All language subtitles for Costa Rican Summer 2009

...:::Lord Sadler:::...
lordsadler2012@gmail.com

Good morning, my queen.

Good morning, Ding-Dong.

I think today
can be a special one for you.

I think you're right, Pammy.

I found some backwash
from this one.

Nice.

Come on, Dinger,
I'm serious,

I sense a change coming,
something for the better.

Pammy, you're the only thing
that's good for me.

No, Dinger, something
really good for you.

Just be open to it.

So now you gotta go
to the other guy, huh?

Hey, come on, sweetie.
Don't be jealous.

You know you're my only
fully-interactive fantasy.

Just remember, carpe diem.

Carpe Diem.

God, I love it when
you talk dirty to me.

You are the sexiest thing that's ever
been on this beach.

We have waves,
palm trees, man.

My kind of school.

Yo. Whoa, who, who's this babe
right here?

Hi, handsome.
How are you?

You look beautiful.

Thank you.

Yeah, you're no Aunt Carla.
You got body karate.

That's Tasty.

And that's Doobie.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Those aren't names
for good students.

You know the drill.

Free room, board and tutoring
in exchange for some really hard work.

You could take a lesson from
our resident surf pro,

but unfortunately, he's a little
comatose these days.

You guys heard
of Dinger Doolittle?

Dinger Doolittle,
the former World Champ?

Yeah, the guy
used to be my hero.

Hm, now he'd be
in Lindsay Lohan's hero.

Hi, Carla.

Hi, girls.

I see the boys
are here.

We are going
swimming now,

so maybe after you unpack you
want to cool off? Ya?

Ya.

Okay, we go
unpack, yeah? Y eah.

We are going fishing
for Swedish fish.

Twenty, twenty-one.

Ready to play?

Ready.

Ya, you boys are such good
strong swimmers.

Yeah, wonderful.

You boys want
to play pool game?

Yeah.

Strip poker!

That is not
pool game.

Oh, with you and some plastic
cards, it is.

Yeah.

I am lnga.

I am Rikki.

I can move.

No need.

As long as you let me
read in peace.

You're not Swedish.

And you're not
Ietting me read in peace.

Sorry.

We were thinking about playing
Marco Polo. We against you.

Uh, okay. And we come
and grab you

Ya.

Okay, I'm in.

Yeah.

But I think this make
the game more fun.

Ya?

Ya.

Ya.

Oh.

Ya.

Ya.

Ya. Okay,
Iet's play it.

I could ask them to stop.

You could, but you won't.

You're a surfer.

Not exactly
in your character.

Bye.

Marco.

Polo.

Marco.

Polo.

Marco.

Marco.

Polo.

Marco.

Marco!

Polo.

Marco.

Marco.

Polo.

Marco.

Marco?

Polo.

Marco?

Polo.

Marco.

Polo.

Marco.

Polo.

Whoa.

Was I just dreaming?

Are you knuckleheads
ready to surf Costa Rica?

Whoo-hoo!

Bro', I think
I saw a mermaid.

Dude, those waves are
carved out of marble.

Dude, I can't believe how warm
this water is.

Told yo,
Costa Rica, baby,

I can't wait
to meet Dinger.

Hans.

Looks like you've got
a cocktail frank in there.

Or maybe it's a little
wiener schnitzel.

No, get outta here.
I'm serious.

You fuck-up. You.

I don't think Fedex even delivers
a package that small.

Forget school
and just surf.

Shred.

One day you'll learn about
priorities, Tasty,

life's not just about
catching waves.

Oh-ho.

That's the day
that Doobie and I

say, check, please. We're going
to pipeline heaven

in the sky.
Thank you

It's like surf
or die, brother.

Hey, guys. Let's go talk
to Dinger Doolittle.

Ah, Dinger.

Hey, Ding-Dong.

I think today could be a special
for one for you.

European men will no longer be allowed
to wear Speedos on the beach.

Thank God.

'Cause if I see another banana
hammock around here, l

I 'll never eat fruit again.

Whoa! Who the heck
are you squids?

We came
to meet... you.

We're helping
out Carla.

Now, that's a woman
that the Dinger

needs to get to know
up close and personal

'cause she is one
tasty tuna tartar.

She's a sexy
salmon surprise.

Just the classiest
clam I've ever- Oh.

Who are you again?

I'm Kyle. Her nephew.

Oh. Magnificent woman.

Upstanding character.

I mean, I've never even thought about
playing hiding the halibut with her,

or fondle the flounder, or grinding
the grouper on her-

Okay. Got it.
Got it.

Aunt Carla tell you about Brad
the Butt-munching butt-muncher?

No. Who
is that?

Some ex-surf pro's ass I used to kick
on the reg.

Now he inherited all of his daddy's dinero
and he bought up half this coast.

And you're aunt's falling
behind on her payments.

That's why she
needed the help.

Yep. Your Aunt Carla sure got her tit
in a ringer.

What?

Whoa. That was
just a metaphor.

I would never talk about your aunt's
gorgeous gua was like that.

I mean, with the ample size
of those merry melons,

I don't think I could even get
'em in a ringer.

What?

Who?

Hey, before Carla
has a titty tantrum,

check out this shit
I swiped from my dad.

Whoo-hoo!

All right.
Home brewed.

Dad keeps it in the garage refrigerator
at 38 degrees. Smell it.

Whoa.

Dude, it smells like gasoline
and vomit.

Right?

Old school
potent shit.

You know my dad used to be a pimp
in the '70s?

Nice.

He said this would set him up
for the takedown every time.

Yeah.

Would definitely take a girl down,
that's for sure.

Might kill one, too.

Yeah. Take it
down treasure Iane.

What do you
two have on?

It's his dad's
super pimp potion.

Well, it smells more
like gasoline and vomit.

See, it just
takes time

for it to work on hot babes like
you, you know.

Honey, I don't have enough time
in the day for that

Go shower before I hose
you off myself.

Yeah, but how are you gonna go crazy
for us with hot teacher desire?

Hamilton!

You wanna watch us
take a shower?

I'm, you can do it Iater.

# Everything's gonna
be alright

Sat back
and close my eyes #

Hey, bro',
sit down, man.

You know, you have real artists
out there, huh?

Ripping it up. I can feel it.
I can see it.

Man, that's what
brought me here.

Six months ago, dude,

working at a Pizza Hut,
making six bucks an hour.

And I came to this ledge,right, and looked
down and it was a long way to go.

And I just-

I chose to fly, man.

And if I was to sit
back on that ledge

and not jump,

I might have been
waiting a lifetime.

And a lifetime's
a Iong time to wait, bro'.

This is
a conscious revolution.

And know this,

# Everything's gonna
be alright

# Sat back
and closed my eyes

# And found the reason why

# I chose to fly

# Some things just
have to change

No, no, I said sell it. Man,
it's hot here, huh?

Okay. So this is
what I want, brother.

I want condominiums back here.
Remove all this stuff.

Dinger Doolittle?

Remove him, please.

Do you understand?

Hey, Brad.

Got my rent check, bro'?
I stuffed it in one of my bottles

and should be floating
your way in a few days.

Couldn't we just build
around this, sir? I mean-

No, no, no.
Did you hear what I said?

I said,
remove it all. Okay?

Dinger.

Pelican. 5:00.
Happy hour?

Beers on me, bro.

Mr. Taylor.

Later.

Dick.

Come on, let's get back
on top, Dinger.

Don't you think it's time to set some goals?
Stop drinking, get a job?

You know, maybe a shower?

Jeez. Can't we just stick
to the fantasy stuff, Pammy?

There's no need for you to go all
Hasselhoff on me.

We make a good team,
you and I, you know?

That's real
romantic, Brad.

All right.

Let me
get this straight.

I sleep with you,

I get to keep my motel.
I don't, you foreclose.

God. You make me sound
like such a beast.

You know what?
Maybe we got off on the wrong foot.

I mean, couldn't I maybe
be a romantic good guy?

Couldn't I be a man who's crazy about
you and sees a future together?

I mean, is it, is it that terrible
to explore the possibility?

Is it?

Uh-huh.

Everything all
right here?

You need us to do some kung fu
or anything like that?

Oh, we could totally
take him down.

Pow.

You guys, everything is fine.
This is Brad Taylor.

Brad Taylor?

That's right, man.

I had your poster. Potty trained
my puppy on it.

Whoa.

That's Dickwad Taylor

Exactly.

Ha-ha. Compliments galore today,
huh, boys?

You really
are good, man,

you just managed to always lose to
Dinger Doolittle.

Ah. And you must
be the nephew?

Dinger Doolittle might have gotten lucky
and won a few surf contests,

but he certainly didn't turn out too good
in the end, now, did he?

In fact, I think I can smell him
on the beach from here.

Look, I don't wanna do this. In fact,
I would be ecstatic for you to keep this place.

Let me prove it to you over dinner
tomorrow night.

Pick you up
at 7:00.

Come on.
What do you say?

Fine.

Great decision!

You see boys?
The good guys always win in the end. Hmm.

Whoa. Dickwad
was a good name.

If going to dinner
with Brad Taylor

means that I get
to keep this place

for another day,
another minute,

that's a small
price to pay.

I Iove this place.

Yeah, but he's such a jerk.

Tell me about it.

This place is cool.

It is cool.

Just ask your mother about her hapless
little sister.

I was a failure as a wife.
I was a failure as a teacher.

Apparently I'm about to be a failure
as a motel owner in paradise.

You haven't failed
as my coolest aunt.

You've always been that.

Thank you.

I just wish being a cool
aunt paid better.

All right. Enough about
my miserable life.

Stanford, huh?

Uh, mmm.

Is that about
that surfing dream

that your parents are so relieved
you gave up?

They're right.

I mean,

Dinger was the best and look
what happened to him.

Can't get sidetracked
trying to surf pro.

It's, it's Stanford.

It is Stanford.

But it's your life.

All right, I'm off to class.

You know, my friend,

I thought I couldn't reach my students
before and they were on planet Earth.

You have sent me
on a mission to Mars.

Uh, I know.

Thank you.

Dinger, Brad is taking
Carla to dinner tonight.

Brad? The butt-munching
butt-muncher?

Yeah, he wants to foreclose the hotel
if she doesn't, you know.

Play bury the barracuda?

Or tickle the tuna?

Dinger, she needs
your help.

My help?

Yeah. Brad hates you because you kicked
his ass on the surf tour.

Damn Skippy.

If you challenge him
to a surf contest,

he'll accept no matter
what the bet is.

I mean, look at you.
He, he's gotta think

you can barely stand,
much less surf.

Well, aren't you just the little
ego-booster from hell.

You know what?
Forget about me.

You challenge him
to a surf-off,

bet the hotel,
you win, she wins.

Why don't we just build a spaceship
and go to Pluto?

Are you gonna
help Carla or not?

Your Aunt Carla
is a goddess.

I'd lay down my life
for a woman like her.

And there's a time where she
might even have noticed.

Maybe the time is now.

You're the reason
I became a surfer.

Low blow, bro'.

Kid playing
the hero card.

Too bad Dinger
doesn't play cards.

You'd play a little strip poker with me,
wouldn't you, honey?

We have time
for a game or two.

It is getting awfully hot and
this shirt is suffocating.

Oh, yeah,the girls look
like they're over-heating.

You wanna play strip poker,
I'll play strip poker.

Well, just take my hand,
baby then we can play.

Go ahead. Take it.

I 'm sorry, bro'.

I don't know
what I 'm thinking.

You know what though?

I'm in.

Okay, guys. I really don't
have time for nonsense.

You wanna pass this test
that'll allow you

to repeat your senior
year at Malibu High, right?

Okay. Well, I've gone
over all the material

and I think
I could help you.

But you have to be willing
and open to learn.

Hamilton?

I would be more
open to learning

if you were more open to wearing
a bikini to class.

Whoa.

I'd be down for,
like, a G-string.

Okay. Lesson
number one, boys.

If you ever say anything sexually
related to me again,

you're on the first
plane back home. Comprende?

Si.

And you, Richard.

You're gonna omit the word
"whoa," from your vocabulary.

Wh-

No! One more time

and you're outta here.

I can see why you quit teaching,
Ms. Terminator.

No wonder you and your friend are on
the way to a special school.

You two are like
the village idiots.

I 'm sure it's really cool
when you were young.

But right now,
it's really pathetic.

She's a horrible teacher.

Whoa.

Chicks dig us, right?

Thanks.

Marco.

Okay. I guess
I was a little-

Harsh?

Judgmental? Rude?

How 'bout focused?

How 'bout
rudely focused?

I can live with that.

Okay. Truce.

I'm Eva.

I'm Kyle.

I know. Your aunt
was raving about you.

So you're like a pro surfer,
whatever that is?

I'm not really a pro.

I just graduated high school
and, believe it or not,

I'm starting college
in the fall.

Me, too. Where?

It's gonna
kill your stupid
surfer hypothesis.

Stanford.

Stanford?

That's too weird.

Don't tell me out of all the great
bastions of academia,

you chose the same school as a stupid
surfer boy?

CIose. I'll be right down the road
at Berkeley.

Neighbors.

Not a bad school.

Hmm, it's no Stanford.

Okay. I'm an idiot.
We already established that.

What about the truce?

Yeah.

I would like to apologize
for yesterday.

I should have been
more patient.

You hear anything?

I'm willing to give it another
shot if you guys are.

But you have realize
you've gotta change.

If you wanna go back to your high school,
you have to wanna learn.

Wow.

Look, Brad.

There's not enough space for both
of us in Costa Rica.

Heck. There's barely enough room for us
in Central America.

Maybe adequate
space in Europe.

I heard Antarctica's nice.

Dinger, you suck.

Okay, butt-muncher.
You best be on the next wave outta here

'cause there's
a new sheriff in town

and his name's
Dinger Doolittle.

Brad?

Buddy?

You couldn't possibly
Iend me a few colones

just until payday?

A six-pack of Imperial?

You disgust me.

What happened
to the real Dinger?

Where did he go?

I can't do this.

I can't do this.
What happened?

Where is the real Dinger?

Oh. Looky who's here,

our favorite
young men. Oh, ya.

We want to play today. You
want to play with us?

Ya.

Ya? Well, you should come by our room
after breakfast, ya?

Ya.

I'll with you
later, Rikard.

All right.

Ya.

Come on, dude. Enough
with the nature watch.

Okay. We, we, we, we've
gotta play it cool.

Like, uh,
like Rico Suave.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Rico Suave.

Who is Rico Suave?

He's this Latin dude who gets,
like, tons of babes.

All right. Let's go.

Hello?

W- w-
We're here.

Oh. We'll be with you
in one minute.

We are
in panty heaven.

Hey, Iook at this.

Oh, so sorry.

We leave our laundry out.
That is so rude.

Oh, how rude of us.
We apologize.

It's- It's okay.

Oh, yeah.
We won't tell anybody.

Good. You ready?

We are up here.

Huh?

They're just breasts.

You have nipples,
we have nipples.

Oh, we like those better.

Okay, we go
play now, ya?

Ya.

Ya. Ya.

Oh, ya.

Yeah.

So you boys know how much we like,
uh, games, ya?

Ya. Ya.

And we know how much
you American boys

like to see
an older woman's body.

Ya.

Wa, we play
strip games, ya?

Ya!

Oh, ya.

A movie?
Two word.

Second word. Uh,three syllables.
First syllable.

Prayer. Gods,

uh, oh, it's second
and third syllable.

Baby. Mother.
Sounds like a mother.

It's a father.Ya. Oh, oh, oh.
Godfather, The Godfather!

21 seconds, boys.

Your turn, boys.

All right. How do I look?

Wow, you
Iook beautiful.

Thank you.

It's not too late.
I could cancel.

I can call him that you have,
like, jungle fever. Fatigue. Plague.

Honey, it's just dinner.

Hello, beautiful.

Whoo. Wow.

You look like
the mother of my children.

Too early in the date
to propose?

Just a little.

What's up, Kyle?

Well, guess we should
be going, yeah?

Wait, why the rush?
I mean,

I have Brad Taylor here,
surf Iegend.

You know, when you
beat Slater in '97

with that 360 degree turn,
man, that was epic.

Yeah. Yeah, it was, man.

I remember sitting out there
with him waiting for a set.

You know,
and I just felt it.

I turned
to Kelly and I said,

"Second place isn't so bad.
Enjoy it, fool."

Yeah. You're
really cool.

Thanks.

Well, you ready?

Yeah.

Not so fast, Brad.

What are you doing
here, Doolittle?

Isn't it about time
to fall down drunk again?

I'm here to call out
the alleged surf champion.

That must
eat you up inside.

No matter how many
championships you've got,

you never won
one against the Dinger.

Dinger, don't.

Because you quit,ran away, right
into the bottle.

And you're still in it.

What do you want, wino?

I want you.
One on one.

Surf-off.Three waves,
one champion.

I hate to tell you this,but we're a little
bit too old to play for fun.

What are you gonna bet?
Your moldy mattress?

No.

If I win,

Carla keeps the motel.

Is he delusional?
I mean, actually,that's a silly question.

And you, you eat
the rest of that mortgage.

Look, this
is ridiculous. Stop.

I know I don't deserve
to love you right now,

and I'm a little down
on my luck.

A little? Whoof.

But the Dinger's back.
I am back.

Okay. All right.
You're on, wino.

You win, I won't foreclose
on Carla for a year.

I said-

That's the best
you're gonna get.

But when I win,
you leave Costa Rica forever.

We'll call it my, um, beach
beautification project.

Leave Costa Rica?

Yeah. You know, go bye-bye?

This is ridiculous. Stop.

You're on,
butt-muncher.

Fine. Two weeks
from Saturday.

You got one chance to beat me and that's
gonna take an act of God.

Let's go, Carla.

Please don't go.

I know you're not quite
ready to just be with me,

but don't be with him.

Man, you gotta work on your pecs.
You got man tits.

Hm.

You need some Grecian
for that grey, dude.

Ugh.

Ugh!

Oh, Dinger,

oh, that's foul.

Ah- Ah-

You're not just
one big hair.

You know, I should
have studied like you.

According to my ex-boyfriend,
no one studies like me.

I guess that's why
he's my ex-boyfriend.

Well, there's plenty more where
that came from.

You're on vacation now.

I know. My cousins
keep reminding me.

I just wish
I could relax.

Well, we could hold you
down and take your book.

I'm a black belt. It could get ugly.
I fight like I study.

Kyle could give you
a surf Iesson.

Oh, you mean, the relatively
attractive nephew

who you forgot to mention
is going to Stanford?

I figured you would
find out on your own.

He seems cool, but sorry.
There's no love connection.

We're practically
gonna be neighbors, you know.

Word spreads.
I don't need that kind of trouble.

All right. Suit yourself.
Study hard.

I feel cold, brah.

What? It's like
90 degrees.

Cold.

So cold.

Is that
a white light?

A velvety white light?

I'm on the road
to Shambala.

There's Jehovah.
Hey, big Daddy.

Sweet robe.

Dinger's coming
home to Papa.

Got any Cap'n Crunch
around here?

Dinger, you're
going to do this

you gotta go sober.

You're not gonna let
Carla down, right?

Right.

Your hero's gonna need
a little help on this one, brah.

I know.
I'll help you.

I did good
today, huh?

Yeah.

Except for blowing
the chunks all over her.

Oh, God, you heard
what I said about Carla.

I love you.
I want you.

It's okay, honey.
She's real. I understand.

You're real. So real.

You're my one
and only love.

So what
are you doing?

Just walking with my beautiful
aunt on the beach.

I mean, what
are you doing?

Dinger shows up to challenge Brad,
professes his love for me?

You're a believer, right? It's just
the universe at work.

With a little help
from you. Look.

I made this mess,

I don't think you and Dinger should
get involved.

No, I think we
should, I mean,

what do you want Dinger to do?
Just lie down on the beach drunk?

Kyle, he said
he Ioved me.

So, he's
got good taste.

Isn't your generation the one that believed
love is all you need?

No, that's the generation before
mine. Mine needs money.

This plan is silly.

Got anything better?

Oh, yeah.

AIways good
to use protection, Pammy.

Oh, yeah, rub it
right there. Oh. Oh, yeah.

I think you missed a spot.

Oh, yeah, that's it,
right there, baby.

It'd be much nicer to have a real girl
do this for you.

Like Carla.

No, this is great.

Real is better.

Not when it's real
versus Pamela Anderson.

Honey, I'm not really
here, you know that?

Say what?

You create the fantasy.
The reality is,

I'm at Little League game
with my boys right now.

Stop it.

I think you can stop it.

But you Iook so good wet.

You have
the prettiest skin.

Goofy.

Dinger.

Running in place,
in slow motion,

won't help.

I feel the burn, brah.

Come on.

Okay.

That's... one.

You are killing me, Osama. What's next,
waterboarding?

Ah!

Dinger, you
got this.

You used to have the best balance
in the world.

I don't know what you've
been smoking lately, brah

But I'm with Ringling
Brothers here.

What's next,
a flying trapeze?

I mean, you might as well shoot me
out of a cannon.

I'm back.
Whoo-hoo!

...:::Lord Sadler:::...
lordsadler2012@gmail.com

Try and get
these clothes off.

Ya!

Name the seven
continents.

Pancho Willa.

Catalina.

Oh.

Explain Einstein's
Theory of Relativity.

Define existentialism.

Freud's interpretation
of dreams.

Keynesian Theories
of Macroeconomic Management.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if
a woodchuck could wood?

Show time!

It better be a big show.

It's so little.

If it'd be any smaller,
it would be invisible.

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.

He's hung like a hamster.

Stupid is no fun.

We don't take our clothes off
for stupid American boys.

Y eah. Why don't you just take your
honey buns out of my sight?

Take a long walk
on a short pier.

Yeah. And while you're at it, take your
cocktail vieners outta here.

Dude, I totally knew that woodchuck
question, man.

Come on, work.

All right.

North America.

South America.

Antarctica.

Africa.

Australia.

What about Australia?

Uh, nothing.

What's wrong, guys?

We really
are idiots.

ldiots, with, like,
a capital-

What's wrong? Your date with the Swedes
didn't go very well?

We need to Iearn.

Not just so we can
stay in our school,

but just so we're not
pathetic kooks.

And, you don't even
have to, like, seduce us

or anything like
that, you know?

I mean, look, if you wanted
to, you could.

But. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it. Oops.

Hey.

How's it going?

Okay.

Think you might have time for
a surf Iesson?

Thought you had
to focus.

It's just
a surf lesson.

I think I'm smart enough to Iearn how to
do your little surf thing.

This has nothing to do
with book smarts.

PIease.

How hard can it be? Your brain-dead
friends can do it.

Okay. I think I will give you
that lesson in humility.

Okay. Wait a second.

I talked to your aunt.

She told me what you're
trying to do with Dinger.

I think it's really cool.

I'm not trying to add to that frustration
or anything, I promise.

I come in peace.

When you see that friendly
little wave coming that you want

you align yourself
up on the wave.

When you're paddling, you're basically
gonna be doing a crawl stroke.

And coming over the top.

Got it.

All right.

Looks good.

And once you feel the glide,

you kinda do
a push up like this.

Knees slightly bent,

arms out to the side
for balance

and that's your
first surf lesson.

Your turn.

Okay.

Feet off the edge
of the board.

Nose out of the water.

Kick.

Paddle.

Think I got it.

That's good.
Just like a pro.

Well, that
went well.

You actually
did pretty good.

Paddling's looking good.
Balance is nice.

It's all good.

I'm just not ready.

It's okay.

So, do you guys understand what Dickens'
Tale of Two Cities is about?

Yeah. Kind
of about us.

It's about
you and Richard?

Well, the guy in the book,
Sidney, he loves Lucy,

but Lucy
loves Charlie.

And that is, like,pretty much,
like,the story of our lives.

See, the babes that we love, usually
Iove someone else.

Okay, good. I mean,
not good, but-

Dickens was exploring the concept
of unrequited love,

when you love someone
and they don't Iove you.

You guys really got it.

Come on, Dinger!
You're almost here!

Can't I just enroll
in Jenny Craig?

Or take a Jazzercise class?

Come on.

Come on, baby, into my arms.

I'm coming, sweetheart

You can't tell me
this isn't for real.

Dude, this is gay.

Dinger!

Have a good surf,
bro'. Get 'em.

Wow.

Wow. Back to tease me?

No, just watching him surf.

I remember watching you
in Hawaii. You were amazing.

That was a long time ago.

Not so long. I see the way
he Iooks at you.

He remembers. They all do.

You know, Pammy,
for a fantasy girl,

you can be a real
pain in the ass sometimes.

How about
a little less pressure
and a Iot more suntan oil?

Okay, okay. But maybe this whole thing,
you know, the changes, the challenges

maybe this
is your fantasy. Not me.

Uh, that would be
a no, Dr. Anderson.

You're my fantasy.

Well, we are making
some progress.

We just had an entire conversation
without you trying to grope me.

Yeah, I guess.

Oh, Pam. Finally, Pam.
Oh, oh, oh.

Hey, Dinger. Spring.

Ugh!

Dinger!

You tease!

Puto!

Oh, Ernesto.

Lo siento mucho.

I'm sorry, brah.

I'm hallucinatin'
from this sober thing.

You look exactly
like Pammy though.

Do you mind
if I sit down?

Take a seat.

Things going
any better with Dinger?

No.

So,

what's in your brain
that has to change?

Don't you have
some studying to do?

I'm a surfer
now. Remember?

Sometimes it's easier to tell a stranger,
or a near stranger.

I'm just thinking about
maybe putting off Stanford.

I always dreamed
of surfing pro.

I don't wanna look back
on life and have any regrets.

But I don't wanna turn out
like Dinger either.

You're not him.

You don't think
it's crazy?

I should, I guess.

But I don't.

Watching you surf,

it's beautiful.

I mean, it's a gift.

I thought I'd be the last person
to see it that way.

But, look.

I've been studying fanatically since
I can remember.

And I guess maybe it's not so bad
to take a break.

Maybe it doesn't
forever damn you

into a future in fast food.

So, not to change the subject,
but I kinda have an idea.

Are you crazy?

Setting your cool aunt up on a date
with Dinger Doolittle?

Maybe you'll inspire him.
I mean, he is risking everything for you.

It's more
of a Don Quixote approach.

You're Dulcinea and he's your
knight errant.

He deserves
an audience.

Don Quixote was insane,
as is Dinger.

lnsane is
a little extreme.

I'd say
he's more eccentric.

Right!

Since when
did the two of you

become a tag team?

Aren't you supposed to be
studying or something?

I believe a wise and beautiful
hotel owner

once told me
to take a study break.

Come on,
it's just dinner.

He's willing to give up
his home for yo

I really think that we should
cancel this whole thing.

I mean, he can't, he can't possibly
win, can he?

He's a four-time
world champion.

He's got a chance.

All he needs
is a little time.

Your time.

The two of you are too smart for your
own good, and for mine.

Okay. My typical
first date.

Maybe we shouldn't
use me as a model.

Let's take a slightly
different approach.

Just be yourself,
you know,

the non-perverted part of yourself
that won't try to jump her bones.

God, I want you so bad.

Kid, figuratively speaking.

Look, Dinger.

If you want any chance
with a woman like Carla,

you're gonna need
some updating.

And you're gonna be
doing this updating?

Me and my two
Swedish cousins.

Swedish cousins. Wow.

Are you guys gonna be wearing
something like G-strings

for my updating comfort?

Maybe, uh, after this updating
you'll hit on someone other than me.

So, this Plato isn't the stuff
made out of clay.

It's a Greek guy,
a philosopher.

Good job, Hamilton.

And, he believed

in inherent intelligence.

And that we were born knowing all
the stuff that we need to know.

We just have
to call on it.

We're, like, smart
as Asian kids.

You guys, I'm really proud of you.
You're working really hard.

So, I hear you have a big
date tonight. Oh.

Oh, no, no.
It's not a date.

Well, don't let him
get to second base

without finishing
the shrimp cocktail.

Shrimp cocktail.

Look, I'm just
not in the mood.

Well, that's a surprise.

Don't take offense or anything. You're
still my Pammy, right?

If you say so, honey.

I 'll just leave you alone,

maybe just head down the beach
and go skinny-dipping.

You're testing me.

You're testing me.

Dinger, we got
to train.

I am training, bro'.

For what,
the next life?

In a matter
of speaking, yes.

Maybe I'm praying
for you to loosen up.

I've seen you surf.

You could be great.

You just gotta
Iet it flow.

But when I win, you leave
Costa Rica forever.

I know.

Are you gonna help
Carla or not?

I know what matters.

It's okay, honey. She's
real. I understand.

When you love someone
and they don't love you.

Mind over matter.

Maybe the time is now.

You know, go bye-bye.

You just gotta
let it flow.

Oh! What's that? Ow! Oh.

How's it going?

Um, well,

Iet's just say
no felony charges yet.

A few misdemeanors maybe.

I'm sure he'll be fine.

No, don't.
Give Kyle my stuff.

Oh.

Oh!

He wanted me to give you this stuff.
I found it in his hair.

I'd give you the plate, but we're going
through his underarm hair now

and I'll probably need it.

All right.

Yeah. He likes
Britney Spears.

Don't lose my Britney,
Baby One More Time.

You owe me another
surf lesson after this.

You got it.

Mom, help!

Uh, I should probably
get back to that.

Good luck.

I wanna go back
to the beach!

Oh, my God.
You look amazing.

Thank you.

All right. If this goes bad, I'm gonna
kill you, you know that, right?

Come on. Just give it
a chance. You might like him.

I think you will.

You know when I first moved here
about 12 years ago I, I

met Dinger Doolittle and he was
the resident surf god.

He was something.

I mean, not my type,
of course.

Of course.

He was
a stupid surfer.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

Dinger, is that you?

I think so.
Can't be a 100 percent,

but, it sure
bears a resemblance.

Uh, you, you look-

Human again?

Uh, you Iook great.

Well, you Iook amazing without my vomit
all over you.

Oh.

Here's a peace offering
for blowing the chunks.

That, these grow up
by my house.

Mattress.

Thank you.
That's very sweet.

Are you sure
you wanna do this?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You kids
be back early.

We'll be waiting.

We want
to apologize.

Yeah, we were rude.
You are not so stupid.

Ya. Come.
We will play.

Ya.

We go skinny
dip, ya?

Oh, ya.

We're trying
not to be so stupid.

Yeah.

We'll pass.

Bro', put it in the books. I'm gonna
split the atom one day.

Hey, we have to review Stalin's
reign of terror, too.

Oh, yeah.

Wat if we said

that we do
go skinny-dipping.

So you can see
our hooters, ya?

Ya. Maybe touch. Ya?

Ha. We'll take
a rain check.

Okay. We show
you now.

Dude, l found a dangling
participle right here.

Oh!

Was that a dream?

You did an amazing job.
I can't believe it's him.

Thanks.

You don't have to be doing
this, you know.

You could
be studying.

I think I needed
a study break.

What's going on with you and this
bet, Dinger?

I mean, I appreciate the sentiment,
but it's wrong.

It feels
right to me.

It's not your
problem, it's mine.

What if helping you with your problem
helps me with mine?

Look, I don't wanna be
like I've been.

I can't.

And if this is the reason
to change, you,

it's as good as any.

Better.

Thanks for doing this
with me, Carla.

Thank you.
I had a really
nice time.

Really?

Really.

Oh, wow.

Someone's smiling.

I'm not doing
this with you guys.

Come on.

Okay.

Let's kick
butt-muncher's butt.

Come in.
We want to play.

PIease, we're studying.

Well, study
anatomy. Ours.

Dude, I can't
concentrate here.

Yeah, let's leave these aquatic
recreational facilities.

Come on, Dinger.

PIease, let
him get up.

Two words.

Okay. First word.

That's it, Richard.
Okay. Um,

two syllables.

Excellent! Yes.

All right.

Miss Dante.

Yeah?

Oh, come on, girls.
Get outta here!

Hey, what's up, brah?

My God.

Carla.

Hey.

You wanna talk to me?

Yeah, um,

Look, everybody in town knows
that I have rooms available

and I think it's only right
that you have one.

Stay here?

In an actual room?

Yes.

And sleep in the bed?

With sheets?

Yes.

And use the bathroom?

Yes, you can even use the shower
if you want.

And the soap?

Yes.

Well, Carla, you know, this is
kind of a surprise to me.

You wanting me to move
on so fast and all.

I mean, I had
a great time on our date.

And the kiss
was certainly erotic.

But you know a guy usually has to play
a little hard to get.

You're asking me to be your live-in
boy toy.

No. I am offering
you a room.

Not my room.

Yes or no.

Yes.

Okay.

Oh!

A bed. With sheets.

Yeah.

Light!

Yeah! Light!

Okay. You can let go
of me now.

God. She really
loves me, doesn't she?

Love is
a little strong.

I would say
it's more,

more of a like.

Love, like, they all start
with the letter L, right?

Yeah, that
they do.

All righty then.

Wow, there's water
in this toilet.

Oh, man. Soap.

Soap.

Was I really
your hero once?

Yeah.

Look, Big Brah.

I never asked
you for anything.

And it's not like I'm asking
for that much now.

Maybe just a little karma.

You're not coming
home tonight?

Well, she offered
and I felt kinda obligated.

I mean, it can't
hurt the filly.

It's just one night.
I'll be back, Pammy.

Good night, Dinger.

Good night.

He's close.

Eva, the competition
is tomorrow.

CIose means Dinger
leaves here forever.

CIose means Carla
Ioses the hotel.

Are you all right?

Yeah. Maybe
a little scared.

Well, a little
scared is normal.

You know, I wanted
to apologize to you, Pam.

For what?

For treating you like
a fantasy all these years.

You know, an object.

The hottest object
in the history of mankind.

I mean,those 11 Playboy
covers confirm that.

It's 13.

Anyway, the truth is

while most of us are scared
to death of love,

you at least
give it a chance.

You take your boys
to Little League games.

You rescue animals.

You've been the best friend
a Iost soul could ever have.

Thank you, Dinger.

I have to go.

I know.

I could call it off.

No. We're ready.

The legend returns,
right brah?

Look, Dinger, you don't have
to do this.

A hero's more
than a sandwich, kid.

Look at you guys.

You all look like Lindsay Lohan
without a beer.

Come on.
Have some faith.

Tomorrow the Dinger
rides again.

Just like
that Plato dude said.

It's all
inside me, right?

Yeah.

And Carla.

Yeah?

I wrote
a song. Do you
mind if I play it?

Sure.

Oh.

# It's me and my friends
In Costa Rica today

# Come to catch a few waves
And maybe get laid

# My Aunt Carla
She taught us new ways

# Two Swedish chicks
Teasing us

# Titties in our face

# Kyle digs Eva,Green-eyed blond
With the brains

# It's me and my friends
In Costa Rica today

# My boy, Doobie

# Sure loves the reefer

# But now
He quotes Shakespeare,

# Dickens and Queen Latifah

# Dinger winning

# We thought was history

# Believing in him
Will lead him to victory

Whoooo

# I love my family
In Costa Rica

# This is my family
In Costa Rica

# This is my family-

Wow.

What a tender moment
for a bunch of losers

on the verge
of complete annihilation.

So, Carla,
I heard about
your little date.

You really that hard up you have to do
a makeover on the wino?

I'd leave now,
butt-muncher.

You're the only one
leaving, Doolittle.

And I'm sure with
a little bit of luck,

you'll soon have your very own shopping
cart in downtown Detroit.

After I destroy
your drunk boyfriend,

my lawyer will begin foreclosing
on your little hotel.

You had your
chance, baby.

You blew it.

Wow. Congratulations, Brad.

That was perhaps the best dick speech
in the history of all dicks.

Which is appropriate
'cause your fly's open.

That's right.
Made you look.

You guys get a good
night's sleep.

'Cause tomorrow, you and your girlfriend
lose everything.

Oh, that's right.
You do have that one chance.

Yeah. I remember.

That's right.

# This is my family
In Costa Rica

You know, Brad.

You should be real
careful with karma.

It can bite you in the ass.

Pearls of wisdom
from the wino.

Well, well. You and your sorry-ass
entourage have actually shown up

Let's keep this simple so even
you can understand

Three waves,
best two out of three wins.

Translation? After two quick rides,
you leave Costa Rica forever.

Now, can you tell my beautiful friends
what happens if I win?

Yeah, yeah, of course. If there happens
to be an act of God,

Ms. Dante here will not have to pay her
mortgage for one year.

You sober enough to begin?

Let's do this.

Thanks for everything,
brah. You okay?

Yeah.

You can do this.

The Iegend returns.

Come on, fatso.

After you, Brad.

Come on, Dinger! Okay, Dinger, come on.
You can do it!

Ah-ha-ha.
You better pray, Doolittle.

What's he doing out there?

Just wait. It's cool, man.

What's he doing?

Great. He's
praying again.

Whoa. Wha-
What's going on?

This doesn't look good.

Think God's crying.

Whoa! Whoa!

Oh!

Di- did you see
that lightning bolt?

Oh.

He just got struck
by lightning.

I'll save you, Brad!

Help.

Grab my board.

Oh, my God.

Don't worry, everyone. He's
not dead.

Miss Dante? We don't
have to know anything

about supernatural phenomenas
for the exam, do we?

Anyone wanna
help him?

I think he shit
his pants.

Whoo-hoo!

You did it!

We did it, brah!

You did it!

No way.
The Dinger's back.

Is that what you
were praying for?

Yes, and you were in there,
too, brah.

I'm gonna need a surf
coach if I go pro.

You got it.

I know I didn't beat him the way I used
to back in the day,

but I still won
for the woman I love.

That's what they call unrequited love.
Dickens wrote about that.

Yeah, that's
when you love somebody

but they don't
love you back.

That might not
apply here, boys.

Sorry about that. I just wanted
to say goodbye.

God, I'm so
proud of you.

Well, you always
wanted that kiss.

Is that all you got, Dinger?

Not even close!

Book. Uh, Seven words.

First word.

Okay. One syllable.

Prayer. Prayer.
Uh, uh, chicken.

Uh, hen, hen.
Okay. Sounds like,

uh, Zen. Zen. All right. Uh,
second word, second word.

Enough! We give up.

Enough!

We, we respected
your minds.

Yes. So now, we give to you
our bodies. Ya?

Uh, if l remember correctly,
I think you guys called us

uh, stupid Americans?

You're on
the lame train. We've
seen this show before.

You boys like
to go motor boating?

Ya.

Oh, yeah, we
love you boys.

Come on.

...:::Lord Sadler:::...
lordsadler2012@gmail.com