All language subtitles for Ghosts 05x02 Viking Wedding [2025-10-23 20-31] uswcbs HQ

I just can't stop thinking about it.

Carol, our newest and arguably worst
ghost, an adulterous mob accountant,

one good deed and up she goes?

I mean, it was a doozy of a good deed,
though. You know, she saved Jay. She

saved me.

Well, in truth, she didn't really end up
saving you, but rather took your spot

up there. She robbed you of the suck
-off that was rightfully yours.

Damn it, Carol.

What's with all the water bottles?

Now, the company that delivers Sam and
Jay's water got bought out by some big

conglomerate, and now the service has
fallen completely off a cliff.

Sam has been trying to cancel for days,
but she can't get a human on the phone.

She's slowly going insane, and it is a
joy to watch.

Representative.

Representative!

Still no luck, Sam? No, this company is
so annoying. They still haven't picked

up the empties.

Wait, did they drop off more bottles?

Okay, got it. You're requesting more
bottles. Is that right?

What? No!

This is why in the cult, we always got
water from the stream and milk from the

neighbor's dog.

Look at this bad boy.

Class A, extended cab.

I bet that baby's got some sweet slide
outs.

Hello there, Samantha.

Hi. What do you think of the old girl?

I mean the RV, not Margaret.

I kid. I am still very sexually
attracted to her.

I heard a truck.

Is that the water delivery guys?

Oh, hey, Farnsby. Hello, Jay. We just
wanted to stop by to let you two know

we'll be leaving for a while. We're
embarking on an autumnal tour.

We're doing a little peeping. I bet you
are.

Oh, wow.

Well, how long are you thinking you'll
be gone? Several months. We've rented

the house to a lovely young couple.
We're going to hit all the major swinger

communities. Apparently, Harrisburg goes
hard.

It's true.

It does.

So would you like to take a quick tour
of the RV? Yeah, I would not go inside

that bus.

No, thank you. We're good. But have fun
and drive safe.

And do other things safe.

All right, Margaret. All aboard the
Pineapple Express.

Bye, everyone.

Follow -up! We have big news!

Judy and I are getting married!

That is wonderful!

We were waiting till my pervert son and
his degenerate wife moved out, and now

that day has finally come.

You do not want to risk orgy breaking
out during wedding ceremony.

Thorfinn completely understand.

Orgy meant for after ceremony.

This is wonderful news, Thor.

Yeah, really happy for you, big guy.

Representative!

And they're doing ceremony in front of
the screaming window so Thor can watch.

I'm his plus one, and I know exactly
what I'm wearing.

This.

Bjorn also bestowed great honor upon
Thor. He asked Thor to speak at wedding.

Thor, most touched.

Oh, that's great, Thor. And if you need
someone to sing.

We all good.

Hey, guys. Just got back from the
Farnsby's. Heard the big news, Thor.

Mazel tov.

Please don't say Jewish things and point
at me. Anyway, Sam, guess who's renting

the Farnsby's house.

The names Garrett and Libby mean
anything to you? Get out.

Seriously?

There's this great couple we know from
Brooklyn. Jay, Garrett, and Libby are

renting the Farnsby's. This is huge.

So are we just moving on from the pool
thing?

What is so great about Garrett and
Libby?

They're like the social chairs at the
friend group. They plan these great

couples trips every year. They look so
fun. Last year, they went whitewater

rafting in the Yellowstone River. And
then this year, I hear they're planning

scavenger hunt in Bimini. I don't know
where that is, but we need to be there.

Oh, these two needed numbskulls. God
love them. Why wouldn't they have

out to us, though? They know we live up
here.

Very simple explanation for that.

They think you're both nuts.

Oh, no. No, Jay, they think we're nuts.

Did they talk to Nico and Sasha?

Oh, the couple that thought you wanted
to murder them on Halloween?

Bingo. Silver lining, apparently you two
are a favorite topic at some very cool

dinner parties in the city.

Samantha, let not one setback define
your social standing. Your failure at

Halloween is just a rumor to these
people.

They weren't there to see how truly
embarrassing your behavior really was.

just go say hey.

The goats think we should go try to
smooth things over.

Yeah, I don't know. That sounds like it
might get weird.

It doesn't have to be weird.

Just go ask for a cup of sugar. Or, if
their dog is postpartum, some milk.

They just went for a jog. They'll
probably be back in a couple minutes.

Let's get out to the mailboxes. Pete
says they'll be jogging by any second.

about Evercreek? I don't think the
reception will go that far.

Oh, we could just call them back later.

Are you joking?

We're six hours in. We're not hanging
up. I showered with this phone in a bag.

He looked ridiculous.

I mean, I imagine he looked ridiculous.

Sam, allow me. We ghosts can't do much,
but we can wait on hold. And certain

very powerful ghosts can even press one
to remain on the line.

Ha! My man can leave the property. You
know he can.

Ooh, so powerful.

That's right, baby.

Oh, God.

Where do we look?

Okay, so the ghosts are in place for the
yelling line in case anyone from Ever

Creek picks up the phone.

Penny! Give a test yell!

Samantha's posture is not that of
someone attempting to make a good first

impression!

Loud and clear!

Here they come. Here they come.

Oh, my God!

Garrett Libby, hi!

Hey!

What are you guys doing here? We're
checking our mail.

Good improv, Jay. A little first
thought, but sometimes the first

best thought.

We actually just rented a house in the
neighborhood.

The Farnsby's? Oh, no way. We lived just
down the road.

Welcome. We love it here. It's so nice
to get out of the city, huh?

Oh, yeah. The city was driving us crazy.

I mean, not...

Crazy. Crazy was a poor choice of words.
Oh, because they heard that you were

crazy. Oh, that's sensitive of them.

Yeah, it's a great area. We just got a
new brunch spot.

Nina's. Oh, we tried to go there this
morning. Yeah, but the line was like

Not nuts. It was long. The line there
was long.

So how are you liking the Farnsby's?

It's great. You know, we were thinking
about turning one of the bedrooms into a

media room, but is it rude to move all
the furniture around in a rental?

I'm sure they wouldn't mind.

Oh, really?

That's great.

Strike while the iron is hot!

Extend a social invitation!

So, speaking about great restaurants in
the area, which is something we recently

talked about before we talked about
something else.

Power through.

Anyway, we have a restaurant.

Jay is the chef.

It's called Mahesh. You guys should join
us for dinner there tonight.

Yeah, it'll be so fun.

Sure. Why not?

We'll take it.

Father, wedding is tomorrow.

So happy to get to share this special
day with you.

Me too, son.

We'll be moment on chance for eternity.

Wait. What's happening?

You don't think it's weird in front of
the window? No, babe, the point of a

theater is that it's dark. This is good.

Father, they're about to block the
window.

Your attendance at the wedding is in
jeopardy!

To our victory

at the mailbox!

What are they celebrating?

The most incremental bit of forward
movement in a potential friendship with

couple renting the Farnsby house.

Disaster struck!

What's wrong, Thor?

The renters moved furniture in front of
the screaming window.

Thor can't see sun.

We'll miss wedding.

This time next year, we're going to be
scavenger hunting on a beach in Bimini.

That is if, in fact, Bimini is by the
ocean.

I'm 80 % sure it's an island.

I'm 100 years dead, and even I know you
can look that up.

Jay, Garrett and Libby moved a bookcase
in front of the screaming window.

But how's Thor going to see the wedding?

Yeah, that's the problem. Thor, this is
solvable.

Samantha and Jay will simply broach the
subject at their upcoming dinner tonight

and get the couple to remove the
offending object.

Yes! So simple.

You look troubled.

Why are you looking troubled?

Samantha, I would hate for you to
trample this nascent friendship with an

awkward request for something that
should be none of your concern.

Samantha, please.

Sun's wedding means everything to Thor.

Thor not there for Sun's first kill.

Not there for Bjorn's first orgy.

That's so sad.

Thor not there for Bjorn's first
wedding.

So I need to be there for this one.

Okay.

If there's an opening, we'll bring up
moving the bookcase. Damn it. We were on

such a not weird roll with this couple.
I mean, the successful interaction at

the mailbox.

Oh, okay. I guess that's all there was.

Please continue to hold. And thank you
for choosing Evercreek, the Hudson

Valley's only choice in water delivery.

Why are they so proud of that? Dude,
you're still on hold? It's been a

nightmare. I mean, I did get a brief
chuckle when she said I was 69th in

but other than that, it's been a slog.

So just walk away.

Who cares?

The thing is, I have a theory.

Carol hit the motherlode. She did a
mitzvah so huge it resulted in an

ticket upstairs.

We should have jumped on that grenade.

We blew it.

Exactly. And opportunities to do good
deeds, that giant, don't come around

often. But maybe there's a way to do a
bunch of little good deeds.

Like waiting on hold. And then
eventually they add up and boom!

Team Money's hitching a ride on the Suck
Off Express.

I want in.

I can help you wait on hold.

No, no, no, no. This is my tiny good
deed. You start helping, you're going to

take half my points. No, no, no, but you
letting me in and sharing it with me,

that feels like its own tiny good deed.

Oh, that's true.

Okay, fine. But no one else. Deal?

any buttons or say anything to hang up.
What are these options?

It's a rigged game.

These guys are good.

This whole property is so cute.

And the food is amazing.

Well, if you do have any complaints, I
can take them right to the chef.

My man, that mailbox magic was not just
imagined.

Enough tiny talk.

Bring a bookcase. They are getting to
it. This is conversational foreplay.

What is foreplay?

It's true.

He has no idea.

Do you guys know about these couples
trips that we organize every year?

Oh, my God. It's happening.

I don't know. I think we've seen
something on Instagram, maybe.

Well, this year we are organizing a
scavenger hunt on this beautiful island

called Bimini.

Yes, an island. I knew it.

Well, I don't know what your schedule is
like this winter, but we do have one

slot open if you guys think you can make
it.

We'll check.

It's very interesting.

Sounds fun.

Cool as a cucumber. I have rarely been
proud of you, but never more so than

Bookcase, now!

So, uh, shifting gears... Oh, I hate
this.

What ended up happening with the media
room? Is it all set up? Yeah, I mean,

it's not a professional job, but it
works.

There was a lot of light in the room, so
we just moved a bookcase in front of

the window.

Ooh. Is that that?

Yes. Bring it home, Samantha.

She's not great in terms of feng shui.

Okay.

Whatever.

Fine.

Okay, Sam, they heard you out. Samantha,
with Bimini in the balance, I do not

advise you to pursue this any further.

What? Keep pressing.

Here's the moment of truth, where she
chooses between her own prospects and

Thor's happiness. I'm rooting for Thor,
but also Sam.

Samantha, please.

So tell us more about this scavenger
hunt.

Get out!

She... did what she had to do.

This is so boring.

Before Sam, there would have at least
been something to do, but we have TV

I love TV.

TV's the best.

Why is a play so boring, but TV is so
good?

Look, we're like 50th in line.

Why don't we go upstairs and watch one
show and then get right back on hold?

Right. We get a little break, and then
we come down and we help Sam and collect

our suck -off points. Great. One show.

One show. Maybe two, if it's good. Or a
cliffhanger. You are now.

Plenty of time.

Vimini, here we come, babe.

Four very happy livings get to go on
precious trip while four miss out on

important moment of afterlife.

Thor, I tried to bring up moving the
bookshelf, but you saw? It was awkward.

sorry. I didn't want to push.

You have to push.

You think village others just agree to
jump off cliff?

No. Sometimes people need a little push.

I mean...

Need. He was a little strong. He could
have just, you know, let them turn 35.

Okay, so I just came back from Libby and
Garrett's. And man, are they singing

your praises. Oh, you are in,
girlfriend.

Maybe we should keep the momentum going
with like a little housewarming gift.

Cookies. Well, you better get over there
quickly because they also said they're

about to head back to the city for the
weekend.

Yes! That's amazing timing.

Sam! All you need to do is break into
Farnsworth's new bookcase for a wedding,

then move back. So new friends never
know.

Oh, a candle.

Uh, Jay, Pete said that Garrett and
Libby are going back to the city for the

weekend. No doubt with tales of our
normalness for the friend group. Right,

then Thor wants us to break into their
house and move their bookcase.

Okay, no, that's nuts.

You know I am doggedly protective of
your social advancement, but they will

gone anyway.

Plus, if you guys get caught, at least
that'd be exciting.

I mean, we got a couple girls sitting on
hold overnight. We need it.

If it helps, I happen to know that the
lock on the back door is broken over

there, which is probably why Mrs.
Farnsby's always telling people to come

back door.

Samantha, Thor's own father died before
Thor got married.

He was not there to see Thor's wedding.

It was a wonderful day, but touched.

was sadness.

His absence felt most strongly.

Thor says his own father wasn't able to
attend his wedding.

That's rough.

We drank mead and had great feast.

Table full.

Many, many ram's testicles.

But two testicles were missing.

Those of my father.

That was beautiful.

Sort of.

Jay, I... We're breaking into the
Farnsby's, aren't we?

Yep.

Yeah, Pete was right.

I'll take things Carol never said for
600, Alex.

She stole my slot in heaven, the final
insult.

Come on, this way.

Bet she's hanging out with Alex right
now, laughing at me.

Okay.

That is heavy.

Someone's muscles are pumped.

George the Puritan Ghost says hi.

Samantha, thank you so much for making
it possible for Father to attend

ceremony. Thor could see!

Grateful! So glad you could make it!

Oh, yeah, there is a glare on the TV. I
can see why they did that.

Okay, let's get you kids married.

The wedding's about to start.

And I shouldn't watch TV during the
wedding.

No, Jay. Okay, cool. I'll just be on my
phone.

Idea. The Golden Bachelor, but for young
people.

They have that.

It's called The Bachelor.

What? Then why are we watching these old
bags?

I'll be right back.

Whoa, aren't you going to watch The
Final Rose?

I feel like Gertrude's about to get
crushed.

Just got to stretch my legs.

Who am I kidding? I get with all these
ladies.

And stop!

now, Jay?

Great. It's an honor to be here.

Now it's time we all hear from the
father of the groom!

Thor, buddy, take it away!

Bjorn!

Chewie!

Congratulations!

Oh, I think that's it.

So beautiful, father!

It really was.

What was that?

Oh, no!

The renters are back.

George says Garrett and Libby are back.

What? No!

What happened?

Garrett and Libby are back! Pete, you
don't need to whisper.

Oh, right. Garrett and Libby are back!

Stay on the line. We're thirsty to help
you. The worst.

What are you doing?

I was just checking to make sure we had
time for another episode.

Oh, yeah, right.

You're trying to feel this good deed for
yourself so you can get all the... Back

off point.

Fine, okay, you're right. But I deserve
them. I've been here way longer than

you. So what? This whole thing was my
idea.

You're being selfish. Yes, you're being
selfish.

You are the next caller in line. You
nincompoops, what are you doing? We're

in line.

I'll alert Samantha.

The hell you will.

He's trying to get in on our good deed
so he gets one step closer to getting

sucked off.

Hold on.

You're only performing this kind act to
accrue credit towards an eventual

ascension?

It's genius.

And it's mine.

Samantha! Get back here! This is my good
deed.

I thought they went to the city.

Cool. Well, we'll just tell them that
when they catch us in their house.

Go out the window.

That's what the milkman did when my
husband almost caught us in 1952.

We're not going out the window. I'm just
saying that Trellis held Tommy.

And he was quite sturdy.

Milked at that body good.

Samantha!

They're saying you're next in line, Sam.
You've got to go pick up the phone.

Jay, Evercreek, we're next in the queue.

No. Estimated wait time, two minutes.

Hi there, Isaac.

What are you wearing?

Yeah. Safe thing, George.

Okay, you go out the window, and I'll
move the bookcase back.

I don't want to leave you.

Watch and learn, you two.

That's how you do in marriage.

I'll figure something out.

It's Evercreek, babe.

We can't let them win.

Traffic was crazy.

Absolutely.

Why don't we just stay in and watch a
movie tonight?

Right? Like, we have that whole media
room.

I like that.

So what movie do you want to watch?

I don't know. They have a ton of DVDs.

It's been a minute since I've been in
the closet.

They have swingers. I love this movie.

Oh, no.

It's not what they think it is. Let's
watch it.

All right.

No.

Not on my wedding day.

Well, isn't this a rare string of wins
for our young couple? You pulled off a

Viking wedding, you managed not to
alienate your new friends, and you are

to be bimini bound.

And don't forget, you successfully
canceled your water account, thanks to

And me. Mostly me.

Wait, why does Jay seem so upset?

Well, while Jay was trapped in the
closet, Garrett and Libby put on some

unfortunate viewing material.

You okay, babe?

The sounds.

I could still hear them.

You're lucky you just heard them. I saw
things.

Bad things.

I'm confused.

Why didn't Garrett and Libby just turn
off the septuagenarian erotica?

None of us could move.

So many knees popping.

I thought it was the Fourth of July.

Gross.

Who am I kidding? I'd watch that.