Original subtitles

- Stop complaining, will you?

- Well, I paid to get in

and I'd like to see a good picture.

- We did not pay to get in.

We got in on a pass for nothing

and this ought to be good.

- Well, yes, it ought to be good for nothing.

(quirky dramatic music)

- I recommend it to anyone.

- And I think a lot of people should see it, even kids.

- I'm coming back.

- Yeah, I'll be back again too.

- I don't know how the kids feel,

but I really found out

what they're thinking in this picture.

- The best scene to me was...

Well, when they went in together

and got a karate chop right in the neck,

and strike them. (crowd laughing)

- And I like the ending.

I like, well, it was a sad ending

and I like, well, I get emotional.

- I'm going to enjoy this.

- It's a really big show.

(rocket rumbling)

(objects clattering) (people shouting)

- Say kids, what time is it?

- Howdy Doody Time!

- Oh boy, oh boy, kids!

Look at those purple marbles.

[indistinct]

- He hasn't reckoned with Phineas the genius but...

- Fully obnoxious.

- It has taken 2000 years of civilization to allow you

as a consenting adult

to view this motion picture.

- Everything is going to be beautiful.

- Well, Drake and the Indians have got Carson surrounded.

With Carson out of the way,

the rest of our problem is simple.

- Look.

- I'll send Midnight after them.

Midnight, Midnight, come here.

Go get 'em, Midnight.

(hooves thudding)

(Midnight neighing)

- Midnight's going after the girl.

(hooves thudding)

♪ Here I come to save the day ♪

♪ That means that Mighty Mouse is on the way ♪

♪ Yes sir, when there is a wrong to right ♪

♪ Mighty Mouse will join the fight ♪

♪ On the sea or on the land ♪

♪ He's got the situation well in hand ♪

- Hiya, boys and girls!

I've got a great show for you today

and you're going to like it.

Get set, you're going to see some of my favorite pictures.

(triumphant dramatic music)

(triumphant dramatic music)

- Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

This is KRKR-TV

and now for the latest news...

Early tonight, the captain of a Swedish icebreaker

in the Barents Sea

reported "Seeing a strange red fireball

come out of the sky," says the captain.

"It hovered above my ship for about a minute,

and then headed south by southwest," unquote.

Radio Cairo reports a herd of camel stampeded

by a comet-like object

streaking southwest across the Sahara.

And in Cape Town Africa, a boar, no doubt,

reports a similar flash across the sky.

And still one more, ladies and gentlemen.

A farmer in Auckland, New Zealand

reported the strange glowing object,

this time moving northeast.

Now let's see, Barents Sea,

Cairo, Auckland,

New Zealand.

Considering the timetable of these reports,

the stranger from space should be over our California desert

in a matter of minutes.

(engine revving)

(eerie ominous music)

(tires screeching)

- Harry, Harry!

What'll your wife say?

- She'll say plenty. Tonight, anyhow.

You see the way she tore outta here in that big car of hers.

- She caught us nodding to each other.

- She'll make up for all the things

she hasn't caught us doing. So fed up.

Never should have agreed to go back

to her once we were separated.

- Why did you?

- You know why.

I couldn't pry one nickel out her.

The community property routine only works for women.

Man hasn't got a chance.

- Unless the wife dies.

I didn't say anything.

- You were thinking it.

- Not the same thing.

Didn't you say she was in the nuthouse for a while?

- Private sanitarium.

- What's the difference?

She was off her rocker, wasn't she?

- I suppose so.

Probably got some fancy name for it.

Mostly she'd have these violent headaches

and she got falling down drunk.

Still has 'em to this day.

What are you getting at?

- Oh, come on now, Harry.

Let's not be naive.

You've made a good start now, follow through.

She's on the brink and you know it.

- I don't know it.

Dr. Cushing seems to be helping her a lot.

She's tapering off in the bottle too.

Hardly took a drink all evening.

You saw her.

- All she needs is a little help.

Play the husband right to the end.

Once she's in the booby hatch,

throw the key away.

That'll put you in the driver's seat.

- You'd make a wild driver, Harry,

with 50 million bucks.

- Harry!

Harry, help me!

- Mrs. Archer! Mrs. Archer! - What's the matter?

Here, somebody gimme a hand!

Take her into the office.

Hey chief, chief!

- Mrs. Archer. - Harry.

- Go on, folks, go on, go on.

Nothing you can do around here.

Go find Harry while I take care of Mrs. Archer.

- All right, just break it up.

- Now, come on, Mrs. Archer.

Come on and sit down in the car.

I'll send somebody for some black coffee.

- Black coffee?

You think I'm drunk, don't you?

All of you,

I'm not drunk, I'm not!

- You've got to believe me. - Please.

- It was right the middle of the highway,

30-feet tall!

It left the sky.

- I know that.

- You don't believe me, do you?

- What's new in Colgate Dental Cream

that's missing, missing, missing

in every other leading toothpaste?

It's Gardol and Colgate with Gardol gives up to seven times

longer protection against tooth decay

and a cleaner, fresher breath all day

with just one brushing.

And here's how the Gardol in Colgate works.

Now just as this invisible shield help protect me,

Gardol forms an invisible protective shield

around your teeth

that fights tooth decay all day with just one brushing.

And Colgate with Gardol cleans your breath

while it guards your teeth.

Colgate is safe too,

even for children under six.

So what's new in Colgate Dental Cream

that's missing, missing, missing

in every other leading toothpaste?

It's Gardol and Colgate with Gardol gives up to seven times

longer protection against tooth decay

and a cleaner, fresher breath all day

with just one brushing.

- Hey Mr. Archer. - Mm-hmm.

- Mr. Archer.

- What is it, Charlie?

Oh, all right, I get the message.

- She's over at the sheriff's office.

Kind of bad shape, pretty hysterical.

- You couldn't find me tonight, Charlie.

I took a cab home.

- Sure, sure, I get it, Mr. Archer,

thanks a lot.

- So she's tapering off, hmm?

Hardly took a drink all evening?

- Must have had a bottle in the car, I don't know.

- Found Mr. Archer?

- Well, he took a cab home, Chief.

- Or Charlie, go get the riot gun.

We're taking a ride in the desert with Mrs. Archer.

- Right.

Why the heavy artillery, Chief?

- There's a flying satellite

and a 30-foot giant a few miles out on 66.

- A 30-foot giant?

Oh, no!

- Some for you,

some for you,

and some for you.

- Mmm, that tastes swell.

- It's Colgate Dental Cream.

Watch this wonderful story

about Colgate Dental Cream, Happy Tooth

and the meanest man in the world,

old Mr. Tooth Decay.

- [Happy Tooth] [indistinct]

- [Colgate] Hello, Happy tooth.

I see you're training your dogs to do tricks.

- [Happy Tooth] Oh yes, Mr. Colgate Dental Cream.

And this big Saint Bernard dog has joined my training class.

Isn't he friendly?

- [Tooth Decay] Ha, ha, ha!

He thinks I'm a friendly Saint Bernard, does he?

Wait 'till he finds out I'm Mr. Tooth Decay.

- [Colgate] Let's not take any chances, Happy Tooth,

in case old Mr. Tooth Decay is around.

Let me brush you with my wonderful ingredient, Gardol!

Just brush, brush, brush

and up goes the invisible protective shield

against tooth decay.

- [Tooth Decay] Ha, ha, ha!

Now to leap out of this dog's skin

and get that little happy tooth!

- [Happy Tooth] It's Mr. Tooth Decay!

- [Tooth Decay] Oh, no!

Not Gardol again!

(dogs barking)

Help! Help me!

- [Colgate] To put old Tooth Decay to flight,

use Colgate Dental Cream tonight.

- [Happy Tooth] Look for swell tasting

Colgate Dental Cream in the red and white box.

(playful music)

- To fight old Tooth Decay that way,

use Colgate Dental Cream each day.

And for the swellest tasting toothpaste you've ever had,

look for the red and white box

and the name Colgate Dental Cream with Gardol.

- I didn't run all the way to town

just for a lecture, Sheriff.

- We'd be glad to escort you home, Mrs. Archer.

- No thanks.

(engine revving)

- She's tearing outta here

like she was heading for the moon!

- Poor, mixed-up Mrs. Archer.

Hmm, feel kind of sorry for her.

- Yeah, well, I feel a lot sorrier for her husband

if she ever catches him with that Honey Parker

he's got stashed at the hotel.

Woo, what a doll!

- Yeah.

- [Presenter] Joseph E. Levine presents

Hollywood's biggest star.

- The one, the only.

- [Audience] Groucho!

- That's me. - (audience applauding)

- Well, here I am again

with $1,500 for one of our couples, George.

And if any of them say the secret word, ah,

Ducky here will swoop down and pay 'em $100.

Here's the money right here.

What's the word?

"Heart." Okay, take 'em away, yeah?

What we put on the air...

our studio audience selected a weightlifter.

Mr. John Farbotnik

- and his partner. - Please,

don't make up any names here. (everyone laughs)

Give us the official names they actually are.

We have enough trouble.

The weightlifter's name is Mr. John Farbotnik

and the housewife is Mrs. Regina Roberts.

And here they are, folks,

meet Groucho Marx right up here.

- Welcome, welcome to "You Bet Your Life", kids.

- Hello, sir. - And if you say

the secret word, you'll divide $100.

It's a common word,

something you always have with you.

Mr. John Farbotnik, that's what it is.

Doesn't seem possible,

but that's what it is. (audience laughing)

Gotta keep my trap shut.

You're a weightlifter, right?

- That's right. - Weightlifter, huh?

Where are you from, Muscle Shoals?

- Well, originally I'm from Philadelphia,

but I'm traveling

the last few years - Lemme get my laugh,

would you? (audience laughing)

How would you like it if you said something brilliant

and I rode right over it like that.

Just be patient, son.

We'll get all this trivia of you before we're through here.

Where are you from, Muscle Shoals?

(audience laughing)

Went better the first time I say it.

(audience laughing)

Where are you from?

- Well, originally I'm from Philadelphia,

but I've been traveling last few years.

- Well, (audience laughing)

I'm sure that I can't help you out on that.

Have you spoken to the police in these various cities?

You're still from Muscle Shoals, huh?

- No, I'm from Santa Monica right now.

But I've been traveling... Chicago, Philadelphia.

- Santa Monica, that's interesting.

I used to play one of those...

just hang your bag right there

and we'll fill it with oats later on.

(audience laughing)

You sure you're not from Muscle Shoals?

- No, I'm not.

- It's such a funny place to be from, Mrs. Roberts.

Are you from Muscle Shoals?

- No, sir.

- Where are you from?

- New York, originally.

- And what sort of work does your husband do, Mrs...

- Roberts. - Mrs. Roberts, yeah.

- He was a policeman in New York.

- Oh, how did you meet him?

- My sister was expecting a baby.

And you know how babies unexpectedly come,

try to call the doctor and we just couldn't locate him.

So I had heard that if you call the police department,

they might bring assistance.

So my husband, another policeman,

came and he delivered the baby.

And then after that,

he used to come to visit the baby as a pretext.

He used to say he wanted to see

how the baby was coming along

- And he was really coming there

to see your sister? (audience laughing)

- No, he was coming to see me!

And after that time, I never had a sweetheart.

So, that was all right.

(alarms blaring)

- They said sweetheart, Groucho!

- They did.

- That was for the sweet reward!

- You said sweetheart, and you and John,

Mr. Farbotnik, are going to split $100.

- Oh, thank you. - (audience applauding)

- Well, your husband's got $50 tonight

that he didn't have this morning, eh?

- I have it. - (audience applauding)

- Well, there is a difference.

Our... wait, I forgot his name.

Oh, John, I called you John, huh?

I'll call you Farbotnik.

That's easier than John.

Well, there's no point, John,

in having a perfect body if you don't show it anybody.

Would you mind giving us

a peek at your framework?

- Here?

- Why not?

You do it at the beach, don't you?

- Well, the beach, it's all right.

But not in front of an audience.

(audience laughing)

- Well, this is hardly an audience.

Just look at them, right?

(audience laughing)

Come on, take your coat off and shirt

and let's see what a real man looks like.

And that goes for you too, Mrs. Roberts.

- We play no favorites here.

- Woo! - (audience whistling)

- Now there, restrain yourself out there.

- Woo! - (audience whistling)

- Are you sure you're not from Muscle Shoals?

(audience laughing)

Say, are those real muscles?

- They sure are.

- They are, eh?

Now, how often do you have to pump 'em up?

- Well, I exercise 'em three times a week.

- How big are your measurements?

I mean, how big is your chest?

That is your chest there,

isn't it? (audience laughing)

About 50 inches.

- 50 inches?

Is that up and down or around?

Well, how much is it expanded, John?

Well, it's 50 inches expanded and 48 normal.

- Uh-huh, is it normal now or expanded?

- Well, it's normal now.

Well, blow it up, will you?

- Woo! - (audience whistling)

- And I was pretty fresh with him

at the beginning, you remember?

(audience applauding)

- Now Mrs. Roberts, how does your husband

compare with his Greyhound bust?

(audience laughing)

- He doesn't have those muscles,

but I like him better.

- I see, I like my husband.

But, oh, you Farbotnik...

Say John, would you object

if Mrs. Roberts felt your muscles?

- Not at all.

- Go ahead, Mrs. Roberts.

They won't bite you.

(audience cheering)

- I feel like giving my husband lessons.

- What do you think, Mrs. Roberts?

Would you be willing to leave your happy home

for this Neanderthal man, here?

- Oh, I'll still keep my husband.

- Well, everyone of his own taste.

Some people even like eggplant.

- We'll be back in a minute with something or other

and now get a load of this.

- Here are the Four Seasons with "Walk Like a Man."

("Walk Like a Man")

♪ Ooh-wee-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-Ooh, ooh-wee ♪

♪ Walk, walk, walk ♪

♪ Ooh-wee-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Walk like a man ♪

♪ Oh, how you tried to cut me down to size ♪

♪ Tellin' dirty lies to my friends ♪

♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah, ooh-ah, ooh ♪

♪ But my own father ♪

♪ Said give her up, don't bother ♪

♪ The world isn't comin' to an end ♪

♪ He said ♪

♪ Walk like a man ♪

♪ Talk like a man ♪

♪ Walk like a man, my son ♪

♪ No woman's worth crawlin' on the earth ♪

♪ So walk like a man, my son ♪

♪ Oh wee ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ♪

♪ Ooh-wee-Ooh ♪ ♪ Walk, walk, walk, walk ♪

♪ Ooh-wee-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Bye, baby, I don't-a mean maybe ♪

♪ Gonna get along somehow ♪

♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah, ooh-ah, ooh ♪

♪ Soon you'll be cryin' on account of all your lyin' ♪

♪ Oh yeah, just look who's laughin' now ♪

♪ I'm gonna ♪

♪ Walk like a man, fast as I can ♪

♪ Walk like a man from you ♪

♪ I'll tell the world, forget about it, girl ♪

♪ And walk like a man from you ♪

♪ Ooh-wee-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-wee-ooh ♪

♪ Walk, walk, walk, walk ♪

♪ Ooh-wee-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Walk, walk, walk, walk ♪

♪ Ooh-wee-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

- "Walk Like a Man" was sung by the Four Seasons.

- I think I'll turn on my television set, It'll be-

(foreboding dramatic music)

- Lousy cops, always crowding a guy.

- You know, you're a funny guy, Nick.

You're bundle of nerves.

You never relax,

never ease the tension.

You act like a skittery cold.

Why?

- You really wanna know, baby?

- Yeah.

- Well, I've been drifting since I was 15.

My first memories of an orphan asylum, crowded with kids.

I ran away,

never knew my folks,

but I managed to get by,

pick cotton, hung around hobos.

Nobody ever gave me anything.

I'd lighten on in for a while.

And then, I'd breeze again

and I learned that a rattlesnake is right.

You gotta be first.

Everybody's always crowding.

You're trying to push it with the pack

and you gotta crowd back and break through.

The guy that breaks away from the pack

is the winner every time, baby.

- What are you trying to prove?

- I already proved it,

saved my dough and fixed up that car of mine.

When I get behind that wheel, I'm the boss.

All those horses under the hood running for yours truly.

That's like music, baby.

Exciting music, better than rock and roll.

You're going fast, see?

Faster than the wind

and you're the guy at the reigns.

If somebody crowds you,

you push 'em back

like a guy swats flies.

- I don't understand you, Nick.

- Don't let it worry you.

You'll get gray.

- Are you gonna be around here next Tuesday?

- Hey Laura, I thought we had a date last night.

How come you stood me up?

- There are plenty of other nights just for you, Tommy.

- Well, I'll stand in line.

- You're outta your class, throttle jockey.

She's my girl.

- Take it easy, Sonny.

Easy does it.

Laura and I are old friends.

- You may be old,

but you're no friend.

- Don't push your luck, Junior.

- There's no luck involved.

(dramatic ominous music)

- Sorry Laura, he asked for it.

- He got it too.

- Yeah.

- When he leaves town,

give me a ring.

- I am sorry, Nick,

you really were out of line.

- Leave me alone.

You're all alike,

always pushing and crowding me.

Everybody's always crowding me.

- You'll never get away with it, Nick.

- Don't crowd me, Joe.

- You try to signal that car?

- No, no, please Nick, don't kill me.

- I told you not to crowd me, Joe.

Everybody crowds me.

- In watching this story,

I want you to pay particular attention

to the three undraped ladies

who danced in the final scene

because one of these young ladies

has since married a titled Englishman

and her face is now quite well known.

(explosion booming)

- [Narrator] Since the splitting of the atom

only a few decades ago

and through his God-given genius of science,

man, at last, has succeeded

in penetrating further and further

into the unknown vastness of space.

(dog howling)

(dramatic suspenseful music)

(ominous foreboding music)

(eerie ominous music)

(dog barking)

(suspenseful foreboding music)

- Surface readings register above minimum requirements.

Morrow, go below and bring up the young gargon specimen.

Now the decision depends on its reactions.

- Wait, Captain, I have found evidence

of intelligent beings on this planet.

- Of what concern our foreign beings?

- Of none to you, Thor!

Just as you were so unconcerned

when you destroyed the small creature, so bravely.

- It was no more than an insect.

- But it had life

and that life you had to take

to satisfy your endless hunger for killing.

- Silence!

- It thrives, Captain,

already I can feel it has grown heavier.

- We shall return to our base

and lead the transport ships here.

Soon this planet will be covered with full grown gargons.

- Captain, Captain, something has gone wrong.

- Look here. - What?

What has happened?

- I do not know.

It suddenly fell limp.

- The atmosphere here tested above minimum,

but the gargon species cannot live

due to excessive nitrogen and gas compounds

emitted in our preliminary diagnosis.

- Then, this planet will be reported as unsuitable.

- Repack the instruments and prepare for takeoff.

We will continue our search in another solar of system.

(triumphant music)

- About that scene I mentioned,

we ran over time

and had to cut it at the last moment.

I'm sure you don't mind.

It had nothing to do with the story,

but it was a lot of fun making it.

(triumphant dramatic music)

(light bright music)

- [Narrator] There are 8 million stories in The Naked City.

This has been one of them.

- [Narrator] A fiery horse with the speed of light,

a cloud of dust, and a hearty "Hi-Yo Silver!"

The Lone Ranger!

(triumphant bright music)

- [Narrator] With his faithful Indian companion Tonto,

the daring and resourceful masked rider of the plains

led the fight for law and order in the early west.

Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear.

The Lone Ranger rides again!

(gentle light music)

- Tonto, we'll make camp here tonight.

- Good place to rest for Silver and Scout.

Plenty water, good grass nearby.

- We've traveled hard, big fella,

you'll need a few hours rest.

- We ride to Fort Apache to see Major Harvey tomorrow.

- Yes, Tonto.

If what I've heard is true

about the Indians on Black Eagles reservation

and being able to buy new repeating rifles,

the major may be in for some trouble.

- Ah, one successful attack on town of Fort,

enough encouragement to start whole Indian war.

- That's right, repeating rifles in the hands

of the followers of a chief like Geronimo or crazy horse,

and every settlement in Fort in the entire southwest

would be under constant menace of Indian attack.

- Me not understand why men want to sell guns

when they know what harm they can do.

- Because of green, Tonto.

There are men who place material gain above everything else.

They'll even sacrifice their own personal safety

to satisfy their desire for gold.

(dramatic music)

(guns firing)

- Yah!

- Get down as close as you can.

- Indians, Lieutenant?

- Hold on, I think they're masked!

- Sound like shots come from over ridge.

- That many could only mean one thing, Tonto-trouble!

(guns firing) (dramatic music)

- Lieutenant!

(guns firing) (dramatic music)

- [Narrator] In a moment, we'll return

to The Lone Ranger and Tonto.

- Down through the ages,

music has been an ever-changing theory,

reflecting the emotions of human hearts.

Its blaring brasses and muted strings

speak a language understood around the world.

Many strange tales are told of composers and their works,

but perhaps the strangest of them all

is the tragic story of Hart Danks

who, as a tribute to his beautiful young wife,

gave to the world one of its most cherished love songs.

♪ I was born in Texas ♪

♪ Raised in Tennessee ♪

♪ And when I left Texas ♪

♪ Moved to Tennessee ♪

♪ Oh look, gals, it's Texas ♪

♪ She'd better wait for me ♪

♪ I was born in Texas ♪

♪ Raised in Tennessee ♪

♪ But since I left Texas ♪

♪ And lived in Tennessee ♪

♪ Now that gal in Texas, she don't look so good to me ♪

♪ Found a nice hot mama here in Tennessee ♪

♪ I'm in love with her ♪

♪ And she's in love with me ♪

♪ To go back to Texas ♪

♪ What a fool I be. ♪

- I know it'll be a great success.

You must take it to your publishers

- Then you really like it?

- More than I can say.

It expresses my love for you.

- And it's my promise to love you forever and ever.

No matter what happens.

- What a wonderful thought.

To never grow old in our love.

To always be young and fair to each other.

Oh, my darling.

- Sweetheart.

- [Publishing Company] - Sign here, Mr. Danks.

I hope your song will be a success.

- [Narrator] Success, hundreds of thousands of copies

were sold the world over.

Its sentimental melody touch the heartstrings

of young and old alike.

- [Hattie] You are not going out again tonight, are you?

- Yes, and perhaps I won't be home till late.

- Darling, do you realize

that you haven't spent an evening at home in weeks?

- I'm sorry, but it can't be helped.

My friends insist.

You don't seem to care for that sort of thing.

So, I'm [indistinct]

- Your success has changed you.

We're drifting apart.

Darling, what happened to us?

- I'm in a hurry, dear.

We'll discuss it later.

- But, Hart!

(gentle light music)

- [Narrator] Danks earnestly tried

to affect a reconciliation

with his estranged wife,

but her heart had been embittered by his neglect.

Though he continued to beg forgiveness

through the years that followed,

his pleas were in vain.

For her, it was better to live with her memories

than to try to make them real again.

(gentle light piano music)

As his fortune melted away from his reckless extravagance,

he tries to compose another success,

but his inspiration is gone.

The long years rolled by

and "Silver Threads Among the Gold"

became an American classic.

Homeless, friendless, and alone,

Hattie Danks spent her declining years

eking out a bare living as a scrub woman,

separated by an eternity

from the romance of her early youth.

(gentle light dramatic music)

On a side street in Philadelphia,

in a cheap rooming house,

the composer, now a broken old man,

was forgotten by the fame that had touched him

for a few brief years.

For Hart Danks, life at last was fading fast away.

And as it faded, he was leaving

a last bitter message to the world,

"It is hard to die alone."

And so the song that stands as a symbol

of undying love and devotion

shattered the lives of the two whose love had inspired it.

Strange, incredible, but true. ♪ Always young ♪

♪ And fair to me ♪

(triumphant music) (rooster cooing)

(dramatic foreboding music) (sirens wailing)

- [Broadcaster] The Applejack alert,

enemy bombers, in theory,

are approaching the world's greatest city.

While the sirens wail their grim warning,

hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers

scurry for shelter against the attack.

Auto traffic is halted.

Riders and drivers taking cover in a realistic drill

for a day all Americans pray will never come.

A pall of restless silence cloaks the streets

and skyscrapers of New York.

One of the main targets of the mythical era,

armada of 400 planes.

8 million people vanished from view,

a lonely vigil over a city paralyzed by atomic attack.

Washington, too, takes part

in the most realistic nationwide civil defense exercise

since the atomic age was born at Hiroshima nine years ago.

President Eisenhower leads his staff

to a bombproof underground shelter.

Beneath the capitol domes [indistinct] clear,

stopped, frozen fast until the all clear

that we'll breathe life into the nation's capitol.

The General Mohamed Naguib inspects officers and men

of his country's rapidly expanding cavalry.

The new strong man of the Nile,

who led the July coup of army officers

that forced ex-King Farouk into exile,

is building Egypt's military strength

while carrying out land reforms.

The eyes of the free world are on the well-drilled

and well-equipped forces of General Naguib.

Egypt could become a powerful link in the chain

of Middle Eastern defense outposts,

being forged to protect the Suez Canal from Soviet Russia.

- [Dan] Pulchritude pursuing

the Miss Press Photographer prize,

posed, primp, and preen

on the Steel Pier at Atlantic City.

Laying down on the job,

our photographer comes up with all sorts of camera angles.

Competing for the crown are pretties

picked by press photogs throughout the country.

A labor of love,

this job of filming the loveliest lady in the lens.

And spectators like it too.

The winner's Leoma Naughton,

19, blonde, blue-eyed, shapely,

a Maryland University sophomore.

Representing the camera clickers from Washington DC,

she's a queen in capital figures.

- [Andre] In Los Angeles,

blonde Keith and brunette Anne

arrive at Griffith Park Observatory

wearing Don Loper's latest creations.

It's their first trip west

and they've never seen Los Angeles before.

It's quite a sight.

Note Anne's molded skirt with tapper depleted inserts.

At the Warner Brothers Studios,

Anne and Keith find themselves

outside Gordon MacRae's dressing room.

Gordon's outfit for a desert song

is just the thing for the Sahara.

Anne and Keith's molded suits

with fitted jackets and sheets skirts

are just the thing for fall.

That evening at the hotel ambassador's Coconut Grove,

Keith and Anne are set for a big night.

Their escorts wear traditional black and white,

and the girls are in Los Angeles Designer

Don Loper's evening dresses.

Keith wears a silver embroidered lace evening gown

with halter bodice.

And Anne, an embroidered netball gown

with velvet flowers at the waistline

for their night out in Los Angeles.

- [Dwight] 5 million voters go to the polls

in South Vietnam's first free national election

to choose between Premier Ngo Dinh Diem

and Absentee Emperor Bao Dai.

For a people racked by the agonies of war,

poverty, colonialism, and communism,

it is a time for decision

and an overwhelming endorsement of Diem,

who receives more than 98% of the votes.

In France far from his torn country,

the repudiated, fun-loving Bao Dai bows out.

And at 54, Ngo Dinh Diem becomes Vietnam's first president,

a resounding victory for the free world.

- Hi, I'm Ann-Margret.

Earlier this year, I was privileged

to visit our fighting men in Vietnam

and it was an experience that I will never, ever forget.

I'm just very proud to be in the same generation.

Everywhere I went, I found the morale high

and the resolve firm.

So many of you have fought earlier tyrannies before my time

and know what it is like to be far from home

fighting for those near and dear to you.

Our men in Vietnam need your support now.

And the best way you can help

is to follow President Johnson's call

to buy United States savings bonds.

In doing so, you are investing in your country

and in your own future.

Thousands of our soldiers abroad

buy savings bonds every week.

Won't you do the same?

Buy savings bonds now

to help bring them back home soon.

(triumphant music)

- [Narrator] After college, it could have taken years

before Paul had any real responsibilities.

The Army gave him the chance now.

They sent him to Officer Candidate School.

He commands 19 men and 250 tons of power.

See your army recruiting sergeant for an exciting job

in today's action Army.

- Darling, they're doing all this for you.

Does it make you happy?

What? Why dear, you're crying?

- Butler, please drive us home.

- [Presenter] Nabisco, your Nabisco cereal.

Nabisco Shredded Wheat

New Nabisco Shredded Wheat Juniors.

New Nabisco Wheat Honeys,

and new Nabisco Rice Honeys presents...

- [Officer] All right.

(triumphant dramatic music)

- [Narrator] We take you now to Washington DC

- The lights out, rolling.

Gentlemen, this missile is the US Army Juno II

that launched the Pioneer 4 space probe

on March 3, 1959.

Pioneer 4 is now hundreds of thousands

of miles in outer space

and is in orbit around the sun.

- [Presenter] Now you can learn a lot of facts

about America's great defense instruments

from the all new 1959 series of Defenders of America cards.

There's one card free

inside each package of Nabisco Shredded Wheat

with a rocket powered missile with the X-15 on the front.

Learn about the United States' new submarines,

rockets, planes at the same time you enjoy

Nabisco Shredded Wheat! Golden biscuits

of 100% whole wheat toasted just right

and charged with the growing power you need.

Start collecting the complete set

of the all new 1959 Defenders of America cards today.

There's one card free inside each package

of Nabisco Shredded Wheat with the X-15 on the front.

- Of all the honors you men have received,

I know of none higher

than the one you have asked me to present now.

- I think you know what to do with this decor.

- Yes sir.

Private Rin Tin Tin,

being singled out by the 101st cavalry

for courage and devotion,

above and beyond the call of duty,

I hereby sign this decoration in their name.

(triumphant music)

- [Presenter] Nabisco, the new Nabisco family of cereals

have brought you "The Adventures of Rin Tin Tin."

- And you're sure you didn't see anyone leave the station?

- That's the truth, Lieutenant.

I told John he was driving too fast.

Then, we went off into a ditch with a blowout.

We walked back to the station for help.

And then, we found that poor old man.

- And he was dead?

- No, he was still alive,

but he was in great pain.

I tried my best to help him while John was calling you.

Isn't that right, John?

- [John] Yes, dear.

- Did he say anything when you were trying to help him?

Anything that would give us a clue as to who shot him?

- Not that I can remember.

- Oh yes, he did.

In his delirium, he repeated several times.

"Don't crowd me, Joe."

Over and over, he kept saying it.

- I'm afraid it isn't much to work on,

but I certainly thank you for your help,

Mrs. Smith and Mr. Smith.

I guess that'll be all right now.

- Come along, John. - Yes, dear.

- Goodbye now.

- Mommy, Mommy, look!

This cereal spells my name!

- [Presenter] It's an alphabet cereal.

Yes, it's Post Alpha-Bits,

the new sugar-sparkled, ready-to-eat oat cereal.

♪ A, B, C, D, E, F ♪

- G!

♪ Alpha-Bits for you and me ♪

♪ Shape is new ♪

♪ And new taste too ♪

♪ So nutritious, good for you ♪

- Good for you!

♪ Try Alpha-Bits and you will see ♪

♪ They're ABC Dee-licious ♪

- [Presenter] Post Alpha-Bits are such fun to eat

and so good for you too.

They're made of oats,

one of the best sources of high-quality cereal protein.

And Post Alpha-Bits are sugar-sparkled.

They help provide both quick and lasting energy

that children need.

- Come on, everybody!

There's so much fun!

- Get new Post Alpha-Bits!

♪ Try Alpha-Bits and you will see ♪

♪ They're ABC Dee-licious ♪

(light playful bright music)

- Holy mackerel!

- I'll take the camera, ma'am.

No pictures allowed.

- Look, you have no right to do that.

- Sorry, ma'am, I'll leave your camera at the roadblock.

- Well, I guess I'll go out the creek

and jump in with all my clothes on.

- Hey, where are you going?

- To the jukebox

to drown myself in music.

What would you like to hear?

- It's all right, honey, tell him.

- "Greensleeves," please, if it's there.

("Greensleeves")

- Tears for somebody.

- Guess she didn't hate old men.

- No, just one, one's enough.

("Greensleeves")

(jazz upbeat music)

- Hi, Mr. Archer.

I was just saying, "Au revoir, thanks!"

- I thought you'd be waiting for me at your hotel.

You know, I don't like you hanging around here alone.

- You're not jealous of that clown, are you?

Too early to go to bed.

Anyways, I'm sick of that flea bag you call a hotel

and I'm tired of waiting.

All I do is wait, wait, wait!

- Maybe you won't have to wait as long as you think.

She's cracking up again.

She's seen satellites and giants.

Not only told me about it,

but she spread it all over town tonight.

Even had the sheriff out looking for this.

- Charlie was telling me about it.

- This could be it.

When Dr. Cushing hears about it,

he'll probably have her committed right away.

He's in Baker.

I'll call him tonight.

- Well, that sounds more like it.

I don't think I could take much more of this set up.

- Well, anytime you get to thinking that way, remember this.

- A Star of India?

- The most famous diamond in the world.

And you play your cards right

and it'll all be yours.

Ah, ah, someday.

- Let's call Dr. Cushing.

- [Presenter] How to make a sk'bana nut sandwich.

First, to make this old favorite

now being revived in many fashionable circles,

we place two slices of fresh bread close to each other

so that we can work comfortably.

Next, one jar of Skippy peanut butter chunky style,

the kind that has crunchy little morsels of chopped,

fresh roasted peanuts sprinkled all the way through it, mmm.

And now we're spreading the Skippy

from edge to edge and corner to corner.

Then to complete the treat,

we take one golden banana.

Slice and place,

and now we put it all together.

There we are.

And chunky style or creamy style,

no other peanut butter tastes or spreads

or stays fresh like Skippy

because no other is made like Skippy.

Skippy peanut butter chunky style

for a creamy as well as crunchy sk'bana nut sandwich.

Delicious.

- Hey kids, it's the "Buster Brown Show!"

- Hey, ya kids!

It's "Andy's Gang!"

♪ I got shoe ♪

♪ You got shoe ♪

♪ Everybody's got shoe ♪

♪ But there's only one kind of shoe for me ♪

♪ Good old Buster Brown shoe ♪

- Have we got a humdinger of a story today.

Oh, my! We know this is a good story.

(triumphant music)

- [Narrator] Faster than a speeding bullet...

More powerful than a locomotive...

Able to leap tall buildings at a single bound...

- Look, up in the sky!

- It's a bird!

- It's a plane!

- It's Superman!

- [Narrator] Yes, it's Superman!

Strange visitor from another planet

who came to earth with powers and abilities

far beyond those of mortal men.

Superman, who can change the course of mighty rivers,

bend steel, and disguised as Clark Kent,

mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper,

fights a never ending battle for truth, justice,

and the American way.

(alarms blaring)

- Someone else is shopping. - And from the inside too.

- There's an all-night drugstore around the corner.

I'll call the police.

(dramatic music)

- My partner went out the door

as soon as the alarm went off.

You don't have to worry about me though.

I'm not gonna run away.

- You mean you deliberately stay

when you could have gotten away?

- Well, I've never done anything like this before, Superman.

It was all like a dream

until that alarm went off and woke me up.

And I realized that I can run from the police,

but I can't run from myself.

- It's easy to see that you're new at this sort of thing.

Why did you do it?

- Why? That's why I keep asking myself.

Sure, it was the money

but more deeper than that.

I should have learned how to save

and handled money a long time ago.

Then, this wouldn't have happened.

- Well, I'm sorry it did.

But at least you've learned something very important.

- Pretty bad way to learn it, don't you think?

Oh, here they come, Superman.

Gee, I feel a little better for having someone to talk to.

- Thanks. - It's all right, son.

Now you can do me a favor.

Don't tell them I was here.

- Sure.

(slow dramatic music)

- Girls, I want to tell you

about the most wonderful hair hairdryer you've ever used.

It's the beautiful Universal Hat Fox hairdryer.

The Lennon sisters know the extra large hood

circulates air evenly, dries hair fast.

♪ This is the way we dry our hair ♪

♪ Dry our hair, dry our hair ♪

♪ This is the way we dry our hair ♪

♪ With the universal dryer ♪

(bright foreboding music)

- [Presenter] When you step up to ask a girl for a dance,

do you have confidence in yourself?

See yourself as others see you

and you'll know that one thing

that gives any man confidence

is a neat personal appearance.

A neat appearance just naturally begins with the hair.

That's why you should use Wildroot Cream-Oil hair tonic.

The one hair tonic that contains

both lanolin and cholesterol.

Wildroot Cream-Oil gives you confidence

because it gives you healthy looking hair,

the way nature intended:

neat but not greasy

for that successful look that's so important.

Whether you're on a date or on the job,

every day use Wildroot Cream-Oil,

the one and only largest selling hair tonic.

Wildroot Cream-Oil gives you confidence.

♪ Robin of Loxley, a knight bold and good ♪

- To join your band?

- To join us?

- [Outlaw] Give him a chance, Will.

- What's your name?

- Robin of...

Nothing.

Robin.

- Robin of the hood.

(dramatic music)

- [Presenter] Robin Hood was brought to you by...

Wildroot Cream-Oil,

the one and only largest selling hair tonic.

(dramatic ominous music)

- Get to your little pipe organ, Midnight.

You'd better get set too, Squeaky.

(Squeaky squeaks)

Kids, today Midnight and Squeaky

are gonna play a tune we all know.

Go ahead, Midnight.

♪ Jesus love me ♪

♪ This I know ♪

♪ For the Bible tell me so ♪

♪ Little ones to him belong ♪

♪ They are we then he is gone ♪

♪ Yes, Jesus loves me ♪

♪ Yes, Jesus loves me ♪

♪ Yes, Jesus love me ♪

♪ The Bible tells me so ♪

(audience applauding)

We all like that song.

And now, Froggy,

if you wanna know about good things to eat,

you'd better become visible.

Plunk your magic twanger, Froggy!

- Hi-ya, kids!

Hi-ya, hi-ya.

- [Kids] Hi, Froggy!

- Get set for some fun. - (Froggy laughs)

Because here comes that international Chef Monsieur Bonbon.

- Merci, merci beaucoup.

It is so nice to see you today.

But first, I must introduce myself.

I am Monsieur Bonbon Maitre D

As you know, maitre D means the head waiter.

- What are you waiting for?

- I am not waiting.

I said I am the head waiter

of the world famous Continental Hotel.

I want you to know that I have served royalty.

- Very badly. - Most so badly.

It is a wonder how I did not lose my job.

Now, when they come into the main dining room,

everybody, everybody stand up right beside their table

and the band plays,

God save the king.

It was I, Monsieur Bonbon,

who led them to their own royal table.

First, I seated the queen.

I quickly, I pulled the chair.

- [indistinct]

- And she fall, boom!

Right on her...!

What are you saying?

You crazy bully!

Oh, do you think it's so funny

to play a joke on the queen?

Why such a person would be...

- A hero.

- Oui, oui, of course.

That is the reason why I did it.

Oh, you are so impossible!

You are horrible.

- [Presenter] I'm a tub.

I work in the bathroom.

My name is Saturday

'cause that's when I do most of my business.

6:45, case in point:

Susie, teenager, late for date,

can't get in bathroom.

No time for bath.

Knows there are excuses for skipping bath.

But no excuse for B.O.

He isn't worried.

In a moment, you'll see why.

- [Presenter] Here's why: Lifebuoy.

But when they took out the medicinal loader in Lifebuoy,

they put in a remarkable

deodorizing discovery called Puralin

that protects you from bath to bath,

from B.O. for as long as three full days.

And that's longer than most of us need

for Puralin stays with your skin.

You can't see, feel, or smell it,

but it's there protecting you.

- [Presenter] 10:30 PM: Lifebuoy still protecting her,

far longer than even highest priced deodorant soaps.

Case closed: These are the facts, ma'am.

There may be excuses for skipping a bath,

but no excuse for B.O.

- Look!

(suspenseful dramatic music)

- Eric is dead.

Do you hear me?

It's just you and me.

And we are going to die too.

- No, no, Paul!

Keep away from me.

I tried to help you, Paul!

(ominous dramatic music)

(suspenseful dramatic music)

(guns firing)

- Must be another hold up somewhere, I guess.

(guns firing)

- Phantoms again, huh?

- Yeah, and they took every cent in the place.

- And Hickok's away as usual.

- Well, where he is, he's doing his duty, Mr. Bruce.

- Well, his duty belongs right here in Abilene,

protecting our citizens!

As he's paid to do by the government.

- Does anybody know where Bill went?

- I saw him riding out of town sometime back

and he seemed to be in a mighty big hurry.

- Wherever Mr. Hickok is, Snake Eyes, I can find him.

- All right, what do you mean?

- I can track him down with this here dog.

- E-OKAY! - E-OKAY!

- Why don't you practice on a chicken?

I'm sure Lassie doesn't understand all this.

- Well, hi, Ms. Miller.

- Hello, Parky, how's your mother?

- Well, she's still coughing, but she's better.

- Oh, that's good.

Now sweetheart, don't torment this poor dog, so.

- What's the matter?

You do something wrong?

- If you're a kid, you're always doing something wrong.

Golly, they never want you to learn anything.

How do they ever expect you to grow up?

- Steve, let me talk to this little girl.

Would you stand up, honey?

You look like you're kind of dressed up too.

What sort of a dress is that?

- A party dress.

- A party dress?

Oh, I thought it might have been a hoop skirt.

(audience laughing)

What is your name?

- Gaylen Baker.

- Gay Baker, where'd you get that name, Gay?

- From my daddy and mommy.

- Well, which part did you get from your daddy?

- Gay.

- G-A-Y, that's your daddy's name?

And then, where would you get the other?

- No, my daddy's name is Jim.

- Oh, then where'd you get the name Gay, huh?

- From my daddy!

(playful music)

- [Presenter] It's the organ specialized induction

of producing new plants.

The most beautiful moment in the life of plant

is the opening of the flower.

Most flowers have an alluring fragrance.

But flowers also have a most practical purpose.

The flower produces seeds

and seeds, in turn, produce new plants.

- Whose idea was this?

- [Presenter] The flower starts as a bud,

which develops into the mature flower.

Here is a typical complete flower.

The male parts of the flower are called-

(sirens wailing)

(triumphant dramatic music)

(guns firing)

(woman shouting)

(dramatic triumphant music)

(eerie dramatic music)

- I love this program.

I never miss it.

- Somebody help!

- Hinsley? Louis?

- Professor Mullen, come along please.

- Now, Hinsley, listen now, make sense.

What's happened?

- Professor Creel, he's dead! - His head!

- What do you mean he's dead?

- How did he die?

Come on, speak up.

What made him die?

- The bust of Plato.

- Sure scored a perfect hit.

- Yeah, awful.

- What's the use of Professor Mullen phoning

the doctor, Lieutenant?

- He's calling the medical examiner's office for me.

Why didn't you call the police when this happened?

Did Plato always stand up, up there?

- Yeah, sure, wrap around those other two.

- Plato stood right behind the desk.

- Junith, oh, Junith.

Oh, my poor darling.

- Please, Mrs. Creel.

- When Professor Mullen told me in the hallway.

- I'm sorry, Mrs. Creel.

- What?

- Oh, oh, it's you.

Lieutenant, what are you...?

- It's not important.

- I warned Junith about those busts,

but he wouldn't listen to me, he wouldn't.

I should have insisted.

I don't suppose there's anything any of us can do now.

- I'm afraid not.

Not until the medical examiner arrives.

- [Presenter] Little Hostess Buffet...

♪ When her friends come to call ♪

♪ She serves them Mommy's way ♪

♪ From her little hostess buffet ♪

♪ Make-believe silver ♪

♪ Cups and saucers too ♪

- [Presenter] Yes, it's every little girl's dream!

You even get dinner plates,

salt and pepper shakers, sherbet glasses,

candlesticks and more!

♪ With the Little Hostess Buffet ♪

- [Presenter] By Marx.

- I don't know what we're supposed

to be waiting for, Lieutenant Kirby.

- You must be patient with me, Mrs. Creel.

- Mrs. Creel's been through enough.

I don't think it's fair for you to impose on her now.

- Maybe, but I think it's necessary.

- Well, look, you think you can push people around you?

- Why don't you go and sit down?

- Johnson, I think we all ought to cooperate

with the Lieutenant.

- Yes, Dr. Latham, I'm sorry.

- Hinsley, is the chair in the same position

that Professor Creel sat when the bust fell?

- Yes, Lieutenant.

- Good, but if you just sit and watch,

eventually you'll see just what happened here

a couple of mornings ago,

how Professor Creel met his death.

- Water!

- Where it'd come from?

- Up there.

- What does that mean?

- Means that we're almost near the solution of the murder.

Here it comes.

(bust thuds)

- Right where the professor sat.

- Dear Lord.

- That's how the professor met his death.

Someone placed Plato on the edge of the shelf and froze him.

- Froze him?

- With ethyl chloride.

The bust was placed where it had to fall off.

It was unbalanced.

The murderer took a cylinder of ethyl chloride

and sprayed 'em down.

The ice held Plato until the sun began to shine in.

The sun's heat mellowed the ice and the bust fell off.

The murderer knew, of course, that barring accident,

that Creel would be working at his desk.

- How did you get the idea?

- There was a wet spot in the dust

and the professor just had a minor operation.

- And the doctor froze the part with ethyl chloride.

- Of course.

- That's only supposition.

- Maybe it is,

if it weren't for this.

- [Mrs. Creel] The ethyl chloride container?

- Yes, the one the murderer used.

It has his fingerprints all over it.

Did I leave anything out of my story, Professor Mullen?

- W-what?

- You heard me.

- Yes, I, I did it.

- But how could you?

- I had to.

(dramatic music)

(triumphant bright music)

(driver humming)

- Say, will you stop dreaming of Jeanie

and concentrate on not killing us?

- Relax, will you?

You are just as safe with me

as though you were sitting in your own parlor.

- Hey, watch where you are going!

- Will you stop worrying?

You are making me nervous.

Keep it so.

(driver humming)

- That's the wildest route I ever had in my life.

- I got you here, didn't I?

I've been driving for 20 years.

Never had an accident.

- Okay, okay, how much do I owe you?

- 60 cents.

- Here, and why don't you get yourself a pair of glasses?

- And why don't you get yourself a pair?

(slow dramatic music)

- But I can't believe I've been chosen Queen. I'm afraid!

- There's nothing to be afraid of, my child.

As long as you obey the wishes of the king,

you have nothing to fear.

You are the envy of every maiden in the land.

But Esther, remember you are not to make it known to anyone

that you are a Jew.

(triumphant dramatic music)

(playful music)

(tiger growling)

(mouse yodels)

(tiger growling)

(animals laughing)

- Wasn't that good?

And now for some more cartoon fun.

- [Advisor] Insert to the vagina in this fashion.

But a tampon will be uncomfortable and irritating

if the vagina is small or the menstrual flow heavy.

In these cases,

the external pad is far more satisfactory.

- I'm sure you think that's funny.

- [Narrator] In the enormity of the West,

there are still vast and virtually unexplored regions,

bleak and desolate,

where no human ever goes

and no life is ever seen.

It is as though the land had been posted by God.

It is in these lonely areas

of impenetrable forest and dark shadows

that the Gila monster still lives.

How large the dreaded Gila monster grows,

no man can say.

(rapid upbeat jazz music)

(objects clattering)

(Gila monster squealing)

- Sheriff.

- What's the trouble, Mr. Wheeler?

Pat didn't come home last night.

- He didn't?

- No, evidently he was out with Liz Humphreys.

She didn't come home either.

- Oh?

- I want you to find out why

and don't leave a stone unturned in doing so.

Do I make myself clear?

- I understand, Mr. Wheeler.

There weren't any wrecks reported last night.

Your son Pat, he's about 19, isn't he?

- That's right.

Just a year older than I was when I got married.

- You think they eloped?

He wouldn't dare.

- I didn't say that.

But if they were out together all night,

you better hope they have.

- This is a missing person's report

and I wanna know what you're gonna do about it.

- Well, I'll send in an APB on both of them and the car.

I don't think it'll do much good.

If they went off to get married,

they'd already be across the state line.

- Well, if he got married, I'll ring his neck.

Now you locate him or I'll have your job.

- If you want to be the only peace officer

in 10,000 square miles and 1,000 a road,

you are welcome to it.

(engine revving)

- Good evening, friends.

It's E. Eddie Edwards speaking on behalf

of the fabulous Judeo-Christian Good Guy Kit.

And I need no introduction to church going people, no.

I've been written up four separate times

in ecclesiastical magazines and they say,

now hear me please,

that there can be no real goodness without self-denial,

self-sacrifice, and pain.

And as you remember,

we brought you the fabulous Judeo-Christian Golden rule.

And millions of you have that

in the privacy of your own homes.

And what you do there, friends,

that's nobody's business but your own.

And today, we have a fabulous,

three-piece merchandise offering

I think you're gonna be very pleased with.

You've got pain, self-denial, and self-sacrifice

right here laid out for you.

Here's what you get.

Item number one, a fabulous set of flesh pinches.

You see they're awfully designed

to pinch any part of your body.

You can use them alone.

Use it with a friend, a relative, a neighbor.

Wait a minute, use that with hubby.

He'll thank you for it

the longest day you live.

For a special treat,

just heat up the edges,

make 'em nice and hot.

By golly, there's one you like.

Item number two, a fabulous, fabulous whip.

The same type of whip found all through the Holy Bible.

And friends have been mentioned 17 separate times,

and they say there's nothing

like a good flogging or broaching.

Friends, you'll get used to that item.

And here's the big one.

Yes, it's stocks and bondage, friends.

You can have it in a harder softwood,

darker light wood, mahogany maple, lime oak,

hog wood cherry, orange, lemon, or lime.

And for those who write today,

here's what you're going to get absolutely free.

We'll call this one free gift number one.

Isn't that wonderful?

Say yes, it makes me feel good.

You see, that's a petition pad friend,

365 pages thick.

One petition for a worthwhile cause

every single day of the year.

And for those people who write the first hundred,

I'm going to send you,

absolutely free of any charge, a special gift:

the wonderful Judeo-Christian Brotherhood poster.

And friends, brotherhood is a great Christian ethic.

Now friends, this is almost as good as having a darkie

for a friend or a companion,

except this poster will never riot, break, or burn.

And by golly, he'll never marry your sister, no.

Now friends, ordinarily, you'd expect to spend

$19.95 for this fabulous three-piece set.

That's worth every penny of it,

now hear me please.

We're going to take that $19.95 price today.

We're going to leave it aside.

We're going to throw it out the window.

We're going to charge you a special price, not of $19.95,

but of $39.95

because it's better to give more than you receive.

And now, friends, while we're going to flash

those telephone numbers on the screen

where you can place your orders,

but before we do that, I'd like you to watch

and see what's going to happen to you when you buy

the fabulous Judeo-Christian Good Guy kit, watch.

("Messiah")

♪ Hallelujah! Hallelujah! ♪

♪ Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! ♪

♪ Hallelujah! Hallelujah! ♪

♪ Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! ♪

♪ For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth ♪

♪ Hallelujah! Hallelujah! ♪

♪ Amen! Amen! ♪

(slow light dramatic music)

- [Narrator] More than 1900 years ago,

on the hill called Golgotha,

there stood three crosses,

symbols of the terrible tragedy

which had taken place on that spring day.

The Son of Man still hung limply

from the nails that pierced his hands and feet.

The Savior of the world was dead.

And in Jerusalem,

in the Hall of Judgment

where Jesus' crucifixion had been decided,

Joseph of Arimathea, one of Jesus' secret followers,

had overcome his fears

and had come to Pilate to ask for the body of the master,

that he might give it honorable burial.

- I see no reason for not granting a request, Joseph.

But the law requires that I must know Jesus is dead.

Have the officer in charge of the crucifixion sent to me.

- But I was there, Excellency.

I saw Jesus die.

- I do not doubt your honesty, Joseph,

but I must know from the officer himself.

You are in charge of the crucifixion?

- I was, your Excellency.

- Did you complete your task?

- I did.

- Then, He is dead?

- Yes.

- Jesus of Nazareth, you are sure of Him?

- I will always be sure of Him, sir.

- What do you mean by that?

He is dead, is He not?

- He is, sir.

But truly, He was the Son of God.

- Your request is granted.

You may take the body of Jesus.

- [Narrator] After taking down the body of Jesus

from the cross, Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus,

another of the Master's followers,

brought it into a new tomb

in a garden not far from the sight of the crucifixion.

There they tenderly wrapped the body of their Master

in linen and spices,

as was the custom of the time.

As the hour for the beginning of the Sabbath drew near...

- Zamba, Zamba! He'll kill you.

He doesn't like anybody but me.

He kills everybody else.

Come on, Mommy, hurry, hurry!

- Tara, come down here quickly.

- Go, Mommy, he won't hurt me.

(mom shouting) (Lamba growling)

- Go away! - (Lamba growling)

(mom shouting) (Lamba growling)

(Lamba growling)

- No, go away!

No! No! No!

(Tarzan yelling) (animals squealing)

- I am Tarzan and I have come to remind you

the most important thing in your life is good health.

Strong, healthy bodies mean a happier

and more adventure filled life.

As you know, I could not live in the jungle

unless I followed the rules of good health,

as you should,

for life in the jungle leads to great adventures.

What kind of adventures does Tarzan

have in the wild African jungles?

See for yourself.

(guns firing)

- [Narrator] You know them as the Green Berets.

♪ Fighting soldiers from the sky ♪

♪ Fearless men ♪

- [Narrator] The whole world knows the fame

of the Green Berets.

Now you'll know the kind of men who made the fame.

(suspenseful dramatic music)

Colonel Mike Kirby...

Each has a story told in the Green Berets.

(slow light music)

- Attention, attention.

This is Fu Manchu.

Stand by for an important message.

- Sock it to me?

- You are very quiet, professor.

- Yes, I was thinking.

I enjoy studying people.

You know, some people's brains would never be missed.

- I have often thought that.

♪ Oh, Wyatt Earp ♪

♪ Wyatt Earp ♪

♪ Brave, courageous, and bold ♪

♪ Long live his fame and long live his glory ♪

♪ And long may his story be told ♪

- Give me that gun, Johnny.

- No, I'm gonna kill-

Oh. (gun thudding)

♪ Well, he cleaned up the country ♪

♪ The old Wild West country ♪

♪ He made law and order prevail ♪

♪ And none can deny it ♪

♪ The legend of Wyatt ♪

♪ Forever will live on the trail ♪

♪ Oh, Wyatt Earp, Wyatt Earp ♪

♪ Brave, courageous, and bold ♪

♪ Long live his fame and long live his glory ♪

♪ And long may his story be told ♪

(suspenseful light dramatic music)

- Good morning, Mr. And Mrs. American,

all the ships at sea.

Sociology, quizzes, and sex questionnaires

are on the docket today at Collins College.

Midnight parties and midnight moving pictures,

classified in police files but not in college catalogs,

are catapulting a little college town

into the big city headlines.

The famous newspaper people assigned to this case

make up a who's who of journalism.

At 11:00, just two minutes from now,

a trial will begin That may shake American education.

This case has been likened

to the celebrated Scopes Monkey Trial

when the teaching of evolution in the schools

was being judged.

Now it is sex on trial.

And that is a subject which concerns everyone.

It all started two weeks ago in this small college town

with a couple parked on Lover's Lane,

like thousands of other young couples throughout the world

were doing at that very same moment.

Little did they know

that they would set off a chain of events

that would rock the civilized world.

(suspenseful ominous music)

(suspenseful ominous music continues)

(suspenseful ominous music continues)

- What's the matter with you?

- Oh, something's happened to her.

Something awful happened to her.

- Cut that out.

Something awful will happen to her after she gets home.

- She's probably hurt lying somewhere in agony,

calling for me, oh!

- I called the hospital.

If anything happened, we'd have heard it.

Besides, it's all your fault.

You let Sally walk all over us,

do anything she wants...

Get off my pants.

- Oh! Where are you going?

- Where do you think I'm going?

Going out and find her.

(bright ominous music)

(Sally screaming)

- What did you do?

- That's why I have to be your father!

You selfless brat!

Do you know what your mother's been through?

- I'm glad you didn't suffer.

- You're so! - Oh!

- Let me go in and let go!

- Now, where have you been till 3:00 in the morning?

- I told you I was going out.

- You complained all afternoon

that you had so much homework to do.

You said you'd be up for hours.

- She's been up for hours.

- A good girl doesn't come home at 3:00 in the morning.

- It's not 3:00.

- It's quarter of.

- I called the Grovers, you weren't there.

- Now who have you been with and where did you go?

- What difference does it make?

I'm home now.

Besides, I'm not gonna be shouted at.

And why did you call the Grovers?

I thought you might be with Faye,

you both visit so often.

- All you did to embarrass me!

And you promised you wouldn't embarrass me any more

by calling people if I was 5

or 10 minutes late getting home!

- 5 or 10 minutes on a school night,

you're supposed to be home by 10:30.

And here it is, 3:00!

- I didn't come in at 3:00!

- Well, a quarter of is just as bad!

- Well, who says that I have to be in at 10:30?

- If you were living in a college dorm

where you'd be getting disciplined,

More than you do at home, you'd be in at 10:00!

- Well, it just happens that I'm living at home.

Though you do your best to make it into a jail.

- Oh, I make it into a jail?

Well, what are your complaints, Miss Prisoner?

Matching skirts and cashmere sweaters?

A cell that's more furnished

than any room in this house?

A guard who makes your bed and cleans up your daily mess?

- And even the warden hasn't got the right

to go snooping in other cells!

- No? Who's got a better right?

- Before your screaming broke my eardrums,

I heard you!

- You said, who's got a better right, correct?

- I'm gonna make this house really into a jail

if you don't answer my original question.

Where were you until 3:00?

Almost 3:00 this morning?

Sally, I'm gonna ground you but good if you don't answer me.

I'll see to it you go to your room after your meals.

You don't go anywhere on weekends.

- Mommy, make him leave me alone.

- You'll go to none of the college affairs.

And instead of that formal your mother's asking me for,

I'll use some money it would've cost

to put bars on your windows

and a time lock on your door.

- Why don't you put me to work in the garden breaking rock?

It'll make quite a sight for the neighbors.

- Rather that than some pictures of you in the newspaper

hiding your face from the photographers.

- Oh, you've mapped a great future for me.

Thank you very much!

- Oh, Sally, a person who'd keep you out

till 3:00 in the morning doesn't deserve to be protected.

- Well, I didn't wanna stay out this late.

- Go on.

- But he didn't want me to go home.

- Who?

- Can't we just forget it? I'm upset!

- Upset? Because of us?

Who are you kidding?

Now who are you out with?

Who? Who? Who?

- I won't tell you a thing when you're shouting like this!

- Oh, please Ted.

- Oh, dear offended daughter.

Dear indulgent wife and mother,

will it be asking too much to tell this stupid father

where his daughter has been until 3:00?

Oh, no, no, no,

not 3:00 to quarter of 3:00 in the morning?

Sally, I want an answer and I want it fast.

- Steve. - Steve?

Steve who?

- I guess she doesn't bother

to get the last names of her pickups.

- Oh, that's the trouble.

You are always bugging me.

I've never been out with a pickup in my life.

- You talk like a girl who goes for pickups.

If you talked like a decent human being,

who was getting an education, instead of a beatnik.

Now stop sidestepping me

and tell me where you were!

Who were you out with?

- Steve, Steven McInner.

- Who's he?

- He teaches principles of sociology.

- Principles of sociology.

What are they?

- It's the study of the origin,

history and constitution of human society.

How parents treat their children.

I thought you went to college.

- No, I left after one semester

because I couldn't afford to stay in college.

My inconsiderate parents were too poor.

So I went to work

because I had a glorious vision of the future.

I was gonna give my family advantages

so they wouldn't be ashamed of me,

for not having studied the principles of sociology

until almost 3:00 in the morning.

- Well, he interviewed me.

I'm part of a survey.

- Interviewed you till 3:00 in the morning?

- Quarter of, besides we stopped for coffee

after, and- - After what?

- After the interview!

- And just where was this interview?

- He pads in a little bungalow out at the lake.

- You went to his place?

- Well, all the kids do.

It's fixed up with books, records,

low do-it-yourself furniture, wood carvings.

Only I don't really think you can call it carvings naked

because they're savages, aborigines.

Matt calls them creatures of the prime evil.

Anyway, it's a real casbah-ville.

We kids drop over anytime,

even when he is not there for drinks.

I mean the non-alcoholic kind,

which he serves the uninitiated.

- And what goes on if you're initiated?

- You'll have to ask someone who has been.

Not me, we just play his records

and read the books he brought back from Paris.

- I didn't know your French was that good.

- Mommy, they're in English.

Well, don't look so shocked.

They're not as bad as the ones

you've got hidden in the attic.

Anyway, Steve has questionnaires

he asked to fill out,

stuff like that.

- Till 3:00 in the morning?

- I felt blue.

I was worried about my grades.

So I thought I'd get some tips on how to study.

So I went to his place.

Well, I thought the other kids would be there.

No one was.

About 9:30, I told him I was ready to cut out.

- And?

- I started for the door

and he was leaning against it.

- He wouldn't let you leave?

- He looked at me with his eye suddenly so strange.

Then, he asked me how much I believed in science.

I said a lot, but, but not in mad scientists.

Oh, Dad, the way he stared,

I suddenly felt frightened.

His voice was odd.

He told me not to be scared that nothing was gonna happen.

And I remembered your words telling me, Mom.

If someone ever trapped me,

I wasn't to look scared or fight or scream,

but I was to kid them

and tell 'em how much I enjoyed their company.

After a while, I knew handling it

would be easy if I kept calm.

So I went back to a chair, not a sofa.

That would give him the chance to sit next to me

and I told him my mind wasn't open, but an empty book.

- Presence of mind.

To be able to think fast,

ensure an emergency is awfully important.

- He wanted to talk

about a really intimate part of his study.

He asked what boys and I say to each other on dates,

if certain words have more meaning than the dictionary,

gives them words like make out or make time.

And if some words stimulated me,

made me feel things.

So I kept answering.

Kidding and laughing

and made him make a coffee and sandwiches.

So he'd be thinking of other things.

He kept talking

as if it was the most natural thing to talk about.

The more and more awful things he kept asking me,

as if I'd ever done any of those things!

- [Presenter] Psoriasis: a heartbreak when you have it

and don't know what to do about those crusty patches

on your skin or scalp.

Heartbreaking too if psoriasis leaves your skin

rough and scaly.

- Dave.

- [Dave] Yeah, who is it?

- Hannigan, light a match, I can't see you.

(guns firing)

(guns firing)

- Go ahead, son, try it.

- I don't want it, Dad.

- I bought it for you.

It's expensive, oh Lord.

- Fred, you're such a good shot.

He'll just feel inferior.

- [Presenter] Often, people who are sensitive to others

can be more sensitive to headache pain.

Bufferin is for these people.

It's strong medicine that treats you gently.

Plain aspirin's fine,

but Bufferin goes to work much faster,

yet is gentler to your stomach.

Because tough problems are tougher on sensitive people,

we believe the strong medicine you need

should treat you gently.

Faster, gentler Bufferin.

Strong medicine for sensitive people.

- I'll be patient with her, my boy.

And with the right understanding on your part,

I have high hopes for her eventual recovery.

Oh, I'll be in town for a few days.

If you need me, just call.

- Well, my faithful husband, no less.

You finally decided to come home.

What's the matter, Harry?

Couldn't you stay on the suspense any longer?

Couldn't you wait another minute the psychiatrist's verdict?

What did he say, Harry?

Does he think I'm crazy too?

- No one thinks you are crazy, Nancy.

- How nice.

Then, you believe me?

You believe I saw the satellite?

- It's not the first time someone has seen a satellite.

- Right in the road with a giant in it?

Don't be so condescending.

- I can't figure it.

Everybody talks about law and order

but nobody does anything about it.

- [Presenter] The revolver and the nightstick

can now be supplemented by a spray called Chemical Mace.

It renders its victims helpless

but causes no permanent injury.

Technical director for the manufacturer, Allan Litman,

describes how it works.

- Although the effects

are really quite superficial,

the person is very, very concerned with his own wellbeing.

He feels these effects coming on.

They're things that he really hasn't experienced before.

He really is so concerned with his wellbeing

that he completely loses interest

in the attack or what he was doing

that perpetrated the use of the Chemical Mace on him.

- [Presenter] To demonstrate, we asked a volunteer

to undergo the actual experience of being subdued by Mace.

This man is not an actor.

What you will see and hear in a moment

are his unrehearsed reactions when the officer squirts

the real disabling mixture in his face.

- What's the matter, pal?

(dog squealing)

- He doesn't like something around here.

- Oh, my eyes!

My eyes are burning.

Face feels like it's on fire.

I can't breathe.

I'm feeling dizzy.

Oh, oh...

Stop, stop.

- [Presenter] David [indistinct] a slight recovery.

- Oh, it's starting to wear off now.

I still can't see.

- [Presenter] Will recover 15 to 20 minutes

after an application of Mace,

and illustrates why many US police departments favor it.

- [Interviewer] Could this be a weapon

in helping police departments to fight

some of the legal restrictions

that have lately been put against them by the court?

- Very definitely.

We here have little agreement with those police chiefs

who have responded to the problem of the court decisions

merely by wringing their hands

and moaning about the police being handcuffed.

We feel, with considerable conviction behind it,

that the effect of the court decisions

in making post-crime detection work more difficult

is really one of offering the police a challenge

to carry out their patrol work more effectively,

a challenge which can be met

with the aid of American technology.

And a very good example is this kind of a defensive weapon.

- Why is this horrible thing happening?

I've searched everywhere for the answer

and I can't find it.

All night, I, I lie awake thinking, why?

Why? Why? Why does it have to happen?

Well, you have to tell me.

- I wish I knew, Carol.

I wish I knew.

- Hi, you know,

if you ask any smoker,

what do you want most out of a cigarette?

You'll get the answer in one beautiful word.

Wait a minute, let's ask.

Excuse me, sir, would you mind telling me,

what do you want most out of that cigarette you're smoking?

- My pleasure, of course.

- You did say pleasure.

- That's what I said, pleasure.

- Thank you very much. - Not at all.

- Well, there you have it.

The beautiful word, the big promise

every cigarette makes to all smokers: pleasure.

Now I'm gonna tell you something

you may or may not believe.

It happens to be effect.

And here it is, plain and simple.

- Every known study by psychologists and psychiatrists

has proven that pornography

is in no way harmful to the adult public.

- That fact has been proved

by the best qualified authorities in the world,

outstanding nose and throat specialists.

So if it's pleasure you want,

just remember in Philip Morris,

it's not just a promise, it's a reality.

- Call for Philip Morris!

- Kid, are you trying to be deliberately dumb?

- [Presenter] Walt Disney's "Pinocchio" is coming soon.

Yes, Pinocchio, you saw him in a few scenes tonight.

And soon, all of Pinocchio's wonderful adventures

and beloved cartoon characters

will come to a theater near you.

Figaro, Honest John and Gideon,

Jiminy Cricket, and...

- [Presenter] Elsa Martinelli as the Whip Girl.

Anthony Quinn as Kublai Khan.

Christopher Lee, Peter Lorre,

Boris Karloff, Basil Rathbone.

♪ Boop-a-Doop, a-Doop, a-Doop, a-Doop ♪

♪ Boop-oop-a-Doop ♪

♪ I'm going down the highway 105 ♪

♪ And got my gal beside me, I'm glad I'm alive ♪

♪ For watch a double line ♪

♪ Now everything is fine ♪

♪ I'm speed crazy ♪

♪ I got the wind in my face, the wind and a hat ♪

♪ If you want to race, I'll be right there ♪

♪ I watch a double line ♪

♪ Now everything is fine ♪

♪ I'm speed crazy ♪

♪ I like to get there fast ♪

♪ I like to feel like I'm flying ♪

♪ And to never ever want to be last ♪

♪ I got the car that I love ♪

♪ I tell you no lie ♪

♪ I love what I do ♪

♪ I live till I die ♪

♪ I watch a double line ♪

♪ Now everything is fine ♪

♪ I'm speed crazy ♪

♪ I'm speed crazy ♪

♪ I'm speed crazy ♪

♪ I like to get where I'm going ♪

♪ I like to get there fast ♪

♪ I like to feel like I'm flying ♪

♪ And to never ever want to be last ♪

♪ I got the car that I love ♪

♪ I tell you no lie ♪

♪ I love what I do ♪

♪ I live till I die ♪

♪ I watch a double line ♪

♪ Now everything is fine ♪

♪ I'm speed crazy ♪

♪ I watch a double line ♪

♪ Now everything is fine ♪

♪ I'm speed crazy ♪

- [Crowd] Yeah!

- Poor Smiley, you know something?

I think you're real gone.

Hey, where's Gina?

- She's over there.

- You've been everywhere.

All I do is work here with my mother

and stick around this burg.

- In Chicago, man, that's a swinging town.

Lots of action in the loop.

That's really something.

You ever been to a big league ball game, baby?

- Mm-mm.

- It's the most.

The majors are tops.

Being on top's the most important thing in the world

'cause there's nobody that can kick you in the teeth.

- Why'd you say that?

- 'Cause I know what it's like.

I was in an orphanage.

There was this big guy named Robbie.

He had two guys hold me down

and he kicked me in the ribs and in the face

'cause I hid some cigarettes,

I wouldn't give them any.

They beat me till I passed out.

Robbie said I fell down the stairs.

The super was scared of him.

So he went along with this story.

That's the last time I was on the bottom.

I give the licks now.

- I like you, Nick Barrow.

You are different from the boys here in Fairhill.

You've seen so much.

You know so much more.

I'm gonna leave here someday

and see those big cities,

tour of the town,

have money to spend in,

and a big car.

- victor Shannon.

- Well, Shannon, I guess you just can't take it.

You better go over and sit with the water boy.

All right, boys, try number 42.

- Someday, he'll go to Vassar,

but I don't even think he'll make the team there.

- I think a lot of this is my own fault.

When Austin's mother died,

I should have given him more of myself

instead of turning him over to the petticoat influences

of nurses and governesses.

- I'm afraid that's all water under the bridge.

From now on, it's your duty to give Austin

much more of your personal time.

- What's happened to that old adage,

"Like father, like son?"

When I was Austin's age,

I never ran away from a fight.

- Well, very often, the boy takes on the mother's qualities.

- Perhaps, but I'm stumped.

I thought I was going to get one kick after another

watching him grow up.

My business would present my problems,

but Austin would be my relaxation.

♪ Hello everybody, hello ♪

♪ It's always the shampoo that glorifies your hair ♪

♪ So hello everybody ♪

♪ Hello everybody, hello ♪

♪ It's always the shampoo that glorifies your hair ♪

♪ So hello everybody ♪

♪ Hello everybody, hello ♪

♪ It's always the shampoo that glorifies your hair ♪

♪ So hello everybody ♪

- [Presenter] Remember all worn out Halo Shampoo?

Well, we fixed it.

(explosion booming)

- Mr. Charles Swanson, please.

- I'm Charles Swanson.

- My name is Michael Anthony and I won't be long.

May I come in?

- Oh sure, certainly.

This is my wife, Valerie Janine,

my wife, Val.

- I'm happy to know you, Mrs. Swanson.

You see, I have something for your husband

that he can't tell anybody about except his wife.

And since you are here,

there's no reason why the two of you

shouldn't hear the news at the same time.

- Good news?

- I think so.

- It's a check for a million dollars.

- It's a cashier's check as you see.

All yours, no strings,

and entirely tax-free.

There is, however, a stipulation.

You must sign this paper

agreeing never to reveal to anyone

the exact amount of the money you have just received.

If you do, whatever money or tangible assets

you may have left will be reclaimed on behalf of the donor.

- Sure, sure, but who gave it to us?

- I can't tell you that.

The donor specifically requires absolute anonymity.

You will never learn who he is.

- I don't believe this.

Oh, I can't believe it.

It is impossible.

Things like this just don't happen.

And now this, a check for a million dollars,

what did I ever do to deserve it?

And Val, you can stand... she's fainted.

Val, honey, wake up.

- A million dollars.

- And that's the story of Lucky Swanson

and his million dollars.

I'll be back in a moment

to tell you about next week's millionaire.

- [Presenter] Symphonies Under the Stars

of the Hollywood Bowl

always attract screen celebrities.

Here arriving for tonight's concert

is glamorous movie star Jeanne Crain.

- You never know when you'll have your picture

taken in Hollywood.

So naturally, whenever I go out in the evenings,

I try to look my best.

And to make sure my hair shines,

I depend on Lustre-Creme Shampoo.

It never dries your hair.

It beautifies it.

You'll love it too.

- [Presenter] Lanolin-blessed Lustre-Creme Shampoo

makes rich lather even in hardest water,

leaves your hair shining eager to curl.

That's why it's Hollywood's favorite.

Why four out of five top Hollywood movie stars

use Lustre-Creme Shampoo.

How about you?

Choose the cream or new lotion form.

♪ It never dries ♪

♪ It beautifies ♪

♪ Lustre-Creme Shampoo ♪

- [Presenter] See Jeanne Crain

starring in "The Second Greatest Sex,"

A Universal International picture.

Print by Technicolor in CinemaScope.

- Next week, I'll tell you the story of Jane Costello

and how a million dollars affected her life.

- Dan, Dan, if they find us,

they can have the marriage annulled.

They can find us.

Mama's got so much money,

she can hire private detectives

and our pictures will be all over the papers.

- We're not going to let them find us.

We'll go away, far away.

- See you next week with the story of another millionaire.

(bright music)

- [Presenter] This is the CBS television-

Oh, goddamn it.

(bright upbeat music)

- Oh, just a minute.

Sorry about the door being locked.

Do you wanna see me?

if you're Steven McKenna, yes.

- Yes, I am, come in.

- They're too big for me.

- That's all right, come in.

This is Ms. Laslow.

She's one of our exchange students.

- How do you do?

- I'm Ted Blake, the father of one of your students.

- Well, I guess, this is going to be too adult for me.

- Well, thanks very much for filling out the questionnaire.

- Even though I didn't know all the answers?

- All right.

- College and co-eds have certainly changed since my day.

- Oh yes, indeed.

Customs do change.

Not as formal as in your day or mine.

But I suppose the basic purposes, drivers,

and instincts are very much the same.

- Our classes weren't conducted in this manner.

- Oh, you mean Ms. Laslow

sitting on my desk and the door locked?

I guess some men have been hanged for less.

- Or for more.

- Let's see now.

You are Sally Blake's father, are you?

- That's right.

- Uh-huh, well, Sally's grade is a C.

But I'm sure she can do much better.

- How? By keeping her out till 4:00 in the morning

instead of just 3:00?

- I'm sorry, I don't follow you.

- You mean to tell me

you don't have extracurricular contact with my daughter?

- Yes, of course.

She's one of the girls helping with my research project.

- Oh, that's what you call it nowadays, huh?

Well, tell me something

about this so-called research project of yours.

- Well, to put it simply, it's a social study

of college-aged youngsters

and their reactions to a mechanistic environment

that's poised with one foot in space

and the other on the brink of nuclear destruction.

- Social habits? - Yes.

- Aren't you more interested in their sex habits?

- Well, if you want a blunt answer

to your blunt question, yes,

those and other habits.

- So you admit it.

You admit that you're indoctrinating young girls

in sex practices?

- Just a minute.

I'm not indoctrinating young girls into any practices.

This is a survey, a purposeful survey,

that'll be very helpful to society

and I don't like what you imply.

- I'm implying nothing.

I'm accusing you.

This so-called survey of yours,

isn't it some kind of Kinsey report?

Does the college know about it?

- Certainly, the college is entirely familiar

with what I'm doing.

What are you talking about?

The survey covers every aspect of social activity.

For example, a part religion plays

in the thinking of these young people.

Are you aware of the fact

that there are certain religious groups

that have a sex incident before marriage,

that's just one third of norm?

I assume you'd approve of that.

So you see, you can't hide sex under rocks or ignore it.

Hasn't Sally ever explained this thing to you?

- The first I heard of this project

was about 3:00 this morning when you brought her home.

- When I brought her home?

- And took off like a hot rodder.

- You are making a big mistake, Mr. Blake.

- Good afternoon, I am Howard K. Smith.

The program behind the news usually seen at this time

is postponed today

in favor of the special CBS news report to follow.

(people chattering)

- Question here! - Question here!

- Go ahead.

- [Reporter 1] Cut that crap out.

- Cut that crap out! - Cut that crap out!

- Hey Murray!

- [Reporter 2] Is that a question?

- You guys are nothing

but a bunch of British Elvis Presleys.

- You must be blind. - It's not true,

it's not true.

(crowd laughing)

- Welcome, Elvis. - (audience applauding)

That was just the great vocal group,

the George Mayor in the background.

Elvis, your new record hit,

I predict it's going to be one

'cause I've heard you rehearse it.

You're gonna record it tomorrow called Hound Dog.

I got you a very cute little hound dog right here.

And away you go, who's that?

♪ You ain't nothin' but a hound dog ♪

♪ Cryin' all the time ♪

♪ You ain't nothin' but a hound dog ♪

♪ Cryin' all the time ♪

♪ Well, you ain't never caught no rabbit ♪

♪ And you ain't no friend of mine ♪

♪ Well, they said you was high-classed ♪

♪ Well, that was just a lie ♪

♪ Yeah they said you was high-classed ♪

♪ Well, that was just a lie ♪

♪ Yeah, you ain't never caught no rabbit ♪

♪ And you ain't no friend of mine ♪

♪ You ain't nothin' but a hound dog ♪

♪ Cryin' all the time ♪

♪ You ain't nothin' but a hound dog ♪

♪ Cryin' all the time ♪

♪ Well, you ain't never caught no rabbit ♪

♪ And you ain't no friend of mine ♪

- Hello, Dan.

- Oh, hello Eddie, how are you?

- Swell. - Where are you bound for?

- We're gonna spend a weekend up at Briarwood.

- Briarwood? - Yeah.

- Say you can do me a favor. - Sure, Dan.

- You've gotta past Baker Street, see?

- Where's Bagel Street? - Baker Street.

All you have to do is ask anybody.

- It's on our way? - It's on your way.

- Sure. - Look,

I want you to deliver these hats

to the Susquehana Hat Company.

They sent these straws

- instead of Derbies. - Oh sure, that's simple.

- Hi, Dan! - Would you do it for me?

- It's about time you got here.

- Why didn't you wait for me?

We're going up to Briarwood to spend a weekend

and this guy's [indistinct]

- going without me. - Come on.

Would you put your coat?

- Okay. - Okay Dan,

we will take care of it.

- Thank you ever so much.

- Okay, Dan.

- How have you been? - Good.

Hey, keep [indistinct] shop while we're gone.

- I'll be glad to. - Okay.

- Hold this for me.

- What do you doing with the hats?

- You've gotta deliver these to the Susquehana Hat shop.

- Where? - It's on Bagel Street.

- Where's Bagel Street?

- I dunno, we'll ask somebody.

It's on our way down there.

- How much you say they are? - $7.50 a piece.

- How do I look with a seven and a half dollar hat on?

- Let me see.

Hey, kinda spiffy.

- Okay? - All right.

Carry those but don't get it dirty.

- Let's go. - Be careful.

- Bagel Street, eh? - Bagel Street.

- We'll ask somebody. - We'll ask someone.

Here, ask this fellow where Bagel Street is.

- Okay, excuse me,

can you tell me where Bagel Street is?

- Sorry buddy, I haven't got a dime.