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1
00:00:04,612 --> 00:00:06,372
What is Holland?
2
00:00:10,368 --> 00:00:13,919
What do you mean, what is it?
It's a country right next to Belgium.
3
00:00:13,997 --> 00:00:15,295
No, that's the Netherlands.
4
00:00:15,373 --> 00:00:17,300
Holland is the Netherlands.
5
00:00:17,667 --> 00:00:19,594
Then who are the Dutch?
6
00:00:20,295 --> 00:00:22,636
You know,
I cannot stand this thing anymore.
7
00:00:23,047 --> 00:00:26,682
I know, I hate it too.
I feel like an out-of-work porn star.
8
00:00:28,303 --> 00:00:30,312
We should have taken
some kind of vacation.
9
00:00:30,388 --> 00:00:33,061
- Well, why didn't we?
- You said this would be better.
10
00:00:33,141 --> 00:00:34,272
Remember?
11
00:00:34,350 --> 00:00:35,826
"A vacation from ourselves."
12
00:00:35,893 --> 00:00:37,785
That's what you said.
13
00:00:38,563 --> 00:00:40,074
What if we grew mutton chops?
14
00:00:40,148 --> 00:00:41,706
- No.
- Buzz cuts?
15
00:00:41,774 --> 00:00:44,081
- Parachute pants?
- Stop it, George. Stop it.
16
00:00:44,152 --> 00:00:45,283
I'm sorry.
17
00:00:45,361 --> 00:00:47,086
You've gotta get a job.
18
00:00:49,365 --> 00:00:50,496
Damn it.
19
00:00:56,581 --> 00:00:58,305
Hey, hey, hey.
20
00:00:58,374 --> 00:00:59,885
Check me out.
21
00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:01,851
No more crutches.
That must be a relief.
22
00:01:01,919 --> 00:01:04,345
Yeah. With crutches,
everyone has questions.
23
00:01:04,422 --> 00:01:07,013
- Not with a cane?
- No, with crutches, it's a funny story.
24
00:01:07,091 --> 00:01:10,441
With a cane, it's a sad story.
You through with those?
25
00:01:10,845 --> 00:01:13,103
That is a sad story.
26
00:01:13,181 --> 00:01:15,854
You should've been here.
Some guy from NBC saw my set...
27
00:01:15,933 --> 00:01:17,444
he wants me to do a showcase.
28
00:01:17,518 --> 00:01:19,278
I might have another shot at a pilot.
29
00:01:19,354 --> 00:01:22,289
All right. We're back in.
30
00:01:22,357 --> 00:01:24,165
We? No.
31
00:01:24,233 --> 00:01:26,207
Ladies and gentlemen,
Kenny Bania.
32
00:01:26,277 --> 00:01:28,785
Thank you. Thank you.
33
00:01:28,863 --> 00:01:30,872
Hey, Jerry, did you see me
up there?
34
00:01:30,948 --> 00:01:33,504
I was killing, Jerry. Killing. I killed.
35
00:01:33,576 --> 00:01:35,716
- Killed?
- Killed.
36
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,260
I'm gonna go pick up some chicks.
37
00:01:38,498 --> 00:01:40,222
Good-looking ones too.
38
00:01:40,875 --> 00:01:42,802
Hey, what's your name?
39
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:45,050
Yeah, he killed.
40
00:01:45,129 --> 00:01:47,720
Because I killed first
and warmed up the crowd.
41
00:01:47,799 --> 00:01:50,390
He's like that fish
that attaches himself to the shark.
42
00:01:50,468 --> 00:01:52,561
- And you're the shark?
- Yeah. I'm the shark.
43
00:01:52,637 --> 00:01:55,310
And he's the fish eating my laughs.
44
00:01:55,390 --> 00:01:57,696
I don't know how a fish
could eat laughs.
45
00:01:57,767 --> 00:01:59,741
Well, I'm glad I brought it up.
46
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:09,085
You got any shredded coconut?
47
00:02:09,153 --> 00:02:10,913
We're not doing that anymore.
48
00:02:14,742 --> 00:02:16,716
- Oh, my God.
- What?
49
00:02:16,786 --> 00:02:18,345
I got a job interview.
50
00:02:18,413 --> 00:02:20,386
They wanna see me this afternoon.
51
00:02:20,456 --> 00:02:23,344
- So, what's this job?
- Oh, it's beautiful. It's in sports.
52
00:02:23,418 --> 00:02:26,091
- Knicks? Rangers?
- Playground equipment.
53
00:02:26,170 --> 00:02:27,551
Welcome back to the show.
54
00:02:32,510 --> 00:02:34,567
- Yeah, this is better.
- Yeah.
55
00:02:34,637 --> 00:02:36,397
- So you got any shredded coconut?
- No.
56
00:02:36,472 --> 00:02:38,232
I gotta hobble.
57
00:02:46,983 --> 00:02:50,084
I gotta switch shaving creams.
I'm getting no protection.
58
00:02:50,153 --> 00:02:52,292
- What kind do you use?
- Whatever you get.
59
00:02:54,157 --> 00:02:56,463
Look. Post card from Elaine
from Europe.
60
00:02:56,826 --> 00:02:59,595
Don't tell me she's dragging
another poor guy across Europe.
61
00:02:59,662 --> 00:03:00,793
Remember David Puddy?
62
00:03:00,872 --> 00:03:04,637
Oh, the face-painting auto mechanic.
So she's dating him again, huh?
63
00:03:04,709 --> 00:03:08,344
Well, I guess she's batted around
and she's back at the top of the order.
64
00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:12,146
Boy, a month in Europe with Elaine.
65
00:03:12,216 --> 00:03:15,104
That guy's coming home
in a body bag.
66
00:03:18,806 --> 00:03:22,322
Well, let's see, I've got a 10 kroner,
a 5 kroner...
67
00:03:22,393 --> 00:03:25,411
a 20 kroner. No, wait.
68
00:03:25,688 --> 00:03:27,995
That's another 10 kroner.
69
00:03:28,900 --> 00:03:30,162
Femti kroner.
70
00:03:30,234 --> 00:03:32,493
How much is that?
71
00:03:33,029 --> 00:03:34,244
We have to break up.
72
00:03:34,322 --> 00:03:36,747
- What?
- I can't take this anymore.
73
00:03:36,824 --> 00:03:41,004
I don't wanna hear how interesting
the change with the hole in it is.
74
00:03:42,246 --> 00:03:45,680
And tell me what time it is in New York,
you are going home in a body bag.
75
00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:49,599
Well, what do you think the Gap
in Rome has that's not on Broadway?
76
00:03:49,671 --> 00:03:50,850
Okay, all right, listen.
77
00:03:50,922 --> 00:03:53,014
Forget about the Gap
because we are through.
78
00:03:53,091 --> 00:03:54,436
- Fine.
- Fine.
79
00:03:54,509 --> 00:03:57,100
Okay, Terminal 3. Have a nice flight.
80
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,235
Ladies and gent/emen,
our f/ight time with stopovers...
81
00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:04,278
wi// be approximate/y 22 hours.
82
00:04:06,270 --> 00:04:10,285
Hey. You gonna bust out
that drink cart or what?
83
00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:15,033
Hey, what are you doing?
84
00:04:15,113 --> 00:04:18,379
Taking this lace out. It came undone,
touched the floor of a men's room.
85
00:04:18,449 --> 00:04:20,708
That's the end of that.
86
00:04:21,411 --> 00:04:23,219
Did you see Bania's set last night?
87
00:04:23,288 --> 00:04:25,047
I read on the Internet he killed.
88
00:04:26,207 --> 00:04:27,386
He killed.
89
00:04:27,458 --> 00:04:29,598
He only does well
when he has me for a lead-in.
90
00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:31,180
He's a time-slot hit.
91
00:04:31,254 --> 00:04:34,059
Jerry, you gotta give him
some credit.
92
00:04:34,132 --> 00:04:36,520
I mean, you're just being
totally ridiculous.
93
00:04:37,969 --> 00:04:39,812
I'll see you later, buddy.
94
00:04:41,764 --> 00:04:46,076
- Wait, wait, wait a minute.
- What? What? What?
95
00:04:46,144 --> 00:04:48,699
Do I have to ask?
96
00:04:49,814 --> 00:04:53,413
Well, I ran out of butter,
so I had to borrow yours.
97
00:04:53,484 --> 00:04:56,538
Anything else, Mr. Nosy?
98
00:04:59,574 --> 00:05:02,426
Why are you buttering your face?
99
00:05:02,493 --> 00:05:04,088
I'm shaving with it.
100
00:05:04,162 --> 00:05:06,504
Oh, Moses, smell the roses.
101
00:05:06,581 --> 00:05:10,216
Look, Jerry, it's vastly superior
to any commercial shaving cream.
102
00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:12,101
I mean, the shave
is close and clean...
103
00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:15,431
and the natural emollients
keep my skin silky smooth.
104
00:05:15,548 --> 00:05:16,679
- Feel my face.
- No.
105
00:05:16,758 --> 00:05:18,767
- No, feel it.
- I don't want to.
106
00:05:18,843 --> 00:05:21,268
Feel it.
107
00:05:21,346 --> 00:05:22,608
That is close.
108
00:05:30,104 --> 00:05:31,402
I got the job?
109
00:05:31,481 --> 00:05:34,617
George, everybody here at Play Now
is just very impressed with you...
110
00:05:34,692 --> 00:05:36,785
but I'm sure you've heard
that before.
111
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,712
Well...
112
00:05:39,197 --> 00:05:41,206
no.
113
00:05:41,282 --> 00:05:43,790
Don't think anyone's
gonna treat you differently...
114
00:05:43,868 --> 00:05:45,877
just because of your...
115
00:05:45,954 --> 00:05:47,298
Handicap.
116
00:05:47,372 --> 00:05:50,045
Handicap?
Oh, I'm not handicapped.
117
00:05:50,124 --> 00:05:51,256
I'm sorry.
118
00:05:51,626 --> 00:05:53,802
Differently...
119
00:05:54,379 --> 00:05:55,558
Advantaged.
120
00:05:55,630 --> 00:05:56,975
See, I didn't mean that.
121
00:05:57,048 --> 00:06:01,477
Of course, you will have your own
private, fully-equipped bathroom.
122
00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:07,817
When do I start?
123
00:06:07,892 --> 00:06:10,234
Well, whenever you feel
that you're able.
124
00:06:11,229 --> 00:06:13,286
You need a hand here?
125
00:06:14,565 --> 00:06:16,373
Yeah, what the hell.
126
00:06:18,736 --> 00:06:21,837
- You got the job?
- Jerry, it's fantastic.
127
00:06:21,906 --> 00:06:23,833
I love the people.
They treat me so great.
128
00:06:23,908 --> 00:06:25,337
They think I'm handicapped.
129
00:06:25,410 --> 00:06:27,917
They gave me this incredible office,
a great view.
130
00:06:27,996 --> 00:06:30,421
- They think you're handicapped?
- Yeah, yeah.
131
00:06:30,498 --> 00:06:31,761
Yeah, because of the cane.
132
00:06:31,833 --> 00:06:34,340
You should see the bathroom
they gave me.
133
00:06:34,419 --> 00:06:36,143
How can you do this?
134
00:06:36,754 --> 00:06:39,096
Jerry, let's face it.
I've always been handicapped.
135
00:06:39,173 --> 00:06:41,349
I'm just now getting
the recognition for it.
136
00:06:42,719 --> 00:06:46,104
Name one thing I have that puts me
in a position of advantage.
137
00:06:46,180 --> 00:06:48,688
There was a guy that worked
at the Yankees, no arms.
138
00:06:48,766 --> 00:06:51,357
He got more work done than I did.
Made more money.
139
00:06:51,436 --> 00:06:53,445
He had a wife, a family.
140
00:06:53,521 --> 00:06:55,115
Drove a better car than I did.
141
00:06:55,189 --> 00:06:57,863
He drove a car with no arms?
142
00:06:58,359 --> 00:07:01,377
All right, I made up the part
about the car, but the rest is true.
143
00:07:01,446 --> 00:07:03,538
And he hated me anyway.
144
00:07:03,614 --> 00:07:07,166
Do you know how hard it's getting
just to tell people I know you?
145
00:07:07,243 --> 00:07:08,802
I love that bathroom.
146
00:07:08,870 --> 00:07:10,168
It's got that high toilet.
147
00:07:10,246 --> 00:07:13,715
I feel like a gargoyle perched
on the ledge of a building.
148
00:07:14,417 --> 00:07:17,304
Hey. They hooked me up.
149
00:07:17,378 --> 00:07:18,807
What's with all the butter?
150
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:20,854
I'm shaving with it.
And you know what?
151
00:07:20,923 --> 00:07:22,055
You can eat it?
152
00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:23,562
No.
153
00:07:23,635 --> 00:07:26,652
My face feels so good,
I'm gonna use it all over my body.
154
00:07:29,974 --> 00:07:32,399
Oh, my God. It's Bania and Jenna.
155
00:07:32,477 --> 00:07:34,569
- Who?
- The toothbrush in the toilet bowl.
156
00:07:35,813 --> 00:07:37,289
Hey, Jerry.
157
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:38,536
This is Jenna.
158
00:07:38,608 --> 00:07:40,250
Pretty good-looking, huh?
159
00:07:41,736 --> 00:07:44,920
Jerry is the guy
that I dated right before you.
160
00:07:44,989 --> 00:07:46,204
This is awkward.
161
00:07:46,949 --> 00:07:48,212
Don't worry, Kenny.
162
00:07:48,284 --> 00:07:51,089
After dating Jerry,
you're a pleasure.
163
00:07:53,122 --> 00:07:55,760
- I don't believe this.
- You miss her, don't you?
164
00:07:55,833 --> 00:07:59,765
No. He's riding my coattails again.
He's getting everything off of me.
165
00:07:59,837 --> 00:08:01,847
First laughs. Now ladies.
166
00:08:01,923 --> 00:08:03,019
You miss her.
167
00:08:07,679 --> 00:08:10,945
You know, I think, ultimately,
I'm upset with myself.
168
00:08:11,015 --> 00:08:14,947
I knew what I was getting into.
She's a bitter, unstable person.
169
00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:16,990
I mean, the sex was good.
170
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:19,571
Which I'm sure was fine for her...
171
00:08:19,649 --> 00:08:20,780
but I need more.
172
00:08:21,359 --> 00:08:23,582
Hey, you believing this?
173
00:08:23,653 --> 00:08:25,959
Excuse me, I was sleeping.
174
00:08:26,030 --> 00:08:29,713
Well, you missed
quite a performance.
175
00:08:30,868 --> 00:08:32,083
That's my apple juice.
176
00:09:14,078 --> 00:09:16,135
Someone's cooking.
177
00:09:18,541 --> 00:09:20,183
Hello, Jerry.
178
00:09:20,668 --> 00:09:23,010
Hello, Newman.
179
00:09:23,421 --> 00:09:25,430
You know, old friend...
180
00:09:25,506 --> 00:09:29,438
sometimes I ponder this silly
gulf between us...
181
00:09:29,510 --> 00:09:31,733
and I say, why?
182
00:09:31,846 --> 00:09:33,689
Are we really so different?
183
00:09:33,765 --> 00:09:36,356
- For what is broth...
- I'm not the one doing the cooking.
184
00:09:36,768 --> 00:09:39,074
Damn you, Seinfeld.
185
00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:42,700
You useless pustule.
186
00:09:43,441 --> 00:09:46,162
Somebody's got something
on the griddle. Maybe it's Kramer.
187
00:09:46,235 --> 00:09:49,539
No, he's up on the roof
getting some sun with the butter.
188
00:09:50,281 --> 00:09:52,374
Oh, no.
189
00:09:53,743 --> 00:09:55,385
Butter?
190
00:09:56,079 --> 00:09:58,385
This is the femti kroner.
191
00:09:58,706 --> 00:10:03,219
You know, my last boyfriend, he had
a real kroner comprehension problem.
192
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:04,682
You know what I mean?
193
00:10:04,754 --> 00:10:06,930
A real cement head.
194
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,730
- David, you are so funny.
- Yeah, I know.
195
00:10:11,552 --> 00:10:12,732
What are you doing?
196
00:10:12,804 --> 00:10:15,359
It's a long flight.
I had to get on with my life.
197
00:10:15,431 --> 00:10:17,903
By making time with some floozy
across the aisle?
198
00:10:17,976 --> 00:10:19,190
Yeah, that's right.
199
00:10:19,268 --> 00:10:21,326
What's going on over there
with you and...
200
00:10:21,396 --> 00:10:22,824
Vegetable Lasagne?
201
00:10:22,897 --> 00:10:25,784
This guy? Oh, he's an idiot.
He doesn't mean anything to me.
202
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:27,832
I can hear you.
203
00:10:28,653 --> 00:10:31,754
She doesn't either. If it were up to me,
we'd still be together.
204
00:10:31,823 --> 00:10:33,750
- Well, maybe I feel the same way.
- Okay.
205
00:10:33,825 --> 00:10:36,167
- Okay. So now what?
- Let's make out.
206
00:10:38,288 --> 00:10:40,380
- Kramer.
- What?
207
00:10:41,165 --> 00:10:42,594
Oh, man.
208
00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:45,431
I think I cooked myself.
209
00:10:45,503 --> 00:10:46,931
Look at your skin.
210
00:10:47,005 --> 00:10:50,438
Oh, stick a fork in me, Jerry.
211
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,607
I'm done.
212
00:11:03,855 --> 00:11:05,413
I'm fried.
213
00:11:05,481 --> 00:11:08,950
Technically, you're sautéed.
So, what are you doing for that?
214
00:11:09,027 --> 00:11:11,748
Well, I just gotta keep my skin moist
so I don't dry out.
215
00:11:11,821 --> 00:11:16,630
- Is that what the doctor said?
- No, I read an article in Bon Appétit.
216
00:11:16,701 --> 00:11:18,176
- See you.
- See you.
217
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:20,088
- Hey, how you doing?
- Hey, buddy.
218
00:11:22,540 --> 00:11:24,633
- Game hen?
- Kind of.
219
00:11:25,043 --> 00:11:27,301
Nice limp. You bringing
your work home with you?
220
00:11:27,378 --> 00:11:29,387
No, I fake limp on my right.
221
00:11:29,464 --> 00:11:32,315
This is a real limp
because I sprained my ankle.
222
00:11:32,383 --> 00:11:33,646
What happened?
223
00:11:33,718 --> 00:11:37,104
Well, I was buttering myself up
for a nice shave.
224
00:11:37,180 --> 00:11:39,153
Oh, not you too.
225
00:11:39,223 --> 00:11:41,993
I must have dripped some on the floor
and I slipped and...
226
00:11:42,060 --> 00:11:44,615
You know what's good for that?
Relish.
227
00:11:48,024 --> 00:11:49,155
Hello?
228
00:11:49,233 --> 00:11:50,958
Yeah, this is Jerry Seinfeld.
229
00:11:51,027 --> 00:11:52,290
What?
230
00:11:52,362 --> 00:11:53,493
No.
231
00:11:53,571 --> 00:11:54,667
No.
232
00:11:54,739 --> 00:11:56,997
No, no, no!
233
00:11:57,116 --> 00:11:58,296
Thank you.
234
00:11:59,202 --> 00:12:00,381
I don't believe this.
235
00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:03,922
They've added Bania to the showcase
and he's going on right after me.
236
00:12:03,998 --> 00:12:06,423
Well, so what?
He's got a couple of good jokes.
237
00:12:06,501 --> 00:12:08,344
Oh, like what? Ovaltine?
238
00:12:08,419 --> 00:12:10,927
Why do dogs drink out of the toilet?
239
00:12:11,005 --> 00:12:13,596
Shopping carts with one bad wheel?
240
00:12:14,217 --> 00:12:16,855
That's true.
That always happens to me.
241
00:12:17,387 --> 00:12:18,815
You think that's funny?
242
00:12:18,888 --> 00:12:21,823
I don't know. I like stuff you don't have
to think about much.
243
00:12:21,891 --> 00:12:23,366
You like Bania's act.
244
00:12:23,434 --> 00:12:25,159
You're a closet Bania fan.
245
00:12:25,228 --> 00:12:27,997
- Maybe I am.
- Oh, I'm gonna puke.
246
00:12:28,064 --> 00:12:30,951
Puke? That's a funny word. Puke.
247
00:12:32,443 --> 00:12:33,872
Puke.
248
00:12:35,071 --> 00:12:37,662
You don't have to think about that.
249
00:12:38,700 --> 00:12:41,670
I can't believe we broke up like that.
250
00:12:41,744 --> 00:12:44,086
It was stupid.
251
00:12:56,968 --> 00:12:59,737
- You want something to read?
- No, I'm good.
252
00:13:04,183 --> 00:13:07,368
- Well, are you gonna take a nap or?
- No.
253
00:13:09,063 --> 00:13:12,164
You're just gonna sit there
staring at the back of the seat?
254
00:13:12,233 --> 00:13:14,041
Yeah.
255
00:13:24,912 --> 00:13:27,883
That's it. I cannot take this.
256
00:13:27,957 --> 00:13:29,931
I mean, look at this.
Nothing has changed.
257
00:13:30,001 --> 00:13:31,560
We've been together two hours...
258
00:13:31,628 --> 00:13:34,219
we're having the same problems
we had 12 hours ago.
259
00:13:34,297 --> 00:13:37,066
Oh, tell me about it.
I don't know why I ever took you back.
260
00:13:37,133 --> 00:13:39,142
Oh, please. I took you back.
261
00:13:39,218 --> 00:13:42,984
You know it. I know it.
Vegetable Lasagne here knows it.
262
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:45,563
Please, please.
I don't want to get involved.
263
00:13:46,017 --> 00:13:49,949
I hope a giant mountain rises out of
the ocean and we ram right into it...
264
00:13:50,021 --> 00:13:51,580
and end this whole thing.
265
00:13:51,648 --> 00:13:53,372
Oh, God.
266
00:14:05,203 --> 00:14:07,461
How much longer you gonna be?
I'm starving here.
267
00:14:07,538 --> 00:14:09,298
Just a few more squirts...
268
00:14:09,374 --> 00:14:11,466
because I gotta stay juicy.
269
00:14:11,542 --> 00:14:13,765
That smell.
270
00:14:13,836 --> 00:14:16,724
- It's still with you, huh?
- Oh, yeah, it's baked on in.
271
00:14:16,798 --> 00:14:18,273
Put another stick of butter in.
272
00:14:18,341 --> 00:14:20,149
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Would you?
273
00:14:20,218 --> 00:14:23,687
Yeah. Stir it up so it'll melt.
274
00:14:26,391 --> 00:14:28,282
Oh, yeah.
275
00:14:28,518 --> 00:14:29,732
That feels good.
276
00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:35,289
Yeah, now I'm simmering.
277
00:14:36,526 --> 00:14:39,496
I'll meet you at the coffee shop.
278
00:14:40,071 --> 00:14:42,496
- Good morning, George.
- Good morning, sir.
279
00:14:42,573 --> 00:14:44,713
Is there something wrong
with your other leg?
280
00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:47,422
What? No, no.
Just the old handicap acting up.
281
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:50,513
But your cane's on the wrong side.
282
00:14:50,581 --> 00:14:52,224
Oh, well. That's...
283
00:14:52,333 --> 00:14:55,351
That's just because we're standing
on opposite sides.
284
00:14:56,087 --> 00:14:58,061
Yeah, see, when we met...
285
00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:00,473
I was over there
and you were over here...
286
00:15:00,550 --> 00:15:05,027
so the image was reversed.
Like in a mirror. You see?
287
00:15:06,222 --> 00:15:09,489
See, this looks right to you,
doesn't it?
288
00:15:09,934 --> 00:15:11,232
Yeah, I guess.
289
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:13,202
But, see, here.
290
00:15:13,271 --> 00:15:14,746
Right.
291
00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:16,112
Wrong.
292
00:15:16,190 --> 00:15:17,701
Right.
293
00:15:17,775 --> 00:15:19,417
Wrong. Right.
294
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:23,535
- Right. Wrong.
- Will you stop it, George? Just stop it.
295
00:15:23,614 --> 00:15:26,715
I think I can see
what's going on here.
296
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,974
Well, you're not gonna believe
what happened.
297
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:47,654
You mugged Steven Hawking?
298
00:15:48,973 --> 00:15:51,991
Play Now thinks
I got problems in both legs.
299
00:15:52,060 --> 00:15:54,532
My own personal Rascal, Jerry.
300
00:15:54,604 --> 00:15:56,531
On the house.
301
00:16:00,068 --> 00:16:02,659
It must comforting to know
you'll be going to hell...
302
00:16:02,737 --> 00:16:04,664
at no more
than three miles an hour.
303
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,414
- Hello?
- Jerry.
304
00:16:08,493 --> 00:16:10,170
Hey, Laney. How's the trip going?
305
00:16:10,244 --> 00:16:11,424
Oh, it's awfu/.
306
00:16:11,746 --> 00:16:14,847
This trip was a huge mistake.
307
00:16:14,958 --> 00:16:16,089
Huge.
308
00:16:16,167 --> 00:16:19,932
- Please stop shouting. I can't take it.
- Who's that?
309
00:16:20,004 --> 00:16:22,263
- It's Vegetable Lasagne.
- Who?
310
00:16:22,340 --> 00:16:24,433
Vegetable Lasagne.
311
00:16:24,509 --> 00:16:25,937
My name is Magnus.
312
00:16:26,010 --> 00:16:29,064
Shut up or I'// snap you in ha/f
and stuff you in the overhead.
313
00:16:29,138 --> 00:16:32,109
Get me some duty-free Kahlúa.
314
00:16:32,433 --> 00:16:35,024
- How was the trip?
- Sounded good.
315
00:16:35,103 --> 00:16:37,029
Well, gotta motor.
316
00:16:37,105 --> 00:16:40,289
If you got juice left, you might
wanna roll by the showcase tonight.
317
00:16:40,775 --> 00:16:42,868
You're still going on in front
of Bania, huh?
318
00:16:42,944 --> 00:16:46,413
That's right. And I'll tell you what,
I'm feeling a little off.
319
00:16:46,489 --> 00:16:47,869
What are you talking about?
320
00:16:49,492 --> 00:16:51,419
- You're not.
- That's right.
321
00:16:51,494 --> 00:16:52,757
I'm taking a dive.
322
00:16:52,829 --> 00:16:54,921
- You're throwing the set?
- I'm laying down.
323
00:16:54,998 --> 00:16:59,676
Then we'll see how he does, up there,
without all the assistance.
324
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,809
Listen, Jerry, with all due respect...
325
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:05,685
Bania's voice is the voice
of a new generation.
326
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:07,103
My generation.
327
00:17:07,176 --> 00:17:10,064
- We're four months apart.
- Nevertheless.
328
00:17:10,888 --> 00:17:13,277
His time has come.
329
00:17:15,059 --> 00:17:17,911
Now, if you will kindly help me
unwedge my front wheel...
330
00:17:17,979 --> 00:17:19,241
I'll be on my way.
331
00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:29,626
Butter.
332
00:17:29,699 --> 00:17:31,210
Kramer.
333
00:17:31,576 --> 00:17:34,428
Butter. Kramer.
334
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:45,889
Hey, buddy.
335
00:17:50,261 --> 00:17:51,772
Jerry, what are you doing?
336
00:17:51,846 --> 00:17:54,484
George tells me
you're gonna throw your set?
337
00:17:54,557 --> 00:17:55,986
That's right, Choochie.
338
00:17:56,059 --> 00:17:58,484
Let's see how Bania
does without the cushy time slot.
339
00:17:58,561 --> 00:18:01,117
Ladies and gentlemen,
Jerry Seinfeld.
340
00:18:01,189 --> 00:18:02,700
You'll excuse me.
341
00:18:02,774 --> 00:18:04,747
Whoa, man.
342
00:18:07,904 --> 00:18:11,040
Hey, everybody,
who's ready to laugh?
343
00:18:12,742 --> 00:18:15,713
And what's the deal
with lamp shades?
344
00:18:15,787 --> 00:18:17,511
I mean, if it's a lamp...
345
00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:19,174
why do you want shade?
346
00:18:23,044 --> 00:18:25,018
And what's with people getting sick?
347
00:18:25,088 --> 00:18:26,812
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
348
00:18:27,799 --> 00:18:29,808
I mean, what's the deal with cancer?
349
00:18:29,884 --> 00:18:31,395
I have cancer.
350
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:34,737
Tough crowd.
351
00:18:38,768 --> 00:18:40,861
Hey. Hey.
352
00:18:41,145 --> 00:18:43,321
You dented my ride.
353
00:18:44,315 --> 00:18:47,582
What you got there, the four volt?
354
00:18:47,902 --> 00:18:49,033
I did you a favour.
355
00:18:49,112 --> 00:18:51,881
How about I do you a favour
upside your head?
356
00:18:53,408 --> 00:18:56,177
- Oh, yeah?
- Oh, yeah.
357
00:18:59,580 --> 00:19:01,009
Hey.
358
00:19:02,083 --> 00:19:04,591
Get the bikes.
359
00:19:08,631 --> 00:19:10,475
Ouch.
360
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:12,274
Well, that wasn't so bad.
361
00:19:12,635 --> 00:19:14,443
What are you talking about?
I bombed.
362
00:19:14,512 --> 00:19:16,439
No, you had some good stuff.
363
00:19:16,514 --> 00:19:18,108
The cancer bit.
364
00:19:19,517 --> 00:19:21,195
It was edgy. It was not my thing.
365
00:19:21,269 --> 00:19:23,243
But some of those people,
they liked it.
366
00:19:23,313 --> 00:19:26,248
- Like who?
- Well, that guy who yelled out.
367
00:19:26,316 --> 00:19:27,874
He had cancer.
368
00:19:27,942 --> 00:19:30,580
And laughter is the best medicine.
369
00:19:31,696 --> 00:19:33,076
Hey, sorry, Kenny.
370
00:19:33,156 --> 00:19:34,964
Guess you got your work
cut out for you.
371
00:19:35,033 --> 00:19:37,624
Ladies and gentlemen,
Kenny Bania.
372
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:40,591
Where were you?
373
00:19:40,663 --> 00:19:42,423
Jerry, he could have used your laugh.
374
00:19:42,498 --> 00:19:44,306
He was a big turkey up there.
375
00:19:44,375 --> 00:19:45,590
Turkey?
376
00:19:45,668 --> 00:19:47,975
A big, fat turkey.
377
00:19:48,046 --> 00:19:49,604
I'm sorry I missed that.
378
00:19:50,882 --> 00:19:53,520
I'll tell you, he worked so hard
and then he just blows...
379
00:19:55,386 --> 00:19:56,945
What is this? Oregano?
380
00:20:01,309 --> 00:20:02,440
Look at me.
381
00:20:02,518 --> 00:20:04,860
I'm all covered
in oregano and parmesan...
382
00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:07,160
and it's sticking
because of the butter.
383
00:20:09,025 --> 00:20:10,288
Look at me.
384
00:20:12,904 --> 00:20:14,118
Hold this.
385
00:20:14,489 --> 00:20:16,332
What is this? Parsley?
386
00:20:19,077 --> 00:20:21,335
The sweet stench of failure.
387
00:20:21,412 --> 00:20:24,762
He bit me. Get off of me.
388
00:20:25,124 --> 00:20:26,683
Get off me.
389
00:20:38,763 --> 00:20:40,571
Come on.
390
00:20:41,432 --> 00:20:44,533
That stupid two-hour battery.
391
00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:46,286
Now I've got you.
392
00:20:51,693 --> 00:20:52,872
George?
393
00:20:53,277 --> 00:20:54,706
Your legs.
394
00:20:58,866 --> 00:21:01,006
Are you a religious man, sir?
395
00:21:01,077 --> 00:21:02,375
No.
396
00:21:05,623 --> 00:21:07,217
- Eat hickory.
- No.
397
00:21:10,795 --> 00:21:12,686
Hey, Jerry. Did you see it?
398
00:21:12,755 --> 00:21:14,647
Ouch.
399
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:17,398
Kenny, there you are.
400
00:21:17,468 --> 00:21:20,486
Jay Chermack
and Stu Crespi from NBC.
401
00:21:20,555 --> 00:21:24,071
- Listen, Kenny, really funny out there.
- What?
402
00:21:24,142 --> 00:21:26,448
That thing you did,
the two guys running through?
403
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:28,695
I love stuff
you don't have to think about.
404
00:21:29,605 --> 00:21:30,737
Give us a call.
405
00:21:30,815 --> 00:21:33,584
We wanna be
in the Kenny Bania business.
406
00:21:33,651 --> 00:21:35,910
By the way, Jerry,
the suspenders...
407
00:21:35,987 --> 00:21:37,498
a little hackey.
408
00:21:39,741 --> 00:21:40,955
How about that, Jerry?
409
00:21:41,034 --> 00:21:43,672
First you had a pilot on NBC
and now I'll have one.
410
00:21:43,745 --> 00:21:45,588
Looks like I'm following you again.
411
00:21:45,663 --> 00:21:47,388
Oh, I'm gonna puke.
412
00:21:47,457 --> 00:21:49,514
Puke? That's a funny word.
413
00:21:50,001 --> 00:21:51,761
Can I use that?
414
00:22:02,764 --> 00:22:04,940
This has been the worst month
of my life...
415
00:22:05,016 --> 00:22:07,274
and if I never see you again
it'll be too soon.
416
00:22:07,352 --> 00:22:08,483
Ditto.
417
00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:11,330
- Oh, that's original.
- Go to hell.
418
00:22:14,817 --> 00:22:16,376
86th and Broadway, please.
419
00:22:16,778 --> 00:22:18,835
I'm sorry, lady,
there's a cab shortage.
420
00:22:18,905 --> 00:22:21,578
The transit police
are making everyone share.
421
00:22:24,202 --> 00:22:25,630
Oh, no.
422
00:22:26,996 --> 00:22:28,472
Hello.
423
00:22:28,539 --> 00:22:29,754
Oh, no.
424
00:22:29,832 --> 00:22:31,640
I'm sorry.
425
00:22:31,709 --> 00:22:33,138
Oh, no.
426
00:22:34,128 --> 00:22:37,478
No!
30394
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