Original subtitles

[music]

[Voice on TV] Night of The Dragon,

-press play to begin. -Oh, no.

Is it that time of year again?

- Night of Dragon! -Night of Dragon!

You guys seriously have to do this every year?

Rebecca, if your father and Dylan

want to stay up all night

and watch their silly punch-kick movies,

let 'em have their fun.

They're called Kung-Fu movies.

And yes, we have to do this every year.

Where did this obsession come from, anyway?

Um, not an obsession.

A healthy appreciation of fine art.

- Fine art? - Yes, fine art!

Night of the Dragon

is one of the highest grossing films of all time.

So is Fast Cars Five.

I've seen that movie multiple times,

and let me tell you it isn't fine art.

When me and Dylan's mom were kids,

we went to a midnight showing of Night of the Dragon.

And we loved the movie so much that every year

on the same night,

we'd stay up 'til midnight and do it all over again.

And when I was born, she did the same thing with me.

Aww.

Well, it's nice that you two can bond over something

that you both shared with Darlene.

Just try not to be too loud,

and save some energy for work and school.

And don't forget we've got family game day on Saturday!

Oh, yeah!

I wouldn't miss family game day for anything.

Y'all better watch out this weekend.

And we all agreed...

We're not inviting Grandma Viola this time, right?

[All] Oh, yeah.

Whoa, time out. Flag on the play.

You know that's my mama you're talkin' about, right?

Yeah, and she's my grandma.

But last time we had her over for game day,

she beat us at almost every single game we played.

Facts. And when she thought she was going to lose,

she threw her bagel across the room.

You have no idea how hard it is

to get cream cheese out of an afro.

I get it, got it. Okay, no problem.

We're all good for Saturday.

Thank you.

Well, I'm going to bed.

Charlie and Rebecca, if you want to stay up

with Dylan and your dad to watch Night of the Dragon,

knock yourselves out.

[All] Goodnight.

[music]

♪ There once was a kid from the city of Chi ♪

♪ Mom knew I was cool and not a regular guy ♪

♪ Everybody follow me I'm gonna take you on a trip ♪

♪ Buckle up Let's go ♪

♪ I'mma give you all a hit

♪ I'm a star came up from a block of Chai Town ♪

♪ Livin' large

♪ I'm tryin' to balance school and these bars ♪

- ♪ Came far - ♪ Ain't no better feelin'

♪ I told 'em you gon' love Young Dylan ♪

♪ Young Dylan Young Dylan ♪

♪ Young Dylan Young Dylan ♪

♪ Young Dylan Young Dylan ♪

♪ Tell 'em you gon' love Young Dylan ♪

Tomorrow's a school day, you sure you're gonna be good?

Uncle Myles, I've been doing this my whole life...

I'mma be a'ight.

Still got a little while 'til midnight.

What do you wanna do?

You ever played Ninja Stance before?

- Yeah, I don't think so. - Check this out.

The game is simple.

When someone yells out, "Ninja Stance!"

Everyone's supposed to get into whatever ninja stance

- they can come up with. - [Myles] Okay.

And freeze in place.

- [Myles] Okay. - Like this.

Ninja Stance!

Ninja Stance.

Okay, good!

Now we take turns trying to slap each person's hand.

Kinda hard to do when we're frozen.

Man look, you can unfreeze to attack or dodge,

but then you have to freeze in place again.

So, let's go slow.

Okay. Okay.

Ninja Stance! Okay.

Now you're gonna try to slap my hand...

And I'm gonna move out of the way...

[Myles] Uh-huh.

Then, whatever position we end up in,

we have to stay in until I move to attack you.

And the same thing happens,

but now it's my turn to attack and you dodge.

Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah, I got it. Okay.

- [Dylan] Okay. - Yeah, let's try one.

- Okay, come on. - All right, you ready?

Ninja Stance!

[Myles] Okay! Okay!

Now why...

[music]

[Charlie] Whoa, you are dragging.

I guess they call it

Night of the Dragon for a reason!

Chuckles. You're not funny.

I'm a little funny.

Man, I only got a couple more classes

to get through,

then I can go straight to bed when we get home.

Okay class, I'll be subbing for Ms. Shipley today.

She told me that you all have been talking about

three newly discovered species of spiders...

The Skeletorus, the Elphans,

and the Sparklemuffin.

Yes, their names are quite funny.

However, it appears these aren't their real names,

but nicknames given to them

because of three visual appearances.

Now these spiders are known as peacock spiders,

and they love to dance!

-Also, they can be quite small. -[Dylan snoring]

Also, they have wonderful colors as well.

Now, they use these colors

to protect themselves from predators,

as well as a way to show their worth

to the spider that they love most.

They dance beautifully, using their legs...

Man, you almost gave me a heart attack!

Well, maybe next time, you'll think before

falling asleep in class.

What? I mean... No, no, no, no.

I wasn't sleeping, I was just watching my eyelids.

Nice try, Dylan.

But you'll be joining me tomorrow in Saturday School.

Saturday!

You're gonna miss family game night!

[grunting aggressively]

Mr. Elliot, Mr. Elliot, Mr. Elliot!

Mr. Elliot!

I only fell asleep for a couple minutes, I promise.

I can't get Saturday School, we family game day tomorrow!

Please, there has to be something I can do.

If you can name one of the spiders

we talked about today, maybe I'll reconsider.

All right.

Just give me a second.

The Itsy-bitsy!

You know.

The itsy-bity spider went up the water spout

[laughing] Dylan, Dylan, Dylan.

I'll see you tomorrow at Saturday School.

Saturday School?

I can't believe this.

Well, I guess that means you're going to

have to miss family game day.

What?! No!

Can't you call Mr. Elliot and tell him what happened?

Tell him what?

That you and me stayed up watching Night of the Dragon.

I would have never fallen asleep otherwise.

Well... Maybe you wouldn't have.

But you did.

Dylan, I asked you if you were gonna be able to handle it,

and you said you'd be fine, so...

That's on you. No, Dylan.

You gotta take responsibility for your actions.

Come on, Uncle Myles! I'm gonna miss family game day!

I'm sorry, Dylan.

Man, this is bogus!

Excuse me.

[Myles] Hey!

Lose the attitude.

Yes, sir.

Well, that could've gone better.

Well, hey, guys. Listen.

I have a crispy 10 dollar bill for the first person

who can sling me a snickerdoodle.

[music]

Dylan! Come on, man.

You gotta be at Saturday School in 15 minutes.

- Baby? - [Myles] Yeah?

You don't think you were

a little tough on Dylan yesterday?

Maybe sometimes a kid needs tough love.

Yeah, but Dylan doesn't always respond well to that.

Yeah, I know.

But if he wants a little more freedom,

he's gotta take a little more responsibility.

Just trust me on this one. Okay?

- You ready to go? - Yes, sir.

All right, let's get it.

See you later, Dylan.

Hey. Are you guys okay?

You could help.

Bad back.

Didn't have a bad back earlier.

Remember, don't tell your mom about family game day, okay?

I won't.

Hey, baby.

Hey, y'all. I just came by to... Wait a minute.

Y'all having family game day?

Mama, you gotta quit surprisin' us like that.

[music]

[music]

Mr. Young, glad to see you could make it.

Well... Did I have a choice?

No. Go ahead and take a seat.

Grab a sandwich. My mother made them.

Yo, Bethany!

What are you doing in here?

Remember when you waved at me in the hallway,

and I turned and ran off?

Well, I got in trouble for running in the hallways.

This is kinda like our first date.

Excuse me.

No, no, no.

[Dylan] Do it.

So, you want my sandwich?

No. Never, no.

If you're not going to eat it, I'll take it.

Christian, what are you even doing?

Well, by 11 o'clock, all of you will be hungry.

And I'll be the one selling the sandwiches.

What?!

Don't hate me 'cause I'm enterprising.

[music]

Hey, Myles. Right on time.

Why don't you come on in here help me get some snacks

for family game day?

And you three can pick out

whatever game you wanna lose at first.

Y'all heard my mama. Pick, pick, pick, pick.

What's up, mama?

I heard about Dylan.

Oh, yeah, it's a shame.

You know, I mean...

But he wanted to stay up late and watch the movie,

you know, sohe fell asleep in class and now he gotta deal.

Okay. Well, let me ask you.

You don't think you played a part in all this?

What do you mean?

Well, didn't you give him permission to stay up late,

watching Kung Fu-y or whatever it was?

Night of the Dragon, Mom.

And didn't you stay up late with him?

Yeah, I mean... Yeah, but...

But what?

You say you want Dylan to be more responsible,

maybe you should lead by example.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe?

Baby, I'm always right.

Now make yourself useful and get me some tissues.

'Cause I'mma beat Yasmine so bad, she gon' cry...

Again.

[music]

Hey, how you doin'?

I'm Dylan's Uncle Myles. Not sure if you remember.

But I was wondering if you could help me out.

Salutations!

I am Mr. Elliot.

How may I be of service?

Okay...

Yeah. Anyway.

: I know there's been kind of a misunderstanding.

I know Dylan fell asleep in class the other day,

but it's actually, like, my fault.

I let him stay up late with me the other night,

watching Night of the Dragon.

Great movie. Have you seen it?

Mr. Myles, I assure you I am well versed

in the cinematic and box office success

that is Night of the Dragon.

My man. My man!

- All right. - Woo!

Yeah.

All right then. All right.

Oh, hey, get down with it. All right.

So I was wonderin', you know, since we have this lil bond,

if you could let Dylan off the hook?

- No! - That's what I'm talkin' about!

Wait, no.

What you mean no? What you mean?

If I let him go, I'd have to let everyone go.

- I'm okay with that! - Sit down.

You're really not going to help me out?

I'm sorry.

Well, you know what, Mr. Elliot?

If you're gonna punish Dylan, then you gotta punish me.

Because I'm just as much at fault for him

falling asleep in class as he is. So, guess what?

I'm doing Saturday School, too.

Just one moment, sir!

You think you can just walk in here

and punish yourself to Saturday School?

Yes.

Then I must insist you have one of my mother's sandwiches.

Dylan. Dylan.

You're not supposed to talk in Saturday School.

It's Christian.

You gonna eat that?

[music]

Three.

- Four! - Five!

Six!

Hah! Suckas, I win!

Grandma, we were just rolling to see who picks the first game.

I know. Me.

This is a win.

All right, let's get game day on the road.

Who's ready for they butt whooped first?

You are!

[music]

Thank you.

No...

Thank you.

That's game.

Dang it!

I'm so sorry to do this to you, baby.

Oh, come on!

Actually, this don't feel too bad.

[Viola] That's a flush!

The only thing that can beat that is...

This!

[Rebecca] No way! A royal flush?!

Be better.

[phone ringing]

Whose phone is that?

[phone ringing]

Whose phone is that, really?!

Mr. Myles?

Mr. Elliot, I think it's coming from your desk.

Oh, right.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Hi, Mom.

No, you may not throw them out.

They are not toys, they are my props!

Because I am a thespian!

No! No!

I said no!

I'll be right there! Mr. Myles, you're the oldest.

I'm going to have to leave you in charge.

I have an emergency at home.

Dylan.

Hey bro, I think your uncle is trying to talk to you.

Well, tell him I don't wanna talk to him.

He says he doesn't wanna talk to you.

But tell Bethany I do wanna talk to her.

Dylan said...

Well, can you ask Dylan

when he thinks he might be ready to talk to me?

He wants to know when you'll be ready to talk to him.

When Bethany is ready to talk to me.

A long time.

Dylan, come on, man. I'm trying to talk to you.

You didn't want to talk yesterday.

Yeah, but I'm tryin' to talk now, aren't I?

You could have tried to help me out last night,

but you didn't and now I'm stuck here in Saturday School,

missing game day, bored out of my mind.

Dude's got a point. Saturday School is whack.

Facts.

Okay, well, I mean... It doesn't have to be boring.

It kinda does. That's the whole point.

Well, all right. Well, let's change that.

Right now. All right? Yeah.

Come on. [clapping]

How 'bout we play Ninja Stance?

Careful!

Hush now, little girl. I know the rules.

If the tower falls, you lose.

Be quiet so I can concentrate.

Maybe you should've gone for that other piece.

Charlie...

I know where you sleep.

[music]

[Rebecca] She knocked the tower down!

I can't believe I share the same blood

as you two cheaters!

Yasmine, I can understand. But you two?!

We beat Grandma! We beat Grandma!

I take no pleasure in this, boo.

Hi-ya!

[Christian] Oh, no!

[music]

You're gonna have to be quicker than that.

[clapping]

Yo, Unc. That was so tough.

Where'd you learn all those moves?

Please. I've been watching Kung-Fu flicks

since before you were born.

- Respect. - Pretty good for an old guy.

All right, al lright, look, look, look. Um...

I want to apologize for yesterday.

You know, I was grillin' you about taking responsibility

without even taking responsibility

for my own actions.

Thanks, Uncle Myles. I'm sorry for raising my voice.

Yeah.

I appreciate you sayin' that.

- We cool? - [Dylan] We cool.

All right.

Round two?!

Three, two, one! Ninja Stance!

What is going on here?!

Exactly! You know how many times I told them

to sit down somewhere?

This looks like a game of Ninja Stance.

And I'm very upset...

Because you didn't invite me! This is my favorite game!

Ninja Stance!

[music]

How was Saturday School?

It was liiiiii...ty!

We played Ninja Stance!

How did game day go?

I'm trying to find a better word than awesome.

But yeah, it was pretty awesome.

Yeah! We finally beat Granny V!

Okay, I see y'all!

Oh, yeah!

Game day ain't over yet!

Mom?

Where'd everybody go?

I'll wait.

Y'all can come out now.

[music]