Original subtitles

- Call Pete. - Calling Pete.

Your call has been forwarded to an automated...

Fuck.

No, no, no, no.

Call Sydney.

Calling Sydney.

Your call has been forwarded

to an automated voice message system.

- Call Carmy. - Calling Carmy.

- Your call has been forwarded to... - What the fuck, Carmy?

You never answer your goddamn phone.

Call Marcus.

- Calling Marcus. - Come on, come on.

- 3-4-9-7. - Shit. Shit.

Call Richie.

- Calling Richie. - Fuck!

- Yo. - Is not available.

What?

please record your message.

- When you complete your message... - Fuck you!

Or press one for more options.

Oh, my God. Okay. Call Claire.

- Calling The Bear. - No! Fucking call Claire!

Calling The Bear.

Call fucking Claire.

- Calling The Bear. - No.

Oh, God. Please, please, please.

- Hey, fuck you! - I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Fuck you, C-Fold!

Fuck.

Oh, my...

Oh, my God.

Call Mom.

Calling Mom.

♪ ♪ Can I scream? ♪

♪ ♪ Yeah ♪

Okay.

- Honey. Honey, honey, honey! - Oh, shit.

- Hon, I’m right here! Honey! Honey... - Oh, God. No, no, no.

- Stop. Stop. Slow, Mom. - No. This is so great!

- I love you. Slow. I’m begging you. - You must breathe.

- Slow. Slow! Slow. Slow. - Sweetheart, you must breathe. I am slow.

- You must breathe. - I’m breathing.

- How far are the contractions? - I don’t know.

- Please chill. I’m fucking breathing, Mom. - Hee. Hee...

- No, breathe. Hee. - I’m breathing.

- No. Mom, I’m breathing. - Hee. Hee.

- Hee. Hee. - What are you doing?

- Breathing. Hee. Hee. - Oh, my God. Mom.

- I’m fucking breathing! - Hey! Hey.

- Natalie, don’t yell at me. - Oh, my God.

I have done this three times, okay?

- Please. No. - I know.

- Please, just fucking stop it. Okay. - You must breathe.

Mom, I need the baby to come into a calm

and relatively normal environment,

which I know is, like, fucking beyond foreign to you.

But I’m begging you, for this ultra specific time,

to please, for the love of fucking mother of fucking Christ,

just chill the goddamn fuck out.

- Okay. Okay. - Thank you.

Okay.

- What are you doing, Mom? - I’m coaching.

- Coaching? - Just coaching. You must breathe, Natalie.

- No, this is stressing me out! - Yes, you have to breathe.

- No, it’s calming you down. - Jesus. No, it’s not!

- It is. It’s calming you down. Breathe. - Stop! It’s not calming me down.

- You see me! I’m not calm! - Hee. Hee. You are calm.

- Breathe. Hee. Hee... - No! Stop!

- Okay, you’re gonna make me throw up. - No. No!

- I’m not gonna make you throw up. - Jesus.

- Giving birth is gonna make you throw up. - Jesus fucking Christ!

- Honey, just breathe. Just trust me. - Please, stop.

- Please, stop! - Breathe. Hee.

- I am fucking breathing. - Hee. Hee.

- I wouldn’t be alive. - Hee. Hee. Hee.

- Hee. Hee. Hee... - Shut the fuck up!

- - But it is not how it was done.

Not back then anyway.

I mean, we didn’t, like, "know" our doctors.

- Oh?

You know? They were just men who said things.

- Mm-hmm. - Was I excited?

You bet. I couldn’t...

I wanted a baby so bad.

You know? I wanted someone

to love me the way I had seen.

You know, all those smug mothers down at the Jewel,

blocking the aisle with their strollers.

Do you know what Gina said to me?

Gina fucking said to me...

she looked down at my stomach... she says to me,

"You know, Donna,

there are lots of good Chinese babies, honey."

I mean, can you imagine?

Can you imagine she said that to me?

The joke was on her, God rest her soul.

I was two months gone with Michael at the time.

Fucking bitch.

Mom, uh, can you call Pete again?

Oh.

No, no, no, no. I did.

I did. I already did.

Oh, no, no. I called him. I left him a message.

I said where we were,

and that I was here and that everything was good, so...

Okay.

It’s all good.

- Thank you. - You’re welcome.

Uh, did I... Did I tell you that I walked to the hospital?

- Wow. - Yeah, yeah, to give birth.

- I walked to the hospital. - Wow.

Okay, Natalie Berzatto?

- Yes. - Yeah.

Can you confirm your birthday is 11/10/88?

Calling for hands in 17.

I’ll go after intake in 24.

Yeah. And... And my husband, he’s on his way.

This is my mom, Donna.

- Hi. Hi. - Hi, Donna.

All right, Natalie. Do you have a birth plan?

Yeah, uh, natural.

And I would prefer to avoid an enema

or excessive shaving of pubic hair.

Yikes.

Mom.

What? I’m sorry. It’s just... Yikes.

Um, I wanna be able to move around

and switch positions while I’m in labor.

- And can we dim these lights? - Mm-hmm.

- Yeah, we can. - Okay, great.

- And do you have music? - Yes.

Okay. I just wanna, like, dim the lights

and listen to music, you know?

- Yeah. - Something good

so that the baby comes into something really good and...

You know.

Okay, so no epidural?

- No. - Okay.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Natalie. Natalie. - Mom. No. Stop.

Wha... What? I’m sorry.

- Are you out of your fucking mind? - Oh, my God.

- Don’t, Mom. - Are you out of your fucking mind?

I just... Why not see if I can withstand the pain?

- I don’t know what it’s gonna be. - I know what it’s gonna be.

- Do you? Is that right? - Yeah. Yeah.

- I have done it three times. - Sorry. Yeah.

And we’ve only been listening to you talk about it

for the past four fucking hours.

Okay. Will you check the supplies?

- I haven’t had a chance. Thanks. - Yeah. Either of you like a water?

Yes, that’d be good ’cause this coffee...

Actually, can you take the coffee?

’Cause it’s... no, seriously... ’Cause it’s-it’s cold.

- Um, I would love water. Thank you. - Thank you.

- Yes. I would also like a water. - Be back in a moment.

- Thank you. - Thanks.

- Thank you. They’re nice. I think. - They are.

- They’re so sweet. - Yeah, they’re cute. They’re young.

- Okay, can you stop that? - Well, no.

But it... You don’t...

Thank you. That’s very helpful.

- Thank you. - Yeah. You’re welcome.

Uh, I appreciate that.

- Yes. Thank you, Mother. - Mm-hmm. You’re welcome.

Just trying to help.

Yeah.

- Mom? - What?

I just don’t wanna be numb.

Is that so bad?

Honey, you know what?

Natalie, you do whatever you want.

I’m just telling you as someone who’s been around the block,

this particular block hurts like a motherfucking son of a bitch.

Okay.

But you do whatever you want, sweetheart.

- I’m just looking out for you. Really. - Thank you. Thanks.

I-I also read that it can be helpful

- to have full control of your body... - No doubt.

And that epidurals sometimes lead to C-sections,

- so I don’t... - You know? Do whatever you want.

But i... if it does get bad,

and I do decide that I might... I’m gonna tell them that I...

- Yeah, yeah. - I’m gonna get the epidural and...

- Yeah. Yeah, whatever you want. - Okay.

- Thank you. - Of course.

- You know what? - Mmm?

- What? - You have a little mark on your cheek.

Can I get it off? I don’t want you to lose your shit at me.

- Don’t be passive-aggressive. - I’m not.

Every time I try to do something, you tell me to stop.

- May I get the spot off your cheek? - Okay. Okay. You may. You may.

- Right now. I don’t know. - Just...

Maybe it was coffee. I don’t know.

- Okay, thank you. Thank you. - It’s gone.

You’re welcome.

- Oh, God.

I wish I could crack my back.

- Don’t get old. - You okay?

- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I’m good. - Do you want a little...

No, no, no, no. Don’t worry.

You have a baby.

So where were you going?

I was going to get paper towels.

Yeah, restaurants have to have paper towels.

- They do. - Yeah, they do.

- This one never does.

It was so nice out today. I wanted to be outside.

Yeah.

Where were you going?

I was getting my hair done.

- I’m sorry. - No.

Natalie, come on.

There’s no... no place I’d rather be.

Well, thank you for meeting me.

Well, thank you for asking me.

I will tell you, I was a little surprised.

Me too.

Pete will be here, honey.

I know.

- Does Carmen know? - Uh...

he didn’t answer his phone when I tried to call him.

- Shocker. Yeah. - Shocker.

Honey. Honey.

Honey, you don’t have to keep staring at it.

Baby’s fine. Really.

- The baby’s fine. - Yeah, okay.

Oh...

- I know.

- It’s coming. It’s coming. - I know. Okay.

- - Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe.

Hee. Breathe.

- Come on. - Stop!

Come on! Come on. Hee. Hee.

Hee. Hee.

- Stop doing that. - No, no, no, no. Hee.

- Hee. Hee. It’s not helping. - There you go.

- Yes, come on. Hee. - Oh, God. The fuck.

No, no, no. Say the fucking words. Come on.

Hee. Hee. Hee. Hee.

See? They’re working. Slow it down.

- Slow it down. Slow it. - Hee. Hee.

- It’s working.

There you go. There you go. There you go.

- There you go. There you go. - Okay. Okay.

- See? It works. Yes, it works. - Yeah. Yeah.

- Thank you. - You’re welcome.

You see?

- Mmm.

Okay.

Okay.

Can I ask you a question?

Yeah.

You didn’t tell me about the baby, and...

I think I understand why.

- Mom. - But do I understand why?

- I wanna hear the rest of the story. - Okay.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Michael.

Yeah, you were walking.

- You were walking somewhere. I don’t know. - Oh.

Fuck.

- Yes. I was walking. - I don’t know.

Yes, I was walking.

I didn’t know what else to do.

I remember it was so cold.

I mean, so cold.

But you know, I felt really good. Great.

Like I vividly remember feeling, like,

really good and strong, you know?

I mean, in between contractions,

but, like, I could take these stunning deep breaths

and then the pain would hit and kicked my ass.

It was like a...

It was like a shooting star through my entire being

and I remember I would stop and pause

and, like, hold on to a... um...

um...

- Just, like, whatever was around? - No. The parking meter.

- Or the street sign. - Oh, yeah.

And... And then it would pass, and then I got to the hospital.

I walked in and I literally shouted.

I was like, "Hello. Drugs."

"Hello, please. Hello?"

- Okay. Keep it down. - "Give me drugs."

- "Like, give me the drugs."

And they did.

And then, you know, Michael was born.

And the doctor said...

The doctor said it was an amazing birth,

because, somehow, I guess he had gotten

sort of twisted up inside there,

right up until the last minute, literally to the last second.

It was... It was kind of like he like he...

like he wanted to stay in there.

Yeah.

What about Carm?

- What? - Fuck.

- Your father was there for that one. - Mmm.

- He was? - I wish he hadn’t been.

No seriously. We were fighting the entire time.

And the hospital.

The hospital was a fucking mess.

It was as if every person in the world

decided to have labor at that exact second.

- Oh, God. - And he...

- He kept asking for a sedative. - Dad did?

Like he was about to give birth.

Like he was asking for a sedative,

and he was panicking, and he freaked me the fuck out.

And then Carmen... fucking Carmen... he took so long.

It was so hard and so scary,

because he kept getting stuck,

and they just kept having to move me,

and I remember they were moving me in all these positions. And then at one point,

I think they had me fucking upside down or something.

I don’t even remember. But, babe. Babe.

- Yeah? - No, no, no, no.

It’s not gonna happen to you.

That’s not gonna happen to you.

You know what? It was fucked all around.

The whole thing was fucked.

Seriously. From the beginning, it was fucked.

And you know what? I thought I was gonna be on easy street.

’Cause I was told, you know, boys are easier.

Are they easier?

I don’t think any of it’s easier.

It just all hurts the same.

- Shit. Shit. Shit. - Come on.

- Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. - Come on. Come on.

- Breathe, baby.

Breathe. Hee.

Hee. Hee. Hee.

Hee. Hee. Hee. Hee.

- Come on, baby. You can do it. - Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Hee. Hee.

- Hee. Hee. - Now slow down.

- Slow down. - Hee...

See? Look. Look. Look on the monitor.

- See? It’s working. Look, look, look.

- You can do it. Slow it down. - Hee. Hee.

Hee. Hee.

- Let me rub your back. - Okay. Okay.

- Please rub my back. - See. It works.

Hee. Hee.

Hee...

This is not hindering.

Breathe.

Okay, yeah.

You know what? You have your dad’s ass.

I’m feeling your ass,

- and it’s just like your dad’s. - What the fuck, Mom?

- Your dad had a nice ass. - What the fuck are you talking about?

- He had a nice butt. - Okay, get off me!

Jesus fucking Christ.

Oh, my God.

Call Pete again, please.

- May I get you anything, like a snack?

Something to eat? What would be good?

Sorry, I’m just still fucking reeling over having Dad’s ass.

- Can I get you something? - What do you want?

It seems like you want something.

No, no, no, no.

No. What can I get you?

What do you like?

- Do you know what I fucking loved? - What?

Ice chips.

- Ooh. - Ooh.

- Ooh.

- Okay. - Can I get you some?

- Yeah. Please get me some. Thank you. - I will.

I’m gonna go get ’em.

- Okay. Please. - Okay. Let me go get ’em.

Thank God.

"Your dad’s ass." Jesus.

No.

No, no. No.

Say the words. Say the words.

Hee. Hee.

Hee. Hee.

Hee. Hee.

- Hee. Hee. Hee. - There you go.

Hee.

Hee. Haa.

- Oh, my God. - Slow it down.

No.

Okay.

- Okay.

- Okay. - Mmm.

You have that. There.

Thank you.

Try those.

Okay.

Just let it dissolve in your mouth.

- See? - Yeah. I like crunching them.

- Really good. Delicious. - Delicious.

Incredible.

- And cheap. - Mmm.

- This is that good ice too. - Mm-hmm.

Hey, everybody.

- Hi. - I’m Dr. Levin.

- Hi. I’m Natalie. This is my mom. - Hi, Natalie.

- Hello. Donna. - Hi, Donna.

- Want some ice? - Uh, no, thank you.

- Um... Okay, let’s see how we’re doing here. - Okay.

- Um, come down a little further. - Okay.

Good. All right.

Now you’re gonna feel some pressure.

Okay.

Um...

- Okay. Okay. - Okay. Great.

I mean, everything looks great,

but you’re only five, six centimeters dilated.

Okay.

So... So now what?

Uh, you wait.

We need to adjust her toco.

What if I don’t wanna wait?

Oh. Well, oxytocin. You go like...

Yeah.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Well... Well, we could try oxytocin.

Or Pitocin.

Are... Are you asking me if that’s a good idea or...

No, it’s just... It’s really up to you, Natalie. It’s your body.

Uh...

If you were to guess

how much longer you think the whole thing will take?

Well, however long it takes.

- Dr. Levin. - Hold on.

- Dr. Levin.

We’ve got a code OB in room two.

Okay. Yes, I’m coming.

Nurse Choe, we have a baby down in room two.

We’re opening the OR for a possible crash.

- Please assist. - Yes.

PPH. Grab the hemorrhage cart.

Mom?

Yeah?

I think I want the Pitocin.

Yeah.

You know, I think.

- Yeah. - It’s probably the right choice.

And maybe an epidural too.

Yeah. Good idea.

Let me make my hand cold.

Put it on your forehead. See how that feels.

That feel good?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

Thank you, Mom.

- Mom? - Mm-hmm.

What did you think I wasn’t saying before?

That you didn’t want me around.

Am I right?

I just didn’t want all the stuff you bring with you.

Yeah. I’ve been trying to put that stuff away.

Yeah?

How’s it going?

It’s not easy.

I bet.

I’m glad you’re trying.

Me too.

I just...

Mom, I don’t want her scared like I was scared.

I scared you?

You scared all of us.

Oh, that’s terrible.

That’s a lot.

I don’t remember your mom.

You don’t want to.

I’m sorry.

I feel like everybody’s mad at me all the time.

I ask people if they’re all right way too much.

If someone feels sick, I start to feel sick.

I feel alone.

Or ugly.

Or like I’m in trouble.

- I feel like Pete’s gonna leave me.

Why would Pete leave you?

I’m just telling you, these are the things that I think about.

- Okay, but that’s irrational. - A lot, Mom.

- No. - It’s irrational.

Okay, but it’s exhausting too.

I always put you first.

Always.

Aw, that’s sweet.

No, it isn’t sweet. It’s fucked up, Mom.

I’m always trying to make you happy.

Mom, I’d make myself sick to make you feel better.

- Do you understand that? - I do.

And I can never forgive myself for that, Sugar. I can’t.

Mom...

I don’t... I’m not asking you to.

I don’t need that.

I’m just...

You know, you asked me why I didn’t tell you.

I just don’t want her to feel the way that I felt.

Oh, she won’t.

- You don’t know that. - Oh, I do.

I do. I do.

- I’m so scared. - I know.

- It’s so much. - It is, yeah.

I’m right here.

I just want her to be okay.

She’s gonna be okay. She’s gonna be fine.

And I wanna be good. I really wanna be good.

You are good. You are.

I want her to be okay. I just want her to be okay.

- She’s gonna be fine.

- Okay. Okay. - Okay.

- Come on. Come on. Come on.

Hee. Hee.

Hee. Hee.

It really hurts. It really hurts.

It hurts.

I definitely need the epidural. This is fucked.

- Oh, my God. - Hee. Hee.

Come on.

Hee. Hee. Hee.

Hee. Hee.

Hee. Hee.

- You’re doing so great. - Oh, my God.

- Okay. Okay. - Okay.

Okay, Mom.

Okay.

Okay.

- Oh, my God.

Okay.

Ice chip. I need an ice chip.

Okay. Put your head back.

Oh, my God.

Here.

- Here, babe. - Yeah.

One more.

- Okay. I feel some much better. - All right.

Thank you.

Does that feel good?

That feels so good.

See.

- This is so fucking weird.

- So weird. - Oh, my God.

So weird.

So weird.

I’m happy you’re here.

Me too.

Tell me about me.

What do you mean?

Like, delivery.

It was beautiful.

- Really? - Yeah.

You were beautiful.

I wasn’t due, you know, for a few days.

And I was home alone, and I don’t know why.

You know, I don’t know where your father was.

But I was home alone, I was so excited,

because I was gonna get to go to bed, like,

at eight o’clock, you know?

- That was like...

And I remember I climbed into bed,

and I fell into the deepest, fastest sleep I’ve ever had.

And I had this... this really vivid dream, but...

You know those kind of dreams

where you’re just doing normal stuff...

- Yes. - but things are, like, super detailed?

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah. So.

In this nothing dream... I mean, nothing dream, um,

I must have had, like, the day off

from whatever job, you know, I had,

because I was in the city.

And it wasn’t Chicago, and it wasn’t New York.

It was some sort of hybrid city, you know?

And... And there was a fish tank.

- A fish tank? - Big fish tank in the middle of the city.

It was this giant fish tank,

and I was the only one looking at it.

I mean, it was... it was like... like a mega,

like a... like a dentist office kind of mega fish tank.

And I remember... I remember the colors were...

They were so sharp and vivid and neon,

you know, and I was the only one looking at it.

And it was in the city, and the city was all gray.

And it was beautiful. And I remember

I was, like, watching it for the longest time.

I was just staring at it for the longest time.

And all of a sudden, I noticed that the glass

started to come apart like it was gonna split.

But I wasn’t worried, you know? It wasn’t bad,

because I knew that more people

were gonna get to see these beautiful fish.

And then I woke up,

and I was sweating, and my water had broke.

Wow.

And I, you know, made my way to the hospital,

and, um... um,

Auntie Gail met me there. The, um...

Jimmy’s first wife, but I don’t think you ever met her.

- Did you ever meet her? - I don’t know.

- No. This was his first wife. - I feel like I’ve seen photos.

- Okay. - Yeah. Yeah. She met me there.

And she was sweet, and she sat with me.

And she put on this beautiful song,

and...

And then Natalie.

Mom.

You’re beautiful.

Thank you.

What song?

Hold, please.

Hold, please.

Hold on. Hold on.

- Um... - You want me to help you?

No, no, I know how to drive.

- Okay. - Okay. Just hold on.

♪ ♪ Woah-oh ♪

♪ ♪ Woah-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ ♪ Have I ever told you ♪

♪ ♪ How good it feels To hold you? ♪

♪ ♪ It isn’t easy to explain ♪

♪ ♪ And though I’m Really trying ♪

♪ ♪ I think I may start crying ♪

♪ ♪ My heart can’t wait Another day ♪

♪ ♪ When you kiss me, I’ve just got to say ♪

- ♪♪ Baby, I love you ♪ - ♪♪ Come on, baby ♪

- ♪♪ Baby, I love you ♪ - ♪♪ Ooh-wee, baby ♪

- ♪♪ Baby, I love you ♪ - ♪♪ Baby, I love only you ♪

♪ ♪ Woah-oh, woah-oh-oh-oh... ♪

Honey.

- Hi! - Hi. Hi.

- Oh, my God. - Hi.

- You’re here. You’re here. - I’m sorry I’m so late.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I’m okay. I’m good. I’m good.

Oh, my God, baby.

How was it?

- I won. Yeah, I won. - Yay!

- That’s amazing. - Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

- Yeah? - I’m good. Good.

I parked in a handicap spot,

but there were tons, and I’ll go move it.

But the guy was like... I was like, "My wife’s in labor!"

- He’s like, "Go, go, go, go!" - Yeah, yeah.

- I’m so happy you’re here.

♪ ♪ Come on, baby ♪

- ♪♪ Baby, I love you ♪ - ♪♪ Ooh-wee, baby ♪

♪ ♪ Baby, I love you ♪

Thank you.

I love you.

I love you too.

What do I do?

Just stand next to her.

Okay.

Hey, Mrs. B.

Hey.

What took so long?

The phones were off.

- Hey, Mrs. Berzatto. - Hey.

How you doing?

Is everybody okay?

Yeah, I hope so.

You’re a grandma now.

- Stop. - You’re a grandma.

Can you imagine?

You’re gonna be a good one.

- Oh, yeah. - I can.

Yeah.

♪ ♪ Woah-oh ♪

♪ ♪ Woah-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ ♪ Have I ever told you ♪

♪ ♪ How good it feels To hold you? ♪

♪ ♪ It isn’t easy to explain ♪

♪ ♪ And though I’m Really trying ♪

♪ ♪ I think I may start crying ♪

♪ ♪ My heart can’t wait Another day ♪

♪ ♪ When you kiss me, I’ve just got to say ♪

- ♪♪ Baby, I love you ♪ - ♪♪ Come on, baby ♪

- ♪♪ Baby, I love you ♪ - ♪♪ Ooh-wee, baby ♪

- ♪♪ Baby, I love you ♪ - ♪♪ Baby, I love only you ♪

♪ ♪ Woah-oh, woah-oh-oh-oh... ♪