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1
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♪ Hold fast to the law
2
00:00:04,327 --> 00:00:08,559
♪ of the last cold tome
3
00:00:08,607 --> 00:00:12,122
♪ Where the earth of the truth
4
00:00:12,167 --> 00:00:17,116
♪ Lies thick upon the page
5
00:00:17,167 --> 00:00:20,079
♪ And the loam of faith
6
00:00:20,127 --> 00:00:22,641
♪ In the ink long fled,
7
00:00:22,687 --> 00:00:26,362
♪ From the drone of the nip flows on
8
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♪ To the last of the first depart
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♪ And the least of the past is dust
10
00:00:38,567 --> 00:00:41,206
♪ And the dust
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00:00:41,247 --> 00:00:45,877
♪ The dust is lost
12
00:00:48,007 --> 00:00:51,522
♪ Hold fast!
13
00:00:51,687 --> 00:00:54,565
♪ Gormenghast
14
00:00:57,487 --> 00:01:00,365
♪ Gormenghast ♪
15
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(Barquentine ) Poet. Day of Ancient.
Time of the twenty-third Earl...
16
00:01:38,287 --> 00:01:40,437
(Chuckles ) Did he?
17
00:01:43,567 --> 00:01:46,206
The reading of the Laureate's...
18
00:01:46,247 --> 00:01:49,523
ten-year meditation on...art!
19
00:01:54,287 --> 00:01:58,121
Damned art. Damned poetry.
Damned poetic ass.
20
00:01:58,167 --> 00:02:01,125
He won't have finished it.
He'll change it at the last minute!
21
00:02:01,167 --> 00:02:02,566
Ass!
22
00:02:02,607 --> 00:02:05,485
Don't worry, damned asswipe,
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00:02:05,527 --> 00:02:09,805
your assistant knows the ritual
of the poet off by heart.
24
00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:15,679
He'll do it for you,
like he does everything else.
25
00:02:21,287 --> 00:02:23,278
Excuse me, Lordship!
26
00:02:31,487 --> 00:02:34,923
Titus! Titus Groan!
This is no racetrack, young sir!
27
00:02:34,967 --> 00:02:39,757
I can ride in the castle between
eight and nine Monday morning.
28
00:02:39,807 --> 00:02:42,116
That's the rules,
Professor Bellgrove, sir.
29
00:02:42,167 --> 00:02:46,445
Well, quite, but no permission
to trample your old schoolmaster
30
00:02:46,487 --> 00:02:48,876
half to death, am I correct?
Yes, I am.
31
00:02:49,887 --> 00:02:51,605
You look pale, young Lordship.
32
00:02:51,647 --> 00:02:55,526
Are you all right? Been riding over
somebody's ghost, have you?
33
00:02:55,567 --> 00:02:57,842
There's no such a thing, sir!
34
00:02:57,887 --> 00:03:00,003
And punctuality, Titus.
35
00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:04,245
Tardiness is next to cleanliness.
And don't be late.
36
00:03:04,527 --> 00:03:07,166
They were floating
about 30 yards out.
37
00:03:07,207 --> 00:03:09,084
Here look. Two hats...
38
00:03:09,807 --> 00:03:10,956
and a letter.
39
00:03:20,607 --> 00:03:22,723
What do you make of that?
40
00:03:23,567 --> 00:03:29,676
No more fire. our lips are sealed.
our power is in water.
41
00:03:30,927 --> 00:03:32,440
Clarice and Cora.
44
00:03:38,327 --> 00:03:40,238
Good riddance, if you ask me.
45
00:04:04,447 --> 00:04:07,644
- Do you have a goat?
- A goat, Ladyship?
46
00:04:07,687 --> 00:04:09,040
Milk. For the cats.
47
00:04:09,087 --> 00:04:13,285
Ha! I see what you mean!
A goat? Have I got a goat?
48
00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:23,076
Ah, that's better.
49
00:04:23,127 --> 00:04:24,606
Bring my goat.
50
00:04:25,967 --> 00:04:27,320
Your goat?
51
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,597
The goat, man. Bring it.
52
00:04:31,607 --> 00:04:33,199
We haven't got a goat.
53
00:04:33,247 --> 00:04:36,717
I require service not sophistry.
Get my goat!
54
00:04:41,287 --> 00:04:44,836
I'm amazed, Ladyship.
Where are the traditions of service?
55
00:04:44,887 --> 00:04:48,846
- How old are you?
- Thirty-eight, madam.
56
00:04:48,887 --> 00:04:50,479
Sit down.
57
00:04:50,527 --> 00:04:51,721
Ladyship.
58
00:04:51,767 --> 00:04:54,964
How long
since we've seen each other?
59
00:04:55,007 --> 00:04:58,522
Er, five years, Madam.
60
00:04:58,567 --> 00:04:59,795
I've been thinking,
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00:04:59,847 --> 00:05:03,362
since the burning of the library
and the disappearance of my husband,
62
00:05:03,407 --> 00:05:06,717
things have been wrong.
For years, something uneasy.
63
00:05:06,767 --> 00:05:08,564
Do you feel it, Squallor?
64
00:05:08,607 --> 00:05:12,964
And now Clarice and Cora.
Bodies not found, not buried.
65
00:05:13,687 --> 00:05:16,155
Their note mentioned
a burning, Ladyship.
66
00:05:16,207 --> 00:05:18,118
Perhaps it was they who...
67
00:05:18,167 --> 00:05:19,805
Burned the Library?
68
00:05:19,847 --> 00:05:22,645
A Groan burn a Groan? Never!
69
00:05:23,327 --> 00:05:27,798
Made me think of it all again.
There is something among us.
70
00:05:27,847 --> 00:05:30,998
There is stench. I can smell it.
71
00:05:31,047 --> 00:05:33,766
Do you mean...
72
00:05:33,807 --> 00:05:35,638
rebellion, Ladyship?
73
00:05:35,687 --> 00:05:36,961
Rebellion?
74
00:05:37,887 --> 00:05:40,640
Who would dare
rebel against Gormenghast?
75
00:05:42,327 --> 00:05:43,316
Forgive me, madam.
76
00:05:43,367 --> 00:05:46,643
I want you to watch for me,
do you hear?
77
00:05:46,687 --> 00:05:50,282
If there is such a rebellion,
we shall find it.
78
00:05:50,327 --> 00:05:54,115
- Do you understand me, Squallor?
- I have no doubt, Ladyship.
79
00:05:56,367 --> 00:05:57,482
(Bleats )
80
00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:04,246
I found one, Doctor.
81
00:06:04,287 --> 00:06:06,278
Wrong sex, you idiot!
82
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:09,723
You bring the female goat, you fool.
83
00:06:09,767 --> 00:06:10,756
Female goat.
84
00:06:12,527 --> 00:06:14,119
Take it away.
85
00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:15,486
Yah!
86
00:06:23,287 --> 00:06:26,597
I have faith in you, Squallor,
I don't know why.
87
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:27,716
I'm honoured, madam.
88
00:06:27,767 --> 00:06:31,760
Mark my words. If this thing exists,
it shall be crushed.
89
00:06:31,807 --> 00:06:33,684
Steerpike!
90
00:06:36,607 --> 00:06:40,156
Steerpike, you're a pest!
Never where I need you.
91
00:06:40,207 --> 00:06:41,242
Yes, sir.
92
00:06:42,327 --> 00:06:47,321
And don't call me sir, if you
don't mean it, you obsequious rat!
93
00:06:47,367 --> 00:06:50,723
A double suicide and no bodies.
No bodies, no funeral.
94
00:06:50,767 --> 00:06:53,918
- Where are we then?!
- Burying their hats, sir.
95
00:06:53,967 --> 00:06:57,596
I'll wipe that grin off your clock,
damn slug!
96
00:06:57,647 --> 00:06:58,636
ouh!
97
00:06:58,687 --> 00:07:02,282
Get me corpses! And quick!
98
00:07:13,407 --> 00:07:18,879
As a matter of fact, I don't think
I will, Mr Secretary Barquentine,
99
00:07:18,927 --> 00:07:21,999
asswipe and shit-licker...sir.
100
00:07:25,567 --> 00:07:27,478
(Children's laughter)
101
00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:34,885
(Snores )
102
00:07:37,647 --> 00:07:39,046
Eh!
103
00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:46,243
Doggit! Is that really you behind
that mask of grime and ink?
104
00:07:46,287 --> 00:07:50,565
And if it is, are you carving
your name in your desk
105
00:07:50,607 --> 00:07:53,167
when you thought
your master was asleep?
106
00:07:53,207 --> 00:07:54,606
Yes, sir.
107
00:07:54,647 --> 00:07:58,242
Having a go at the whole thing,
were you, Doggit?
108
00:07:58,287 --> 00:08:00,642
only done
the first three letters, sir.
109
00:08:00,687 --> 00:08:03,440
Well, leave the second G
until later, boy.
110
00:08:03,487 --> 00:08:06,684
- The second G, sir?
- Yes, there are two Gs in...
111
00:08:06,727 --> 00:08:10,003
Dammit, don't you know
how to spell your name?!
112
00:08:10,047 --> 00:08:12,197
(Bell rings and children cheer)
113
00:08:12,247 --> 00:08:14,681
Come on. off you go. Shoo!
114
00:08:21,807 --> 00:08:24,002
It's break, young Lordship.
115
00:08:24,967 --> 00:08:26,798
Milk and a biscuit?
116
00:08:36,127 --> 00:08:40,917
Stop playing with your teeth,
Bellgrove, it's damn rude!
117
00:08:40,967 --> 00:08:42,446
I'm in pain, Mr Perch,
118
00:08:42,487 --> 00:08:45,877
and what have my teeth
got to do with you?
119
00:08:45,927 --> 00:08:50,443
You're a hoarder, you damn pedant!
Get them extracted!
120
00:08:50,487 --> 00:08:52,000
(All laugh)
121
00:08:52,047 --> 00:08:55,039
oh, poor old fangs!
122
00:08:55,087 --> 00:08:58,682
Fangs! Is that how
you consider me, Fluke? Canine!
123
00:08:58,727 --> 00:09:01,446
I'll remind you
that fifteen short years ago,
124
00:09:01,487 --> 00:09:04,923
I was considered for headmaster!
Yes, Fluke, headmaster!
125
00:09:04,967 --> 00:09:08,198
- Aaah!
- Pain doesn't exist, dear boy.
126
00:09:08,247 --> 00:09:11,557
It is merely an expression
of inner disturbance.
127
00:09:11,607 --> 00:09:15,361
The fact that you imagine it
in your teeth is interesting.
128
00:09:15,407 --> 00:09:18,080
Have you said something
you regret, lately?
129
00:09:18,127 --> 00:09:22,166
- Aaagh!
- Pain doesn't exist, dear boy.
130
00:09:22,207 --> 00:09:25,483
Perhaps we've put our foot
in it lately, have we?
131
00:09:25,527 --> 00:09:26,846
Death!
132
00:09:26,887 --> 00:09:30,004
I can hear it squeak. Here it comes!
133
00:09:30,047 --> 00:09:31,400
(Squeaking)
134
00:09:31,447 --> 00:09:34,678
Make way for Death!
Make way for Death!
135
00:09:34,727 --> 00:09:37,844
De'ath, man! De'ath! He has a name.
Show some respect!
136
00:09:37,887 --> 00:09:42,039
It's the Headmaster! Get out of it!
He's got something to say.
137
00:09:42,087 --> 00:09:43,600
A notice for you all.
138
00:09:43,647 --> 00:09:44,636
Uuh?
139
00:09:44,687 --> 00:09:49,761
oh, who are all these peo...ple?
140
00:09:49,807 --> 00:09:52,037
It's your staff, Headmaster.
141
00:09:52,087 --> 00:09:56,160
Shall I, shall I get Bellgrove
to read the edict?
142
00:09:56,207 --> 00:09:58,163
Why...not?
143
00:09:58,247 --> 00:10:01,523
oh, what an honour, Headmaster.
Thank you. An edict.
144
00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:04,081
Read it! Hurry up!
It's from Barquentine.
145
00:10:04,127 --> 00:10:05,924
Get your teeth into it, Bellgrove!
146
00:10:05,967 --> 00:10:09,243
Yes, can he understand
seven words in a row?
147
00:10:09,287 --> 00:10:11,005
Silence!
148
00:10:11,047 --> 00:10:12,446
Professor Bellgrove.
149
00:10:12,687 --> 00:10:16,566
Reference, Lord Titus, 77th Earl.
150
00:10:16,607 --> 00:10:18,757
I, being Secretary Barquentine,
151
00:10:18,807 --> 00:10:22,038
give notice to remind you
that no privileges of cast,
152
00:10:22,087 --> 00:10:25,079
class or title shall be afforded
the aforesaid lord,
153
00:10:25,127 --> 00:10:27,880
according to the iron-clad
precedents of Gormenghast.
154
00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:31,078
He shall be of the ordinary,
no more, no less,
155
00:10:31,127 --> 00:10:33,925
until his time
of reason and puberty.
156
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,765
Take note - you exist
to teach, not fawn.
157
00:10:36,807 --> 00:10:38,126
Fawn?
158
00:10:38,167 --> 00:10:40,886
Barquentine, you bastard bugger!
159
00:10:40,927 --> 00:10:42,519
Headmaster De'ath,
160
00:10:42,567 --> 00:10:47,641
I would have you impress upon your
staff the magnitude of their office,
161
00:10:47,687 --> 00:10:51,236
and in particular those who confuse
their calling with indolence.
162
00:10:51,287 --> 00:10:56,520
Signed as for Barquentine.
Steerpike. Steerpike?
163
00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:59,718
It's you, Bellgrove.
The whole damn thing's aimed at you!
164
00:10:59,767 --> 00:11:00,961
How dare you!
165
00:11:01,007 --> 00:11:04,204
Ah, but you teach His Lordship,
don't you?
166
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:08,479
Who did you say
all these people were?
167
00:11:08,527 --> 00:11:11,360
Nothing you need be concerned
with, Headmaster.
168
00:11:11,407 --> 00:11:13,762
out! out! Death's out!
169
00:11:18,287 --> 00:11:21,438
Steerpike, you bastard bugger!
170
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,118
(Coughing)
171
00:11:52,807 --> 00:11:54,240
It's worse!
172
00:11:55,247 --> 00:11:57,238
Three hundred dead and rising.
173
00:11:58,607 --> 00:12:00,882
And what a way to die!
174
00:12:00,927 --> 00:12:04,363
The fever! The boils! The blood!
175
00:12:04,407 --> 00:12:07,080
Most beg for the mercy of death.
176
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,924
What about Gertrude?
177
00:12:08,967 --> 00:12:11,037
She is quarantined like you.
178
00:12:11,087 --> 00:12:14,124
Are you saying
she's not even dead yet?
179
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,566
Not even ill?.
180
00:12:15,607 --> 00:12:19,646
I have heard Lady Fuchsia's looking
feverish, so there's hope yet.
181
00:12:19,687 --> 00:12:23,680
Surely the time for you to emerge
and claim your rightful power
182
00:12:23,727 --> 00:12:25,206
cannot be far away?
183
00:12:25,247 --> 00:12:27,602
We want some servants.
184
00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:31,162
If I knew they weren't infected,
I'd bring you a hundred,
185
00:12:31,207 --> 00:12:33,163
but what would be more tragic?
186
00:12:33,207 --> 00:12:38,361
To be struck down at the very moment
you were to mount your thrones?
187
00:12:38,407 --> 00:12:40,125
Are they ready?
188
00:12:41,727 --> 00:12:44,685
- We want to see them.
- Ladyships!
189
00:12:44,727 --> 00:12:47,639
I'm trying to keep the plague
from your door!
190
00:12:47,687 --> 00:12:51,726
How dare you
make these demands on me!
191
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,558
How dare you!
192
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,802
I won't tolerate it!
193
00:12:57,367 --> 00:12:59,562
Get under the carpet!
194
00:13:00,887 --> 00:13:03,640
Get under the carpet now!
195
00:13:06,007 --> 00:13:09,602
Get under it! or you'll get nothing!
196
00:13:09,647 --> 00:13:14,038
No servants! No crowns! No thrones!
197
00:13:14,087 --> 00:13:15,315
Nothing!
198
00:13:17,247 --> 00:13:19,442
Get under the carpet!
199
00:13:23,767 --> 00:13:24,836
Thank you.
200
00:13:24,927 --> 00:13:27,122
Now I shall continue
to protect you...
201
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,926
and return with provisions
by and by.
202
00:13:49,247 --> 00:13:52,284
(Clarice ) We could, couldn't we?
203
00:13:52,847 --> 00:13:55,919
(Cora ) We could do it together.
204
00:13:55,967 --> 00:14:00,563
(Clarice ) Next time he comes.
(Cora ) We could, couldn't we?
205
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,086
(Together) We could kill him.
206
00:14:04,007 --> 00:14:07,283
(Barquentine )
The ninth day of the month.
207
00:14:08,927 --> 00:14:10,645
The ninth, Mr Secretary...
208
00:14:10,687 --> 00:14:12,678
That's what I said.
209
00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,287
The egg should be blue, not red.
210
00:14:16,767 --> 00:14:19,918
The ninth, you dolt!
Didn't I say the ninth?
211
00:14:19,967 --> 00:14:23,039
The egg should be blue not red!
212
00:14:23,487 --> 00:14:27,560
In addition to your daily
scholastic duties, Lordship.
213
00:14:27,607 --> 00:14:29,279
Eleven o'clock,
214
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:33,957
release of the five hawks
from the north-east turret.
215
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:40,845
1:15, the Groaning of the Dungeon
with your sister, Lady Fuchsia.
216
00:14:42,487 --> 00:14:46,844
Four o'clock,
Blessing of the Meat Racks.
217
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:49,685
Five o'clock,
the Ceremony of the Laureate,
218
00:14:49,727 --> 00:14:52,605
the Reading of the Ten-year
Meditation on Art -
219
00:14:52,647 --> 00:14:54,444
most important, Lordship.
220
00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:56,885
(Bellgrove snoring)
221
00:14:57,967 --> 00:14:59,241
(Clock ticks )
222
00:15:23,887 --> 00:15:26,242
(Bell rings and boys cheer)
223
00:15:53,007 --> 00:15:55,475
Lesson...lesson over.
224
00:16:00,047 --> 00:16:01,844
Lordship, is that you?
225
00:16:01,887 --> 00:16:05,436
We must rehearse the Ceremony
of the Laureate...Come back!
226
00:16:06,287 --> 00:16:08,562
..the rigours of ancient learning...
227
00:16:09,687 --> 00:16:12,997
- Where's the boy?
- Boy, sir? What boy?
228
00:16:13,047 --> 00:16:16,835
Don't "what boy" me!
There was a boy in this corridor!
229
00:16:16,887 --> 00:16:18,639
With respect, Mr Secretary,
230
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:22,680
you are here confronted with the
greatest group of experts on boys.
231
00:16:22,727 --> 00:16:25,082
We know what a boy looks like...
232
00:16:25,127 --> 00:16:27,482
- What he had for dinner!
- If I may...
233
00:16:27,527 --> 00:16:29,677
Where's the sodding boy!
234
00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:31,319
Bugger the bastard!
235
00:16:31,367 --> 00:16:34,643
I apologise for the tone
of my colleague, Mr Secretary...
236
00:16:34,687 --> 00:16:36,678
But not necessarily his intention.
237
00:16:36,767 --> 00:16:39,804
- (Laughter)
- Poor old Fang!
238
00:16:41,127 --> 00:16:45,405
You have protected a boy
with insolence!
239
00:16:45,447 --> 00:16:48,405
If I may say, sir,
it was not I who...
240
00:16:48,447 --> 00:16:51,564
Let me just say, Bellgrove,
that this afternoon...
241
00:16:51,607 --> 00:16:54,167
is the Ceremony of the Laureate.
242
00:16:54,207 --> 00:16:59,042
If every boy, and I mean EVERY boy
is not there assembled,
243
00:16:59,087 --> 00:17:03,717
I will personally twist
your malodorous intestines
244
00:17:03,767 --> 00:17:06,156
around your brainless skull!
245
00:17:06,207 --> 00:17:08,402
Stand aside!
246
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:15,962
Titus? Titus?
247
00:17:16,127 --> 00:17:19,483
I know where you went, boy. Come on.
248
00:17:25,527 --> 00:17:26,880
Titus? Titus?
249
00:17:28,727 --> 00:17:31,480
Titus? Titus, come back!
250
00:17:31,527 --> 00:17:33,483
Lordship, please!
251
00:17:34,047 --> 00:17:37,835
It's the ceremony -
have you forgotten? Titus!
252
00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:43,565
oh, me an expert on boys?
253
00:17:43,607 --> 00:17:46,804
You're a silly old fool,
Professor Bellgrove!
254
00:18:15,967 --> 00:18:19,960
The Hall of Bright Carvings.
I must be near to the castle wall!
255
00:18:35,367 --> 00:18:36,880
Ahh.
256
00:19:12,127 --> 00:19:13,526
out!
257
00:19:15,327 --> 00:19:16,999
I'm out of it!
258
00:19:53,887 --> 00:19:56,879
All boys ready for the Day
of the Laureate, Headmaster.
259
00:19:56,927 --> 00:19:59,760
Barquentine wants them counted.
260
00:20:04,327 --> 00:20:05,316
Is he asleep?
261
00:20:05,367 --> 00:20:07,927
Famous for somnolent awareness, sir.
262
00:20:11,087 --> 00:20:15,444
(Slagg) once a kitchen slug,
always a kitchen slug.
263
00:20:17,247 --> 00:20:19,397
ALL boys, Headmaster!
264
00:20:19,447 --> 00:20:22,086
Every single one of them!
265
00:20:22,167 --> 00:20:24,158
(Slagg) Drainage! Ha ha ha!
266
00:20:30,167 --> 00:20:31,759
(Snoring)
267
00:20:33,767 --> 00:20:35,200
All clear!
268
00:20:39,247 --> 00:20:40,362
(All) Yes!
269
00:20:47,727 --> 00:20:48,876
All clear!
270
00:20:51,967 --> 00:20:52,956
(All) Yes!
271
00:20:57,287 --> 00:20:58,402
All clear!
272
00:21:01,047 --> 00:21:03,038
Look out! It's the headmaster!
273
00:21:03,607 --> 00:21:05,802
Look out! Death is coming!
274
00:21:06,287 --> 00:21:09,404
Head count! Secretary Barquentine
has ordered a head count!
275
00:21:09,447 --> 00:21:11,039
All boys to be counted!
276
00:21:11,087 --> 00:21:12,998
The headmaster!
277
00:21:15,247 --> 00:21:16,236
Ahh!
278
00:21:16,967 --> 00:21:18,241
Headmaster!
279
00:21:24,727 --> 00:21:26,922
oh, my goodness!
280
00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:29,125
Uh? What? What?
281
00:21:32,087 --> 00:21:33,486
What happened?
282
00:21:33,527 --> 00:21:35,119
What?
283
00:21:35,167 --> 00:21:36,441
Asleep?
284
00:21:36,487 --> 00:21:39,559
Are you accusing me
of dereliction of duty?
285
00:21:39,607 --> 00:21:41,598
I'll have you retract those words!
286
00:21:41,647 --> 00:21:44,923
I was cogitating a particularly deep
problem on the nature of...
287
00:21:44,967 --> 00:21:46,685
ambition, as it happens.
288
00:21:46,727 --> 00:21:50,879
Besides what were you all doing
in my inner sanctum?
289
00:21:50,927 --> 00:21:52,406
En masse, may I add.
290
00:21:52,447 --> 00:21:56,360
It's the young Earl, sir.
He's gone missing.
291
00:21:56,407 --> 00:21:59,524
Supposed to be in your class,
wasn't he?
292
00:21:59,567 --> 00:22:04,038
My class? You mean he wasn't?
oh, bless my soul.
293
00:22:04,087 --> 00:22:05,998
What do you suggest we do?
294
00:22:06,047 --> 00:22:11,644
I? Suggest? B-b-b...w-why should it
be I who does the suggesting?
295
00:22:11,687 --> 00:22:15,043
Stupid bugger.
Doesn't get it, does he?
296
00:22:15,087 --> 00:22:18,079
Headmaster, what are we going to do?
297
00:22:18,127 --> 00:22:19,606
Headmaster?
298
00:22:19,647 --> 00:22:23,925
The previous, if he could be said
to have existed at all,
299
00:22:23,967 --> 00:22:26,527
now, without any doubt, doesn't.
300
00:22:26,567 --> 00:22:30,242
And as the most senior member
of staff, Bellgrove,
301
00:22:30,287 --> 00:22:32,642
whatever your qualifications,
302
00:22:32,687 --> 00:22:35,247
the burden now falls on you.
303
00:22:35,287 --> 00:22:36,720
Me?
304
00:22:36,767 --> 00:22:39,520
Head...head...headmaster?
305
00:22:40,567 --> 00:22:45,402
I... What do you mean,
whatever my qualifications? Upstart!
306
00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:46,516
Sluggard!
307
00:22:46,567 --> 00:22:50,685
And you can stop that, Fluke!
Your wheezing sets my teeth on edge.
308
00:22:50,727 --> 00:22:54,402
Yes, things are going to change
around here, you know.
309
00:22:54,447 --> 00:22:58,440
A new order has begun
and the first thing you will all do,
310
00:22:58,487 --> 00:23:01,126
is LISTEN to your new headmaster!
311
00:23:02,487 --> 00:23:04,159
out with it, then.
312
00:23:04,207 --> 00:23:07,358
- out with what, Mule?
- The Earl, tosspot!
313
00:23:07,407 --> 00:23:10,240
The Earl?. He's gone missing!
What do we do?
314
00:23:10,287 --> 00:23:13,199
Calm! We stay calm, gentlemen.
Your headmaster is here.
315
00:23:13,247 --> 00:23:16,239
Authority at last... Search!
316
00:23:16,287 --> 00:23:19,040
Search for him! That's what we do.
Search parties!
317
00:23:19,087 --> 00:23:23,319
Never fear, gentlemen, the Earl
shall be found, and I, Bellgrove,
318
00:23:23,367 --> 00:23:24,766
shall find him!
319
00:24:01,487 --> 00:24:05,924
Titus, she will
be your little sister.
320
00:24:05,967 --> 00:24:08,527
And you'll love her.
321
00:24:19,207 --> 00:24:21,243
No, wait! Come back!
322
00:24:24,487 --> 00:24:27,285
Wait! I know you!
I won't hurt you! Wait!
323
00:24:33,327 --> 00:24:36,080
Come on! Come on!
324
00:24:38,447 --> 00:24:41,120
Grrr!
325
00:24:41,167 --> 00:24:44,159
Well, where is he?
326
00:24:44,207 --> 00:24:49,520
Mr Secretary, I have risen in my
profession, and as headmaster
327
00:24:49,567 --> 00:24:53,446
I'd be grateful if you did not
address me in such tones.
328
00:24:53,487 --> 00:24:57,002
Shut-up,
you useless, elongated fart!
329
00:24:57,727 --> 00:25:01,686
I'm damned if I'll see traditions
of a thousand years RUINED...
330
00:25:01,727 --> 00:25:03,240
by some damn, little...
331
00:25:03,287 --> 00:25:06,563
- Little WHAT?
- Earl, madam, little Earl.
332
00:25:10,967 --> 00:25:12,400
Where is he?
333
00:25:12,447 --> 00:25:14,836
No sign, Mr Secretary, I'm afraid.
334
00:25:16,247 --> 00:25:19,717
We'll do it without him!
Pick a boy - any boy!
335
00:25:19,767 --> 00:25:22,725
Put the ribbon in his hair,
stand him there,
336
00:25:22,767 --> 00:25:27,522
and when I say tell him to give
the Laureate his idiot poem.
337
00:25:27,567 --> 00:25:31,321
Well, don't sit there like
some turd-struck grub! Do IT!
338
00:25:31,367 --> 00:25:32,436
Doggit!
339
00:25:32,487 --> 00:25:35,877
- Who, sir? Me, sir?
- Yes, come on. Hold this.
340
00:25:35,927 --> 00:25:37,121
Stand still, come on.
341
00:25:37,167 --> 00:25:39,237
Find him, piddlebrain.
342
00:25:40,007 --> 00:25:44,523
Earl or no Earl, I'll teach him to
flout the traditions of this place!
343
00:25:44,567 --> 00:25:48,958
There we are. Now, look lively,
over there. Go, go, go. Take it up.
344
00:25:49,047 --> 00:25:54,485
Don't show off, Doggit! Come on, you
ass of a child - up the steps, boy!
345
00:25:57,967 --> 00:26:00,959
oh, no! No! My odes! My work!
346
00:26:01,007 --> 00:26:02,076
Ten years!
347
00:26:02,127 --> 00:26:05,676
Ten years of crap, no doubt!
Leave it! Leave it!
348
00:26:07,607 --> 00:26:11,441
Damn His Lordship! Damn him! Damn!
349
00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:13,796
Damn! Where is he?
350
00:26:13,847 --> 00:26:17,396
Where - in - hell - is he?
351
00:26:19,367 --> 00:26:21,119
I'm lost.
352
00:26:27,447 --> 00:26:29,085
Where are you?
353
00:26:47,287 --> 00:26:48,845
Who are you?
354
00:26:51,447 --> 00:26:52,846
Flay.
355
00:26:52,887 --> 00:26:55,845
I've heard of you, Mr Flay.
356
00:26:55,887 --> 00:26:58,196
You were my father's servant.
357
00:27:02,127 --> 00:27:04,197
Where is this?
358
00:27:04,247 --> 00:27:06,397
It's my home, Lordship.
359
00:27:07,847 --> 00:27:10,077
Are you ill?.
360
00:27:10,127 --> 00:27:13,642
Not ill, boy... Banished.
361
00:27:13,687 --> 00:27:15,518
Banished?
362
00:27:15,567 --> 00:27:17,046
Why?
363
00:27:20,447 --> 00:27:23,280
Knew you right away, Lordship.
364
00:27:24,167 --> 00:27:25,520
The eyes.
365
00:27:26,567 --> 00:27:30,242
Eat, rabbit? I snare, see?
366
00:27:31,487 --> 00:27:33,603
New life.
367
00:27:33,647 --> 00:27:37,640
Look after Flay. That's it.
368
00:27:40,487 --> 00:27:41,966
Duty gone.
369
00:27:43,767 --> 00:27:45,803
I'm very sorry, Mr Flay.
370
00:27:47,847 --> 00:27:51,726
Mr Flay, I saw something
in a forest of stone trees.
371
00:27:51,767 --> 00:27:55,203
- She was on a branch.
- She? Small thing? Fast?
372
00:27:55,247 --> 00:27:58,876
- She moved like lightning, Mr Flay.
- Don't go near her!
373
00:27:58,927 --> 00:28:03,045
Why, Mr Flay? She seemed to me
very free and easy.
374
00:28:03,087 --> 00:28:05,078
Leave her! Free!
375
00:28:05,127 --> 00:28:07,482
Duty, Lordship.
376
00:28:07,767 --> 00:28:11,476
Ancient duty. All there is.
377
00:28:12,487 --> 00:28:15,479
- Your father said.
- I never saw my father.
378
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:18,917
You did, boy. You saw him.
379
00:28:20,007 --> 00:28:21,406
What was he like?
380
00:28:21,447 --> 00:28:24,598
Earl of Gormenghast.
381
00:28:24,647 --> 00:28:26,160
Did he love me?
382
00:28:30,607 --> 00:28:33,599
Why would he say
leave the girl alone?
383
00:28:33,647 --> 00:28:35,956
Not girl! Wild thing!
384
00:28:36,007 --> 00:28:41,684
Comes from Carvers. Steals from own.
Not of the stones.
385
00:28:43,207 --> 00:28:46,085
Bad, Lordship, bad.
386
00:28:48,207 --> 00:28:49,765
Sleep.
387
00:28:49,807 --> 00:28:52,082
Take you back.
388
00:28:53,727 --> 00:28:54,716
Eat.
389
00:29:08,807 --> 00:29:11,002
I like you very much, Mr Flay.
390
00:29:14,207 --> 00:29:18,439
This whelp has searched.
No sign, Your Ladyship.
391
00:29:18,487 --> 00:29:21,843
Then search again! And this time
you'll succeed, Barquentine,
392
00:29:21,887 --> 00:29:24,560
or I'll have your head on a spike!
393
00:29:24,607 --> 00:29:25,676
Yes, Madam.
394
00:29:27,327 --> 00:29:30,683
He turned up in my room
ten minutes ago.
395
00:29:30,727 --> 00:29:34,163
Mr Flay brought me back.
Why was he banished, Mother?
396
00:29:34,207 --> 00:29:35,526
I know no Flay.
397
00:29:35,567 --> 00:29:38,877
- Mother...
- I know no Flay!
398
00:29:38,927 --> 00:29:41,680
What do you do with him,
Mr Secretary?
399
00:29:41,727 --> 00:29:43,922
What can be done? He's gone.
400
00:29:43,967 --> 00:29:47,039
A faithful servant.
We don't have many.
401
00:29:47,127 --> 00:29:50,403
The boy!
What do you do with His Lordship?
402
00:29:50,447 --> 00:29:55,123
He ran. What's his punishment?
403
00:29:55,167 --> 00:29:59,160
In you go, young sir. You brought it
on your own head, remember.
404
00:30:00,767 --> 00:30:03,486
Use the time to think.
405
00:30:06,967 --> 00:30:08,320
Banished.
406
00:30:21,647 --> 00:30:25,799
(Fuchsia ) Six for searching,
seven for heaven, eight for aching.
407
00:30:27,287 --> 00:30:28,276
Ahh!
408
00:30:34,047 --> 00:30:37,084
Nine for nothing, ten for less...
409
00:30:37,527 --> 00:30:38,755
Lady Fuchsia,
410
00:30:39,807 --> 00:30:41,206
may I join you?
411
00:30:41,247 --> 00:30:43,044
What do you want?
412
00:30:43,087 --> 00:30:47,000
Just to walk with you. If it would
please you. Nothing else.
413
00:30:47,407 --> 00:30:50,843
The wood is free.
I can't stop you, can I?
414
00:30:50,887 --> 00:30:53,560
You can walk behind me, if you like.
415
00:30:58,407 --> 00:31:00,716
Nothing is free, Lady Fuchsia.
416
00:31:00,767 --> 00:31:03,725
You said the wood is free.
417
00:31:03,767 --> 00:31:06,918
I don't believe anything is free,
except dreams.
418
00:31:06,967 --> 00:31:08,923
What do you know of dreams?
419
00:31:08,967 --> 00:31:14,325
We all dream. I dream of equality,
as a matter of fact.
420
00:31:14,367 --> 00:31:19,487
I believe there should be no poor,
no rich, no strong or weak.
421
00:31:20,567 --> 00:31:22,558
Equality is everything,...
422
00:31:22,607 --> 00:31:25,075
don't you think, Lady Fuchsia?
423
00:31:28,047 --> 00:31:30,038
I wouldn't know anything about it.
424
00:31:35,847 --> 00:31:37,644
Don't you think it's wrong...
425
00:31:37,687 --> 00:31:41,760
if some people starve and other
people have so much they waste it?
426
00:31:42,847 --> 00:31:46,237
Don't you think the brave
and the skilful should be rewarded?
427
00:31:46,287 --> 00:31:49,245
Don't you think talent
is as important as wealth?
428
00:31:49,647 --> 00:31:51,046
It's raining.
429
00:31:51,887 --> 00:31:55,277
Don't you think cruelty and greed
should be stopped for good?
430
00:31:57,247 --> 00:31:58,441
I'm getting wet.
431
00:32:03,287 --> 00:32:06,484
No! I'm getting soaked!
432
00:32:09,727 --> 00:32:11,718
No, Lady Fuchsia! Not that way!
433
00:32:13,567 --> 00:32:15,205
Aaah!
434
00:32:15,247 --> 00:32:16,919
Lady Fuchsia!
435
00:32:19,007 --> 00:32:20,440
Lady Fuchsia!
436
00:32:38,367 --> 00:32:39,959
Where does it hurt?
437
00:32:40,007 --> 00:32:41,201
I'm all right.
438
00:32:41,247 --> 00:32:43,158
Don't be a hero.
439
00:32:43,207 --> 00:32:46,995
I know you're brave. I want to know
exactly where it hurts.
440
00:32:49,207 --> 00:32:52,563
It's my leg - I'm cold.
441
00:32:56,127 --> 00:32:58,641
Gently, gently. Come on. Come on.
442
00:33:00,207 --> 00:33:02,482
Head wound, doctor.
Leg might be broken!
443
00:33:02,527 --> 00:33:05,917
Show me, quickly. Fetch men
and a stretcher. I'll get my bag.
444
00:33:05,967 --> 00:33:07,923
Stay still! Don't move.
445
00:33:09,247 --> 00:33:10,236
Perfect.
446
00:33:11,727 --> 00:33:13,240
You are magnificent.
447
00:33:13,287 --> 00:33:14,845
Why, thank you, madam.
448
00:33:14,887 --> 00:33:16,400
At your service.
449
00:33:17,967 --> 00:33:20,322
At my service...
450
00:33:20,367 --> 00:33:22,562
oh...
451
00:33:23,967 --> 00:33:26,959
Do try not to jolt her!
Steady! Steady there!
452
00:33:27,007 --> 00:33:28,520
This is no ordinary cargo!
453
00:33:28,567 --> 00:33:31,479
(Slagg) oh, my precious!
My precious!
454
00:33:31,807 --> 00:33:34,480
Not you, kitchen boy!
455
00:33:46,487 --> 00:33:49,126
Life is amusing, ISN'T IT?
456
00:33:53,807 --> 00:33:56,241
Not a bone in the least broken.
457
00:33:56,287 --> 00:33:58,801
Anatomically quite sound,
Your Ladyship.
458
00:33:58,847 --> 00:34:00,041
Where's Steerpike?
459
00:34:00,087 --> 00:34:03,318
You don't want to see
that horrid thing, do you?
460
00:34:03,367 --> 00:34:05,323
No. Not at all.
461
00:34:13,247 --> 00:34:15,966
I hate them! I hate them!
462
00:34:16,007 --> 00:34:17,759
Who, my agitato sister?
463
00:34:17,807 --> 00:34:21,402
oh, why do you never listen to me?
464
00:34:21,727 --> 00:34:22,921
Flesh of my flesh...
465
00:34:22,967 --> 00:34:26,243
to cut me would be to carve
at the very marrow of yourself!
466
00:34:26,287 --> 00:34:28,278
Wouldn't an envelope
be more appropriate?
467
00:34:28,327 --> 00:34:30,318
Why should I be punished like this?
468
00:34:30,367 --> 00:34:32,927
Am I without charm?
or grace? or intellect?
469
00:34:32,967 --> 00:34:35,800
A bulging bag of all three,
my talented Tyro.
470
00:34:35,847 --> 00:34:38,281
Then why aren't
any advances made to me?
471
00:34:38,327 --> 00:34:39,885
Are you speaking financially?
472
00:34:39,927 --> 00:34:43,681
No, Alfred, I am not,
and well you know it!
473
00:34:43,727 --> 00:34:45,877
I mean what's wrong with your sex?
474
00:34:45,927 --> 00:34:50,125
Can't they see my neck, my hair?
I move well, don't I?
475
00:34:50,167 --> 00:34:51,885
Can't they see my carriage?
476
00:34:51,927 --> 00:34:55,522
You are too powerful, sweet white of
egg, that is the unpalatable truth.
477
00:34:55,567 --> 00:34:59,003
I'm sorry to say,
but that carriage, as you put it,
478
00:34:59,047 --> 00:35:02,164
super-charged as it is,
terrifies them, my spasmic one.
479
00:35:02,207 --> 00:35:09,079
I hate them! Men! Blind, stupid,
clumsy, horrible, vulgar things!
480
00:35:09,127 --> 00:35:12,085
And you are one of them! Aaah!
481
00:35:12,127 --> 00:35:16,006
- Irma, dear!
- I'm going to have a party!
482
00:35:16,047 --> 00:35:19,039
Bodily functions
are nothing to be ashamed of.
483
00:35:19,087 --> 00:35:22,636
A party, Alfred. I...
Irma Prunesquallor, this very Irma,
484
00:35:22,687 --> 00:35:25,076
oh, can we have one, Alfred?
485
00:35:25,127 --> 00:35:27,595
Are you the type to give a party?
Indeed, are you...
486
00:35:27,647 --> 00:35:30,366
the type to go to one?
But I see you are determined.
487
00:35:30,407 --> 00:35:31,999
May I have the knife?
488
00:35:32,047 --> 00:35:33,924
You're going to be the host.
489
00:35:33,967 --> 00:35:36,606
Have I told you,
I'm thinking of marriage?
490
00:35:36,647 --> 00:35:37,716
- To one of those you hate?
- Alfred!
491
00:35:37,767 --> 00:35:40,759
We'll find just the man,
my avenging angel!
492
00:35:40,807 --> 00:35:42,957
Who to invite? What to wear?
493
00:35:43,007 --> 00:35:44,804
That's simple. Evening dress.
494
00:35:44,847 --> 00:35:47,600
Such things can be cruel,
my fashionato.
495
00:35:47,647 --> 00:35:49,922
Few ladies have such
resplendent gowns.
496
00:35:49,967 --> 00:35:52,720
Who cares? There won't be any women.
497
00:35:52,767 --> 00:35:54,086
No ladies?
498
00:35:54,127 --> 00:35:57,085
I must be alone, Alfred.
With them. The male.
499
00:35:57,127 --> 00:35:59,960
I see, and who might they be,
these rams,
500
00:36:00,007 --> 00:36:02,396
these tomcats, these bulls,
oh, thicker than water?
501
00:36:02,447 --> 00:36:05,837
- A gathering of 40.
- 40 men.
502
00:36:05,887 --> 00:36:07,684
It's my last chance, Alfred!
503
00:36:07,727 --> 00:36:10,719
Listen to me, Irma, dear,
listen to an affectionate brother.
504
00:36:10,767 --> 00:36:15,238
In a smaller party you'll find
more time to size up those present.
505
00:36:15,287 --> 00:36:16,766
- 30?
- A dozen?
506
00:36:16,807 --> 00:36:18,445
20, Alfred, don't argue!
507
00:36:18,487 --> 00:36:22,400
I'm merely trying to put myself
in your place, dear! Takes effort!
508
00:36:22,447 --> 00:36:26,235
I can't do it. Any idea
who this gallant score is?
509
00:36:28,047 --> 00:36:29,639
oh, the professors!
510
00:36:31,567 --> 00:36:34,957
oh, why didn't I think of it before?
511
00:36:35,007 --> 00:36:37,680
And it shall be called...a soiree.
512
00:36:37,727 --> 00:36:42,596
Rams, soirees, professors. Are not
those terms mutually exclusive?
513
00:36:42,647 --> 00:36:45,161
I shall issue invitations
in blue and gold.
514
00:36:45,207 --> 00:36:47,675
We shall soiree in ten days, Alfred.
515
00:36:47,727 --> 00:36:49,718
- oh, Lord.
- In ten days time...
516
00:36:49,767 --> 00:36:53,203
a man of learning
will be mine to keep!
517
00:36:53,247 --> 00:36:58,275
I shall understand him, administer
to him and keep him clean!
518
00:36:58,327 --> 00:37:00,682
Irma, my dear, do you not think...?
519
00:37:00,727 --> 00:37:06,723
No, Alfred, I don't think! Thought
is for mortals! I am a WoMAN!
520
00:37:09,647 --> 00:37:12,002
An invitation...
from Miss Prunesquallor.
521
00:37:12,047 --> 00:37:14,003
She has invited us.
522
00:37:14,047 --> 00:37:15,036
(Fluke ) Ha ha ha!
523
00:37:15,087 --> 00:37:19,126
Shut up, Fluke. This is a damn
crisis! Nothing less.
524
00:37:19,167 --> 00:37:23,160
Crisis! Stupid bastard! How long
is it since you've seen a woman?
525
00:37:23,207 --> 00:37:27,485
And how long is it since you have
or have not, Professor Mule?
526
00:37:27,527 --> 00:37:32,760
She wants a husband.
Long-necked Irma wants a husband.
527
00:37:35,167 --> 00:37:39,240
No, no, gentlemen, please! Please!
I will not have a ladies name...
528
00:37:39,287 --> 00:37:43,075
oh, bloody bugger! It's him!
She wants him!
529
00:37:43,127 --> 00:37:47,325
oh, no... oh, yes!
530
00:37:47,367 --> 00:37:50,325
Gentlemen, please! Stop it at once!
Nonsense! I...I...
531
00:37:50,367 --> 00:37:54,042
It's no way to talk of a lady
or a headmaster!
532
00:37:54,087 --> 00:37:57,921
Him! The very him! The very Head!
533
00:37:57,967 --> 00:38:01,755
- No, no, no, stop!
- It's you, Bellgrove.
534
00:38:01,807 --> 00:38:04,480
- Me?
- I think it is you, Bellgrove.
535
00:38:04,527 --> 00:38:06,995
No, no. oh, shush! Nonsense!
536
00:38:07,047 --> 00:38:10,005
No, she doesn't want ME!
No. Does she?
537
00:38:18,167 --> 00:38:20,397
oh, perfect.
538
00:38:31,047 --> 00:38:35,643
only three days to go, Alfred!
539
00:38:35,687 --> 00:38:40,203
Tempus fugit, my seismic one,
tempus fugit...
540
00:38:49,767 --> 00:38:51,644
Titus?
541
00:38:51,687 --> 00:38:53,723
- Titus?
- Fuchsia?
542
00:38:54,967 --> 00:38:57,401
Here. I brought you some sweets.
543
00:39:01,047 --> 00:39:04,164
- I miss you, Titus.
- And I miss you.
544
00:39:04,207 --> 00:39:06,198
Dr Pru's having some horrid party.
545
00:39:06,247 --> 00:39:08,966
- A party?
- All your professors are going.
546
00:39:09,007 --> 00:39:09,996
Yuck!
547
00:39:10,047 --> 00:39:14,484
I hate them. Mother,
Barquentine, I hate all of them!
548
00:39:14,527 --> 00:39:18,281
I hate them for locking you up
and for ignoring me!
549
00:39:21,287 --> 00:39:24,165
Titus I spat out of my window today!
550
00:39:24,207 --> 00:39:26,596
I spat on the stones!
551
00:39:26,647 --> 00:39:28,717
I hate them all that much!
552
00:39:30,207 --> 00:39:31,799
Titus, can you hear me?
553
00:39:33,007 --> 00:39:34,406
Yes.
554
00:39:36,247 --> 00:39:38,715
And I spit on the stones too!
555
00:39:39,647 --> 00:39:41,524
Can you feel my fingers?
556
00:39:46,007 --> 00:39:48,601
Titus, you're my brother
and I love you.
557
00:39:48,647 --> 00:39:51,525
You're my sister and I love you.
558
00:39:51,567 --> 00:39:53,637
(Door opening)
559
00:39:53,687 --> 00:39:56,679
Bye, Titus. Remember what we said.
560
00:39:56,727 --> 00:39:57,762
Fuchsia?!
561
00:39:57,807 --> 00:40:00,719
Fuchsia! I hate them too!
562
00:40:00,767 --> 00:40:02,917
(Titus ) All of them! All of them!
563
00:40:05,447 --> 00:40:09,963
Well... Tonight's the night.
Will I or won't I?
564
00:40:10,007 --> 00:40:12,282
Irma Prunesquallor.
565
00:40:13,487 --> 00:40:16,957
Statement made in the staff room,
she's passionate about me.
566
00:40:18,447 --> 00:40:19,436
Consider.
567
00:40:19,487 --> 00:40:21,955
one, it's poppycock.
568
00:40:22,007 --> 00:40:24,475
Two, my damned staff
are damned interferers!
569
00:40:24,527 --> 00:40:28,361
Call themselves teachers!
They lie to add zest to the party.
570
00:40:28,407 --> 00:40:30,682
Three, I haven't
questioned their lie,
571
00:40:30,727 --> 00:40:33,924
so they don't know
I've seen through it!
572
00:40:33,967 --> 00:40:35,844
Four, so far so good.
573
00:40:35,887 --> 00:40:39,482
Five, how do I turn the tables
against these spoilers...
574
00:40:39,567 --> 00:40:44,083
of all that is young, wonderful and,
let's face it, lamb-like?
575
00:40:44,127 --> 00:40:48,200
Six, what's wrong with
Irma Prunesquallor anyway?
576
00:40:48,247 --> 00:40:52,718
Noses must be some shape or other
or, as that idiot Shred would say,
577
00:40:52,767 --> 00:40:54,758
they wouldn't exist at all.
578
00:40:54,807 --> 00:40:58,356
Seven...no bosoms to speak of,
579
00:40:58,407 --> 00:41:03,925
true, but then what are bosoms
weighed against, um...quite...
580
00:41:03,967 --> 00:41:07,004
Eight... I'm lonely.
581
00:41:08,007 --> 00:41:12,637
oh, Bellgrove, such scouring,
not to say moving, honesty.
582
00:41:13,087 --> 00:41:17,638
Nine, what a catch I am
for any woman!
583
00:41:18,207 --> 00:41:19,845
Ten...
584
00:41:19,887 --> 00:41:23,277
oh, God, please make her mine.
(Sniffs )
585
00:41:23,327 --> 00:41:25,158
(Irma sings )
586
00:41:27,247 --> 00:41:28,521
Mollocks!
587
00:41:31,327 --> 00:41:32,646
Mollocks!
588
00:41:32,687 --> 00:41:34,086
Beside you, madam.
589
00:41:34,127 --> 00:41:37,722
Why don't you make a sound?
You see I wear no spectacles.
590
00:41:37,767 --> 00:41:40,565
Don't go, Mollocks.
Dust, dust and dust again.
591
00:41:40,607 --> 00:41:44,759
Sister, if you ain't a work of art,
I don't know what is!
592
00:41:44,807 --> 00:41:47,241
Alfred, how do I seem to you?
593
00:41:47,287 --> 00:41:50,199
I'm over here, my dear.
Turn around, turn around.
594
00:41:50,247 --> 00:41:53,557
oh, to think the same blood
batters our veins.
595
00:41:53,607 --> 00:41:56,075
What? I thought
you were praising me!
596
00:41:56,127 --> 00:41:59,915
I was! But tell me what
it is that somehow looks different?
597
00:41:59,967 --> 00:42:01,764
You've gained a bosom!
598
00:42:01,807 --> 00:42:04,162
You said busts
are what you make them.
599
00:42:04,207 --> 00:42:05,435
My dear?
600
00:42:05,487 --> 00:42:08,877
I've made one from
a hot water bottle, very expensive.
601
00:42:08,927 --> 00:42:12,602
Don't you think
it gives me pride of bearing?
602
00:42:12,647 --> 00:42:14,524
Just tell me, exactly.
603
00:42:14,567 --> 00:42:16,478
(Mollocks snorting)
604
00:42:16,567 --> 00:42:19,365
Mollocks! Go and talk to cook.
605
00:42:20,367 --> 00:42:21,766
(Mollocks snorting)
606
00:42:24,167 --> 00:42:25,156
Dear sister...
607
00:42:25,207 --> 00:42:29,120
No, Alfred, I won't listen! Wait!
There's something else. Wait!
608
00:42:31,247 --> 00:42:34,045
Well, Alfred?
609
00:42:35,327 --> 00:42:37,124
What flair you have, Irma.
610
00:42:37,167 --> 00:42:38,725
Don't spare me.
611
00:42:40,087 --> 00:42:42,043
My only thought, my Arabic one,
612
00:42:42,087 --> 00:42:45,124
is that having so precisely
positioned such protuberances,
613
00:42:45,167 --> 00:42:49,524
is it not spitting in the face
of the divine to conceal them?
614
00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:52,559
You're going to ruin it.
I knew you were!
615
00:42:52,607 --> 00:42:55,075
The vivacity of the visage,
sweet nicotine,
616
00:42:55,127 --> 00:43:00,963
and the twin peaks of paradise are,
shall we say, hidden beneath net.
617
00:43:01,007 --> 00:43:02,804
Paradise?
618
00:43:02,847 --> 00:43:04,405
Hidden?
619
00:43:04,447 --> 00:43:05,960
oh, never!
620
00:43:06,007 --> 00:43:07,156
(Water splashing)
621
00:43:07,207 --> 00:43:11,359
It is I, Irma! oh, let them come!
622
00:43:11,407 --> 00:43:14,524
My men from the mountains!
623
00:43:14,567 --> 00:43:17,559
Come along, gentlemen.
Shoe laces, Mule! Shoe laces.
624
00:43:17,607 --> 00:43:20,883
Step lively,
like lambs to the slaughter!
625
00:43:20,927 --> 00:43:23,282
Don't dawdle, Mule! Come on!
626
00:43:23,327 --> 00:43:27,081
Stop the bickering.
The bickering isn't necessary.
627
00:43:29,527 --> 00:43:31,882
This way. Follow me.
628
00:43:33,767 --> 00:43:34,756
Gentlemen.
629
00:43:49,127 --> 00:43:50,879
Poor old Nannie.
630
00:43:51,927 --> 00:43:55,556
You're the easiest,
so you can go first.
631
00:43:59,007 --> 00:44:01,601
All in the cause of science,
you understand?
632
00:44:11,847 --> 00:44:15,726
Good night, Nannie. Sleep tight.
633
00:44:19,927 --> 00:44:22,236
Professor Mule!
634
00:44:23,047 --> 00:44:24,036
Professor Mule!
635
00:44:24,087 --> 00:44:25,486
Chop, chop.
636
00:44:26,727 --> 00:44:29,446
Professor Mule!
637
00:44:30,327 --> 00:44:31,555
Evening!
638
00:44:34,047 --> 00:44:35,036
Bastard!
639
00:44:38,127 --> 00:44:39,321
Bugger!
640
00:44:41,047 --> 00:44:42,196
Pardon us?
641
00:44:43,407 --> 00:44:46,205
Yes, Professor,
female of the species.
642
00:44:47,407 --> 00:44:50,399
Strange but true!
643
00:44:51,367 --> 00:44:52,766
Care for a canap?
644
00:44:53,567 --> 00:44:54,761
Now.
645
00:44:56,927 --> 00:44:58,599
The last of them.
646
00:44:59,287 --> 00:45:00,436
Just a minute.
647
00:45:00,487 --> 00:45:02,478
Professor Bellgrove!
648
00:45:02,527 --> 00:45:03,846
Headmaster!
649
00:45:08,487 --> 00:45:09,476
Arse.
650
00:45:09,527 --> 00:45:11,006
Eve!
651
00:45:11,047 --> 00:45:12,036
Head.
652
00:45:12,087 --> 00:45:13,440
Madame.
653
00:45:13,487 --> 00:45:14,602
Master.
654
00:45:20,047 --> 00:45:22,686
(Mule ) Bugger! ouh!
655
00:45:24,767 --> 00:45:25,756
Bugger!
656
00:45:25,807 --> 00:45:28,037
No way to behave
in front of a woman!
657
00:45:28,087 --> 00:45:31,079
Aah! Bloody bugger bastard!
658
00:45:31,607 --> 00:45:34,280
(Prunesquallor) Gentlemen!
Pass that armchair!
659
00:45:34,327 --> 00:45:36,841
Help me get him into it.
660
00:45:36,887 --> 00:45:39,321
one, two, heave!
661
00:45:41,287 --> 00:45:43,278
(Prunesquallor) one more effort,
gentlemen!
662
00:45:45,167 --> 00:45:47,556
Right, stand back, give him air.
663
00:45:47,607 --> 00:45:51,361
Madam. He is before you
as a sign of weakness.
664
00:45:51,407 --> 00:45:55,320
We are all mere men.
Is this not how we all feel?.
665
00:45:55,367 --> 00:45:57,437
Perch, Fluke, Throttlebum!
666
00:45:57,487 --> 00:46:00,718
convey the professor
to his quarters to recover.
667
00:46:00,767 --> 00:46:03,281
No, Headmaster!
I understand utterly.
668
00:46:03,687 --> 00:46:05,439
He has honoured me!
669
00:46:06,447 --> 00:46:09,962
Alfred! Do something. He shall
not be removed from this room.
670
00:46:10,007 --> 00:46:12,316
It's a full-blown spasm, dearest!
671
00:46:12,367 --> 00:46:15,165
Spasm or no spasm! He shall remain!
672
00:46:15,207 --> 00:46:17,516
Mollocks! Fetch my silver hammer.
673
00:46:17,567 --> 00:46:21,640
oh, and scissors. We'll need
to snip his clothes off.
674
00:46:21,687 --> 00:46:23,564
This is not for you!
675
00:46:23,607 --> 00:46:26,883
It is for you to speak
and me to listen.
676
00:46:26,927 --> 00:46:29,999
Take my arm, such as it is.
677
00:46:30,047 --> 00:46:33,005
oh! I shall
accompany you, Professor.
678
00:46:33,047 --> 00:46:34,605
Excellent!
679
00:46:34,647 --> 00:46:38,003
- Er, where?
- The garden?
680
00:46:38,047 --> 00:46:41,403
The garden! It shall be
our first promenade together.
681
00:46:41,447 --> 00:46:44,007
But I hardly know you, Headmaster.
682
00:46:45,367 --> 00:46:46,800
(Doctor) Let's see.
683
00:46:49,287 --> 00:46:54,077
Ahem. Lilac! Can you not smell
the lilac, my dear madam?
684
00:46:54,127 --> 00:46:55,606
I have a cold.
685
00:46:55,647 --> 00:46:59,242
Ah, yes, women are
such sensitive creatures.
686
00:46:59,287 --> 00:47:01,482
And require light, Headmaster.
687
00:47:01,527 --> 00:47:02,960
A light? Certainly.
688
00:47:03,007 --> 00:47:05,521
I'm afraid you...
you cannot see me here.
689
00:47:05,567 --> 00:47:08,559
I would have you sit on my right.
690
00:47:08,607 --> 00:47:12,725
Ah, well, um, what you would have,
you shall be given!
691
00:47:12,767 --> 00:47:14,166
Shall we rise?
692
00:47:14,207 --> 00:47:15,526
(Fabric tearing)
693
00:47:15,567 --> 00:47:16,556
oh, blast!
694
00:47:16,607 --> 00:47:20,202
How could you use such a word
in front of me?
695
00:47:20,247 --> 00:47:23,319
Silence! Am I not your headmaster!
oh! oh! I...
696
00:47:23,367 --> 00:47:25,801
Do forgive me! I, er...
697
00:47:35,007 --> 00:47:37,726
(Prunesquallor) Turn him over.
(Mollocks ) over.
698
00:47:37,767 --> 00:47:40,042
I am so happy!
699
00:47:41,287 --> 00:47:42,686
I knew it.
700
00:47:43,887 --> 00:47:45,081
So did I.
701
00:47:48,967 --> 00:47:51,765
My dear, you are cold.
702
00:47:51,807 --> 00:47:53,877
It's this damnable arbor!
703
00:47:53,927 --> 00:47:59,763
I will not have you use strong
language in our sacred place.
704
00:47:59,807 --> 00:48:03,561
Well, you...
you must forgive an old fool,
705
00:48:03,607 --> 00:48:08,078
but I was just trying
to damn this dark...
706
00:48:08,127 --> 00:48:12,837
which prevents me from seeing
the proud beauty of your face.
707
00:48:16,407 --> 00:48:18,125
Ah! Yes?
708
00:48:22,927 --> 00:48:24,440
oh, Head...
709
00:48:24,487 --> 00:48:25,920
oh, Irma...
710
00:48:25,967 --> 00:48:27,878
Hoh!
711
00:48:27,927 --> 00:48:31,602
Aah! Ahh!
712
00:48:31,647 --> 00:48:32,921
My man...
713
00:48:35,047 --> 00:48:37,880
- Aaah!
- Wahhh!
714
00:48:45,127 --> 00:48:47,561
(Gasping)
715
00:48:48,607 --> 00:48:49,596
oh!
716
00:48:53,087 --> 00:48:55,681
Nannie? Nannie!
717
00:48:57,647 --> 00:48:59,603
oh, my weak heart...
718
00:49:01,927 --> 00:49:02,916
Nannie?
719
00:49:02,967 --> 00:49:05,959
Nannie... Help! Someone help!
720
00:49:06,007 --> 00:49:07,804
Nannie! What's wrong?
721
00:49:07,847 --> 00:49:11,635
- Let me see.
- No. Not you. You get the doctor.
722
00:49:11,687 --> 00:49:13,279
Yes, Ladyship! At once!
723
00:49:13,327 --> 00:49:15,124
Nannie? Nannie?
724
00:49:15,167 --> 00:49:17,397
(Gasping)
725
00:49:17,447 --> 00:49:20,041
Something...wrong.
726
00:49:21,527 --> 00:49:25,600
All...wrong.
727
00:49:29,207 --> 00:49:31,163
Nannie!
728
00:49:32,687 --> 00:49:34,678
(Sobbing)
729
00:49:40,607 --> 00:49:44,486
See it as a gift
from the kitchen boy, Nannie.
730
00:49:51,247 --> 00:49:54,637
Have her buried in the Graveyard
for Select Retainers, Squallor.
731
00:50:02,127 --> 00:50:05,164
I don't feel anything, Mother.
Am I wicked?
732
00:50:05,207 --> 00:50:08,244
She was a good servant.
You'll miss her.
733
00:50:09,207 --> 00:50:11,801
- See to it, Squallor.
- Ladyship.
734
00:50:15,607 --> 00:50:17,677
You are not wicked, my dear.
735
00:50:23,167 --> 00:50:26,796
When are they going to let Titus
out of the fort?
736
00:50:26,847 --> 00:50:29,964
It's not fair,
he's just a little boy.
737
00:50:30,007 --> 00:50:33,602
He'll be out like
a jack-in-the-box in no time.
738
00:50:33,647 --> 00:50:35,956
He must.
739
00:50:36,007 --> 00:50:38,362
And I want to see my daddy.
740
00:50:40,127 --> 00:50:42,561
Shh, my dear.
741
00:50:45,127 --> 00:50:47,163
Where did he go, Dr Pru?
742
00:50:47,207 --> 00:50:50,802
He was a very sick man.
Who knows what happened?
743
00:50:52,167 --> 00:50:53,759
Mr Flay is still alive.
744
00:50:53,807 --> 00:50:55,320
Mr Flay?
745
00:50:55,367 --> 00:50:57,562
Titus has seen him!
746
00:50:57,607 --> 00:51:01,122
And he also saw something else -
a wild thing.
747
00:51:01,167 --> 00:51:06,321
A wild girl, and now he says
he's in love with her.
748
00:51:06,367 --> 00:51:07,356
And now, Nannie!
749
00:51:09,367 --> 00:51:11,801
I'm sorry, Nannie!
750
00:51:14,607 --> 00:51:16,723
I can't stand it.
751
00:51:19,887 --> 00:51:20,876
Ladyship.
752
00:51:32,767 --> 00:51:35,679
Now learn, Lordship.
753
00:51:35,887 --> 00:51:40,403
Learn the code, learn the canon.
Learn who you are.
754
00:51:40,567 --> 00:51:43,161
Learn Gormenghast!
755
00:51:47,407 --> 00:51:49,523
It's my family, Mr Secretary,
756
00:51:49,567 --> 00:51:53,162
and I'll learn what I'll learn
in my own time.
757
00:52:40,847 --> 00:52:42,200
Starve then.
758
00:52:56,007 --> 00:52:58,282
It's him. I hate him, don't you?
759
00:53:07,647 --> 00:53:09,046
This way.
760
00:53:20,047 --> 00:53:21,685
Titus, I'm frightened.
761
00:53:21,727 --> 00:53:23,319
I know what I'm doing.
762
00:53:23,367 --> 00:53:26,245
I want to show you
something. This way.
763
00:53:43,247 --> 00:53:44,965
(Titus ) It's her!
764
00:53:45,007 --> 00:53:46,804
The wild girl!
765
00:53:47,647 --> 00:53:50,241
She was there! I saw her!
766
00:53:50,287 --> 00:53:53,085
She can get in and out
whenever she wants!
767
00:53:53,127 --> 00:53:56,324
I didn't come all this way
to see her! Come down!
768
00:53:56,367 --> 00:54:01,487
You said we were going to see
Mr Flay to find out about Father!
769
00:54:01,527 --> 00:54:04,883
This stupid wild girl!
Why are you so interested in her?
770
00:54:04,927 --> 00:54:08,317
You can't be like her,
and what would Mother say?
771
00:54:08,367 --> 00:54:11,040
I don't care what SHE says!
772
00:54:11,087 --> 00:54:14,966
She never talks to me anyway.
She's got her stupid birds.
773
00:54:15,007 --> 00:54:18,443
Now I've got something better
and that's what they don't like.
774
00:54:18,487 --> 00:54:20,284
They think they know everything.
775
00:54:20,327 --> 00:54:22,522
And now I know something they don't.
776
00:54:22,567 --> 00:54:27,083
And I'll tell you, Fuchsia,
I want to be just like her.
777
00:54:27,127 --> 00:54:30,358
(Gertrude ) Gone again?!
He's in your charge!
778
00:54:30,407 --> 00:54:32,125
I'm not his keeper.
779
00:54:32,167 --> 00:54:35,125
Barquentine, find the boy.
And his sister,
780
00:54:35,167 --> 00:54:39,240
though you needn't waste too much
time on that. Go away!
781
00:54:39,287 --> 00:54:42,882
I'll have you pinned to the rock
with your eyes out.
782
00:54:42,927 --> 00:54:47,478
Lordships come
and Lordships go, Ladyship.
783
00:54:47,527 --> 00:54:50,837
Gormenghast stays put!
784
00:54:53,087 --> 00:54:56,762
This wild thing? You think that's
what all this is about?
785
00:54:56,807 --> 00:54:59,037
It would appear to be, madam.
786
00:54:59,087 --> 00:55:01,681
It's the brat
from his foster mother.
787
00:55:01,727 --> 00:55:05,003
I would hypothesise that quite
possibly, given the history...
788
00:55:05,047 --> 00:55:08,198
Why not use one word
when one will do, Squallor?
789
00:55:08,247 --> 00:55:09,566
Yes.
790
00:55:09,607 --> 00:55:12,724
This thing is stealing
from the Carvers?
791
00:55:12,767 --> 00:55:15,964
They say she steals only
the most beautiful, Ladyship.
792
00:55:16,007 --> 00:55:19,317
What's that got to do with it?
The Carvers loathe her.
793
00:55:19,367 --> 00:55:21,358
He is the heir, Squallor.
794
00:55:21,407 --> 00:55:22,556
Yes.
795
00:55:22,607 --> 00:55:28,079
That infested rag Barquentine
is right, Gormenghast is all.
796
00:55:28,127 --> 00:55:29,321
Uh...
797
00:55:30,767 --> 00:55:34,760
I don't know what's worse,
you clammed up or in full flow.
798
00:55:34,807 --> 00:55:37,196
Go away, I prefer my birds.
799
00:55:37,247 --> 00:55:39,044
Madam.
800
00:55:42,607 --> 00:55:45,360
The owls? They killed my father?
In the Tower of Flints?
801
00:55:45,407 --> 00:55:46,760
What he wanted, Ladyship.
802
00:55:46,807 --> 00:55:50,117
Cook, slug Swelter,
he went too. Same time.
803
00:55:51,127 --> 00:55:52,845
Earl, noble man.
804
00:55:52,887 --> 00:55:54,957
Why didn't anybody tell me?
805
00:55:55,007 --> 00:55:58,966
only I knew, Ladyship.
Lordship now. Look to duty.
806
00:55:59,007 --> 00:56:00,520
Come back with us.
807
00:56:00,567 --> 00:56:02,205
Can't.
808
00:56:02,247 --> 00:56:03,885
I'll show you how.
809
00:56:03,927 --> 00:56:07,442
Live in the East Wing.
No one would find you there.
810
00:56:07,487 --> 00:56:11,116
Banished. That's it.
Look out for Steerpike.
811
00:56:11,167 --> 00:56:14,637
Why? Why always Steerpike?
It's not fair!
812
00:56:14,687 --> 00:56:19,966
People don't like him just because
he's more brilliant than them.
813
00:56:20,007 --> 00:56:21,998
At least he talks to me.
814
00:56:22,047 --> 00:56:25,403
At least he's better
than this wild THING!
815
00:56:27,087 --> 00:56:29,476
Please, come back with us, Mr Flay.
816
00:56:29,527 --> 00:56:34,840
Be ready, Lordship. Know tunnel.
Will watch. Come when you need me.
817
00:56:35,167 --> 00:56:37,203
Fuchsia! Fuchsia!
818
00:56:42,487 --> 00:56:46,685
Now you'll learn! Because
you'll stay there till you do!
819
00:56:52,647 --> 00:56:57,118
I'm so sorry, Nannie.
I don't know what to do.
820
00:57:01,407 --> 00:57:04,205
No one loves me!
821
00:57:05,727 --> 00:57:07,718
What shall I do?
822
00:57:09,087 --> 00:57:11,521
I can't dream forever.
823
00:57:23,887 --> 00:57:25,479
Lady Fuchsia.
824
00:57:26,527 --> 00:57:28,722
I had no idea you'd be here.
825
00:57:30,727 --> 00:57:33,525
I didn't know her well,
but I thought...
826
00:57:34,247 --> 00:57:37,239
I'm sure your flowers
will please her most.
827
00:57:38,167 --> 00:57:39,998
It's all stupid anyway!
828
00:57:40,047 --> 00:57:43,960
And I didn't think
you were so sentimental.
829
00:57:44,967 --> 00:57:46,559
I have my moods too.
830
00:57:47,607 --> 00:57:49,484
How dare you?!
831
00:57:52,047 --> 00:57:54,607
You please yourself, why can't I?
832
00:57:55,567 --> 00:57:57,797
You...! You!
833
00:58:01,407 --> 00:58:03,875
- I understand.
- No, you don't.
834
00:58:05,167 --> 00:58:08,079
If I understand anything
I understand anger!
835
00:58:08,127 --> 00:58:11,961
And that's because I understand
what it feels like to be rejected.
836
00:58:12,007 --> 00:58:14,601
Don't think I don't
understand loneliness too.
837
00:58:14,647 --> 00:58:16,444
I'm sorry! (Sobs )
838
00:58:27,487 --> 00:58:32,322
No, no, this is horrible!
You're horrible!
839
00:58:35,287 --> 00:58:38,597
You leave me alone!
Never come near me!
840
00:58:47,767 --> 00:58:49,359
I can wait.
841
00:58:53,047 --> 00:58:59,919
Stones. Stones. Stone. Rock.
842
00:59:01,927 --> 00:59:04,395
I hate...
843
00:59:04,447 --> 00:59:07,200
it...all.
61128
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