All language subtitles for New Tricks S05E06 Magic Majestic.DVDRip.NonHI.en.ACORN

Whoa!

Ugh!

Shit!

You bleedin' idiot! You
could have killed the pair of us!

You could have
killed me, you moron!

- What are you talking about?
- Take your hands off me.

Mr. bleeding Magoo. You
don't belong on the road.

That's rich, coming
from you, you little...

Eh!

What did you say?

It was my right of way!

Oh! King of the jungle reckons
I'm not up to it, then, does he?

Not content with practically
ripping the bonnet off my car,

he's now questioning
my proficiency as a driver!

Proud of yourself, are you?

Taking the piss out
of the handicapped?

Oh, had a little accident
downstairs, have we?

Shock too much for you, were it?

- I'd leave it if I were...
- Toothless old git!

♪ It's all right, it's okay ♪

♪ Doesn't really matter
if you're old and gray ♪

♪ It's all right, I
say it's okay ♪

♪ Listen to what I say ♪

♪ It's all right, doing fine ♪

♪ Doesn't really matter
if the sun don't shine ♪

♪ It's all right, I
say it's okay ♪

♪ We're getting to
the end of the day ♪

Subtitling made
possible by Acorn Media

Katie Briers.

Recorded back in '98
for magician Billy Carse's

television series
"Magic Majestic."

Oh, Billy Carse. I remember him.

Mind you, I'm going
back 30 years now.

"I got eyes in the
back of my head."

Nice of you to fit us in, Gerry.

I was getting the
bleedin' coffee.

Twice!

Inside job, was it?

Cappuccino, actually.

Do you want a little a sniff?

No, thank you.

The reason I'm
wearing this coffee

is 'cause some pillock

tried to take the front
end of me car off.

- What?
- Then he has a go at me.

Shut up, Gerry. Go on, Brian.

Thank you.

Briers was one of four
white-collar subjects

for one of Carse's
experiments in illusion.

They were all hypnotized
in a London hotel

and then flown out
to the back of beyond

where they found
themselves, well...

- Some kind of war game, innit?
- Yeah.

Only that evening,

Katie Briers went home and
murdered her husband, Raymond,

with a kitchen knife.

Aaah!

Found a few hours
later by a friend

with the knife
still in her hand.

Three weeks married.

March 2000, Briers
was acquitted of murder.

The show was canceled,
but there were no charges...

Although they did try and
mount a manslaughter case

against the show's
producer, one Lulu Quester.

Apparently, Katie
Briers had been suffering

from a recent bout of depression

which the show's producer
should have picked up on.

But the judge threw it out.

But what about the
magician, Billy Carse?

Like I said. No charges.

British courts have always
been loathe to find guilty

against so-called
magicians in cases like this.

You can hardly
blame them for that.

The only law on the statute
book is some licensing act

which dates back to 1952.

Yeah, but he's
got a point, Brian,

I mean, if this Katie Briers

put herself up for
it in the first place.

Oh, I see. Asking
for it, was she?

Do you know what, Gerry?

There's a middle-aged
bloke in Taunton

who was regressed
back to his childhood.

Years later, he can't step
outside his own front door

without adult supervision.

He still acts and thinks
like he's eight years old.

Him and half the
male population.

So, what makes you think
we'll get lucky this time?

Because we now have a precedent.

Yeah, 2001. A couple of
years after the Briers case.

A mother of six fell into
a suicidal depression

after going a couple of rounds
with another stage hypnotist.

Only this time the High
Court awarded her damages.

It was a landmark ruling.

Which opens up a possible charge

against Raymond
Briers' real killer.

Oh. You mean Billy Carse?

No. Too late for him anyway.

After the Briers killing, Carse
took himself off to Bucharest.

He'd seen Norman Wisdom
making a fortune out in Albania

and thought he'd try his
luck with the Romanians.

But Billy lost his touch.

He was found dead in his
Bucharest flat last Boxing Day.

Massive alcohol
and heroin overdose,

according to the
coroner's report.

So, what's the case?

Excuse me?

Well, if Billy Carse
is six feet under,

who are we supposed to be after?

You see, I don't
think Billy Carse

had anything to do with this.

- Eh?
- I'll show you.

Come on. Get your
coats. We're late. Come on.

We're gonna have
to go by my place.

I've got to change.

How did Brian get
ahold of this case?

Apparently Katie Briers
phoned the switchboard,

they put it through
here, Brian picked it up,

and he hasn't been
able to let go of it since.

He claims there's
fresh evidence.

What's Strickland
say about all this?

Not a lot. He's on a
golfing holiday in La Manga.

- Uh-huh.
- How about this for a theory?

Katie Briers doesn't
take to marriage,

loses her head,
murders her husband,

and is lucky enough
to get away with it.

Well, you can tell her
that yourself. Come on.

Shall we show them the e-mails?

Oh. Yeah.

Here.

Yeah, Katie's received
some unwanted spam.

Unsolicited e-mails from a
character by the name of Merlin.

Yeah, um, every
morning and every night.

Be going on four months now.

Since mid-January.

Two weeks after Billy
was pronounced dead.

"Billy Carse couldn't
fight for himself.

You must fight for him."

"The real killer is walking
free, and Merlin can prove it."

Who is this joker?

Well, we don't know.

There are dozens of Merlins
out there in the blogosphere.

You tried changing
your e-mail address?

Only about a hundred times.

But he always seems
to find me out, you know?

I just thought if
this guy Merlin,

if... if he knows something...

You, uh...

You don't believe me, do you?

What do you think this is,
some kind of, what, stunt?

You want to know
what the worst thing is?

There are times when I-I
don't even believe it myself.

- Katie.
- No, no.

I mean, that whole day,
it's a complete blank,

so how do I know
I never killed him?

I mean, me, the real me,
not some puppet on a string.

Me!

'Cause God knows I've
always had a temper on me.

I-I've got nae hand
brake, my mother says.

But...

I just... I want...
I need to know.

Guilty or not.

Is that... Is that so
very weird to you?

That went well.

Yeah, thanks, Jack.
Glad to have you back.

Oh, come on, Brian.

You've got to be impartial.
You know that as well as I do.

Impartial, granted. But
blind bloody ignorant?

- Brian.
- Yes, I know.

The woman is in bits,

but grief alone is not
gonna swing a jury.

We've got Merlin. A new witness.

A few empty claims. He
doesn't even name a suspect.

There.

There's your suspect.

"The real killer...
Brandon Skye."

Who's Brandon Skye?

The man who stole Billy's crown.

The so-called messiah
of modern magic.

TV star.

Psychopath.

Pioneer of NLP.

Neuro-linguistic programming.

It's a kind of
software for the brain.

It was developed by a
couple of overheated shrinks

back in the '80s.

Now, Brandon wove
that into his magic.

Cooked up new ways to
hypnotize and influence his subjects.

So, what's the connection

between this Brandon
Skye and Billy Carse?

Well, he worked
for Billy back in '95.

'95? That's four years
before Briers was killed.

Well, maybe it took four
years for him to become the...

The magician that could
pull off this kind of stunt.

Where's Skye now?

He's on a world tour.

Las Vegas.

Okay. Let's talk to him.

We going to Vegas?!

Ah, Billy Carse.

Yes, I knew him briefly.

And, uh, no, we weren't
exactly blood brothers.

Why was that?

Looking in different
directions, you might say.

- What's the weather doing?
- The weather?

Mm. It's pushing 90 out here.

Prawns as big as bananas.

I tell you, it's a long
way from Essex.

Have you had any
contact with Mr. Carse

since you were employed by him?

Um, no, I'm sorry.
No, not a squeak.

And do you have any information

on the killing of
Raymond Briers?

Who?

Ohh, you're opening
that old can of worms.

Well... Well, good for you.

Um, I always said it
needed a proper looking-at.

Okay, thank you,
Mr. Skye, for your time.

Um, if we need to
speak to you in person...

On tour till the end
of the year, I'm afraid.

But if you want to fly
out, catch a show...

Thank you. I'm sure
that won't be necessary.

- Goodbye.
- Have a nice da...

I'm sorry, Brian. I gonna
need more than this.

I'll go and buy
him an ice cream.

She wants evidence,
I'll give her evidence.

Who is this bloke, anyway?

Guy Carse. Billy's brother.

Last person to see Katie
Briers before the murder.

I know that car.

No, hey. Now, just try
and calm down, Mr. Carse.

I'm not safe while that
man's in the house.

Stop it. Gerry, the
man's in a wheelchair.

The man is a lunatic.

He tried to drive
me off the road.

We've got to speak
to him, though.

- Apologize.
- What?!

Now.

My colleague's got something
he wants to get off his chest.

Haven't you, Gerry?

No offense, all right?

None taken, kemosabe.

Any chance of a cup of tea?

I had hoped...
Passage of time...

People might start to remember
my kid brother as he was.

But one stupid mistake, it
poisons everything it touches.

Yeah, murder does that.

I gather you were the last
person to see Katie Briers

before she stabbed her husband.

That's right, yes. I drove her
home after the day's filming.

You were a driver on
your brother's show?

Chauffeur.

Huh! You qualified, are you?

Advanced driver's certificate.

Your mum must be very proud.

Oh, yes. Big belly laugh.

I worked hard for that.

Sheer bloody-minded
persistence. Story of my life.

Yeah, I'll bet.

You can do anything if
you put your mind to it.

The devil's in the detail.
That's my philosophy.

Yeah, how did Katie seem

that night when you
dropped her home?

Bit wobbly. Out of it.

I should never
have dropped her off.

I should just have
kept on driving.

You said you thought
she was still under.

- Under what?
- Hypnotized.

Yeah, it's possible.

But your brother said he
brought her out of her trance

before she went home.

Magic's not an exact science.

Why are you dragging
all this up, anyway?

Did you have much to
do with Brandon Skye?

Brandon?

Well, briefly. Long time ago.

1995. When he
worked for your brother.

I didn't see much work.

He was always quoting
"philosophy" and "science."

My brother, he was old
school and proud of it.

Brandon, he just
wanted to smash all that.

Looks like he won in the end.

Poor old Billy.

They just sent his effects
over from Romania.

Four cardboard boxes.
Not much of a life.

May we see them?

I sent them over
to the Magic Circle.

Thought there might be
something they could use.

Some of the world's
finest magicians

bequeath their personal
effects to our extensive collection

here at the Magic Circle.

Chung Ling Soo.

Pioneer of the Magic Circle.

Throughout his adult life he
passed himself off as infirm,

all for the sake of one trick.

Hard to credit, that
level of sacrifice.

Well, we live in
an age of skeptics.

Still, the wheel is turning.

Excuse me.

Um...

If you wouldn't mind?

Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah.

Nice, innit?

Did you know him... Billy Carse?

Barely. He was an
innocent, in his way.

Pity. All the trouble.

Brian.

What was the date
of the Briers murder?

17th of November '99.

- Well, what is it?
- It's evidence.

Ugh!

This is Dr. Neville Moroni.

He's the resident expert
here at the Magic Circle.

He's gonna talk us
through the slide.

You were supposed to
take him for an ice cream.

What we have here...

is a classic hypnosis script.

Looks ordinary enough.
"Hello and welcome."

"I promise you today
is going to be a killer."

And this was the script
used to hypnotize Katie Briers

before she killed her husband?

This is it.

Look for repetition.
Word patterns.

Like "killer,"
"kill or be killed,"

"killing time," "Wouldn't
you kill for her?"

Just a minute. What's that?

"That kind of
attitude is not warthy

of anyone with a pulse."

"Warthy" not "worthy."
Wasn't a Geordie, was he?

No, it's a plant.

- A what?
- A plant.

Course it's a plant.

He's repeating words
like "war," "kill," "murder."

And the name of the victim,
Ray, as in "raison d'être,"

"unraysonable," "ray of light."

Suggesting that Katie Briers
had already been singled out.

Exactly.

Well, then, doesn't
that point to Billy Carse?

I mean, it was found
among his effects.

Not quite.

This kind of word
patterning is indicative

of something known as
neuro-linguistic programming.

Ah! NLP.

Miles over the head of an
end-of-the-pier act like Billy.

Nah, he could never have
written a script like this.

Somebody wrote it for him.

So, what was he doing hanging
on to it for all these years?

Maybe he just felt ashamed or...

just couldn't bring
himself to throw it away.

And this stuff works?

With the right performer.

Oh, sure, sure.

Ahh!

A doubting Thomas.

Care for a demonstration?

Hm! Yeah, right.

- Well, go on, Gerry.
- Dare you.

All right, all right.

Come on, then. Give
me your best work.

You mean, you really
can't remember anything?

Well, I remember standing there

and that Moroni bloke telling me

to think of the first song
that came into my head, and...

Then it all went
sort of dizzy and...

Yes. Thank you.

- You all right?
- I'll live.

- Which is more than I can say...
- Sandra.

We agreed.

- Fine.
- All right, what did he do?

Nothing. Nothing.

Brian?

Well, "nothing's"
all right, innit?

Nothing to write home about.

So...

- Who's with me?
- You what?

- The case.
- Oh, I don't know, Brian.

Even if Brandon had a
hand in this script of yours,

how did he get it to Billy?

Well, if I had all the answers,
we'd be making an arrest.

Yeah, and we'd have
to have gold-plated proof

of malicious intent
against Katie Briers.

Isn't that what we're
meant to be about?

Lost causes the rest
of the Met won't touch?

There's Billy Carse
lying in his coffin

and poor Katie Briers
going out of her mind

because nobody's got
the guts or the decency

to launch an investigation.

If this Merlin claims to
know what happened,

then we should talk to him.

Oh, come on.

Come on. Who's with me?

Three days.

You won't regret it.

Do you remember the
words that were used

to hypnotize you, Katie?

No.

The last thing I remember is
that I was sitting there and...

The wind was in my hair.

We really want to find this man,
but we're gonna need your help.

Those e-mails you showed
us... Did you ever send a reply?

Yeah, I did. From time to time.

How would you feel
about setting up a meeting?

"Midnight. Under the
Hungerford Bridge.

Come alone."

Who does this
Merlin think he is,

Humphrey bleeding Bogart?

Shh!

We have a male approaching

from Waterloo Bridge.

Merlin?

Oi!

Play nice.

So Mr. Burgess...

Call me Merlin.

Mr. Burgess.

Why now?

I did it for Billy.

I heard that he d-died.

I wanted to set
the record straight.

Very touching.

Why not pick up the
phone or come to see us?

I'm not exactly a
people p-person.

No kidding.

So three counts of
battery since 2001,

two ABH, and a
breaking and entering.

Much call for magic,
is there, in the nick?

Not a lot.

I do a bit of
bookbinding, mostly.

I work with my hands.

Huh.

You met Billy Carse when?

Summer of '95.

That's four years
before the Briers murder.

That's it.

Me and Brandon...
Brandon Skye...

We were like Billy's...
backroom boys.

But Brandon...

Him and Billy Carse didn't
exactly see eye to eye.

He said Billy was
p-past his prime,

yesterday's man.

I used to be one of them.

And what were you saying, Clive?

I kept my mouth shut.

Brandon couldn't stand it.

Packed his bags after
a c-couple of months,

said I was to go with him.

- And did you?
- Yeah.

He said he'd c-cure my
stammer, for a kickoff.

I think the m-magic wore off.

And what did he want in return?

He needed to run some tests.

Oh, you were his guinea pig?

Lab rat.

Two years Brandon Skye

m-messed with my head
while he worked up his act.

You want to know where the
bodies are buried? Right here.

Head like a bloody graveyard.

You sound like a man
with an ax to grind.

Eh?

What's all this got to do
with the Briers murder?

He went on and on

about how he was gonna drag
Billy Carse through the gutter.

Why? 'Cause they didn't get on?

Kill off the
competition, more like.

I mean, old school or not,

Billy had something,
and Brandon knew it.

So, what was the plan?

To plant a spy in Billy's camp.

A spy? Working for Brandon?

That's it. Years
he went on about it.

Then all of a sudden
he found some bird.

He said she was
perfect, just Billy's type.

When was this?

Couple of months
before the Briers business.

So if Merlin is to be trusted,

we're looking for a mystery lady

who worked on Billy
Carse's production crew

back here in 1999.

I just pulled these
out of the old file.

It's a "Magic Majestic" crew
list and a crew photograph.

Taken a couple of weeks
before Katie showed up.

Not many of the
females of the specie.

Couple of secretaries,
butch camera grip,

and Lulu Quester.

- The producer.
- Mm.

She and Billy look nice
and snug, don't they?

Mm. And she'd have had
plenty of access to the top man.

When did she join the team?

June '99.

That would fit in
with Merlin's story.

So we're saying that Brandon
plants a mole on Billy's team,

waits for a suitably
vulnerable target,

rewrites Billy's
hypnosis script...

Katie goes berserk, and
Billy's career is in ruins.

Conspiracy to murder.

Well, it's a funny old world.

Brandon's company...
Black Cat Holdings...

They do these out-of-the-box
corporate weekends.

Who do you think does the
day-to-day running for him?

Lulu bloody Quester.

Says on the company blurb here

Lulu and Brandon met for
the first time two years ago.

Well, if they think we're
gonna swallow that one.

That little sod thinks
he's untouchable.

Hang on. When did Brandon
say he was back in the country?

End of the year. Why?

It says here he's making
an unscheduled appearance

at Lulu Quester's next
corporate weekend

or you get your money back.

- When's that?
- In about six hours' time.

He lied to us, Sandra.

He knew he was coming
back, and he lied to us.

Well, let's pull him in.

What, and watch Brandon
pull up the drawbridge?

Yeah, he's right.

All right, all right.

Strickland's on
the fairway, right?

Why don't you see if you can
get a couple of late bookings

for this nice corporate
weekend, eh?

Ahh.

What are you reading?

It's a basic grounding
in modern magic.

Neville loaned me them.

Do you want a swig?

No thank you.

It's ginger beer.

I'll save you some.

Can you believe it?

They've got that
famous library there,

and look at the way
they treat their books.

- Look.
- Scandalous, Brian.

Barry. Barry Cunliffe.

We're undercover now.

Yes, but only for so
long as we need to be.

Understood.

Here we are.

What's with the shades?

I don't want him coming in here.

- Who?
- Brandon Skye.

You're not scared of
that old charlatan, surely.

This top story's not to rent.

Anyway, look what
happened to Gerry.

One minute he's right
as rain, and then...

I know.

You must be Simone and Barry.

I'm Lulu Quester. Welcome.

Blimey. That her?

Wasted on Brian, of course.

Born in Kidderminster.

Background in television
and public relations.

20 years' experience.
Doesn't say what at.

Problem is connecting
her with Brandon

before the Briers killing.

Hm. Right.

Hello. Yeah, Quester.

Q-U-E-S-T-E-R.

Kidderminster.

- What are you doing?
- Directory inquiries.

- What for?
- Yeah, that's the one.

Yes, please.

- They're putting me through.
- Softly-softly, Sandra said.

Just relax, huh?

Message for Lulu Quester
from Jack Rafferty from, uh...

Apollo Headhunters.

Hi, I'm calling about a
job opportunity in Chicago.

So if someone could
call me back ASAP

we can talk numbers

and maybe get you on a flight
by the close of play on Sunday.

So let's speak soon, huh?

Jack Rafferty. 07700 916572.

What was all that in aid of?

Well, in a little while her
loving granny will phone back.

We'll have a cozy
little chitchat about Lulu,

all her boyfriends
and her career.

And all for the
price of a phone call.

You live in a dream world.

No, I'm "lateral."

You're barmy.

So, um, why Rafferty?

As in Gerry Rafferty?

You heard of him?

Hold on, hold on.

This is about the other
day, isn't it? That hypnotist.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Yes, you...

You might like to answer
that. Could be granny.

Might be.

Hello.

Can you say that...

- Hung up.
- Who?

Don't know.

But it sounded
like our pal Merlin.

What did he say?

Well, he just said he'd
broken rule number nine.

Well, he's barmy an' all.

Number nine? What did he mean?

Well, I don't know.
He just hung up.

Okay, well, call me as
soon as you find him.

And bring me something
solid on our female friend.

I'll do me best.

Hiya. Ian Butterworth.

You must be Simone.

Where's your badge?

Excuse me.

Billy Carse?

Talk about a
blast from the past.

Didn't he go off to
Transylvania or someplace?

- Did he?
- Mm.

Don't get me wrong, Barry.
Every dog has his day, but...

He was never in
Brandon's league.

Such an amateur. Jesus.

Didn't that used
to be a good thing?

Amateur.

Meant you did
something for the love of it.

Now, that is
exactly the mind-set

we have to get
you out of, Barry.

Oh, no! Of course.

Then there was
that brother of his

chauffeuring him around.

Bless.

I mean, it's meant
to be a business,

not some traveling circus.

I heard you
and Billy hit it off.

No.

Not a patch on
your new boss, eh?

Brandon.

Practically saved my life.

I'm a bit starstruck,
to be honest.

You sure I can't
make that a spritzer?

No. Thank you.

Champagne, please.

I heard Brandon might
be making an appearance.

Imagine that, though, eh?
Brandon Skye in the flesh?

That'll be one
for the grandkids.

If you say so.

Come on. I bet you'd like
him to slip you one, eh?

I'm here to learn... Ian.

Oof. You sound
just like my ex-wife.

Open university,
evening classes.

I told her, I said, "Where's
all this gonna end, eh?

'Celebrity Countdown'?"

I hope she's happy now, mind.

I hope all them books
keep her warm at night.

So, uh, you and Barry...
You at it, then, are you?

What? No!

Oh.

Right, then.

Mr. Burgess?

Merli...

Jesus wept.

So this is Merlin, eh?
The Welsh wizard.

At least we're
in the right place.

What's left of it.

Eh, he's legged it.

I don't know.

List of names. Numbers.

Some kind of register?

Anything you recognize?

Billy Carse a couple of times.

Pretty hard to read.

I wouldn't have
had Burgess pegged

as a Bible basher, would you?

Well, we've all got to
believe in something.

Hang on a minute.

What did he say?
Rule number nine?

There you are... "Thou
shalt not bear false witness."

Do you think the
e-mails and the meeting...

Do you think he was
about to confess to Katie,

and we turned up and
put the kibosh on it?

No.

And he wasn't even
working on Carse's show

the year Briers was killed.

And if he was about to confess,

he'd have broken the
other rule, wouldn't he?

- Number six.
- What's number six?

Thou shalt not commit murder.

I don't think it works
with wine glasses.

Oh.

How are you getting on?

Must be a wardrobe in the way.

Anyway, what's creepy Ian
doing in Lulu's apartment?

I could hazard a guess.

Oh, come on.

No. Wouldn't put it past him.

He's the kind of bloke

who thinks that
the word "no" is a...

kind of elaborate foreplay.

Let it go!

Do you think we
should go in and help?

I'm sorry. Barry
would never do that.

I can't compromise me cover.

Jesus, Brian.

Barry.

Christ, what are we doing here?

Why don't we just show our I.D.s

and then interview Lulu
when we've got the chance?

What, scare Brandon off?

There we are.

Nice and quiet now.

Right.

Go on. Off you go.

We've got to be up
at the crack of dawn.

"Jungle Fever:
Illusions of Leadership."

I thought you liked
the great outdoors.

Oh, aye, it's fine for Brian.

Barry's got rheumatic knees.

Aaaaaaaaaaaay!

Ian.

Ebooooowyah!

Ha ha!

Simone.

Haa!

And once more.

Aaaaaah!

- Whoo!
- Belter!

Okay, now, you
all know the rules.

Three hours and one compass.

Go, go, go!

Merlin's gone?

But you caught him. I was there.

We later released him.

But the point is we
don't know where he is.

His apartment is empty,

and he left us in a
very agitated state.

Look, it's nothing
to worry about.

We just don't want him
trying to contact you again.

Have you got
somewhere you can go

or someone you can stay with?

Where's Brian? I
want to see Brian.

I'm afraid he's away
for a couple of days.

You're gonna have
to make do with us.

If there's any trouble, I'm
at the end of the phone.

I'll take my own
chances, thanks.

Thought you were supposed to

be good with maps, Brian.

It's not exactly
prizewinning cartography.

Oi, Ian! We're meant
to be making that last.

Think you got that upside down.

Anyway, who's Brian
when he's at home?

- Huh?
- Well, you just said Brian.

I've seen this place before.

Something's not right.

Oh, my God!

Come over here!

- He's not breathing.
- I know that tree.

It's the war game. It's
Katie Briers' war game.

We've been set up.

Oh, Christ!

What... What the
hell's going on?

Oh, dear.

Sandra Pullman, you really
should do that for a living.

Brandon Skye.
You little bastard.

UCOS?

Sounds like a hemorrhoid cream.

Fancy a lift?

Huh. That's gratitude for you.

Look, Merlin's not gonna
show up now, is he?

- Can we go home?
- You go.

That woman's had
a bellyful of trouble.

Tell you what. Let's
have a bit of music.

- Cheer us up.
- Wait a minute. What is this?

- Oh, no.
- Oi!

Oh, no, you don't.

What the bleeding
hell did you do that for?

For your own good.

It's that hypnotist, innit?

Why won't anyone
tell me what happened?

You ever heard of "Oedipus Rex"?

Yeah.

He went on and
on asking questions.

Are you saying I
shagged my own mother?

Worse.

Much worse.

Worse?!

What the...

Hello.

Who?

Yeah, Jack Rafferty speaking.

Sorry, it's a bad line.
Who am I talking to?

Hey! Lulu's grandmother.

Why, granny, what
big ears you've got.

Cheer up, Bri!

Honestly, the look on your face.

What you gonna do
now? Clap me in irons?

Apply the letter of the law?

Surely not tonight. We're
all having so much fun.

Besides, I could be very
useful to an old soak like you.

- What did you say?
- How is life on the wagon, eh?

Good days and bad days?

- You been checking up on me?
- Well, there's no need.

Fizzy water. Bloodshot eyes.

That trapped nerve
in your left cheek.

You want me to make a list?

Sandra.

Look at you, freshly douched.

What you gonna do,
kiss me or kill me?

How about nick you?

Ow. Probably deserved that one.

For the record, how long have
you and Mr. Skye been shagging?

Two years.

Why?

I'm amazed you give
him the time of day.

Oh, let her have
it. Both barrels.

Who knows? Maybe
she just fancied me?

Top "A" like a tomcat
when this one gets going.

I'd like to formally
interview the pair of you.

Well, leaving aside the
lack of evidence against us,

the underhand and, uh,

slightly naff means
you used to get here,

she's got 50-odd people

who've paid through
the nose to come here.

Let her have her party. Go on.

And then we'll answer as
many questions as you like.

Excuse me.

Brian.

Hi, Gerry, what you got?

August '98,

Lulu Quester got a temporary
job with a theatrical agency.

The same agency that
represented Brandon Skye.

Now, although Lulu denied it,

my contact suspects there
was a secret boyfriend.

Okay. Keep digging, and let
me know if you get anything.

Gotcha.

What Brandon doesn't realize
is that we've got the script.

And if we can persuade
Lulu to talk to us,

we might have a case.

Brian, what are you doing?

He's planning
something. I'm sure of it.

But what's he after?
That's the point.

High-frequency words. If I
just had him down on tape.

And the eyes! The eyes.

Was it up to the right
or down to the left?

It's here somewhere.
I think it's page 37.

Brian.

If these books weren't
such a bloody mess,

I might just hear myself think.

Brian, let's go home.

- Don't you dare.
- I'm concerned about you.

No need.

I am, as they say, past saving.

About 27 years past,
according to Esther.

I'm not going anywhere, Sandra.

Not till we've got him.

All right, I'll see if
I can lean on Lulu,

get her on side, until...

This is their corporate H.Q.!

Must be stuffed with records.

You know, paperwork. Letters!

No harm in having a look...

Don't you even
begin to go there!

Now, you get an early
night. Promise me.

Promise me!

♪ Give me the groove ♪

♪ Yeah, uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh ♪

♪ Give me the groove ♪

♪ Yeah, uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh ♪

♪ Give me the groove ♪

♪ Yeah, uh-huh, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪

♪ Give me the groove ♪

♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪

♪ Give me the groove ♪

♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪

♪ Yeah, uh-huh, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

Ohh.

You've disappointed me, Brandon.

♪ Yeah, yeah, uh-huh ♪

♪ Yeah, uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh ♪

♪ Give me the groove ♪

Lulu.

Simone.

Detective Superintendent
Pullman works for me.

- Right.
- Friend of yours says hello.

Lulu Quester.

17th of June 1999.

Oh, doubly
disappointed, Brandon.

Classic substitution code.

Oh, Brandon.

What have we got?

It appears an "I" is a "U."

I told you. I've only
known him for two years.

And your colleagues
at the agency

will back you up
on that, will they?

He's a bully.

- You don't know him.
- Let me guess.

He's funny, clever, got
an ego the size of Texas,

and you feel about two inches
tall when you're not with him.

He looks after me.

Really?

'Cause he sure as hell kicks
the crap out of everybody else.

"M."

"Must." "You must..."

Apply the letter of the law.

Let her have her party.

Let her have it. Both barrels.

Letter... Letter...
Letter of the law.

"You must think I
was born yesterday."

"You must think I
was born yesterday."

You might think you've
got the run of me.

Well, let me tell you...

You're not half as
clever as you're stupid.

- Brian, that's enough.
- And I'm gonna take you apart.

Cog by cog and wheel by wheel.
Then we'll see who's laughing.

Oh, Brian, Brian, Brian.

You take the infinite
suggestibility of the human mind

and you turn it into clockwork.

Has anybody heard the
one about the Flemish priest?

No?

He runs to this hospital ward

to give the last rites
to this dying peasant.

Anyway, he goes and
gives it the wrong man.

Some poor sod who's only
in there for a hernia operation.

Half an hour later, the
guy with the hernia is dead.

And the dying peasant, well,

he's probably planting
potatoes as we speak.

And?

I'm delivering your
last rites right now,

and you don't even know it.

What's that supposed to mean?

You old soak.

You don't think that's orange
juice in your glass, do you?

We're not done here.

Brian!

Brian, get out of the car.

Brian, you can't even
drive, for Christ's sake!

It's all right. I'll drive you.

We're looking for Merlin.

- Merlin?
- Also known as Clive Burgess.

- Gentleman with a stammer?
- That's the one.

Thought you might
have kept in touch.

I try not to look back.
Those days are long gone.

Ask around at the Magic Circle.

You never thought of having a
go at the magic yourself, then?

Abracadabra.

Very good.

That'll be my dinner.

Yes, I thought I
could smell something.

Lasagne al forno.

Yes, well, uh, we'll
see ourselves out.

Bon appétit.

Oh, my God.

What are you looking at?

Okay, let's go.

But surely he's over the limit.

The Breathalyzer
came back negative.

Eh?

The Breathalyzer
came back negative.

What are you saying, I
don't know drunk from sober?

No, Brian, of course not.

He beat me.

Okay.

Okay, I'll tell you the truth.

For the benefit of the tape,

I'm handing
Mr. Skye exhibit SP23,

which is a copy
of the script used

in the Billy Carse
television show

to hypnotize various
people, including Katie Briers.

Now, Mr. Skye, I believe

that in connivance with
your lover, Lulu Quester,

you singled out Katie Briers
as a vulnerable subject,

drove her to murder,

thereby wrecking the reputation
of your rival, Billy Carse.

You wrote this
script, didn't you?

And then you gave
it to Miss Quester

to hand over to Billy.

I never wrote this.

Read my memoirs.

Chapter 3. "Awakenings."

I didn't get into NLP until
years after Katie Briers.

I don't want to read
your memoirs, Mr. Skye.

Oh, look out.

Here comes trouble.

Brian Lane has just
entered the room.

Bad hangover?

Glass of O.J. and a
raw egg. Never fails.

I am handing
Mr. Skye exhibit SP37.

Will you please turn
to page 38, Mr. Skye?

Now, is this your handwriting
in the left-hand margin?

- Yes, but I...
- Yes or no?!

Yes.

Read it.

"Bury word patterns.

Compel the subject
to act against their will,

maybe even..."

"Maybe even murder," Mr. Skye?

I've never even read this book.

Funny, that.

Right.

Here we go.

The withdrawals book from
the library at the Magic Circle.

I am now turning to June '97.

Oh, hello!

There's your name, Mr. Skye,
withdrawing this book.

Exhibit SP37.

And again SP52, 64, 29.

Each one of them covered
in more of the same.

This is a joke, right?

Who's laughing?

Hello?

Merlin?

Where are you?

Okay, so I set Lulu
up for the job with Billy.

She used to say I knew

more about Billy's
next show than he did.

She let me at his ideas,
his subject profiles.

I went through it all.

And, yes, Katie Briers
looked lively enough.

Popping Prozac like it
was going out of fashion.

Well, she wasn't
wrong there, was she?

You know, Lulu wanted to pull
her from the show, but I said...

"Let her have her 15 minutes.

It'll be fun."

But nobody... nobody... Was
ever meant to get murdered.

And, you know,
how many more times

do I have to say this to you?

I didn't write any script.

He set me up.

He set me up.

Where's Lulu?

Look, it wasn't me, all right?

Interview suspended at 10:02.

Excuse me.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,

who's the cleverest of them all?

Not you, Mr. Skye.

No.

Not me.

Never was.

There's always
somebody cleverer.

Oh, come on.

Don't flatter yourself.

Who?

Who was cleverer?

Mr. Burgess was discovered
last night outside Tilbury Docks.

- Trying to leave the country?
- Not exactly.

Those e-mails he sent to
Katie weren't entirely honest.

Were they, Merlin?

- I was led astray.
- Yes.

So he wanted to make amends.

He tried to contact me

and then dropped in
on his coconspirator...

What coconspirator?

Who showed him this.

Last thing I remember, I was
standing in his living room.

- Whose living room?
- Guy Carse.

Don't tell me... He
was hypnotized.

Mm. Using this.

So he walks up to Tower Bridge
and throws himself off the edge.

I c-can't even swim.

So how come you're not at
the bottom of the Thames?

I was saved.

Saved? He's got the luck
of the three blind mice.

He landed on a barge.
Knocked himself spark out.

It was a miracle.

- Brian.
- Oh, hello, Katie.

They said on the news
that you've got him.

Brandon Skye.

Do you ever get the feeling

that nothing's as
simple as it needs to be?

It's the story of my life.

I've ordered a car to
take me back to UCOS.

I'd like you to come with me.

I'll explain everything
on the way there.

But Katie, you must trust me.

That'll be our cab.

It was Guy Carse.

He wanted me to contact
Katie and frame Brandon Skye.

Why did you lie for him?

He said he'd fix my impediment.

He said Brandon
needed teaching a lesson,

and if I did what I
was told he'd fix me

for k-k-k-keeps.

This is on the meter, Mr. Carse.

No chance.

This one's on the firm.

Oh. Very civil of you.

So tell me...

How many years was it you
worked as your brother's driver?

All our lives.

And you never
fancied it yourself,

the life of the magician?

- With these legs?
- Oh, I don't know.

There's always room
for the backroom boys.

You know, the ideas man.

That's where the
real magic happens.

The preparation.

If you say so.

God is in the detail,
as you once remarked.

Or was that the devil?

I suppose it depends.

So who was Billy's ideas man?

He worked alone.

Oh, come on.

No need to be so
modest, Mr. Carse.

Billy was nothing without you.

Look what happened
to him in Bucharest.

Poor bastard.

If it hadn't been for your legs,

it could have been
you up there in lights.

No, no. Billy
always had the gift.

What gift's that, then?

He knew how to
make people love him.

Including you?

Always.

What, even when leggy
Lulu turned his head

and you went from
Svengali to spare part?

Did you still love him then?

Billy still needed teaching
a lesson, though, didn't he?

So you sat tight and you waited.

For the right subject
to come along.

Someone fragile.

Ripe for the breaking.

Very good, Mr. Lane.

What was it gave me away?

Brandon Skye.

Turns out he always had you
pegged as the puppet master.

He was just too vain to say so.

And this beauty.

Binding here, see?
Recently restored.

That's a craft practiced
by your mate Merlin.

He opened up the book for you

and planted new
entries for Brandon,

only backdated to 1997.

Then in went the
incriminating marginalia.

That must have taken days,

learning to copy
the handwriting.

- Months.
- Hell of a sacrifice.

Small change next to
some of the stuff I've done.

What was it you said?

The last thing you
remembered that day?

Can you stop the car, please?

The very last thing.

The wind in my hair.

Crack the window,
will you, love?

I like fresh air in the car.

Billy told the truth.

He did bring Katie
out of her trance

at the end of the war game.

Then you hypnotized
her again a second time.

And then you planted your
script amongst Billy's effects

to lead us to Brandon.

Did you know?

What?

Did you know that I would
walk through that door

and murder my husband?

Call it a leap of faith.

Look at me.

Look at me, you
grubby little coward!

Come on, Mr. Carse.
Stop the car.

Game's up now.

You okay?

Listen, whenever you're ready,
we're gonna need a statement.

- Okay.
- What were you thinking of?!

- I know. I'm sorry.
- Not good enough, Brian!

You don't get it, do
you? He believed me.

Nobody ever believed me.

They're not gonna
suspend you, are they?

Sandra? Heh. She wouldn't dare.

You know, the weird thing
is I almost feel sorry for him.

- Sorry for who?
- Guy Carse.

Losing the use of his legs.

I mean, part of me thinks,
well, he's been punished once.

Hang on.

He's always been
in that wheelchair.

Who, Guy?

Chung Ling Soo.

Chung Ling bloody Soo!

Throughout his adult life

he passed himself off as infirm,

all for the sake of one trick.

No, I knew he was dodgy
when he pranged my car.

I thought he didn't
touch your car.

No, but he would have if I
hadn't had my wits about me.

And here's him giving me grief.
"Gerry, he's in a wheelchair."

Yeah. That's what I call
political correctness...

Gone mad. Yeah, we know.

Look at him. Miles away.

Like Raymond Briers' killer.

He can't get far.
They'll find him.

Could be halfway to Peru by now.

Well, at least Katie
knows the truth.

- That's something.
- True.

So...

Gonna tell me
about this hypnotist?

Gerry, you've
heard of a trigger.

Well, the hypnotist
plants in his subject

a particular trigger.

Something familiar,
close to the subject's heart.

Hit that trigger, cause
a nuclear reaction.

And what's my reaction?

We daren't say.

Well, what's my trigger?

Well, I'd give the
music of Gerry Rafferty

the widest possible berth.

- No!
- No!

♪ It's all right, it's okay ♪

♪ Doesn't really matter
if you're old and gray ♪

♪ It's all right, I
say it's okay ♪

♪ Listen to what I say ♪

♪ It's all right, doing fine ♪

♪ Doesn't really matter
if the sun don't shine ♪

♪ It's all right, I
say it's okay ♪

♪ We're getting to
the end of the day ♪

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