Original subtitles

[music]

What's with these excited girls?

That just happens when I walk into a room.

Calm down, queens, your king is here.

Wait...

Beauty Queen Boutique, that's the hottest clothing line

for teen girls, this week, anyways.

Oh yeah, they have those ridiculous commercials.

* Beauty queen girls are gorgeous girls *

* living the glamour dream

Why? 'Cause beauty is everything.

Attention, students.

This Saturday here at Young Scholar's Academy,

Beauty Queen Boutique will be holding auditions

to find their new spokesmodel.

[screaming]

Followed by an immediate photo shoot with the winner.

Apparently, they're looking for the next authentic "It Girl."

[screaming]

Mr. Elliot, should they be doing auditions in our school?

Do you like the new computer lab?

Yeah.

-This is how we paid for it. -Hmm.

Are they looking for any volunteers?

To do what?

To get the models anything they might want,

like water, or my phone number.

[laughing]

No, but the Gardening Club is looking for volunteers

to collect manure.

I'm busy whenever that's happening [laughing].

Now, if you would like to sign up for the spokesmodel audition,

please form a line-- [squealing]

[Mr. Elliot] I said a line!

Too eager.

-I can't believe this. -Me neither.

That store is perpetuating an unrealistic beauty standard,

which is a cornerstone of the male patriarchal system.

Look at this.

What teen girl would want to wear heels that high?

A man created those heels to keep women down.

Looks like they're keeping her up, way up.

That girl has to duck under clouds.

And that slogan, "Beauty Is Everything"?

That's not the kind of message

that should be sent to young women.

I mean, who would want to sign up for something like this?

Well, apparently Bethany...

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna make sure

these girls write their phone numbers down correctly.

[music]

* From the Chi, down in ATL

* Family living well

* Uncle Myles ain't understand my style *

* Had to show and tell

* Auntie Yaz said I'm good at math *

* I should never fail

* And cousin Becca she a steppa *

* Charlie rollin' with the kid *

* Yeah, ah (who?)

* You gonna love Young Dylan

* Yeah, ah (who?)

* Who gonna love Young Dylan

* Yeah, ah (who?)

* Who gonna love Young Dylan

* Yeah, ah (who?)

* You gonna love Young Dylan

* Yeah, ah (who?)

* Who gonna love Young Dylan

* Yeah, ah (who?)

* You gonna love Young Dylan

Mom, Dad.

Congratulations, you're now grandparents!

[coughing and choking]

Meet your new grandson, Charlie Jr.

Oh, hallelujah.

Boy, next time, lead with that.

For my health class, we have to bring an egg home

and treat it like a real baby.

So far, it's just making me hungry.

[laughing]

The ol' baby egg experiment.

You know, I had to do that too when I was your age.

I named my egg Baby Egg-bert.

How did you do?

Charlie, you could say I did egg-cellent.

[laughing]

I'm sorry, it's a bad yolk.

Oh!

I did it again.

[laughing]

Okay, it's not about us, it's about Charlie.

You'll think of some more.

Charlie, I'm sure you're gonna do a great job.

I hope so.

This assignment is worth 30 percent of my grade.

Well, you're responsible, supportive, and loving.

Plus, you got great teachers.

-Who, Mr. Elliot? -Us, your parents?

Oh, yeah.

Well, it's easy so far.

I found this old stroller and nanny cam in the garage.

You know what, Charlie, you're off to a good start,

but there's a lot more to parenting than that.

There's diaper changing, feeding, burping,

and more diaper changing.

Basically, what your mom is trying to say

is that raising a child is hard work.

And having a good support system helps a lot.

Your mother and I can show you everything you need to know.

I'm supposed to do this by myself.

Are you really telling your mother

she can't take care of her grandson?

Ohh-kay.

I'm gonna go put Charlie Jr. down for a nap.

By myself.

Wait, you need to give him a bottle.

I'll show you how to make one.

And you gotta learn how to swaddle, buddy.

I still can't believe Beauty Queen Boutique

is allowed to hold auditions in our school!

And I can't believe you're still talking about this.

School is a place where you learn to read and write,

not to walk and pose.

If you don't like it, don't audition.

There, problem solved.

I'm not going to audition, but my best friend is.

I can't believe Bethany wants to do this.

I can.

She's got the look.

I just wish she looked at me with it.

I know she has what it takes to model,

but not for Beauty Queen Boutique.

It's something that she wants to do.

Remember all the things Bethany did with you

that she didn't like?

No.

Okay, then let me remind you.

Hmmm, poetry readings, protests, glass blowing.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're right.

Bethany's always been there for me.

And even though this goes against what I believe in,

I'm gonna support her at the audition.

And I'm gonna support Bethany, too,

and any other cute girls who need my support.

Where did you get those jackets?

The lost and found box at school.

You didn't lose those.

No, I found 'em, and I'm keeping this one.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[music]

You're rocking him too hard.

-Here, let me show you how-- -Shh, he's asleep.

It's because he's probably...

Eggs-hausted.

[Myles and Yasmine laughing]

Baby, we should probably walk on eggshells.

[laughing]

I knew you could do it.

Ah! Got it.

I'm tired too.

We can egg-sit Charlie Jr. while you take a nap.

Are you sure you got that?

Excuse you?

We raised two babies, not eggs, babies.

That was a long time ago.

Rebecca and I pretty much take care of ourselves now.

We're also raising a Young Dylan.

You're hired.

I feel like he was questioning our parenting skills.

A little bit, yeah.

But it's okay, because you know what?

We are the king and queen of responsible parenting.

[Yasmine giggling]

[egg cracking]

[gasping]

Tell me that's not what I think it was?

Hurry up and read.

We have to find out how they put Humpty Dumpty

-back together again. -Okay, okay.

[music]

-And pose. -And pose.

-Mr. Elliot, and pose. -And pose.

Enough!

And pose.

Sorry, you're not what we're looking for.

Next!

Rebecca, I know you didn't want to come,

but thanks for the support.

I'll always be there for you.

I'm actually pretty nervous.

-If you need a hand to hold-- -I'm not that nervous.

-[Andre] Next. -Next.

[Andre clears throat]

[gasps]

[Andre] This one doesn't even know how to walk.

Sorry, you're not what we're looking for.

Try clown school.

[mocking laughter]

Oh, try not to trip on your way out.

Next.

Let's go.

No way.

No one talks to my best friend like that.

Who are you?

Someone who thinks you're the worst.

-Is that right? -Yeah, it is.

Your company tells girls that the only thing that matters

is what they wear on the outside, and that's a lie.

And what should we be telling them?

Beauty isn't everything, it's just one thing.

And for the record, my friend Bethany

is the most beautiful person I know.

You owe her an apology.

You're exactly what we're looking for.

Perfect.

-I am? -She is?

Yes.

Congratulations, you are the new

Beauty Queen Boutique spokesmodel.

[light applause]

If you need a shoulder to cry on, I got two.

Okay.

You want me to be the Beauty Queen Boutique spokesmodel?

Yes.

But I just told you your company is terrible.

I know, you weren't afraid to drag us.

And that's exactly what we're looking for.

Confidence.

But I'm not interested.

You're not interested in becoming rich and famous?

Well, I mean--

Of course she is.

What are you doing?

Being your manager.

You're not my manager, nor do I need one.

Yes, you do.

You were about to turn down being rich and famous.

I just need a moment to talk to my client.

Dylan, this goes against everything I believe in.

Just think, we can use the extra money for our label,

and then we can use your fame

to let the whole world know about our music.

We really could use the money and the exposure.

But wouldn't it hurt Bethany's feelings if I got the job

and she didn't?

Bethany will support you just like you supported her.

And I'm sure she'll think it's a pretty good idea.

What an offensive idea, right?

The nerve of them to ask you to do this.

How tone-deaf could they be?

-Let's go. -Well...

[Bethany] Well, what?

Dylan made a good point. Rare, I know.

All right, man, I'm gonna start taking this personally.

So what was his idea?

I could use this gig to boost our record label,

which really needs it.

So you're gonna sell out for money and fame?

Maybe I can change the company from the inside.

Will you support me like I supported you?

Sure.

I guess if it's not gonna be me up here,

it might as well be you.

Excuse me, do you have an answer?

I have a phone sesh with Beyonce in five,

and you do not make Queen Bey wait.

Yes, I accept the position.

But I won't be just another pretty face,

Yeah, yeah, save it for the runway.

We'll be in touch.

Tell the queen I say hello! [laughing]

[music]

[music]

Okay, okay, baby?

I got the last carton of eggs.

Had to fight a really strong old lady for it, though.

Honey, are you eating scrambled eggs?

You said to get rid of the evidence.

You just ate our grandson.

Oh!

He's an only child.

Where are the eggs.

Fine, look, okay, look, all we have to do now

is draw on Charlie Jr.'s face.

So do you remember what he looks like?

Of course, I have pictures.

What?

I'm a proud grandma.

Here's a close-up.

Here we go, yep, yep, that's it.

-That's not right. -That's it.

-No, he looks asleep. -No, baby.

You're not drawing him right.

[arguing]

Baby, I know I saw one.

I think it rolled under the couch.

[crunching]

Where is it?

Under my foot.

Okay.

[Yasmine] Oh, there's one in the egg carton.

-Okay. -[Charlie] Mom, Dad?

You clean, I'll draw.

No no no, you clean, I'll draw.

No, no, clean.

[arguing]

[Yasmine] I'm gonna draw.

What's going on down here?

[Yasmine] Nothing, just being responsible grandparents.

[Myles] That's about it, you know?

Well, glad you're taking care of Charlie Jr.,

but I should probably take care of him now.

No no no no no, it's okay, it's okay.

You go relax, yeah.

You look tired.

Really?

I just took a three-hour nap.

You're probably tired from all that sleeping.

I have a list of things I need to do for Charlie Jr.

I gotta get everything right.

I can't afford a bad grade on this.

Don't worry about it, don't worry about it,

yep, we're gonna take care of that for you.

Because we are amazing grandparents.

It's what we do.

Now that you're a parent, you know what?

You can play that videogame that you've always wanted to play.

Do that.

Being a parent really is easy!

I don't know what you guys are always complaining about.

You know how long this list is?

Oh, yeah, because you're gonna be doing it.

-No, that's you. No, baby! -Oh, no! It's all you!

[music]

My goodness, don't you look gorgeous.

Just fabulous, an absolute vision.

My vision is limited with these lashes.

Trust me, you are everything and then some,

the whole package.

Thank you, I think.

Do you need anything?

We can get you whatever you want.

You're the queen now, just command it.

-Anything? -Anything.

So if I wanted cheesecake from the Cheesecake Cabana

across town, instead of the not-so-good one

across the street?

You.

Bring cheesecake from the better Cheesecake Cabana across town.

Now.

Cool.

[loud fall]

And I can fire him when he gets back, if you want.

-Just say the word, darling. -[phone rings]

Oh, I have to take this, it's Ariana.

I told her all about you.

Ari, you look fabulous, an absolute vision.

Shoo, shoo, my people are here.

I'm not your people.

I'm a manager.

You're not a manager, either.

That's not what my business card says.

So, you ready for your big photo shoot?

With the way I look right now, I think the answer is obvious.

I thought those high heels were created by a man

to keep women down?

They're not that bad.

Besides, aren't they cute?

So when you wear them, they aren't that bad?

Don't you think that's a little hypocritical?

Maybe a little, but I can't help it

if that's how they want the face of the company to look.

The point is, Rebecca is only doing this for our record label.

She's still the same annoying moral compass she's always been.

So the theme of the photo shoot is how looking good at school

is more important than doing good in school,

so we want you in this "Beauty Is Everything" jacket.

Oh, I love that!

[giggles]

Looks like that compass has a little crack.

-Bellissima. -[laughing]

[music]

Oh, how was your walk?

[Myles chortles]

Yeah, that, uh, five-mile walk you said Charlie Jr. needed

was about four and a half miles too long.

Did you finish everything else?

We read stories, sang him songs, made a dozen tiny diapers

that we changed every 20 minutes.

Well, glad he's back.

-Can I hold him now? -[yelling] No!

Because, uh.

Chickenpox, he's got chickenpox.

Yeah, from the chicken he came out of.

Is there something you two want to tell me?

Huh-uh.

Really?

Well, there's something that I...

want to show you...

what I saw on...

the nanny cam.

I thought this was an air freshener.

Oh.

So you knew this whole time?

And you still made us do all your egg baby chores?

Oh yeah.

How else are you gonna learn your lesson?

And what lesson do we need to learn?

You need to let me do this by myself.

I appreciate the help,

but if I don't learn to do this on my own,

I'll never learn how to do it.

Wow, you know what, you're right.

We were so busy trying to give you advice,

that we didn't even look at it that way.

And I'm really sorry I sat on my grandson.

You didn't.

I have the real Charlie Jr. right here.

Wow, so you didn't trust us at all?

Listen, I think you're great parents.

You're just not ready to be grandparents.

And you did forget me at the mall when I was three.

[music]

Okay, okay, I'm ready to do this.

You heard her, people.

Our supermodel is ready to roll.

-Ready to roll! -Not yet!

-And pose. -And pose.

-And pose. -Pose.

-And pose. -And pose.

And stop!

Can someone take that "Reading is always fun" poster down?

No one wants to see that garbage in the background.

Who reads anyway? [laughing]

Wow.

He just said reading was garbage and Rebecca didn't even flinch.

- [Andre] And pose. - [Mr. Elliot] Pose.

- [Andre] And pose. - [Mr. Elliot] Pose.

Now throw that textbook down and put on lipstick.

[Mr. Elliot] Throw it.

[Andre] More glamour.

You're here to find a boyfriend.

You're not a student, you're a queen.

-You don't need school. -[phone rings]

Hold on, it's corporate.

Take five, people.

Hard five.

Somebody get me some water.

Yo, did I create a monster?

Dylan, the queen is thirsty.

Sure did, Dr. Frankenstein.

[Andre laughing] Oh, Rebecca's great.

We've pampered her for five minutes

and she's already turning into the perfect little diva.

Honey, by the time we're done with her,

she's not even gonna care about school

and every young girl across the country

is gonna spend their college money to look like her.

[laughing] We're gonna be rich!

Uh, we're already rich, but a little more never hurt.

[evil laughing]

Ciao. [blows kiss]

This was a mistake.

We're getting Rebecca outta here.

Say less.

[screaming]

Um, I need to speak to my client. [nervous laughing]

Models only.

[music]

[music]

[music]

Uh, Rebecca.

Dylan?

Bethany?

-[Andre] Pose. -[Mr. Elliot] Pose.

We have to tell you something.

We were wrong about this job.

-You have to quit. -What, why?

This is not who you are.

They're trying to turn you into some kind of diva.

I'm not a diva.

-[Andre] Pose. -[Mr. Elliot] Pose.

-Pose. -Pose.

[Dylan] You might have forgotten who you are,

but we're here to remind you.

You're the girl who stands up for what she thinks is right.

None of this is right.

Can you please stop talking?

Models don't talk.

Wait, models don't talk?

Oh, honey, no.

Parrots talk, dogs walk, and models model.

Now just stand there, be quiet,

and look pretty, oh so pretty.

I will stand here and look pretty.

But I will not be silent, because I have something to say.

So I'll say it again.

Beauty isn't everything, it's one thing.

And I don't want to be part of a company

who only cares about image.

Like a lot of young girls,

I got caught up and lost myself in the hype.

But not anymore.

[Andre] Fine, leave.

There's a million other desperate models

who want this job.

How about you?

Go on, give her the jacket.

I'm sorry, your company is not what I'm looking for.

[Andre] What, what are you doing?

Where are you going?

[Mr. Elliot] Wait for me, children!

And the little chicken lived happily ever after.

I think Charlie Jr.'s finally asleep.

-Where are we? -Yep, fell off the wall.

Maybe you two should go upstairs.

You've had a long day.

I guess we have.

Goodnight, Charlie.

Goodnight, Charlie Jr.

Thanks for being great parents.

I learned everything I know from you two.

Oh, thank you.

All right, little man.

[yawning] Oh, boy.

[yawning]

Let's find another story.

Oh, hey, guys. where have you been?

At school, I was a model.

Oh, cool, I'm a dad now.

Cool.

Hey, sorry I judged you only to sell myself out for fame.

I was a bad friend.

It's okay.

You made it right.

Hold on, I made it right.

Of course you make this about you.

What?

I care about my cousins.

And from now on, I won't do anything to hurt you guys.

-[egg cracking] -Ow.

-You just sat on Charlie Jr. -Who's Charlie Jr.?

-Your cousin. -My cousin?

Oh, he didn't even make it to egg kindergarten.

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]