All language subtitles for 9449938DDC8A285215804F2C7362F96B_eng (LIBERAL ARTS)

A spell-check might
be nice on these essays.

Planning on taking
your boards again?

Love those extracurriculars.

Have you heard
about the meal plan?

Fantastic.

Where do you see
things going, you know,

after... after college?

Yours or mine?

Mine.

You can have it if
you want, though.

Is that a new shirt?

Yeah, it is.

Do you like it?

Don't ask me that.

Why?

Because it's not my job

to make you feel good
about yourself anymore.

That'll be all for you?

Anything else?

Oh, no, that's it.

That's a nice shirt.

Thanks.

Hello?

Jesse Fisher?

Yeah?

It's your favorite Communist.

Professor Peter Hoberg?

Screw you. I'm not a Communist.

How you doing?

Oh, you know.

Listen, I don't want to take
up too much of your time,

but here's why I'm calling.

Ever since I announced
that I was packing it in,

it's funny, but this whole
place has finally decided

that they don't really
hate me after all.

Now, I know Ohio is not
as glamorous as New York,

but they're throwing me
a retirement dinner thing

at the end of the month,

and they asked me to
invite any former students

that might want to lie and
say some nice things about me.

And since you're one of
the great liars that I know...

When is it?

Weekend of the 25th.

You know, check your schedule.

Checking now.

Looks like I'd have to shift
some things around, but yeah.

I'll be there.

Look at this.

How are you?

- Jesse.
- Yeah,

Hi, I'm David. This is Susan.

Peter warned you
that we'd be here?

He did. He did, yeah.

We're making him take
care of us while we're here.

How was your drive?

It was good, yeah.
Pleasant, actually.

Peter, Jesse's here!

So it's good to be back?

Yeah. Yeah, it's weird.

I drove up the hill.

I suddenly felt
like I was seeing

an ex-girlfriend or something.

- The one that got away.
- Exactly.

Zibby loves it here so much,

she gets sad to
come home on breaks.

Zibby?

Sorry. Elizabeth, our daughter.

She's a sophomore.

She's in the improv group.

We came up to see
one of her shows.

- How was it?
- Hilarious.

Filthy but hilarious.

So how do you guys know Peter?

He was my camp counselor.

No way.

He made us sing pro-union
songs around the campfire.

He never writes. He never calls.

Let me look at you.

Not bad.

Who's hungry?

- I'm hungry.
- Okay, let's go.

We've got reservations.

Oh, man, 37 years.

Can you believe it?

Native New Yorker
spends 37 years in a county

where the tallest
building's nine stories.

Oh, my.

How are you
feeling about it all?

- The retirement?
- Yeah.

Oh, I don't know.

Another year of
faculty meetings,

I'd throw myself off
that nine-story building.

So how's the
admissions game, buddy?

"How's the admissions
game, buddy?"

Is that Professor Fairfield?

Yeah.

She looks fantastic!

Professor!

What is she like? Is she cool?

She's definitely not warm.

I loved her British
Romantic lit class.

She was, like, the
best teacher I had here.

She was, like, the second
best teacher I had here.

Unbelievable.

You are unbelievable.

What?

Tell her how you feel.

I will.

Jesse, this is my
daughter, Zibby.

Hello.

Peter, should we follow you?

If you think that's wise.

And he's like, "I had it
up to here with America"

and its repressive,
regressive, fascist", whatever.

I sound like that?
That's how I sound?

You do. You sound like that.

And he gets up in
front of the class.

He says, "I just... I
couldn't take it anymore",

so I picked up my life,
and I moved to France".

This is being ludicrously
misreported, by the way.

So I raised my hand.

I said, "Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, Peter."

You're telling us you got
so angry at this country

"that you moved to France?"

And Peter says, "Yeah."

Well, I had a Fulbright".

Yeah, well, yeah, if I told you

what this putz was
like when he was here,

he'd run out of the room crying.

That's probably true.

Well, what were you
like when you were here?

I was very handsome, wasn't I?

Am I remembering that correctly?

No, I don't remember that.

But what I do remember
is you being a real jerk

to your parents on
graduation weekend.

He didn't want to leave.

It's true.

And I blamed my parents,
weirdly, all four of them.

Like it was their fault
college was ending.

Don't do that to us.

- No, I won't.
- She says that now.

So your parents told me
you're in the improv group?

Yeah.

How's that?

It's the best. I love it.

What do you love about it?

I think I love
how terrifying it is

and how you have to
say "yes" to everything.

Sorry, what does that mean?

It's, like, the only
rule of improv.

You can never say "no".

You have to say "yes"
and then add something.

Like... like, look.

Okay, Mom, you and I

have been wandering
in the desert for days,

and we're about to die, okay?

Okay, and I say, "Hand
me that lemonade".

So hand me that lemonade.

Jesus, Susan, hand her
the goddamn lemonade.

Never mind.

Jesse, hand me that lemonade.

Thank you.

Sweet, just the way I like it.

I nailed this.

It doesn't make sense.

We're in the desert.

I mean, where would
we get lemonade?

It's great seeing you guys.

So what was your major?

I was English with
a minor in history,

just to make sure I
was fully unemployable.

- Right.
- What about you?

Drama.

I mean, not officially yet,

'cause my dad's not
totally thrilled with the idea,

so maybe also art history?

I'm just happy you go
to class occasionally.

I thought maybe you just
improvised all day long.

Nope.

I mean, I do, I guess.

Have you ever
thought about that?

About what?

How everything in life
is basically improvised?

There's no script.

We're just making
this up as we go.

That's true.

So yeah.

Well, improv is deep, man.

Well, we're about to head out.

- Pleasure to meet you, Jesse.
- Yeah, yeah, you too.

Take care. Bye.

So I'll... I'll see you
around, I guess.

Yeah, yeah, see you around.-

It was nice to meet you.

Yeah, you too.

- See you later.
- Okay, bye.

Enjoy college.

You wearing a tie tonight?

What can you say, really?

People get up and say all
this great stuff about you.

You know, I'm thinking,

"Who in the hell are
they talking about?"

It's just, where
does the time go?

This seems impossible.

37 years.

37.

There comes a
time in a man's life

when it hurts to do the math.

You know, I worry that
I've been here so long

that I'll be lousy
being anyplace else.

Oh, well, I guess I'll
find out very shortly.

Hey, thanks for the chicken.

It was a little
cold, but still I...

Think nice thoughts
about me when I'm gone,

if you can.

No, they did it at Macalester.

I really think it
could work here.

Well, it sounds great.

I tell you, let's talk
about it on Monday.

Oh, sure.

Night, Jesse.

Yeah, good night.

It's a good idea, though.

It's a terrible idea.

Oh, what a disaster.

What... no, it was nice.

You're not half the
liar you used to be.

You know, it really
means a lot to me

that you came out for this.

How could I miss it?

You're the second
best teacher I had here.

I'm serious.

I'm gonna take off.

Well, I'll come with you.

Oh, no, no, no, you stay.

I want to be alone for a bit.

I feel you, man.

A lot of information in trees.

How's your night going?

Fine.

Is your name...

Ethan?

No. Why?

You look like an Ethan to me.

My name's not Ethan.

How cool would that have
been if that was your name

and I just, like...

Knew it?

Are you a student here?

No, but thank you
for thinking that.

You?

Nah, man.

I'm just here visiting
a buddy of mine.

But it's not a bad
place to kill a little time?

I'm Nat.

I'm Jesse.

Do you hear that music, Ethan?

It sounds like a celebration.

I say we do a
little sherlocking,

find out where it's coming
from and what's going on.

- No...
- Don't say no.

Fortune never smiles
on those who say no.

I would get you a beer, but
alcohol's for suckers, man.

Yeah.

Listen, Nat, this isn't
really my scene anymore.

I'm gonna...

Give yourself five minutes
to adapt, my brother.

Change is never easy.

Tell me this.

What are your
thoughts on crop circles?

I don't have any.

There's some seriously
weird shit going on, bro.

You think it's just a bunch
of drunk English guys

with planks and rope?

You're a fool.

Spend some time
with those patterns.

You can feel it.

Something's trying to
communicate with us.

It should be on the front
page of every paper every day.

Thanks.

I thought that was you.

How'd you end up here?

He made a friend.

Yeah, yeah, I... yeah.

Look at you.

You're, like, back in college.

Whee!

How does it feel?

Oh, this is Vanessa.

I'm Nat.-

Jesse's an alum.

We had brunch this morning.

I think my mom has
a little crush on him.

You went here?

I did, yeah.

When'd you graduate?

Oh, man, it was the '90s.

That was when we were born.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm old.

But you look good.

And you're overdressed.

That's better.

Why do I like this guy so much?

Because he's likable.

Hey, let's get you
guys some drinks.

Yeah, no, I think I'm
gonna... I'm gonna take off.

No, you should stay.

No, really, I should go.

- Do you drink coffee?
- Yeah.

What? That's crazy.

So does my friend here.

You two, tomorrow.

Shoop! Coffee.

Yeah, I could do
that. You want to?

I... yeah... yeah.

That'd be... that's great.

9:00 okay?

Oh, you're serious.

Is 11:30 okay?

Yeah, that works.

Can we talk?

Yeah. Yeah, sure,

See you tomorrow?

Yeah, yeah. See you then.

Hey, Vanessa.

Don't sweat that guy.

She only had eyes for you.

Good night, Nat.

Good night, Ethan.

Can I help you?

Sorry.

I just...

just the best book of all time.

I just like holding it, I guess.

Best book of all time?

Well, one of them, sure.

Have you ever noticed
how everyone around here

speaks in wild hyperbole?

Everything's the best.

Like, "He's the
best professor ever",

or, "This is the best
patty melt on the planet",

as if they've sampled
every possible variety

of professor and patty melt,

which is, as we know,
logistically impossible.

All right, do we have
enough time for that?

Am I super late?

No. You want a coffee?

No, I'll just drink yours.

You okay?

I don't know yet.

I smell like beer.
Do you smell that?

Yeah, actually, you do.

I... I need to
excuse myself just...

just for a...

Sorry about that.

Back there.

You walked away, and
I was just wondering

why I was being rude to someone
who loves the same writer I do.

And I don't have
an answer for that.

Okay, so yeah...

I'll just...

My grades tanked senior year.

That book was the only
thing I wanted to read.

You liking it?

Yeah.

It's my second time
reading it, actually.

That's impressive.

It's not short.

Yeah, I know.

You know, he said
the purpose of fiction

was to combat loneliness.

That's good.

I never heard that.

Yeah.

Well, on the other hand,

spending most of your
time with an 1,100-page book

tends to put a dent
in your social life.

Yeah.

Loneliness simultaneously
increased and decreased.

What, you guys know each other?

Yeah, we had Symbolic
Logic first semester.

Zibby.

Right. Dean,

I'm Jesse, by the way.

Interesting guy.

Yeah.

I can't believe he's
even back here.

Why? What do you mean?

He had a manic
episode last year.

Eventually, they
took him to a hospital

and, I don't know,
calmed him down, I guess.

He's supposed to be,
like, the smartest guy ever.

Everything okay?

Yeah, everything's great.

I puked.

That's gross.

Sorry, you did not
need to hear that.

Come on, let's... let's walk.

My parents really liked you.

That's nice.

I like them.

You're really lucky to
have parents like that.

Like what?

Like, I don't know.

Around, first of all.

Still together so they can
fret over you as a team.

Yeah, I guess.

I like them best when
they're not being so parental,

which is, like, 1% of the time.

Oh, I thought
of this great trick

for having them annoy me less.

Want to hear it?-

Okay, I decided
to treat my parents

like they're always drunk.

No, really, it works.

Any time they say something
irritating or offensive,

I'm just like, "Oh, I
can't get mad at them."

They're drunk.
It's not their fault".

And why should I take advice
from drunk people seriously?

That's great.

Do you like classical music?

Yeah, sure.

Okay, I took this music
survey class last year.

Oh, my God!

It totally changed my life.

I'm really happy I
ran into you last night.

Yeah, yeah, me too.

It's random.

Who was that guy?

What guy?

The... last night, that guy.

Oh, his name is Eric.

Eric.

Is Eric your fella?

No.

No.

You know, I think I like almost
everything about this place

but the dude situation.

Not great?

No one, like, dates.

Everyone's so
casual about it all.

Same as when I was here.

Yeah.

I guess there's part of me
that's a little old-fashioned.

Well, on behalf

of all current and
former 18-to 22-year-olds,

I'd like to apologize.

Forgive us.

Seriously.

We know not what we do.

I think one of the things

I loved the most
about being here

was the feeling that
anything was possible.

It's just infinite
choices ahead of you.

You'd get out of school,
and anything could happen.

And then you do get out, and...

life happens, you know?

Decisions get made.

And then all those many
choices you had in front of you

are no longer really there.

At a certain point,
you just got to go,

"Oh, I guess this is
how it's going down".

And there's just something
a little depressing about that.

Well, don't you think you're
romanticizing youth a bit much?

You know, 'cause it's
just as hard and annoying

to be young as it is to
be old, I'm assuming.

Not that you're old,
'cause, you know, you're not.

Look, I get the whole
"we're all equal" argument,

and it's kind of true, but
it's also kind of not true.

Like, okay, I feel different
now than I felt when I was here,

and I hate to break this
to you, but so will you.

So you're saying things suck?

I should prepare
myself for suckiness?

No, a liberal arts education
solves all your problems.

Thank God!

Worth every penny.

We should hug.

What?

I mean, we could keep talking,

but I think it would
be better if we hugged.

Come on.

- Who starts?
- I do.

Here we go.

God, so you were
here a long time ago.

- I mean...
- Enough, enough.

That's... I mean, I just
mean because I thought,

with the greenhouses...

Hey, before you go, I
thought you might like these,

'cause I don't really need
'em anymore and here.

Look at this one.

No?

Nah.

Oh, please,
that's a great shirt.

You know the trouble
I caused in this shirt?

I can only imagine.

You got no taste on
top of everything else.

Oh, my God, what
a beautiful shirt.

- Not giving it to you anyway.
- All right.

Oh, it feels great!

Hello?

Oh,

No, no, he's... he's still here.

Yeah, hold on.

Zibby.

Hello?

You haven't left yet.

- No.
- Good.

I need to see you before you go.

Will you meet me
at the bookstore?

Say yes.

Yes.

She's asking about a
book I recommended.

All right, I'm off.-

Be a gentleman.
Walk me to my car.

All right, all right.

Thanks for the shirts. I'll
get them next time, okay?

Yeah, you'll be on the
road, and you'll be saying,

"Oh, maybe I'll call him up".

Sorry, I don't want to
hold you up or anything,

but I...

I made this for you.

Burned it, whatever.

It's music from the survey class

I was telling you about.

Classical, baroque, opera.

This is great.

I know none of this.

Who says we always
have to be listening

to obscure indie bands, right?

Right.

So yeah, I don't know.

This is all music I never
thought I'd like or care about,

and this class just...

well, you know how you can
be told something so many times

and it's like, "Whatever",

and then you have
a great teacher

take you through it,

and suddenly it's
like, "Beethoven, ".

Yeah.

This is really great. Thank you.

I wish I had come
with something for you.

Well, you know
what you could do?

You could write me a letter.

I could do that.

Handwritten, I mean,

like with a pen or something.

Yeah, paper.

Maybe seal it with some red wax.

I could listen to
this while I'm writing.

Right, it'll be like
full-on 17th century.

Right, right.

So I don't have your address.

Oh, 108 is my P.O. Box,

and you can figure
out the rest, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I also... I put my number
on the inside of the case.

Yes, you did.

You know, in case you ever...

whatever.

Yeah, right.

- Well...
- Well...

Yeah.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Professor Fairfield.

Jesse Fisher.

I...

I took your British
Romantic literature class

when I was here as a student.

And?

And I loved it.

Great.

Hey, Dean.

I know it's bad for you.

Just quit when you
graduate, like everyone else.

Sweet ride.

You jerk.

It's a rental.

I'm not the best at flying.

I can understand that.

Where you headed?

Back to my dorm.

Get in. I'll give you a lift.

So you went here, right?

I did.

You liked it?

A lot.

I mean, you block out
the bad memories...

writing a senior
thesis, February.

Yeah, February here sucks.

Yeah, it's horrible.

So other than February,
things are good for you here?

I wouldn't say that.

You want to... you can
tell me about it if you want.

Well it's not exactly a secret.

Last year, I kind of
lost my mind a bit.

I don't really
remember much of it,

but apparently I got up to
some pretty amusing antics.

So now they've got me
on this pretty heavy stuff,

which I guess
allows me to function,

but it also makes
everything seem underwater,

which is not as
pleasant as it sounds.

Why'd you come back?

My mom's a nurse.

She raised me on her own.

I got a full ride.

She's...

so proud I'm here.

Thanks for the lift.

"Dear Zibby, I can't
thank you enough"

for introducing
me to this music.

Beyond just genuinely loving it,

I feel it's quietly altering my
feeling about New York City,

with which I've always had

a slightly conflicted
relationship.

I've found that if you replace
the horns and the shouting

with, say, Schubert or Telemann,

the city becomes
unbearably beautiful.

After years of thinly disguised
rage on both our parts,

it's like the music has
mediated a truce between us.

Some early favorites.

Massenet's Meditation.

If a more beautiful piece of
music has ever been composed,

I don't know it.

That Brandenburg
concerto is no joke,

and I echo your sentiment
regarding Beethoven.

I have no idea

what the Vivaldi piece from
Giustino is actually about,

but to me, it
suggests deception,

some kind of elegant
double-crossing.

It makes me feel
like I'm a double agent

knee deep in some
kind of sexy espionage.

I've decided the Wagner
overture you included

should come with
a warning label.

According to some
quick online research,

the opera deals
with the struggle

between sacred and profane love,

which is arguably the
only struggle there is.

The other day, I was
crossing the street,

lost in my head about something,

a not uncommon state of affairs.

I was listening to the overture,

and as the music began to swell,

I suddenly realized that I
had hands and legs and a torso

and that I was surrounded
by people and cars.

It's hard to explain
exactly what happened.

But I felt in that
moment that the divine,

however we may choose
to define such a thing,

surely dwells as much in
the concrete and taxicabs

as it does in the rivers,
lakes, and mountains.

Grace, I realized, is neither
time-nor place-dependent.

All we need is the
right soundtrack.

I suppose this new
infusion of music in my life is,

at the very least,
making me reconsider

"my hostility to
dead, white males".

"And I've you
to thank for that."

How's things, by the way?

"Your friend, Jesse Fisher".

Jesse, things is good.

So happy you're
loving the music.

I felt my whole
life got an upgrade

when I took that class.

The thing that floors me most

is that human beings
wrote that music.

Are people writing
music like that nowadays?

If they are, I don't
know about it.

I hope you've fallen
in love with the piece

from Cosi fan tutte.

I find that when I listen
to it, for some reason,

everyone I see becomes
instantly more attractive.

"Please experiment with
it and get back to me".

"Elizabeth, you were right
about the Mozart piece."

It somehow made everyone
in New York look like

a viable romantic partner.

I can't escape it any longer.

I think I like opera.

You are never to
tell anyone this, ever.

"Seriously".

"Your opera secret
is safe with me."

I've been relistening
to the music

after each of your letters.

I like hearing your take
and then revisiting them.

And even though
Pennsylvania stands between us,

knowing we're hearing
the same sounds

makes me feel you
are not all that far away.

If I haven't been clear
about this, I miss you.

Don't really know why.

I barely know you.

By the way, handwritten letters?

Greatest thing in the world.

"Keep them coming".

"You asked why music like
this isn't being written today."

I wonder if these composers
were expressing things musically

"that are too large for
our current psychic state..."

"Anyway, all is fine here.

College continues
colleging along..."

"Massenet's
Meditation, for instance,"

and I worry that
my nervous system

"is ill-equipped to contain
such immensity of feeling".

"I bet if we went
here at the same time,

we'd have been great friends".

"Will this music be
the death of me?"

If so, you'll have blood
on your hands, Elizabeth.

"Can you deal with that?"

"Jesse, as much as
I love these letters,"

I'd like to see you again.

The sooner, the better.

So come back here and see me.

The dudes here continue
to be 18 to 22 years old,

and they continue
to act their age.

I'd like a gentleman caller,
and I'd like him to be you.

"Ever yours, Zibby".

"Dear Elizabeth, I've decided
to take you up on your offer."

I'll be getting in on the
14th and staying at the inn,

but I will be available for
walks, strolls, saunters,

ambles, and promenades.

Looking forward to it.

"Jesse Fisher".

So, Bob...

I've been asking myself a
lot of tough questions lately.

Everybody knows I
made a whole stink

about leaving this place,
you know, how it's time...

How if you'd look back,

you'd turn into
a pillar of salt.

Yeah, all that. That's...

I think I may have
spoken too soon.

I think... I think I still got a
little gas in the tank is all.

I just...

Well, Peter, you have no
bigger fan around here than me.

Thank you.

When you announced your plans,
we were all sad to see you go,

but you insisted
that it was time.

Right, which I thought it was.

We hired someone,

young guy out of UVA.

Very impressive candidate.

He was our first
choice, actually.

We didn't think we
would get him, but we did.

You said you wanted
nothing to do with the search.

Right, right. No, I...

I just...

I just didn't think it
would move so fast.

Well, there was unanimous
enthusiasm for the candidate,

so things just moved
along faster than normal.

Bob.

Give me this one.

Peter, we can't.

The department has
spent thousands of dollars

on this search.

He's turned down other offers.

You know what goes
into this sort of thing.

I hired you, Bob.

You don't have to
tell me how this w...

And let me tell you,

there was not unanimous
enthusiasm for you back then.

It took a lot of
arm-twisting on my part

to get people to come around.

And now, 20 years
later, the only reason

that you're the chairman
of this goddamn department

is 'cause I loathe politics!

And you, for reasons which
I cannot fathom, do not.

In fact, you seem to
have a real taste for it.

I'm asking...

I'm asking a favor.

Listen.

Just give me this
one, Bob, okay?

I need three more years.

I'm sorry.

There's nothing I can do.

Oh,

Jesse, you remember
Vanessa, right?

- Yeah, - You're back.

Yeah.

So I should...

yeah, I got some stuff to do.

So this is your room.

Yeah. Fancy?

Yeah.

Forgot how small these are.

Good training for
living in New York.

So are you gonna
see Professor Hoberg

while you're here?

You know, probably not.

And, you know, if
you... if you run into him,

maybe don't
mention that I'm here.

Okay.

Do you want to sit?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I should tell you,

I feel a little weird
about being here.

Why? Don't.

Well, I don't know
if you know this,

but I'm a few years
older than you.

You are?

Just a few, yeah,

and I'm not
necessarily saying...

I don't want to get
ahead of myself here.

It's just...

Oh, wait, sorry.

You... did you think this
was, like, a romantic thing?

Just kidding.

Oh, my...

Come here.

Try not to overthink
things, okay?

You're talking to the wrong guy.

Well, look.

We connect really
well, don't you think?

We do, yeah.

I just can't figure out if it's
because you're advanced

or because I'm stunted.

It's because I'm advanced.

Maybe.

But I'm also a little stunted.

Look, I want to take
things slowly, okay?

Yeah,

Me too. Me too.

But I would like to kiss you

on your forehead.

Can I kiss you on your forehead?

Say yes.

Yes.

And your chin?

May I kiss your chin?

Sorry. Hi, sorry.

Just need to grab something.

Roommates.

Can we... are you hungry?

I could eat.

Yeah?

Maybe we could go into
town and grab something?

That'll take too long.

I have class at 2:00.

But I know a place that's
good and even closer.

Hey, Dean.

You get a job here?

I wish.

Hey, I seem to
have lost my friend.

You mind if I...

What are you working on?

Yeah, it's this...

novel.

Good for you.

I guess.

You happy with it?

Not really.

How you been? Any better?

No.

I kind of just wish
this would all be over

as soon as possible.

Why did you love
it here so much?

It's the only time you
get to do this, you know?

You get to sit around
and read books all day,

have really great
conversations about ideas.

People out in the world,
they're not really doing that.

Think about it.

You could go up to everyone
here and say, "I'm a poet",

and no one will
punch you in the face.

I mean, that's something.

Yeah.

I get that.

I just can't get around the fact

that I'm, like,
aggressively unhappy here.

Jesse.

Jesse!

That's my number, if
you ever want to talk.

Please tell me
this is Vanessa's.

Nope, that's mine.

Wait, you actually read this?

Yeah.

All of it?

Yep.

Unironically?

Very sincerely.

What is it with you
girls and vampires?

What's it about?

Vampires.

No, what's it about?

Vampires.

I don't understand. Is it good?

No.

I mean, yeah. But no.

Well, then why read it?

'Cause I like it.

That's no reason
to read something.

Why else would
you read something?

Seriously.

Many amazing books in the world.

Why would you read this?

Okay, I hate this conversation.

Can we stop?

Wait, this is a trilogy, right?

I'm afraid to answer that.

You've read three of these?

Have you ever read one of them?

What do you think?

How can you hate something
if you've never read it?

I mean, isn't that like what
repressive regimes do?

You want to burn
books you don't like?

You're right. You know
what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna read
this book, all of it.

And then we can discuss it.

- Right now?
- Yeah, why not?

I mean, how long
can it take, really?

This is great, a
little book club.

Seriously?

Yup.

See ya soon.

Oh, no, this isn't what it...

I'm reading it as a dare.

It's a bet, actually.

I loved your class!

Should I start?

Please.

I liked it.

It was fun and stupid.

And it passed the time.

And it's not Tolstoy, but
it's also not television.

And it made me happy.

Now you.

Thank you.

This...

is the worst book

ever written

in English.

So there are worse books
written in other languages?

Probably not,

unless this book is translated
into other languages.

Okay, we really...

we don't need to do this.

No, please, let's.

I need to know how
you read these...

I guess you call
them sentences...

close the book,
and feel anything

other than offended and sad?

Well, millions
of people like it.

So when millions of
people like something,

that means it's good?

No, it means millions
of people like it.

These books make people happy.

We don't always have to
be thinking about poli-sci

or reading Chaucer,
which, by the way, I hated.

You're not supposed to like it.

But then why read it?

You love college so much, right?

Isn't it all about understanding
different points of view?

It's also about
developing taste.

That was snobby. You're a snob.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.

You think it's
cool to hate things.

And it's not. It's boring.

Talk about what you love,

and keep quiet
about what you don't.

Look, I know how this
sounds, but trust me.

This is a big deal, okay?

This country is in bad shape,

and it has to do,
in large part, I think,

with people liking things
that are very, very bad.

But according to you.

Why are you the one who gets
to decide what's good and bad?

And do you only want
to surround yourself

with people who've read
the same books as you?

I guess we're gonna have to
move on to a specific example...

Where are you?

What do you mean?

I mean, you are somewhere,

but it's not here.

No, I'm... I'm here.

So why are we
spending all our time

having a stupid
argument about a book?

Hey, Peter.

Zibby.

Peter.

Peter.

What the hell are
you doing here?

I don't know.

You know how old I am?

No, how old are you?

It's none of your
goddamn business.

Do you know how
old I feel like I am?

19.

Since I was 19, I
have never felt not 19.

But I shave my face,
and I look in the mirror,

and I'm forced to say,

"This is not a 19-year-old
staring back at me".

Teaching here all these years,

I've had to be very
clear with myself

that even though I'm
surrounded by 19-year-olds

and I may have felt 19,

I'm not 19 anymore.

You follow me?

Yeah.

Nobody feels like an adult.

It's the world's dirty secret.

How perfect is the universe?

You're still here?

Lucky for you,

'cause you look like
you could use a friend.

Did you know there's so many
preservatives in the food we eat

that they're finding
it's taking longer

for our bodies to
decompose once we die?

No way. Really?

Preservatives,
man. It's messed up.

Want some good news?

Please.

Caterpillars... give me my hat.

They're just
scooting along, right,

being caterpillars.

At some point, these cells
show up called imaginal cells.

Scientists don't know
where they come from

or why they appear,

but these imaginal cells
show up inside the caterpillar

and say, "Get
psyched, caterpillar!"

It's butterfly-turning-into
time".

And what do all the
other caterpillar cells do

when these imaginal
cells show up?

I have no idea.

They attack 'em!

Try to kill 'em!

They're like, "Screw
you, imaginal cells."

We're happy being a caterpillar.

"Get lost!"

But eventually, the
imaginal cells keep growing

and overtake the
destiny of the caterpillar

and will it into this cocoon.

And then guess
what happens next.

The caterpillar
turns into a butterfly.

The caterpillar
turns into a butterfly.

That's awesome.

I know it is!

Yeah, that's good.

And that is why there
is no reason to be afraid,

because everything is

Yeah, I don't know
if I believe that.

It has to be true.

There can be no other way.

You know, I'm not
even sure if you're real.

I mean, seriously.

It's all true, brother.

Whatever you believe.

What is that?

What are you drinking?

H to the 2 to the O.

You should have some.

Got to stay hydrated.

All right.

Oh, thanks.

You with me, bro?

Yeah.

I like you, Nat.

Thanks for being my friend.

Easiest thing in the world.

I enjoyed this.

I'm off.

You go get her, man.

Be love, man.

Be love!

You seem happy.

I am.

What happened?

I don't know.

Something.

Can I tell you some things?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Okay, well, except
for the book thing,

which was genuinely
super annoying,

I... I feel really
good about you.

It's been a while since I
felt that way about someone.

And I like it.

Yeah, me too.

I want you to stay
here with me tonight.

You have a roommate.

She's sleeping elsewhere.

So will you stay here?

Yes.

Good.

But I have to tell
you something.

This... it would be my...

first time.

But I want to.

With you.

I have to...

hold on.

I'll... I'll be back
in a second, okay?

I should never
have told you that.

No, no, it's good.

I'm... I'm glad you did.

So is that a problem?

Well, yeah, it is.

Why?

Okay, well, first
of all, I'm 35.

- You don't look it.
- Thank you.

Plus, it doesn't bother me.

Well, it bothers me.

Well, it shouldn't.

Age is a stupid
thing to obsess over.

What if reincarnation is real?

Think about that.

What if I'm, like, thousands
of years older than you?

Okay, that's not really
a sound argument.

Why not?

Because it's like saying,

"What if reality
is all an illusion?"

Then there are no
consequences to anything.

We're completely off the hook.

And I believe in consequences.

No, you believe in guilt.

Maybe.

But guilt before we
act is called morality.

Why did you come back here?

To see you, but I
didn't know that you...

Why should that matter?

I mean, isn't it, I
don't know, flattering?

Listen.

Elizabeth.

Sex is really complicated, okay?

I didn't quite understand
that when I was younger,

but I do now.

Okay, look, I didn't sign
one of those contracts

when I was in high school, okay?

I'm not a prude or whatever.

It's just, I never met
anyone that I trusted

or even liked enough

until now.

I can't.

Are you not attracted to me?

No. I mean, yes, I am.

It's just,

I also care about you
a lot already, somehow.

So essentially,

you don't want to sleep with me

because you like and
respect me too much.

Basically.

Yeah.

That's, like, the
saddest thing ever.

Look, I want to be in your life.

I do.

Yeah, I already have
an older brother, okay?

And I don't need some mentor.

I can't just say
yes to everything.

Elizabeth.

Stop calling me that.

What?

No one calls me that.

You need to leave right now.

I'm really upset,
and you need to go.

Get out!

Well, well, well.

Now I remember you.

You do?

Not really.

Rough day?

Yeah.

"Mock on. Mock on."

'Tis all in vain.

You throw the sand
against the wind,

"and the wind
blows it back again".

Blake.

A-plus.

French fries.

I was just about
to order a basket.

Can you get me a beer?

Yeah, have mine.

Of course, I'm thrilled.

Newly minted PhD.

I'm feeling very fancy

and officially teaching
Ode on a Grecian Urn

for the first time.

It's like heaven, right?

Right. Right, right, right.

And I decide to
be a little dramatic.

I'm really gonna go for it

and just recite the
whole thing out loud.

What the hell, right?

Sure.

And it's going very
well, if I do say so myself.

And as I reach the
immortal final lines

of one of the great poems
ever written in English,

I hear myself say the following:

"Beauth is trudy, trudy beauth".

"That is all ye know on
Earth and all ye need know".

That is great.

Great story.

When did you fall
for the Romantics?

Was it, like...
I'm just curious,

but was it in college
or grad school?

'Cause I knew almost
nothing about those guys

before your class.

Your class.

I can gush, right?

I mean, I still think about it.

It's just...

What?

You're very enthusiastic.

I guess.

I have a car.

I would like for you
to get in it with me,

and I would like to
drive us somewhere.

Where?

Don't worry about the fries.

They know me here.

Yo, Eric, what's up?

Oh, hey, man.

Okay, you got to go.

What?

Out. Go, now.

Are you serious?

Yep.

Yeah, I don't have to
stay the night or anything,

but could I... could I at
least catch my breath?

Sure.

How long do you
think that'll be?

- What?
- No, no.

It's just funny to
me all of a sudden.

What about it is amusing to you?

Your post-coital cigarette,
for one, is amusing to me.

What, you never smoked?

- No, I did.
- But you quit.

- Yeah.
- Pussy.

Okay, you are the
same Judith Fairfield

I took British Romantic
literature from?

"From whom I took
British Romantic literature",

and yes, that's me.

But just because we screwed,
don't assume we're suddenly...

what is it you kids
say nowadays?

BFFs?

Yeah, that's not really...

I mean, what do we really
know about each other?

You're a nonsmoker.
Congratulations.

You're going to
live to be a hundred.

But what does it matter
if your life is joyless?

And it will be. Trust me.

What's happening here?

You're getting your
clothes and you're leaving,

and I'm going to take an Ambien.

No, I meant, what is hap...

I mean, seriously.

You weren't thinking
we were gonna cuddle

the rest of the night as
I read you Wordsworth?

Not anymore.

Good.

I've taught at this
school for over 20 years.

I've seen the emergence of
your kind like an infection...

all these effete,
overarticulate man-boys

who never learned to toughen up.

Don't be one of them.

Go work with your hands.

Build something.

Punch someone in the face.

Too bad Norman Mailer's dead.

You guys would have
been perfect for each other.

Shall I count to ten?

Wait, just, can...

hold on just one second, okay?

You don't seem very happy.

Your powers of
deduction are stunning.

You must have gone
to a very good college.

I'm just confused how...

I mean, you're a
tenured professor

in one of the most prestigious
English departments

in the country.

That's not fulfilling?

Sit through a faculty meeting
at a liberal arts college,

Mr. Young Person.

I assure you, you will
lose all faith in humanity.

Okay, but what
about the classroom?

There had to have
been some joy there.

I mean, you were
such a good teacher.

Thank you.

I like to teach.

I used to love it.

What happened?

Life happened.

Okay, I'm gonna
need a little bit more.

Well, that's all
you're gonna get.

Unlike you, I'm not
from the "let me tell you"

"every sick, sordid detail
of my life" generation.

I value discretion.

I loathe self-pity.

So let's just leave it at this:

People are disappointing.

Yeah, it's just,
I would think...

- Don't get comfortable.
- Sorry.

I would just think

that spending so much
time with those poems

would make you more, you
know, optimistic and hopeful.

Nonsense.

They were miserable men

who were granted a few
moments of transcendence,

and they had the
talent and foresight

to grab pen and
paper and write it down.

Byron was probably
the happiest of the lot,

only because he put
his dick in everything.

This is the saddest
evening of my life.

Get used to it.

My advice to you is this:

Put some armor around
that gooey little heart of yours.

Well, at least I
appreciate the irony.

I just had the least
romantic night of my life

with a Romantics professor.

For what it's worth,

I meant everything I
said about your class.

It opened something in me,

and I'm grateful for it.

And if my heart is gooey,

you're at least partially
responsible for that.

So you're still
uninspired by admissions.

Yeah, pretty much.

No little Jesse
Fishers out there?

Well, if there are,
I'm not meeting them.

Well, maybe you're just
not recognizing them.

Anyway,

I do appreciate you coming by.

I really do.

It's great to see
you one last time

before I get the
hell out of here.

You feeling any
better about things?

Well,

I tried to turn the clock back.

It doesn't work.

No, it doesn't.

Now I just...

I keep waiting to feel
more resolve somehow.

What if I'm like one
of those prisoners

that gets paroled

and finds he can't
handle life on the outside

so he commits a petty crime

so he can go back
to what he knows?

You think this
place is a prison?

Well, any place you
don't leave is a prison.

Well, whatever.

Okay.

You know why you're my second
favorite professor of all time?

I have no idea.

Because you had us read
books by authors you hated.

Feel good about
what you did here.

Thank you.

Get in your car now,
and leave me be.

"Dear Zibby, even
after all these months,"

I'm still half-expecting
a letter from you

to be sitting in my mailbox.

I'm sure you have little left
to say to me at this point,

but your letters are
very much missed.

I know I hurt
you, and I'm sorry.

Any bone-headed moves I made

were born of confusion
and not malice.

That said, I've been
feeling lately the stirrings

of something I can
only call growth.

It's a tribute of sorts to say
that someone 16 years my junior

helped me finally
start acting my age.

Awise man in a red
hat once told me,

'Everything is okay'.

I didn't believe him then,

"but for some
reason, I'm starting to".

Sorry, we're closed!

Are you here for this?

I always notice you reading
it when you're in here.

Yeah.

Any bookstore I'm
in, I have to read the...

Last three pages.

I know. They're devastating.

Yeah.

I'm Jesse.

I'm Ana.

I love books.

I do in, like, the
dorkiest way possible.

Oh, me too.

It's a problem.

Like, I love trees 'cause
they give us books.

It's super cool of the
trees to do that, right?

I'm actually...

this is weird.

I'm actually
trying to read less.

Why?

I felt like I wasn't
watching enough television.

No, I just... I started to
feel like reading about life

was taking time away
from actually living life,

so I'm trying to, like,
accept invitations to things,

say "hi" to the
world a little more.

That sounds scary.

It's going well?

It's...

Most of the time when I'm out,

I keep thinking I'd
be so much happier

in bed with a book,

and that makes me
feel not super cool.

I still read tons.

I just feel like I'm more
aware of a book's limitations.

Does that make sense?

Yeah, totally.

How am I doing here?

What? Here in this conversation?

Yeah.

Very well. You are doing great.

So you maybe want to
get away from these books

and walk somewhere?

Yeah,

- Really?
- Sure, let's do it.

Great. Great.

And feel free to invite
your husband or boyfriend.

They're both pretty
busy right now, so...

Probably just be us, then.

Yeah. Just us.

Hello.

Oh,

It's Dean.

Franzen? We like
the same writer.

Right, Dean, what's up?

You gave me your number,
and you told me to call you.

Yeah. No, it's good
to hear from you.

How are you doing?

I'm pretty good, yeah.

Things...

I've been...

Dean?

I just took a bunch of pills.

What?

I just took a lot of pills.

How many?

I don't know.

I'm really scared.

- Where are you?
- In my dorm.

Stay... stay there, okay?

Stay right there.

Okay, yeah, just stay
ri... I'm gonna make a call,

and I'm gonna call...

I need you to stay by
the phone, though, okay?

Dean?

Miss Hanson to
reception area, please.

Miss Hanson.

Hey, man.

How you feeling?

Kind of ridiculous.

You didn't have to
drive all the way out here.

I flew, you bastard.

Thanks.

For picking up the phone.

I didn't know who else to call.

Can I make a suggestion?

Yeah.

Stop reading this.

Why?

Because he killed himself,
and you're not gonna do that.

You need to read something else.

Listen, don't be a
genius who dies young.

Be one who dies old.

Being old is cool.

Grow old and die old.

It's a better arc.

Listen to me, man.

This right now, all
this stuff you're feeling,

this is a footnote, okay?

You're gonna graduate,

and you're gonna
get out in the world

and stumble into
something like contentment.

I know it.

Is that how it's been for you?

Hell, no.

But some days are
all right, you know?

Some days are like a gift,

and some days suck.

But all of that's

So I'm taking you
off post-modernists.

What are you prescribing?

There are these vampire books.

The kids love 'em.

Trust me, they will empty
your mind completely.

Why are you being so nice to me?

You flew all the way
back here to see me,

and we had, like,
two conversations.

I have a soft spot
for good readers.

They're hard to find these days.

I really did miss you.

You know, we had
this thing happening,

and it was so exciting,
and then you were just gone.

But it's okay now.

I get it.

I sometimes feel like I'm
looking down on myself,

like there's this
older, wiser me

watching over this
19-year-old rough draft

who's full of all this potential

but has to live more

to catch up with that
other self somehow.

And...

I know I'll get there.

It's just sometimes I think

I want to rush the
process, you know?

And I don't know.

Maybe... maybe I thought
you were some sort of shortcut.

Does that make any sense?

If I wrote you, I would be like,

"This is the best
rough draft ever".

Seriously?

Roommates.

Well, I should get
back to adulthood.

Yeah.

See you there soon, I guess.

Bye, Zibby.

Bye, Jesse.

You're so beautiful
and fascinating

and age-appropriate.

What?

Oh, nothing.

Look, you're getting wise.

I'm getting old.

Not the same thing. I
say you're getting wise.

You worry about getting old?

I think being old's gonna be

It's just the getting there
that kicks your ass, you know?

You're gonna be a great old guy.

Really?

I feel like that's
the nicest thing

anyone's ever said to me.

Unless it's a criticism,

like, "You're already
judgmental and racist."

You're gonna be
a great old guy".

No, I mean you'll
wear baggy pants,

and you'll have a little belly.

And when you want more
coffee, you'll say to the waitress,

"Could you warm
this up for me, dear?"

You're right.

I will say that.

I think you're gonna be
a great old person too.

Thanks.

I want to be an old lady with
long, gray hair in a ponytail.

I can see it.

You're still foxy.
You still got it.

That's what they're
gonna say about you.

"She's still got it".

They're saying it now.

And I want a really,
really wrinkly face.

A small house,
maybe by some water.

I think getting old
could be really nice.