Original subtitles

So, in conclusion,

my old beat machine is like...

Your car, Uncle Myles!

Slow and ugly.

The new beat machine is like a Ferrari,

fast and pretty.

and they make fire beats.

And that's why you should

get me a beat machine for my birthday.

Thank you for your time.

I will now open the floor for questions and comments.

Yeah, I have a comment.

First of all, Mathilda is not slow and ugly.

She's a reliable car that has feelings.

And hopefully she hasn't heard you,

because she might not start today.

Thank you, Dylan, for that hour long presentation.

-It was riveting. -Mm-hmm.

But your birthday still is two weeks away,

and your Uncle Myles and I need to make sure

whatever gift we get you is special,

meaningful, and educational.

As you can see, Mama Yaz,

I covered all those things

in sections seven through nine.

And why the beat machine is also educational,

motivational, and fun.

Yeah, you should have said "recreational".

'Cause it rhymes.

Now everybody wanna be a critic?

Great job, Dylan.

We'll look over your proposal and get back to you.

Okay, but.

Don't sleep on this,

they could be all sold out,

and then you guys would feel really bad,

and I would hate that for you guys.

I'm sure you would. Okay, all right, now.

Yep, yep. We got it. Don't worry about it.

You can go.

Mm-hmm, all right. Watch yourself.

There you go. All right.

You know what?

If this kid spent half as much time

doin' his homework as he did on his presentation,

he'd be gettin' A's!

Well, I can't wait to see his face when

he opens his gift and sees that we actually got him

the beat machine he wants.

I know, I know. He's gonna flip.

Did you hide it in a good spot?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah...

Yeah. Yeah.

Unc only has one hiding spot.

Oh, baby.

Wanna try my new cookie creation?

Wow! Mm.

If it tastes as good as it smells,

you have a winner, Chuckles!

See for yourself.

Wow!

Great job, Chuckles!

Sorry, can't stay for long.

I have a top secret mission I need to complete.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

♪ There once was a kid from the city of Chi ♪

♪ Mom knew I was cool and not a regular guy ♪

♪ Everybody follow me I'm gonna take you on a trip ♪

♪ Buckle up Let's go ♪

♪ I'ma give you all a hit

♪ I'm a star came up from a block of Chi Town ♪

♪ Livin' large

♪ I try to balance school and these bars ♪

- ♪ I came far -♪ Ain't no better feelin'

♪ I told 'em you gon' love Young Dylan ♪

♪ Young Dylan, Young Dylan Young Dylan, Young Dylan ♪

♪ Young Dylan ♪ Young Dylan

♪ Tell 'em you gon' love Young Dylan ♪

[music]

Oh, what up?

-What are you doing? -Oh, nothing...

Is that the new beat machine you've been asking for?!

How did you get it?! Do Mom and Dad know?!

Promise me you won't say anything!

What did you do?

Well, I found out where Uncle Myles hid

my birthday present, and I opened it.

You should put it back.

If they find out, you'll be in big trouble!

Wait. Why am I telling you this?

All of Mom and Dad's rules are because of you!

Whatever.

Besides, if they don't find out, I have a few weeks

to get used to everything it can do!

But if they do, you'll lose it and never get a chance

to make dope beats that only this thing can make.

What is it?

It's Mystery X!

My old rival from the online battle.

He just dropped his new mixtape!

I can't fall behind.

Young Dylan ain't goin' out like that!

And this baby, this new beat machine...

Is gonna help.

-Ooh! -Mm.

Charlie! You're in here baking up a storm.

And it smells delicious, too.

-Mm. -Mm.

-Thanks. Wanna try it? -Oh well, I don't mind if I do.

Oh snap, wow. Charlie, these are delicious!

-[Yasmine]: Mm. -These are amazing!

It's what you kids would say is "slammin'"!

Hey, we said slammin', too. We ain't that old.

Actually...

Rebecca, try Charlie's new cookie!

Try that. Yes.

Wow! Charlie, these things are...

Bussin'!

Don't... Don't do that, Dad.

It came to me in a dream,

ginger vanilla cherry snickerdoodles.

-So, you like it, huh? -Like it?

I tell you man, these things are phenomenal!

Wait a second.

Wait a second. Yo.

We can serve these this year at our annual rummage sale

at the neighborhood block party.

And we can finally beat the Millers!

-Yes! -Ugh.

The Millers always have the most popular house

in the neighborhood.

And they always rub our faces in it, too.

Last year, they had a petting zoo.

-Right, hmm. -And the year before that,

they had a martial arts demonstration with real ninjas!

Yeah, don't worry about it. Not this year, Millers!

With Charlie's cookies as our secret weapon,

we gon' be the most popular house in the neighborhood.

You think my cookies can beat ninjas?

Let me tell you somethin', Charlie.

These cookies are so good,

They will make ninjas surrender and cry!

That's how good these cookies are.

Hm, "make ninjas surrender and cry."

That's good, Dad!

I'll use that for my social media campaign!

I can't wait to see Sherry Miller's face

when she sees our driveway filled with people,

and hers empty and sad.

And with all the traffic we bring in,

we'll be able to sell everything at our rummage sale!

We're going to beat the Millers!

[all]: We're going to beat the Millers!

[music]

Ooh, okay.

♪

♪ Ay, look, Uh, look ♪

♪ Say I'm wit you then I'm wit you ♪

♪ Bro, Young Dylan ain't do no switchin' ♪

♪ Keep that mop, that bucket no slippin' ♪

♪ My neck got water my outfit drippin' ♪

♪ Ooh, kill these beats and I got... ♪

[wonky music]

No!

-Everything okay, Dylan? -Yeah, you texted that it...

Was an emergency?

No, everything is not okay! We have a huge problem.

We do?! What is it?

My precious baby.

I spilled water on my beat machine.

Hold on. The beat machine that I told you not to open

because something like this might happen?

Wait, what's going on?

Dylan found the birthday present Mom and Dad got him,

and opened it.

No!

Okay, okay. We don't have time for all this.

We need to figure out what to do,

so Uncle Myles and Auntie Yasmine don't find out.

And just so you know, if Mom and Dad do find out

that you opened your present early,

you can forget about getting any cool gifts for a while.

I found a birthday present once, and opened it early.

For the next three years, all I got was socks.

And they were the ugliest socks ever.

You guys are tryin' to scare me, right?

I need your help.

Come on, I was there for you when you broke

Mama Yaz's favorite coffee mug, remember?

Yeah, and you only said you would help me

if I got Bethany to go out with you.

True, but when you told me no,

I still helped you replace it.

Because you said you would remind me of that day,

and force me to help you somehow!

And today is that day, cousin!

music

So, I'm bidding on a used version of

my beat machine online.

And I'm battling it out with Mystery X,

and he keeps outbidding me!

What do you want me to do?

I need you to sit down,

and get on, and start bidding.

Hopefully, it should scare him away

if two people are bidding against him.

What is the bidding been up to so far?

It's almost up to what it really costs.

Then why don't you just buy a new one?

Because I already checked everywhere!

They're all sold out!

This is the only one I could find.

And my last chance at getting a replacement.

Get on, the bidding is almost finished!

Calm down!

If you had just listened to me in the first place,

you wouldn't even be in this mess.

Five more seconds, Rebecca!

We have the highest bid! We're gonna beat 'em!

Five, four, three, two...

Oh, no! He outbid us at the last second!

Man! No, no, no!

NO!!

Dylan.

I think you just need to come clean to Mom and Dad.

But if I come clean,

I'll get socks on my birthday for the next three years!

There has to be another way!

You're just digging a deeper hole.

It's Mystery X,

he's willing to sell me his beat machine!

For three times what it's worth?!

I can't afford that!

Face it, Dylan.

You've got yourself a one way ticket to Sockville.

Population, you!

[music]

Myles! Stop eating the cookies!

I'm sorry, they're so good!

Charlie, let me tell you somethin'.

The line for your cookies are going to be around the block.

And I can't wait to see the Millers' face

when our driveway packed, and theirs empty!

And with all that foot traffic,

we'll be able to sell out our rummage sale

faster than anyone on the block!

-It's a win-win! -That's right.

And making the Millers squirm is just a bonus!

Mom, Dad! Look!

I found it while I was putting up fliers

for Charlie's cookies around the block.

What?

The Millers got a Hawaiian shaved ice truck

for the fair?!

The Millers!

What are we gonna do?

I'll tell you what. What we're not gonna do,

is we're not gonna lose to the Millers again!

That's what we're not gonna do.

-No, we aren't. -No, we're not.

Think, think, think. Think, think, think.

Ooh, ooh! I got it, I got it.

I'm gonna hire these skydivers that my company used

last year at the picnic.

Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah.

But Dad, what about my cookies?

Don't you think they're enough to beat them?

Well, Charlie, yes, yes. Your cookies are great,

but we're gonna need something extra

to beat the Millers, 'kay?

Hello? Hi, Jumping Jack? Yes, hi,

I'm gonna need ten of your best skydivers.

Oh, that's terrible.

Into a train?

So, nine will do.

"Dear Mystery X,

if you're still willing to sell me your beat machine

at that crazy high, super ridiculous price,

I think I'll have money for it soon.

P.S., did I mention that it is a super,

crazy, ridiculous high price?"

Send.

[music]

Baby!

I can't wait to see the looks on the Millers' faces

when the skydivers I hired come parachuting

down into our driveway. Boom!

They aren't gonna know what hit 'em.

Would you look at that.

Baby, look.

They hired hula dancers to go with the shaved ice truck!

Okay, okay, Millers! I see you!

I see you!

Listen, doesn't matter. Hula dancers?

Ain't gonna compare to what we got!

Wait and see!

Mm-hmm.

-Baby? -What's up?

Are you sure about these skydivers?

I want to beat the Millers just as much as you,

but maybe we should just let Charlie's cookies

be our thing.

He was super excited for everyone to try,

and win or lose, they are amazing.

Baby, that's what the skydivers are for!

Okay? Look.

Skydivers, flash. Charlie's cookies, bang!

Trust me on this.

We're winnin' this... Mom!

What are you doing? Why are you at the Millers'?!

Getting some shaved ice and some hula lessons.

Here, hold this.

Did you know that hula is a form of story telling?

And my hips have some stories to tell.

Tell you what, Mama. Come here, let me talk to you.

Come on, come on!

Hey, Charlie. You okay?

You seem a little down.

I just thought Dad really believed in my cookies.

He does, Charlie.

He's just so caught up in beating the Millers,

that he forgot how amazing they are.

-You really think so? -Trust me.

The moment people start trying them,

we're going to be the hit of the block.

I hope you're right.

Trust me, I am.

Wait.

Dylan, you're selling your records?

And your autographed Bears and Bulls jerseys?

And your Queen Star poster?!

Look, you snuck outta the house to get this.

I heard if things don't give you joy,

you just have to get rid of them.

But all these things do bring you joy.

Yeah, I mean, you never stop

talking about your autographed jerseys.

What's going on?

Okay, let's see here.

Ooh! A real sports shirt!

Oh, there's something on it. It's written.

This is really theatrical.

This would be perfect for my sports musical,

♪ Put the Ball Down and Dance!

-I'll give you twenty. -Twenty?!

This jersey is worth at least 200!

Ah!

Did this chap win an Oscar or something?

Okay.

How about the sports tunic over there,

with the scary bear on it?

I'll give you forty.

Forty?!

For an autographed Justin Fields jersey?!

Are you kidding me?!

It's at least worth 500!

I believe our business has concluded.

I bid you ado.

Okay, young lady. Hey, how you doin'.

None of this stuff is for sale. Thank you.

I said it... I said it's not...

Ow!

She's a Miller.

Dylan, what's goin' on?

[Yasmine]: Dylan?

I found the birthday present you and Uncle Myles got for me.

Master of hiding things, huh?

Okay, all right, so you found it,

but why are you selling your prized possessions?

'Cause I opened it, and started using it.

Then I accidentally spilled water on it

and it broke. And I couldn't fix it.

So, my next plan was to replace it with a new one,

but now the dude is selling it for triple the price.

So, you were selling all this stuff to pay for it?

Yeah.

You should have just been honest with us, Dylan.

Yeah, man, a beat machine can be replaced.

But these are priceless because they mean so much.

To you.

Dylan, put all this stuff away.

You're not selling any of it.

Wait. So, I'm not in trouble?

Oh, you're in trouble.

And you won't be getting a beat machine

anytime soon. Ugly socks.

Do you realize you didn't just ruin your present

for yourself, but you ruined

a wonderful moment your Uncle and I

were hoping to share with you?

Sometimes giving a gift is just as rewarding as getting one.

Growing up means thinking of others more than yourself.

And I hope out of all this, you learn that lesson the most.

I did.

Thanks, Mama Yaz.

Ooh, boy...

Yeah, Mama Yaz, I made that same mistake.

Charlie! Rebecca!

I want to apologize. To the both of you.

I know you guys worked very hard

for our house to be the best house on the block,

and I took that away from you with the skydivers.

I'm sorry.

So, I just texted them

and told them to forget about coming,

'cause we're gonna beat those Millers

with your cookies alone!

[all]: The Millers!

But I still haven't sold any of my cookies!

I know how to get the word out!

Mr. Elliot, try this homemade cookie.

Ooh.

My goodness, it's as if someone baked a dream

into a cookie!

Have you all tried this amazing confection?!

Get them before they're all gone!

I'll take two dozen!

And I'll take three dozen!

That's right! My grandbaby can bake!

[Rebecca]: Mr. Elliot, Mr. Elliot!

Baby! Baby, look, look!

They're all coming to us!

And they're comin' from the Millers'!

Not only are Charlie's cookies a secret weapon,

but so are all our children.

You hear that, Millers?!

The whole Wilson family is a secret weapon!

Cookie mic drop!

Boom!

Dylan, where's the ginger?!

Hurry up!

I'm coming, Chef! I'm coming.

Lookin' good, boys! Lookin' good!

Now Dylan, hopefully this punishment

has taught you not to go behind our backs.

Trust me, Unc. It has.

Charlie's the hardest boss I've ever had to work for!

And I was wondering.

[Myles]: Mm-hmm.

Since he's working me so hard,

can I not get socks for my birthday

for the next three years?

Sorry, Dylan. That's the rule.

If you open your present early in this house,

you get socks.

No exceptions. And for what you did,

I'm going to find the ugliest socks I can.

Maybe radish or kale socks.

[Myles]: Well, on the bright side,

with the success of the block party,

we have so many orders for Charlie's cookies,

that we might just have enough money to get

that beat machine back. Which you will have to earn

once you're done with all your punishments.

With my new marketing campaign for Charlie's cookies,

I made ten more orders!

-[Myles]: Ooh. -Wow!

You heard my sister.

Let's get baking!

[music]

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