Original subtitles

Stop moving

Stop rushing me

You moron!

What?

You're wondering, what the hell is going on?

Let's go back two days

It's all because of this fool

He won a prize in Beijing

One Week Grand Tour to Taiwan

The moment | bumped into him

was the start of my worst nightmare

"Beijing Security Guard - Ocean"

"Crime Boss - Z"

"Female Assassins"

"Crazy Tour Guide - Idol"

"Clueless Tourist - Jane"

"Local Mafia- Gangster Wu"

"Taipei Security Guard - Jay"

- Stop, right there - Don't run

Watch the painting

Don't damage the painting

The painting's gone! Reques for backup!

Stay where you are!

Don't ruin it!

Stay at your position

Repeat, stay at your position

Jay, why did you do that?

What the...

Jay

Why did you leave your position?

| can handle this all by myself

Security is all about teamwork

If the team can't keep up with me

It's not my fault

What's important is that | got it back

Just look at the painting

Take a good long look

In three days’ time

In three days this treasure will be

exhibited at the National Palace Museum

and this is how you'll protect it?

Today's result is a FAIL

You have three hours to prep

and we'll do the drill again

Dismissed!

Respect the team.

Stop the one man act

Priceless classic painting in cross-strait exhibition...

is a first-time ever

expected to draw large tourist crowds

from China to come to Taiwan

This is the captain speaking

- Here's the water, Miss. - Thank you.

...an area of turbulence

Hey!

That's what this is for

Thank you

Are flights always so bumpy?

Sometimes...it's bumpier than riding in a car

What?

So...sorry

This airline is very safe

Just breathe

Yah!

Welcome to Taiwan

I'm Tour Guide Idol from the

"Best Agency in Taiwan"

Idol takes away your worries

Idol never lets you be bored

Dearest guests from China

|! am your humble guide

My name is Idol

This Idol follows you everywhere

Anytime Anywhere

Whatever you please

Idol will whisk you there

You are so lucky to have me

Because | am a certified 5-star guide

My rating is of the highest rank

Higher than even Superman can fly

But...

My one rule

is that nobody leaves the group

Nobody travels independently

If you dare leave the group

| will personally hunt you down

Of course our tour itself is wonderful

- Are you all right? - You won't forget it

| emphasize again, stick with the group

No running off...hey, what are you doing?

| said "No running off"

Here we are at the National Palace Museum

Idol takes away all your worries

Idol whisks you everywhere

We have arrived at the National Palace Museum

Don't wander off alone

Don't try to get ahead of Idol

Back off back off, get behind me

And keep up!

The ones behind, don't get lost

Come away

Here we are, still at the National Palace Museum

Keep up! Keep up!

Keep moving along

Sorry, are you ok?

Let me clean that for you

What? | didn't do it on purpose

Ready?

Wow, this looks so real

Makes me feel hungry

Ok, time's up

My dear Chinese guests

Time flies when you're having fun

We have more exciting locations waiting

The vacation of a lifetime

But I'm not finished here yet

That's right, we've only been in here for minutes

All | saw was a cabbage and a piece of pork

Always rushing us

Pay attention!

Please!

Don't forget our most important rule

Don't leave the group, don't wander off alone

Before we go

I'd like to remind you of my special theory

When you travel, always be merry

and spend every cent you carry

So, before we leave

and spend every cent you carry

So, before we leave

Remember to support the Taiwan economy, ok?

Let's go

Take a photo of me

Photos are not allowed

Oh, they won't know, come on

My first trip to Taiwan...half an hour only

so rushed!

First time to Taiwan, and this is it?

Yeah

What a bummer

Sir, this is Tamshui pearl

100% Authentic! Buy it or regret it

Where are you from?

Beijing, right?

Beijing is great!

Beijing men are generous

Buy more than one

Miss, your skin is so smooth

This suits you just perfectly

I'll give you a deal if you buy twenty

Discount just for you

Where can | buy a pearl necklace?

Over there. Go! Go! Go!

Choose whichever one you want

Can | have a look at this one?

Ok

Just a second

Here

| bought it

| need to go to the washroom

Go! Go! Go!

These pearls are too small

Give me bigger ones

Take them out

Watch out, security's ahead

What exactly is Jay's problem?

How would | know?

Because of him, we haven't rested in days

What you gonna do if we have a break?

Go for a walk

Let's eat

Ok

Code is 1-2-0-3

We're in

Where's Jay?

| don't know

Captain John calling Jay

Reply when you get this

Calling Captain John

The treasure's been stolen

Send back up immediately

No, you get back to the team right now

| know what I'm doing, I'll take care of it

You think you can? Get back here!

Hey!

Stop!

Get out of there, now!

Robbery!

Robbery!

Sorry

Robbery!

How dare you in broad daylight?

Don't you run

Are you crazy?

Don't you run!

Stop!

Thank you

You're welcome

I'm so lucky

Let's go!

Get on the bus

We're going to our next stop

Hurry and get on the bus

That's all

Get on the bus, here we go

Where do you think you're going?

Let me go!

Security guard

You know I'm a security guard and you still run?

No, I'm the security

What's this?

See this?

I'm on a mission

You're...security?

What about those two girls?

Thieves!

Are you working with them?

| don't even know them

| just thought they needed help

Then what are you doing here?

|.../'’m on vacation

My tour bus is over there

Huh?! Where's the bus?

The bus?!

Oh no, I'm separated from my tour group

Wait, there's a girl in your group

with a lot of painting scrolls, right?

You mean the girl with big eyes and a camera?

That's the one

What do you want with her?

You screwed up my mission, come with me

Help! Kidnap!

I'm innocent!

Stop struggling

Let me go

Where's your hotel?

| don't remember

We're the "Grand Tour"

Jay and these two women

Is he working with them?

He's caught on camera

- and now he's gone - Shut it!

Just find him

Ten years ago

When my father was on his deathbed he told me

that his dream was to acquire this particular piece of treasure

He asked me if | would keep you two in the family business

He was sure that your skills would be of great value to me

But now

After three years of planning

Today we finally get to see what you're worth

I've gotta say

| wasn't very impressed!

No more mistakes

33, 34...35...36...37...38...38?

Stop!

Can you let me go?

Can | have a look?

Hey

Are they here?

Just ask

The guest registration is here

Look for my tour guide Idol

| don't see Idol anywhere

Do you remember or not?

| didn't say for sure it's this hotel

Look at the list again

Where are you?

I'm chasing down the treasure

By yourself?

I'm very close

If | find this Idol, I'll find the treasure

All right, let's figure this out

But first, you come back

Ok, right, I'll come back now

Let me go

Where are we?

Help!

Help!

Come back!

Corner him when he comes over

Don't let him go, got it?

"| will retrieve the treasure"

"and prove my innocence"

Help! Help!

Let me go, please!

Are you crazy?

If I'm crazy

it's all your fault

Fine, so you don't know the hotel name

Do you know where your next stop is?

Stop shouting

Let me think

| wrote down the schedule

| can't read simplified Chinese

Bummer

I'm still so tired from jet lag

Are you crazy, that's too loud

| have a bad ear, | can't hear properly

Then don't listen at all

"Deng Dwa-lang, Deng dwa-lang"

What does that mean?

Medicine to make you grow taller, a con

Hey, what's that for?

Just look at yourself

Don't touch, it's autographed by Wang Chien-ming

What? Yao Ming?

| like Yao Ming a lot too

Every day my fellow guards and |

would play basketball together

You're really a guard?

Senior security guard

| even teach Taichi every day

I'm warning you

You take me back to my tour right now

Or I'm going to be forced to show you

my Taichi

I'm looking for your tour group too

You said you're on a mission

What are you looking for?

Is this your boy?

That's ME!

You looked better as a child

That's my bro

I'm the OTHER one

Your brother?

My best bud who used to work with me

So that means your partner

That's right, we need partners in our jobs

He's gone

Out of the business?

Well, must be because of you

Don't tell me this

How can | call the cops?

Just keep quiet, help me find the guy

Don't | Know I'm losing the 250k guarantee?

Don't | know I'm losing my license?

Yes, lost at the Museum, | already sent out his photo

I'm dying here

Please just help me find him

Excsue me

Is this someone's luggage?

| gotta hang up, a tourist is causing trouble

Just help

Hey, lady, | beg you

The bus is still in motion

Please sit down, it's dangerous

Are we missing someone?

What? No, no, no, not at all

Everybody is still here

Please sit down right now

But there was the guy in the red shirt

What guy in the red shirt?

| thought | saw...

It's your eye that's red. Sit down

or your eyes are going to get redder

Very dangerous, sit down right now

What now?

Do you need help?

Help?

Just get back in the car

Can you do it or not?

There's a saying

At home, rely on parents; traveling, rely on friends

If you need my help, just say the word

Push

You want to help? Then push

Push the car

| can push, no problem

But your attitude is the problem

I'm older than you, you should respect me

Just push the car

Just because | help doesn't mean you can order me around

Attitude is the key to working together

With your kind of attitude

PUSH the damn car!

Hey, look, this isn't working

We gotta synchronize

Listen to me

| say "Turn"

Then you turn on the engine

Turn!

Turn!

I'm still here

Slow...slow down

Not yet

I'm not in the car yet!

"Headquarters"

Why don't you pick up?

Tell me honestly

What are you looking for?

None of your business

Look at yourself

You have no qualms ordering people around

But when | ask you a question, you never answer

How did your parents raise you?

My parents raised me just fine

None of your business

How is it none of my business?

| got lost from my tour because of you

Whose fault is it?

Seriously, man to man, what are you looking for?

Family heirloom

Family heirloom

You could've shared with me earlier

How about this?

You help me find my tour group

Then I'll help you find your heirloom

Deal?

Sir

Have you seen a tour group from China?

Look around you, they're everywhere

Hey

How can you eat at a time like this?

This boss is really a nice guy

Treats me to sausage

Here's one for you, you want it?

That looks like my group's bus

It is my bus!

Let's get in the jeep

It's faster

It's right there

Sit tight

I'm...I'm still a virgin

Easy

Hey hey!

Stop!

Stop the bus right now!

Crazy bitch...

Almost there

Stop!

Stop the bus!

Take the wheel!

What?

No! No! No!

| can't do it

My dearest guests and customers

What you're looking at now

Ocean

is a popular street performance group

They are auditioning for the X Factor

Because they all love Britney Spears

Hey, is this yours?

But | still like Simon Cowell best

He's my number one!

Hello, 911?

Drive!

No! | haven't driven in years

Get your hands off me!

Dearest guests

Because you are from Great China

To serve you is my greatest honor

What does the bus driver live on?

| highly recommend

President's Green Tea

Try it!

Stop touching my ass

Where are you going?

Watch out

Did you hear anything?

Nothing

Just an illusion

Who are you?

Weren't you outside just now?

What are you doing inside?

Don't be nervous, everyone, stay calm

| gotta talk to my girlfriend

We just had a fight

What were you doing outside?

Proposing

Wow, crazy things people do for love...

Proposing death?

Get closer!

Miss, this case belongs to me, please return it

Mister, who's your girlfriend?

| have excellent ears

| heard what you said, ok?

Prove that this case belongs to you

And why is Ocean with you?

Watch out, they're up there!

Up there!

No time to explain

No!

Bro

Be careful!

Let go!

Stop kicking!

Don't drop it!

Get outta here!

Where's the painting?

Now you're gonna get it

Mr. Ocean, | can't believe you're driving in Taiwan

What are you doing?

Get back here right now!

Don't' go!

If you don't come back, I'm ruined

You asshole!

Can they perform it one more time?

You think it's easy to coordinate a show like that?

Sorry, | lost my cool

It's ok

Please find it in your hearts to forgive me

Are you all right?

What's going on?

Where did Ocean go?

He should be fine

| will bring him back, don't worry

Sorry, | made a prank call

It's all a misunderstanding

Our tour group is doing fine

Everyone is very happy and enjoying the tour

And they love me as their perfect guide

Of course, not a single person is missing

Let me tell you

Leaving the tour is a serious offense

He's a simple guy

Please don't get him in any trouble

| took photos

I've got evidence for you right here

Don't tell anyone about him being missing

| promise to bring him back

Don't' worry

Can | borrow

Can | borrow your phone?

Hello?

Where did you drive off to?

Is my tour group still there?

Yes. Look in the jeep for the case

Oh yes, it's here

So this is your heirloom

That's right, keep it safe

Where are you?

Wait, let me see

I'm in the mountains

There is a beef noodle shop here

Stay where you are, I'm coming over

Stay there

Hello?

He hung up

My number's in there

Stay in touch

Have a seat

What do you want?

What did you say?

Foreigner

| said what do you want today?

What's good here?

My specialty is beef noodles

Spicy, non-spicy, you choose

You decide, whatever's good

Sure, coming right up

Thanks

Did you like the food?

Great, it's the best beef noodles | ever had

Thanks

That's 2500 dollars

How much?

2500 dollars

So expensive!

| left my wallet in the jeep

You think I'm a fool?

Fool!

You think you can get freebies?

Calm down, my money's in the car

It's in the car

Easy

| have money

It's there

Where's the money?

- Where is it? - Where's the money?

My money's gone

Where is it?

It got stolen

No money? Tear the car apart

No no, don't do that

|! am not trying to con you

Con me?

Gentlemen talk with words, not with hands

Won't fight?

Let's talk this through

Talk?

Everybody, freeze!

| know Chinese kung-fu

Stop!

Why do you always get into trouble?

Bro, you came right on time

We can fight them off together

You got a friend

We got friends too

Coming~~~

Who wants a fight?

Awesome!

Where's the painting?

The painting?

It was there just now

My wallet got stolen too

Wait!

There was a guy with a mole on his nose

He looked really shady

| almost got killed

trying to get that case

and you're here eating beef noodles

What kind of loser security guard are you?

Don't blame it all on me

How did | know they were going to steal my stuff?

If | hadn't met you

I'd be enjoying Alishan by now

Alishan! Alishan! Alishan!

Don't kick my pineapple cakes

You are a loser guard with loser Taichi

Loser Taichi!

You wanna take me on?

Bring it!

Fuck!

You...

Get back here

If you are a man

get back here and fight

"Little Mermaid"

One more time

You're back

And you're flirting with girls, Litthe Mermaid

Who is calling me?

Stud!

Stud!

Step out of the car, handsome

Come on

Get out

What do you want?

Your friend wanted info worth two betelnut packs

I'll pay for three

| found out where the thieves are

Really?

Thanks to this girl

Stop messing with him, Ma

You're her mother?

We don't look alike?

You do

Of course we do

I'll give you two free nuts

Please don't

No nuts, then how about kisses?

I'll take the nuts!

One more for you

Don't you Taiwanese all eat betelnuts?

Do you eat Peking Duck every day?

I'm very sorry

to have lost your heirloom

Why don't you call your fellow guards

and look for it together

Them?

Better to depend on myself

Look bro, | hate to say this

but you really need to change you're attitude

Don't be so proud

Even your best buddy left you

because he couldn't stand you anymore

How can you say that?

Do you know why he left?

Easy, easy

Slow down

Your friend came here to work?

It's a nice quiet cemetery

And your friend is...

This...

Yes, he really left me

He was my best buddy

Now he's here

He died?

Sorry, | didn't mean to blurt it out

| didn't know

A few years ago, we were on a mission

| followed orders

and stayed at my position

instead of taking charge of the situation

And my friend got killed

From then on, | swore to work alone

It's not that | don't trust a partner

But I'm afraid of losing another one

| guess I'm also lost from my group

But at least | won't get anybody else hurt

Right?

| think you are too hard on yourself

If your friend knew about this

He wouldn't want you to always go at it alone

The Chinese word "man" is written this way

One stroke on the left, one to the right

Supporting each other up, that's the meaning of "man"

What's that you've been wearing around your neck?

Let me show you this medallion

My ancestors were imperial guards

who fought foreign army in the Qing dynasty

This was a present from the emperor

Wow, such an honor

What martial arts do you do?

Taichi

Well, | just do a bit

I'm nothing like my ancestors

| thought about serving in the army

so as to bring honor to the family

but you know I've got this handicap

My bad left ear

Brother

| hope you can bless your best friend

to find his family heirloom

and bless me to get back to my group

Sorry for the eariler offense

Here's my respect

Pineapple cakes...

| will return to my tour

The girl told me yesterday

to ask for Brother Biao

He knows where everyone is

Young men

You're not doing it right

Let me show you the correct way to pray

You go that way, we'll look on both sides

All right

Ma'am

What do you want?

Is there a guy with a bowl haircut

and a mole on his nose

in this village?

| don't understand you

| mean

Sorry, sorry. He's crazy

Let's go

| found the place

You did?

Where?

What's this?

Transformers

Transformers?

Seriously?

Stop clapping, come in and look

Look for the guy

Great dance

He's the one

Stop right there

Stop

Third Price...Princes

Take that! Take that!

Who are you people?

Let me go

Wait till you meet our boss, he'll tell you

Get out

You're afraid of dogs?

No, not afraid, on the contrary...

Get inside

What you looking at?

Who are you people?

Why did you take the painting?

Shut up!

What the hell?

| read faces for over 20 years

| can tell right away you are criminals

You look innocent, but have evil thoughts

Nothing good can come out of you

No wonder you committed such a crime

What are you talking about?

Yeah, what are you talking about?

Take me as a fool? Show it to them

You may fool others

but not Gangster Wu

You did it, and now it's all on tape

Clear as day

You took the national treasure

Shameless idiots

Hey, isn't that you?

If | were in my younger days with a bad temper

| would've fed you to the dogs

You scum!

| don't even know him

Take them away

Boss, I'll take the painting upstairs

Here

Thank you for retrieving the painting

This is from our Museum

Please accept our gratitude

No way

| can't possibly take this

I'm just trying to be a good citizen

Take it back

What do | do with those two thieves?

Someone will arrest them later

Don't worry

We need to take the painting back now

Hope you will come to the exhibition

Of course

People who work at the museum really are different

Real high-class

Will you stop looking at the girls?

Didn't you say it was a heirloom?

How do you explain that video?

Dumbass, can't you see it was a training drill?

What?

Drill!

What did you say?

| said it was a drill

| don't believe anything you say anymore

What are you doing?

Stop moving, stop twisting

I'll just do it myself

What are you...

Crazy!

Why jump when you can just climb down

Slow down

Wait for me

What is in that box?

You better fess up!

Boss

That car just went by

Yes, that's the one! It drove by!

Those foreigners just go on Highway 78

Repeat

Highway 78

Hmm...why are they going to Kaohsiung?

That tall foreign guy

is the boss of those two women

They are international art thieves

We've been watching them for a long time

They stole a

400 year old painting being exhibited for the first time

400 years

That's priceless!

| was hoping to find it before tomorrow's exhibition

But now we have nothing

Both halves are stolen

and they've framed me

What?!

Why didn't you tell me the truth before?

Why did you say it's a family heirloom?

You little man

Don't be so proud, ok?

The meaning of "man" is to support each other

Fine, everything is my fault, ok!

Excellent

Look, let's not get into a big fight now

See this?

My ancestors were imperial guards

But me?

I'm just a regular Joe in Beijing

Even so, | dare not lose my family's face

A national treasure's been stolen

Ask not what your country

does for you; ask what you do for your country

Especially since we are both security guards

Stop moping about like a girl

As long as we work together

There will be a way

| am atop security guard

Ace

Ace

Cheer up!

Take this

It's cool and brand new

Now you're cool

| knew you wouldn't get far

So tell me the truth, what really happened?

| almost got the treasure back, but now it's gone

Thanks to you, what do you want now?

So you're really not the thieves?

A misunderstanding

This is a serious misunderstanding

Hear me out

I've been with this guy for two days

| guarantee upon my life

that he is not a criminal

Those foreigners are behind this theft

That's right

Get lost

Listen to me

Videotapes...

don't tell the truth anymore

That's right

| read faces for so many years

but | never read foreigners’ faces

That's right

We are all on the same team, we shouldn't fight

This is the work of Z and his group

They have staged heists in the past

A celebrity thief

Wait

Didn't you say we looked innocent on the outside

but on the inside, we're...

One of a kind

You didn't hear me correctly

How did you know that | have a bad ear?

See? | do know how to read people

Listen, young men

| lost the treasure

So | will be responsible for getting it back

From now on

All my crew along the west coast of Taiwan

will work for you

Brotherhood

Awesome!

What does that mean?

It's a compliment

Right

Awesome-ness!

Dearest guests from China

123, you come to Taiwan

Taiwan has a famous Alishan

That's right, here we are, so very close

but since you saw it on pixel-perfect TV

We'll just drive right by

and see Alishan through the window

and let's go straight to Cape No.7

and write some love letters

isn't this a great idea?

So romantic and touching?

Agree? Agree?

Dearest guests, stay most calm

There's a little change in plan

If you don't like to hear me sing

Not a problem

Let me present to you my

Taiwan one-man show

Welcome to Taiwan Idol

You can sing, but can you dance?

Can you?

This is Ryan Seacrest here

| will teach you how to be an idol too

Keep an eye out for me

Three people

In a car

License plate 513503

That's right

Just shut up and listen

If you see a man and two women in a car

License plate 513503

Just stop the car right away

Gotta go

Hello? It's me

See three foreigners

in a car

Call me, ok?

Another problem?

No! No! No!

The thing is

Besides the treasure

| have a wallet

that was also stolen by your people

What?

That money is from my fellow guards

for me to buy them Taiwan souvenirs

Thief

What did | teach you?

How can you embarrass me like that?

This is it, right?

Yes, thank you

You!

| tried to change you with this mole

Here

Here's another good luck mole

See if it can make you a better person

And the hair

Are you still listening to the Beatles?

Get a perm!

What flavor do you want?

Mango

Make sure my boat's on time

The car you're looking for just drove into the harbor

Let me know what else to do

Thanks for your big help

I'll take over from here

That's all for today

Come visit me on the west coast some day

You hear that?

| think the thieves are trying to

deport form the Kaohsiung harbor

| will go and stop them

Ocean, you are here on vacation

This has nothing to do with you

Return to your tour

It's just gonna get more dangerous

| don't want you to get hurt

Brother

Since we call each other brothers now

Don't say a thing

You have that girl's number, right?

Call her

and get my tour guide on the phone

Do it

Hello?

Hello?

Are you ok?

Yes, are you and Ocean ok?

Give the phone to the tour guide

Ocean wants to talk to him

Hold on

Idol, here

Hello?

Mr. Ocean

Didn't | tell you that our No.1 rule is

never to wander off alone

Where are you?

What are you doing? Get back here right now

Do you have any idea the trouble you're in?

Idol

Listen to me

| know leaving the group is a serious offense

I'm sorry for all the trouble I've brought you

But please believe me

| didn't do anything illegal in Taiwan

| just have one last thing to help

and then I'll return tomorrow

But

lf | never return due to some accident

Well, then | guess | owe you one

I'll pay you back in the next life

You can't pay me back

You know what you cost me?

Wandering off like this?

250 grand, not 25 dollars!

| have a family to support

Can you stop trying to bankrupt me?

Stop destroying me?

I'm dying here, again and again

Will you please come back?

Instantly, promptly, immediately. Right now!

Shut up!

You offend my friends, you offend me

Why are you harassing him over such a small amount?

Can't you handle it?

You shut up, who the hell are you?

Don't know me?

Listen carefully

I'm Gangster Wu

Gangster Wu?

As a tour guide, I've met all kinds

Stop your bull!

Listen

| had a dog once, | called him Little Gangster

Don't you dare play with fire

What goes around comes around

If you ever cross my path again

you'll Know what to expect

Hello?

Are we bros?

If we are, then I'm in

You're even wearing my shirt

"Go kick some ass!"

My bro

Why can't | go in?

Not allowed

Calling back up, back up!

Wanna come in?

Cowboy?

You got a gang?

Call them, call them

You stinky little losers!

Go and stall them

There's a car behind

Leave it

Let it pass

Here, this way

Just leave it

It's following us?

| didn't mean it

| got one of them

It's me!

Watch out!

Awesome!

Watch out

This way this way

Lock it up

How?

Don't walk so fast

Do you know where they are?

My ass

Brother

Bro, you all right?

Watch his feet

You think | don't know that?

So you're the traitor?

No wonder the tapes got leaked

Hey, don't call me that

| only make 50k as a security guard

and not even a bonus last year

| got bills to pay

What can | do?

So you're a security guard too?

You certainly make more money than | ever have

But I'd never sell a national treasure for money

Stop wasting time

You be careful

Don't fret, I'll help you find him

West...your west

He's to your west

Didn't | tell you to watch his feet?

East side, east side, he's coming from the east

Don't you understand me?

What's with east and west, can't you just say right or left?

Sorry, that's how we say it in Beijing

Left, he's on the left

Didn't you say Left?

| meant my left

You stay out of this

I'll handle it myself

All right

Yes

You make 50k

| only make half that

| NEVER had a bonus

You cut my benefits

Talk behind my back

Never give me tips

Make me work overtime

Traitor

Here | come

Stop

I'll cut you guys 30%

No way!

What are you doing?

Hot

I'm hot too

Now way!

I'll count to three, and we'll jump

You are too crazy

1...

2...

Don't

3...

Bro, why are you doing this to me?

Why? WHY? W-H-Y?

Bro

The most important thing in life, is to be happy

Why aren't we there yet?

Bro

Bro

Bro, you all right?

I'm fine

Stop

Wait

You stay put

I'll show him my Taichi

Bro

Thank you

How come | don't feel any pain?

What happened to me?

Are you ok?

It's not how much you hit, but how much you can take

Watch out!

Ocean! Ocean!

Bro!

Wake up, Ocean

Bro!

| knew | shouldn't have friends

| always get them hurt

I'm so sorry, So sorry

So sorry

Bro

What the...?

| thought you were a tough guy

but you cry like a girl

Wait for me

I'm hurt

I'm hurt

Help me up

"Guard work together and retrieve national treasure"

Dearest guests

Time flies when you're having fun

Now is the time to say goodbye

Here's my business card for all of you

Bro

I'm right here

- Ocean - Wow, you're late

These souvenirs are for you

What can | say?

You still haven't visited many places

or tried much of our food

Bro

Stop right there

Come visit me in Beijing

You treated me to Taiwan beer

I'll treat you to Chinese wine

We will get properly drunk

Count me in

You guys chat

Miss Jane

Nice to meet you

You look nice

Wait

| told you | can hear everything, right?

Including what your heart is saying, ok?

Bro, is that ok now?

Yes, it's ok

Get lost

Closer, closer

Brother Wu

| will really miss you

If you come to Taiwan again

remember to visit me

Brother Wu

Of course

What are you doing?

Old age eyes

So you're the famous Idol

who gave my friends crap for 250k?

Dumbass!

And who are you?

Who am |?

Who?

Gangster Wu!

Gangster or Lobster

or Ghostbuster

You're the Wu who almost lost a national treasure

| know all about it

Boss

Idol offered us a grand tour of Taiwan

Times are changing fast

Get with the program

Let's go

You...

Being a tour guide is a better living

I'm heading off

I'll wait for you in Beijing

Take care

"Jane Zhang's Photography Exhibition"

Senior Guard Ocean Ni

had a very successful trip

to Taiwan

To honor his achievement

We are promoting him to a one-room apartment

Now you can look for a wife

Ocean, Ocean runs so deep!

Ocean, Ocean I'd love to keep!

You know, | already have a place to live

Why don't you

just give it to me in cash

and I'll share with the rest of the guards

and keep everyone happy

Also, | wanna ask

Can | please take off

the sponsor's red shirt now?

Rise