I think it's cute. Winkle.
80
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,691
Oh, no, it's him. I'm not here.
81
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,071
Oh, hi, Kirk. Are you okay?
82
00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:43,325
You're not looking your most,
uh, sheveled.
83
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,993
Yeah, that's because
I haven't slept in a week.
84
00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:46,870
I couldn't stop thinking
about how cracker crumbs
85
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,413
are destroying your marital bed.
86
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:49,873
Who told you that?
87
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,124
- Not me.
- Oh, hey, buddy.
88
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:53,710
I kept wondering about how I
could save your sexless marriage,
89
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:57,047
and then some teens dropped candy
apples on my car from an overpass.
90
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,715
They weren't all teens.
91
00:04:58,799 --> 00:04:59,883
I mean, tell us more.
92
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:03,053
When the apples hit my windshield,
the glass cracked like a spiderweb
93
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:06,097
but didn't spray any shards.
And that is when I had an epiphany.
94
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:09,392
I could use that same technology
to make a crumbless cracker.
95
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,062
A crumbless cracker? That's madness.
96
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:15,690
All I had to do was create a new edible
polymer and a mouth-safe adhesive.
97
00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:18,360
And after working on that
for 96 hours straight,
98
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:21,613
I came up with this.
99
00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:22,948
Take a bite, buddy.
100
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,586
It broke clean.
101
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:44,427
Kirk Van Houten,
you did something incredible.
102
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:48,139
No, Homer, we did something incredible.
103
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,021
This is big, man.
104
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:58,316
It's just hard to wrap my head
around the idea of a cracker
105
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,861
that doesn't crumb and
a you that doesn't suck.
106
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:07,534
Oh, yeah, I-I used to suck pretty hard,
107
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:10,203
yeah, but you brought me out of
it with your brilliant insight.
108
00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:13,206
And now... now I need you
to take a leap of faith.
109
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,416
I do like faith.
110
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:17,043
It is the best way to get
out of thinking about stuff.
111
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:22,591
Quit your job and partner with me in
a new, cutting-edge cracker company.
112
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:25,844
Homer? A cracker bro?
113
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,387
Let's take a walk.
114
00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:29,556
Picture something for me.
115
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:33,184
Imagine this street is your whole life.
116
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,103
Whoa.
117
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,900
For a while,
your existence was pretty good,
118
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,568
but then things got hard
119
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:46,239
and life's crackers began to
shower you with their crumbs.
120
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:48,867
The job.
121
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:50,744
The boy.
122
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,246
The hair.
123
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:57,167
All those crumbs you
endured were worth it
124
00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:01,212
because they led you
to a different path.
125
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,718
And after we walk it,
you're gonna be a hero
126
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:09,971
to your family... and to the world.
127
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:14,017
I wanna share this journey with
you because you're a good man.
128
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,144
I love you.
129
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:17,979
I love you too.
130
00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:23,318
Tell me, do you dare wipe away
these starchy particles of shame?
131
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:30,992
Homer, will you join me
down this unknown road?
132
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:34,829
I just have one question.
133
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:37,957
If there's no crumbs,
what's that on your shirt?
134
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:39,250
Dandruff.
135
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:40,877
I'm in.
136
00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:47,592
Excuse me, sir, would you like to
taste the future of bland food?
137
00:07:49,273 --> 00:07:52,722
Mmm. Not bad. And no crumbs.
138
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,350
Tonight,
I'm gonna have the cleanest beard
139
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:57,686
at the botched meth handoff.
140
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,064
Sisters, you gotta try these.
141
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,734
- Mmm. And no crumbs.
- Mmm.
142
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:08,154
It's a crispy habit that
won't mess up your habit.
143
00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:09,739
It's a miracle.
144
00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:15,662
Listen up, toilet paper hoarders
and hot dog cheapskates.
145
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:18,164
The cracker revolution is here.
146
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:25,171
Yums, not crumbs. Yums, not crumbs.
147
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:29,092
Yums, not crumbs! Yums, not crumbs!
148
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,761
It's happening!
149
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,597
- Ooh.
- Oh, my God.
150
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:38,560
Um, Kirk, as your doctor,
I am deeply concerned by your behavior.
151
00:08:39,330 --> 00:08:41,020
I left you a message regarding your...
152
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:44,357
Not now, Doc.
I've gotta change the world.
153
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,526
And no crumbs.
154
00:08:56,883 --> 00:08:57,996
Good news.
155
00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:02,208
Delta Air Lines just ordered cracker
sleeves for their entire fleet.
156
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:08,339
Going crumbless is gonna save them
$1.5 million a day in cleaning costs.
157
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,716
All right, Dad.
158
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:13,636
Uh, Garçon, how much is your
most expensive bottle of wine?
159
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,056
Forty bucks. Snoopy's on the bottle.
160
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,141
Aw, it's not good enough for my friends,
161
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:23,396
which is why I bought this
$15,000 bottle at auction.
162
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:27,525
Uh, sweetheart,
isn't that a little pricey?
163
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,027
Honey, if there's one thing I know,
164
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:32,781
it's that there will always be
enough money for everything forever.
165
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,493
We are eternity.
166
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,662
Nothing goes away.
167
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,167
Dad, you're being a little weird.
168
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,711
Oh, Milhouse, you're so wise.
169
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:50,090
And, Luann, you're just so freaking hot.
170
00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:55,845
I wish I was that lobster bib,
just so damp and all over you.
171
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:59,432
Does Kirk seem a little bejazzled?
172
00:10:00,137 --> 00:10:02,602
We're missing his brilliant insights.
173
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:06,856
Oh, I just love the feeling of
your sweat touching my sweat.
174
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:12,529
Oh... Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.
175
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,197
Oh, let me get a better look
at you, baby.
176
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,616
Come here, come here.
177
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,910
- Be careful!
- Honey, please.
178
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:22,080
Oh, come on, baby.
Shake your Milhouse maker.
179
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:26,876
I wanna bang the whole world!
180
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,839
Sixteen, 17, 18, 19...
181
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:32,465
Amazing.
182
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,926
I don't know what's happening
with Mr. Van Houten.
183
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:36,719
It's like he's on something.
184
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,596
More like he's off something.
185
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:41,349
You see,
Kirk suffers from bipolar disorder,
186
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:43,935
and he ran out of his meds during
the pharmaceutical shortage
187
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:47,313
caused by that horribly
ill-advised wildlife crossing.
188
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:52,360
And when the drug supply returned,
Kirk refused to go back on his meds
189
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:56,072
because he felt like, quote,
"Superman surfing a hurricane."
190
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:59,659
I'm afraid your friend is now
well into a manic phase.
191
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:03,413
Um, Dr. Hibbert,
should you be telling us all this?
192
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:07,458
Probably not, but I just had
five mac-and-cheeseball martinis.
193
00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:11,045
I guess doctor-patient
confidentiality doesn't stand a chance
194
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,589
against deep-fried gin.
195
00:11:14,205 --> 00:11:15,550
I feel terrible.
196
00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:20,513
He needs to get back on his medication.
Kirk has a serious illness.
197
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:24,350
Marge, you just had
a $3,000 glass of wine.
198
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:26,102
How is that an illness?
199
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,729
Yeah, Kirk rules.
200
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:30,982
He's like the Joker in those awesome
Batman movies where there's no Batman.
201
00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:32,901
According to the DSM-5,
202
00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:36,863
"Bipolar disorder type one causes
periods of up, elated behavior
203
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:40,241
followed by down periods of
despair and hopelessness."
204
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:41,326
Guys, wait up!
205
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,036
I-I need to tell you something.
206
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:47,999
Thank you for coming, buddy.
Really appreciate it.
207
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:52,170
I don't even live in this direction!
208
00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:01,638
Hi, Luann. I wanted to talk
about Kirk's behavior last night.
209
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:05,058
It seemed a little, uh, unmedicated?
210
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,268
Oh, right. Kirk's "disorder."
211
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:09,938
It turns out there's a cure: money.
212
00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:12,523
That'll be all, Cashington.
213
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,400
But aren't you worried that...
214
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:18,279
That I won't be able to keep him
sexually satisfied? Of course I am.
215
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,657
We've made love four times today.
216
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:24,202
Five if you count the time
he took me at Panera Bread.
217
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,120
Why wouldn't you count that one?
218
00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:30,166
Listen, Marge, I know you're only here
because you wanna sleep with Kirk.
219
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,918
I do not.
220
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,002
Really?
221
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:36,506
He just became a minority
owner of the Calgary Flames.
222
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,633
Oh, they haven't been good for years.
223
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:42,512
Aren't you at least worried about
how this could affect Milhouse?
224
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,598
Look at me. I'm Daddy.
225
00:12:48,475 --> 00:12:50,937
That's going to be
the boarding school's problem.
226
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:52,438
You're watching CNBC:
227
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:55,191
The Crackers,
Nothing but Crackers Network.
228
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,901
I'm Harper Poppyseed,
229
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,279
And this is Crunch Time: Live.
230
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:03,241
Today, we talk with the genius behind
the crumbless cracker, Kirk Van Houten,
231
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:05,285
and his cofounder, Homer Simpson.
232
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:09,539
Your Kirkers brand now controls
6% of the national saltine market.
233
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,207
What are your plans for expansion?
234
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,959
We don't have a plan for expansion.
235
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,669
We have a plan for domination.
236
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:16,587
I eat skyscrapers.
237
00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:19,465
Um, what my colleague is
saying is that we have a plan
238
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:21,592
for measured steady growth.
239
00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:23,720
What is this thing? I hate it.
240
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,305
Do you mean the stock ticker?
241
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:27,598
Oh, look, it's Cheez-Its.
242
00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:31,561
Oh, those cheddar chumps turned
me down for a job seven years ago.
243
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,314
Hey, Zits, tell me how ma butt tastes.
244
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:36,899
Well, that's all the time we have.
Thanks for joining us.
245
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:40,903
Mr. Van Houten, your competitors say
your product is not all it's crack...
246
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,697
We really gonna talk about crackers
247
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:45,033
when humanity is on the
verge of extinction...
248
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:47,827
and I am the only one who can save us?
249
00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:49,328
Excuse me?
250
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:51,873
Once temperatures on the
Earth's surface become lethal,
251
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:54,751
we need to transport
citizens to the ocean floor
252
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,753
using a high-speed aquatic rocket.
253
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,504
Ooh. Oh, my God.
254
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:03,593
Mr. Van Houten, your stock has plummeted
over 60% since the start of our interview.
255
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:08,473
And humanity needs to plummet
2,000 fathoms to the ocean floor.
256
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,975
Fund the aqua rocket now.
257
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:13,478
Oh... It's no longer safe
for me to be here.
258
00:14:15,375 --> 00:14:16,064
Ow.
259
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,982
It's not a real city.
260
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:20,359
Homer, I don't feel so good.
261
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:29,660
Hey, buddy. What you doing?
262
00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:31,162
Checking the weather.
263
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:34,082
"Gray and cloudy." Refresh.
264
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:37,001
"Gray and cloudy." Refresh.
265
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:41,839
You know how some people think
you're something called "bipolar"?
266
00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:45,426
Not me,
but this might be the other pole.
267
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:48,679
I think I'm gonna stop
brushing my teeth.
268
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:52,100
This is the FBI. We have a warrant.
269
00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,772
Why is the FBI here?
270
00:14:57,855 --> 00:15:00,983
Uh, because I stole money
from the cracker company
271
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,485
to fund the aqua rocket,
272
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:06,114
and now we're being
investigated by the SEC.
273
00:15:06,590 --> 00:15:08,783
The Salty Edibles Commission?
274
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:10,827
No. No, no, no!
275
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,204
Mmm, my hand smells like cheese.
276
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:15,623
What the hell is happening?
277
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:18,167
Well, Kirk has been stealing
money from the company
278
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:21,003
to fund an underwater super
boat that doesn't exist.
279
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,005
Well, everyone is terrified.
280
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:26,467
As soon as the FBI came in,
Bart ran upstairs.
281
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:28,511
Not the feds, not the feds.
282
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:34,183
You know how I was warning you
about how Kirk was bipolar?
283
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:37,687
I was the one... You-You didn't...
284
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,690
It's okay. It's okay. I forgive you.
285
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,817
I have a plan to make everything right.
286
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,652
What could you possibly do?
287
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:46,988
I've gotta take the fall
for Kirk's crimes.
288
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,824
Our family's in ruins!
289
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:53,828
No, no. Look, if Kirk goes to jail,
the cracker company is worthless.
290
00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:57,832
But if I confess, our shares in
the business will make us rich.
291
00:15:57,915 --> 00:15:59,959
No amount of money can fix this.
292
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,669
Not even this much?
293
00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:04,046
Not even th...
294
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:06,424
I-I-I still don't
think you should do it.
295
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:09,135
Oh, there's another zero.
296
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:12,847
It doesn't matter. Promise me
you won't take the fall for Kirk.
297
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:16,934
Okay, I promise.
I'll think of another way.
298
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:21,063
Dearest Marge,
I couldn't think of another way.
299
00:16:21,959 --> 00:16:23,357
Please try not to gasp.
300
00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:26,485
I'll be okay.
They'll send me to a white-collar prison
301
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:29,780
that probably has lots of
DVDs in their DVD library.
302
00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:34,202
Kiss Lisa and Maggie and strangle
the boy for me. Love, Homer.
303
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,831
♪ When your day is long ♪
304
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,752
♪ And at night ♪
305
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:46,839
♪ At night, you snack alone ♪
306
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:54,972
♪ When you're sure
your hunger's gone ♪
307
00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:58,226
♪ For this life ♪
308
00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:02,355
♪ Well, hang on ♪
309
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:10,321
♪ Don't let yourself choke ♪
310
00:17:14,075 --> 00:17:18,496
♪ Just because your mouth is dry ♪
311
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:25,962
♪ Everybody Kirks ♪
312
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:30,132
♪ Crumb times ♪
313
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:37,598
♪ Well, everybody Kirks ♪
314
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:40,643
♪ At crumb times ♪
315
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:44,689
♪ When crackers taste like lies ♪
316
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:52,905
♪ Everybody Kirks ♪
317
00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:56,742
♪ So munch on ♪
318
00:17:57,827 --> 00:18:00,329
♪ Munch on ♪
319
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:05,251
♪ Everybody Kirks ♪
320
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:07,545
Munch on, Kirk.
321
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,800
I need to talk to your husband now.
322
00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:16,053
Oh, look. Kitty needs her ball of yarn.
323
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:18,222
I see you wore your sluttiest dress.
324
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,433
Whatever. Where is he?
325
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:26,272
Oh, Kirk, I know you're not to blame
for this depression, and I'm sorry.
326
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:31,027
But Homer is... Stop eating turkey!
327
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,445
Blech.
328
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,280
Wake up.
329
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:39,827
Kirk, you're only supposed
to use the pool shower.
330
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:43,414
Sad, Marge. Just sad.
331
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:47,043
Homer is on his way to
confess to your crimes.
332
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,879
You have to go to the FBI
and tell them the truth.
333
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,381
Milhouse is crying on me.
334
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:56,969
Dr. Hibbert gave me your pills.
God love him, but he's so unethical.
335
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:59,388
If you take these, you'll feel better.
336
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:02,141
But no one likes me
when I'm regular Kirk.
337
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:05,645
When I stopped taking my meds,
everyone liked me.
338
00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:06,771
I didn't.
339
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:11,484
But if you ever cared about your
friendship with Homer, take this.
340
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,448
Homer's been gone for so long.
341
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,033
There's no time to catch up to him
342
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,952
before he confesses and
my family is destroyed.
343
00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:25,873
Whoa. Yes, there is.
The-The aqua rocket.
344
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:31,921
There is no aqua rocket. It only
exists in your manic, psychotic mind.
345
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,141
This is incredible.
346
00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:46,185
Oh, I couldn't even get the color right.
347
00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:49,605
The missiles don't even work.
I'm so stupid.
348
00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:57,905
Is this what being manic feels like?
349
00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,073
Yeah.
350
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:01,075
Now I get it.
351
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,330
Aqua rocket?
352
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:14,171
But I can't let you go to jail.
The world needs you. I need you.
353
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:18,259
The person you need is Manic Kirk,
and he's gone.
354
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:22,263
But we were going to walk down
the unknown road together.
355
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:26,308
Hey, hey. We'll always have
Cracker Con Cleveland.
356
00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:35,860
Kirk, never forget.
You are the best dude.
357
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:51,584
♪ I am, I am, I am Superman ♪
358
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:55,171
♪ And I know what's happening ♪
359
00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:03,512
♪ If you go a million miles away ♪
360
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:07,349
♪ I'll track you down, girl ♪
361
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:09,810
♪ Trust me when I say ♪
362
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:13,898
♪ I know the pathway to your heart ♪
363
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:18,736
♪ I am, I am, I am Superman ♪
364
00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:22,531
♪ And I know what's happening ♪
365
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:29,205
♪ I am, I am, I am Superman ♪
366
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:33,000
♪ And I can do anything ♪
367
00:21:39,952 --> 00:21:40,966
Shh.
368
00:21:44,054 --> 00:21:46,964
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
28534
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.