All language subtitles for Small Town Scandal s01e03 The Buchananiser Automated Lawnmowers.eng

Kia ora.

I'm Toby Buchanan, and you're listening
to Small Town Scandal, Episode 3.

A few days ago, my Uncle Mitch was found
dead on his lawn.

And his current wife, Janine, certainly
appeared upset about it.

I managed to find his autopsy report at
the local doctor's, and I found out that

there was ketamine in both his...

and a local librarian's systems when
they died.

I've since discovered an underground
subculture of swingers parties and drug

takers in my small town of Tohoi Lo.

Could one of these parties hold the clue
to solving Uncle Mitch's death?

And that's how this episode begins, with
me being a Peeping Tom, or Peeping

Toby, I guess.

All I can see is various body parts.

Some of the body parts I can't even
identify.

Toby, how did you find out about all of
this?

Oh, um, just a librarian invited me
along.

Oh, yes, that would be Lisa.

She's always looking for new members.

She picked a good night. It's bondage
and leather scene.

Tell me, I'm so embarrassed

that you saw me like that.

It's fine.

There's never normally that many men
focusing on one woman.

It's fine, honestly.

Obviously, Lisa is there. She insists on
wearing a strap -on.

Okay, we don't need to talk about her
answer to me. Honestly, it's fine. Oh.

So, um, did Uncle Mitch know about these
sexual parties?

Oh, no.

He was usually involved.

And the recreational drug?

Oh, yeah.

Ketamine. Yes, he used it a lot,
actually.

We love ketamine.

Turns anybody into a personal time warp.

Oh, Mitchie.

He distanced himself from all of us,
though, towards the end.

He was just growing jealous, I think.

I don't mean to brag, but I am rather
popular at these events, and Mitch

having a problem with that.

Janine!

The cowgirl competition's about to
begin.

Oh, wonderful. Oh, yes, yes, yes. I'm so
sorry, Toby. I have to dash.

I was the brains behind a new challenge
for travelling called Riding Cowgirls,

and it would be bad form for me. You're
not meant to feed me.

Oh, and if you want to stay, honey, you
have to strip down.

Pop on one of those leather harnesses
that are floating around.

Auntie Janine's suspect status was
slipping.

She wasn't at the mansion when Uncle
Mitch died, and she did seem genuinely

upset at his passing.

But all this talk about jealousy got me
thinking about her lovers, and I was

about to meet one face to face.

Luckily, my phone was still recording.

Toby! Hey!

Toby! Toby, it's me!

It's me!

It's Bill!

Oh, I heard you were here. Oh, yes.

Bill Haslop, who's cheating on his
equestrian wife to be with Auntie

course. How's it going?

Hey, look, can we have a quick word?

Yeah, thanks, mate.

Let's just pop in here real quick.

Thanks, mate. Good man.

Yeah, yeah, just real quick.

I just wanted to thank you, mate.

You were here for yesterday?

Yeah. My wife at the vets and keeping
mum about me and Janine.

Sure. Heather's got no idea about any of
it.

And that's tubing me up inside, you
know?

At the same time, I just can't help
myself.

I've just got no idea that I come to
these things.

There's another bloody secret I'm
keeping, eh?

Hopefully I don't go down a gay hole.

Who's Uncle Mitch?

Oh, he is a great guy.

You know, he really helped me.

You know, helped me with all the
cryptocurrency disasters.

I suppose me and Janine, we just found
solace in each other's arms, you know?

You know, I went round to grieve with
her, and we were organising to meet at O

'Reilly's Hotel.

So were you quite good mates with Uncle
Mitch?

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, I would have killed for him.

I was so angry when I found out that he
died.

I went round and I smashed one of those
self -automated lawnmowers.

How dare they?

How dare they kill such a tip -top chap,
you know?

Every godforsaken household's bought one
of the sons of bitches.

Have you watched The Terminator?

Oh. No, we haven't. It is on my list,
but... I mean, I do know the central

premise. Yeah, so you know.

You're going to take over. Just you
watch.

Oh, Lord.

Oh.

Oh, Lord, here comes the keyhole.

OK. Oh, it's time to batten down the
hatches. OK, OK.

Oh!

OK,

so if this guy was acting, it was an
Oscar -worthy performance. This is

good. Oh, he seems genuinely upset about
Uncle Mitch's death.

So does this mean that he's also no
longer a suspect?

Oh,

just a quick one.

Oh.

Oh.

Well, anyway, you going to come join in
the festivities?

Oh, no.

Oh, yeah, come on. Come on, you'll have
fun, I promise.

Oh, no.

Toby?

I think it's safe to say that Auntie
Janine and her lover, Bill Heslop, are

longer suspects.

But where does that leave me? Am I at a
stalemate?

Or is Bill Heslop right, and we're on
the precipice of an AI machine -led

end of civilization with these
lawnmowers?

I mean, they are hugely popular.

And basically every household has one.

No, this is stupid.

I don't want this podcast to devolve
into conspiracy theories.

But in saying that, maybe I'm missing
the most reasonable, obvious

Okay, looks like it's time to
investigate the next unlikely, albeit

suspect.

The Buchananizer.

As long as Mitch's Hypermega store's
been open, it's been incredibly popular.

People have come from far and wide for
their motor mowing needs, but mostly to

buy one of their very own world
-renowned Buchananizers.

Considering their boss was brutally
killed just a few days ago, the staff of

Mitch's Hypermega store don't appear
overly upset.

Hi. Hi there.

Hi, sir.

How can we help you?

Hi, I'm Toby.

Uncle Mitch was my actual uncle.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

It's fine.

It's sad, but yeah. Hey, listen, I was
wondering if there was any chance I

talk to someone about the mechanics of
the Buchananiser.

Just for interest's sake.

You'll probably want to speak to Gurush
down in the basement.

Gurush is still here.

Wow.

I knew him, like, 35 years ago, and even
then he would have been... He would

have been... Anyway, yeah, yes.

Yes.

Let's go and visit Grish, if that's OK.

Um, he's just down there at the end of
the corridor.

It's easy enough to find.

Will you introduce me to him?

I reckon you'll be fine. He doesn't
really like people, I don't think.

But he'll like you.

I'm sure of it. Oh, okay.

Good luck.

Okay.

Okay, yeah.

My plan? To find out if the Buchananizer
had the impetus, but mostly the

capabilities, to actually kill someone.

That's it!

I'm entering Garush's workshop.

So, Garush used to be...

One of the inventors of the original
Buchananizer.

I remember him about 30 years ago.

But even then he was an old man, so Lord
knows how old he is now.

Hello?

Garouche? Who are you?

I'm Toby Buchanan.

Uncle Mitch was my uncle.

Um...

I used to come here all the time as a
kid. I don't know if you remember,

McGroosh.

I was actually wondering if I could talk
to you about something.

I've been thinking quite a bit about the
Buchananizers.

Obviously, Uncle Mitch died, and one of
the leading hypotheses is that he was

actually killed by a Buchananizer, which
I know is poetic.

Yes, it's a bit like Frankenstein,
right? Because he was killed by his

invention. I mean, basically, do you
think that Buchananis could have killed

Uncle Mitch?

I mean, that's not a very satisfying end
to the podcast.

Not that you care about that.

Oh, I'm babbling.

Experiment. I beg your pardon?

Experiment.

Oh.

Uh... Are you sure this is such a good
idea, Karush?

With an experiment, you have to
replicate conditions exactly.

What?

It doesn't even ride up onto me.

Let alone cut me.

Your hypothesis is correct.

Then why did they cut his face up so
badly then?

Ow! Get out of it!

Can

I

piss him down harder?

You're a scientist.

Well, I guess I conclude that someone
would have to have done it.

The Buchananizers couldn't have done
this damage by themselves, right? In

to get the damage that they did, someone
would have to pick it up, place it on

his face, and then press down on it.

That's the only way that he could
sustain the injuries that he did.

But I'm at a loss, Garouche.

Who would want him dead?

Everyone who work here, they all want
him dead.

Wait, the staff?

Why would they want him dead?

Because he's an asshole.

He treat everyone like shit.

And also, he want to sell company.

Everyone lose job.

He wanted to sell the company.

You didn't want him dead, did you?

Who did?

I've not been outside in 25 years.

So not me.

Oh, okay.

Wait, you haven't been outside for 25
years?

The sunlight, it burns.

I have to have special SPF 550.

It's not easy to get.

So, trying to find out who killed my
Uncle Mitch was spiralling out of

So there are about 20 staff members at
the Hyper Megastore. Every one of them a

suspect? Do I have to investigate every
single one of them?

Toby Buchanan?

Enter my crush, Katie Jarram. Hi, honey.

From school, that is.

Oh, you work here, that's right. You got
it.

There I am.

That's professionally done.

Anyways, what are you doing here?

I'm just here for memory's sake.

How's everything going with all of that?
You all right? I just, I still can't

believe he's gone.

Just in shock or whatever.

Yeah, me too.

Tobes, I just, like, have to ask.

Living in Sydney.

Oh. Do you just think the best time?

Yeah, I can't wait to go back.

I just always, always, always wanted to
move over there.

And then Mitch was going to open a hyper
mega store in Newcastle. And I was

going to manage.

And that just would have been, like, so
neat.

Who do you think is going to take over
the business now?

Oh, I don't actually know.

Oh. Maybe as kids, do you think?

Nah, they're pretty busy with their jet
-setting lifestyle over in Hong Kong.

So, jet -setting.

Anyway, what are you doing?

Like, what have you been up to? What are
you journalising at the moment? Sorry,

journalist... Journalist -dicking.

Um... I'm actually working on a podcast
at the moment, Katie.

Stop. I love podcasts.

It is so cool.

I actually listened to a really good one
about women in business called Profit,

Loss and Lipstick.

What's your one about? Oh, men's mental
health.

Just on the down low, Katie, I'm
actually doing it on Uncle Mitch's life

death.

What a great man he was.

I don't think his death was as cut and
dry as they are saying it was.

I've just been down with Garouge.

And let's just say some of the events
around Uncle Mitch's death and what the

Buchananizers did.

It doesn't add up.

I mean, girl, who's... No,

I don't think that anyone did it because
it was an accident, which is what the

police have said. I sort of felt lucky.

Anyway, I should probably... Oh, I need
to get back to work. Is that OK?

Yes. Oh, I hope we get to catch up
properly.

Yeah, it's good to see you. You look
great.

My suspect list was getting unwieldy and
I didn't know how to proceed.

I guess I had to reframe the whole
investigation around one central

Who would gain the most from Uncle Mitch
dying?

And would a staff member, no matter how
disgruntled, be prepared to murder him?

What would they get out of that?

Also, you'd have to really hate Uncle
Mitch to take an automated lawnmower and

force it onto its face, right?

Because you're good at tech.

I've told Janine that you'll be more
than happy to do the photo montage for

Mitch's funeral.

I'm busy with my podcast.

If you can do it by this afternoon, that
would be good.

Oh, and I've told Russell, the suit
hire, that you'll be popping in to have

suit fitted this afternoon.

Oh, my God. If you behave, you can have
cheese toasties for lunch.

That's my boy.

Reward focus.

What did Dad say when you told him about
Uncle Mitch?

I would say he was upset, but he was
also drunk.

Is he coming back for the funeral?

I've sent him all the details, but don't
hold your breath that he'll make it

back.

Organising a flight back from Cairn is
probably a little bit beyond his

capabilities.

Shall I put a photo of Aunty Andrea into
the montage?

Oh, that's a point.

Yes, she'll probably be at the funeral.

Well, didn't Uncle Mitch get a
restraining order out again? Well, I

void when one of them is dead.

Anyway, put one in for old time's sake,
but maybe put one in with her eyes

closed. You're terrible, Auntie Sue.

Oh, on the other hand, maybe not. Oh,
she's had partial paralysis since her

surgery, so I know she's very sensitive
about it.

So, I guess it's time for some family
history.

Aunty Andrea was Uncle Mitch's first
wife and the mother of his twins.

When he hit the big time and made his
first 10 million and women started

throwing themselves at him, he proceeded
to upgrade Aunty Andrea for a newer

model, despite Aunty Andrea spending
thousands on her personal upgrade in

Thailand.

Aunty Andrea proceeded to have a
psychotic breakdown of sorts,

so, I guess.

And in the end, Mitch ended up taking
out a restraining order against her.

Oh, what do you think, Carol?

Is this Kiwi fascinator too drab?

It is a bit funny.

Where's Auntie Andrea living these days?

She's living in a unit up in Hamilton.

I went to see her a couple of, well, two
months ago, actually.

Oh, she's had even more work done, if
you know what I mean.

Does she come down here much?

Oh, no. With the twins not here, there's
no point, really.

And she just hates that drive.

Oh, that drive from Hamilton can be
really terrible.

Absolutely. There was that family that
was killed, drove clean off a cliff, and

knowing Andrea's bad luck, she'd
probably do the same thing.

Wait, didn't something terrible happen
to Andrea in the mid -naughty? Her

just dropped dead.

Just like that.

Oh. Wait, what? I don't know about this.

Auntie Andrea's dad just dropped dead.

Yeah.

Just like that.

And then a few months later, her mum
passed as well.

Wait, what?

Auntie Andrea's parents just dropped
dead?

Do they know how they died?

No idea.

Could they have been poisoned?

Poisoned? Why would they be poisoned?

No, no, no. Death comes to us all
sometimes, doesn't it? With this sordid

backstory in mind, looks like I had a
new number one suspect.

Aunty Andrea.

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