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1
00:01:26,250 --> 00:01:29,690
The creature, known only as the Hulk,
rampaged through Las Vegas last night
2
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:32,790
during a battle with a similar monster
authorities are referring to as the
3
00:01:32,790 --> 00:01:37,030
Abomination. Police and military
combined were unable to stop the two
4
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:39,470
behemoths from trashing several casinos.
5
00:01:39,730 --> 00:01:43,190
With damages running into the millions,
it's amazing no one was killed.
6
00:01:43,650 --> 00:01:45,570
Neither of the creatures' whereabouts is
known.
7
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:56,760
dump, Fury.
8
00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:01,600
The Fantastic Four get the Baxter
building, and we get an old abandoned
9
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,200
warehouse down by the wharf.
10
00:02:03,860 --> 00:02:09,000
I don't expect anyone who walks around
in a blue helmet to understand what
11
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,000
doing here.
12
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:11,700
It's called being low -key.
13
00:02:15,940 --> 00:02:17,440
My name is Nick Fury.
14
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:21,160
I'm the director of S .H .I .E .L .D.
and your host for today.
15
00:02:21,540 --> 00:02:23,420
Gotta say, the host, Fury?
16
00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:26,780
I really like your sausage -to -biscuit
ratio.
17
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:33,260
Now the mouth here is Hawkeye. Going
around the table, we have the Scarlet
18
00:02:33,260 --> 00:02:40,080
Witch, Miss Marvel, as well as Spider
-Woman, both of whom work for me. I
19
00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:41,420
don't understand what we're doing here.
20
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:46,180
S .H .I .E .L .D. wants a team of
superheroes in the public eye.
21
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:47,840
Job one,
22
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:50,280
the Hulk.
23
00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:55,440
Well, well, well, what a classy joint
you got here, Fury. What happened?
24
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,500
Congress, uh, cut your budget?
25
00:02:58,860 --> 00:03:00,320
You all know Iron Man.
26
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:01,940
He's the one that's late.
27
00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:06,140
Well, you see, boys and girls, it's
because I was out actually saving lives.
28
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:08,140
Maybe you should try it sometime.
29
00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:12,320
The world doesn't come to a stop just
because the Hulk comes around and scares
30
00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:13,099
few people.
31
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:14,300
Abomination was a threat.
32
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:15,900
The Hulk stopped it.
33
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:21,280
Are you telling me that you think that
the living laser and the constrictor are
34
00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:22,540
more of a threat than the Hulk?
35
00:03:25,340 --> 00:03:27,260
Oh, Carol, look at you.
36
00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:33,540
Not quite sure what the Skrulls did to
you, hon, but it looks to me like you
37
00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:34,960
a fetish for green guys.
38
00:03:35,860 --> 00:03:40,200
You have no idea what you're talking
about. You're a fucking fool running
39
00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:44,620
in an expensive suit, one publicity
stunt after another. Fuck you.
40
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:49,980
I've silenced all sound waves but mine
at the moment.
41
00:03:50,740 --> 00:03:52,140
I'd like to say two things.
42
00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:55,500
First, you guys are acting like
children.
43
00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:57,880
Second, I don't work for the government.
44
00:04:04,740 --> 00:04:05,740
Wanda, wait!
45
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:20,880
Jarvis, let's go autopilot to Death
Valley.
46
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:22,680
I'm gonna take a nap.
47
00:04:50,930 --> 00:04:51,930
Natasha.
48
00:04:55,690 --> 00:04:57,770
I heard you're on a special mission for
Fury.
49
00:04:59,110 --> 00:05:00,110
I was.
50
00:05:00,830 --> 00:05:01,830
I'm back.
51
00:05:05,210 --> 00:05:06,870
I also heard about you in Stark.
52
00:05:08,070 --> 00:05:10,390
You heard wrong. That was insistent.
53
00:05:13,930 --> 00:05:15,350
Strictly professional now, huh?
54
00:05:16,910 --> 00:05:18,570
You know who I am and what I'm about.
55
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,420
I hear they want you to open a West
Coast branch.
56
00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:24,140
Seems like you hear everything.
57
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:26,760
Come to say goodbye?
58
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,120
No.
59
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:34,680
To say hello.
60
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:05,080
Please.
61
00:09:49,610 --> 00:09:52,410
oh oh
62
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:31,960
Thank you.
63
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,040
Mm.
64
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:22,240
Mm.
65
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:55,440
Thank you.
66
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:32,600
You need to come with me.
67
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,600
I've had satellites tracking you for two
days now.
68
00:23:37,940 --> 00:23:39,200
Can't go home empty -handed.
69
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:42,860
Okay. Hard way it is.
70
00:25:01,570 --> 00:25:02,570
Azalea?
71
00:25:05,410 --> 00:25:06,410
Call S .H .I .E .L .D.
72
00:25:24,590 --> 00:25:27,750
Well, the Avengers are off to an
auspicious beginning.
73
00:25:28,850 --> 00:25:29,850
Worse than that.
74
00:25:30,190 --> 00:25:32,490
Iron Man just got his ass handed to him
by Hulk.
75
00:25:32,690 --> 00:25:33,690
Really?
76
00:25:34,030 --> 00:25:36,270
150 miles with one punch.
77
00:25:37,070 --> 00:25:39,230
Good. That's good.
78
00:25:41,250 --> 00:25:42,690
Set up another meeting.
79
00:25:43,930 --> 00:25:45,510
Make sure Stark comes.
80
00:25:47,750 --> 00:25:49,930
You're really excited about this, aren't
you?
81
00:25:51,190 --> 00:25:52,190
I am.
82
00:25:54,030 --> 00:25:56,210
We should do something about that.
83
00:27:28,499 --> 00:27:33,060
Slowly slowly piss don't you fucking
bite my dick Sharon
84
00:27:54,290 --> 00:27:55,990
Let me see your tongue. Let me see your
tongue.
85
00:27:56,550 --> 00:27:57,550
Yes.
86
00:28:32,300 --> 00:28:33,780
Oh, shit.
87
00:28:34,580 --> 00:28:35,580
Yeah.
88
00:28:38,220 --> 00:28:40,280
Oh, you fucking nice.
89
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:42,780
Oh, yes.
90
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,540
Take a look at my dick. Grab that.
91
00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:50,640
Yeah. Squeeze it. Make up against my
face, huh?
92
00:28:50,860 --> 00:28:52,720
It's like, get your dick nice and high,
Mr. P. Yeah.
93
00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:59,560
Oh, no teeth on that thing. No teeth.
Just your tongue, dude.
94
00:28:59,940 --> 00:29:00,940
Just your tongue, yeah.
95
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:08,920
Oh, you
96
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:14,200
fucking rat. Ooh.
97
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:16,340
Ooh. Yeah.
98
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:38,520
DICK
99
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:14,700
If I want to put you inside my pussy,
you know I'm a strong girl, right?
100
00:32:36,460 --> 00:32:37,460
Thank you.
101
00:34:01,419 --> 00:34:04,220
oh yes
102
00:34:26,989 --> 00:34:27,989
Oh, yeah.
103
00:34:28,850 --> 00:34:35,750
Oh, you fucking... Oh, you fucking nasty
girl.
104
00:34:35,929 --> 00:34:38,590
You nasty girl, aren't you?
105
00:34:41,090 --> 00:34:42,350
Oh, right there.
106
00:34:43,449 --> 00:34:44,449
Right there.
107
00:34:45,870 --> 00:34:46,870
That's where you are.
108
00:34:47,850 --> 00:34:48,850
Yeah,
109
00:34:49,989 --> 00:34:51,550
you would be in charge. Go ahead and
fuck me then.
110
00:34:51,949 --> 00:34:52,949
Go ahead.
111
00:34:54,909 --> 00:34:57,060
Fuck my ass. Oh, this feels so good.
112
00:34:57,500 --> 00:34:58,960
It's so hot in there.
113
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:00,440
I don't know what.
114
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:04,700
Is it wrong that my fucking asshole gets
wet whenever you stick your big cock
115
00:35:04,700 --> 00:35:05,700
inside it?
116
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:09,480
It's even hotter than a fucking pussy,
isn't it? Yeah, that's it.
117
00:35:11,140 --> 00:35:14,980
And it just sucks just fucking tasting
it. I am taking in that goddamn asshole
118
00:35:14,980 --> 00:35:15,980
on it.
119
00:35:16,720 --> 00:35:17,940
Oh, yeah.
120
00:35:18,980 --> 00:35:19,980
Fuck me.
121
00:35:20,940 --> 00:35:23,460
I'm a pervert. I'm a pervert.
122
00:35:24,910 --> 00:35:25,910
Thank you.
123
00:36:44,490 --> 00:36:47,290
Yes. Yes.
124
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:05,040
Fucking horrid.
125
00:38:53,740 --> 00:38:54,740
in summer.
126
00:39:53,169 --> 00:39:56,030
You know I'm not good at taking your
fucking orders. Yes.
127
00:39:56,430 --> 00:39:57,570
I'm going to slit your goddamn dick.
128
00:40:38,470 --> 00:40:39,470
What? I wanna work for you.
129
00:41:43,150 --> 00:41:44,150
I see you're excited.
130
00:43:22,670 --> 00:43:23,670
That's pretty amazing.
131
00:43:25,030 --> 00:43:28,430
Compared to my abilities, mine are
mostly impossible.
132
00:43:29,650 --> 00:43:31,230
I'm like a freight train.
133
00:43:31,450 --> 00:43:32,450
I'm mapping.
134
00:43:32,610 --> 00:43:36,390
But your magic is subtle.
135
00:43:36,810 --> 00:43:38,030
It's not magic.
136
00:43:40,190 --> 00:43:41,190
Really,
137
00:43:42,650 --> 00:43:44,110
I thought everyone does.
138
00:43:45,190 --> 00:43:47,250
My mutant power alters probability.
139
00:43:47,930 --> 00:43:50,330
If I concentrate hard enough...
140
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:52,480
I can almost make anything happen.
141
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:55,980
Well, read my mind then.
142
00:43:58,900 --> 00:43:59,960
Almost anything.
143
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:04,800
That's a shame. You would really like
what I was thinking.
144
00:44:06,720 --> 00:44:07,940
Why don't you tell me?
145
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:13,360
I was thinking that you were dangerous
and beautiful.
146
00:46:23,549 --> 00:46:25,490
I love
147
00:46:25,490 --> 00:46:46,250
you.
148
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:10,640
Thank you.
149
00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:47,400
I love you.
150
00:48:27,850 --> 00:48:28,850
Thank you.
151
00:49:37,339 --> 00:49:40,140
um um
152
00:50:43,009 --> 00:50:45,810
Thank you.
153
00:51:12,300 --> 00:51:15,020
Amen. Amen.
154
00:51:59,370 --> 00:52:02,170
um um
155
00:53:09,770 --> 00:53:10,770
I love you.
156
00:54:12,270 --> 00:54:13,270
See ya!
157
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:41,980
I try not to concern myself with the
affairs of mortals.
158
00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:47,600
Save those which stem from my brother
Loki, of course.
159
00:59:49,120 --> 00:59:50,120
I understand.
160
00:59:50,860 --> 00:59:52,920
My cousin is a terrifying enemy.
161
00:59:54,540 --> 00:59:56,500
Green is a scary color.
162
00:59:58,160 --> 01:00:01,140
Odin's beard, you women of Midgard, are
so insolent.
163
01:00:02,240 --> 01:00:05,660
I was the one who lifted the Midgard
serpent.
164
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:10,400
I defeated Surtur in hand -to -hand
combat.
165
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:13,500
I even walked in Hela's realm.
166
01:00:13,760 --> 01:00:16,020
And you think I'd quail at the Hulk?
167
01:00:17,140 --> 01:00:18,140
Any Hulk?
168
01:00:22,620 --> 01:00:24,380
I guess we're about to find out.
169
01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:06,200
Amen.
170
01:02:35,880 --> 01:02:36,880
Ah.
171
01:03:14,990 --> 01:03:15,990
mm -hmm
172
01:05:29,610 --> 01:05:30,610
Yes!
173
01:08:06,560 --> 01:08:09,360
Oh, yeah.
174
01:14:32,780 --> 01:14:34,500
Real hard. Real hard.
175
01:14:39,420 --> 01:14:40,420
Yes.
176
01:14:43,740 --> 01:14:44,740
Yes.
177
01:14:50,840 --> 01:14:54,940
I'm looking at it. I'm watching it go
in.
178
01:14:55,480 --> 01:14:57,900
I'm watching it.
179
01:14:59,020 --> 01:15:01,220
Yeah. Looks good.
180
01:15:21,230 --> 01:15:23,070
Come on Thor, come on.
181
01:15:38,350 --> 01:15:39,350
Oh my god.
182
01:17:43,880 --> 01:17:45,340
Nobody invited you, wall crawler.
183
01:17:46,020 --> 01:17:48,180
No, but they invited the William Tell
wannabe.
184
01:17:48,860 --> 01:17:50,400
Hey, kid, knock it off. You're out of
line.
185
01:18:32,240 --> 01:18:33,240
to the squad.
186
01:18:39,120 --> 01:18:41,560
So, this isn't about Thor, is it?
187
01:18:41,840 --> 01:18:44,300
Because seriously, it is. I'm likely to
hurl in my mask.
188
01:18:45,720 --> 01:18:47,140
No, it isn't.
189
01:18:47,460 --> 01:18:53,140
But listen, this team, the Avengers,
it's for the public so people feel safe.
190
01:18:53,980 --> 01:18:55,720
I see people every day.
191
01:18:56,900 --> 01:18:59,300
True, but you have an image problem.
192
01:18:59,640 --> 01:19:01,840
I have an image problem? I have an image
problem.
193
01:19:02,240 --> 01:19:03,240
Really?
194
01:19:05,080 --> 01:19:06,780
Yeah, you kind of got a point there,
actually.
195
01:19:08,720 --> 01:19:09,860
Don't worry about it, though.
196
01:19:10,220 --> 01:19:12,200
You're a lot more interesting than Thor.
197
01:20:56,720 --> 01:20:57,720
Bye.
198
01:21:40,430 --> 01:21:41,430
Oh.
199
01:22:41,220 --> 01:22:44,020
um um
200
01:22:44,020 --> 01:22:49,820
um
201
01:23:32,720 --> 01:23:34,020
Do you like that color?
202
01:23:52,990 --> 01:23:54,690
um um
203
01:24:07,310 --> 01:24:08,310
Ugh.
204
01:41:15,210 --> 01:41:16,330
Guess I'm not going after the Hulk.
205
01:41:17,850 --> 01:41:20,750
If it makes you feel any better, I'm not
going either.
206
01:41:21,890 --> 01:41:22,890
I'm going to go with you.
207
01:41:24,490 --> 01:41:25,490
Wait, where are we going?
208
01:41:28,130 --> 01:41:30,030
The Arctic Circle, huh?
209
01:41:33,270 --> 01:41:35,150
Halfway around the world with this
clown?
210
01:41:35,790 --> 01:41:37,490
Yip -dee -fucking -doo.
211
01:41:39,290 --> 01:41:42,110
You know, telling you to shut up,
Barton, is becoming old.
212
01:41:44,320 --> 01:41:49,840
So, what exactly is in the Arctic
Circle? Other than the...
213
01:42:23,980 --> 01:42:25,040
Is that what I think it is?
214
01:43:22,640 --> 01:43:23,640
Thank you.
13758
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