Original subtitles

The City of Unspeakable Fear

It's the big scare, it's the big fear Beware the inspector is here,

His name, they say Simon Triquet

His father was in the police, his uncle, nanny and his niece

It was his fate! It was his fate! *DEATH TO PIGS*

He's a nice guy, a tender heart, but just you wait, it's not so hard.

Alas! Alas! Fatalitas!

If criminals get in his way chances are they'll get away

And their accomplices and their accomplices!

We undertakers, gravediggers, we love him with all our heart.

Ah, the good cop! Ah, the good cop!

The ones he pursues step by step, we put away, yessir, you bet

because these fine guys snuff it big time

Triquet crops up, death follows him, and on death's trail we smile and grin.

Hope it lasts! Hope it lasts...

A drunkard, picked up on the public highway.

He's all yours.

I won't miss a round-up for a drunkard.

Antoine, I'll leave him for you.

My cassoulet! I can't leave it. Pass him on to Triquet!

Do you think it's safe? - Oh, what, for a statement...

This way.

M. Triquet! - One moment, please.

Here's a good one.

"The cells like the countryside. You can hear the pigs."

It's for a statement. There's a round-up, you couldn't...

They trust me again. - You have your... personal qualities.

What about my study on police station graffiti?

I thought I was only good for that.

Here's the client. Bye, M. Triquet.

Could I take his fingerprints? - If you want.

No initiatives! - Then I'm not interested.

So... carte blanche!

A statement... A new experience.

What joy!

How sad...

Poor man. To put yourself in such a state.

Just think, I can draw up a report on this fine fellow, no holds barred.

Most unfair.

OK, I'll still take your fingerprints.

It's messy but it's fun.

But he's suffocating, the poor man!

Deep breath!

He's all sweaty. He'll catch a cold when he gets out of here.

Hey, rascal!

I'm not going to strip him naked. Rest assured.

That's out of the ordinary.

Sergeant, come and see! - And my cassoulet!

It'll burn. And spoil the pan.

I'll bring him to you.

There... there.

It's curious indeed.

It's not hot.

My cassoulet!

And this drunk is chilly. Interesting.

Chilly! Who asked your opinion!

Damn, the cops! And cassoulet! I hate cassoulet!

So, last name, first name, profession, date of birth.

My cassoulet! Look what he did with it...

Bloody hell! But it's...

I'm sorry, but I haven't been able to complete my statement yet.

You did better, Triquet!

You arrested Mickey the Benedictine. Counterfeiter and murderer.

But, sir, I had nothing to do with it. A simple statement...

Well done, Triquet! Bind the guy for the scaffold!

Well done!

What? Monsieur risks... - Yes... my head.

And we won't put parsley in your nostrils.

You can't do that to him because of me!

Really you can't!

It's awful.

It would be even more awful if we were in his shoes.

And all because of me. - No unnecessary sentimentality!

One brute less is a godsend.

It's freezing? - And he who's always chilly.

I beg your pardon, sir. - I have something to say:

I hate cops and the worst of all is you.

Take it up. Unbelievable!

It's not jammed since Louis XVI. I'll check it out.

Hurrah! It works!

- He's... He's... off! - Poor executioner...

No, not the executioner, Mickey the Benedictine.

He made a fine getaway, the Benedictine. - And now we can't execute him.

Yes, one strike and that's it, if I might say. - That's the custom.

Unless he commits a new crime. - Poor fellow, he must be warned.

You'll take care of it? - Yes.

Damn it! I'll have him. I'll ask for a special mission.

I'll accompany you. - Oh no! not you.

Sorry... he's my client and I have rights over him.

I can ask my uncle to arrange this for us.

It's true, you, the old boy's network. You bourgeois.

While me, I'm a self made man.

I am a "no man's land".

Gentlemen, you are on a mission to arrest Mickey the Benedictine.

Like any self-respecting criminal,

he will return to the scene of his crimes.

As a result, you will search for him in the 5 towns of France

where he made counterfeit money.

Inspector Virgus, I entrust Inspector Triquet to you,

who I love like a brother since he is my nephew

and like a son since he is my sister's.

Thank you uncle. - Commissioner! - And be careful, eh.

Come in.

Three towns down and nothing.

From 5, remove 3, there are 2 left.

That's it, Barges and Tourlieu.

The circle is tightening. Suffice it to say that Mickey...

Is cooked.

But he will no longer ascend the scaffold.

Mistake! I'm sure he's already committed a new crime.

You can bet your life on it.

Why all these lives at stake.

Barges in... ten... ten minutes.

And Mickey the Benedictine? How long?

It's a question of deciding Barges or Tourlieu?

Woodcock or trout?

I prefer Tourlieu and trout.

We're going to draw lots. - But I don't like hunting.

Me, I prefer fishing!

Let's not go into this... Draw a card!

Oh lucky guy, he won! You get off at Barges.

Here's your gun. And for me the fishing rods!

You lucky devil...

I still have two hours of train to put up with.

Report every night!

You call me at the Hotel du Commerce.

And send me some of the woodcock you killed.

I like them.

A taxi, please?

No more taxis after dark '

What does it mean?!

Curious...

A stranger has just arrived. By the night train.

He's a hunter.

Don't scare me like that.

A hunter... So what, a hunter?!

Nothing but a hunter.

Maybe he's come to hunt the Beast.

Shut up, you wretch! When we talk about it, it makes it come.

Mum's the word. - Calm down.

La Villa des Cyprès, please?

Métèque, the Bargeasque is going to eat you!

The what? - The Beast!

What beast, please? - The BEAST!

A beast... that will eat me?!

What's that?

The beast! The beast!

Daddy don't be afraid, I'm here.

Look out!

You were afraid? - Yes, I thought...

She never hurt anything but the Beast.

Ah, the famous Beast. - Yes. The Bargeasque.

She is Saint Urodèle.

This lady killed the monster long ago, in the old days.

If Madame killed it,

why are people here so afraid of it?

It came back.

Watch out for it.

Good evening, sir.

Thanks for the advice. Good evening, madam, sir.

The gun...

Is this for the Bargeasque?

No, for woodcock and more...

All this is not very Catholic, is it, Mme Urodèle?

What is it?

Your tenant, M. Triquet.

The hunter from Paris? - That's it.

Are you alone? - The one and only.

Nothing in sight? Any strange being?

Your courage isn't to the fore.

I've been in several wars, sir, and I've got medals,

but with this thing lurking...

We'll talk about that tomorrow. I'm tired.

Show me my room! - The top of the stairs, to the right.

And beware of the Beast! - My suitcase...

The beast?

I didn't come here to study natural history.

This newcomer isn't afraid, but just you wait and see.

This nocturnal bustle is not without interest.

Now, now, Mme Urodèle,

M. Paul is interested in this gentleman too.

M. Douve continues to work,

as if nothing has happened.

Look, Saint Urodèle. As one tenant moves in,

immediately another moves out.

A forged note. I've found Mickey.

Hello? Give me 14 at Tourlieu, please.

Quick, it's urgent.

Nice work... This Mickey's a real expert.

Hello? I would like to speak to the inspector...

to M. Virgus.

A gentleman who has just arrived.

He's here, I found Mickey.

For God Sake! Did you arrest him? - Not yet, but I have some clues.

You've got to be kidding. You gave me a fright.

Why a fright? - Mickey's not in Barges but Tourlieu.

I've got clues. - I've got some too.

Mickey's not in Tourlieu but in Barges.

In Tourlieu! What do you bet? - You'll lose. I have proof.

What? - A fake bank note.

So, what does that prove? - That proves I'm right.

Counterfeit notes aren't made all over France.

What do you know about it?

What's this note like?

Only printed on one side.

Send it to me by post.

I can't. It just flew out the window.

Ah! You were kidding me! Your proof, gone with the wind!

Inspector... - M. Virgus.

And Monsieur Virgus bet you a case of beer

that Mickey is not in Barges but in Tourlieu.

Hold the line! I'm running after my banknote.

Run, my dear fellow. He leaves the loser.

Tell me, in your country,

is there perhaps a chilly drunkard who is bald or wears a wig?

There are several.

The odds are on me. I leave the winner.

He won't have much luck finding what he's looking for.

We got there before him.

Good morning.

Were you looking for something? - Yes, woodcock.

And did you find many? - No, they flew away.

May I?

We don't care for them round here, people who snoop.

I know. A friend of mine once told me.

A bald, chilly or wig-wearing drunkard.

He lived in Barges. Don't you remember him?

I don't remember anything or anyone.

A little effort...

No?

Fine, thank you anyway.

He lived with the butcher. - And the butcher, where does he live?

Right hand side, leaving. - Thank you.

I'll return your ball.

At your age, aren't you ashamed! - Sorry, kitten.

And pow! Right in the eye.

Here...

Our hunter is going to get his woodcock at the butcher's.

Don't bother yourself, I was seeing a friend.

There are no friends here. There are no friends anywhere.

We still have friends... We still have some. At least one.

Not me.

Maybe before, but not anymore since I'm your friend.

Have you finished?!

You hear all that yelling! - It's because they like you.

You think? - But of course.

To come back to my friend, the chilly drunkard...

The one who didn't like cassoulet? - That's him, the very same.

It's ancient history.

That was when I took a lodger.

He kept me company.

She would be lovely company.

Don't joke... in front of everyone.

I understand... And our tenant?

One fine day, he left without even a word.

I was disgusted, I no longer take lodgers.

But he's not come back recently? - I never saw him again.

You shouldn't blame him. Between us, we'll find him.

I'd rather not. You see... you're bothering me.

Take your turn in the queue like everyone else, sir!

Don't scare my customers. - I was only joking.

I'm leaving.

But remember you have a friend who will come and see you again.

Bon appétit, ladies.

There you are!

That's what happens when you piss people off.

"Eat our tasty marjoram sausages"

Well...

He's also interested in wigs, Mme Urodèle.

Sir? - Madame.

I would like a mannequin.

What kind? - As a souvenir.

When I am traveling, I always buy souvenirs.

Nougats in Montélimar, tripe in Caen

and at Barges, of course, a mannequin.

Although it's not edible.

I'm not that greedy but...

I love cassoulet.

Do you like cassoulet?

No, sir.

Mickey, I got you!

Oh sorry... I beg your pardon, ma'am.

I took you for a friend who likes to play pranks on me, dress up...

He's crazy!

I'll call the police. - Not at all.

Accept, madam, this compensation for my reckless act.

The hairdresser... I know what it costs. Madame, Miss.

Adeline, maybe it's a fake note?

He has a heart of gold, Julie.

Road hog!

Pedestrian, you'll only be run over when one's sober.

And Doctor Clabert is as pissed as a newt.

Unless he does it on purpose...

Well now, pedestrian...

The studs?

What do we do with studs? - Studs?

But... I don't see any.

You don't see them, but they still exist.

By municipal decree, we must cross there.

Ah, yes?

But don't you find this driver a real public danger?

Don't insult Doctor Clabert. - Sorry.

He's driving askew, but it's up to you to walk straight.

Besides, are we walking straight?

Let's see if we are walking straight. We'll take a few steps to the wall.

But you don't take me for a drunkard?

Chilly perhaps? - Keep going...

And this doctor "thingy", is he chilly?

We have some weird questions.

Does he hate cassoulet?

I'm given the impression of a strange type.

Swell! We're gonna have a visitor. - The hunter?

Loupiac nabbed him?

They're chatting. He must be crazy.

Don't judge lightly, pet. - You bore me with your thoughts.

He's behaving crazy, so I say he's crazy!

Did you report your presence to the town hall?

Ah... so I must report my presence to the town hall.

I've never heard of that.

Here, it's so. It's a municipal decree.

It's illegal. - It's like that. Ah! It's him!

Is it also by municipal decree that we always get the sun in our eyes?

That's none of your business! Walk!

The Town Hall is that way.

A choc ice, Mme Urodèle?

The mayor is waiting for you.

I didn't ask to see the mayor.

The mayor receives all strangers passing through our town.

He must be very busy.

There aren't that many and those who do...

are just passing through. They don't stay.

Why so?

Saint Urodèle killing the Bargeasque.

Interesting document on a local legend.

It's not a legend, sir. It exists.

Have you seen it? - Alas no...

How happy I would be to have seen it, sir.

I've never had such luck.

Because you sympathize?

Sir, I worship it.

It's not a Beast like the others...

But, doesn't it scare you?

Terrible fear, sir! Terrible!

M. Douve, you keep the mayor waiting. - Follow me.

We'll talk about it again. - Whenever you want.

And what are all these ushers doing? - They wait like all ushers.

And why so many? - A municipal decree.

It must be expensive. - The mayor pays them from his own pocket.

Amazing, isn't it?

I like you and you have one quality:

you don't seem at all like the one I'm looking for.

Sir, welcome to our good town of Barges.

What! - What? Nothing...

Every visitor is like a personal friend.

I'll introduce myself: Chabriant. What!

I'll introduce myself: Triquet.

Architect. - Ah... Art School...?

What year? - Uh... the best.

So sir, are we coming to the provinces to be run over?

Surely in Paris one can manage that too, what.

Yes, but in Paris, we don't hunt woodcock.

In the company of a chilly drunkard. What!

Ah, you know!

So that chilly drunk you're looking for, who is he?

I'm not looking for him, I'm waiting for him.

And if he's not here, I'll hunt woodcock alone.

Alone? It can be dangerous.

Because of the Beast, the Bargeasque?

It's a legend, don't you think?

You never know. - We'll know one day...

You want to clear up this mystery? - Me? Not at all.

Only the woodcock interest me, M. Chabriant.

Well in that case, I wish you good luck and good hunting, sir.

Miss Livina, please escort M. Triquet,

who does us the honour of coming to hunt on our territory.

Goodbye, M. Chabriant.

What... - What? Nothing...

Miss, I didn't want to bore the mayor

but I hope to meet in Barges a chilly drunkard,

bald or wearing a wig and hating cassoulet.

He's an old friend of mine. - He's a funny one, your friend.

Yes, that's why I would have liked so much to find him.

Contact the gendarmerie.

I won't disturb those gentlemen for a trifle.

I'll continue to drop a word here and there...

casually.

I don't want to be taken for a policeman. - I understand.

Hope we meet again even if you have nothing to say

on my drilly chunkard ... uh on my chilly drunkard.

Excuse the slip.

Are you there?

Hello?... what...

What do you think of this fellow? Suspect, right?

Him? A lamb.

Is he walking or running, Mme Urodèle?

Hello, sir. I would like some medicine.

Like aspirin but much stronger.

It's for a hangover... terrible.

It's not for me, of course, but for a friend.

He drinks a lot because he is always cold.

You must know him.

He's bald and he hates cassoulet.

Get out, sir!

You talk to a man who's seen better days

and who does not like jokers of your kind.

Sorry, sir.

My sincere apologies.

Awkward so-and-so, the pharmacist. What an eye!

I'm coming!

Mme Urodèle, he's coming to us.

We'll finally find out what he's searching for.

But... I've lost him.

Oh, blimey!

Here?!

I didn't see the head

but the window, Saint Urodèle, it was...

I got you, little rascal! - Help, Saint Urodèle!

Oh, well I say...

You must know things with this!

No, I don't know anything. Having fun. That's all.

Having fun, have you by chance seen a friend of mine?

A very curious character. Bald or wearing a wig.

No, never. Besides, I never see anything.

Fine... suppose my friend is hiding in this town,

whereabouts would one look for him?

It is a very old town.

There are nooks and crannies...

tunnels, cellars...

with rats, snakes!

I like creepy crawlies.

First of all, who are you? What do you want from me?

I've already told you. I wanted to know if you'd seen anything interesting with that.

Zero! Besides, it only works when it wants.

Well, I'll come back, if it ever works.

It will never work again.

Goodbye, nosey parker.

Sorry.

M. Paul, what would you like?

Albert, could you lend me some needles and some black thread?

Right? Because your wife left with the sewing box?

If I had known...

We enter, we question, we pull our hair out, we spy?

We walk, we visit, we search. We meet.

Investigating? With authorization from the mayor?

A charming man, your mayor...

Written authorization. - I don't have any.

So we show our papers. - Not at all.

We resist, we rebel? - No, we're going home.

His papers! - I'm from the Police...

Do you take us all for fools? - No... Come on.

Sit down there.

Dragging me into the gardens? - How stubborn you are!

You are an inspector! Inspector from Paris!

Hold your tongue. No one must know.

Hold your tongue! - Silent as the tomb, inspector!

Not so loud. It's a secret.

It's funny, isn't it, something secret? - Yes, it's true. It's funny.

You'll spot all the chilly drunks for me first.

Then we'll do the details. With a fine-tooth comb.

And you'll keep me posted. - Reporting for duty, we know.

Let's go. - Not a word.

Have a good day, Inspector? - Hush! Shut up, blabbermouth!

It's true, but don't repeat it.

Minette... Our tenant is an inspector!

Inspector Triquet of Paris. On a mission!

Don't tell anyone!

The Parisian is an inspector. - My God, the Police!

The stranger is an inspector! - A tax inspector.

Livina!

Livina! You know the guy who just arrived from Paris...

He's a detective! - No?!

Yes...

Ah... he's a cop.

The Parisian is not going to be idle.

Everyone here deserves to be arrested.

Here as everywhere else.

All suffering humanity...

... to the hole! That's all they're worth.

You don't drink?

I'm looking for a friend. - I saw nobody.

I can't seem to find where he's hiding. I asked everyone.

I saw nobody!

He's bald like you and drunk like...

I saw nobody!

Thank you, sir.

But finally Mickey... Where are you hiding?

Or rather... who's the hider?

Dirty cop.

Is it true what they say? - Every word. An inspector from Paris.

Tell him to come see me.

What are you going to tell him? - A personal message.

Tonight, when everyone is asleep...

Very discreetly...

You too... be discreet.

He wants to see the inspector very discreetly.

When everyone is asleep. Don't tell anyone!

As if we could sleep with the Beast!

Didn't he say anything else? - Nothing.

But I saw he wasn't kidding.

He may have found your chilly drunkard.

It would be very good news.

And what do you want with him...

with this chilly drunkard?

To arrest him? - No.

To prevent him from committing another crime.

Isn't it rather the Beast you want to stop?

Don't mind the gentleman's business.

It's raining. Bring in the sheets.

You don't think I'm going out alone! With this prowling Beast.

Sweetie, there's no risk. Inspector Triquet is here.

It's a legend. This beast doesn't exist.

I'm still not reassured.

And I can't keep M. Franqui waiting.

Take your gun, eh.

I tell you it's a legend, a collective hallucination.

You heard? - No, it's nothing.

It's the Beast! It's going to eat my sheets.

He's taking his time, this inspector, Mme Urodèle.

I wish he'd arrive.

The Bargeasque!

Cover her, let's see!

The Bargeasque!

The Bargeasque...

I see nothing.

Sweetie?! - I'm confused.

M. Franqui is waiting for me. I'll be back.

Poor people... I shouldn't have laughed.

He won't laugh anymore, the inspector,

when he learns what we know.

Isn't that so, Mme. Urodèle?

But... Mme. Urod...!

M. Franqui... I'm late. I'm very sorry.

But who gave me such icy little hands?

It's not possible!

M. Franqui you're not going to leave us like this?

And Mickey... Who's going to tell me where Mickey is now?

Doctor!

A doctor!

A doctor, hurry!

A doctor, any doctor!

A doctor! - Over there.

Sorry. Doctor come quickly!

Aren't you feeling well? Stick out your tongue.

No doctor, not me! M. Franqui is dead.

I share your pain. - No, come quickly.

He may not be quite dead.

You know, a little more, a little less...

Well then, if it makes you happy. Let's do our job.

But I'll be back.

Take the chill off a little bottle of Burgundy.

How many glasses do I prepare, doctor? - Just one.

Come.

Heart failure.

Natural death.

Besides, all death is natural.

Yours will be too, gentlemen.

Look at the face on him!

Like he's been scared to death. - The jitters are also natural, sergeant.

But... who could have scared him? Or what?

Who? - What?

Yes... Who or what.

Neither, since the doctor tells you he died a natural death.

Natural death,

embellished with a strong emotion... naturally.

He will have seen a mouse. - Or a man, an armed man.

Maybe your chilly drunk, by any chance? - Shut up! No accusation without proof.

And evidence, there is none.

So no chilly drunkard? - Who's talking about a drunkard?

Take off your cap or you'll go bald.

So, M. Architect, is an armed man your hypothesis?

An armed man.

My God, Mickey....

Who is afraid of an armed man today?

The Bargeasque!

The Beast! That's a good idea!

A very bad good idea.

The jitters will grow and grow.

nervous breakdowns, premature deliveries, heart attacks...

In short, a lot of work in prospect for Dr Clabert.

But you should be happy about it, sir.

Only Burgundy delights me.

Gentlemen, good evening. Either way, I won't resurrect him.

Well, M. architect, since you are also a hunter,

if in doubt, get rid of the Bargeasque.

But I didn't come for that. - For what then?

To hunt woodcock.

And for the chilly drunkard too. - Hold your tongue!

Since sir doesn't want to deal with it. Tomorrow you will organize a hunt.

For the Beast!

For the Beast, exactly. Good evening, M. architect.

Good evening, M. Mayor.

Inspector... - Yes?

For the hunt, will you help me? - Yes.

If I ever found the Beast...

While waiting, take Saint Urodèle.

And put her in cold storage. She might scare the little children.

The Bargeasque, inspector!

Yes, it's the Beast that roams! Soon we'll all see it, Inspector.

But everyone seems to know I'm an inspector!

Get rid of the monster, Inspector!

Help me to find my chilly drunkard first.

To hell with chilly drunks! - Protect us, Inspector!

They're not very conciliatory. Come on... be a sport!

Psst! Inspector!

Don't look at me. It's the pharmacist...

You can see I wasn't telling any fairy tales.

I'm looking for a chilly drunkard. - I know one.

Where? - In the gypsy camp.

Inspector, do something!

Inspector, do something! - Calm down!

And these gypsies? - On the moor.

Inspector, do something!

Catch the Bargeasque!

Yes. Yes!

Show me the way. - I can't, people would talk.

But the gendarme will accompany you.

Here he is running away...

I'll have to go alone then.

So... working with the police, what?

He just wanted... an aspirin.

Yeah... I would like an aspirin too.

My head's splitting with their screams.

Still no news? What?

The same.

She'll write you a postcard one of these days.

Never!

Nothing allows you to say that, old man.

Your wife left you, that doesn't mean she's...

dead.

Yes, indeed.

So one day you'll see her come back home.

I hope not!

I mean... I've lost hope.

You'll put it on my account, won't you? Good night.

Anyone there?

No one?

Little rascal.

You're not afraid, are you? - Why should I be afraid of you?

What if it had been the Beast? - The Beast?

You too... No, I got lost in the night.

It's not me you're coming to see?

But I didn't know you lived here... alone.

With my sister. - And you're not afraid?

No more than you. - Oh, all the same...

Yes, of course, I'm not an inspector of the judicial police.

You know... You too.

Did you want to ask me something? - Yes, I'm looking for the gypsy camp.

It's the light there.

Are you going now? - Yes.

I'll accompany you. - No, it's far too dangerous.

Oh no, the gypsies are very nice, you know.

Look.

The light went out.

I know where it is. I'll guide you.

I used to play there when I was a kid.

But at that time, there wasn't any Beast?

No, it's true.

It's hardly 2 or 3 months since it reappeared.

Coming?

I didn't tell you... M. Franqui is dead.

No?! The poor man.

Dear M. Franqui.

What did he die of? - A heart attack.

But people believe... it was the Bargeasque.

And you, gypsies?

No, what I'm looking for has nothing to do with them.

It's a secret. - A secret? How exciting! Tell me.

In our business,

one really shouldn't confide.

But since I'm from the new school and I don't like routine...

Come on then. I'm on tenter-hooks.

I'm looking for a man who has already escaped the scaffold.

And you want to send him back.

No, that's not my style at all. I want to prevent him from going back up there.

Do you take me for a fool?

You heard?

I didn't hear a thing. - There's snapping over there.

That's not funny. - Don't be afraid, you're with me.

It's over there, follow me.

Oh sorry!

Can't we get any peace anywhere? - Dorothée!

You got me good, eh?

I didn't need you to uncover this mystery.

I didn't do it on purpose, miss.

Are you a rural policeman, or in the Moral Police... Not very nice, eh.

I wasn't looking for you either, sir. I'm sorry.

Well, I'll have to trust my sense of direction.

Good evening, sirs. - Good evening.

The gypsy camp, please? - No idea.

But I saw a little light on the moor.

Was it a will-o-the-wisp?

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Anyway... where is it?

The Bargeasque!

I'd like to speak to the inspector... to M. Triquet.

What's up?

No banknote flying around?

No chilly drunk on the horizon?

You'll lose your bet, old man.

A case of beer is not to be sneezed at!

Me, I like champagne better.

Who's speaking? A joker? A silly ass?

Hey! Get me Triquet. - Inspector Triquet is out hunting.

Middle of the night?

The Bargeasque is only hunted at night, Inspector.

Good evening, Inspector.

A shame!

Here is Triquet hunting in earnest.

I don't understand anything at all.

And you?

Did you find another chilly drunkard?

There's the one from the gas plant. - I'll bet you it's the right one.

Where is the inspector? - Didn't come home all night.

Isn't that rather worrying?

The inspector received a phone call last night.

It was I who answered.

Well? - He's not alone.

The inspectors are coming out of the woodwork. - Oh my God!

Does that worry you? - No, not at all... I'm reassured.

Gentlemen, my friends,

my dear fellow citizens.

You know the events which for several months, in the evening,

cloister you in your houses, silent with fear and anguish.

How right you are to be afraid.

This Beast is terrible!

Appalling.

We are going out to capture this Beast.

I mean capture it, not kill it!

It dangerous, but you must bring it back alive.

I repeat... alive.

My dear fellow citizens,

I recognize that the danger is very great, immense!

Immeasurable!

But it is worthy of the inhabitants of Barges,

who withstood a heroic siege against the English in 1415.

and those who do not return,

will be entitled to see their names engraved

on the stone that celebrates the exploits of their ancestors

who were not discouraged by the defeat of Agincourt, 1415.

Let the volunteers present themselves! - Present!

Very good. You're a brave man.

We want the inspector!

Insane, this is insane!

My dear fellow citizens, are you all cowards?

Yes. Yes. We can't go without the inspector!

Too late! The Beast ate him!

And if it were true...?

I'm going to tell my kitten, she'll be so scared.

The speech wasn't bad but the result's none too good.

Cowards, utter cowards!

I'll show them, I'll go alone.

And if you bring back the Beast, we'll open a zoo.

Anyone there?

Go away! Won't you leave?

Doctor!

I shouldn't drink on an empty stomach.

So, this expedition?

Exhilarating. I'm looking for the inspector. Seen him by any chance?

Yeah, climb up the tree there to the left.

In the tree, are you sure?

Are you suggesting I'm having hallucinations?

Thank you, Doctor.

Me? Hallucinations?

What a joke!

My good health!

Sober or not sober!

Ah, Inspector! I knew. The Beast wouldn't hurt you.

But it came close. - Come on! In the doghouse, carnivore.

I got lost in the night. I was looking for the gypsy camp.

You're all set. - Where is it?

I'll take you there, but first I have to find the Beast.

Again?! Lead me to the gypsy camp then I'll look for the Beast with you.

Inspector, I'll never forget what you're doing for me. Forward march!

Look, the fog is like a mirror reflecting the other side of the world.

Rather, it's like a mirror not reflecting what's hiding behind.

Is it far? - We're almost there.

The end of the path, after the dead tree. - I can't see a path or a dead tree.

My compliments, in the fog you're like a fish in water.

Sorry miss. I'm looking for a man... drunk...

who drinks... who drinks a lot...

and who is always cold.

Come.

Here he is.

Nice little beast.

I'm sorry but it's not him.

Do you have another to show us by any chance?

One like him is plenty.

And for the sleight of hand, 200 francs.

Ah my poor Douve,

I don't think I'll find my chilly drunkard.

He's not at Barges.

What if the Bargeasque has kidnapped him and kept him prisoner in his lair?

It's an unprovoked hypothesis.

And Franqui, what did he die of? Of fear. He saw the Beast.

Really, dear Douve, my only job is to arrest people,

not beasts and even less beasts that don't exist...

Inspector! - Or that don't exist very much.

Believe me, Inspector, there's a grain of truth to legends.

True... legends.

They are never dead, but are constantly being reborn.

One pursues another just like the clouds.

The Bargeasque was born when the Earth was young.

Thousands of years ago.

I thought Saint Urodèle had killed it. - Ah that's a legend! Lies.

Well?

The Bargeasque slept deep in a cave where no one could reach it.

And what woke it? - Lightning.

Lightning fell on the moor two months ago and since then...

But it's Livina's sister!

The beast! There it is!

It is! Finally I saw it.

No... No!

The beast! Don't touch it!

Mickey, I got you!

Don't hurt it! You mustn't harm it!

I got you, Mickey.

What... you're not Mickey?

How dare you! Damn butcher! - That's not good what you did there.

You see, you've upset him. We'll find you another Beast...

So the Beast, it was you? - You didn't want me.

A brave and honest trader.

Saving yourself for that poacher. - Don't insult me, tub of lard.

You, sir, I'll ask you to accompany mademoiselle.

And you, don't prowl at night. There are beasts, aren't there.

Five minutes earlier, I'd have bumped you off!

She didn't want me... - Sir, please follow me.

And cover up, you'll catch cold.

Damn butcher.

Come, gentlemen, to that fine town of Barges.

The Beast... on a bicycle. Leave me, it's really too much...

The trollop! She didn't want me. - I know... Come on.

The Beast! They've got the Beast!

They want you, what else. You must understand them.

Murderer! - Sadist!

Hang him from his own butcher's hooks!

Hang him!

Public poisoner! - Death to the butcher!

Some self-respect, please!

No question!

Long live the inspector!

Some self-respect, please! - My meat!

A real little hunting dog, our inspector.

Yes, but it's a shame because if the Beast had eaten him

I could have had him canonized like Saint Urodèle.

There's still a chance, right?

My meat!

Thieves.

Hang him!

You wanted to scare us, terrorist! - I won't allow it.

A mayor must restore order.

My dear fellow citizens,

my dear friends...

the impostor is unmasked and fear has dissipated.

And all this you owe to whom?

To Inspector Triquet! Well done, inspector!

Three cheers for Inspector Triquet!

We too will celebrate the end of this stupid legend.

Bring a case of champagne.

I can't see the inspector drinking alcohol. - Then bring a can of milk.

I'm going to miss this fine fellow.

You think he's already gone? And his chilly drunkard?

No, you think he's going to persist?

Tell me, M. Gosseran.

The butcher is not a drunkard. He's not chilly either. So...

I can't say a thing.

So the investigation will continue?

I can't say a thing.

Having unmasked the Beast all the same...

He's a smart one, the Inspector.

Ask him to find your wife.

Stick out your tongue.

Superb!

Clear eyes... A pink complexion...

Roman profile...

Gentlemen, this butcher is in perfect health...

The poor man! - but completely nuts.

For a Beauty, he played the Beast. A well known tune...

And now, to the asylum! - What'll we do to him?

Electro-shock, insulin-shock,

lobotomy... The kitchen sink, what...

He truly deserved it... The criminal!

I wasn't the one who killed M. Franqui. - Yes, it's you!

But he said it wasn't him. - Maybe it's the chilly drunk, eh?

Take off your cap or you'll go bald.

Franqui, wasn't me. I was only doing the Beast.

Inspector, my compliments! - I didn't do it on purpose.

I was only doing the Beast...

Gentlemen, I'm not a vet.

It's party time. They're enjoying themselves.

Go ahead, I'll look after him.

It's not regular. - But nothing is regular, old man.

So... Good night, Inspector.

Yes that's it. Good night.

Don't cry, sir. Remember, I am your friend.

That's so true.

I wouldn't be here if you'd been my mum. - There can be no question of that.

Now you must answer me very nicely.

Yes, sir.

Oh, the pretty red rocket!

Please sir, listen to me.

Was it you who scared Madame Gosseran?

Yes, I passed through the garden to go to the moor.

And M. Franqui? - I told you. it's not me!

I was hiding in a bush when he died.

When he died? So you saw someone.

You won't believe me. - Yes...

Oh, the pretty green!

Saint Urodèle... You know, the mannequin...

with the chopper.

It moved. - It moved? - Yes.

Tell me.

Yes.

The arm went down like that.

Like that? - Yes.

So it's not my chilly drunkard. It was an articulated arm.

It was an accident. I'll go check it out.

And so M. Franqui, he fell.

Stone dead.

You didn't think it was I who could have done such a thing to M. Franqui.

You don't believe me, do you? - Yes. I'll get you out of this mess.

Would you do that for me? - But above all, don't move.

With these madmen...!

The pretty green!

So Inspector, that chilly drunkard I pointed out among the gypsies?

Not interested, but thank you anyway.

Anyway, you've arrested the butcher.

I've taken precautions, to save his skin.

But he's innocent. Innocent of the death of Franqui.

So the investigation continues?

Yes, it continues? I think so.

And if necessary I will search the whole town,

cellars, attics... Everything.

But anyway... What are you looking for?

My dear sir, I do not seek, I find.

Alas...

My God!

M. Douve, where is the mannequin?

Mme Urodèle?

Where is Saint Urodèle?

Are you angry with me?

I didn't do it on purpose.

I didn't want to upset you with the Beast...

The real one will come back. To take revenge.

And that day, will be quite terrible!

A slaughterhouse!

M. Chabriant is waiting to celebrate your success. - Quite wrong.

Where's the mannequin? - In the cellar, where it belongs.

Coming with me? - To the cellar?

My intentions are honest.

You'll see that this Mme Urodèle is a very curious person.

You'll see... She moves.

Well no, she's not articulated.

But then... how could she have moved?

Inspector, what game are you playing?

Wait...

Don't move.

Here, take this and hold the pose.

Yes. Lower the axe.

That's it! Seeing the mannequin come to life,

Franqui is scared to death. There was something!

Do you believe in the miracle of Saint Urodèle?

Someone had taken her place.

Who? - My chilly drunkard.

He loves bad jokes like the butcher.

The butcher.... The poor man, he's innocent.

I'll prove the butcher's innocence. - Prove it, what?

You know, you can't let a criminal loose.

It's not in his best interest. - Nor of his future victims.

So, Inspector, the investigation will continue?

It's just getting started.

Will you sow trouble and worry throughout the land?

Ah me, I like that!

And what do you find, Inspector?

A murderer.

You look for him among them?

Is there a single one who appears to have committed a murder?

There are only decent people in our good town of Barges, what?

Committing a murder, they're quite incapable.

The doctor is joking.

But the grubby little things...

So there... I guarantee you, they all have something to be ashamed of.

Music!

What did you go and tell the inspector? - The truth.

In vino veritas... - What?!

We won't wash our dirty laundry in front of the inspector.

Dirty laundry is sometimes bloody.

Bloody?!

But rest assured, I don't mean harm to anyone.

You use the softly, softly method. - I do my best.

A new success for you, Triquet, the culprit denounced himself.

Mickey denounced himself.

His name's not Mickey, at least not to my knowledge,

and by this time, he must be dead.

But who's dead? - The pharmacist.

I don't understand. We must call the doctor!

Heart failure.

Natural death. Besides, all death is natural....

So... we kill our wife.

We bury her. We kill ourself.

Yet we were honourable. We were a first-class pharmacist.

How naughty we were.

Take off your cap or you'll go bald.

I found the woman. what remains of her.

He buried her and I dug her up.

As a crime it's a fine crime. They'll talk about me in the Paris newspapers.

But I didn't suspect a thing...

No false modesty, Inspector.

You will have your photo next to mine.

Go tell Chabriant.

On the double, Inspector.

Natural death?

Massive absorption of barbiturates.

We die... naturally.

Suicide?

As you say.

And his wife?

Uxoricide.

You aren't going to tell me it's a natural death?

Naturally.

Skull smashed in with a hammer.

We die... naturally.

What an atrocious crime.

He did himself justice.

A very severe justice.

In an assize court with a good lawyer he would have gotten away with it.

Yes...

Only there was Inspector Triquet.

You know if I was a criminal, I'd be none too happy.

You seem to be all innocence,

and then.... Croaked!

Alas... - How alas?

It's your job to stop murderers, right?

Alas... I didn't believe there were so many.

You're a funny cop, you!

Do you mind that I call you "cop"?

Not at all. We have to face it.

Come on, old man, don't beat yourself up.

Come on, we'll finish this together. - Oh, no thank you, never alcohol.

It's good though.

The younger generation... You don't know what you're missing.

It's not me, Inspector.

It's not me. - It's not me either.

The inspector, isn't on form. You're playing like an imbecile.

No... without ceremony.

The Bar... geasque.

But no, my kitten!

The Bargeasque is out of harm's way.

It's over. Isn't it inspector?

Yes, it's over.

Hello inspector...?

M. Triquet?

You little joker, don't think I'm more stupid than I am. I recognized you.

Get me Triquet.

So this daily report? Nothing! What the hell are you doing!

I'm playing dominoes, Detective Virgus.

Hush! M. Virgus!

You're kidding me, huh? I know you won your bet.

Alas...

Mickey is not at Tourlieu, so I conclude that he is at Barges.

I'm a good player. You'll have your case of beer.

Thank you, Inspector. - Don't be secretive.

Do you have any clues? - What do you think?

He killed two men. - You'll arrest him for me tomorrow.

I'm going to Barges and you bring him to me on the station platform.

It's an order! - I'll do my duty.

Search the whole town. Attics, cellars...

Inspector Virgus... - Yes?

Do you have to be unhappy to be so mean.

See you tomorrow.

Inspector, there's one I hadn't thought of.

- How is he? - Not very drunk, not very chilly,

but no question of making him eat cassoulet.

I'm going to win.

So Inspector, you're leaving us. - Not yet.

You don't expect to find a corpse in each house.

No, I wouldn't go that far,

but I'll still use a fine-tooth comb.

Fine-tooth comb? - Yes, a general search.

You are crazy. You'll sabotage our newly restored peace.

I'll do it very quietly. There will be no fuss.

Inspector, your zeal is excessive, excessive and intrusive.

I'll let your superiors know. - They're used to it.

Admit that you're nit-picking.

Franqui knew the pharmacist's crime, you arrive,

the pharmacist thinks Franqui will tell you and kills him.

By taking the mannequin's place. - Why not? He knew all the heart patients.

But Dr. Clabert too. - Do you suspect him?

Alas no.

But then who?

A boy decidedly... irreparable.

If you told me what you are really looking for. Maybe I can help you.

I've told you before, M Chabriant. I'm looking for a chilly drunkard.

For three days now, he must be miles away.

No, he's here... in Barges.

How can you be so sure?

Because Barges has something.

Something he doesn't want to part with.

He cares more about it than his life.

What can it be, Inspector?

All his material to make counterfeit money.

Ah finally! It's all clear, what?

You could have said so earlier.

He's searching everywhere. - We've nothing to be ashamed of.

Shut up! Want to make us suspects.

You'll do me the pleasure of pulling up all your undeclared tobacco plants.

It's not so much for the duty as for your health.

Give me, please. - So you don't read the papers?

Won't you let me in? - No...

Look out!

Not hurt? - Thanks to you, M. Douve. Thanks.

My vehicle! - The inspector was almost run over.

And that wouldn't have been a natural death, would it?

Is it an accident? What?

You can only run over a pedestrian if you are at the wheel.

And I wasn't there.

It was deliberate, wasn't it doctor?

Loupiac's intelligence works wonders.

Take off your cap or you'll go bald.

This disaster has made me thirsty.

Mickey's panicking. He knows I'm getting warm.

The search continues, Inspector?

It's fun, isn't it?

One shouldn't have done that. - You don't know what you're saying.

Clairvoyants

Just think there are fools who come to consult them.

Sergeant, this is the first time you've done us the honour.

But it's the station master.

I didn't know you were superstitious.

Madam, we will visit all the rooms.

Don't go to the trouble, you can do your inspection here.

Ladies, come on!

One is missing but she won't be long.

Goodness me!

He's visiting all the traders. - Our money is well hidden.

You never know with these damn tax inspectors.

I can't believe it! If I'd only known.

Well now that you do know,

go to the station and wait for Inspector Virgus.

And the station master in there. He might forget the train.

It would be better if I go back.

To prevent it. - Well... Go ahead, Loupiac,

but be chaste eh? Duty calls.

He's alone now, the Inspector.

Listen carefully to what I am going to tell you.

Here is a man.

Yes, it's a historic word.

Napoleon said it when speaking of Goethe.

Goethe? Never heard of him.

Ah well it's historic all the same.

And worth a drink.

Not drinking?

A useless mouth.

If you don't air granny every now and then, you'll hear from me.

Make all these implements disappear? Don't even think of it.

Too heavy.

Too bulky.

And then it's useless.

He's going to find them any minute.

Besides, I'm delighted.

Everything that happens is your fault.

Kill... Kill.

Franqui first.

And then this camouflaged accident.

And then who else?

I didn't want all this.

Poor Douve...

Fingers too skilful.

A forger's fingers.

Fingers of a criminal.

I'll tell him everything.

My wife stole it in a moment of aberration.

- You know what kleptomania is... - No, I don't know, sir.

But I would return the bicycle to its owner.

We'll be entitled to mitigating circumstances? I confessed everything.

Oh shit, I've punctured! - No, sir, it's a shot.

Here, sorry... Excuse me.

Ah, inspector, Douve is dead. - Oh, no...

They killed him, what.

I heard the gunshot and when I got there he was no longer breathing.

He too knew too much, M. Chabriant.

Gentlemen, go home but make yourself available to the inspector.

May I?

He didn't have time to hide the implements.

Inspector, I have a little secret to share with you.

I believe it is necessary.

Yes, I believe so too.

I was aware that Douve made counterfeit money.

I lent him the place and on the other hand, my God,

he gave me a few notes here and there.

300,000, 400,000 at most... In new francs of course.

I had such expenses. These ushers are costing me the earth.

Obviously it was very reckless of me.

It's the least one can say. - Well, it wasn't much...

Douve did it more for fun...

Well, at least I thought so.

But... he had an accomplice.

And this accomplice killed Franqui because Franqui had seen something.

Or he simply wanted to frighten him.

But... you seem to be well aware.

Too aware.

Then... you're going to tell me where that person is.

Inspector, if I speak,

could I keep my ushers? My pageantry?

You ask a lot of me.

Speak then.

So I'll tell you everything.

Just us two, Mickey!

Mickey, you are a coward.

Mickey, you're locked in.

I've got you.

You?! Oh no...

And Mickey where is he? Couldn't he save himself?

There is no Mickey here. Just me.

Just you? Then Chabriant?

It's me.

And Douve is me too. He wanted to denounce me.

And Franqui? - Again it's me.

He'd seen Douve counting the notes at the window.

His weak heart, I took the place of the mannequin.

Oh no... - No hypocrisy, eh.

You're a smart one.

Unmasking the Beast, the pharmacist, our gang... That's not bad.

I didn't do it on purpose. I knew absolutely nothing.

What a pity I missed you with the doctor's car.

Was that you too? - Yes, I released the brake.

Of course you would have died.

We'd have had less disasters in the town. It's all your fault.

No, I was looking for Mickey the Benedictine, the counterfeiter.

You found another, that makes up for it.

But this Mickey, where is he? - But what about me

My poor child... - I don't need your pity.

You will need it from the judges.

If I'm guillotined, you'll be promoted.

It's not my thing.

How were you drawn into this tale of brigands?

Chabriant loved youth,

I was his secretary. You know how it is...

No, I never had a secretary.

Now I have to get out of it.

Outraged virtue is well worth extenuating circumstances, right?

If you had surrendered to the Police, perhaps.

I give myself up. - No, I'm arresting you.

You mustn't stop me. Let me give myself up, it's for the best.

You're going to kill someone else.

I have no more to kill. It's just me.

And me...

I've no weapon.

Let me give myself up. I don't want to be cut short.

No. Less of that.

Come on or I'll handcuff you.

I'm out of luck.

There he is your inspector. He brought a buddy with him.

I won! Just in time!

I stopped him this afternoon. He offered no resistance.

You haven't committed any new crime? - I was as good as gold.

Saved, M. Mickey. You are saved.

What joy!

It's really you. - Oh yes, it's him!

And you? What were you messing around with these 3 days?

Mademoiselle and I have a declaration to make.

It's not your engagement, is it?

Quite extraordinary! I work my fingers to the bone

and you think only of starting a family. Now I've seen it all!

Stay still, asshole!

You swore in front of a lady. I'll teach you a lesson!

It's an order! Help!

It's OK, Detective Virgus.

Just a little temper tantrum.

Well there you go... I'll leave you.

Can I... - It's all right, Loupiac.

Goodness me!

I must warn the mayor. - He's dead.

I don't believe it!

Douve is also dead.

I don't believe it! - I killed them.

I don't believe it!

Well? Arrest me.

Do your duty, you at least.

I don't believe it!

It's the big scare, it's the big fear Beware the inspector is here,

His name, they say Simon Triquet.

His father was in the police, his uncle, nanny and his niece

It was his fate! It was his fate!

He's a nice guy, a tender heart, but just you wait, it's not so hard.

Alas! Alas! Fatalitas!

The ones he pursues step by step, we put away, yessir, you bet

because these fine guys snuff it big time

Triquet crops up, death follows him, and on death's trail we smile and grin.

Hope it lasts! Hope it lasts...

corvusalbus & zaza