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1
00:00:03,181 --> 00:00:04,702
Woodhouse, what the
hell is this?!
2
00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:06,568
I believe it is squash, sir.
3
00:00:06,637 --> 00:00:08,234
I... what're you
shoveling it into?!
4
00:00:08,303 --> 00:00:10,139
The wee baby Seamus.
5
00:00:10,259 --> 00:00:13,202
Miss Trinette said you'd agreed to
it, while she's in Atlantic City for
6
00:00:13,270 --> 00:00:14,569
the weekend...
What?!
7
00:00:14,689 --> 00:00:17,270
For the "Pimps and Ho's
Ball," I believe she said.
8
00:00:17,339 --> 00:00:19,870
Didn't seem the sort of
place one takes a baby.
9
00:00:19,939 --> 00:00:22,939
You realize you're in huge trouble...
Yessir...... And that
10
00:00:23,008 --> 00:00:25,647
now I have to spend my first Friday
off in like, forever... Yessir...
11
00:00:25,716 --> 00:00:28,702
Devising some bizarre punishment for you.
Yessir.
12
00:00:29,272 --> 00:00:32,992
So don't be surprised if you end up
eating a whole bunch of spiderwebs.
13
00:00:33,061 --> 00:00:34,461
Right?
14
00:00:34,530 --> 00:00:35,531
Now shut up and
read me the paper.
15
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,468
Very good, sir, let's see what we...
Good Lord!
16
00:00:39,571 --> 00:00:44,511
Oh for... what the
shit, Woodhouse?!
17
00:00:44,580 --> 00:00:45,713
Stop crying!
18
00:00:45,782 --> 00:00:47,215
How do you make him
not... God, here!
19
00:00:47,284 --> 00:00:48,116
Ya like that?
20
00:00:48,185 --> 00:00:49,417
That's a Bloody Mary.
21
00:00:49,486 --> 00:00:50,585
Or is it a Bloody Caesar?!
22
00:00:50,654 --> 00:00:51,587
Why're you sitting?
23
00:00:51,656 --> 00:00:52,723
At my table?!
24
00:00:52,792 --> 00:00:55,060
I... the paper sir, there's an item...
Oh yeah?
25
00:00:55,128 --> 00:00:56,729
Did somebody finally
out the Queen?
26
00:00:56,798 --> 00:00:59,482
Right?
This baby know what I'm talking about.
27
00:00:59,602 --> 00:01:00,268
Gimme that.
28
00:01:00,336 --> 00:01:04,006
Sir Augustus Stilton, World War
One flying ace, blah blah blah,
29
00:01:04,074 --> 00:01:06,777
dies under mysterious
circumstances.
30
00:01:06,846 --> 00:01:08,713
And mystery solved,
he was a thousand.
31
00:01:08,782 --> 00:01:13,821
Stilton and I were squadron-mates...
Oh. Sorry. Twenty-Two Squadron, RFC.
32
00:01:13,889 --> 00:01:17,191
Most decorated aerodrome
of the Great War.
33
00:01:17,260 --> 00:01:21,194
I don't care about the great war. But not
much left of the old Double Deuce anymore.
34
00:01:21,263 --> 00:01:24,197
We're all dying off...
Yeah, not... a huge surprise.
35
00:01:24,266 --> 00:01:27,566
We're not dying of old age, sir...
Wait a second.
36
00:01:27,635 --> 00:01:31,370
Sir Alfred Wensleydale, foul play suspected...
Nigel Buxton,
37
00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:34,973
mysterious circumstances...
Edwin Glue-sester... Gloster...
38
00:01:35,042 --> 00:01:38,576
Whatever, foul play suspected...
another "mysterious circumstances,
39
00:01:38,645 --> 00:01:41,847
every one of these is like that, and
they're all from the past six months.
40
00:01:41,915 --> 00:01:43,715
What the hell?
Hell indeed, sir.
41
00:01:43,784 --> 00:01:48,756
Because one at a time, the remaining
survivors of the old Double Deuce...
42
00:01:48,825 --> 00:01:50,991
are being murdered.
43
00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:53,228
Oh my God.
44
00:01:53,297 --> 00:01:55,201
Are we out of Bloody Marys?!
45
00:01:55,807 --> 00:02:06,010
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
46
00:02:30,296 --> 00:02:33,291
Can not picture you
as a fighter pilot.
47
00:02:33,411 --> 00:02:35,311
Oh no sir, not a pilot.
48
00:02:35,380 --> 00:02:35,979
A batman.
49
00:02:36,047 --> 00:02:38,314
An officer's personal attendant.
50
00:02:38,383 --> 00:02:42,285
In charge of keeping his kit in good
order, seeing to his personal needs...
51
00:02:42,353 --> 00:02:43,899
So, a servant.
52
00:02:44,019 --> 00:02:48,725
"Soldier-servant" was the official
term, but... Yeah, Way to advance.
53
00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:53,896
But for the enlisted, being chosen to
bat for an officer was very desirable.
54
00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:58,027
Especially when that officer was
Captain Reginald Thistleton.
55
00:02:58,147 --> 00:03:00,578
I say, Woodhouse!
Yessir.
56
00:03:00,698 --> 00:03:03,874
The Hun did a fair job of stitching
up the old kite this time, what?
57
00:03:03,943 --> 00:03:05,142
Thank God you're alright, sir.
58
00:03:05,211 --> 00:03:09,217
God and my twin Vickers, caught
old Jerry in a chandelle,
59
00:03:09,337 --> 00:03:12,082
poor bastard went
down like a quail.
60
00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:13,017
You scoundrel!
61
00:03:13,086 --> 00:03:13,851
Is that brandy?!
62
00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:15,152
Thought you'd like
a pick-me-up, sir.
63
00:03:15,221 --> 00:03:17,822
You're a rose among thorns!
64
00:03:17,890 --> 00:03:20,291
Bagged your share today, Scripes?
65
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,326
Loads, thanks!
66
00:03:22,395 --> 00:03:27,331
See you've already bagged yours...
Creepy... Yes,
67
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:31,335
Leftenant Scripes abhorred the way Reg...
Er, Captain Thistleton carried on
68
00:03:31,403 --> 00:03:32,135
with the men.
69
00:03:32,204 --> 00:03:34,772
Yeah, didn't Oscar Wilde
get hard labor for that?
70
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,907
For... what are you
talking about?
71
00:03:36,976 --> 00:03:38,542
I'm... what're you
talking about?
72
00:03:38,611 --> 00:03:45,049
The tontine... France.
Spring, 1917.
73
00:03:45,118 --> 00:03:49,488
Bloody April, they called it...
74
00:03:49,557 --> 00:03:51,223
Black days, they were.
75
00:03:51,292 --> 00:03:55,075
We were losing two, sometimes
three pilots a week.
76
00:04:01,769 --> 00:04:03,835
Who was that?
77
00:04:03,904 --> 00:04:05,503
Foxley, I should think.
78
00:04:05,572 --> 00:04:10,408
No one thought we'd live through the
war, so Reggie came up with the idea.
79
00:04:10,477 --> 00:04:11,643
A tontine, lads!
80
00:04:11,711 --> 00:04:14,746
Each man pays in fifty pounds,
and the last survivor collects
81
00:04:14,815 --> 00:04:16,457
the capital and interest.
82
00:04:17,117 --> 00:04:18,616
Oh come on lads,
show some stones!
83
00:04:18,685 --> 00:04:20,185
I'll show you my stones, sir!
84
00:04:20,254 --> 00:04:21,620
That's the spirit!
85
00:04:21,689 --> 00:04:22,788
Who else?
86
00:04:22,856 --> 00:04:24,656
Well done Johnny,
Bob's your uncle.
87
00:04:24,725 --> 00:04:26,291
So, how much are we talking here?
88
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,894
Oh, nearly twelve hundred pounds.
89
00:04:28,963 --> 00:04:29,895
What?!
90
00:04:29,964 --> 00:04:34,567
Nobody's getting killed over... how
ever much that is in real money!
91
00:04:34,636 --> 00:04:37,972
Well no, but... are you familiar
with the term "compound interest?"
92
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:39,774
I'm not an idiot, Woodhouse.
93
00:04:39,842 --> 00:04:42,043
Unlike some people around here!
94
00:04:42,111 --> 00:04:44,006
That's silvertip badger!
95
00:04:44,126 --> 00:04:45,380
You know how much this cost?!
96
00:04:45,448 --> 00:04:51,153
No no, hey c'mon, don't...
Here, God, Baby.
97
00:04:51,222 --> 00:04:53,990
But since I don't have a calculator...
At ten percent,
98
00:04:54,059 --> 00:04:57,794
by now I'd say it's just a bit
shy of a million dollars.
99
00:04:57,862 --> 00:04:58,294
What?!
100
00:04:58,363 --> 00:05:00,530
I would totally
kill you for that!
101
00:05:00,599 --> 00:05:05,368
Not me, but ya know, somebody would...
So how many of you geezers are left?
102
00:05:05,437 --> 00:05:09,706
Well, now that's Stilton's been
killed, it's just me, Scripes,
103
00:05:09,774 --> 00:05:11,307
and...
104
00:05:11,376 --> 00:05:13,109
And that'll be Stinky.
105
00:05:13,178 --> 00:05:13,643
Wh-?
106
00:05:13,712 --> 00:05:14,576
What will?!
107
00:05:14,696 --> 00:05:16,446
Cor, you done alright then.
108
00:05:16,515 --> 00:05:20,451
Oh, no, the flat belongs to Mr.
Archer, who is my... None of my business...
109
00:05:20,519 --> 00:05:23,219
Consenting adults and so on.
110
00:05:23,288 --> 00:05:26,693
Hey, nobody's
consenting to anything!
111
00:05:26,813 --> 00:05:28,358
None of my business!
112
00:05:28,427 --> 00:05:32,696
You're gonna eat so many spiderwebs...
That's what he said...
113
00:05:32,764 --> 00:05:37,500
Scripes phones me at my niece's house in
Secaucus, New Jersey... I live with my
114
00:05:37,569 --> 00:05:41,905
niece in Secaucus, New Jersey... Riveting
... Says innit it awful about Stilton,
115
00:05:41,973 --> 00:05:44,107
and he wants to come
pay us a visit!
116
00:05:44,176 --> 00:05:45,008
Good Lord!
117
00:05:45,077 --> 00:05:45,842
What'd you say?!
118
00:05:45,911 --> 00:05:47,023
Gave 'im your address!
119
00:05:47,143 --> 00:05:49,546
Told the bastard we'd
be waitin for 'im!
120
00:05:49,614 --> 00:05:50,614
Waiting for him?!
121
00:05:50,682 --> 00:05:52,983
My God, he'll...
Never know what hit 'im!
122
00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:56,820
We'll turn this fruity
flat into a killing field!
123
00:05:56,889 --> 00:05:58,889
But... Seamus, no!
124
00:05:58,957 --> 00:06:00,390
Huh-uh!
125
00:06:00,459 --> 00:06:04,223
Woodhouse, I can either do...
God, you are such a little brat!
126
00:06:04,343 --> 00:06:04,929
Here!
127
00:06:04,997 --> 00:06:08,632
I can do baby, or I can do "geezer
murder mystery," but I can't do both.
128
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:13,104
Well Scripes is on his way
here, so... So... sir?
129
00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:16,538
Perhaps your mother could look after
the wee baby Seamus?
130
00:06:16,658 --> 00:06:18,287
Woodhouse, yes.
131
00:06:18,407 --> 00:06:20,277
No!
Yes!
132
00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:23,614
Mother c'mon, you said you... You're
off your nut if you think I'm
133
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:27,852
babysitting this squawling little...
What the hell is wrong with him?!
134
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,521
He miight...
have a tiny hangover.
135
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:32,722
Wh-?
You ass, you gave him liquor?!
136
00:06:32,791 --> 00:06:35,826
No, I didn't give it
to him, but... Ass.
137
00:06:35,894 --> 00:06:38,040
See, look at him he's
just crazy for it.
138
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,698
You're only supposed to give them
liquor if they have the croup!
139
00:06:40,766 --> 00:06:42,867
Well I'm sorry Mister
Spock, I... Or colic!
140
00:06:42,935 --> 00:06:43,933
Or the jimmy-legs!
141
00:06:44,053 --> 00:06:46,104
Or... can't you just
dump him on Woodhouse?
142
00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:48,040
No, because... That's
what I always did.
143
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:51,910
I... am sure you did, but apparently
Woodhouse is about to be murdered,
144
00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:55,126
So are you, if you
piddle in here!
145
00:06:55,246 --> 00:06:58,652
And that goes double for
number two, Mister Man!
146
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:00,720
So you just hold it in!
147
00:07:00,789 --> 00:07:01,988
Wow.
148
00:07:02,057 --> 00:07:04,251
A ton of stuff just started
making sense to me.
149
00:07:05,093 --> 00:07:10,880
The secret is negative re-enforcement.
Yeah, I'm just getting that.
150
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,367
About time. Ass.
151
00:07:13,435 --> 00:07:16,691
Baby, you're pear shaped.
152
00:07:19,401 --> 00:07:20,600
Oh, what the hell!
153
00:07:20,668 --> 00:07:21,792
Hello?!
154
00:07:21,912 --> 00:07:25,537
Great, that was my
second-favorite... lamp.
155
00:07:25,605 --> 00:07:27,105
Reloading!
No you're not!
156
00:07:27,174 --> 00:07:28,272
Don't reload.
157
00:07:28,341 --> 00:07:29,941
Dammit!
158
00:07:33,413 --> 00:07:34,579
Ow.
159
00:07:34,648 --> 00:07:36,981
And my first-favorite
lamp, fantastic.
160
00:07:37,050 --> 00:07:39,050
Serves you right,
shooting blind like that.
161
00:07:39,119 --> 00:07:40,652
You could've killed me.
162
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:43,354
Yeah, and I'd be that much
closer to a million bucks!
163
00:07:43,423 --> 00:07:46,791
Ya know, once um...
What's up with your will the days?
164
00:07:46,860 --> 00:07:50,462
Oh my God...
Since when is this place a nursery?!
165
00:07:50,531 --> 00:07:52,865
Wouldja knock it off,
Union Carbide?!
166
00:07:52,934 --> 00:07:54,964
And lay off the wee baby Seamus.
167
00:07:55,084 --> 00:07:57,904
He's got it tough enough as it is...
Wussat!
168
00:07:57,972 --> 00:07:59,439
A pwetty bumblebee!
169
00:07:59,508 --> 00:08:01,374
Ya wanna pwetty bumblebee?
170
00:08:01,443 --> 00:08:04,411
There you go!
171
00:08:04,479 --> 00:08:07,147
Aww, wassamatter?
172
00:08:07,215 --> 00:08:08,248
What happened?
173
00:08:08,316 --> 00:08:11,317
Did somebody trick you?
174
00:08:11,386 --> 00:08:12,618
Hm?
175
00:08:12,687 --> 00:08:13,152
See?
176
00:08:13,221 --> 00:08:17,022
That's how the world works, dear...
and I'm the only one you can trust.
177
00:08:17,091 --> 00:08:21,059
Wow... A ton of stuff just
started making sense.
178
00:08:21,128 --> 00:08:22,427
No way.
Why not?
179
00:08:22,496 --> 00:08:25,764
Mr. Archer said Woodhouse might
make a million bucks from his!
180
00:08:25,832 --> 00:08:26,464
Shut up, liar.
181
00:08:26,533 --> 00:08:28,167
Of things impossible.
182
00:08:28,236 --> 00:08:31,971
It's not... Cyril, can you explain
compound interest to her?
183
00:08:32,039 --> 00:08:35,141
Maybe... if we had an
infinite amount of time.
184
00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:36,572
And she were someone else.
185
00:08:36,692 --> 00:08:37,911
Muh huh huh huh.
186
00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:40,881
Wait a second, is that a... you
know tontines are illegal, right?
187
00:08:40,950 --> 00:08:42,483
So is... all kindsa shit!
188
00:08:42,552 --> 00:08:43,764
But lookit these odds!
189
00:08:43,884 --> 00:08:46,154
Half the people that work here are
field agents, Who get killed in
190
00:08:46,223 --> 00:08:48,489
the line of duty all the time!
191
00:08:48,558 --> 00:08:51,318
And the control room... Is
basically just a great big
192
00:08:51,438 --> 00:08:55,547
asbestos lawsuit waitin to happen...
Yeah, here's some more claims forms...
193
00:08:55,667 --> 00:08:59,435
And how long ya think this
one's gonna be around?
194
00:08:59,503 --> 00:09:03,472
Yeah. Yeah, count me in.
195
00:09:03,541 --> 00:09:04,807
No.
Yes!
196
00:09:04,808 --> 00:09:06,465
We must fortify our position!
197
00:09:06,585 --> 00:09:11,380
We need twin Vickers here by the bar,
a Lewis gun by the sofa... Mustard gas!
198
00:09:11,449 --> 00:09:12,848
Zeppelins!
No!
199
00:09:12,916 --> 00:09:15,984
The guy's a hundred, he'll probably break
both his hips pushing the doorbell.
200
00:09:16,053 --> 00:09:17,220
I don't know, sir.
201
00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:21,303
Scripes was the toughest man in the squadron...
Just the squadron,
202
00:09:21,423 --> 00:09:24,023
or the entire Pansy Division?
203
00:09:24,092 --> 00:09:24,390
Ow!
204
00:09:24,459 --> 00:09:26,859
By God, you will
show some respect!
205
00:09:26,928 --> 00:09:29,262
Do as you like with me,
but I won't have a swishy
206
00:09:29,330 --> 00:09:31,664
party-boy backchat a war hero!
207
00:09:31,733 --> 00:09:33,773
War hero?
Oh, let's not... Who, Woodhouse?!
208
00:09:33,893 --> 00:09:35,605
Damned right!
***
209
00:09:35,725 --> 00:09:40,445
And if you won't tell him,
Woodhouse, I bloody well shall!
210
00:09:40,565 --> 00:09:46,778
Alas, poor Reggie...He was on his way back
from a routine patrol.
211
00:09:46,846 --> 00:09:50,214
It was a Tuesday afternoon...
I'd written him a letter, you see,
212
00:09:50,283 --> 00:09:54,619
so I was waiting out on the field...
And he was looking at me - my God,
213
00:09:54,688 --> 00:10:01,162
I can still see his smile - when that
Hun bastard dove in from behind...
214
00:10:01,282 --> 00:10:04,361
And then the sky just...
shattered.
215
00:10:12,355 --> 00:10:17,915
God knows how, but he kept the old kite
from rolling over... And crash-landed,
216
00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:22,471
out in No Man's Land...
And?!
217
00:10:22,591 --> 00:10:23,995
Hm?
Then what?!
218
00:10:24,115 --> 00:10:27,681
Oh. Well, Reggie survived
the crash somehow... Aaagh!
219
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,529
I survived the crash somehow!
220
00:10:29,649 --> 00:10:31,588
So we could've sent
a rescue party.
221
00:10:31,657 --> 00:10:36,268
But with Reggie hors de combat, Scripes
had become acting commander...
222
00:10:36,388 --> 00:10:38,996
And there shan't be
any rescue party.
223
00:10:39,065 --> 00:10:41,966
Captain Thistleton knew the
risk of what he was doing,
224
00:10:42,035 --> 00:10:45,404
and now it seems his chickens
have come home to roost.
225
00:10:45,472 --> 00:10:49,059
Bawk bawk, a response I found...
226
00:10:49,372 --> 00:10:51,149
unsatisfactory.
227
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:58,617
I could hear Reggie, out there past the
wire, screaming like a lamb... Aaaagh!
228
00:10:58,685 --> 00:11:00,813
I'm coming for you, sir!
229
00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:06,892
And there I found him, in the words
of Henley, "bloodied but unbowed."
230
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,228
Woodhouse, you came for me!
231
00:11:09,296 --> 00:11:10,998
Of course I did, sir! I'm a...
Fag?
232
00:11:12,734 --> 00:11:14,100
Sir?
Have you got one?
233
00:11:14,169 --> 00:11:17,237
Dying for a smoke... Oh!
Yes of course sir, here we are... Cheers.
234
00:11:17,306 --> 00:11:19,557
Now let me just light that for you...
235
00:11:21,846 --> 00:11:23,481
Oops. Sorry, sir...
236
00:11:24,149 --> 00:11:27,007
Just give that another go...
Good man.
237
00:11:28,529 --> 00:11:31,074
Damn!
Good God, man, are you hourly?
238
00:11:31,194 --> 00:11:33,526
I... sorry, sir,
I... here we go.
239
00:11:33,896 --> 00:11:37,558
Woodhouse... God, that's bright...
there's something I've been wanting to
240
00:11:37,627 --> 00:11:39,031
tell you, but... You scoundrel!
241
00:11:39,151 --> 00:11:39,827
Izzat brandy?!
242
00:11:39,896 --> 00:11:41,573
Oh, no sir, just water...
Water?!
243
00:11:41,693 --> 00:11:44,232
No, never touch the stuff,
fish [BEEP] in it.
244
00:11:44,352 --> 00:11:46,567
But seriously...
I've wanted to tell you this for ages,
245
00:11:46,636 --> 00:11:49,924
but I never quite knew how...
I'm listening, sir...
246
00:11:51,203 --> 00:11:53,265
Woodhouse...
247
00:11:54,182 --> 00:11:57,353
Fish [BEEP] in it.
248
00:11:57,473 --> 00:12:00,611
After that, it's all a bit...
fuzzy.
249
00:12:11,076 --> 00:12:14,886
Reggieeeeeeeee!
250
00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:19,465
And then what?
251
00:12:19,567 --> 00:12:23,919
Then they gave me the VC and my papers...
medical discharge.
252
00:12:23,988 --> 00:12:25,654
Because of the scalps.
Oh for...
253
00:12:25,723 --> 00:12:26,522
The what?!
254
00:12:26,590 --> 00:12:27,022
German scalps!
255
00:12:27,091 --> 00:12:29,925
Must've been fifty of 'em!
256
00:12:29,994 --> 00:12:31,894
Could've made a blanket.
257
00:12:31,963 --> 00:12:35,174
And then I just sort
of drifted about.
258
00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:41,504
Spent God knows how many years in the
Orient, on a merchant schooner...
259
00:12:41,573 --> 00:12:44,473
Reggieeeeeeeee!
260
00:12:44,542 --> 00:12:49,478
Then I sort of washed up in Tangiers,
where I won a bar in a dice game...
261
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,038
Which is how I met your mother.
262
00:12:53,283 --> 00:12:56,064
Don't shoot!
Please.
263
00:12:56,184 --> 00:12:59,053
I just killed a man and I
think my water just broke.
264
00:12:59,121 --> 00:13:02,389
So I could really,
really use a drink.
265
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:05,525
Gave birth to you right
there on that greasy bar.
266
00:13:05,594 --> 00:13:08,161
I cut the cord, and I've been
with your family ever since.
267
00:13:08,230 --> 00:13:12,349
The... you... Oh my God, you...
you saw Mother's... vagina?!
268
00:13:12,469 --> 00:13:15,733
Oh, my God! Aaah!
Oh my God.
269
00:13:16,139 --> 00:13:19,274
Rrrghh!
270
00:13:19,343 --> 00:13:20,676
What an ass.
271
00:13:20,744 --> 00:13:22,044
Right?
272
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:24,375
Mother?!
273
00:13:24,495 --> 00:13:26,772
Mother, where are you?!
274
00:13:26,841 --> 00:13:29,142
In here you half wit!
275
00:13:29,210 --> 00:13:31,410
I had just gotten him to sleep!
276
00:13:31,479 --> 00:13:32,912
Don't you know anything
about babies?!
277
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:36,548
I know you're not supposed to have
'em on a greasy bar! In Tangiers!
278
00:13:36,617 --> 00:13:39,784
Oh my God... And I know you're
not supposed to let Woodhouse
279
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,886
see your lady parts!
Wh-?
280
00:13:41,954 --> 00:13:43,787
That's why you're so upset?!
281
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:44,871
Yes!
Eww!
282
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,223
Mother he touches my food!
283
00:13:46,291 --> 00:13:48,981
Darling, he also...
Give me that!
284
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,677
He also saved my life.
285
00:13:51,797 --> 00:13:52,696
And yours.
286
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:56,801
Between my narrow hips, your fat head,
and a city full of enemy spies...
287
00:13:56,869 --> 00:14:00,905
We both nearly died that night
They're sure to come here looking.
288
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:03,542
We should get you somewhere safe.
Oh, a few minutes more.
289
00:14:03,611 --> 00:14:05,477
I just want to look at him.
290
00:14:05,546 --> 00:14:07,079
Isn't he perfect?
Aye.
291
00:14:07,148 --> 00:14:09,740
Here, Miss... for the lad.
292
00:14:09,860 --> 00:14:13,986
It's beautiful... A clapped-out
old whore traded it for a pint.
293
00:14:14,055 --> 00:14:15,855
Said it was sterling.
Sterling.
294
00:14:15,975 --> 00:14:17,432
That's what I'll name him!
295
00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:18,924
Oh, that's a fine name.
296
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:22,418
And could...
could his middle name be Reginald?
297
00:14:24,018 --> 00:14:26,364
No. Little too gay, but...
298
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,298
Nicht bewegen!
299
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,032
Sie sind verhaftet!
300
00:14:35,940 --> 00:14:38,309
But how would you like a job?
301
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:42,480
I... I think I would like
it very much indeed, mum.
302
00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:46,485
Oh my God... And if that weren't
enough, that very night he traded his
303
00:14:46,554 --> 00:14:49,355
bar for a boat and
sailed us to Lisbon.
304
00:14:49,424 --> 00:14:54,094
Got me to an OSS safehouse, sold the
boat, used the money to get you both
305
00:14:54,162 --> 00:14:58,799
back home to States, then raised
you by himself for five years!
306
00:14:58,867 --> 00:15:00,000
Wwwhaat...?
307
00:15:00,069 --> 00:15:00,968
You heard me, young man.
308
00:15:01,037 --> 00:15:03,004
Your mother's just home
from the war, boy.
309
00:15:03,073 --> 00:15:04,306
Give her a proper hello.
No!
310
00:15:04,374 --> 00:15:05,520
I don't have a mother!
311
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,648
And if I did, I'd...
I'd hate her!
312
00:15:09,983 --> 00:15:11,495
Wow, he did all that?
313
00:15:11,615 --> 00:15:14,894
For... You. And you treated him
like a dog ever since.
314
00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:18,287
But you won't have him to
kick around forever... Oh shit!
315
00:15:18,355 --> 00:15:19,088
Woodhouse!
316
00:15:19,156 --> 00:15:20,556
Oh my God, he's
gonna be murdered!
317
00:15:20,625 --> 00:15:22,758
I gotta go save him!
Ah ah ah!
318
00:15:22,827 --> 00:15:23,292
Here.
319
00:15:23,361 --> 00:15:25,395
You want me to take a baby.
320
00:15:25,464 --> 00:15:26,062
To a murder.
321
00:15:26,164 --> 00:15:27,663
Or wherever, just out of here.
322
00:15:27,732 --> 00:15:30,266
I have no more love
to give today.
323
00:15:30,335 --> 00:15:32,768
Yeah what is it,
like, two-thirty?
324
00:15:32,837 --> 00:15:35,704
Wait, why'd you have an eyepatch?
325
00:15:35,773 --> 00:15:37,439
Oh, who remembers?
326
00:15:37,508 --> 00:15:41,676
Three large, three-large fitty, threelarge
a Benjamin, three-large... Idiots,
327
00:15:41,745 --> 00:15:46,281
doing idiot things because they're idiots...
Yeah, we're the idiots.
328
00:15:46,350 --> 00:15:48,372
Says the genius who got a
hooker pregnant...
329
00:15:48,492 --> 00:15:50,252
What?
Nothing!
330
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,267
Cyril, what?
331
00:15:53,604 --> 00:15:55,790
Cyril?
You dead?
332
00:15:56,940 --> 00:15:59,594
Damn.
Should I put him out of his misery?
333
00:15:59,663 --> 00:16:02,597
Nehh... Do you, though.
334
00:16:02,666 --> 00:16:05,660
I... No, wait, then I
won't get the money.
335
00:16:05,780 --> 00:16:07,903
Idiot.
336
00:16:07,972 --> 00:16:10,239
You'll never take
us alive, Scripes!
337
00:16:10,308 --> 00:16:14,243
What do you mean, take you alive,
Woodhouse I only came here to... Wh-?!
338
00:16:14,312 --> 00:16:15,863
Bloody hell!
339
00:16:19,217 --> 00:16:20,617
Ow.
340
00:16:20,685 --> 00:16:22,952
Dreadfully sorry
about that, old boy.
341
00:16:23,021 --> 00:16:24,087
Bloody should be.
342
00:16:24,156 --> 00:16:25,255
Almost killed me.
343
00:16:25,323 --> 00:16:28,425
Which again, from the bottom of my
heart, is the last thing on earth I'd
344
00:16:28,493 --> 00:16:29,592
ever want to do.
345
00:16:29,661 --> 00:16:33,229
I'd forgotten all about that
rubbish tontine... But...
346
00:16:33,297 --> 00:16:37,066
All the mysterious deaths...
I daresay there's not much mystery...
347
00:16:37,135 --> 00:16:39,435
They're just desperate
to sell newspapers.
348
00:16:39,504 --> 00:16:42,296
Gloucester fell off the roof
mucking about with the aerial,
349
00:16:42,416 --> 00:16:47,043
Wens and Bux died in their sleep at the
pensioners' home. And as for Stilton...
350
00:16:47,112 --> 00:16:49,079
There's no nice way to put it.
351
00:16:49,148 --> 00:16:52,394
Auto-erotic asphyxiation.
You're joking!
352
00:16:52,514 --> 00:16:55,619
No. Stilton was always
quite keen on that. Remember?
353
00:16:55,687 --> 00:16:59,572
Always looking for something sturdy
to loop his Sam Browm ne over?
354
00:16:59,692 --> 00:17:02,734
I... do seem to recall an
awful lot of loose doorknobs.
355
00:17:02,854 --> 00:17:04,561
Oh, plus what he named his plane.
356
00:17:04,630 --> 00:17:07,901
I always thought that had
something to do with the engine.
357
00:17:08,021 --> 00:17:11,134
Well... Here's to you,
"Choke and Stroke."
358
00:17:11,203 --> 00:17:12,969
To "Choke and Stroke!"
359
00:17:13,038 --> 00:17:15,639
And here's to the
old Double Deuce.
360
00:17:15,707 --> 00:17:20,144
God knows we had our differences,
but it was... I'm just, I'm just...
361
00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:21,979
so glad to see you both.
362
00:17:22,048 --> 00:17:26,450
But if you didn't come to kill us, why
bring that whacking great Webley?
363
00:17:26,519 --> 00:17:29,287
It's Reggie's.
I stole it from his effects.
364
00:17:29,355 --> 00:17:33,926
I looked everywhere for that...
Damned wretched of me,
365
00:17:34,196 --> 00:17:35,860
but I just... wanted a memento.
366
00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:39,731
But Reggie would've wanted you
to have it, old boy... I say,
367
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,833
that's damned decent of you.
368
00:17:41,902 --> 00:17:42,667
Cheers.
369
00:17:42,736 --> 00:17:44,683
Took good care of her, too.
370
00:17:44,803 --> 00:17:46,271
Look. No rust.
371
00:17:46,340 --> 00:17:48,306
Even the barrel's clean.
372
00:17:48,375 --> 00:17:49,941
Noooooooo!
373
00:17:50,010 --> 00:17:52,711
Look ouuuuuuuuuut!
374
00:17:52,779 --> 00:17:55,347
Oh my Gawwwwd!
375
00:17:55,415 --> 00:17:58,650
The baybeeeeee!
376
00:17:58,718 --> 00:17:59,484
Rrrrgh!
377
00:17:59,553 --> 00:18:01,686
Nooooooo!
378
00:18:01,755 --> 00:18:05,824
I'm coming, Reggieeeeee!
379
00:18:05,892 --> 00:18:06,758
Whooo!
380
00:18:06,826 --> 00:18:09,839
What a move!
Did you see that?
381
00:18:09,959 --> 00:18:14,061
That was like, like Steve McQueen
and John Woo had a baby,
382
00:18:14,181 --> 00:18:17,050
and that baby was you, baby.
383
00:18:17,170 --> 00:18:18,402
Yeah pretty hot, huh?
384
00:18:18,471 --> 00:18:19,737
Oh my God!
385
00:18:19,806 --> 00:18:20,504
You, you...!
386
00:18:20,573 --> 00:18:23,407
No, don't thank me,
thank the... Ass!
387
00:18:23,476 --> 00:18:26,610
Unbelievably gigantic!
Ass!
388
00:18:26,679 --> 00:18:28,679
Hey!
Scripes wasn't here to kill us!
389
00:18:28,748 --> 00:18:31,600
He came to mourn our
comrades-in-arms!
390
00:18:33,186 --> 00:18:34,018
Oh.
Oh?!
391
00:18:34,086 --> 00:18:36,754
That's all you have to say,
you great flapping twit?!
392
00:18:36,823 --> 00:18:37,355
Oh?!
393
00:18:37,423 --> 00:18:38,656
Hey! Seriously...
Corporal Bishop!
394
00:18:38,725 --> 00:18:40,457
Give him the Webley!
The what?
395
00:18:40,526 --> 00:18:43,094
What's a web...
Thank you, Corporal Bishop.
396
00:18:43,162 --> 00:18:46,330
The pleasure was all mine
Lance Corporal Woodhouse.
397
00:18:46,399 --> 00:18:48,966
Damn shame he'll send you
packing when he comes to.
398
00:18:49,035 --> 00:18:52,236
Oh, I'll just yank his pants off,
splash a lot of scotch and
399
00:18:52,304 --> 00:18:55,539
women's underthings about... then
tell him he slipped and fell,
400
00:18:55,608 --> 00:18:59,473
chasing a terrified Asian
prostitute out onto the patio.
401
00:19:00,332 --> 00:19:04,414
It's not the first time I bashed his
head in and had to cover my tracks.
402
00:19:04,483 --> 00:19:06,282
Happens three, four
times a year...
403
00:19:06,777 --> 00:19:08,338
- Roy?
- Well...
404
00:19:08,458 --> 00:19:09,806
Guess you and me...
405
00:19:09,926 --> 00:19:13,479
are the last two left in the tontin, eh?
Yeah.
406
00:19:13,599 --> 00:19:15,309
I guess we are.
407
00:19:18,535 --> 00:19:20,615
Hard to believe, eh?
Well,
408
00:19:20,735 --> 00:19:23,818
we were the two youngest.
No, no, not that.
409
00:19:24,149 --> 00:19:26,850
The fact that the Government
let you two fruit batch
410
00:19:26,970 --> 00:19:28,218
adopt the baby.
411
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:34,010
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www.addic7ed.com
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00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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