All language subtitles for hope.and.faith.s02e19-e20.hdtv-lol

Waffle, can't we have oatmeal?

I don't want oatmeal. Mom, can we have
pancakes?

I'll have an omelet, egg whites only.

Mom, I thought you stole this button
back on. It's still dangling.

You heard me say omelet, right?

Hope, you didn't iron my blue shirt.

For heaven's sakes, woman, what do you
do around here all day? Yeah.

What do I do around here all day?

Absolutely everything.

You people have no idea how lost you'd
be without me.

You're right, Hope.

If only there were some way to get us
all to appreciate you more.

And, at the same time, get me some
exposure on national television.

What are you talking about?

Faith.

What did you do?

Faith.

Each week, from across America, two
families are chosen.

This week, the Melvilles, rich, spoiled
New Yorkers who live in a Park Avenue

penthouse. Wife Cynthia is a pampered
princess, and 16 -year -old daughter

Madison is an unbelievable brat.

Husband Aaron is a workaholic who never
spends time with his kids.

Living with them is Cynthia's sister
Kathy.

In exchange for rent and board, Cynthia
forces Kathy to do all the cooking,

cleaning, and childcare.

And the Shanowskis.

A middle -class family from Glen Falls,
Ohio.

Uptight stay -at -home mom Hope and her
orthodontist husband Charlie were

raising three kids in an orderly home.

Until Hope's sister, a washed -up soap
opera diva, moved in and demanded

everyone's lives revolve around her.

But now, each wife is about to get a new
husband.

No! You idiot!

New children.

I hate you!

A new sister.

And a new life.

Hope Shanowski, an anal

retentive homemaker, is leading her
husband, kids, and slightly unbalanced

sister to trade lives with Cynthia
Melville, a rich, lazy New Yorker who

her sister like a slave.

What do the women hope to gain from the
swap?

My family doesn't appreciate anything I
do for them.

For instance.

Well, I can't think of anything I do.

But I haven't run off with my trainer
yet.

And believe me, I have been tempted.

I definitely like my family to
appreciate me more.

Not that they do not appreciate me.

I mean, do. Not do. They do do.

Not do do.

Although they do do do.

Why did I want to do this?

I didn't.

Cynthia said I had to or else I could
just go live on the street.

Why am I excited about doing Life Swap?
Well, I think it will give me an

opportunity to laugh and cry and

be surprised.

You know, really just express my whole
broad range of emotion as an actress.

Play somebody real, which is a stretch
for me.

After a thousand -mile trip, the wives
get to see where they'll be living for

the next two weeks.

Wow.

Fancy.

Cynthia arrived in suburban Ohio, where
there's no one to carry her bag.

Hope is thrilled with her New York
penthouse. Look at the ceiling.

What, 50 feet high?

Oh, the view.

Cynthia, however, is not as thrilled.

What a dump.

Ah, this is funny.

Where's the real house?

And now it's the moment of truth. The
two wives come face to face with their

families. Cynthia likes what she sees.

I'm Charlie.

Yeah. I'm going to give your new wife a
hug.

Oh, okay.

Oh, wow.

These are my kids.

Oh, yeah. Hi.

Hi. I'm Sydney.

Hi, Sidney. Hi, I'm Hayley. Hi, Hayley.
And we... I'm Justin.

Hi, Justin.

Back at the Melvilles, Hope's reception
isn't nearly as warm. Hey, I'm here. I'm

Hope.

What's that?

I said, I'm Hope. Not you.

I'm on the phone.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh. Where are you from?

Hello? Oh, I'm from... No! You idiot!

I said, tell!

Tell!

Adieu, adieu, adieu!

I'm Faith Fairfield.

And this is for you.

And yes, this is my Emmy. And yes, it's
real.

And no, you can't hold it.

But I want to hear all about you. Now,
how big a fan are you of mine? So far,

not very big.

You're not intimidated by me.

I like that.

And America will like the fact that this
Emmy award -winning actress is now

available for TV, film, and commercials.

But no feminine hygiene product.

Unless it's overseas.

Mi tampano es muy absorbiento.

I'm Kathy.

I'll unpack your bag.

Oh, no, no, that's not necessary. No,
no, no, no, I insist. No, I have it. No,

I've got it. No, I can do it. I've got
it. Oh,

what a time. I'm stupid. I'm the idiot.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, nice nightie.

Oh, thank you.

I was kidding.

Kathy.

This is lovely.

You're not an idiot.

Yes, I am. Trust me.

Back at the Chinowskis, it looks like
Faith went to design school and got a

degree in tacky.

This is my room, which I decorated
myself.

Now, my daily routine is I like to wake
up around noon and then hope, well, now

you, gets to make my breakfast and clean
my room and do all my laundry.

Then I like to go for a power walk.

And you get to ride next to me in the
car with the windows rolled down and the

radio on because headphones really mess
up my hair. You know, normal stuff.

Let me ask you a question.

Do you rent this room out by the hour?

No.

How much do you think I can get?

Back at the Melville, Hope is a little
surprised to see how Kathy lives. This

my room.

It's also the laundry slash pantry.

Well, that's good then, in case you ever
want to get a midnight snack.

Oh, that's not allowed.

So how long have you been living with
your sister?

Ten years.

But I earn my keep by doing all that
housework and the child care.

Does Cynthia ever get to spend much time
with kids? Oh, sure.

At least an hour a week.

Usually during her colonic. She likes to
multitask.

I'd like to meet this Hope.

I mean, what kind of woman would cook
and clean and take her kids to school?

Mommy, I'm hungry.

Oh. So, Brianna's your daughter? No, no,
no. She's Cynthia. I just gave birth to

her because Cynthia promised me a car.

But since it was a girl, she just got me
a bike.

Oh.

Hello there. Aren't you adorable?

So, which one are you?

Bradley or Brent?

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

They all seem very nice.

I'm sure Bradley or Brent only hit me
because he misses his mommy.

Even though she only sees her kids one
hour a week when she's getting her

flushed.

I'm not going to have to do that, am I?

I did find it a little odd that Cynthia
makes her sister live in the pantry.

Slash laundry room.

I like my room.

It's warm and cozy, especially when the
dryer's on.

Excuse me, I have to fold the towels.

And the sister?

I guess every village needs an idiot.

Cindy and I had this instant connection.

I'm sure when this is all over, we're
going to be best friends forever and

and ever.

And ever.

Coming up next, the wives live each
other's lives by each other's rules.

Would you like me to massage your
breasts as well? What? Oh, oh no.

99, 100.

Just get up, get up, get up!

She hit me.

Prim and proper housewife, Hope
Chanowski.

Fabulous.

has traded lives with rich, obnoxious
New Yorker Cynthia Melville.

What a dump!

It's the first day of the swap, and
Cynthia Melville has to get up at 6,

breakfast, and get the kids off to
school. Where's our breakfast?

Right here.

And I don't know how you kept, like,
your coffee, so I left it black.

That's how I take mine.

Whoa, whoa, uh...

This isn't really how we do things
around here. Well, the rule said to feed

kids and get them off to school.

Well, what are we supposed to have for
lunch?

Oh.

Nope.

Oh.

Here's your cab money.

Oh.

Best mom ever.

Charlie,

honey, let's go back to bed.

What? No, no, I'm up.

Did she take back to bed?

Because I wasn't in bed with her.

And in New York, Hope, an early riser,
struggles to stay in bed until noon.

10 .49.

This is ridiculous.

I'm getting up.

But she just can't bring herself to
break the rules.

71 minutes, Hope.

You can do it.

Meanwhile, at the Shanowski household,
the domestically challenged Cynthia must

deal with the former soap diva's
demands.

Okay. Hand wash cold water.

Hand wash warm water.

And hand wash hot water. Oh, and this
isn't dirty, but it smells kind of

So I thought maybe you could...

Spray it with some perfume and then
throw it around outside for a while.

You've got to be kidding me.

I wish I was.

Here, smell it.

Whoa! Whoa!

It's a very different world back at the
Melvilles, where Hope gets pampered by

Cynthia's sister.

Would you like me to massage your
breasts as well? What? Oh, oh no, no.

loose. Way loose.

Well, not loose, loose.

Although I do have three kids and I
breastfed every one of them.

I breastfed all of Cynthia's kids, too.

In the afternoon, Cynthia must suffer
through Faith's acting exercise. Well, I

do declare what a beautiful day it is
outside.

Okay, give me another one.

Irish. Well, top of the morning to you.
What a beautiful day it is outside.

That sounds southern to me.

Up to the untrained ear.

Give me another one.

Uh, Indian.

Well, tandoori morning.

What a beautiful day it is outside.

Are you guys getting this?

And Hope tries to stay awake during a
late dinner with Aaron.

What's wrong?

Oh, I'm just tired. Not you.

Fine.

What were you saying?

Hello? Oh, me? I was just saying that
I'm tired.

See, at my house, 10 p .m. means jammies
on. Speak up.

At my house, 10 p .m. means jammies on.
Not you.

Is it good?

Hello? Oh, yes, it's good. It's very
good.

Almonds are good.

It's good.

As the week progresses, tempers flare
when Hope, desperate for something to

do... A board?

tries to pitch in with the housework,
which is clearly Kathy's domain.

All done?

No, I'll go.

No, no. No, I got it. I have it. I have
it. No, I have it. I have it. Okay.

Just get up! Get up! Get up!

Go!

Every single thing about this family is
wrong.

They don't spend time together. They
don't communicate.

And they treat Kathy like a slave.

Did you mop the kitchen floor?

No, just a little damp mop.

But I didn't use soap.

That doesn't count.

Why do you hate me so much?

Tensions are just as high at the
Shanowskis, where Faith is driving

crazy. Cynthia!

Cynthia!

Give me the phone. No.

Cynthia! No!

Yes! You've been on it for almost a half
an hour.

I just painted my toes and they're still
wet. Can I get a refill?

Oh, sorry.

I'm sensing some hostility from Cynthia,
and I really don't know where it's

coming from.

Wait a minute.

Of course.

She's jealous.

I'm a beautiful, gorgeous, sexy,
sizzling hot celebrity.

And she's a big nobody.

A nothing.

A no one.

You know.

I'm going to go share this insight with
her. I really think it'll help clear the

air. Be right back.

She hit me.

Coming up next, the rules are about to
change, and everyone is at their

point. That is it.

No!

I don't know how you put up with her.

That was really bad.

She's a selfish dingbat. I'm out of
here.

The rules are about to change, and after
a week living each other's lives, the

wives are ready to snap.

Cynthia!

Hope can't take it anymore and confronts
Kathy.

Kathy, can I ask you a question?

Do you ever feel like your sister takes
advantage of you?

What do you mean?

Well, for example, you gave birth to her
baby and all you

got was a bike.

It is a 10 speed.

Please don't do this.

Camera's right there.

Things go no better when she tries to
connect with Cynthia's naughty daughter,

Madison. I like you better.

You do?

I do.

Really nice, sparkly.

So if there's anything I can do, just
let me know.

Oh, actually, I lost my diaphragm, and I
need you to take me to the gyno to get

a new one.

Your what?

My diaphragm.

It's a birth control device. I know what
it is.

Does your mother approve of you having a
diaphragm? Oh, God, no. She wanted me

to go on the pill, but I didn't want to
get bloated.

I see.

You're 16, right?

Right.

Back in Glen Falls, Cynthia has had all
she can take from fame. That truck

didn't hit you. It clipped you.

I've had it with her.

I don't know how you put up with her.

She's a selfish dingbat.

And you know what?

You can't do an accident to save your
life.

What the hell I can't, Governor.

Put that on the barbie.

I hope you're getting this.

Okay, Charlie, let's get you out of
those wet clothes.

What?

Those wet clothes.

The rules change tomorrow, and as far as
Hope is concerned, it's not a moment

too soon.

I have followed all the rules, except I
did do a little mopping, but without

soap.

I even bit my tongue while I watched all
of you. You treat Kathy like a slave.

By the way, I saw that bike.

And I'm no math whiz, but I only count
at five speeds.

However, it will be a cold day in H -E
-double -L before I ever take a 16 -year

-old girl to get a diaphragm.

That's a good point.

Thank you.

Not you.

See where the Nikkei opens and then take
care of it.

Are you on the phone?

That is it!

No!

I can't wait for our rules change.

This family needs help, especially
Kathy.

Sisters just shouldn't take advantage of
each other.

I suppose some people might think Faith
takes advantage of me, but that's only

because I let her.

So really, I'm taking advantage of
myself, which is really kind of

a demeaning sort of way.

I'm just really scared that she's going
to take over and do all the chores.

And then Aaron is going to tell Cynthia
and Cynthia is going to get really mad.

This could be worse than the time I
opened a new jelly when there was still

old jelly left in the jar.

That was really bad.

Look, I'm not saying that it's my goal
to make Faith cry.

Well, maybe it is.

I have treated Cynthia exactly the way I
treat Hope. And for some reason, she is

taking offense.

But I'll tell you one thing. That woman
has an ass to grind, and I'm nobody's

ass.

I'm not letting her tell me what to do.

I'm out of here.

Coming up next, the rules change and all
hell breaks loose.

Give me that. You're breaking the rules.

You give me that right now. Aaron!

Aaron! What are you doing for birth
control?

Tomorrow I'll take you to get a
diaphragm.

Why don't you leave me the f*** alone?

I want my mom now.

I will fight you.

Okay. Cynthia Melville and Hope
Shanowski swapped lives and spent a week

by each other's rules.

But now... Everything is about to change
as the new wives take control.

It's the first day of the rules change,
and after some serious contemplation...

Okay, now the blood is starting to rush
to my head.

Faith has decided to stay.

I'm just going to think of this as the
greatest role I've ever played.

So, Sid, what are you doing for birth
control?

Uh, nothing.

Well, that's totally irresponsible.

Tomorrow I'll take you to get a
diaphragm.

See, actually, I'm not sexually active.
I'm a virgin.

What are you, chicken?

Cynthia, I really don't think that's
very appropriate. She's only 16.

New rule for you.

But I really... At the

Melville... Madison has already violated
her new curfew.

It's two in the morning, young lady.

What do you have to say for yourself?

Off. Why don't you leave this? I love
you.

Hope appeals to Aaron to enforce the
rules.

She was two hours past her curfew.
You're kidding. And she cursed at me.

What a bitch.

Now, now, Aaron.

Two wrongs don't make a right. She can
dump the 10 ,000 shares for all I care.

Are you on the phone?

I told you, no cell phones in the house.

Give me that. Give me that. You're
breaking the rules. You give me that

now. Aaron!

Aaron! Get back here!

Open this door right now! No!

All right!

I don't want to have to do this, but you
left me no choice.

Tomorrow, you're both getting brownie
faces on the fridge.

What?

Brownie faces. Not you!

Tell her to dump the shares.

Faith isn't over her head when she takes
on the role of a lifetime, that of a

homemaker. Aunt May, have you seen my
math book? It's in your backpack.

No.

Just someone's garbage.

Is something burning? It's probably me.
I haven't showered in nine days.

Yeah, we know.

Oh, just maybe the math book.

All right, everybody freeze. If the
garbage is in your backpack and the math

book is in the oven,

I know where the chicken is.

Dinner's ready.

Oh, wait.

The vegetable.

You are an idiot. You cooked my math
book, you threw the chicken in the

and now you're serving frozen...

Faith, you have got to do my laundry.

I have no clean underwear.

I turned mine inside out.

Madison and Aaron aren't the only ones
breaking Hope's rules.

Kathy is supposed to be sleeping in the
guest room, but she refuses to leave the

pantry slash laundry room.

Kathy? Kathy, I know you're in there.

I can hear the dryer.

Kathy?

Unhappy with the way things are going,
Hope thinks a family meeting might draw

the Melvilles closer together.

Now, you're probably wondering why I
asked you to draw pictures of your

Just to guess, because you're lame?

No, because I thought it would be a
better way to tell how you feel about

family. Aaron, tell us about your
drawing. Well, this is my attorney, this

accountant, and this is the guy from my
cellular phone company.

It's my calling circle.

So this is your family?

The people you care most about in your
life?

No.

Oh, my gosh.

Aaron, this is what Brianna thinks about
her daddy.

Is this what you want, Aaron?

To be a phone head?

To be a stranger to your own kids?

Wouldn't you rather have a thousand
anytime minutes with your daughter?

Please, Daddy.

Oh, no, no.

Aaron, it's okay.

Look, we can start with unlimited nights
and weekends.

I have to admit, I was a little
surprised by Aaron's breakdown.

Madison said he hasn't cried like that
since the tech bubble burst.

And the Melvilles aren't the only family
unraveling. I need to talk to my mom.

Sure you do, so you can tell her about
the math book. Well, guess what? I got

stuff on you you don't even know about.

I want my mom now.

She knows I got nothing.

Haley, sweetie, what's wrong?

Nothing. Hey, what's going on? I think
Haley's still upset about dinner.

Yeah, well, a lot of us are still upset
about dinner.

It's not about dinner. I just need mom.

What is with her?

She's moody and cranky. She's crying for
no reason.

Don't be ridiculous. She's nine years
old.

She's 12.

What?

Turn that camera off.

Now. I said now.

I will fight you.

Up next, Charlie gets more than he
bargained for when Cynthia suggests they

enjoy a nice dinner out on the town.

I would love for you to work on my
mouth.

And Hope gets a surprise from Aaron.

And a Cynthia -style makeover.

Why we're not once go around spreading
rumors.

And Kathy breaks out of the pantry
cabaret style.

Hope and Cynthia have taken control of
their new household, leaving everyone in

crisis.

Haley, sweetie, what's wrong?

Turn that camera off.

Kathy, I know you're in there.

Kathy!

Since Haley's mom is away, Faith steps
up and reveals her maternal side.

My mother gave me a French manicure when
I got my first... upper respiratory

infection.

Thanks, Aunt Faith.

I love you.

I love you too, sweetie.

And don't worry about anything.

That cough should clear up in five to
seven days.

And Hope inspires breakthroughs of her
own.

Come on, Kathy.

There's got to be something you've
always wanted to do. Oh, there is.

Sometimes I fantasize about leaving wet
clothes in the washer overnight and

maybe drying them in the morning.

Okay.

Bigger than that.

Well, Mrs. Hildebrand, my second grade
teacher, once told me I had a pretty

voice.

So why don't you start singing?

No, I couldn't.

No, I do not believe there's anything
you can't do if you just put your mind

it. You have to follow your dreams.

I've made a decision.

I'm quitting my job and selling the
apartment.

I never wanted all of this.

How are we going to live?

Off the land. I'm good with my hand.

I can sell redwood sculptures at sawdust
festivals, and in the winter, I'll work

the renaissance fairs.

I feel so free.

Ho!

Meanwhile,

Cynthia thinks Charlie needs to spend
more romantic time with Hope.

So she's arranged a night out away from
Faith and the kid.

This is nice, isn't it?

It really is. It really is. You know,
from now on, once a week, we're going to

go out and have a nice dinner, just me
and Hope.

Oh, let's forget about Hope, shall we?

So, you're an orthodontist. Yeah.

I would love for you to work on my
mouth.

Yeah, I think...

Maybe you've had enough to drink, huh?
Come on.

Oh, I can't help it if you're so cute.

Can we get some coffee over here?

Is that your foot?

Check, please.

Well, I'll tell you one thing. After
living with that woman, a very

aggressive woman, I have never been...

More in love with my wife.

Later, when Charlie returns home from
his dinner with Cynthia, Faith fills him

in on the crisis with Haley.

How was your night?

Oh, you know, I was yours.

Oh,

my

baby.

Faith really impressed me.

Although I will never give up my dream
of her moving away to some very remote,

possibly hostile country with no phones
or visible means of escape.

She really came through.

Thanks, Faith.

What are you thanking her for? She's
nothing but a lazy, ungrateful mooch.

that's enough. I don't know how they do
things in your house, but here, Faith is

not the maid. Yes.

She may be selfish.

She may be self -absorbed and incredibly
self -centered. And I realize that all

those things may be the same thing, but
with her, it is worth repeating.

Nevertheless, she is a member of our
family.

Oh, Charlie.

Hope's family.

Let's not forget that.

The thing that makes me proudest of all
is that I got through the night without

telling the whole world that Haley got
her period.

And that makes me feel really good about
myself.

Look, I just want to get out of here and
get back to my life.

And now that it's over and Charlie
clearly is in love with his wife, for

whatever reason, I just want to say that
the whole coming on to him thing was

just a joke.

You're so pretty.

Such a pretty boy.

The truth is, I left my husband.

And I really miss Madison and the twins
and... Brianna.

Brianna, yeah.

Cynthia is a classic narcissist who
probably wasn't breastfed, which

why she can't see the world beyond her
own needs.

Much like an infant.

Of course, so is Aunt Faith, but I mean,
I like her much better. Me too.

And Cynthia's kind of creepy.

Very creepy.

Very, very creepy.

Even Madison comes around when Hope
agrees to undergo a Melville -style

makeover. I've never had a makeover
before.

How do I look?

Not nearly as dorky as when you got
here.

Whoa! Do you like?

Yeah, I look hot.

Hot.

Smoky. Okay, let's not get carried away.

You know, you remind me of my daughter.

Are you guys close?

I try, but she doesn't want to have
anything to do with me.

At least you try.

So she knows you love her.

Well, I'm sure your mother loves you,
too.

Very much.

She wouldn't love me if she knew I was a
virgin.

She'd start going, What?

She thinks I'm chicken.

But I thought you had a diaphragm. I
only got it because everyone else has

You listen here.

You're 16 years old.

There's no need to hurry.

The longer you wait, the better it'll
be.

You know, you're not as rank as I
thought.

You're like a real mom.

Your kids are lucky to have you.

You know, when I first got here, I felt
lost.

I didn't know why I was doing this.

But now I can see I've had quite an
impact on this family.

You see, one of the things I've always
been good at...

is encouraging people to follow the
dream.

Can I wash this off?

I'm feeling a little trampy.

But I'd like to take a picture first.

My husband will like it.

He likes it when I, you know.

Never mind.

That's private.

Before I start, I would just like to
thank Hope.

For making me realize there is nothing I
can't do.

Feeling, nothing more than feeling.

Trying to forget my feelings of love.

Tear drops rolling down on my face.

Remember when I was talking to you
about, you know, Encouraging people.

Trying to forget my feelings of love.

Well, seeing Kathy sing tonight.

Feelings. Oh, oh, oh, feelings.

Oh, oh, oh, feel you again in my heart.

Maybe I'm a little too encouraging.

Like with Faith.

It could be partially my fault that
she's, well, you know, delusional.

I'll tell you one thing.

I really do have a whole new respect for
what Hope does around here.

And what amazes me is how she was able
to do it all before I moved in to help

out.

Like when she came to me and she said it
was her goal to win an Emmy, Oscar,

Anna Tony all this year.

Maybe I shouldn't have said, go for it.

Next,

the wives reunite with their husbands
and sisters.

Why don't you just zip it? I'll zip it
when you shut it. I'll shut it when you

zip it. Shut it. Zip it.

Both families have gained a lot from the
swap.

I have never been more in love with my
wife.

I feel so free.

I love you.

I love you too, sweetie.

Your kids are lucky to have you.

Before I start, I would just like to
thank Hope.

I'm really proud of me.

After two weeks apart, the couples are
reunited.

I

love

you. I miss you

so much. I learned my lesson from now
on.

Paul Bunyan?

I missed you so much.

Nobody!

And it's judgment time, as the couples
finally come face to face.

First, I'd like to say, I think your
parenting style is a bit, well, harsh.

And I think you totally take advantage
of your sister.

Well, at least I'm not a doormat like
you.

And your sister is a freak.

She is.

Look, right there. Look.

Are you wearing my clothes?

Yours, mine. What's the difference?

Excuse me. Hope made me realize that
family are the people you're supposed to

take advantage of.

That's not exactly what I said.

So I'm moving out of the pantry.

Moving into the guest bedroom, and I
need $5 ,000 to cut my first album.

What? And Hope made me realize that
money doesn't matter, family does.

That's why I put our penthouse on the
market, and we're going to move to

and live in a yurt.

A yurt? Yes.

What have you done to my family?

It's been six weeks since the swap, and
both households have undergone

significant changes.

I think we all learned a lot from the
swap.

I mean, Faith's been pitching in around
the house, which is a good thing, I

guess.

Actually, it means a lot more work for
me.

Hope has encouraged me to revise my
goals for 05. She was very frank. It

easy to hear.

But I've decided that I'm going to have
to be realistic, so no Oscar, Emmy,

Tony. Instead, I'm just going to go for
the People's Choice Award.

Because let's face it, anybody can win
one of them.

And they tell you in advance if you win,
so you don't have to go if you don't.

But I think I will.

But the most dramatic changes have been
in the Melville household.

I don't want a diaphragm.

I like being a virgin.

Cynthia, I've decided that I'm too old
for a pop career. So, listen, I'm going

to go country.

Check out this song I wrote.

Don't give me no hand to hold.

Don't give me no man to scold.

Just give me, give me that pot of gold.

You know, Kathy, it might sound a little
better if you hit it twice and hold it

at the end.

Don't give me no hand to hold.

Don't give me no man to scold.

Just give me, give me that pot of gold.

Give me that pot of gold.

Like that.

Yeah.

Hanging. It's really not your thing.
Thank you.

next week for another episode of... No,
I need that. I still haven't carved the

feet.

Oh.

What did everyone think?

I think I look as good on TV as I do in
person.

She came on to you?

You told the whole world I got my
period?

You think I'm delusional?

You think you help out around here? Oh,
why don't you shut up? Why don't you zip

it? I'll zip it when you shut it. I'll
shut it when you zip it. Shut it! Zip

Shut it! Zip it! Shut it! Zip it!