All language subtitles for The.Movie.Orgy.1968.720p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.LT]B.eng.HI

- I've just seen some of the action scenes

from next week's program.

This is Jace Pearson inviting you

to be with Clay Morgan and myself when you will see more

of the exciting "Tales of the Texas Rangers."

(triumphant bright music)

- Say, this is the time of year

for music and singing, isn't it?

I've noticed how often at a holiday party,

you got an impromptu quartet going.

Why just the other night,

I was at a friend's house.

♪ In the lane, snow is glistening ♪

♪ A beautiful sight ♪

♪ We're happy tonight ♪

♪ Walking in a winter wonderland ♪

- Ah, that was great.

Let's sing another one.

- Say, we've been saving one for you, Bob.

- Oh?

♪ Come away with me Lucille ♪

♪ In my merry Oldsmobile ♪

- Oh, oh, hold it, just a sec.

Let's get in the mood.

Now, just picture yourself at the wheel

of a brand new rocket engine Oldsmobile.

You're flashing along the highway,

king of all you survey.

It's smooth, smooth going with Jetaway Hydra-Matic.

And how you go, go, go with the Rocket T350.

Boy, you feel great

because there's nothing else in the world

like that Oldsmobile rocket ride.

Now, are you all ready?

- Are we ready?

Come on, kids, let's give.

One, two, three...

♪ Come away with me Lucille ♪

♪ In the newest Oldsmobile ♪

♪ Down the road of life we'll fly ♪

♪ On a thrilling rocket ride ♪

♪ That your heart accelerate ♪

♪ In a super 88 ♪

♪ Let's get away in a holiday ♪

♪ In a great new rocket age ♪

- Yes, it's a real thrill

to rock it away in a holiday.

And now, after a pause for station identification,

the second act of "Babes in Toyland."

(ominous dramatic music)

(lady screams)

(ominous dramatic music)

- You the black knight?

(ominous dramatic music)

- Oh, thank you, thank you.

(ominous suspenseful music)

(lady screams)

- Ah, golly boy.

I'd sure like to do that.

- Wouldn't you like something to eat Mrs. Archer?

The doctor said-

- Oh, just quit mincing around and leave me alone.

- Yes, ma'am.

- Ladies and gentlemen, this is KRKR-TV

and now more news of high flyers.

Nancy Archer, the former Nancy Fowler,

heiress to the Fowler Millions

and owner of the fabulous
Star of India diamond,

has joined that ever expanding international society

of Satellite Sears.

From the Archer's palatial home away from home

comes a report that Mrs. Archer

has not only been seeing a sociable satellite,

but it's inhabited as well,

a 30-foot giant.

Was he pink with big ears and tusks?

Well, maybe Mrs. Archie,

who has recently been feuding with her husband,

handsome Harry, has finally found a man

from out of this world,

a man who could love her for herself.

Come, come now, Mrs. Archer.

A man can ignore $1 million, but 50?

That's too much to ask even from the man in the moon.

- I wonder if you've got a cigarette

in your hand right now as I have.

Well, before you take your next puff,

there's something I'd like to ask you.

This is sort of a quiz question.

- Well, I don't think we're going to get

any fast answers around here.

(eerie ominous music)

- [Wanda] Ready? Here I come.

- Oh, it's a breeze!

- [Narrator] The fun of planning for a big date

centers on clothes,

jewelry to wear, that sort of thing.

A girl wants to look her best for her date,

but she wants to be in good taste too.

It's a time girls think about new hairstyles.

Still good taste is the best guy.

That night, Joe could not use the family car.

So he called for Wanda in a cab.

He had told her of this arrangement ahead of time.

Because Wanda knew the cab would be waiting,

she was especially careful to be on time.

She met Joe at the door

in order to introduce him to her family.

It would've been awkward

for Joe to have had to introduce himself.

Wanda could do it quickly and naturally.

As Wanda excused herself to get her wraps,

Joe could become better acquainted with her parents.

Wanda remembered to thank
Joe for the lovely corsage,

and to let her parents know what time to expect them home.

- The prom will end at 1:00, Mother.

- Okay.

- And then, we plan to go to Hank's restaurant

for something to eat with Paul and Jane.

We'll come on home afterwards.

- Okay, have fun.

- Okay, thank you and goodnight.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

- [Narrator] Wanda thought she had never felt

so elegant in her life.

The prom would be a wonderful evening.

And it seemed Joe's good manners and thoughtfulness

helped make Wanda feel that way.

She suddenly found she was proud,

very proud to be going to the prom with Joe.

They arrived in good time.

It's never fun to be so late.

You miss part of the evening.

After the boys check the wraps,

the girls excuse themselves to freshen up.

A girl should avoid carrying so many things

she has to ask her escort to load his pockets down

with her personal effects.

Wanda and Jane are not going to make the same mistake.

Entering the prom was a big moment.

To Jane, it seemed the theme they had chosen was just right,

Deep in a Dream.

Courtesy goes with poise.

A lack of poise looks discourteous.

Though you may feel at ease,

the lack of poise may appear as though you were showing off.

It makes others feel a little embarrassed.

(jazz music)

For Jane and for Paul,

the prom has been a night to remember.

It has been worth all the planning,

the work, and the dreaming that they've put into it.

- Paul, it was a wonderful evening.

- This is one prom I'll always remember.

- And you know something?

I'm glad it's you I'll remember going with.

- Goodnight.
- Night, Jane.

- [Presenter] Yes, if you plan well

and fulfill your responsibilities to your school,

your parents, and your dates,

you will make your prom a happy memory.

(light dramatic music)

- Mr. Cameron, looks like that horse [indistinct]

Look out! He's gonna be stark, raving mad in a minute!

I'd get some help.

(horse neighing)

Mr. Cameron's horse is trying to kill him.

It's fighting like mad out yonder, come on!

(hooves thudding)
(dramatic ominous music)

- Dad.

- Oh, oh, let me down.

I'm afraid it's the end.

- No, no. Dad,

- Goodbye, Ruth.

- Blakely.
- Yes?

- I want you to promise

you'll see her through the Abilene.

- I promise.

- Poor Mr. Cameron.

- Oh, don't leave me.

Don't leave me!

- Listen to me, folks.

None of us want to turn back, I don't.

But now that Mr. Cameron is dead,

we're without a leader.

I still say this whole thing was doomed from the start.

Mr. Cameron was murdered,

so was lots of the other boys.

Which one is next?

Maybe you or you.

As someone mighty powerful not wanting us to go through,

and I'm urging turning back.

Are we going to ride into death or turn back?

(men cheering)

- Listen men, my father died because of an ideal,

the ideal at his home

that your home would be secure

and we Texans would continue to be a people with a future.

When we left our sovereign state,

we did so to save it from ruins.

All Texas is watching us,

for we are pointing the weight of future success or defeat.

We must go onto Abilene, fill our herds,

get the money we need,

and pay off on our homes.

- Just a minute, Miss Ruth,

what good is this gonna do us?

We're all lying out here dead like the rest of 'em.

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

- This ain't no [indistinct] parade.

We've all had enough out of you.

(Ruth shouting)

- When he wants to look,

maybe you'd like to try that on.

(men shouting)
(men grunting)

- Buddy, come here.

- Are we going back to Texas, Miss Ruth?

- We may have to.

(dramatic ominous music)

(presenter speaking in French)

- Howdy, Bill.
- Howdy, folks.

- Mr. Hickok, I never was so glad

to see anybody in all my life.

- Camping here for a spell?

- No, we're not camping here, Mr. Hickok.

We're heading back to
Texas where we belong.

- Well, maybe you are, Scudder.

But I think the rest of the outfit

will feel a little differently when I talk to them.

- Talk's cheap.

- Now then, you can cut your measly

[indistinct] of critters out of the herd

and backtrack if you like.

But the rest of the outfit's going on to Abilene.

Folks, there's just one question I want to ask.

Are you real Texans?

- Yes.
- Yes!

- Well, maybe you think you are,

but you're not the type of Texans

that fought with Davy
Crockett at the Alamo.

Why do you stand here

bickering like a lot of old women?

Men up north,

real men are giving their lives

to see that railroad completed.

And it will be complete in a short time

to be ready for you when you arrive.

Now then, what is it to be?

Back to Texas in disgrace

or Abilene with honor?

- Abilene!
- Abilene!

- That's the spirit of the Lone Star State.

I've been so busy getting this train started again.

I clean forgot to ask about Buddy.

Is he in one of the wagons?

- That's just it.

He's been missing for days.

- Missing?
- Yes.

One of the boys saw him riding away from camp

just after he heard we were going to turn back.

- Oh, Buddy went to look for his little friend, Jerry.

- Do you really think so?

- I'll gamble on it.

The Grey Eagle tribe is not far away.

Now, don't you worry.

I'll have Buddy back here

by the time you make your next camp.

- [Presenter] How far does a bullet travel

before it hits a jet?

(guns firing)

150 yards?

(guns firing)

- Just shot three Japs.

Blew 'em to bits against a wall

and I have no more feeling about them

and if there [indistinct]

- Yeah, I told you somebody was going to get hurt.

- I got three Jap machine guns in that truck

and I'm gonna start using them.

- Mr. Jones.

Easy, my friend, easy.

Inviting the Japanese, most of all,

I have learned patience.

- [Mr. Jones] Maybe you have, but I haven't.

(guns firing)

- That's it! I can see it!

Oh god, I told you!

I was right!

I was right, it's real, it's real!

- Nancy, Nancy, come back here!

Come back here.

Let's get out of here, Nancy!

- It's real, it's real!

I'm not crazy, I did see it!

- Nancy, come here!

It's a satellite.

- Harry, I can see it!

(guns firing)

- No, Harry! Harry!

Harry, help me!

Harry! Harry!

Harry, help me!

(Nancy loudly screams)

- No, get away from me!

- Nobody says no to Barrow, baby.

He takes what he wants.

Or shall I let the air out of you?

- You wouldn't hurt me.

- It could be an accident, you know?

That was just a rehearsal, baby.

This time, it's for keeps.

- He isn't paying too much attention to you,

is he, Goldilocks?

(dramatic music)

- Be careful, he's got a knife!

(dramatic music)

- Stay back.

First one that makes a pass at me'll

will taste the bite of this knife.

- You seem to be having a big night, ladies man.

- Yeah, everything's real cozy.

And if tomorrow's your funeral...

(dramatic music)

- Come on, Hap!

- Come on!

- Look out, Hap, you've gotta drive tomorrow.

- Drop it, Nick.

You're breaking my wrist.

I'll kill you.

I'll kill you, Nick.

(crowd cheering)
(dramatic music)

- See that, you bunch of yaps?

Nobody crowds Nick Barrow.

You bunch of creeps.

Standing there, gawkin'!

Creeps, that's what you are,

a bunch of hick town creeps!

(slow dramatic music)

- What's wrong with Nancy,
Doctor, what happened?

- I'll ask the questions, Mr. Archer.

I suppose you tell me what happened.

- I'm in no mood for games, Sheriff.

- Now I wouldn't go up there if I were you, Harry.

There's some possibility

she may have been contaminated.

There's evidence of some kind of radiation.

(ominous dramatic music)

- Ah! Doctor! Doctor Cushing!

Something's happening to Nancy, Doctor!

(nurse screams)

Something's happening to Nancy, Doctor!

- [Dr. Cushing] Astounding growth.

(nurse screams)

- Meat hooks. Four lengths of chain.

- Well, the chains you were expecting are here, Doctor.

- Good, I'll tell the Doctor at once.

- Meat hooks, four lengths of chain,

40 gallons of plasma,

and an elephant syringe?

- The chains are here.

Well, Heinrich, what do you make of it?

- Fantastic.

- I've missed you.

- Has she talked yet?

- She's still in a coma.

They're looking for me now

to give them permission to operate.

- That's great, that's wonderful.

You just hide out and let her blow up like a balloon.

- You can pull now, Heinrich.

(chains rattling)

(slow light dramatic music)

- [Presenter] It is a lovely day for a walk

and especially with a wonderful companion

trained in the good manners of a gentleman.

Or is this what happens when you take your dog for a walk?

It isn't luck that makes a well-behaved dog

or one that's a nuisance.

It's just simple training.

Whoa there, who is taking whom for a walk?

(bright music)

And when two of a kind meet,

anything can happen.

But here is the dog that's had some schooling.

His owner doesn't have any trouble.

She can go about her usual activities

while enjoying his companionship.

Any breed of dog can be trained to be a gentleman.

- [Presenter] This man bears the hallmark of honor.

He is a Marine Corps officer.

He carries on the traditions of pride and prestige,

which have marked almost two centuries

of military excellence.

If you are a college man,

be a leader of men.

Be an officer of Marines.

- All set, boys and girls,

here comes another one.

(bright music)

♪ Hey, it's strictly confidential ♪

♪ Keep it under your hat ♪

♪ Yeah, you shouldn't go around discussing things like that ♪

♪ Call it adolescence or whatever you please ♪

♪ It's fundamental like the birds and the flowers ♪

♪ And that's why we go to college ♪

♪ Well, it sounds kind of corny but it's gotta be said ♪

♪ There are some among us who have come to fill the head ♪

♪ But if you're asking me,
I'll say I'd rather be dead ♪

♪ Than stuffing my brain full of knowledge ♪

♪ You know, I don't dig
Latin and I'm lazy too ♪

♪ I don't want to be a scholar but what else can I do ♪

♪ I got a heart full of love ♪

♪ And I just gotta be with you ♪

♪ And that's why I go to college ♪

♪ But it's strictly confidential ♪

♪ Keep it under your hat ♪

♪ Yeah you shouldn't go around discussing things like that ♪

♪ Call it adolescence or whatever you please ♪

♪ It's fundamental like the birds and the flowers ♪

♪ And that's why I go to college ♪

♪ Hey, that's why we go to college ♪

(gentle light music)

Hey, isn't it your move, Faye?

- That depends.

- Depends on what?

- On the rules you wanna play by.

You know those rules you invented last night?

Well, they're just too far out.

- Well, what do you say we compromise then?

I'll give a little and you give a little, huh?

- In chess, the rules are fixed...

and much safer.

- I'll bet your diary reads like...

like nothing.

All right, if you don't want me in your love life anymore,

there are plenty of other girls

who want me in their memoirs.

- You lost your chance.

- How about tonight?

- I'll let you know later.

- Stop here, I wanna talk to my girlfriend Sally.

- [Presenter] Here's famous Mince-O-Matic

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and you have a glamorous tomato surprise

or a luscious grapefruit supreme.

- Can anyone here confirm this?

- Yes, I can.

- If even you, Mila, my niece said so,

then I'm forced to believe it.

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So pick up two or three as gifts

at Woolco and Woolworth.

- Look Little Elk, it's Bud and Rex.

- Jerry! No, I must be dreaming.

- No, you're not, Bud.

It's sure enough Little Elk and me.

- Huh?
- Jerry?

And Little Elk!

Oh, pinch me!

Go ahead, pinch me!

I wanna be sure I'm awake.

(slow light dramatic music)

(Rusty barks)

- Rusty!

Oh, how you been?

Gee, Rusty.

Oh, it's good to see you again.

I didn't know where you were.

- What am I supposed to do?

Please, Mr. Evans, you got plenty of people working for you.

Me, I got only Johnny.

- Look, Jimmy, would you go

instead of Johnny if you could?

- Sure!
- Me too.

I'd give anything to ask whom.

I'm sorry.

- [Presenter] Often people who are sensitive to others

can be more sensitive to headache pain.

Bufferin is for these people.

It's strong medicine that treats you gently.

Plain aspirin's fine,

but Bufferin goes to work much faster,

yet is gentler to your stomach.

We believe the strong medicine you need

should treat you gently.

Faster, gentler, Bufferin.

Strong medicine for sensitive people.

- The fact that he was killed without any apparent reason

is the one thing making it tough to crack.

- Yeah, killing does seem senseless.

- Senseless?

All murders are senseless.

But it beats me why anyone

would want to kill an old man like that.

- Well, people do strange things.

It's a supersonic age we live in.

(ominous music)

- Here it comes!

(ominous dramatic music)

- Holy cow.

- Steady...

Now!

(ominous dramatic music)

Let's get out of here.

(car engines revving)

(farmer whistles)

- Goof job bringing her back with me.

- Good boy.

- Just a moment, all of you.

Let's get everything straight before we start.

I know Jerry told you the only reason I'm here

is because I wanna get White Cloud.

I need your help and I'm willing to pay for it.

If you put White Cloud on top of your list,

I'll scout for you and do everything else I can

whenever you're about to settle a score with a Yankee.

I'm the only girl in this gang,

so let's get straight on that too.

Bob wants me to marry him and have that settled,

but I'm not interested in marrying anyone right now.

White Cloud killed my family and gave me that.

And until it's paid for,

there's nothing else on my mind.

In the last year or so,

nearly every one of you has asked me to marry him.

If you still feel that way,

I'm ready to make a deal with you.

When White Cloud is dead,

the man who does the most to make him that way

will be the one.

Until then, just remember
I've always been straight

and I'm gonna stay that way.

- Now let's go out into the country

where there's room to practice.

- But is it safe?

What about the Indians?

- Shucks, they're peaceful.

They just signed a treaty.

(guns firing)

(Indians rallying)

- That settles 'em, Bull.

(guns firing)
(Indians rallying)

- There's one wagon train

that won't reach Paradise valley.

(triumphant ominous music)

(hooves thudding)
(guns firing)

(Indians shouting)

(hooves thudding)
(guns firing)

- That means we've got to join up

with the wagon yet again

and watch for another chance to wreck it.

(partygoers cheering)

- Wait for Skippy! Wait for me!

- Oh, that Skippy is too much for television.

- Yeah, he sure is.

- Hi.

- Marv wants you to find some traffic to play in.

- I'd rather avoid crowds

like you two.

- You're not so funny.

You better get lost.

- Okay?

- You haven't called.

- Well look, doll.

Well, you almost got me in a bad jam the other night.

- I almost got you?

I didn't tell my old man

who I really was out with.

- Yeah, I heard you put the finger on the prof.

- And got found out.

This morning, my father grilled me again to tell him

and I wouldn't.

That's how much I think of you.

- Your old man, he is murder.

- How about tonight?

Oh, I love when we're parked

and you whisper in my ear.

- Ah, too much talk bugs me.

- Have I ever stopped you from being strong and silent?

Let's get together tonight.

- Huh, and play house?

The tired husband home from the grind.

Who can't wait to flop down in front of the TV set?

- Marv, I sure have missed our own very late, late shows.

I'll see you tonight or Friday.

We've got so many programs to catch up on.

- I'm on your frequency, doll,

and achin' to be tuned in.

Come Friday night,

we'll go to McKenna's bash together.

- I can't go there.

My old man said that if I-

- I'm fed up with your old man.

Mac's parties are always fun

and a tight money situation's got me socked into a corner.

Look, doll...

Now, how will Blake senior find out?

And why pass up all that free entertainment?

- I don't need any more of this.

I don't need you!

- [Presenter] Motor Psycho.

Ripped from today's devastating headlines.

Bike riding hoodlums.

Black out on their murder cycle.

See Motor Psycho!

- Let's see that again on instant replay.

- [Presenter] Motor Psycho.

Ripped from today's devastating headlines.

Bike riding hoodlums.

Black out on their murder cycle.

See Motor Psycho!

- Alex, I'd like you to meet Jim Freeman.

- Hello.
- Nice to meet you.

- You've seen the act he does with his wife?

- Yeah, it's pretty good.

- [Jim] Thanks.

- Huh, let's keep sex out of this.

Oh, what am I saying?

- I think we're gonna have a lot of fun

in the next couple of minutes.

We're gonna try a psychological experiment

based on something that most of you'll realize

is one of our national phobias.

Would you bring me the box please, Jack?

- Here it is, Harv.

- Do you know what's in it?

- No.

- Rats.

- You take it.
- (audience laughing)

- Now, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Where's our next contestant?

Oh, she's back

in the dressing room,
- She?

- where you sent her before the show, remember?

- That's right, it's a lady.

We sent her off stage

because we have a couple of secrets

we don't want her to know about.

We let her, she's busy back there.

Now in this box,

we have two white rats.

One...
(audience laughing)

Two...

Two women's rats that they put in their hair.

Martha, Washington, okay?

Now you remember that, okay?

Bring the lady back in.

Get her out of the dressing room.

She doesn't know a thing about this so far.

And we wanna see whether a woman's unreasoning fear

will prevent her from getting a prize, all right?

How do you do?

Would you come over here, please?

Right here, you're Mrs...?

- Wade Ruby.

- Mrs. Who?

- Mrs. Ruby, you put up your hand before we went on the air

because you said that you were afraid of mice.

- Yes, I am.

- Why? Anything ever happened to you?

- I grabbed a hold of one at college one time

in my pocket eating crackers

I had taken home from the dining hall...

- And the mouse was in your pocket?

- It was in my pocket getting my crackers in my closet

and I grabbed hold and I couldn't get rid of it.

And the nurse came running and she thought I was dying.

(audience laughing)

- It gave you practically palpitations.

- I couldn't move.

I couldn't get rid of it.

- Yeah, well now,
Mrs. Wilson, is it?

- Ruby.
- Mrs. Ruby.

Now, Mrs. Ruby.

(audience laughing)

Don't leave.

In this-don't leave.

Mrs. Ruby, in this box is a $10 bill.

Would you like to have a $10 bill?

- What's it gotta have holes in it for?

- What they gotta have holes?

Well, you wouldn't think we'd put

any mice in there, would you?

- I think, I think you would.

- No, there are no mice in there, Mrs. Ruby.

There are two white rats.

- Well, that's good.

And now, now don't leave.

Keep, stay over here, Ms. Ruby.

Would you, if I lift this up,

would you put your hand in there and get the $10 out?

- No, I wouldn't.
- You wouldn't?

- No.
- Come closer.

Would you do it for $20?

- No.

- I'm gonna make a sporting proposition to you, Mrs. Ruby.

If you will just lift your hand up.

And I'll give you $40,

if you just put your hand in there

and pull a $10 bill out.

- Can I put my glove on?

- What?

- Should we let her put her glove on?

- [Audience] Yes!

- All right, put your gloves on.

All right, you can do it.

You can put...

All right, let, let, let,

and put it in.

- I'm not gonna do it with my glove.

- You aren't gonna do it with your glove on?

Come back in here, Mrs. Ruby.

Now, I'll tell you what.

I'll give you, I'll give you $60.

- No.
- You won't do it?

- You will not do it?
- No, I won't.

- I'll make one last offer to you, Mrs. Ruby.

This is my last offer:

$100 in cash

if you will just put your hand in there

where those two rats are.

- I can do it on my gloves?

- You can do it with your glove.

(audience laughing)

- I can't get it on, I'm nervous.

- All right, now you reach in there?

- Have you got 'em tied?

- Huh?

No, they're not tied.

(audience laughing)

- Well, hold it.

- How will I get it without getting...

Oh, it's the rat!

- Huh? Don't-come on over here.

$100 in cash.

Just shut your eyes

- and reach right in there.
- [indistinct]?

- No hurry up, right now.

All right, come on.

Put your hands in.

- Put it in.
- Well, what is it?

- They are white rats.
- (audience laughing)

Aren't they?

Mrs. Ruby, you have proven

that you have overcome your fear.

Shake hands and you have got

$100 in cash.

♪ With the confidence doo, doo, doo ♪

♪ Called the Jolly Green Giant ♪
(audience applauding)

- That's weird.

(eerie dramatic music)

(monster hissing)

- Very sad case.

A case not infrequent in this supersonic age we live in.

- I'm afraid I was unwise in advising her

to take Harry back after they'd separated.

- Who knows, my friend.

When women reach the age of maturity,

mother nature sometimes overworks the frustration

to a point of irrationalism.

- [Nancy] Harry!

- What was that?

- [Nancy] Harry!

Harry!

- I'll get Dr. Cushing.

- [Nancy] Harry!

I want out of here!

- Nancy, Nancy, calm yourself.

Morphine!

Harry's asleep in his room.

He'd be right here.

- [Nancy] Harry!

- [Presenter]...Biblical times man has witnessed

and reported strange manifestations in the sky

and speculated on the possibilities

of visitors from another world.

(ominous dramatic music)

Today from the skies of California,

the air intelligence command

gathers and sifts data from all quarters of the globe.

97% of the objects prove on investigation

to be of natural origin

but 3% still are listed as unknown.

The Air Force is aware

that the widely held belief that some of these

could be flying saucers from another planet.

While there is nothing conclusive in the evidence,

the probing and digesting of information

about UFOs continues unceasingly.

As a result, headquarters of the Hemispheric Defense Command

in Colorado Springs issued an order.

All military installations are to fire on site

at any flying objects not identifiable.

But even as they did so,

the military wondered whether their scientific know-how

and their best weapons would be effective in any battle

of the Earth versus the flying saucers.

(eerie ominous music)

(gentle light dramatic music)

- Do you hear something?

- Hear what?

I don't hear-
- Shh, listen.

(ominous music)

Pull over.

(ominous music)

- Ross, it was a saucer.

- Anything you say, Poopsie.

(triumphant music)

- Sunday, as it says.

- You want another waffle, Mr. Stonewell?

- No, thanks.

- You, Ms. Stonewell?

- If I eat another waffle, Creole,

I'd turn into one.

You eat them.

- Oh, I can't, I'd just die.

- A waffle or two won't make any difference.

- Oh, I ain't dying for my figure.

I was dying for my mind.

The doctor said if I didn't eat no more starch,

it would take the fat off my head

and ought to improve my mind.

(telephone ringing)

- That's the telephone, Creole.

- Yes, I'll get it.

- Well, she certainly can cook.

That's more than most of them can do.

- [Creole] Hello?

(triumphant bright music)

- Hello baby.

- What, you!

Leave me alone!

Cut it out!

You!

Look what you did to me!

- Honey, you never learn, do you?

You're the type that can get run over

with a steam roller and come back for a second.

- He grabbed me.

That's all I could do!

- What's with you?

Can't you keep your hands off any doll that walks by?

You want all the women in the world?

- Baby, you're crowding me.

- No one runs Nick Barrow

and no one owns me.

Look, it's time we get off this merry-go-round.

You think I'd take someone like you along with me?

I'm tired of you.

I know you like a book.

You got nothing new to offer.

Get out of here before
I kick your teeth in,

you cheap little tramp.

- Goodbye, Nick.

- Wait honey, wait.

Yeah, honey, wait a minute, wait.

- All right, now I turn the wheel left.

- Left?
- Right.

- Which way do you want me to turn?

- To the left!

- To the left?
- That's right.

- How can the left be right,

If I turn to the left, that's left.

- No, that's right.

- You want me to turn to the left?

- To the left, that's right.

- How can I turn it left

if you want me to go to right?

The right's over that way.

- No, listen, I don't want you to turn it right.

I want you to turn it left.

- You want me

- to turn it left?
- Right.

- Get it right,

- come on now.
- Now which way

do you want me to turn the wheel?

- To the left!
- To the left.

- All right.
- Now look, slicker.

That's the same trouble

I have with my feet in the army.

- Oh, come on!
- Come on.

- Attention!

Now I'm gonna get that Nick Barrow

and make him look like he's driving a wheelbarrow.

- [Announcer] Let's go, all cars for race number four

on the start grid, please.

[indistinct],

Looking to send them on their way.

The flag is up, flare up!

(engine revving)

Nick Barrow on number 19

moves from fourth to first.

Right behind him, the number 11 is Hap Barley.

♪ Crack a pack ♪

♪ Of Cracker Jack ♪

♪ You're bound to crack a smile ♪

♪ Popcorn, peanuts, candy-coated snack ♪

♪ Big surprise in every pack ♪

♪ So crack a pack of Cracker Jack ♪

♪ You're bound to crack a smile ♪

(slow dramatic music)

- You can't stay mad, huh?

- I never should have tried

to keep this outta the papers.

The poor girl, she's had so much publicity all her life.

I'm afraid now there's no alternative.

We'll have to notify the authorities.

- If you hadn't succeeded in giving her that sedative,

there's no telling what would've happened.

- Well, thank heaven,

we got the chains on her arms and legs.

- How long will the morphine be effective?

- No telling with the size of her body,

but we'll have to keep her under sedation

until the state police arrive.

I'll phone the authorities at Baker.

Operator...
(nurse screams)

- Dr., Dr. Cushing, it's her!

She's come to again,

Dr. Cushing!

- Head there, nurse.

More morphine!

(ominous music)

- [Operator] Operator, operator, operator.

This is your operator.

What's going on there?

What's happening?

- Hurry now, add morphine!

- Morphine!

- Oh, she's large!

- Operator, operator!

- I know where my husband is.

He's with that woman!

I'll find you.

- She's gone!

She's heading to town.

(dramatic music)

- [Narrator] That weekend, Valerie and I

went into the country.

There wasn't very much to do

and so we spent most of the time just running about...

running about all over the place like children.

Goodness, how we ran.

We ran and ran and ran and ran and ran.

Valerie always ran faster than me.

She said it was all the smoking I was doing.

But one day, I remember,

I made a tremendous spurt and caught her.

She slipped and fell,

and suddenly I was sprawling all over her,

tumbling and groping and sprawling all over her.

And suddenly, it came to me,

out of the blue almost,

and I knew it was time a socialist got in.

- And so the Chamber of
Commerce has decided to increase

the annual advertising budget here in Las Vegas.

Well, it looks like the FSOOE

that stands for Flying
Saucer Observers of Earth

have a competitor in the Seeing
Strange Things department.

And this time, it's right here in Nevada.

Now it seems that two motorists driving south on Highway 93

barely missed a collision with, now get this,

a 60-foot giant.

What have you got to top that one?

(triumphant music)

- [Presenter] "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

starring the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

And here's Ricky.

Here they are, America's favorite family, the Nelsons.

(man shrieking)

- [Presenter] Whenever Rick and his gang

come over to the house for a party,

we know they always want us

to have plenty of good, cold Milk.

(upbeat lively music)

(light music)

(upbeat lively music)

- Boy, those kids sure have a lot of vitality.

- Hey sister, can you stop your motor for a minute?

- Can't stop now, brother.

My brakes need relining.

♪ A little bird ♪

♪ There's gonna be a swinging ball ♪

♪ Going to be a swinging ball ♪

♪ There's gonna be a swinging ball ♪

♪ I just got the word from a little bird ♪

♪ There's going to be a swinging ball ♪

♪ Saturday night down at the college hall ♪

♪ There'll be ice cream,
Pepsi Cola, hot dogs too ♪

♪ Down at the college hall ♪

♪ Down at the college hall ♪

♪ There'll be ice cream,
Pepsi Cola, hot dogs too ♪

♪ So put on your dancing shoes ♪

♪ And rock away those Thursday blue ♪

♪ Don't you know that Sunday morning ♪

♪ You can all sleep in ♪

♪ There'll be no tag along the chaperones ♪

♪ Down at the college hall ♪

- All right boys, I got a little refreshment here.

That's-
- I just love to help.

- What can I do, Stevie?
- No, no.

- Oh please, Stevie.

- Let me help.
- No, no, no.

- Need some help, brother?

- You help Gogo.

The professor's had enough help already.

- I gonna show the movie soon.

Say how's the chance of me getting a job

as your assistant on the survey?

I could put your material together.

- How many times

have I told you that those questions

are too personal and confidential

to be handled by anybody in the same age group?

Well, just you ask the questions, eh, Mac?

- There we go.

- Why don't you let him help you?

- Skippy?

The kid's got the dirtiest mind in the school.

You let him handle the questionnaire

and he'd be out of his skull in no time.

- Hey there, partner, how you doing?

You have a lot of fun.

Good for you.

Don't fall in there, and...

Everybody, you wanna wear a lampshade

or anything like that?

Like they do at the parties.

Like anybody want to go through

the medicine cabinet or something?

Whatever you want,

I know what it's time to.

How about a little dance?

I just learned the bunny hug from one the kids.

- Oh, I'd dance with you.

- Oh no.

You're too fast for me.

Uh-oh, uh-oh.

- Oh no.
- Oh man.

No wonder I'm mad about you.

- Oh hey, how about something to drink?

What do you say?

Step right up, ladies and gentlemen.

Professor Steven McKinder's elixir.

- This is the worst party of the year.

- Why?

- They're out of Schlitz.

- Don't they have any of the kind?

- Who cares?

When you're out of Schlitz,

you're out of beer.

- Hey baby, that dance got a name?

- Can you see what I'm doing?

- Yeah, you're twisting yourself into a nervous breakdown.

- That's it, brother, the twist!

And if you bruise easily,

oh, stay away from my ifs!

- So that's what they call it, the twist.

♪ It's about a girl that I once knew ♪

♪ She took my love then ran around ♪

♪ With every single guy in town ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ I should have known it from the very start ♪

♪ This girl will leave me with a broken heart ♪

♪ Now listen people what I'm telling you ♪

♪ A-keep away from-a Runaround Sue, yeah ♪

♪ I miss her lips and the smile on her face ♪

♪ The touch of her hair and this girl's warm embrace ♪

♪ So if you don't wanna cry like I do ♪

♪ A-keep away from-a Runaround Sue ♪

♪ Oh, oh, ooh ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ She likes to travel around ♪

♪ She'll love you but she'll put you down ♪

♪ Now people let me put you wise ♪

♪ Sue goes out with other guys ♪

♪ Here's the moral and the story from the guy who knows ♪

♪ I fell in love and my love still grows ♪

♪ Ask any fool that she ever knew, they'll say ♪

♪ Keep away from-a Runaround Sue ♪

♪ I better ♪

♪ Yeah, keep away from this girl ♪

♪ I know, know what she'll do ♪

♪ Keep away from Sue ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ She likes to travel around, yeah ♪

♪ She'll love you but she'll put you down ♪

♪ Now people let me put you wise ♪

♪ Sue goes out with other guys ♪

♪ Here's the moral and the story from the guy who knows ♪

♪ I fell in love and my love still grows ♪

♪ Ask any fool that she ever knew, they'll say ♪

♪ Keep away from-a Runaround Sue ♪

♪ Yeah, stay from her ♪

♪ Don't you know what to do now ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪

- Look at Mac.

His heart's pumping 90 proof blood.

- Yeah, how about us getting outta here

and really going into a high temperature boil?

- And miss any of this?

- That's mighty hot work, Mac.

How about a nice cold drink?

- Oh, yeah.
- Women and children first.

- Hey, how you-

♪ And the million stars above ♪

♪ We say we only play mate ♪

♪ But could it be we've fallen in love ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Hey, could it be we've fallen in love ♪

(crowd cheering)

- Oh, okay, kill the lights.

- Now this is the kind of atmosphere I go for.

- Too bad you're not my ideal.

- Hi.

- You're not my ideal, in face.

(cast laughing)

(triumphant music)

(light dramatic music)

- Crazy title.

- We didn't make that.

- First of all, we've got a house in Washington

which cost $41,000

and in which we owe $20,000.

We have a house in Whittier, California,

which cost $13,000

and on which we owe $3,000.

My folks are living there at the present time.

I have just $4,000 in life insurance,

plus my GI policy,

which I've never been able to convert

and which will run out in two years.

I have no life insurance whatever on Pat.

I have no life insurance on our two youngsters,

Trisha and Julie.

I own a 1950 Oldsmobile car.

We have our furniture.

We have no stocks and bonds of any type.

We have no interest of any kind,

direct or indirect

in any business.

Now that's what we have.

What do we owe?

Well, in addition to the mortgage,

the $20,000 mortgage on the house in Washington,

the $10,000 one on the house in Whittier,

I owe $4,500 to the Riggs
Bank in Washington DC

with interest four and a half percent.

I owe $3,500 to my parents

and the interest on that loan,

which I pay regularly,

because it's the part of the savings

they made through the years,

they were working so hard.

I pay regularly 4% of it.

And then, I have a $500 loan,

which I have on my life insurance.

- Fascinating, horrible but fascinating.

- It isn't very much.

But Pat and I have the satisfaction

that every dime that we got is honestly ours.

I should say this,

that Pat doesn't have a mink coat,

but she does have a respectable
Republican cloth coat.

And I always tell her that she'd look good in anything.

One other thing I probably should tell you,

because if I don't,

they'll probably be saying this about me too,

we did get something, a gift,

after the election.

A man down in Texas heard Pat on the radio mention the fact

that our two youngsters would like to have a dog.

And believe it or not,

the day before we left in this campaign trip,

we got a message from the
Union station in Baltimore

saying they had a package for us.

They went down to get it.

You know what it was?

It was a little Cocker Spaniel dog

in a crate that he'd sent

all the way from Texas,

black and white spotted.

And our little girl,
Trisha, the 6-year-old,

named it Chuck.

And you know, the kids, like all kids, loved the dog.

And I just want to say this right now,

that regardless of what they say about it,

we're gonna keep it.

- He's a very funny man.

- Yeah, I can see.

- And now finally, I know that you wonder

whether or not I am going to stay

on the Republican tickets or resign.

Let me say this.

I don't believe that I ought to quit

because I'm not a quitter.

And incidentally, Pat's not a quitter after all.

Her name was Patricia Ryan

and she was born Saint Patrick's Day.

And you know the Irish never quit.

But the decision, my friends, is not mine.

I would do nothing that would harm

the possibilities of Dwight Eisenhower

to become president of the United States.

And for that reason, I am submitting

to the Republican National Committee

tonight through this television broadcast,

the decision which it is theirs to make.

- Well, maybe we ought to get rid of him,

one of the zoos would buy him.

- Let them decide whether my position on the tickets

will help or hurt.

And I'm going to ask you to help them decide.

Wire and write the
Republican National Committee

whether you think I should stay on

or whether I should get off.

- How did that get in here?

- That's pretty crude.

- What does he think he can get away with anyway?

- I never thought he would go that far.

- Come on, let's get out of here.

- I think maybe it's time we all left.

- Good night, please.

- Boy, oh boy.

They [indistinct] this time.

- Wait'll my old man hears about this.

- What do you mean your old man?

- I'm gonna tell my mother.

- This is too much.

- This is too much even for me.

- I don't understand, I swear.

- Neither do I.

When I got this assignment,

I was only interested in a story.

- But there's been a terrible mistake.

- This certainly has and I made it.

- Why don't you listen to us?

This college has got to change.

- Agreed.
- But not your way.

- All right, I've read it, Greg.

Now can we keep our cool

and I'll get together here at 6:00.

- Okay.

- [Presenter] Often, people who are sensitive to others

can be more sensitive to headache pain.

Bufferin is for these people.

It's strong medicine that treats you gently.

Plain aspirin's fine,

but Bufferin goes to work much faster.

Yet is actually gentler to your stomach.

Because tough problems are tougher on sensitive people,

we believe the strong medicine you need

should treat you gently.

Faster, gentler, Bufferin.

Strong medicine for sensitive people.

(triumphant bright music)

- Well, look what we got down there.

Look out, girl.

Here we come.

(Charlie barks)

- Look out, Charlie.

- I'm having to watch where I'm going, eh?

(light bright music)

(ominous eerie music)

♪ Do, do, do, now ♪

♪ Do, do, do, do, do, doo ♪

♪ That lovely adorable Betsy of mine ♪

♪ Oh, won't she be happy ♪

♪ Sweet Betsy of mine ♪

♪ When we take her flying, that Betsy of mine ♪

♪ She'll hug me and tell me she's not really sore ♪

I've got an idea.

Why don't we fly over

and drop in on that certain someone, huh?

- You haven't got a son.

She gave him away right after he was born.

She doesn't even know who has him.

You haven't got a son.

She gave him away.

(guns firing)

- [Presenter] Watch out!

Watch out for laxatives

that foam, fizz,

fall apart in your stomach.

A laxative that dissolves in your stomach

may cause stomach upset.

As you can see,

it's down here where you need the help.

Not in the stomach,

but down here where the lower digestive system is blocked.

That's why you need
Carter's Little Liver Pills

because they quickly move past your stomach

right into the lower digestive tract.

Immediately, it starts to unclog the blocked passageway.

Unlike ordinary laxatives,

Carter's is guaranteed not to dissolve in your stomach.

No chance of upset.

Leaves your stomach calm.

It works where it should,

deep in the lower digestive tract.

So watch out

for laxatives that foam, fizz,

fall apart in your stomach.

Get Carter's, the laxative that works where it should,

deep in the lower digestive tract.

Carter's Little Liver Pills

for safe regularity without stomach upset.

Only 54 cents.

- Well, I'm gonna-

(light dramatic music)

- [Narrator]...of a surgeon's delicate hands,

trained hands, experienced hands.

It's a tricky case, this one.

The whole lung has been infected.

Everything depends on complete accuracy.

One step could mean death.

To help him concentrate,

Dr. Getty smokes filter tip cigarettes.

(triumphant bright music)

- Your eyes are so large and round.

- What better see you with, my dear.

- Why are your teeth so large, grandmother dear?

- What better to eat you with!

(explosion booming)

- We've been here 20 hours already.

(explosion booming)

I wouldn't mind being so hungry,

but I can't feel my legs anymore.

- I haven't had any feeling in my legs for five hours.

(explosion booming)

- I wonder if Harris got through all right.

- Harris will get through if anybody can.

(explosion booming)

- You know what I wish?

- What?

- I wish I knew what the hell my next line is.

- Why you, saying what?

- [Director] Oh great!

- God, it's rough making pictures,

but ain't it wonderful?

(eerie dramatic music)

- Central, central, I'm in terrible trouble.

Get me Ladies Manor.

No, I don't know the number

but it's close by.

- Yeah, yeah?

Good.

That's a call I've been waiting for Ms. Lane.

Everything's been taken care of except you.

(triumphant music)

- Blinky, don't.

You just got a few years for that jewel robbery.

But for this...

- That's the chance I gotta take.

- No, I don't believe it.

You will, Blinky, you will.

- [Superman] You are just wasting your ammunition, Blinky.

Sit down.

- Hey, let me out, let me out!

- Now a few seconds and it would've been too late, Superman.

- Well, it wasn't this late and that's what counts.

What time is it?

- Just about 12:30.

Well, I can't wait for the police.

I have an important date, excuse me.

(eerie music)

- The line is dead.

(eerie music)

- Captain.

(eerie music)

It's landing!

(sirens wailing)

- Men, prepare to fire up!

Fire!

(guns firing)

- They set up an electronic screen.

The artillery doesn't penetrate.

- There's got to be an explanation somewhere.

I've got your explanation

- for you Tom.
- Ed?

- Now listen, you've known me ever since I came to Paxton.

You know I'm not given to hysteria

and you've got to listen to me with an open mind.

- Take it easy, Ed.

- Locusts.

- What are you talking about?

- I'm talking about giant locusts.

Giant locusts are responsible for all of these.

- Are you not?

- Each one of them has the strength of 10 men.

There are probably 2 or 300 of them.

- So last night, not satisfied with eating a grain,

- they came to Ludlow.
- Yes.

- Even if I went for your story about the size,

it'd be hard to believe they'd attacked people.

Sergeant, that report come in from the chemists?

- No, not yet, sir.

- Why won't you listen?

- I am listening.

- We saw Frank Johnson killed by a giant locust.

- Sure, and there are reliable people

who've also seen flying saucers

and weird little men from Mars.

- You are drunk.

- And you are crazy.

But now I'll be sober tomorrow

and you'll be crazy for the rest of your life.

- What?

- Yeah, it's a riot, ain't it?

♪ In 1942, '43 and '44 ♪

♪ Our country was fighting ♪

♪ In the second world war ♪

♪ The world was scarred and battle worn ♪

♪ But still, there were babies being born ♪

♪ War baby ♪

♪ War is all you know ♪

♪ War baby ♪

♪ Where did your daddy go ♪

♪ War baby ♪

♪ Now in 1967 ♪

♪ War baby is a man ♪

♪ Another defenseless country ♪

♪ Is fighting for their land ♪

♪ So again, our country marched off to war ♪

♪ But the war baby is not a baby anymore ♪

♪ War baby ♪

♪ War baby ♪

♪ War is all you know ♪

♪ War baby ♪

♪ Are you ready to go ♪

(triumphant upbeat music)

- Hey, hey, hey Tony.

Something's happened to your lights.

- I got eyes I can see.

- Who needs lights?

- I am a wreck, I am wreck!

- No, you're fine this morning.

- Oh, I've got my interview today.

Where did I leave my eyelashes?

- You'll feel a lot cooler

if you just use some Johnson Baby powder.

- Why did I cut my hair?

I look like a screw.

- Who am I?
- I have no idea.

But you'll feel a lot better

if you just use some baby powder.

- [Presenter] If it's going to be one of those days

when you need to keep a little cooler,

a little drier and a lot more comfortable.

It was Pure Johnson's baby powder.

- Oh, my baby powder.

Oh boy, do I need that.

- [Announcer] Again, number 19,

Nick Barrow almost cut number 11,

Hap Barley, off the course.

And as they go by the start finish line,

it looks to me like these two

are having themselves a personal battle.

Barley starts to pull away.

He leaves by 10 yards,

by 20 by 30.

Barrow trying desperately to catch him.

And I don't think he can do it.

And it's Hap Barley, the winner!

(engine revving)
(crowd cheering)

- Yeah! We win!

- We win!

(engine revving)

- [Announcer] Don't forget the big winner tonight...

- Break it up!

Here come the cops.

(dramatic music)

- Hey, it's Cody.

(guns firing)

- Every man for himself, fellas.

- Oh, there you are, boss.

(guns firing)

- You got enough ammunition?

- Get down.

(guns firing)

(triumphant music)

- The Thunder Riders are coming.

Run for your life!

- Gentlemen, this is the last straw.

Where's my Stradivarius?

- Here sir.

- I'll show 'em they can't fiddle around with old fire fly.

(guns firing)

Look at 'em run.

Now they know they've been in a war.

- Your excellency!

- They're fleeing like rats.

- But sir, I've got the truth.

- Remind me to give myself the firefly medal for this.

- Your excellency!

You're shooting your own men.

- What?

- You're shooting your own men!

- Here's $5, keep it under your hat.

Never mind, I'll keep it under my hat.

- Did they teach you this one?

- Now we must do something about this,

not just during the holiday season,

but 365 days of the year

- We have run this program for an important announcement.

The giant locusts have reached the Chicago south side

and nearby suburbs.

I repeat, the giant locusts have reached

the Chicago south side and nearby suburbs.

Keep calm, take shelter in basements.

Take shelter in basements.

Do not panic.

Attention, please!

Keep moving.

Do not block the highway.

Great deal traffic here for
Country Road, you think?

- Keep going.
- Yeah.

- [Announcer] Push stall cars off road at once.

Keep all traffic moving.

Do not panic.

(eerie ominous music)

- General.
- Admiral Sames.

Grab a chair and sit down.

- I sent for you because of a new development.

- The Air Force is standing by,

the B-52 loaded with an atom bomb.

- You can't drop an atom bomb on Chicago.

- Washington has given me authority to do just that,

as the last contingency.

- If the bomb has dropped early tomorrow,

there'll be no loss of life.

The city will be evacuated by then.

- But what about the property?

It'd be a billion dollars worth of damage

in a site that's too contaminated to rebuild on.

- I realize that.

But if we don't drop the bomb,

Chicago will almost certainly fall.

The bomber crew is alerted

for a drop of dawn.

(dramatic music)

- [Presenter] If you are at home

when a surprise attack occurs,

haul beneath the table if it is very near

or drop to the floor with your back to the window.

(eerie ominous music)

The immediate danger is over in about a minute.

Unless the explosion occurred

near the ground or water.

(explosion booming)

In this case, radioactive materials

are trapped in the particles of dirt or water

thrown up by the explosion.

When these particles fall back to earth,

they may be dangerous.

So get indoors immediately after a ground level explosion.

Cover broken windows against radioactive dust

with blankets or cardboard.

(dramatic music)

Civil defense radiological teams

equipped with radiation survey meters

will check on contamination in any bombed area.

Stay undercover until you hear officially

that it is safe outside.

If you have been exposed to radioactive dust,

wash the exposed areas.

Pay particular attention to your hair.

Get all the dirt from under your fingernails.

If the people of Hiroshima and Nagasaki

had known what we know about civil defense,

thousands of lives would've been saved.

(dramatic music)

- [Narrator] With heavy heart,

we continued our journey,

missing Wayne a hundred times a day.

(dramatic music)

- Oh, locusts!

- Ager, we'd better camp here tonight

until the locusts had passed.

This bad place to Camp
Goanna, this lion country.

- Anyhow, I think this is our best bet.

Light fires tonight and keep a sharp lookout.

- Azudi, Azudi, Simba,
Simba, Simba, Simba!

- [Narrator] It did seem we were having more

than our share of bad luck.

We ran into swarms of locusts.

We're attacked by animals.

♪ There is a house in New Orleans ♪

♪ They call the Rising Sun ♪

♪ And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy ♪

♪ Dear God, I know I was one ♪

♪ My mother was a tailor ♪

♪ She sewed my new blue jeans ♪

♪ And my father was a gamblin' man ♪

♪ Way down in New Orleans ♪

♪ And the only thing a gambler needs ♪

♪ Is a suitcase and a trunk ♪

♪ And the only time he's satisfied ♪

♪ Is when he's a drunk ♪

♪ There is a house in New Orleans ♪

♪ They call the Rising Sun ♪

♪ And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy ♪

♪ Dear God, I know I was one ♪

(audience cheering)

(engine revving)

- [Presenter] Out of the blue of the western sky

comes Sky King.

(engine revving)

- Songbird to flying crown,

songbird deaf flying crown,

come in, please.

Songbird to flying crown,

songbird deaf flying crown,

come in, penny,

come in, please.

Songbird to Sheriff,

come in, Mitch.

- [Mitch] Mitch here, Sky, what's up?

- I can't raise Penny at the ranch, Mitch.

I just wondered if something was wrong.

- Nothing's wrong? She came up here with Kent.

- She did?
- Yeah.

- I'll have her contact in a few minutes, Sky.

- Thanks.

- But I'm not in danger, Uncle Sky.

I'm not anywhere near the fire.

- Oh now, Penny, listen carefully.

I want you to drive as fast as you can.

Back to the ranch.

Get a box of dynamite

and some dynamite caps out of the storage shed.

And meet me on the air strip.

- Right.
- Songbird out.

- Dynamite?

- That's what the man said, dynamite.

- But what does he want Dynamite for?

- No time to ask questions.

He said hurry, let's go.

(bright music)

- [Presenter] Now, you can be Batman

in your very own Batmobile by Marx!

Comes complete with package.

No batteries needed ever.

Just back up to wind the powerful spring motor,

set the brake, release,

and holy blast off.

Away you go!

In your very own Batmobile by Marx.

And now look what's coming.

(eerie music)

- [Presenter] These are
Excedrin headaches, listen.

- [Presenter] The young
Americans are on the screen.

Share their adventures,

their young romances.

A truly different motion picture.

Young Americans, young adventures,

young romances, young Americans.

Young Americans, a truly different motion picture.

Young Americans.

The young Americans are on the screen.

Share the excitement of preview audiences.

- [Presenter] There's only one movie

that I've enjoyed more than this.

And that was Julie Andrews in "Sound of Music."

- [Presenter] Young adventures, young romances,

young Americans in color.

In color.

In color.

In color.

- [Presenter] Here now,

it's just one abomination after another.

- [Presenter] The "Shoemaker and the Elves."

A gigantic, glorious spectacle

for children of all ages.

Touched with laughter of angels

and sprinkled with stardust

is the timeless tale of the elves

who take over while the town sleeps.

See the elves make the shoes in the cobbler's shop.

See the elves capture a robber in a barrel of tire.

See the tailor's wife try to capture the elves.

See all the wonders in the big toy shop.

From the magical world of the Brothers Grimm,

K. Gordon Murray brings another wonderful fantasy.

See the "Shoemaker and the Elves"

in color scope.

(light playful music)

- Hey, that looks like a goodie.

(objects rattling)

- What seemed like a joke or a prank,

but a few hours ago has now become a reality,

a reality and a king size package over 60-feet tall.

Police Chief Benson has asked me

to tell you to stay in your home.

Stay in your home.

The army is rushing two doctors to Las Vegas

by way of helicopter.

They apparently know what to do with the giant.

(sirens wailing)

- We will try to pick up some of the action

and excitement through our window.

- We can't see him,

but from a panic out on the street,

he must be, wait a minute,

here he is!

The 60-foot giant in the street to Las Vegas.

Look at the size of that man.

- That's the way it is.

So you'll have to be out by Thursday.

- You know, our kids were born right here.

- Wait till they see a new place.

- [Presenter] Often people who are sensitive to others

can be more sensitive to headache pain.

Bufferin is for these people.

It's strong medicine that treats you gently.

Plain aspirin's fine,

but Bufferin goes to work much faster.

Yet is actually gentler to your stomach.

We believe the strong medicine you need

should treat you gently.

Faster, gentler Bufferin,

strong medicine for sensitive people.

(triumphant bright music)

- [Narrator] Ms. Helen Matthews.

- This is the ideal average figure

of the modern American woman.

And note I said average.

Did I hear someone say figures like that

don't exist outside Hollywood in the art galleries?

But they do.

The physical proportions of this lovely body

are the result of taking neck, bust, waist,

hip, arm, leg measurements

of thousands of average American women

ages 16 to 40.

She's crying too hard and getting nowhere fast.

Oh my, she spoiled another sheet.

In a case like this,

pause from your work for a moment.

Relax that tension.

Enemy number one,

this lady is spreading millions of cold germs

next to all these young trainees

and the instructor

to possible cold infection.

One of the causes of their mysterious suffering

that seems to evade their diagnosis,

but at the same time,

to invade every fiber of their bodies

is unhappy feet.

Unhappy feet can make a pessimist

out of an optimist overnight.

That means foot trouble

and so does this.

First, sterilize the needle with a lighted match.

(gentle light music)

Then, prick the blister at the lower end,

just open enough to empty fluid from the blister.

Don't remove the skin.

Then, cover the blister with a good sized strip

of zinc oxide plaster and leave it on for several days.

For corns or soft corns,

report to your medical officer immediately

and be sure to report also if you think

you have that painful fungus infection, athletes' foot.

Symptoms: a cracked skin,

painful inflammation between or below the toes.

Athlete's foot can spread to others

as quickly as the seven year itch.

- [Presenter] It does them good just to look at her.

Yes, men are simple creatures.

It gives them a lift to see a girl

looking her most attractive on the job.

- But you have the cramps and have to go to bed.

- Isn't something wrong

if your period doesn't come every 28 days?

- Is it abnormal that the amount of flow is always changing?

- Are we expected to suffer

and still go about our business as usual

when we have the curse?

- Let's clear the fog once and for all.

First, I want to say that there's no need

to consider menstruation a curse.

It's just nature's way of readying your body

of its preparation for pregnancy.

This whole process should take place

as painlessly and as easily as digestion.

The fact that it doesn't with some of you

may be due to a variety of reasons.

And that brings to that question cramps.

If you'll notice the position of the uterus

between the rectum and the bladder,

you'll realize that pressure on it from constipation

will cause cramps

and a heavy feeling in the abdomen.

Muscles, good ways to relieve this feeling

are physical activity and application of heat.

They both stimulate circulation of blood

and relax the muscles.

So you see, there are many causes

for irregularities in the menses

beside the obvious ones of pregnancy and menopause.

If your periods are irregular,

it's a good thing to go to the medical officer.

The choice between the external pad and the tampon

is a purely personal one

and depends largely on what you find is a safer

and more convenient protection for you.

So there's no reason why life still can't begin at 40

and it often does.

I think many women would lose their fear of menopause

if once they realized that menopause

means only the end of their childbearing life

and not the end of their sexual life,

their attractiveness or their usefulness.

- Forward march!

- So you see, there's no need to get excited

about normal female functions.

They're just a part of your life.

You can always take them in your stride.

She's learned a lot.

See how smoothly and skillfully her makeup is blended.

She can be proud of that job.

And she certainly is proud of her uniform

and she keeps it in a condition to reflect that pride.

The hang of your uniform depends not only on the fitting

but on what you have to hang it on.

She even sees to it that her dog tags

are warm and well-dressed.

Yes, by keeping yourselves

and your belongings in perfect shape,

you are showing the world and GI Joe

that you're a mighty sharp looking lot.

But more important, you also showing them

that efficiency, endurance, stability,

and courage are by no means exclusively stag affairs.

(triumphant bright music)

- [Presenter] Here we have a lead pipe

and there's a hole in it.

Now we know that lead doesn't rust and get holes that way.

So we'll get a magnifying glass and see...

Well, we have 'em right here, the culprit.

It's a beetle.

♪ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ With a love like that ♪

♪ You know you should be glad ♪

♪ With a love like that ♪

♪ You know you should be glad ♪

♪ With a love like that ♪

♪ You know you should be glad ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

(audience cheering)

- [Presenter] And the camera takes us

to beautiful Washington D.C.,

the national capital of our United States

situated on the broad banks of the Potomac River.

Living is pleasant and leisurely.

(eerie ominous music)

- Captain, I want these positions held.

I want them held at all costs if humanly possible.

Captain have your map

people immediately turn out 300 overlays.

Showing the Chicago defense line is tentatively set.

Yes?

(eerie ominous music)

(volcano thudding)

(animals squealing)

(mom shouting)

(child crying)

(lava burbling)

(woman shouting)

(child crying)

(dramatic foreboding music)

- Maybe we can get out along that side.

- That didn't take long, did it?

- No.

(eerie ominous music)

(objects rumbling)

- I never even knew I hit him.

- It was horrible.

We must have weapons we've never even dreamed of.

- Well that figures,

they were smart enough to get here in the first place.

- Ran in two squadrons of bombers, Heinkel 111.

Detective cover one squadron a Messerschmitt 110.

The time we intercepted,

we were at the limit of our raid.

Gary, of course, planning the raid,

had figured on that.

But the result that we just couldn't hang on long enough.

I think we got two 110s.

I'm not sure but they are probable.

- Oh!

- Very funny.

- [Director] Got it.

- Boy, what a great picture this is.

- I'll say it is.

Well, here goes the last reel.

(ominous music)

(sirens wailing)

- What happened?

- Was it a giant woman?

- Going to our town?

That's her!

(sirens wailing)

- [Nancy] Harry!

- She'll tear up the whole town till she finds Harry.

- Yeah, and then she'll tear up Harry.

- Hey, what's going on here?

- [Nancy] Harry!

- Sounds like someone calling your name.

- [Nancy] Harry!

Harry!

- Get your wife!

She's wrecking the town looking for you.

Come on, I gotta get you outta here!

- No! You keep me out there,

she'll kill me, she's crazy.

- Come on, Mr. Archer!

We gotta get out of here.

- It's yours, Deputy, do something!

- I can't shoot a lady.

- Give me that gun.

Give me that gun!

(guns firing)

- No, no, no, Mrs. Archer!

(people shouting)
(objects clattering)

- Help me.

- She's dead.

- No, no, Nancy.

Nancy, no!

Nancy, Nancy, Nancy, no!

Nancy, no!

Nancy, don't!

- Oh, no.

- Don't Nancy! No!

No! Not for this.

No! Put me down!

You killed Honey, Nancy!

No! You're crushing me, I can't breathe!

- She's got Harry.

She's got Harry.

(people shouting)

- Put him down, Mrs. Archer!

(guns firing)

(engine revving)

- Keep it in your field so it can't fire at us.

(big bird shrieking)

(dramatic suspenseful music)

(dramatic suspenseful music)

(big bird shrieking)

(engine revving)

- It doesn't make sense.

It's just a bird,

a big bird.

Guns, cannons, rockets, it's just a bird!

- Sure, it's just a bird.

$10 million worth of radar can't track it.

Enough firepower to wipe out a regimen

can't even slow it down.

Sure, it's just a bird.

- What are we going-

- Birds.

(big bird shrieking)

- The birds! He rises!

(captain shouting)

(dramatic suspenseful music)

(dramatic suspenseful music continues)

- Mommy.

- She's coming out of it.

- Yeah, little color on her face.

(engine revving)

(eerie ominous music)

(big bird shrieking)

(dramatic ominous music)

(guns firing)

(eerie music)

- There it is now,

attacking the United Nations building.

(big bird shrieking)

(sirens wailing)

- Ah!

There's more room over there!

- What are you trying to do?

Come on in here.

- Will you watch out?

Look out! Look out! Spread out!

(dramatic suspenseful music)

- Here's the dynamite caps.

- Thank you.

All right, Penny, you go back to the house

and get on the short wave set.

- But Sky, can I go with you?

- I'm afraid this better be a solo flight, honey.

You stick with communications, huh?

- All right.

- Thanks for the dynamite, Ken.

You stick with Penny on the short wave.

That way, we'll get all the news.

- And not me, Sky.

I'm one of those on-the-spot reporters.

I'm going with you.

- Uh-uh, this could be a pretty rough run.

- Now, wait a minute, Sky.

I don't wanna pull rank on you,

but you see this press pass?

It's my ticket for this flight.

You can't turn me down.

So what do you say?

- What can I say?

(foreboding dramatic music)

(guns firing)

(locusts screeching)

- Open the dynamite.

We'll put the caps on.

- Right.

- Is that right?

- Sure is.

All right, put the lid on.

Hey, hey! Take it easy.

(engine revving)

- Hey, get ready, open the door.

I'll count down, Ken.

Five, four, three, two,

one, let her go!

(explosion booming)

- Your excellency, we can't hold out much longer.

We must have help!

- Man, do you recognize us?

We do not harm you.

Okay, Eric, let's go.

Drive it in hard.

We have to penetrate the bone in the first injection.

I doubt it'll get a second chance.

- You ready?

One, two, three!

(giant grunting)

(doctors shouting)

(dramatic ominous music)

(guns firing)

(giant grunting)

(dramatic foreboding music)

(explosion booming)

- 75 miles an hour around the curve.

That speed crazy fool.

Ozzie cops, always crowding the guy.

Everybody's always crowding me.

(guns firing)

(explosion booming)

- What a wasted life to die like that.

- Well, it had to happen.

(locusts screeching)

- We can't hold out much longer!

(guns firing)

- This is Firefight talking,

send the help at once!

- Help is on the way!

- Carry on, man.

Help is on the way!

(sirens wailing)

(shots firing)

(big bird shrieking)

(dramatic suspenseful music)

(engine revving)

- Here it goes.

(explosion booming)

Dropping these bombs,

follow in order.

Dump them all.

- Flying Crown, Songbird to Flying Crown.

Come in, please.

I sure hope Penny's doing her job.

- I am so doing my job, Sky.

That's a fine thing to say.

Flying Crown receiving Songbird, over.

- Well from here, it looks like they got the fire

pretty well under control, Penny.

(dramatic music)

- Men have succeeded with the gods of faith.

(thunder thudding)

(jazz upbeat music)

(explosion booming)

(eerie music)

- What did you hit him with?

- My brand new 100% completed hot rod.

- You'd have had to start in the next county

to get up enough momentum to do that to him.

- Not with four quarts of nitroglycerin riding with you.

- You rode across that rough field carrying nitro?

- Yes, sir.

- Do you know what could have happened to you?

- It did, I lost my car.

- Ho, ho, don't worry about that.

Railroad will be glad to buy you a new one.

(lively jazz music)

I thought I told you to keep those kids up at the barn?

- Well, how do you arrest a bunch of kids

going in all different directions?

- Do you realize what had had happened

if that thing had turned back?

Same thing that happened to Pat.

- Sheriff, your job is a much bigger one than I thought.

- Sheriff, you're not going to use that on there.

- What do you want me to do?

Put sonar on her tail?

(guns firing)

- She's down!

- Let's take a look.

(dramatic music)

(eerie ominous music)

(explosion booming)

(dramatic ominous music)

- [Announcer] The present danger is ended.

The present danger is ended.

The present danger is ended.

The present danger is ended.

All units report to your commanders for further orders.

The present danger is ended.

- This stupid pie was the cause of the whole mess.

- In his own twisted and distorted lexicon,

he calls it faith, strength, truth.

But in just a moment,

Peter Vollmer will apply his...

- Huh, this explains why
Vollmer and his men were here.

They are the ones that have been selling rifles

to the Indians.

And I'll see to it that they're paid for their crimes.

- Major, who is the masked man?

- Why, he and his Indian friend are gone.

- He saved our lives twice today

and I haven't yet been able to thank him for it.

- I know.

He never stays around to be thanked.

He gets his thanks from helping others.

He's the Lone Ranger.

- It turned into a happy ending for everybody.

- And just to make the ending a little more happy,

I have a present for each of us.

- Cheaper staff albums.

Thank you, Mr. Kent.

- You have an extra one.

Who's that for?

- Oh, just for a friend of mine.

- Yes sir, we're pals!

And pals stick together.

And now gang, don't forget church or Sunday school.

And remember, Andy's
Gang will get together

right here at this same time next week too.

So long, fellas and gals!

- [Audience] So long, Andy!

(triumphant dramatic music)

- I leave you gentlemen now...

and you will now write it.

You will interpret it at your right.

But as I leave you,

I want you to know,

just think how much you're gonna be missing.

You don't have Nixon to kick around anymore

because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference.

- All three men.
- (audience applauding)

Boy.

(dramatic suspenseful music)

- Bye, Zamba! Bye!

(triumphant music)

(dramatic foreboding music)

- She finally got Harry all to herself.

(dramatic foreboding music)

- What can I say?

- Good night.

(dramatic music)

(dramatic ominous music)

- This could mean the end.

- That's what I'm afraid of.

(light dramatic music)

- I am sure glad that's over with.

(triumphant music)

- That's all, folks!

- A message from the Almighty.

(man laughs)

(gentle light music)

- Goodnight, ladies and gentlemen.

- Goodnight, everyone!

- Goodnight, gents.

- Goodnight, David.

- Aren't we the same?

Goodnight, folks.

And goodnight. Mrs. Calabesh,

wherever you are.

- The world stands out on either side,

no wider than the heart is wide.

Above the world is stretched the sky,

no higher than the soul is high, peace.

♪ Now it's time to say goodbye ♪

♪ To all our company ♪

♪ M-I-C ♪

♪ See you real soon ♪

♪ K-E-Y ♪

♪ Why? Because we like you ♪

♪ M-O-U-S-E ♪

♪ Happy trails to you ♪

♪ Until we meet again ♪

♪ Happy trails to you ♪

♪ Keep smiling until then ♪

♪ Happy trails to you ♪

♪ Till we meet again ♪