Original subtitles

Wow, 95.

That is unbelievable.

I'll tell you what's unbelievable.

He grabbed my butt.

And I liked it.

And I gotta tell you, Hope, the food looks beautiful.

There's just one little thing you forgot.

What?

Oh, look around you. If they can't suck it up with a straw, it shouldn't be on

the menu.

Well, it's four o 'clock. I better go get the cake before the birthday boy

asleep.

Potentially for the last time. Hurry.

This is such a lovely party.

Why, thank you. My sister did most of the cooking, but the champagne glasses

filled with denture soap was my idea.

You're in business with your sister.

Oh. I used to be in business with my sister, too, but unfortunately we had a

falling out and haven't spoken since Pulp Fiction came out.

She thought it was derivative.

I thought it was groundbreaking cinema.

That's awful.

There's nothing you can't forgive a sister for.

If there was, I'd have done it by now.

You're right.

And she's only a few miles away at that fancy retirement home over in Spring

Falls.

They have the good walkers with the tennis balls on the bottom.

Why don't you just hop on a bus and go see her?

Well, you see, I can't. Our families don't speak either, and they won't allow

to leave the premises without family consent.

Well, that's awful.

half of mine to sneak you out of here in the back of my car myself.

Oh, you got spunk, Missy.

Yeah, yeah, you got a little too right here.

Oh, before I forget, here you go.

A check for the balance of the bill. Oh, why, thank you, sir.

And thanks again for letting me participate in the wheelchair race.

Why don't I hold on to that?

What, you don't trust me with the money?

Of course I do. Just an hour ago, I gave you 50 cents to put in the parking

meter. Oh my God, is that what that was for?

See, that's why you're not holding the check. Now go put the money in the

I think I lost it.

In the candy machine.

Great. Well, I don't lose things, which is why I'm keeping the check. Now, let's

present a cake.

Don't lose things, eh?

Well, we'll just see about that.

For he's a jolly good fellow.

Okay, people, that's enough.

Life is short.

But I don't have to tell you that, do I, sir?

Now make a wish.

Oh, for God's sake.

bring this inside.

You start to unload the trunk.

Wow, the trunk.

You sure I'm responsible enough?

You know, this quiche could use just a pinch more tarragon.

I know. That's what I keep telling Hope. Wait a minute.

What are you doing in there?

Escaping, like you said.

Whoever was driving the getaway car needs to ease up on the brakes. A couple

times there, I thought I might toss my cookies.

But I gotta hand it to you.

This was a great plan for breaking me out of the retirement home.

Plan? What plan? I was kidding.

You were?

Oh, man, I am so gullible.

Faith.

Faith.

What do you think you're doing?

Helping you unload the trunk.

Okay, that's it.

First, I can't handle the money. Now, I can't unload the trunk. What's next? I

can't reuse the meat.

Whatever you broke, it's coming out of your half.

Help me out of here. I'm getting a little buzz from that gas can.

Okay, that's it. I'm taking you right back to the retirement home. Oh, no,

don't. Please just let me spend the night. First thing tomorrow, you'll take

to see my sister. Then I'll go straight back to the retirement home. No, you

can't stay here, Sylvia. I got a bad track record with taking care of things.

I got eight hamsters buried out back that would agree with me.

Besides, I'm trying to prove to Hope that I'm responsible.

Is that why you stole the check out of her purse?

It was different.

That's exactly how it started with Ruthie and me.

Now she's going to die without ever knowing how much she really means to me.

Come on, Sylvia.

Don't be so negative.

Maybe you'll die first.

How was your party?

Well, I don't want to brag, but one person said it was better than the

inauguration.

Oh, hey, Danny from City Bank called earlier?

Really? Yeah. Did he say anything about our small business loan?

No, he just left his number.

Well, did he have a, yes, I'm giving your catering company money to rent a

larger space inflection? Or was it more of a keep cooking out of your house and

make do without an industrial oven sort of tone?

No, he just left his number.

Where'd you get that?

The mini -mart was having a five -fingered discount.

Oh my gosh, you stole it? Justin, what were you thinking?

Relax, everyone does it. Joey Brosimino can get 89 gummy worms into one sock.

You are so dead. I'm telling Dad.

Telling Dad what?

Um, it's about your father's day.

Surprise, which Haley would totally ruin if she were to tell you.

Father's Day isn't for months.

Well, you see, Dad, that's why you always get a tie. You never let us plan.

By all means, plan away.

Hey, chocolate.

Nice. Thank you.

Morning, sleepyhead.

What are you doing here? Well, I didn't sleep very well last night.

And it's not because I had rocking good sex with Charlie.

Yes, I know. I heard you playing Phantom of the Opera.

Look, I feel bad about our fight yesterday.

I mean, if I keep assuming you'll do careless things, then you will.

So from now on...

I'm going to assume that you're responsible.

How's that?

Hey, I'm all done. You can lift me off now.

Well, never mind. I did it myself.

Oh, hi.

All right, you caught me.

I've taken a lover.

Suck this woman out of the retirement home?

They must be worried sick about you.

Oh, they won't miss me. If I'm not in my bed, they'll just think I got lucky.

I'm kind of a free spirit.

Look, I didn't mean to sneak her out. She hid in the trunk.

I know it was wrong for me to let her spend the night, but she hasn't spoken

her sister in ten years.

Can you even imagine that?

Only in a perfect world.

Get dressed. You're going straight back. Of course.

The last thing I want to do is cause the two of you to fight.

Last time I saw my sister, we fought.

Oh, come on, Hope.

Let's just take her to see her sister. It's not like she's asking for a kidney.

Although I am in the market.

I still think we should have let Dad handle this.

Haley, would you relax, okay? I know what I'm doing.

Aren't you ready?

Excuse me, sir. Hi. My little brother has something that he'd like to say to

you.

Yesterday, I stole a chocolate bar.

It was past the expiration date.

But that doesn't make it right.

And I'm really sorry. And I'll never do it again.

Here's the money for it.

Well, I thank you for your honesty, young man.

Now, just hang on one moment while I call the police.

You don't think I'm going to let him get away with it just because he flashes a

couple of dimples, do you?

That's it. We have to get you back to the retirement home before they realize

you're missing. Thank you, Hope. You're not nearly the tight -ass Faith said you

were.

Hey, Ruthie. Oh, get away.

I checked this out at four o 'clock.

No, Ruthie, it's me. It's Sylvia.

Oh, my God.

Working out.

Oh, well, like they turned our nap room into a gym.

Listen, Ruthie, I'm just sorry about our falling out. Oh, no, no. It was my

fault. I should have trusted you.

Computers were an affair.

Is it too late to get in?

Yes.

Seeing them makes me think about the two of us growing old together one day.

Look, I just want you to know that when you grow old and become a burden to

everyone, I'll have no problem pulling the plug.

Thanks.

Same goes for you.

I'm serious, Faith.

I don't ever want anything petty to come between us.

Which is why I'm letting you hold on to our paycheck.

Oh, that's okay. I mean, you know, I'll get the... Next one.

That's so weird.

Where is that check?

Oh, don't worry about it. I'm sure it'll turn up sooner or later. Come on. Let's

go drum up some business.

Uh, excuse me, sir.

Have you given any thought to a nice, tasteful buffet after your funeral?

You know, if you don't plan ahead, you could end up with Moroccan food.

And then nobody's happy.

I can't go to jail. I'm a hall monitor.

Do you know what they do to hall monitors on the inside?

Bailey, would you relax, please? The guy doesn't know our names, and he has no

idea where we live. So let's just all agree that we're not going to tell Dad

about this, okay?

Tell Dad about what?

Uh, about the Father's Day thing. It's going to be huge.

Brothers and sisters stick together. It's the code.

candy bar i had nothing to do with this i'm looking for a uh hope

chanowski or faith fairfield a woman is missing from the retirement home where

they catered a party yesterday and i just wanted to know if they saw her

with anyone oh uh well my wife hope isn't here right now uh here's her

cell phone number you can call her just take it oh Hey,

thanks a lot.

You know, when Father's Day comes, you are going to be laughing so hard about

all of this.

Come on, we should get going. Two minutes and I'm about to seal the deal.

Missing from the Glen Falls Retirement Home?

And she had a sister at the Spring Falls Retirement Villa.

Not that my sister and I took her here. I mean, there.

Yeah, anywhere.

I'm just saying you might want to check here. There.

Check or don't check, whatever you want. Hang up. Goodbye now.

All right.

What are we going to do? Run!

I knew we should have taken Sylvia straight back to the retirement home.

We did the right thing.

Reuniting those two.

Fine. Sylvia won't rat us out.

Once we drive your car into the lake, there's no way they'll ever be able to

prove it was us.

We're not driving my car into the lake.

Now, where could I put that check?

It's probably in your desk.

You know, I'm going to look here in the kitchen. Sometimes you put things in

this drawer.

What are you doing?

Oh, nothing. Just looking for a piece of gum.

Found one.

I must have lost the check.

I feel terrible.

The only thing I ever lost was a Holly Hobby pencil case in the third grade.

I'm so sorry, Faith.

Well, let's just say you owe me one.

It's Citibank. I forgot to call them back. Maybe it's about our loan.

Hello?

Yes, this is Hope Shanowski.

Three more parties? If only we had the space!

What?

Our answer is Citibank trying to cash a check made out to our catering company?

Thanks. We'll be right over.

I can't believe it.

Sylvia stole the check from my purse, and now she and Ruth are trying to cash

it. I knew it.

I've never lost anything.

So I suppose that Holly Hobby pencil case just lost itself.

I can't believe this.

After all we did to reunite you two, you conned us?

You're right.

She is a tight ass.

Hope, don't get your panties in a wad.

Look, we're sorry.

But seeing you gals working together just inspired us to get back into

We ran some good grips in our day. I never saw a signature that Ruthie here

couldn't forge. Well, we'd still be slinging hash browns if you weren't so

at picking pockets.

How could you get it from my purse?

Actually, Faith stole it out of your purse.

I stole it out of Faith's purse.

That's a lie.

Who are you going to believe? A lying, thieving con woman or your own sister?

Why'd you steal the check, Faith?

Because you don't trust me. And this is why.

I got in touch with the retirement homes, and they're sending people over

pick the ladies up.

Thanks for calling us, Danny.

Our aunts were just confused.

Yeah, we're just so old and doddering.

Where am I?

Where am I?

I couldn't cash the check anyway since it was endorsed by Faith. And she isn't

allowed to sign on the account.

What are you talking about? Of course I can sign on the account.

So, any news on our loan?

Yes. In fact, you were approved.

Let me go get the paperwork.

Oh.

Coffee chairs.

I can sign on the account, right?

Well, uh...

Thing is, I might have given you a phony signature card.

You what?

I didn't want you to do something irresponsible with the money.

Oh, my God, you are such a hypocrite.

You've been giving me this big lecture about trust, and all the while you've

been running a grift on me?

Oh, this is how it starts.

And if you're not careful, it'll end up you two screaming at each other in a

burning car with the fuzz on your tail.

Good times. Oh, the best.

Here's the paperwork and your new business check.

And, lady, your rides are here.

We could have been in Mexico by now. Oh, so now it's all my fault.

I'm just saying, you should have known that the ditzy one could sign.

Well, then next time you come up with a plan... Well, yes, I will. The next time

I will, it'll be better than yours.

You know, Faith,

If we're going to be in business together, we've got to be able to trust

other.

So what do you say?

Clean slate?

Clean slate.

Come on.

Well, let's find this puppy.

And now that you trust me, I'll just hold on to the checkbook in my purse.

Okay?

Sure. Because I trust you.

What are you doing?

Nothing. Just getting a piece of gum.

disappointed in all of you. You should have come to me in the first place,

is why you were all grounded for two weeks.

No, in fact, make it a month.

A Father's Day gift is not something to joke around about.

Excuse me, sir.

You kids again.

Yeah, look, I'm their father, and I am really sorry about all of this. My son

made a mistake, and my daughters were trying to do the right thing, but

When you said you were going to call the police.

Look, I'm really sorry.

Me too.

Me three.

Hey, it's okay.

I completely understand.

It happens.

Now, you just tell that story to the police when they get here.

What are you doing?

Zero tolerance.