Original subtitles

So here's what you missed on Glee:

Kurt's trying to get used

to another school, and Will's trying to get used to the fact

that Emma went to Vegas with her boyfriend

- and came home married. - I'm happy for you.

Brittany thinks Artie's the best boyfriend ever.

You're magic, Brittany.

Which is what Rachel used to think about Finn.

But then she learned this secret about him and Santana

- which made her super mad. - Do you think she's prettier than me?

- Don't answer that. - So she made out with Puck,

- which made Finn super mad. - I'm done with you!

Because his girlfriends are always making out with Puck.

Boyfriend troubles. I got that covered.

Considering I'm usually

the cause of them, I'd say I'm an expert.

It's like a thing. And that's what you missed on Glee.

(school bell ringing)

- Hey, Will. - Hey.

Are we okay?

You know, we haven't really talked

since I told you about me and Carl.

I mean, we haven't talked at all.

Are you avoiding me?

Not at all.

So, what are you doing for Christmas this year?

Just a little quiet time alone this year.

Will, you can't spend Christmas by yourself. That's horrible.

Look, um, Carl and I are having a big Christmas Eve party.

Please at least stop by.

Well, thanks, Emma, that's very sweet of you guys, but...

I think it's best if we just

keep things separate for a while.

Yeah, okay.

BEISTE: Okay, educators, gather around.

It's time to pick your Secret Santa.

Everybody's name is in the tub.

You get who you get, and you don't get upset, all right?

(staff murmuring)

(school bell ringing)

BRITTANY: There.

Last year, I left my stocking up over Christmas vacation,

and an entire family of mice started living in it.

Their Christmas gift to each other was rabies.

I told my parents that I only want one thing

for Christmas this year:

Stop friend requesting me on Facebook.

What are you asking Santa for?

- I'm sorry? - Artie...

The roads to the North Pole are getting treacherous.

You need to write your letter to Santa really fast

and get it in the mail today.

And remember, even the smallest envelope is heavy for an elf.

No way.

Synced By YesCool www.addic7ed.com

♪ We're on the island of misfit toys. ♪

♪ Here we don't want to stay. ♪

♪ We want to travel with Santa Claus ♪

♪ in his magic sleigh. ♪

♪ A pack full of toys means a sack full of joys ♪

♪ for millions of girls and for millions of boys... ♪

♪ When Christmas Day is here. ♪

♪ The most wonderful day of the year. ♪

♪ A jack-in-the-box waits for children to shout... ♪

♪"Wake up! Don't you know that it's time to come out?" ♪

♪ When Christmas Day is here. ♪

♪ The most wonderful day of the year. ♪

♪ Toys galore, scattered on the floor. ♪

♪ There's no room for more. ♪

♪ And it's all because of Santa Claus. ♪

♪ A scooter for Jimmy. ♪

QUINN: ♪ A dolly for Sue. ♪

♪ The kind that will even say... ♪

♪ "How do you do?" ♪

♪ When Christmas Day is here. ♪

♪ The most wonderful day of the year. ♪

How would you like to be a spotted elephant?

Or a choo-choo with square wheels on your caboose?

Or a water pistol that shoots... jelly?

We're all misfits!

♪ If we're on the island of unwanted toys, ♪

♪ we'll miss all the fun with the girls and the boys ♪

♪ when Christmas Day is here. ♪

♪ The most wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, ♪

♪ wonderful day of the year! ♪

Hey, guys. What's this?

Oh, we're trying to get into the Christmas spirit, Mr. Shue.

Christmas is totally my favorite holiday. And check out

this awesome tree! I found it on the side of the road.

It must have fell off some guy's car.

- And the ornaments? - The guy who lives next door

finally killed off his elderly mother. And when they carted him off,

they left the house, like, wide open, so...

I think she was a holiday hoarder.

Uh... And the presents?

I lifted them from a display at the mall. But don't worry. They're empty.

Guys, look, I appreciate the effort,

but this isn't what Christmas is supposed to be like.

For us, it is.

This tree is like a mascot for Glee Club.

We won Sectionals two years in a row,

and according to everyone at this school, we still suck.

...this reindeer sweater last year...

- Ooh! - Ho-Ho-Ho, losers.

Haha!

I'm pretty sure they just added food coloring

to real slush from the parking lot.

You can eat that, you know.

No, no. I am not

gonna let you guys throw yourselves a pity party.

Look, I'm the first one to say that things haven't turned out

exactly how I would have liked them to this year, but Christmas

is all about being grateful for the things that did.

I thought that was Thanksgiving.

And this year, Glee Club is going to lend a hand

to the McKinney-Vento Homeless Children and Youth program

- right here in Lima. - How are we going to do that?

The only way we know how: By singing about it.

We're going to go classroom to classroom,

caroling, to raise money for McKinney-Vento.

Wait, classrooms in this school? With like, students in them?

Well, if there are no students in them, there will be no one

to put money in the collection box while we sing.

We're gonna be killed.

No, guys, it's Christmas...

A time for miracles.

We got to try this.

Finn's right.

So let's start rehearsing.

This year, Glee Club's going full Santa.

♪ Haul out the holly. ♪

♪ Put up the tree before my spirit falls again! ♪

♪ Fill up the stocking. ♪

♪ I may be rushing things, but deck the halls again now... ♪

- You suck! - Who goes caroling with a band?

I'd seriously rather be learning.

♪ For we need a little Christmas... ♪

You're making me hate Christmas! ♪ Right this very minute... ♪

♪ Candles in the wind... ♪

(music stops) GIRL: Yeah, that's right, leave!

- You suck! I hate you! - FINN: Go, go, go!

RACHEL: I can't believe that that teacher

let those students speak to us like that.

I can't believe she threw her shoe at us.

I guess we're done caroling.

No, we're not, guys.

We can't let what just happened ruin our Christmas spirit.

Mr. Shue got us this beautiful tree to inspire us.

We're gonna practice now, and gear up for round two tomorrow.

Pretty soon, no one will bully us.

Santa Claus can do anything, and this year,

I asked for the Glee Club to stop getting picked on.

She's kidding, right?

Guys, this is serious. Listen up.

Brittany still believes in Santa Claus.

(stifled laughter)

- You cannot be serious. - Last week, Brittany believed a comb had magic powers.

- This is kind of a pattern. - QUINN: She's gonna find out sooner or later.

Would you mind, um...

- meeting me at the auditorium tomorrow at 4:00? - Sure.

- Okay, somebody needs to break the news to her. - Uh-uh. Don't look at me.

I mean, I'm cruel and all, but that's just hardcore.

Right! That's my point! Hear me out.

Remember when you were a kid, how excited you would get

when you would think about Santa Claus?

How awesome it was?

Christmas was the highlight of the year.

Why wouldn't you want to keep someone's world

magical for a little while longer?

- How? - I've got it all figured out.

Can I be honest?

I don't understand the difference between an elf and a slave.

(shouting)

I'm not sitting on that guy's lap.

Santas' laps are always really warm, and it's creepy.

We all have to sit on Santa's lap. If Brittany sees that we

all still believe, it will make her strong enough to withstand

all the Santa naysayers in the world.

Which is everyone over the age of six.

I'm pretty sure this isn't going to work.

That guy doesn't even look like Santa.

Trust me, all Brittany's gonna see is the suit.

She wants to believe in him.

Mercedes, get up there.

Go, Mercedes, go, Mercedes, go.

MERCEDES: I've been a very good girl, Santa.

I want a pony, and a doll that laughs and cries and...

(sniffs) One of us smells like McDonalds.

I would like Puckerman to love me. He's a fox.

I would also like sweet potato fries.

I want bling. I can't be any more specific than that.

Okay, wait, hold up.

Please tell me that is a roll of Certs in your pocket.

Do you have anything for stretch marks?

ChapStick. Lots of ChapStick.

I want Channing Tatum to stop being in stuff.

When does Asian Santa arrive?

Next.

Just know, you have rights.

SANTA: Ho, ho, ho!

- What's your name? - Brittany.

You've gotten really tan.

That's because at the North Pole there's a hole in the ozone.

(laughs) You're amazing.

I know you're really busy,

so I only want one thing for Christmas.

Do you see my boyfriend over there?

For Christmas, I want him to be able to walk.

You can do that, can't you, Santa?

Sure... I'm on it.

- Thank you so much, Santa. - Now we're screwed.

Now, remember, it has to be lush and romantic.

Why?

Because I am very specific when I give a gift.

You don't know how many kittens

I've given away because they haven't been just right.

So, do you like my winter wonderland?

Well, I don't really like artificial Christmas trees.

I like real ones.

They smell amazing. That's kind of the whole point.

Right.

Anyway...

Merry Christmas.

Being a Jew, I generally don't give Christmas gifts,

but considering how much you care about the holiday

I figured I'd make an exception.

Just... Read it. It's a note.

"The bearer of this note is entitled to one song

of Rachel Berry's choosing, sung to him or her with love."

At least it's not a kitten.

- Come sit. - I... I don't think so.

I know what you're trying to do, and it's not going to work.

Look, not letting me apologize isn't fair.

I've let you apologize plenty, and I know

that Christmas is supposed to be about forgiveness but...

I'm not ready to forgive you, so please stop trying to make me.

- Should we, like, leave? - No.

Whether it's a heart attack or heartbreak,

just like on Broadway, the show must go on.

Besides, the AV Club worked so hard on the snow.

♪ Greeting cards have all been sent. ♪

♪ The Christmas rush is through. ♪

♪ But I still have one wish to make: ♪

♪ A special one for you. ♪

♪ Merry Christmas, darling. ♪

♪ We're apart, that's true. ♪

♪ But I can dream, and in my dreams, ♪

♪ I'm Christmasing with you. ♪

♪ Holidays are joyful. ♪

♪ There's always something new. ♪

♪ But every day's a holiday when I'm near to you. ♪

♪ Oh, the lights on my tree, ♪

♪ I wish you could see. ♪

♪ I wish it every day. ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah... ♪

♪ And the logs on the fire fill me with desire ♪

♪ to see you and to say ♪

♪ that I wish you Merry Christmas. ♪ ♪ Merry Christmas, darling... ♪

♪ Happy New Year, too. ♪

♪ I've just one wish on this Christmas Eve: ♪

♪ On this Christmas Eve... ♪

♪ I wish I were with you. ♪

♪ I wish I were... ♪

♪ with... ♪

♪ You... ♪ ♪ Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas. ♪

♪ Merry Christmas... ♪

♪ Merry Christmas... ♪ ♪ Merry Christmas... ♪

♪ Darling... ♪ ♪ Darling... ♪

(sighs)

(thud)

Hey.

You scared me.

Good. Because I'm actually Marley's ghost, and

(whispers): I'm here to tell you

to stop studying so hard.

KURT: Hmm. What's with the boom box?

I need you to sing with me. Well, rehearse with me.

I got a gig singing "Baby, It's Cold Outside"

in the King's Island Christmas Spectacular.

Ah, a personal favorite.

Too bad they'd never let us sing it together.

I mean, as two... artists.

Mmm. So you going to help me out here?

Anything to get me to stop reading about Charlemagne.

Very good, then.

("Baby, It's Cold Outside" begins)

♪ I really can't stay. ♪

♪ But baby, it's cold outside. ♪

♪ I've got to go away. ♪

♪ But baby, it's cold outside. ♪

♪ This evening has been... ♪

♪ Been hoping that you'd drop in. ♪

♪ So very nice. ♪ ♪ I'll hold your hands, ♪

♪ they're just like ice. ♪

♪ My mother will start to worry. ♪

♪ Beautiful, what's your hurry? ♪

♪ My father will be pacing the floor. ♪

♪ Listen to the fireplace roar. ♪

♪ So really, I'd better scurry. ♪

♪ Beautiful, please don't hurry. ♪

♪ But maybe just half a drink more. ♪

♪ Put some records on while I pour. ♪

♪ The neighbors might faint. ♪ ♪ Baby, it's bad out there. ♪

♪ Say, what's in this drink? ♪

♪ No cabs to be had out there. ♪

♪ I wish I knew how... ♪ ♪ Your eyes are like starlight now. ♪

♪ To break this spell. ♪

♪ I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell. ♪

♪ I ought to say "No, no, no, sir." ♪

♪ Mind if I move in closer? ♪

♪ At least I'm gonna say that I tried. ♪

♪ What's the sense in hurting my pride? ♪

♪ I really can't stay. ♪

♪ Baby, don't hold out. ♪

BOTH: ♪ Oh, but it's cold outside. ♪

♪ I've gotta get home. ♪

♪ But baby, you'd freeze out there. ♪

♪ Say, lend me a coat. ♪

♪ It's up to your knees out there. ♪

♪ You've really been grand. ♪

♪ I thrill when you touch my hand. ♪

♪ But don't you see? ♪

♪ How can you do this thing to me? ♪

♪ There's bound to be talk tomorrow. ♪

♪ Think of my life-long sorrow... ♪

♪ At least there will be plenty implied. ♪

♪ If you got pneumonia and died. ♪

♪ I really can't stay. ♪

♪ Get over that hold out. ♪

♪ Ooh, baby, it's cold... ♪ ♪ Oh, but it's cold... ♪

♪ Outside! ♪ ♪ Outside! ♪

I think you're ready.

Well, for the record,

you are much better than that girl's going to be.

Hey.

Mr. Schuester.

(both chuckling)

Oh, good to see you, Kurt.

Someone special?

No, just a friend.

But on the upside, I am in love with him,

and he's actually gay. I call that progress.

(sighs) How you doing?

Classes are harder, but the kids are kinder.

But I miss you guys a lot, though.

So what brings you here?

Are you looking for teaching at a place

where pencils aren't primarily used as weapons?

Actually, I need some holiday help.

I don't know if you know this,

but I am really bad at Christmas shopping.

Oh, honey, just what I wanted.

Jumper cables.

This year, I drew Sue in the office pool Secret Santa.

And I tell you, I can't think of anything good.

And you are so great at shopping,

- I thought I'd... - I have the perfect idea.

(school bell ringing)

I think I can tell who wrapped that.

Who's it for?

Oh, Sue.

I drew her as my Secret Santa.

Wait a minute. That's not possible.

- Sue's my Secret Santa. - No, Sue's my Secret Santa.

I'm everybody's Secret Santa.

Yeah, you can just drop those wherever.

You rigged Secret Santa?

How? It was my idea.

Well, you're not the only person at this school

who consumes protein powder by the tubful.

Remember when I told you I was taking

all those science textbooks to an exorcist?

Well, that's what we call a diversion.

You filled your tub with your name only.

You're a regular Agatha Christie,

except even more sexless.

See, people, I hate Christmas, but I love presents.

Ah, look at this.

It's a track suit

with a fur-lined hood for the winter months.

Thanks, fella.

That was Kurt's idea.

Ah-ah-ah, William.

These gifts are legally mine.

Now, you may or may not be aware of this,

but I'm an honorary officer of the Lima Police Department,

and if you take my property out of my office,

I will pick up that phone and have you arrested for theft.

We are not going to let you steal Christmas, Sue.

- You're not going to get away with this. - I think I already have.

William, Elmo, you,

get the hell out of my office.

I just got to say, this is a really expensive blender.

It's top of the line.

(school bell ringing)

At ease, Becky.

(school bell ringing)

I'm gonna stop you right here. Why are you wearing that hat?

Because it's Christmas and it's fun.

No, it's offensive. You're wearing a Santa Claus hat,

and yet you're handing me no gifts. I need gifts.

- You want my hat? - It's a start.

Coach, we've got a problem.

WILL: Thanks, guys.

Those go under the tree in the choir room.

Plop it down there. Thank you.

Can you believe it?

Six different people got Sue a Shake Weight.

Mmm.

Becky, go into the glove box of my LeCar

and bring me my tear gas. Then, get me Gloria Allred.

Merry Christmas, Sue.

As you can see, we're repo'ing your gifts.

Most can't be returned

since you inexplicably opened all of them.

And I licked each one so no one would touch them.

So the staff has agreed to donate them

to the homeless kids at McKinney-Vento.

I mean, what is your problem anyway?

Were you one of those kids

who never got presents at Christmas?

Yes, Dr. Laura. As a matter of fact, I was,

and I'm making up for it now.

Face it, Sue. We won.

This will not stand.

I have legal rights to those gifts.

You know what, Sue? You don't.

I checked with Human Resources,

and because you misrepresented yourself,

it is within our legal right to take back these gifts.

Ho, ho, ho.

(Beiste chuckling)

You know what you are, Sue?

You're a grinch.

Are you guys punking me?

I thought we were cool after you sang me that song.

This is serious, Coach.

Remember when you were a kid, the way you felt

when you came downstairs on Christmas morning,

seeing that Santa had come?

I do love Santa Claus.

One year, I asked him for a full set of free weights.

Kept asking my dad, "How did Santy get

those 75-pound dumbbells down the chimney?"

Should have suspected something

when Dad was in traction until the end of January.

You've got the perfect Santa body type.

Watch it, Puckerman.

Look, we rented the suit.

All you need to do is put it on.

Just tell her that you can't give her

the gift of me walking this year.

That seems so harsh and not at all like Santa.

She asked Santa for the impossible:

Me walking again.

If Christmas morning comes around and I'm not

dancing in Glee Club rehearsal with no personal explanation

from her idol, she's going to lose faith in Old Saint Nick,

and we can't have that.

Tell her the elves are working on it.

Elves have awesome cord blood for stem cell research,

but these advances are a few years away.

Okay.

Great. And then we need you to break into her house.

- What? No, no way! - The back door will be open.

I talked to her parents. They really want her to believe, too.

(school bell ringing)

BECKY: Look, Coach.

The janitor staff got you hideous gloves.

SUE: Give me those.

They'll come in handy.

No fingerprints.

Suit up, Becky.

I don't understand why we have to dress up, Coach.

Well, this way, if anyone sees us,

we'll have plausible deniability.

I repeat, you are a "rein-dog."

Trust me, they're real.

How am I looking?

Fantastic, Coach.

Yeah, you know, Becky,

my mastery of camouflage is the only thing

that kept me from being court-martialed

after that My Lai misunderstanding.

Copy that.

Now, let's go get what is rightfully mine.

Schuester thinks I'm a grinch,

well, that's exactly what he's gonna get.

("You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch" playing)

(wheels squeaking)

♪ You're a mean one, Sue the Grinch. ♪

♪ You really are a heel. ♪

♪ You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, ♪

♪ Sue the Grinch. ♪

♪ You're a bad banana with a... A greasy black peel. ♪

♪ You're a monster, Sue the Grinch. ♪

♪ Your heart's an empty hole. ♪

♪ Your brain is full of spiders. ♪

♪ You've got garlic in your soul, Sue the Grinch. ♪

♪ I wouldn't touch you with a 39-and-a-half-foot pole. ♪

♪ You're a foul one, Sue the Grinch. ♪

♪ You're a nasty, wasty skunk. ♪

♪ Your heart is full of unwashed socks. ♪

♪ Your soul is full of gunk, Sue the Grinch. ♪

Becky, load it up.

Santa?

Why, Brittany.

What are you doing here?

I'm bringing a gift to put under the tree for the homeless kids.

It's a dollhouse.

At least their dolls won't be homeless.

What are you doing, Santa?

Well, you see, Brittany, uh, one of the lights

on the tree isn't working.

So I'm bringing it back home to my workshop.

I'll fix it up there, and I'll bring it back here.

Oh.

Shuffle on home.

(wheels squeaking)

(school bell ringing)

(whistling)

They took everything.

Including all of Sue's Secret Santa gifts

we were gonna give to the homeless kids.

RACHEL: Only further proof

that everyone in this school hates us no matter what we do.

It's not the school.

It's Sue. She did this.

It wasn't Sue, it was Santa.

He said a light was out on the tree, he'd fix everything.

We just need to let him do his thing.

Okay.

Are you sure

Santa was a boy and not a girl, Brittany?

I swear on my life.

Santa's a boy. Everybody knows that.

It was probably one of the boys on the football team.

I guess it wasn't Sue.

So our tree is gone.

So our presents are missing.

Santa's probably fixing any dents or chips as we speak.

FINN: All around the world today,

way worse things have happened to people than this.

Sorry, but I'm not going to let this get us down.

'Tis the season.

I agree. Come on, guys, let's clean this up.

Come on. (claps)

Finn.

You and I are the leaders of this club.

All right, we need to fix this.

We have to put everything that's happened behind us

and save Christmas for the Glee Club.

I want to make this right.

(school bell ringing)

You smell kind of funny.

Oh, I, um,

I put this on for the car ride over.

I know how much you love the smell of Christmas pine.

But guess I don't really need it

now that we have the real thing.

It's so cold out.

It's cuddle weather.

It's unseasonably warm, actually, for this time of year, but, uh...

I just, I really wanted to come here with you.

I mean, the Christmas tree is the foundation of Christmas.

It's the hearth of the Christmas home.

Without it, there wouldn't be anywhere to hang the ornaments

or put the presents under.

Yeah, yeah.

Whenever we put the tree up,

I always knew Christmas was really here.

This one's too small.

- But, uh... - Oh, I love this song.

It's, uh, it's my favorite Christmas song.

It's Wham!

Yeah, yeah.

Cool.

Um...

I'm going to look down this row of Frasier firs.

Maybe you could check out the Douglases

and I'll meet you at the end.

Okay.

(Wham!'s "Last Christmas" playing)

♪ Last Christmas I gave you my heart, ♪

♪ but the very next day, you gave it away. ♪

♪ This year, to save me from tears, ♪

♪ I'll give it to someone special. ♪

♪ Once bitten and twice shy, ♪

♪ I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye. ♪

♪ Tell me, baby, do you recognize me? ♪

♪ Oh... ♪ ♪ Well, it's been a year... ♪

♪ It doesn't surprise me. ♪

♪ Christmas... ♪

♪ I wrapped it up and sent it ♪

♪ with a note saying ♪

♪ "I love you," I meant it. ♪

♪ Now I know what a fool I've been. ♪

♪ But if you kissed me now, ♪

♪ I know you'd fool me again. ♪

♪ Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, ♪

♪ And the very next day, you gave it away. ♪

♪ Gave it away... ♪

♪ This year, to save me from tears, ♪

♪ I'll give it to someone special. ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh... ♪

♪ Last Christmas, I gave you my heart... ♪

♪ Oh, oh... ♪

♪ You gave me away... ♪ ♪ Oh... ♪

♪ I'll give it to someone special. ♪

Last year, for Christmas,

I asked Santa to give me you.

It's not last year anymore.

It's Christmas, Finn. It's time for you to forgive me.

No, I can't.

Okay, this is wrong. I shouldn't...

I shouldn't have brought you here.

You messed me up, Rachel.

Can't you see how screwed-up I am about this?

I've had two girlfriends, and both of them have cheated on me.

Maybe you can ask Santa again for me next year.

I'm officially breaking up with you.

This was my dad's.

He'd want you to do it. For those kids.

This was my uncle's.

It's the first thing I ever stole, actually.

I'm going to look terrible.

Shut up. With your bone structure,

you could rock the Rosemary's Baby look

and still look good.

I'm going to look like Jackie Chan.

If Barbra can pull off a bob, so can I.

Enough yapping, let's do this.

Whoa! Whoa! What are you guys doing?

We're going all "Gift of the Magi" to raise money

to buy homeless kids those school supplies.

The guys are gonna sell their watches

and the girls are gonna sell off their hair.

- You can't do that. - Oh, no, it's cool.

Most of this isn't mine, anyways.

No, I mean, that's not the answer.

There are other ways to raise money at Christmastime.

No, but we tried caroling, and it didn't work.

Wait, I thought you and Finn were getting us a new tree.

We went, but Finn bailed before we could get one.

Nice Christmas spirit, Finn.

WILL: Wait!

Guys, no more fighting.

(sighs)

Have any of you ever actually read "Gift of the Magi"?

None of you?

You don't have to read "Gift of the Magi."

everybody knows what it's about.

Well, if you actually read it,

you'd know what it's about.

Yeah, I know what it's about: Life freakin' sucks.

Actually, you're right.

The first Christmas you remember having

is the greatest day of your life.

Your family's all together,

there are loads of presents, cookies.

The magic is alive and well.

But before you know it, you grow up.

Work and school and girlfriends take over

and Christmas becomes more of an obligation,

a reminder of what's lost instead of what's possible.

And all of the trees and the presents

and even the mistletoe can't change that.

And then when you get to my age...

you're so desperate to get that magic back,

you'd do anything

to be able to feel

how you did that first Christmas.

So what should we do?

Put your scissors down, put your watches back on.

We're gonna go out and find some people

who really need some Christmas spirit,

and we are gonna sing for them.

Get a good night's rest, Ken, you're gonna need it.

Barbie took the early flight from Tampa.

(clattering)

Santa?

But it's too early.

Well, you know what they say.

Early's late if you make tomorrow yesterday.

Awesome.

You know, Brittany,

I was in the neighborhood, doing a dry run.

I have so many houses to visit on Christmas Eve,

I got to make sure it goes off without a hitch.

How about you come sit with ol' Santy?

(chuckles): Okay!

How about you sit next to Santy instead?

Santy's just a little stinky.

(laughs) He needs a good ol'

sponge bath from Mrs. Claus.

(chuckles)

Brittany, do you remember what you asked me for for Christmas?

Yeah, I asked for Artie to be able to walk.

Is there anything else that you want?

I mean, like, anything?

No.

Well, see, Santa's trying his best,

but that one's a little hard.

But you're magic.

Sometimes what Santa wants to give

a good girl like you is patience,

because, believe it or not,

there are even some things that he can't manage.

You know,

there was a girl a little younger than you

and she was a little husky.

She was always asking Santy for the same thing:

To make her look more like the other girls.

She wasn't asking to be pretty or nothing.

But she just didn't want to stick out so much.

Santa just couldn't do it.

So instead Santa gave her patience.

And later on, that girl was...

Was glad that Santy didn't give her what she had asked him for.

She... She put being husky to good use.

Was her name Ricki Lake?

(sighs) The point is...

I don't think I'm going to be able to give you

what you're asking for, even though I'd like to.

- But, Santa... - I'm sorry, pumpkin.

It's... It's just not going to happen.

Aren't you going to go up the chimney?

On dry runs, Santy uses the Isuzu.

(school bell ringing)

What's going on?

I think I've lost the Christmas spirit.

It's Santa.

I don't know if I can tell you.

I used to believe that Santa could do anything.

If Santa isn't magical,

I don't even know if I want to believe anymore.

It isn't fair that you can't walk, Artie.

I feel so terrible.

Hey, look at me. I'm fine.

Hey, guys, we need you in the teachers' lounge.

Mr. Shue... Brittany's not feeling so good.

Santa thing.

If you don't mind, I think I'm going

to take her home, make sure she's okay.

Good idea. We'll make do without you.

(school bell ringing)

Hey, uh, so we're your students.

All year long you suffer through dealing with us.

I imagine having some of us in your classes

would slowly chip away at your hopes and dreams,

until the whole world just felt like a never-ending

- nightmare of pain... - Just get to the point, Finn.

Right. Uh, anyway, we're here today

to help raise money

for children that have a lot less than we do.

And I know some of us have had a hard Christmas,

but what we've come to learn is that no matter

how tough things get,

there isn't anything that more Santa

or a couple more jingle bells can't cure.

SUE: Well, Becky, we did it.

We got all my presents back.

And as satisfying as it is to have been

gifted enough rotisserie ovens to roast an entire hobo...

For me, the real joy of Christmas

was breaking the collective heart of the Glee Club.

(gentle melodic music playing)

What's that, Coach?

("Welcome, Christmas" playing)

♪ Fahoo fores, dahoo dores. ♪

♪ Welcome, Christmas, come this way. ♪

♪ Fahoo fores, dahoo dores. ♪

♪ Welcome, Christmas, Christmas Day. ♪

BOYS: ♪ Welcome, welcome, fahoo ramus. ♪

GIRLS: ♪ Welcome, welcome, dahoo, damus. ♪

ALL: ♪ Christmas Day is in our grasp, ♪

♪ so long as we have hands to clasp. ♪

♪ Fahoo fores, dahoo dores. ♪

♪ Welcome, Christmas, bring your cheer. ♪

♪ Fahoo fores, dahoo dores. ♪

♪ Welcome all Whos far and near. ♪

♪ Welcome, Christmas, fahoo ramus. ♪

♪ Welcome, Christmas, dahoo damus. ♪

♪ Christmastime will always be ♪

♪ just as long as we have glee. ♪

♪ Fahoo fores, dahoo dores. ♪

♪ Welcome, Christmas, bring your light. ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh... ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh... ♪

Christmas came anyway, Coach.

It's beautiful.

It is.

(school bell ringing)

How much did we raise?

210 bucks.

And that's after my cut.

I'm kidding.

Now that you're divorced

and Ms. Pillsbury married another guy,

I guess you'll be spending Christmas Eve alone.

Yes, Rachel, I am.

Well, I know how painful being alone can feel,

so if you want, you can come over to my house.

We're going to eat Chinese and watch The Main Event.

Thanks, Rachel. I think I'm going to pass.

Nothing wrong with being alone.

Artie.

(mechanical whirring)

(gasps)

It's called a ReWalk.

Some guy in Israel invented it.

I can't use it all the time, but...

Check me out.

(whirring)

Where did you get it?

BRITTANY: We went home and it was sitting under my Christmas tree.

How the hell did you afford that thing?

BRITTANY: I didn't buy it.

I didn't know what it was.

I thought it was a Transformer.

I assumed her dad got it for me,

but he has no idea where it came from.

He went to take a long poop, and when

he came back it was there.

So if no one we know bought it for you, then...

Santa brought it.

Santa.

Santa.

A real Christmas miracle.

(whirring)

(school bell ringing)

(fire crackling)

Hey, Will.

How...How did you get in here?

Oh, I had a key made ages ago.

How do you like your tree?

Uh, it's... It's... It's beautiful.

Wh... What's going on? What's with all the presents?

Well, you remember that old meanie who stole

all that stuff out of the choir room?

Well, she's sorry.

Really?

And what made her change her mind?

I don't know.

Call it a Christmas miracle and we'll leave it at that.

Now I know a lot of these gifts are for orphans or something,

but, uh... I got you something special.

It's okay, it's not going to explode.

I thought you might want to put all of us out of our misery

and shave off that Chia Pet.

Thanks, Sue.

The tree really does look great.

Well, Santa had some helpers.

(whistle blowing)

No one should be alone on Christmas Eve, Mr. Schuester.

SUE: Too much talking, lady, not enough trimming.

Come on, let's get some Christmas up in here.

I thought you hated the holidays.

No, I just hate you.

Merry Christmas, Sue.

Merry Christmas, Will.

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