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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,319 --> 00:00:04,920 Edwin, can I ask you something? 2 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:10,260 Okay. Are we friends or are we more than friends? 3 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:13,960 You mean like boyfriend and girlfriend? 4 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,000 Well, I haven't been studying with anyone else. 5 00:00:17,660 --> 00:00:18,660 Have you? 6 00:00:20,460 --> 00:00:21,460 I don't know. 7 00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:25,060 I've been studying around a little. 8 00:00:27,980 --> 00:00:29,840 Oh, I see. 9 00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:32,400 Well, that explains the pink highlighter in your notebook. 10 00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:41,960 What are you looking for, Charlie? 11 00:00:42,260 --> 00:00:43,260 Your manhood? 12 00:00:46,420 --> 00:00:47,420 No. 13 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,100 For your talent. 14 00:00:51,980 --> 00:00:54,820 He's spying on our new neighbor, the Gooch. 15 00:00:55,020 --> 00:00:56,020 Who's the Gooch? 16 00:00:56,160 --> 00:01:00,560 Former Major League Ball player Gary the Gooch Gutierrez. With a .297 lifetime 17 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,140 average, the switch hitting shortstop was a formidable threat both on the 18 00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:05,140 and in the batter's box. 19 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,760 Charlie, leave the sports section in the bathroom again? 20 00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:11,540 No. He made me memorize his trading card. 21 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:14,300 The Gooch just moved in next door. 22 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:17,580 I can still smell the gum. 23 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:20,920 Wow. 24 00:01:21,380 --> 00:01:22,380 Cute. 25 00:01:23,540 --> 00:01:24,540 Big bat. 26 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:28,880 Apparently, swings it around quite a bit. 27 00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:30,380 Oh, really? 28 00:01:30,580 --> 00:01:33,700 Well, you know, I've always considered myself an athletic supporter. 29 00:01:44,659 --> 00:01:45,659 108 pounds. 30 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,740 Mom, Bobby can guess the weight of anybody that he picks up. 31 00:01:49,180 --> 00:01:50,180 Oh, then. 32 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,360 I guess that makes you a pickup artist. 33 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:55,780 Good one, Mrs. S. 34 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,000 Hey, let me try you. 35 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:58,700 Thanks, but I don't... Whoa! 36 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:02,820 128 and a half pounds. 37 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,080 Well, you're good. 38 00:02:05,420 --> 00:02:06,440 What do you say, Chaz? 39 00:02:06,820 --> 00:02:10,300 Hop on the old Bible meter? No, I don't think that's such a good idea. I just... 40 00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:11,300 Whoa! 41 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:12,840 About 183. 42 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,620 Time to lay off the cars, Mr. S. 43 00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:44,920 or three -time all -star? 44 00:02:45,220 --> 00:02:46,980 Four times. But who's counting? 45 00:02:47,860 --> 00:02:48,860 Okay, me. 46 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,900 Oh! Oh, wow! 47 00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:52,920 Oh! Oh! 48 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:59,300 Wow. And I'm Faith Fairfield, actress, two -time Emmy nominee, one -time Emmy 49 00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:03,020 winner, full -time single girl, very single. 50 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:07,500 Well, congratulations on all that. 51 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,300 And these must be for me. 52 00:03:10,540 --> 00:03:11,540 And... 53 00:03:11,810 --> 00:03:12,609 I'm Dr. 54 00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:13,610 Charles Shanowski. 55 00:03:13,770 --> 00:03:15,730 This is my son, Justin, and my wife. 56 00:03:17,410 --> 00:03:18,410 Hope. Hope. 57 00:03:20,930 --> 00:03:21,930 That's your wife? Yeah. 58 00:03:22,170 --> 00:03:24,230 I'm sorry. These were intended for the lady of the house. 59 00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:35,330 Why, thank you. 60 00:03:35,930 --> 00:03:36,930 They're lovely. 61 00:03:38,150 --> 00:03:39,490 Please, have a seat. 62 00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:45,010 So... Gooch, what brings you to our fair city? 63 00:03:45,390 --> 00:03:49,030 I thought it was time to settle down, clean up the image a little, you know, 64 00:03:49,030 --> 00:03:52,410 to get some endorsements since my rap album didn't do so well. 65 00:03:52,970 --> 00:03:54,890 Gee to the ooch, I smell Grammy. 66 00:03:56,010 --> 00:04:02,150 So, whoever would have thought that Glen Falls would be home to two big 67 00:04:02,150 --> 00:04:03,150 celebrities? 68 00:04:03,550 --> 00:04:04,670 Really, who else lives here? 69 00:04:06,630 --> 00:04:08,870 Sense of humor. I like that. 70 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:11,340 So Hope had a great idea. 71 00:04:11,740 --> 00:04:14,780 How about coming over tonight for a little welcome to the neighborhood 72 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:18,560 Tonight? That's what you said. She's right, honey. I was here. You said six 73 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:19,560 -ish. 74 00:04:20,779 --> 00:04:22,340 Sure. Can I bring anything? 75 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:23,600 Just your glove. 76 00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:26,440 In case you want to talk the ball around a little. 77 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:30,480 You know, see how you feel. Okay. Yeah. 78 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:32,680 I'll see you later. 79 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:34,160 Goodbye. 80 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,280 Can you feel the chemistry between us, Hope? 81 00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:46,920 We're going to be this town's first ever power celebrity couple. 82 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,800 By the end of the week, we'll be the lead story in the Glen Falls Gazette 83 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:51,800 society column. 84 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:55,780 I don't think they have a society column. What do they have? 85 00:04:56,240 --> 00:05:00,160 Uh, horoscope, police blotter, senior lunch menu. 86 00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:02,780 Why not all three? 87 00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:08,620 Faith Fairfield steals heart of Sagittarius ballplayer, eats lightly 88 00:05:08,620 --> 00:05:09,620 fish. 89 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:43,800 You made chicken for the gooch? 90 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:47,120 You couldn't come up with something with a little more pizazz? 91 00:05:47,860 --> 00:05:52,220 Well, I was going to make an ice sculpture of a catcher's mitt and fill 92 00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:53,220 Alaskan king crab. 93 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,520 Yeah? So what happened? 94 00:05:57,500 --> 00:05:59,660 I left my ice pick on Kilimanjaro. 95 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,200 Oh, hello, 96 00:06:09,340 --> 00:06:10,340 Henry. 97 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:14,390 Is that Fresh Miss? After my mother's herb box. Last time I was here, I 98 00:06:14,390 --> 00:06:15,390 you saying you were out. 99 00:06:15,590 --> 00:06:18,430 Oh, that was so thoughtful of you. Come on in. 100 00:06:20,950 --> 00:06:22,130 Edwin, your brother's here. 101 00:06:23,810 --> 00:06:26,050 So, do you want to study tomorrow? 102 00:06:26,810 --> 00:06:28,490 I'm not sure I'm ready for that kind of commitment. 103 00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:33,130 Hey. Hey. 104 00:06:35,490 --> 00:06:36,610 Nice talking to you, yeah? 105 00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:39,310 All right, Edwin, let's go, buddy. 106 00:06:44,330 --> 00:06:46,270 Pat Henry is such a gentleman. 107 00:06:46,930 --> 00:06:48,430 Mom, he's so not cool. 108 00:06:49,290 --> 00:06:51,410 Besides, he's not interested in me. 109 00:06:52,090 --> 00:06:53,090 If you recall. 110 00:06:53,530 --> 00:06:54,670 I don't know about that. 111 00:06:55,610 --> 00:06:58,510 Anyway, I'm just saying, you might want to keep your options open. 112 00:06:58,830 --> 00:07:02,210 Mom, I'm already dating the coolest guy in school. All the other options suck. 113 00:07:03,650 --> 00:07:06,110 How do you know Bobby's not keeping his options open? 114 00:07:06,650 --> 00:07:08,010 I know boys like him. 115 00:07:08,310 --> 00:07:10,350 And they're, well, players. 116 00:07:13,110 --> 00:07:14,290 Yeah, word up, Mom. 117 00:07:17,410 --> 00:07:18,410 How do I look? 118 00:07:18,530 --> 00:07:21,010 I'm so nervous. I have the first date jitters. 119 00:07:21,710 --> 00:07:23,250 I don't think this is a date. 120 00:07:23,690 --> 00:07:24,970 Come on, Hope. 121 00:07:25,350 --> 00:07:27,670 You had to feel the heat between me and the gooch. 122 00:07:28,390 --> 00:07:29,390 Stand back, Hope. 123 00:07:29,730 --> 00:07:31,790 I'm about to open the door to my future. 124 00:07:32,150 --> 00:07:34,190 Back! No, no, no! My house! My house! My house! 125 00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:44,340 This is Tammy. Hope it's okay. I brought a date. Tammy, this is... Incredibly 126 00:07:44,340 --> 00:07:45,340 rude. 127 00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:48,700 I don't believe Hope's invitation said plus one. 128 00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:54,160 Oh, okay. Well, uh... We'll try another night. 129 00:07:54,660 --> 00:07:56,380 Faith! Just kidding! 130 00:07:58,700 --> 00:07:59,840 Can't you take a joke? 131 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,320 Everyone's welcome here. Even your little underage tramp. 132 00:08:27,530 --> 00:08:30,830 So we're down by a run. The bases are loaded at the full count, and I follow 133 00:08:30,830 --> 00:08:31,830 like eight straight pitches. 134 00:08:32,049 --> 00:08:33,130 Looking for ball four. 135 00:08:33,409 --> 00:08:37,730 That's when Martinez throws me one right here. I know, I have to swing. And... 136 00:08:37,730 --> 00:08:40,570 BAM! The Gooch takes him downtown! 137 00:08:41,929 --> 00:08:44,430 And clenched the wild card. 138 00:08:44,730 --> 00:08:45,730 You the man! 139 00:08:45,810 --> 00:08:46,810 You the man, Gooch! 140 00:08:49,350 --> 00:08:51,530 So, where did you two meet, Tammy? 141 00:08:51,910 --> 00:08:53,550 The sandbox or the seesaw? 142 00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:57,450 We met at the grocery store. 143 00:08:57,730 --> 00:08:58,730 That's where I work. 144 00:08:59,050 --> 00:09:00,050 I bagged him. 145 00:09:00,410 --> 00:09:02,030 Oh, right there in the store? 146 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,250 Mm -hmm. 147 00:09:04,130 --> 00:09:05,510 You know who you look like? 148 00:09:05,810 --> 00:09:08,770 You look just like that actress off The Sacred and the Sinful. 149 00:09:09,130 --> 00:09:10,130 What was her name? 150 00:09:10,230 --> 00:09:12,350 Faith Fairfield. Yeah, that was her. 151 00:09:12,670 --> 00:09:15,930 Oh, my gosh, when they killed her character off, I heard she went crazy. 152 00:09:15,970 --> 00:09:17,330 like, burned down the studio or something. 153 00:09:18,050 --> 00:09:19,230 Really? Mm -hmm. 154 00:09:19,830 --> 00:09:20,830 Who wants dessert? 155 00:09:20,970 --> 00:09:25,400 And then last year at the Daytime Emmys, I heard that she attacked an actress on 156 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,780 stage, on live TV. 157 00:09:27,420 --> 00:09:29,640 I have two kinds of pie. Apple and cherry. 158 00:09:31,060 --> 00:09:32,440 Sounds like a real nutcase. 159 00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:39,360 You know, that reminds me of a story I heard about this shortstop that totally 160 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,860 choked in the seventh game of the World Series. 161 00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:45,780 I'll have apple and cherry. Hell, bring them both up. 162 00:09:46,980 --> 00:09:50,360 It was the bottom of the ninth and the bases were loaded. And the batter hits 163 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,800 this little dribbler that goes right through the shortstop's leg. 164 00:09:53,310 --> 00:09:54,310 And the winning run scores. 165 00:09:54,530 --> 00:09:59,630 Well, this certain shortstop loses his confidence and retires in shame. 166 00:10:00,010 --> 00:10:02,190 Gooch, help me out. Any idea who that is? 167 00:10:08,290 --> 00:10:09,870 And I also have ice cream. 168 00:10:12,650 --> 00:10:14,170 Thanks, Hope. We gotta go. 169 00:10:21,949 --> 00:10:23,530 Apparently Tammy has a curfew. 170 00:10:44,170 --> 00:10:46,290 Hey pooch! 171 00:10:46,490 --> 00:10:47,910 You know what time it is? 172 00:10:49,980 --> 00:10:51,760 It's hot tub time at Casa Gooch. 173 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,040 Where's Tammy? 174 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,080 Uh, that didn't work out. 175 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,480 I'm talking to somebody else right now. 176 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:03,160 Really? 177 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:06,600 Yeah, I just met her today, but I can tell. She's really something special. 178 00:11:07,220 --> 00:11:08,220 Aw. 179 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:10,160 Gooch. 180 00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:13,800 So, you wanted to join you for a soap? 181 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:15,360 That's why I'm out here. 182 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,620 Well, what makes me so sure she's interested? 183 00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:20,500 Yeah, 184 00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:22,300 she's interested. 185 00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:27,540 This is Carla. 186 00:11:31,260 --> 00:11:32,360 She's a flight attendant. 187 00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:37,560 That would explain the two flotation devices. 188 00:11:52,910 --> 00:11:58,450 school biology class what's that brent you are hilarious 189 00:11:58,450 --> 00:12:02,050 edwin i've got to go 190 00:12:02,050 --> 00:12:08,930 can't take it anymore that jerk the gooch has 191 00:12:08,930 --> 00:12:12,430 kept me up the last three nights in a row with his loud music and hot tub 192 00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:16,990 mama he didn't come here to clean up his image he came here to ruin my life hey 193 00:12:16,990 --> 00:12:20,930 mom and dad we went to the batting cages and the gooch taught me how to hit a 194 00:12:20,930 --> 00:12:21,930 curveball 195 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,900 He said I could be in his baseball video. 196 00:12:25,460 --> 00:12:28,020 Hey, I want to be in his baseball video. 197 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,900 It's actually a series of instructional videos for kids. 198 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,960 But it doesn't just teach baseball. It teaches good values. 199 00:12:35,220 --> 00:12:36,220 Ha! 200 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,420 What? Nothing. 201 00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:40,500 Dirtbag! 202 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:45,160 Faith, can we have a word alone? 203 00:12:45,580 --> 00:12:48,140 You heard the gooch. Everybody out. Come on. Let's go, go, go. 204 00:12:53,550 --> 00:12:54,550 Me too? 205 00:12:54,830 --> 00:12:56,170 Yeah. Okay. 206 00:12:59,430 --> 00:13:04,590 Look, you and I have been butt and head since the day we met, and I think we 207 00:13:04,590 --> 00:13:08,730 both know it's because there's some pretty strong sexual tension here. 208 00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:11,110 And I think we should just be honest. 209 00:13:12,810 --> 00:13:13,950 You're attracted to me, right? 210 00:13:15,770 --> 00:13:18,070 Well, right. 211 00:13:20,170 --> 00:13:21,810 And you're attracted to me, right? 212 00:13:22,210 --> 00:13:23,210 No. 213 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,970 And that's the problem. I mean, it's nothing personal. You're just not my 214 00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:30,910 Really? 215 00:13:31,750 --> 00:13:33,650 Because it seems like everyone's your type. 216 00:13:35,710 --> 00:13:36,710 Yeah, I know. It's weird. 217 00:13:38,470 --> 00:13:41,310 Anyway, look, I'm glad we had this talk. 218 00:13:42,730 --> 00:13:43,770 I feel better, don't you? 219 00:13:45,410 --> 00:13:46,410 How could I not? 220 00:13:46,790 --> 00:13:47,790 Good. 221 00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:52,790 So, how'd it go? 222 00:13:53,780 --> 00:13:57,820 Well, he's wildly attracted to me, but I had to tell him that he's not my type. 223 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,540 We heard the whole thing. He's going down, Hope! 224 00:14:10,700 --> 00:14:12,000 Edwin, what are you doing here? 225 00:14:12,220 --> 00:14:14,960 I've come over to fight for you. 226 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,720 You want to fight for me? 227 00:14:17,860 --> 00:14:22,260 Well, I did, until I saw the size of Brent here. 228 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,160 the heck with it. 229 00:14:26,660 --> 00:14:28,820 How dare you study with my girlfriend? 230 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:30,920 Girlfriend? 231 00:14:31,820 --> 00:14:32,880 If you still want to be. 232 00:14:37,660 --> 00:14:39,080 Brent, I think we're done studying. 233 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,100 Edwin, that was so brave. 234 00:14:47,180 --> 00:14:48,180 Yeah. 235 00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:51,620 I think I need to go lie down. 236 00:14:59,820 --> 00:15:02,340 A little breesky for Miss Shanusky. 237 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:06,120 Oh, you know what? I'll just have a diet soda. I'm watching my weight. 238 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:09,860 I'm watching it, too. And I like what I see. 239 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,480 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. 240 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:18,040 No problem. 241 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:19,980 Hey, what are you doing here? 242 00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:23,420 I tutor the guy whose part it is. As soon as he sobers up, we're going to do 243 00:15:23,420 --> 00:15:24,420 little trigonometry. 244 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,380 So where's the Bob -O -Meter? 245 00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:32,080 Over there somewhere. Actually, I should probably get back. 246 00:15:36,180 --> 00:15:37,480 110 pounds. 247 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:39,080 What do I win? 248 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,220 All right, I'm here. What's the emergency? 249 00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:57,540 You got it again. 250 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:00,460 Only this time he's got three girls in the hot tub with him. 251 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:01,800 Look. 252 00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:03,760 Is that my rearview mirror? 253 00:16:04,020 --> 00:16:05,400 You barely use it. 254 00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:08,020 Are you bleaching your lip again? 255 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,460 Yeah. And if you're nice to me, I'll do your chin. 256 00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:20,500 Are you sure you're not just jealous? Oh, please. 257 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:22,360 I just want a good night's sleep. 258 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:26,880 Oh, this is an awesome hot tub. 259 00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,260 I like to call it Dr. Gucci. 260 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:33,840 Mr. 261 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:38,240 Good Values, Mr. Clean Up My Image, maybe a few compromising photographs 262 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,180 restore some peace and quiet to this neighborhood. 263 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:41,339 What are you doing? 264 00:16:41,340 --> 00:16:44,560 It's called blackmail, Hope. I'm going to destroy that man's life. 265 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:45,960 Wish me luck. 266 00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:08,690 things like that but one of these times you're gonna be wrong okay not this 267 00:17:08,690 --> 00:17:12,050 time i 268 00:17:12,050 --> 00:17:19,490 hope 269 00:17:19,490 --> 00:17:22,650 it's hot enough in here for you dude you make anything hot 270 00:18:32,140 --> 00:18:33,140 movie on cable. 271 00:18:34,220 --> 00:18:35,220 Pootie Pang? 272 00:18:36,340 --> 00:18:38,100 Oh, I thought it was house party. 273 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:44,720 So, uh, Malcolm Henry brought you home. I don't want to talk about it. 274 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,040 Sydney, you never want to talk about anything. 275 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,260 That's because you don't talk, Mom. 276 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:53,160 You lecture. 277 00:18:53,660 --> 00:18:55,180 I do not lecture. 278 00:18:55,960 --> 00:19:01,000 And when you have a teenage daughter of your own, maybe you'll see that... Okay, 279 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:02,080 maybe I... Do lecture. 280 00:19:03,130 --> 00:19:04,130 A tad. 281 00:19:05,730 --> 00:19:09,770 Look, I just want you to know that I love you, Sidney. 282 00:19:10,910 --> 00:19:14,490 And if you ever want to talk to me, I'm here for you. 283 00:19:15,330 --> 00:19:16,330 Okay? 284 00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:19,470 Watching Pootie Ting. 285 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:34,680 You were right about Bobby. 286 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:37,760 He's a player. 287 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:45,020 I hate it when you're right. 288 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:47,200 I know. 289 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:57,960 Nice jacuzzi? 290 00:19:58,560 --> 00:19:59,980 I don't want to talk about it. 291 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:02,500 You'll just lecture me. 20039

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