Original subtitles

Five one seven, six delta issue five one seven.

One, two, three, up.

Up, in.

Hey buddy, buddy wake up.

Can you hear me?

Open your eyes for me.

- He's not breathing. - Gonna heck pulses here.

We don't have a pulse.

Go ahead and start compressions.

- Starting 30 over two. - Bags.

We need to do a rhythm check.

Okay we have V-fib on the monitor.

Go ahead and clear the chest.

- I'm charging to 360. - Clear.

And shock.

Okay, all right back on the chest.

We're still without a pulse.

Let's go with one milligram IV epinephrin.

Have the epi ready.

He's still not breathing.

All right, we got V-fib again.

I'm gonna go ahead and charge for the second time.

- Charging, clear the chest. - Clear.

All right, and shock.

Okay, pulseless.

Let's go ahead with another milligram of epinephrin.

- Come on buddy. - Still in V-fib.

- Come on, come back. - Gonna charge one more time

to 360, charging.

- Go ahead and clear. - Clear.

And shock.

? Come along with me say my name ?

? Shake shake shake ?

? It's all I need ?

? One two three ?

? Bleed constantly ?

? What's your name ?

? Put him in his place ?

? 367 equalizer ?

? 367 equalizer ?

? Prison protest give me a purpose ?

? Never going to speak it's our tradition ?

? Sit and speak on it ?

? Cry oh say my name ?

? White knight's kinda perfectly ?

? What's your name ?

? Put him in his personal place ?

? 367 equalizer ?

? 367 equalizer ?

? You would do what I do ?

? Do what they say ?

? You can die right ?

? There's no other way ?

? This is freedom ?

? Doesn't matter anymore ?

Ow.

Ow.

- Hey. - Just try and relax.

Get this shit off me!

You've been in a serious accident.

You need to rest.

I didn't fuckin' do anything okay?

Get this shit off me please.

- Sir, just calm down. - Whoa, whoa, whoa,

what is that, what is that?

Don't stick me with that shit.

Sir, we're trying to help you.

- Bitch no, get this fucking... - Trying to help you.

Cuffs off me.

I'm sorry, Emily.

You should be nicer to that one.

I know, I know.

She's just doing her job.

What happened to you?

It was freedom at first.

We didn't give a shit,

and we couldn't remember why we ever did.

We were rebels, outlaws even.

? I don't wanna sleep at the same time ?

? I don't call 911 for a petty crime ?

? I got a tattoo from a ?

You see, the point of the mosh pit

was to get to the front, that's it.

I always got to the front.

That's where you find the fuck ups, the dropouts,

the sinners, the cowboys,

the people still on the good side of a bad night.

? Doctor singing trees ?

? Turn out the light ?

I'm talking like real fucking rock and roll man.

We can do it, we totally could,

let's fucking do it, you know.

We need something new, something fresh,

with a lot of fucking noise, you know.

Again, if you know anybody with a bass

it's gonna be so fucking huge,

like I could play the fuck out of the bass,

but I just don't have the scratch right now.

Oh, and drums, we're gonna need a huge fucking set.

Lots of toms, lots of symbols, big fucking sound,

it's gonna be fucking beautiful man.

Slim was absolutely insane, you know,

a complete nihilistic and anarchist,

what ever you wanna call it,

at times he was downright evil.

But I loved his energy, he had a screw loose,

I mean his brain was fucked just like mine.

We were the same.

We even started a band but only ever played one gig.

One, two, one, two, three, four.

? I don't give a fuck yeah ?

? I just wanna fuck ?

? I don't give a fuck you ?

? I just wanna fuck ?

Who wants to come up here and fuck me?

Get the fuck off my stage.

Fucking fuck.

You'll never get another gig in this fucking city.

Society will strangle you if you let it.

I've been suffocating for too long

and finally I could breathe.

No alarm to wake up to,

nothing scheduled, no small talk,

no ties to anything and nothing to care for.

Free to explore, to do whatever the fuck I wanted.

Raleigh was our plug.

He could get you anything you could ever need.

Speed, DMT, coke, molly, zanies, atties,

ketamine, codeine, LSD, guns, girls, guys,

body organs, you name it.

I do have some fucking weed too if you wanna come down

and just sorta relax and mellow the fuck out.

You wouldn't know it by looking at him,

but Raleigh came from some serious money.

His parents live in one of those swanky suburbs

on the edge of the city

and that's where he whipped up his supply,

right under their noses.

I'm telling you, this is all the best shit

you can get around here.

Mommy and daddy thought their honor student

would be a chemist one day,

or maybe a lawyer.

Drugs and deaths were what really got him off though.

He wanted to be a mortician.

I guess that's why he spent all the time in the graveyard.

We kept him around because he cut us a deal

and made us laugh, but he never had to worry about

his next meal or a dry place to sleep.

He wasn't one of us.

Thanks man, yeah, fuck.

Come on you dumb fuckers.

Hello.

Fuck yeah man, thanks.

No, in your fucking little bicycle car.

What about you, you got any change?

You're on your fucking headphones

you god damn fucking cocksucker, fuck you.

Nice jeep, fucker.

Fuck.

It's amazing how quickly my appearance went to shit.

I almost didn't recognize myself.

I mostly saw hatred.

I hated what I'd become.

Fuck you.

It wasn't long before I was sick of the dumpster diving,

the begging for change, stealing shit.

I needed to get a job,

something that would give me enough change in my pocket

to get a fucking hamburger and a few cold beers.

So you have a car?

You got a phone number I can reach you at?

Is this your first taxi gig?

You know ah, ah, um.

The fuck does that mean?

Either you do or you don't.

How 'bout a home address?

But it's...

Are your license up to date?

Not exactly.

I don't know it off the top of my head,

I just moved into this new place

and I think they're doing some rezoning

or something like that.

I suspect an acquaintance of mine to have stolen it,

but I can't prove that and obviously

he's not going to admit it if he did steal it,

so I can't help you there.

I'm crashing with a friend of mine.

I don't actually have a functioning license at this time.

I'm in all sorts of shit.

Punk, metal, doom metal, stoner metal.

Is it suspended?

Indi rock, new rock, new wave, no wave, chill wave,

I mean you name it, I'm into it man.

How the fuck are you gonna deliver pizzas

if you don't have a car?

How the hell are you gonna drive

a cab around here without a license?

Fuck it, can you start now?

What the hell is this, what are you doing here?

There's a line.

Yeah man, I was just doing some product testing,

a little bit of market research.

Ah, what?

When do I get a break?

You know what, this isn't gonna work out,

get the fuck out of here.

What the fuck are you looking at?

Woo.

It's like a fucking race around here,

it looks so fucking crazy man.

Oh yo, hey, hey man, can I get a butt from you?

Do you have an extra cigarette?

I just need one.

Craig said he was gonna come down.

- Yeah sure. - But I don't think

he's gonna make it anymore man.

I just think it's just gonna me

just rolling around with this fucking ah,

yeah man, just trying to do shit man.

Hey dude, do you have any change on you

or anything like that?

- No, sorry bud. - No, no change,

no change at all,

- no dollar bills or something? - No.

- Not at all? - No sorry.

No, no, no, there's no cops around here man.

No man.

- There's not. - Sorry.

- Have a good night. - You fucking

piece of shit.

Thanks for the smoke ass whole.

Fucking thanks for the smoke, I got it.

I got what I needed.

I was tryna talk about my consciousness

and stuff like that 'cause I think

if we can just put it all together.

So she's like the virgin and she takes out a room

and that becomes the savior of mankind.

? The wheels on the bus go round and round ?

And I just couldn't...

You can do it, you can do it.

I'd never been so low.

After all that job shit,

it was time to put an end to the misery and embarrassment.

I was ready to go out, I really was.

Wasn't the first time I had tampered with the idea

of taking death into my own hands.

Depression chews you up and spits you out,

it gives you tunnel vision,

and all you see is the bullshit you can't control,

things that pin you down.

Moms face when she hears the news.

They said my brain was fucked,

they saw the scars on my wrist.

This wasn't that.

Lose time, something final,

time to rest, to quiet my mind,

to end the battle.

Okay, okay.

Give me 10.

10, aren't you good with usually three?

What gives Bug?

Just do your job.

Listen, if I hear you've been flippin' this shit,

like those K pins I sold you.

I'm not flippin' shit, they're for me, all right?

Only a coward takes 10 in a single dive Bug.

You trying to off yourself?

Holy shit you are.

Do you have the fucking pills or not?

Fucking chill out dude.

So, what are your plans post-mortem?

What the fuck does that mean?

Are you an organ donor?

- Jesus Christ. - I'm just saying,

that shit gets real expensive,

I can take care of your cadaver for you if you want.

My cadaver.

Yeah, you know, your corpse.

So long as your cool with me cutting you up

and poking around some shit.

You can make a pretty penny selling organs

on the black market these days.

Yeah, can ya?

You are a sick bastard, you know that don't you?

Is that a yes?

It's sort of like the ocean,

or out of space,

or hell, it's sort of like hell.

I had seen all the stone and brick and cement,

all the garbage and glass and endless piles of shit,

all the scum no one will look in the eyes.

It's all one thing now.

It's like one of those dreams

where the faster you try to run the slower you go.

Quicksand.

The louder you try and yell

the more stifled your cries are.

The depths of the ocean,

the farthest parts of space.

Hell is so much closer than I could of imagined.

Ah.

Joe, that's what...

No it wasn't, Joe okay, I know,

it's just, it's fine.

Raleigh, I knew I'd find you here.

- Oh, you little piece of shit. - It was a sham Bug.

I got hosed, it wasn't one of my batches,

my shit has been moving so fast

I had to pick up from the Koreans.

The shit was watered down.

They sold fucking sugar pills.

Everyone's out for blood.

How do you think I feel?

How do I think you feel?

How do I think you feel Raleigh?

I don't give a fuck how you feel you stupid.

Fuck off.

I just tried to kill and I failed,

you know how embarrassing that is?

I feel like garbage.

- I've never been this hungover. - Hey.

Look at it this way man,

you've got a second chance at life here, you know?

This is like some divine intervention shit.

Fucking God touched you Bug.

Fuck God.

I just wanna die.

Okay.

Hey, hey, it takes a real kind of fuck up

to botch pulling the trigger,

and don't get me wrong, you're a fuck up,

so I'm gonna make this really clear here.

Get up.

Just squeeze.

Boo.

So Raleigh tells me you're tryna off yourself.

Raleigh's bent, the supplies counterfeit too,

don't go to him.

Just hold for a night would you?

There's this show down at the Doll House,

this band Nice Guys is playin',

and the last time they were there

the lead singer jumped from the rafters

into the pit, broke his shoulder

and nearly paralyzed himself,

which is pretty punk if you ask me.

And I also got some killer crank and some ecstasy.

? One sided coin ?

? It makes me flip ?

? Keeps me on edge ?

? He's on the edge ?

? Then with the brakes ?

? Then with the crowds ?

? They beat you down ?

? It threads our cheek ?

? Big money ?

? The brake sets in ?

? The wash comes up ?

? It pulls in threads ?

? Let's work on it ?

? Plastics and masks ?

? The selfish cracks ?

? Whispers and shouts ?

? The truth is out ?

? Judge full range, ain't no way ?

? To survive in the steely club, this city ?

? Go outside, it's all the same ?

? All that matters is the numbers at the end of the day ?

? I know what I got ?

? I know it ain't much ?

? I know it's okay to fall these days ?

? I don't think too hard ?

? I am not in charge ?

? I just wait in the back of the lot for my break ?

? Big money ?

? Big build dudes on this train ?

? You people I don't wanna meet ?

? Looks like they want this place for the test ?

? Every block in this whole damn city ?

? All alone but just for the piggies ?

? Waiting for the chance to pounce on me ?

? Big money ?

I didn't take you for the religious type.

I'm not really.

I went to church a lot as a kid,

I lived in this group home with Jesus freaks.

The whole bible thumping, cross facing the toilet kind.

Nothing bad ever happened on Sunday

so I guess it just kinda stuck with me.

What about you, hm?

What do you believe?

Nothing really.

I mean, we weren't religious growing up,

my mom was but that's about it.

Kid that lived next door to me though,

him and his family went to church every Sunday

and he ended up getting molested by his priest

- or something. - Geez.

He didn't tell anyone for years.

It was a big deal for a week or two

and then nothing, most people,

they didn't wanna believe it or they didn't care.

I saw it eat him up.

Fucking destroyed him, but,

they say that happens all the time,

priest screwing around with kids and stuff.

I don't know, that and a whole bunch of other things

made me pretty convince that religion is a scam.

Well, this crash is gonna suck.

I wish I had a joint to come down with.

Maybe I can help out with that.

I feel pretty good now though.

What about you?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

Mm-hmm.

That night I had it all.

Jenny was cool, she was like me.

There was this tightness in my chest,

some vacancy had been filled.

I know that people don't change,

but maybe parts of them do.

Something changed in me.

The highs were always really high,

and the lows always really low,

but this high felt different.

- Nothing? - Oh shit.

- You got it. - I did get it.

You hear that one before?

No.

I was just more evil than the devil and greater than God

or contradictory terms.

- Yes. - Woo.

Yes.

Yeah.

What a lovely time.

I'm so proud.

How many we got left?

I don't know.

I gave you one.

Yeah, thank you very much for that.

Bug?

What?

Come here.

It's Tina's brother.

What, the hooker?

Oh shit, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know this kid,

he's a fag.

Must've been the HIV caught up to him.

Shut the fuck up Slim.

Well it could've been.

It wasn't.

Fucking gross.

Just, must've took a hit too strong I guess.

Could've been anyone.

No, no, no, no, no, this kid was a junkie.

You didn't fucking know him.

Neither did you.

His sister hooks and he liked the needle in the cock.

Shut the hell up Slim.

Could've been anybody.

Don't be a baby.

Maybe it was a hot dose or something, I don't know.

Raleigh said that there

was some synthetic shit moving around.

No, no, no, that kid was a junkie,

he would've died from the needle eventually.

If he was a junkie then what are we, huh?

I'm not a junkie, you're a junkie.

I'll never be a slave to a substance.

I like to think of myself as a recreational user.

My ass, you're a speed freak.

So are you.

Well I'm not hooked, I'm just skimming.

Besides, those pills you guys get off of Raleigh

are way stronger than anything

that kid would've been able to shoot up.

Yeah, look at that.

- Bad ass. - It's pretty good, right?

Yeah, not bad.

We roasted in the putrid bubble of brick buildings

and side walks.

The pavement charred my edges.

Summer wasn't all bad though,

that's when the city came to life.

I like to start early to avoid the midday heat.

The days blended together,

and this one started out just like the rest.

Fletcher, what are you doing man?

This is glass, you got plastic here, all right?

This is glass, plastics go down there, okay?

See?

Oh, right at the deli, for Christ sakes.

Would you look at that.

This place stinks.

It reminds me of one time I was working for the CIA.

They had me in a basement, no windows, one desk,

tapping the phone conversations

of the families upstairs.

They weren't feeding their kids.

It was abuse, you know?

It'd been months, listening to phone calls.

It's patient work, let me tell ya.

And my wife, my wife,

she was gonna be in the films.

Those kids, they were so skinny before the feds came,

nearly burnt the house down.

My wife, she never wanted any kids.

She smells like daisies.

Just a few more of these bottles

and I'll be punching my ticket home.

She's in the films you know?

Yep, yep, you said that.

Well looks like you're all set Mr. Fletcher.

Two 25, you wouldn't be ripping me off

now would you Bug?

For real man, that's all you had, all right?

Plastics go down there,

so take the rest of these plastics

and go down there.

And you might wanna try hitting your spots

a little bit earlier

all right, there's the Korean dudes

I've been seeing around recently,

I think they're beating you to the punch, all right?

You're a good kid Bug.

See you tomorrow.

Fathers day at Paul park,

early with a couple of home runs in the second inning.

Maybe it's going up here in the sixth

and now we're all tied up.

Is that date right?

What, do you live under a rock?

Holy shit.

It's my fucking birthday today.

Congratulations.

All right.

Can I get one of those whiskey bottles?

Nah, the small one.

Thanks man.

So I look up at the sign and can't fucking believe it,

June 18th, today's my 21st birthday.

- Hey. - Yes.

Happy birthday Bug.

- Thanks. - Holy shit dude,

you're only 21?

Yeah, funny thing is I've been buying booze of that dude

for three years.

But I blew the last of my cash on this,

so I think lunch is gonna have to be on Eddie.

Oh man, just think about it dude,

21 years ago on this exact date

you are spit out of your mums twat.

That's fucking great.

- Yeah. - I'm just telling it

like it is man.

Everybody thinks childbirth is some kind

of fucking miracle, you ever fucking see one?

It's a brutal, painful, bloody mess.

It's worst than a fucking snuff film,

all for the sake of having some little bastard around,

24/7, shittin' and crying and chewing on your nipples.

That's why I'll never have one.

Yeah, people think babies are so pure too.

Yeah, like they come from above.

When most of the time,

they're the result of something absolutely

completely fucking meaningless.

I mean, my parents, they're not in love,

and they probably weren't when they made me.

We're the same as every other little scurrying rodent

on this skid, and we're here for the same reason, to die.

Yeah, and then?

And then, and then, and then what?

There is no and then, there is no after that,

we're born, we fuck, we live, we die, that's it.

No, what, do you think plants and fish

and bugs and rats and dogs have an afterlife?

I mean, they don't.

Look, we aren't special,

and if we aren't special, animals are fucked,

just frankly fucked.

The difference between the species

is that we're smarter, we are so much smarter,

so much smarter that at some point

we realized the best way to survive

is to convince ourselves that each and every one of us

is the most important breathing bastard

on a planet filled with unspeakable numbers of breathing...

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

watch where you're fucking

- going ass whole. - Take a shower shit bag.

Hey, come say that

- to my face. - Oh, you wanna make something

out of this, guy, get the fuck out of the car your swid.

- Pussy. - What the fuck?

Fucking people these days man, Jesus fucking Christ.

I mean, look at Tina's brother, right?

Someones kid, someones brother obviously,

where is he now?

Rotting away under a fucking bridge.

I mean face it, people don't care if one us lives or dies.

Well that is very grim Bug,

and spoken like a guy who's tryna off himself.

Are you tryna off yourself?

No.

Well, yeah, kinda, I mean, I was I guess.

Come on mother fucker.

What?

Hey Eddie, you got what I'm lookin' for today?

I thought you were gonna quit.

These things will kill you you know,

I don't want that to happen.

Oh, you're so sweet Eddie.

You know, one of these days someone's gonna come

walking right through that door.

I hope she's as cute as you.

But I hope she doesn't smoke,

those things will kill you you know.

I loved to take you on a date sometime Jenny,

you could come over my house,

my mom makes really good beef stew.

That sounds so nice Eddie,

but you know I'm kinda with Bug now, right?

He could come too, not Slim though,

'cause he's a piece of shit.

Hey Eddie, how's it going man?

Fine thanks, what are you guys get in to today?

It's Bug's birthday today.

Oh, happy birthday Bug.

You know, you share the same birthday as my cousin Mark,

he's a real piece of shit though.

Anyway, I got a little something for you.

You know, being your birthday and all.

One in four million odds to win the jackpot on that thing.

If it's a winner, don't forget who gave you this.

Okay Bug?

Who gave what to me Eddie?

I'm just kidding with you man,

and thanks, this is great.

Hey Eddie, how 'bout one for me?

Go to hell Slim.

I'm all ready there my dude.

You know, if you died, I'd care.

If you were cold and alone something, I'd go to sleep.

Hi.

Fucking dopey fucking, you stupid.

Get the fuck back here.

Fuck you.

God damn it, I'm gonna fucking kill you.

Gonna hit you so fucking hard your hair's gonna grow back.

Picking out a tombstone for yourself?

Very funny.

Thought you would've offed yourself by now, coward.

Where's my gun?

I hid it.

Where?

Somewhere safe.

It's in a safe place.

Well what happened, jam up on you or something?

No, it's just,

unforeseen circumstances.

Jenny?

Yeah, you know her?

Everyone knows her.

Listen man, I'm gonna save you some heartache

here all right, she's just well known.

Fuck off.

She's in for the dope man.

Just be careful, that's all I'm saying.

Speaking of dope.

Yes?

Well, do you have any or not?

Real shit or the Korean Tic Tac's you sold me last time?

You'll feel like you died and went to heaven.

This is brand new shit,

straight pharmaceuticals, uncut,

it's called Dilaudid, even stronger than Oxies.

Got ya.

Hey Raleigh.

Hey Jen.

It's Bug's birthday today.

No shit, happy birthday you son of a bitch.

Let's celebrate.

Oh, fuck yes.

We are broke though.

Course you are.

Although in light of a special someones

very special day, maybe you could hook us up.

Pretty please?

Only if I get to pop off with you dweebs.

Of course.

Yes, thank you very much.

To Bug's birthday.

To Bug's birthday.

Happy birthday.

? Happy birthday to you ?

? Happy birthday to you ?

? Happy birthday dear Steven ?

? Happy birthday to you ?

Make a wish and blow out the candle.

Yay.

Steven, what d'ya think?

It's awesome.

What were they like?

Who?

Your parents.

You said they were in love.

How did you know?

One time I ditched school,

came home early.

I didn't expect my dad to be there,

his car wasn't in the driveway,

but when I got in the house I could hear his voice

coming from the bedroom.

Then a woman laughing.

It wasn't my mom.

Did you confront him?

Well, did you tell your mom?

Probably should of.

Instead I just started fucking everything up, you know?

Mm-hmm.

At least you know your parents.

I never met mine.

One time in a foster home I broke this vase,

turned out it was like 200 years old.

Worth more than my life.

And my foster dad, he screamed at me,

and he said, you're just like your no good whore mother

who couldn't even afford an abortion.

So it's, it's something.

I think about my mom a lot.

She always saw the best in me.

Wish I'd been better for her.

When's the last time you saw her?

Three years ago today.

That's when I left.

What do you wanna do today Bug?

It's your special day.

I wanna go home.

So we're doing this again?

He's not coming back,

the sooner you accept that the better off we'll both be.

It's been three years god damn it.

What makes you think he's comin' back now?

Oh Christ Jo, for all we all know he might even be...

I'm just saying, this isn't helping anything.

We're you goin'?

I'm going to find my son.

Fine, but I'm drivin',

and we're not gonna stay out all night like last year.

Did that stuff help with the pain?

Yeah, but I need more.

Well, I'm gonna have wait another two hours

before I can give you another does.

I need it now.

What would you say your pain level is?

Eight or nine.

Okay, but you're gonna have take this one

with some food.

Fine.

So, chicken sandwich or salad?

Whatever works.

Salad it is then.

Should've gone with the chicken.

Have you ever had hospital food?

No.

Trust me, it doesn't matter.

What does matter, I got the extra dose.

There you go.

Thank you Emily.

You're up.

- I've never been. - Where?

Europe, never been, but I've heard it's nice.

It's beautiful.

You've been there?

Yeah, I did the last semester of my clinical in London.

That's cool.

Sorry for freaking out earlier.

No worries, I've seen worst.

The ER on a Friday night can be a pretty scary place.

Do you remember anything about the accident?

Yeah.

There's a chunk missing.

The driver, was he a friend?

No.

I'd like for you to be honest with me here.

It's important, we're tryna get in touch with his family.

Good luck with that.

Where is he, is he all right?

He passed an hour ago.

He's dead?

Yes.

He suffered severe trauma to the head

and it caused hemorrhaging to the brain, I'm sorry.

Any family we could contact?

Do you know where he lives?

I know where he slept.

Where's that?

You know Ringer Park?

Mm-hmm.

That's where he slept.

I see.

Is that where you sleep?

Yep.

How are you feeling?

Any pain?

This will help.

What is it?

This is a pain medication called Dilaudid.

It's lunch hour, you hungry?

Should try and eat something.

Chicken sandwich or salad?

It doesn't matter.

How far is your parents house from here?

It's at least 20 miles, I mean, we can't walk.

We could hitch.

Yeah, we could try to hitch,

we could end up just gettin' flipped off

on the side of the freeway all night.

No, I think train is the best bet.

Hey, hey man,

- just a little bit? - Nah, I'm sorry.

- Nothin'? - Yeah, well all right,

at this rate we're not gonna make it to Central.

Dude, we'll be fine all right?

It's like 15 stops.

It'll be fine, we don't make it to Central

we don't get fucking out of the city.

- It's 10 bucks... - Steve?

Steven Bugsby.

Do I know you?

Kyle.

We went to high school.

We got suspended together

- that time... - For setting up

Mr. Lafton's computer on top of the school.

- Holy shit. - Holy shit.

That was funny as hell.

Dude, I remember that.

My brother, you remember Cory?

He's a senior now and he was telling me

people are still talking about that shit.

How's the family?

They're good.

Smartest guy I know right here.

I would've failed English if it wasn't for him.

Hey Kyle, our van kind of broke down

a couple of blocks over, it's one of those old clunkers,

you know the type, you think you could spare

a couple of extra bucks for gas?

Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

Can any of you guys break a 20?

Fuck it.

Kyle fucking Windsor, holy shit,

who would've thought man, oh my god,

thank you, this is huge.

Don't mention it.

Well, I gotta get going,

but good luck with your car.

For sure.

Thanks Kyle.

Thanks Kyle.

There's your ticket home.

And then some, let's get loaded.

If you're gonna hang out here,

you gotta buy something.

Just give me a loosey and I'll be on my way.

I told you a million times,

I can't do that anymore, you can purchase a full pack

or none at all.

I wouldn't advise it though,

those things will kill you though.

I know that Eddie, that's why I only want one,

if I get a whole pack I'll smoke it all in an hour.

Oh, I got a birthday present for Bug,

he's out there with you right?

It's pulled beef stew my mum brought me to eat,

still hot, can you send him in.

We're a little busy right now Eddie,

but I'll let him know.

- Oh. - Oh hey Raleigh,

just the man we wanted to see,

you got any speed?

Yeah, but no more freebies for you tweekers.

You guys couldn't even afford one pill

with the change in that cup.

Where the fuck you get that?

Bug's got friends in high places.

Apparently.

All right, what can we get for 10 of these?

One for each of you.

Trust me, one is all you guys'll need.

This shit is heavy.

Here you go, hey.

And I'll even through in a little bit of weed

for the birthday boy.

You guys are gonna need it to keep your heads on straight.

Weed and speed, it's a match made in heaven Raleigh.

That's right, good night fuckers.

Good night.

All right.

What the fuck's the plan here,

where are we going?

I all ready told you man, it's 20 stops maybe,

15, I don't know, it's been a fucking long time

and I don't even know where we are bro.

Okay, cool, great, so we're hop on drugs.

Yeah, but we just gotta keep moving

'cause we're taking way too much freaking time.

We're fucking moving dude,

there's gotta be more trains than just the one train.

All right, all right, all right, all right.

Oh, fuck.

Hold it right there.

Evening.

That doesn't smell like tobacco smoke to me.

Oh, that's a good one man.

Hey, don't get flip with me.

Smoking marijuana in public is a criminal offense.

I could run the through you right now.

- Sorry man. - What, you fucking kidding.

It's illegal, I told ya.

- Yeah, all right. - Against the car over there,

all three of ya's, come on.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - We're just tryna get

- to the train. - Are you kidding me?

Up against the car now.

I said move.

Put your hands on the back of our head.

- All three of you. - Come on dude.

Put your hands on the back of your head.

- Smoking one fucking... - You too, on the left,

- you too. - Yeah.

Officer look, it was just a joint.

Just shut up huh.

You got ID on ya?

No.

No surprises there.

Put your hands in back.

- You're fucking kidding me. - Drop your hands.

Seriously, it was just...

Just keep your mouth shut.

Is this really fucking necessary dude?

Keep your mouth shut.

Look officer, all we're tryna do is get home, okay?

We've been walking all day, we're tryna get

- on the train... - Sure, sure, sure.

You just wanted to get home.

I'm serious.

Hey, hey, hey, that's my money man

- I need that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah,

- just keep keep your mouth... - I need it

- to get on the train. - Just turn around,

keep your mouth shut.

You got an ID?

No.

All right, put your hands down,

put your hands in back.

Look, I need that to get home, okay,

you can't just fucking rob me.

Just shut up.

You got an ID on ya?

I all ready said no.

Yeah, that's terrific,

it's like you don't even exist.

You're an absolute non-person without an ID.

You're just transients and vagrants and bums, that's all.

No goods.

You can't just fucking rob us dude.

Ah, just keep your mouth shut.

You needing a little help back there?

Fuck you.

Look man, I didn't even have any of that joint,

I don't even like weed, it gives me the heebs.

You weren't smoking when I came up to you?

No sir, I was not.

So if I gave you a drug test right now, you'd pass.

Yes sir, and I have my ID.

Let's see your ID.

Here it is, can you see, that's my face.

Fuck, god fuck.

You fucking rot.

Let's fucking roll.

You junkie bitch.

Oh shit.

Okay, here?

Yes, Mrs. O'Connell said

this is where she saw him.

She said she was sure it was Steven.

It was a few months ago though.

Excuse me.

Sir.

Yeah, yeah, could you come here please,

I promise you we won't take up too much of your time.

You wouldn't happen to be with the CIA now would ya?

What, no, no.

The Feds didn't send you?

- No. - Good.

'Cause I've told 'em a thousand times I'm retired,

got my own life now you know.

Bunch of bastard narcos, they didn't send you?

No.

We're looking for a young man, his name is Steven Bugsby,

he's a little shorter than you,

he's got long brown hair, he's 21.

He's our son.

Yeah you see, that could be a problem,

I haven't eaten anything all day.

It reminds me of the time I spent in Taiwan.

Three weeks with nothing to eat but rice cakes.

When I get that hungry

I have a tough time remembering my own name

let alone your sons.

Can't swing a meal,

plus I'm saving my money.

Flying out west going to see my wife.

She's in the films you know.

Yeah, here.

I suddenly feel my memories flooding back.

What'd you say your sons name was?

Hey.

Steve, hey, excuse me.

I'll suck your dick for 20 bucks.

Steven.

Steven?

Steven Bugsby.

Never heard of him.

We do girls too.

Please.

Geez, just get me out of here.

Okay, all right, all right.

It'll be the night of your life.

I can't be here again, no, no, not here,

no, no, not here.

Will you chill out, just sit the fuck down.

What the fuck is the matter with you?

He took all the speed pills back at the subway station.

All of 'em?

All of them.

I wanna go home, I wanna go home,

I wanna go home, I wanna go home,

I wanna go home.

All right, okay, here's what we do.

We hot wire a car, all right.

I saw a guy do it once, seems pretty easy,

you just gotta make sure you don't set off the alarm

when you get in the fucking car.

You don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

All right, well I don't see you coming up

with any brilliant ideas.

Look, why don't you go seduce some John.

Do the innocent

- school girl thing... - Hey Slim

- how bout you shut up. - Like you did with

the fucking, I'm just saying.

- Shut the your fucking mouth. - It's an easy way

to make a quick buck and you might even like it.

Shut your fucking mouth.

Shut up.

It's shut, it's fucking shut.

Where are you going?

Bug?

Pissed he took your pill?

Yes I'm pissed.

What the hell dude?

- What the fuck? - Shit.

Yeah, oh fuck.

I'm not gonna use it, obviously,

we're just gonna scare Eddie.

- No. - We're gonna get him

to give us some cash so we can get out of here.

No you're not, no.

I'm not gonna touch him, Jenny, I promise,

- I'm not gonna touch him. - No.

We'll be in and out.

- This is a bad idea. - We get the money

and we disappear.

Okay, but he needs to see you there.

Okay, you gotta be in there, okay,

he needs to see your face, okay Jenny?

Look, you gotta do this for me, okay?

It's gotta be the three of us, all right?

I need this, please?

I love you, okay.

Well say something.

I don't, please, we,

I don't think that you should...

Fuck, fuck it, we gotta go, let's go.

Go, what, no.

Bug.

I've got something for you,

I've got something for you too Eddie.

Open up the fucking register.

Don't just stand there looking at me Eddie,

open it, now, now.

The safe, open the safe.

You got the cash, let's go.

Open the fucking safe Eddie

or I'm gonna open up your fucking skull.

Come on.

I can't.

He doesn't have the key.

I swear to god Eddie, god damn it,

god damn you.

- Where's your keys? - What'd you do?

Where's your keys, where's you're keys Eddie?

Wake up.

Oh, fuck it, come on man, do it, finish him,

he's a god damn retard.

- What? - Finish him man,

do it, pull the fucking trigger.

Bug stop.

Come on man, just forget her, huh?

Come on man, no, no, no, come on.

Jenny, babe, come on, we gotta go.

Fuck you.

You're a liar, you said you weren't gonna hurt him,

I hate you.

I didn't mean to.

Dude, give me your fucking keys.

What the fuck?

- Here, it's yours. - Give me your fucking keys,

get the fuck out of here, get the fuck out of here.

Slim.

Jenny, come on, get in the car.

This isn't you.

Jenny, we gotta go, get in the fucking car.

I never wanna see you again.

No, no, no, no, no, come on man, come on,

are we doing this?

Come on, come on, fuck it, forget it.

Fuck.

Come on man, there he is, there he fucking is.

? Alone, electric glow ?

? Static snow, in the lobby ?

? No TV, magazines ?

? Waiting skin hides me ?

? From the sting, paper sheath ?

? Blood warm in the IV ?

We're close.

Yeah?

? The worry in the sheets ?

? All the nurses reassure me ?

? This will be quick and easy ?

That's it.

Mr. and Mrs. Bug, we're home..

? I'm not gonna feel a thing ?

? Lie and say it will be alright ?

? Like a baby falling asleep ?

? 'Cause I'm so good at hurting myself ?

? Pulse is slow ?

Got any extra smokes?

? Faint metronome on my left side ?

Uh-uh, this is my last one.

? Beneath my ?

You good? ? Protruding spine ?

Just give me a minute.

? You can hardly hear the knife ?

Can we go home now?

? Lying flat, blind on ?

? Covering my sunken eyes ?

? And the line rifle ?

? Aimed at my sick mind ?

? Ooh ?

? Oh ?

? 'Cause I'm so good at hurting myself ?

You aren't getting those things off.

Watch me.

You can barely walk, you're definitely not getting out

of this room by yourself.

Besides, they put an extra security guard on the wing.

Seems excessive for a stolen car.

How much of last night do you remember?

It was my birthday.

Things get a little out of control?

You could say that.

Why don't we give the escape plan a rest Steven?

Try and get some sleep.

Dr. Flores dial 118 please,

Dr. Flores please dial 118.

That's my son, Steven Bugsby.

Happy birthday.

Thanks.

How old?

21.

Hospital room on your 21st huh?

Yeah, it was not suppose to happen this way.

Life doesn't always go the way we expect.

Mrs. Bugsby?

Yes.

I'm your husbands nurse.

How's he doing.

He's fine, he's in stable condition

and we expect him to be released today or tomorrow.

Oh, thank god.

How are you doing?

I'm just fine.

They ran a few precautionary tests

and I'm cleared to go.

When can I see my Roger?

Is there anyone you can call,

let 'em know you're all right?

Friends?

Last two friends I had are gone.

Parents?

I don't really think they'd care.

Parents always care about their children.

You got kids?

A son.

What's he like?

Decent, just doesn't know it.

Mrs. Bugsby, you should know that your husband

is sharing a room with the young man

who was in the car that collided with yours.

Well I'm sure it was just an accident.

There's something else.

Investigating an armed robbery,

not a case of shoplifting like they initially thought.

Oh, you fucking pussy.

- Stop, cut it out. - What?

- Stop. - Okay.

Just under an hour ago

with the neighborhood market on Franklin street.

Been told the store clerk has been taken to the hospital

with serious injuries.

Three suspects ran...

Oh.

Come on, get in.

Get in.

Shortly after taking cash from the register,

according to police, two of the suspects

then stole a parked car outside.

One suspect is armed and possibly dangerous.

Yes, I want to report a break in.

Look at this huh.

Oh, wouldn't wanna get a smack off of that, would you, huh?

I gotta piss, man, where's the bathroom?

Down the hall to the left.

All right.

? Happy birthday to you ?

? Happy birthday to you ?

? Happy birthday dear Steven ?

? Happy birthday to you ?

Three hours.

Three hours.

Hey dad.

That's how long your mother waited up for ya.

Sat right over there watching the clock.

So sure that any minute you'd be home.

I'm not doing this right now.

Not doing it.

Where were you?

Out with some friends.

I was your age once, believe it or not.

Where were you?

Went to the movies.

You're a liar.

I can smell the booze on you from here.

It's one thing to miss your birthday dinner,

but suspended from school,

and now your on probation, you haven't slept here for days.

I learn from the best.

What is this shit you're doing to yourself?

What the hell's wrong with you?

Fuck you.

We know you're not taking your meds.

Go fuck yourself.

You talk like that to your father?

No, 'cause I'm gonna go to bed.

Oh, you're not going anywhere.

What is going on?

Stop it, both of you stop.

Get off me.

What the hell's the matter with you.

Get the fuck off me.

I know all about your girlfriend you piece of shit.

What is he talking about?

He's wasted, he's not making any god damn sense.

Get off him, stop.

Stop it, get away from him.

Get out of my house.

What?

Get the fuck out of my house,

you're not welcome here.

Fine.

No, Steven.

No.

You're not welcome here.

Don't move.

What, this is my house.

Take it easy kid.

I'm just visiting my parents, they weren't home

so I came in, this is where I grew up though, okay?

Let me see your hands?

This is my house.

Let me see your hands?

This is my house, this is my house, okay,

this is parents, my parents live here okay.

Let me see your hands.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, look at them,

you just gotta believe me, okay?

You just don't get it, you don't...

Calm down.

Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

look, look, this is my, this is me,

this is a photo of me when I was younger okay?

I'm telling you my parents live here,

this is my house, okay, I grew up here, see.

This is me, that's me.

All right, here's what we're gonna do.

Woo, ho, ho.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Oh, that's a nice squeal you fucking pig.

- Oh my god. - You fucked us.

What, what are you fucking talking about?

Oh my god.

We gotta, we gotta get...

Steven?

Hi Mrs. O'Connell.

- No, no. - All right, come on,

come on man, give me the keys, we gotta get outta here.

Give me the keys, I'm driving.

You're fucking loaded, you can't drive.

No, no, no, no, no, I'm fine man,

come on man, give me the keys.

Do you have any idea how much shit we're in

because of you?

This can't be happening.

- This isn't real. - Come on, come on,

come on.

Give me the keys, I am driving.

Come on, you fucking here you that?

You fucking hear that?

They're coming, they're coming,

now give me the keys.

Fuck you.

You give me the fucking keys man,

I will fucking waste you.

You fucking ass whole.

Get in the car.

Get in the car.

Why, why?

You fucking ruined everything.

God damn, can you hear yourself right now man?

Who the fuck are you anyway?

Me?

Oh I know who I am, I am a piece of shit,

you, you're some whiny little bitch crawling back

to mommy and daddy.

Yeah, well where are you gonna be in a year, huh?

What about five years?

You wanna pick food out of dumpsters your whole life?

You wanna be a fuck up all over again?

You wanna die under a fucking bridge?

Says the guy who's tryna fucking kill himself.

No, no, no, no I wanna live.

I wanna live.

I wanna live.

Roger wake up.

Roger.

911, what's your emergency?

We've been in a car accident.

You can come in now.

Do you need a moment?

No, no I'm okay.

It's okay.

Mum?

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

So did you get the book I sent you.

Mm-hmm.

How you liking it?

Um, hard to say, I just started it, so.

So you're keeping busy then?

I'm trying to, I mean, some days get really long.

How do you like your job?

Not bad, they got me working

in the laundry room now.

Good, that's good.

It's important to stay busy, stay out of your head.

You taking your medication?

- Yeah. - Every day?

Every day.

So, do you feel safe?

Is anyone giving you a hard time?

No, mom, it's not like that.

So what about your new cell mate,

what's he like?

I don't know, we don't really talk that much.

Well you should, make friends.

Wrap it up.

Well you know you can call us anytime,

day or night, just call.

Yeah, the guards might object to that,

but I'll tell 'em you said it's okay.

Oh, well thank you very much, appreciate that.

Happy birthday Steven.

Thanks.

You know we love you very much?

Love you guys too.

Steven, we'll be back next week.

Eddie, I hope you don't think

I'm tryna justify what happened.

I'm not.

Things got so out of control so fast.

That night, that wasn't me, I didn't recognize myself,

like watching everything unfold before my eyes,

from a distance, from somewhere else, helpless.

In here I have so much time to think,

it's all I do.

So many uncertainties, so much unknown.

I don't know anything about you Eddie.

Not really.

And I fucking hate that.

I hate that I hurt you.

Some days I hate myself, completely, to my core.

You have every right to share that sentiment.

You should.

Writing to you has helped me get through this.

This isn't an apology.

I don't deserve to ask you to forgive me,

you got caught in the crossfire of something

that has simmering beneath my skin my entire life.

I guess I just want you to understand.

Thank you for this.

Love you buddy.

Bug.

? So I broke a sweat ?

? I've bought some things that I sort of regret about now ?

? Broke your glasses, but it broke the ice ?

? You said that I was an asshole and I paid the price ?

You got a visitor.

Yeah thanks, my parents just left,

I all ready saw 'em.

No, you've got another visitor, come on.

? Broke my pace and ran out of time ?

? Sometimes I'm so full of shit that it should be a crime ?

? Broke a promise 'cause my car broke down ?

? Such a classic excuse it should be bronze by now ?

? Broke up, and I'm relieved somehow ?

? It's the end of the discussions ?

? That just go round and round ?

? And round, and round, and round, and round ?

? And round, and round it shouldn't have been anyway ?

? No way, no way, no way, that's right ?

? Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh no ?

? Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh no ?

? Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh no ?

? It was like everything was evidence of broken ?

? You're living on fancy wine ?

? You'll drink that turpentine ?

? You're starting conversations ?

? You don't even know the topic ?

? Go see what's on outside ?

? Don't let it pass by ?

? Feels so good to be wrong ?

? Then show me what's on ?

? On TV ?

? On TV ?

? On TV ?

? On TV ?

? Go see what's on outside ?

? Don't let it fall behind ?

? Feels so good to be wrong ?

? Then show me what's on ?

? On TV ?

? On TV ?

? On TV ?

? On TV ?

? On TV ?

? On TV ?

? On TV ?

? On TV ?