Original subtitles

[upbeat music]

Almost there?

[claps]

-Yes! -Let's go!

[doorbell rings]

I'll get it.

What are you selling? Oh man, no chocolate?

. You must be young Dyllie, dude.

Yazzy tells me you're a rapper.

Rapper, rhyme specialist, future young GOAT,

I have a lot of titles.

But who are you exactly? And why no candy?

Uncle Chews!

Hey, there he is, my little future chef!

Bow! Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, bow!

Uncle whos?

Dylan, this is our uncle, Uncle Chews.

Chews? Hmm, not really clearing things up.

-Uncle Chews -Hey!

It's my big brother! Oh!

How are you?

-Good. How are you? -Good.

Oh, um, that explains the uncle part,

but it's the Chews part I'm stuck on.

His name is actually Charles.

Charlie was named after him.

And when Yazzy was little, she couldn't say Charles.

She could only say

-Chews! -Chews!

Oh. Nope, still don't get it.

Charlie, why don't you take your uncle's bags upstairs?

-What's up, big bro? -What up, Yazzy?!

[Charlie] Rebecca, you're not going to believe this!

What's up, Myles?

I'm all right. Yeah, I'm all right.

So, uh, so, uh, Chews, still no nickname for me, huh?!

Uh, yeah, we can try a Lil' M again.

[laughs] No, I'm good.

Chews, it's been so long. It's been too long.

I know, but we had so much fun the last time we were together.

When we went to the...

Uh-huh, and then that woman...

Yeah, yeah, she grabbed--

[in unison] The purple one!

[laughs]

-Yes! -Yeah.

[Yasmine] Oh, my goodness.

Did you understand all that?

Not a word.

I just don't like being left out.

-Uncle Chews! -Oh, there she is.

Our future president.

Uncle Chews, why didn't you tell us you were coming to town?

Well, you know, I wanted to surprise you.

I'm not staying long.

Just a quick layover before I fly to Malaysia.

-Oh, Malaysia. -Come on, sit, sit, sit.

Everybody sit, sit. Everybody, sit, sit, sit, sit.

-Hey. -You guys look great.

Dylan, Uncle Chews is the best.

He travels the world and has the most amazing stories.

Tell him.

Well, I travel the world and have the most amazing stories.

[laughing]

See? He's the best.

He also brings us the coolest gifts from around the world.

-Oh. -My favorite is this.

It's Ugandan walking stick he got from a hidden village

on Mount Moroto.

Hidden villages in Africa?! Yo, are you a spy?

I can neither confirm nor deny that.

[laughing]

Well, I'm going to tell everyone you're a spy.

Having an uncle as a spy gets you street cred.

That's what's up.

Hey, I'm your uncle.

-Exactly. -Speaking of gifts,

is there anything in there for us?

No... just playing.

Come on, you know your uncle got you.

All right, now these are shark tooth necklaces, okay?

They are from the islands of Guam...

-Wow! -...and Saipan, okay?

[chuckles]

-Yeah! -Wow.

If the teeth are this big, then how big was the shark?

All I can say is if you've met this shark in an alley,

give him your wallet and run.

-[laughing] -Run! Run!

Yo, somehow this brings my swag

to a whole 'nother level.

I didn't think that was possible.

This is jaw-some...

Actually, this is fin-credible.

Or shark-tastic! Ho ho! Ho ho!

Uncle Chews, tell me some more stories.

[upbeat music]

? From the Chi, down in ATL, family living well ?

? Uncle Myles ain't understand my style ?

? Had to show and tell ?

? Auntie Yaz said I'm good at math ?

? I should never fail ?

? And Cousin Becca, she a steppa ?

? Charlie rollin' with the kid ?

? Yeah, ah, [Who?] You gonna love Young Dylan ?

? Yeah, ah, [Who?] Who gonna love Young Dylan ?

? Yeah, ah, [Who?] Who gonna love Young Dylan ?

? Yeah, ah, [Who?] You gonna love Young Dylan ?

? Yeah, ah, [Who?] Who gonna love Young Dylan ?

? Yeah, ah, [Who?] You gonna love Young Dylan ?

And that's how I helped LeBron get over his fear

of eating fish eggs.

-Oh! -Wow!

Do you have any cool rapper stories?

Ever heard of Jam Rock?

Jam Rock's my new favorite rapper!

Met him in Jamaica, man. He was rapping.

I was making jerk lobster. Ba-da-bing! Shoo!

Lobster? I thought he was allergic to shellfish.

Yeah, he invited me to chill on his yacht, right?

And even the pod of dolphins waved at us.

-[mimics dolphin call] -Huh?

I thought Jam Rock was afraid of yachts.

Dylan, stop interrupting.

Oh, Unc, did I tell you

that Dylan and I started a label called Beatzlanta Records?

What? That's amazing! I'm so proud of you!

What about you, Charlie?

Oh, oh, tell him about the culinary program.

I've been saving up for a summer culinary program.

The top students get to be sous chefs for the night.

It's an amazing opportunity.

And we know Charlie's gonna be a top student.

Now, if you kids could start taking everything out back,

and Charlie, you can show Uncle Chew

why you won first place

at Taste of the Town cooking competition.

-What? -Yeah, but I don't want to brag.

You know what Uncle Chew says.

What do I always say, Charlie?

Always brag about yourself.

-Let's go, let's go. -Awesome.

Hey, let me tell you guys about the time

that I wrestled a raccoon out of an old lady's wig.

-What? -[Chew] Yeah, yeah.

The raccoon thought he had me. But you know what?

Not Uncle Chew. No, sir.

Okay. [sighs]

Yasmine, has somebody been sitting in my chair?

Where's my cup? Where's my favorite mug?

It's okay. I see what you're doing.

Your brother comes to town

and then everybody is all about Uncle Chew.

As soon as Uncle Chews get here, "Chew, Chew!"

Okay, okay. I see it. Ha, ha, ha.

Fun time, fun time has begun.

[upbeat music]

[knocking] Come in.

[in unison] Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Wilson.

Hey, you two! Perfect timing.

The kids are out back with my brother.

He made a surprise visit.

Oh, yeah. You guys are gonna love him.

He's got some really amazing stories to tell.

But don't worry if you don't get,

like, a cool nickname or a gift.

Takes years, apparently.

Mmm, raisins.

What are you making, oatmeal cookies?

-My favorite! -No, silly.

It's my infamous potato salad.

I used to always make it for my big brother as a kid.

He took one bite, and the look on his face,

I knew it was a hit.

Grandma V was right.

We have to keep her away from the kitchen.

-I agree. -Oh, wow.

Hey, do you mind mixing in

the rest of the ingredients for me?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We totally can.

Awesome, great.

Maybe we could salvage this.

-Myles. -Hmm?

Do you remember last week when I had that deadline,

and I was rushing to list that big house for sale?

Funny thing is, that house has the same address as ours.

But we're on Kensie, not Kensley.

What did you do?

I accidentally listed our house for sale.

Yasmine, you're a realtor.

I know, but look at that offer.

Come on, Yasmine. You're a great realtor.

[chuckles]

If we sell our house,

we can live on the super fancy side of town and be one

of thosepeople.

[Myles] If they're willing to pay that much,

we can have country club problems

and caviar dreams, darling.

[lavishly] Darling, can you imagine?

No, they can't sell the house and move.

How will me and Rebecca hang out and do all the things we love

to do together?

Same for me with Dylan and Charlie.

This isn't good.

-That's crazy. [upbeat music]

[laughing loudly]

Then the prince says to me, "If you had beat me,

I would have given you my 24-carat gold private jet."

What, LeBron?

One second, guys. That's work.

I told him those fish eggs would hatch in his stomach.

[whispering] Psst, Rebecca, come on.

[whispering] What, what?

No shade, but is Uncle Chews legit?

Just a minute ago, he said he was hanging out

with Drake in his neighborhood in Vancouver.

But we all know Drake lives in Toronto,

and his Jam Rock story seems off.

Jam Rock doesn't even like boats.

He says it in one of his tracks:

? I got the boat rocking from left to right ?

? My dreads swinging like I'm Weezy ?

? I make it look easy ?

? I'm really not a fan I'd rather be on some land ?

Maybe he changed his mind,

like you did with Brussels sprouts.

Okay, I'll admit,

I misjudged them; they're delicious.

But tell me they don't look like tiny alien brains.

Listen, I know I'm right about this.

I know my rap facts.

Wait, are you just jealous

because Uncle Chews life is cooler than yours?

His life is not ascool as mine's!

I know, that's why I said iscooler than yours.

Trust me, something's fishy.

And it's not just this shark tooth.

[smooth music]

[upbeat music]

[telephone rings]

Oh, another call for the house. Hello?

Yes, it's an amazing house to raise kids in.

No, it's not a good house to raise peacocks in.

Goodbye.

[telephone rings] Hello?

I'm sorry, what?

How many steps from the master bedroom to the bathroom?

How much did you say you were offering again?

In cash? Oh, I believe it's ten feet.

Hold on a second while I check.

Wow, if this house was a woman,

it'd be Coco Jones 'cause it is hot!

This is getting serious.

We have to do something.

[doorbell rings]

Hi, we're here about the house for sale.

Are your mom and dad home?

Uh...

They're in the basement. dealing with the mold.

And the rats. The rats, yeah.

They got rats to eat the mold.

Yeah, and then they got cats to eat the rats to eat the mold.

It's a vicious cycle.

Yep. Circle of life. What can you do?

-Um, ok -Have a good day.

[Ben] Do rats eat mold?

That was crazy.

I'm getting a crazy idea.

[upbeat music]

Uh, raisins?

Who puts raisins in potato salad?

-Uncle Myles? -What's up?

Can I see you in my studio? Like, it's important.

Right now, like, really, right now.

Dylan, what are you doing?

And what did you do to Rebecca's walking stick?

Uncle Myles, Uganda want to hear this.

-What? -Uncle Chews is

a big old fibber.

He lied about Jam Rock, he lied about the shark tooth,

and he lied about Rebecca's Ugandan walking stick.

-What? -It was made in Wyoming,

not Uganda.

Unless there's a hidden Ugandan village in Wyoming,

I'm telling you, Uncle Chews stories are all cap.

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.

I knew LeBron already liked fish eggs.

See?

You need to tell Mama Yaz, Rebecca, and Charlie.

They're all being swept up in a tsunami of lies.

A tsunami of lies? Yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

Nope, nope, nope.

Nope. We can't. We can't do it.

We can't. We can't. I mean, look at it.

First of all, that's Yasmine's big brother, right?

Secondly, it's Charlie's namesake.

I mean, and look at Rebecca. She adores her Uncle Chews.

If we tell him, that'll ruin them, as much as I want to.

Besides, I mean, look.

I guess his stories aren't really hurting anybody.

Except for me.

Guys, Uncle Chews has the best idea.

Yeah, I was thinking,

why should Charlie spend that money to learn how

to cook for someone when he can use that money to make money?

Say what now?

Yeah. What exactly does that mean?

It means that I'm going to buy my own hot dog cart

and make money instead of going to that culinary program.

But, Charlie, you were so excited about the program

and the opportunity to become a sous chef,

like, you don't even like hot dogs.

Well, you don't have to like them to sell them.

Exactly. So I'm going to let my money-

[in unison] Make me money.

Let us show you what we're working with.

[nervously laughs]

You gotta scratch what I said. We gotta take Uncle Chews down.

You know what you should have next to your cart?

Those inflatable dancing things.

I could call my cart the Dancing Dogs.

Uncle Chews, remember that Jam Rock story?

Where in Jamaica were you and Jam Rock at the time?

-Montego Bay. -Ah, Montego Bay.

Yes, yes. North side or south side?

South, near the resort.

Mm-hmm. When you were in Uganda,

how did you find that hidden village?

Well, I had a tour guide who knew where it was:

Akello, from the village of Jinja near Lake Victoria.

Check out this picture of the two of us.

But do you have a picture with you and Jam Rock together?

Ha-ha. You and Jam Rock.

What are you doing? What's with all the questions?

It's okay, Charlie, it's all right.

You know, sometimes people get a little suspicious

when you share all your amazing stories, huh?

-Amazing. -But never fear.

Uncle Chews doesn't disappoint. Check it out.

So, uh, Charlie,

why don't we draw up designs

for your hot dog cart so it looks like a dancing dog?

Cool, maybe one could be breakdancing and it could

be a break-fast dog.

-I like it. Break-fast dog. -Breakfast dog.

-We need to come up with a plan. -Mm-hmm.

I bet if we can get Uncle Chews' phone,

the proof would be right on there.

Good idea, yeah. And then I'll get Charlie away.

That way you can get a confession out

of Uncle Chews.

-Boom. -Yeah.

-There it is. -There it is.

Operation: Prove Uncle Chews is a Liar.

Oh. the offers keep rollin' in.

[phone beeps] Whoa.

Uh-oh. This doesn't look good. I thought you had a plan.

I do, that last text was from me.

I created a fake account so we could outbid everyone else.

Genius.

[phone beeps]

She likes the offer. Fish is on the hook.

[phone beeps]

Uh-oh, fish wants to know more about me.

We're the Perezes,

and we think your house would

be perfect for us.

And our seven kids.

Seven kids? Wow, you're heroes. What do you do for a living?

Uh, my wife's a high-powered lawyer

and I'm a world-famous rodeo clown.

What? I want them to think we're fun.

That sounds like fun.

What are your kids like?

They're mathletes and athletes.

No, they should be scientists and poets.

One should have written

an award-winning children's book about a panda and an emu.

[Bethany] No, emus are creepy.

[Booder] No, emus aren't creepy.

They're the eagles of the bird world.

Booder, emus are.

Booder? Booder!

Okay, you two. Where are you?

Okay. What's going on?

Mrs. Wilson, we overheard you talking

about selling the house,

so we made up the Perezes to outbid everyone else.

You did what?

We don't want you to move.

We don't want to lose our friends either.

We were never going to sell our house.

We were just having fun dreaming.

[sighing]

There's so many memories here.

And plus, we would never move our kids away

from their incredibly loyal and incredibly nosy friends.

Why didn't you just say something instead of spying?

It would have saved you a ton of trouble

and us from that weird text conversation.

A famous rodeo clown. Really?

And seven children?

You'd have been lucky to sell to our imaginary family:

Lucy, Dory, Molly, Corey, Bailey, Haley, and Fred

would have loved it here.

[upbeat music]

Uncle Myles, I snagged Uncle Chews phone when he left

to go to the bathroom,

and I can finally prove

that he's been lying this whole time, look!

-What's up? -He's been using that app

to Photoshop a picture with him and Jam Rock.

I've got to tell Charlie and Rebecca.

-Hey, don't. Dylan-- -What's up, man?

Hey, Uncle Chews, we got to talk.

Sure, what's up?

[sighs]

I know you've been lying.

-What lying? -[Myles] This belong to you?

Now the question is, why?

Look, Myles, you've got to understand.

Growing up, Yazzy always looked up to me, and I loved that.

Then she went off to college and got married to you,

and I just wasn't that cool older brother anymore.

But then she had kids,

and that gave me someone new to look up to me.

I guess I just didn't want to lose that feeling again.

Huh. I didn't know that.

But you can't keep lying.

All right, how about I chill on the stories?

Just don't tell Yaz, okay?

I mean, she means everything to me.

I know, and I won't.

I know how special she is to you,

and I don't want to ruin that bond.

Okay, no more stories.

And you got to do something

about this hot dog situation with Charlie.

It ain't kosher.

Yeah, I went too far with that.

How about I tell him just not to.

How about I tell him?

If I leave it up to you,

you'll have him opening up

a Moroccan ice cream stand or something.

That's not a bad idea.

Just, Uncle Chews Stop it, all right?

-All right. -All right.

Charlie, promise me you'll do the culinary program,

and I'll give you whatever you want.

Whatever I want, eh? What about your cool jacket?

Yeah, sure. It's yours.

-And your... cool sneakers? -Okay.

Including the ones on your feet?

Really. these too?

Fine, but only if you do the culinary program.

-Okay. -Dylan, what's going on?

Rebecca, sit down.

I have to tell you guys something.

I don't know how to say it, so I'm just going to say it.

Uncle Chews has been lying about his stories.

[gasping]

-No! No! -Say it ain't so!

Say it ain't so, Joe!

Just kidding, we already knew.

-You what? -Yeah, Mom told us a while ago.

She did? She didn't tell me?

The truth is, I see how happy it makes him,

and I don't want to break his heart.

He's my Funcle, so I just let him be him.

Besides, he makes up the coolest handshakes,

and his stories are wild.

-Mm-hmm. -Wait, what about the mess

with you opening up a hot dog cart instead of going

to the culinary program?

You need to give me some credit.

I can look out for myself.

-Can you? -I just tricked you

out of all your stuff, didn't I?

[smooth music]

Tell me how could you have kept this from me

all this time?

I mean, look at it this way.

He gets to be the hero and you get the girl.

Yeah, I get the girl.

[chuckles smugly]

I can't believe you gave all your clothes to Charlie.

Let's not talk about it.

Charlie, can you please be careful not to spill on my gear?

You mean my gear. And now worries.

Whoops! I dripped on my drip.

Charlie, you can't play like that.

At the end of the day, that's my stuff.

[Charlie] Not really. You gave it to me,

so now it's actually technically mine.

Okay, cool. Okay, all right. See me the court.

Okay. So here it is.

I got a lot of cool nicknames, all right?

No, I mean, you ready? You ready for this?

Okay. I got M-Stacks.

-M-Stacks? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's go with M-Rocks.

-M-Rocks? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And my favorite, Money Myles.

-Money Myles? -Mm-hmm.

All right, look. I'll tell you what.

You beat me in a game of HORSE, and you can pick the nickname.

Oh, I want in on this, but if I win,

Chews has to promise not to stay away for so long,

and Myles has to take me to whatever restaurant I want.

-Deal. Deal. -[gasps] Okay, okay.

You know we're gonna lose, right?

No, we're both gonna win.

[upbeat music] [cheering]

[rousing music]

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