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Peter, hi.

Hi. Did I wake you?

No, no. I'm awake.

I can't remember where you said to meet now.

Coastguard station.

Is it near the sea?

Yeah, the coastguard station is near the sea, yeah.

I think I know the place. There's a kind of prom.

And some iron men. An ice cream man.

I'm sure I'll find it.

Do you know if the ice cream man does coffee?

You're there already, aren't you?

No.

I can hear the seagulls. I'll be there as soon as I can.

Thanks for that.

Is that what you're wearing?

What's wrong with it?

Nothing. It's very smart.

It's just...

What?

Well, I don't know, do I? I don't know what's appropriate.

Appropriate?

Very, you know...

Quadrophenia.

I was admiring the, er, ice cream van too.

What do you think?

The cream looks really creamy.

My friends and I were admiring your paintwork.

Great detail.

My son paints these.

Maybe this is one of his.

He does the jingles too.

Do you do a cappuccino?

Thanks.

- Been here long? - I was admiring

the ice cream van.

Yeah, it's not one of mine.

- I don't do smiley ice creams. - I appreciate that.

Do you want to go in mine or yours?

Yours then.

I'll drive it.

What do you think of this?

Is it a new jingle?

I'm the wrong age bracket, really.

No, it's not a jingle.

What's with the overnight bag?

I thought we might need to make a night of it.

No, no, no. I've got to get back.

Sue's got stuff to do.

Everything all right at home, is it?

Fine, thanks.

Just a funny way of putting things, that's all.

What?

"I've got to be back because Sue's got stuff to do."

Haven't you got stuff to do? Isn't this...

- stuff? - Work. She's got work.

Anyway what are you doing? It's like being in the car

- with Jack. - It's a word game. An App.

Lication. What was that about Jack?

Are you not relating to him properly?

- Am I what? - A girl in China

played a computer game for three days and nights

without a break. Dropped dead of exhaustion.

- You want to watch your Jack. - What are you doing

on your phone at a time like this?

- We should be talking. - Since when did games

stop people talking? Talking is what we did

- when we played Scrabble. - We didn't play Scrabble.

What? We were always playing Scrabble.

It wasn't Scrabble. It was Scrabble-like.

It was called Scribble. Or Scrobble.

It was a cheap rip-off of Scrabble.

The letters came on a cardboard sheet

- and we had to press them out. - Oh, yeah.

And you always insisted on having the dictionary

- on the table. - Well, at least

we played each other and not the bloody phone.

That's the amazing thing. I'm not playing the phone.

There's this guy called Skinny Thesaurus,

and he's absolutely brilliant.

Fine, talk to your digital mates then.

What?

I'm sure I'm going deaf.

I don't hear half of what you're saying.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine. We've got to come back in the morning.

It's only... Not even ten-to yet.

The official who does it is on a job-share type of thing.

Austerity. They finished early.

Child-minding. We'll have to make a night of it.

No, no, no. We'll go home and we'll come back

in the morning. It's already getting dark.

A Roads in the dark. Oncoming full-beam. Nightmarish.

We'll get some sleep.

We'd have to find somewhere to stay.

Oh, that's okay. I've already booked somewhere.

I never thought this was a realistic itinerary.

I booked somewhere the day we heard.

- Unbelievable. - There we go again.

I didn't hear that either. It's almost as if you wanted

to say things but you don't want me to hear them.

It's like a kind of passive-aggressive thing.

I said I didn't bring a toothbrush.

Oh. Well, I noticed you didn't have a bag,

so I got you one when we stopped for petrol.

Which do you want?

Cyberman or...

Dalek.

Obviously, the circumstances could be better,

but on the other hand how often do we get to sit around

enjoying each other's company?

Let's us two make the best of it, eh?

This is cosy.

You can't beat a proper fire, can you?

Excuse me. We couldn't have the music down a bit, could we?

Or off.

I always say the only good thing about jazz is that it scores

very highly in Scrabble.

In fact, you can't play the word "jazz" in Scrabble.

There's only one "z" in the set.

Oh, is that right?

That's very interesting, that.

There's only one "z".

I haven't played Scrabble for years. I don't suppose

anybody does these days, do they?

It's all Grand Theft Auto now, isn't it?

Arthur likes Scrabble.

Don't you, Arthur?

Peter, you'd love a game of Scrabble, wouldn't you?

There's a set over there, look.

Under the Cluedo.

You need to count all the tiles.

You don't want to get half way through a game and find

you've got tiles missing.

- I'm going to go to bed. - Oh, it's only half past eight.

Come on. Have a game of Scrabble.

You used to love Scrabble.

I used to likeThunderCats.

- I've moved on. - What are you gonna do?

Say my prayers.

It's a big day tomorrow.

Exterminate.

Exterminate.

Exterminate.

You don't fancy making this a bit more interesting, do you?

How do you mean?

A bet.

- A flutter? A wager? - Or maybe not.

You've obviously got a massive, what's it?

- Lots of words. - Vocabulary. Lexicon. Wordhoard.

That's very good.

What do you think?

If... we said...

five?

You're a confident man, Arthur.

Oh, I haven't got 500 to spare, unfortunately.

- Oh, well... - I've got 200. Is that okay?

Or two...

20, in fact. But call it 200.

Never bet your last pound, eh?

Two hundred?

Sure. Why not?

Ladies first.

Oh. And I can bingo.

That's when you can play all seven

of your letters in one go.

You get an extra 50 points for that.

Oh, that's good, isn't it? Bingo, eh.

You learn something new every day.

Xi. That's a word, is it? Is that a word?

It's a letter in the Greek alphabet. Alpha,

- beta, gamma, delta, epsilon... - So it's not a word.

- It's a letter. - No, it's a word. It's, erm,

it's a word for a letter of the Greek alphabet.

- M... What? - Muzjiks? Is that not a word?

I know I've heard it somewhere before,

- but if you haven't, then. - Dictionary.

Arthur, it looks like a word. Play on.

I could change it to Muzak.

"Muzjik...

- an indentured Russian peasant." - I knew I'd heard it before.

- Where? - Where what?

Where did you hear that?

That's a very unusual word.

It's not exactly in every-day use, is it?

Come on down to Muzjiks-R-Us for all

- your indentured peasant needs. - Arthur, it's a word.

- What's it score? - Er...

- A hundred and seventeen. - That's really good.

Murmansk, by the way.

I think I heard it in Murmansk. When I was in the Merchant Navy.

We were in and out of Murmansk.

It's what they call the storyteller in West Africa.

- When I was on the Gold Coast... - Just play the word.

Esrom?

I think it's a font.

Actually, it's a cheese. Made by Trappist monks.

The stinkiest cheese in the world.

Oh,

it looks like I've bingo'd too.

It's an Italian card game. You have two teams...

Yeah, I know what Scopone is.

I was going to play quartz.

- You beat him to the q. - Is that right, Arthur?

What's "qi" when it's at home?

It's, um, life energy in Chinese philosophy.

My aroma therapist is always talking about qi.

I have aromatherapy for stress.

You'd know about it if you ever listened

- to a word I said. - Well, I didn't know

about it, did I?

He doesn't know anything about me.

- I know you do aromatherapy. - You don't do aromatherapy.

- You have it. - Like chicken pox.

I have stress.

You can probably see where I get it from.

- Ti. A drink with jam and bread. - That's not how you spell it.

Not tea.

Ti.

- Do-re-me-fa-so-la... - He's right.

I know I'm right.

It's a firearm with a...

you know this, don't you?

- What did you do that for? - What?

What did you get for that?

Six. Six points. Why did you do that?

I was going to use that "men". I was going to turn it

into "Anadyomene". Sixty-seven points.

Where are you going?

What's wrong? It's only a game.

I'm going to take a leak.

Oh...

sorry.

Go on then.

I'm sorry about this.

- He's on edge. - I can see that.

He's not always like this.

He used to be a singer, can you believe?

- A singer? - Sessions. You know.

Remember back in the day when they used to do those...

top 20 hits but not by the original artists.

- Pickwick? - PickwickTop of the Pops.

- No. - He was the Pickwick singer.

He's been them all. Ken Dodd. Freddy Mercury.

- He never sings anymore. - Oh, that's a shame.

We lost our son.

He went missing.

We haven't seen him since.

He was 19.

That's why we're here. The police have found a body.

It might be the body of our son.

Oh, that's terrible. I'm sorry about that.

You think it's...

it's the not knowing that's the hardest.

But tomorrow, maybe we will know.

And maybe we'll wish we were back to not knowing, eh?

Hope is a great friend.

Yeah.

He was Bonnie Tyler once.

- Bonnie Tyler? - Yeah.

He sang the Pickwick version of "It's a Heartache".

You'd never have known it wasn't her.

We thought it would all be...

over with today.

But when we got here...

the official who runs the morgue,

can you believe this...

is on a job share.

Had to leave early. Childcare.

So. Anadyomene?

I'm going to take "Amen" off the board.

Alan doesn't mind, do you, Alan?

No, no, not at all. Part of the fun

is the magic of lovely words.

Dad?

- You all right? - Yeah.

You know me. I can't sleep without a walk.

Ever since, you know.

I used to go out looking for him.

Just walking the streets, you know.

It's just a habit now. A ritual.

I know.

Bonnie Tyler.

What?

♪ It's a Heartache Nothing but a heartache... ♪

What is?

Arthur, downstairs.

Bonnie Tyler.

PickwickTop of the Pops compilation album.

No.

Yeah.

♪ It's a fool's game ♪

♪ Nothing but a fool's game ♪

It was for him, anyway. Two hundred I took off him.

You did what?

I beat him.

You hustled him? You hustled Bonnie Tyler...

I didn't hustle him. I smashed him.

Did you use your extra "z" on him?

You what?

"You can't play jazz in Scrabble

because there's only one 'z' in the set."

And?

You played jazz that night.

You played it off "zygote".

Top right-hand corner. Triple word score,

scored off the board.

They're going up there themselves tomorrow.

- Up where? - The morgue.

They've got a son who went missing.

They're gonna take a look at a body.

That's the same body we're going to look at.

The one that might be our Michael?

That's right.

Their son goes missing.

They're going to look at the body.

And you hustle them out of 200 quid?

- Who are you? - When you put it like that.

It started off as a game, then when I found out

I... I seemed to...

I got the feeling that...

if I let him beat me, it would be our Michael

and if I won, it would be their lad. I know it's mad.

What are you doing here?

This is where we, er...

- Were you waiting for us? - No.

We're here for the same...

my lad went missing too.

Oh.

You didn't say.

I didn't like...

You were telling me about yours and...

It was good of you to listen.

If I'd known...

You weren't to know.

Mr. Mellor?

I'll go.

I thought you were a woman.

Childcare issues.

No, I, I have a three-year-old and, er...

I'm on my own. So, you know. Well,

- just the two of us. - Oh. Right.

- Sorry. - Just in here.

I'm, er...

- I'm not sure I'm ready. - No, no. No, that's fine.

That's fine.

What my dad did last night...

you'll have to excuse him.

It takes us all in different ways.

Oh. We know that, don't we, Arthur?

It was nice to have something to take our mind off it

to be honest.

We should be apologising to him, really.

Well, if I can make it up to you.

No, no. It's all right.

He probably thought you were millionaires.

Rock stars.

We had all of those records. He used to get them for us...

You... you told him

- about that. You... - Well, it... it's not a secret,

is it? I mean...

it was then, but...

What are you doing?

I know it was...

what was it? I think it was

- a couple hundred quid, was it? - No. Don't be daft.

What are you talking about?

Dad's side bet.

- He shouldn't have done that. - Bet?

He said it was...

- a couple of hundred. - You bet hundreds of pounds

- on a game of Scrabble? - Not hundreds.

Two hundred.

- I thought he was... - He took you.

He took you for the fool you are.

- He cheated. - I'm sure he did.

No.

He's just a lot cleverer than you are.

You keep that, son.

That's the price a fool has to pay for...

for acting like a fool.

That's the fool tax.

It wasn't him. I knew it wouldn't be.

All the best then. Come on.

Are you sure you wouldn't...

No.

Let's hear the new jingle.

♪ I want you to know... ♪

Small Faces. Yes!

Or in my case, Arthur somebody!

So not particularly "yes" at all.

I never thought of that. He probably sang this as well.

- Why? - Why what?

Second best of everything.

You didn't let us touch the real albums,

it was only the Pickwick ones.

We played Scrobble not Scrabble...

It was the same.

We didn't get proper Lego. You always got us

- some snide Lego. - Ah, now, that was just as good.

- Never Airfix, always Revell. - Revell was more rock and roll.

You didn't get us Action Man, you got us something

called Action Joe, and he did not have grip hands.

- Yeah, that wasn't good. - Subbuteo?

- No, Chad Valley Big League. - Yes, yes.

You've made your point. Go on.

- What? - Well, you also didn't have

a mother, did you? Just a dad. So, poor substitute there.

Left hand down.

I can manage.

I could back a bloody Panzer out of here.

What was that?

I said get back in the car. Get out of the cold.

Sure.

Your father's back.

It wasn't your Uncle Michael.

I think he's relieved.

Well, it's hard to know what's for the best isn't it. I mean...

Well, obviously the best would be...

if they found him and he was alive and well,

having a lovely life.

Or would it? I mean...

That'd be hard, wouldn't it?

To find out that he's been happy all this time and just,

you know...

shunning you.

Letting you go through all this.

Like the sightings.

You know people contact your grandad

and say they've seen Michael.

Some of them say they've talked to him.

There was one in Argentina.

Imagine.

I'm not saying...

it'd be better if he was dead.

I'm just saying if you had to choose.

Everything okay?

Have you been there long?

Don't worry about it.

Alan.

It's lovely to see you. Have you eaten? Uh,

there's plenty of left overs. I'll get you a bowl.

That'd be lovely. If you're sure there's enough.

I'd be just as happy with a bit of toast and Marmite.

No, no...

You know you can't take Marmite into Canada?

Because Marmite has a secret ingredient.

And the Canadian government took the view

that not telling them the secret ingredient

was tantamount to asking them to import something

without knowing what it is.

That's why the people of Canada have no Marmite. Imagine.

The second largest country on Earth.

More or less nine million square miles

and not one jar of Marmite.

- How do they survive? - Vegemite.

A poor substitute...

but then sometimes a poor substitute

is all there is.

- Is Jack out then? - Yeah.

Upstairs.

- Gaming. - That's a worry, isn't it?

Why would that be a worry?

He's at home. He's not on the streets.

He hasn't gone missing.

You didn't hear about the girl in China then?

I did hear about the girl in China.

- Imagine that. It is a worry. - I know China's different,

- but... - Exactly. We don't want him

- to end up like her. - You should watch him.

- I do try. - This business

is probably affecting him more than you think.

- Do you think so? - No!

- I think you might be right. - He's got exams!

He's doing A-levels. They're stressed.

They're all stressed.

They're supposed to be stressed.

If you can't be stressed about your A-levels

what can you be stressed about?

He doesn't seem stressed. He seems more, sort of,

to be, you know...

playing that game,

- which does beg the question... - The girl in China question.

Exactly.

You know why he's saying Jack's stressed?

No.

Because he's stressed himself.

Is he?

Classic transference of anxiety.

He was stressed on the drive then, was he?

Oh, yeah.

Very defensive. Quite guarded.

Do you not find him a bit passive aggressive?

I do, sometimes, but you have to make allowances.

Oh.

A present.

That's kind of you, Alan.

What is it?

It's a thing.

Doing labels.

He was putting labels on everything when we were kids.

"Jumpers only".

"Please fold towels before replacing".

"Please replace after use"...

It helped keep things running smoothly, you know.

But also the font, look...

it has an elegant precision.

You don't really see that font anywhere else. I don't know

what it's called. But I thought you'd appreciate it.

Well...

it's getting late.

Yeah, it is.

Obviously, you're welcome to stay.

Well you would be,

only, um...

we don't really have a spare bed, do we?

Just the bunk in Jack's room, so.

I'm sure that would be fine.

Which is you?

The one with the big cleavage, that's you?

There is total sexual equality among the undead.

It doesn't make any difference which gender you are.

So why choose to be a girl with enormous breasts?

- Stop saying things like that. - Not breasts.

Bosoms.

Assets.

Glands.

- Bazookas. Which do you prefer? - Other players are more polite

to you if you're a girl.

It looks a bit choppy if you don't mind me saying.

- What? - It's not running very smoothly,

is it? It's slow and then it's jumpy.

Do you want me to change the settings for you?

- I'm in the middle of an action. - Only take a mo.

Grandad.

- What? - That's my bed.

Yeah?

You didn't expect me to climb up there, did you?

Or did you?

I could give it a go.

No, no. No, I didn't expect that, Grandad.

I'm saying me prayers.

Jack!

What?

Nothing.

Nothing.

We just...

don't normally see you for breakfast, that's all.

- Jack. - All right. All right.

Grandad's up there and he's playing on my computer.

Where else am I supposed to go?

Well, I'm sure it's very difficult for you

having Grandad in your bedroom, but...

it's very nice for us having you for breakfast.

Oh, I'll give you a lift if you like.

Bye then!

Why doesn't he want a lift?

You drive past the school every day.

There's a girl.

Oh.

He walks past two bus stops to be at the same bus stop

as her. And he stands next to her...

but he doesn't speak.

Really?

How do you know that?

It's a guess.

Yeah, man. Last night was quality.

Yeah, we were going more or less all night.

Oh, we just listened to music,

jammed.

Wrote a few new songs.

It was a good night, man.

Jack!

Woo-hoo!

Breakfast.

Do let me know if that's not to your satisfaction.

Half a million registered players.

I'm never short of a game.

Does that mean you'll be staying another night then?

Unless it's a problem.

No. No, it's not a problem.

It's just...

No, no, it's not a problem.

Most of them play the board not the man.

Always play the man.

Go for two letter words.

They're your real friends.

There are 101 two letter words.

Five of them are letters of the Greek alphabet

Mu. M-U. Nu. N-U. Pi, obviously.

And xi. X-I.

And then you've got your unusual ones like O-E, oe

which is a wind in the Faroe Islands.

Did your father ever tell you about your great-grandmother's

shop? She had a shop, sold all sorts.

- Liquorice all sorts? - No, all sorts of things.

Bread, the papers.

Hair nets were big business, I seem to remember. Harpic.

Are you telling me a bedtime story?

I'm telling you your family history.

Coal. She sold coal. People would ask for five pound

of potatoes and a bag of coal. She'd go downstairs

and get them the coal.

Why?

Why didn't she just keep it upstairs?

Ah. That's the point.

One day someone from the coal board,

coal was nationalised then, heard about this and thought,

"we don't deliver to that shop so how come she sells coal?"

Go on.

Well, it turns out there's a seam in the cellar.

The cellar of the shop, one wall of it had a coal seam

running off it.

If you asked her for coal, she'd go down there,

pick up a pick axe and chop out a bit of fresh coal for you.

She was a part time freelance coal miner,

your great-grandmother.

That story is completely untrue.

That story is as true as my name.

Er.

- Sorry I... I was just, um... - No, good idea. Give it a go.

Which one do you like best?

- I've never been in here before. - No.

Stand straight.

It's hard to gauge the fall of the trouser

without proper shoes.

It's got to be Oxfords, really. You might get away

with a Chelsea boot. Have you got a Chelsea boot?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Ah.

When this is done, the thing you have to remember

about these buttons is, sometimes, always, never.

What?

The buttons, a man keeps fastened. Sometimes.

Always. Never. Now take it off and we'll make it sing.

You know how this suit needs a bit of a tidy up? A trim?

Same thing goes for your hair.

You look spruce. Doesn't he look spruce?

Well, I wasn't sure it was him.

Is it one of your grandad's?

You haven't got a spare gun, have you?

- So I can shoot myself. - Don't mutter.

Your father mutters. It's not endearing

and it's not effective.

I know it's inconvenient with your grandad.

It's not inconvenient.

- It's disorientating. - Awkward.

Destabilising.

- Confusing? - Not confusing.

Unsettling.

Disquieting.

Tense.

Anyway it can't be helped.

And er, well...

you look spruce.

Well, I would not want to play Scrabble with you.

Really?

- Wouldn't you? - Or your mum.

Jack.

Give you a lift if you like.

So his brother went missing and ever since then...

The prodigal son.

- What? - Well, the prodigal son

goes missing, and then comes back,

and the dad kills the fatted calf and everything,

gives him a ring.

And then the other son, the one that actually stayed behind

to help him, he gets nothing.

I hate the prodigal son.

Then you'll like my dad.

- Um, are we in the way? - No.

No, it's fine.

- Are you eating with us? - Is that okay?

Yeah. And you can carry on after food.

I'll have well beaten him by then.

Good.

Good game plan.

Play the man not the board.

- She's a girl, grandad. - Me too, as a matter of fact.

"Zo"?

You can't have that. Zoo's got two O's.

- No. Actually, zo is a word. - Are you sure?

Definitely zo's a word. What's that?

"Oxycamphors".

What's an oxycamphor?

It's a chemical. I'm a chemist, Alan. Remember.

I'd check that if I were you.

We're not checking anything.

She's a chemist.

If she says oxycamphors is a chemical...

it's a chemical.

I don't mind people checking.

Anything that spins the game out to be honest.

"Gu" by the way...

is a traditional stringed instrument

- from the Shetland Islands. - I'm impressed.

But I still want to check it.

I also want to know if the dictionary tells us

why Jack would ever know the name

of a traditional string thing from the Falklands.

Shetlands.

And what's "yo"?

You can't have yo. What is it?

- Clearly, it's half a yo-yo. - It's a greeting.

Greetings are allowed.

Thank you, Mr. Jack's Dad.

There it is. Oxycamphor. You were right.

She knows damn well she's right.

What are you talking about?

What was the next one, "yo"?

Don't look that up.

I just said it's a greeting and greetings are allowed.

You were forever using "hi" and "ho". You know "yo" is okay.

Did you really play "ho", Grandad?

As in...

"hos and cars".

I said, don't look that up.

Dad! You're not even playing.

Dad?

Sue?

Sue is that you?

Peter!

It's me. Your dad.

Sorry.

You all right?

Yeah, I was just passing.

You don't have to get out. It's fine.

- My house, your house. - I was finished anyway.

Cup of tea?

I just wanted to say...

about last night.

It's fine. No problem. Come on. Cup of tea.

I don't know how we keep...

rubbing each other up, you know, the wrong way.

I think it's to do with Michael, isn't it?

Probably.

Hey, come and look at this.

Don't worry about me trying to communicate with you

or anything.

Where have you seen those words before?

Erm.

In a game of Scrabble.

Our Michael used to play them.

What?

All good players use those words.

They're two letter words.

You've got them written down here.

It's him. I'm sure of it.

He's fast and he's got lovely words

and he always maximises the score.

And he's not sentimental, you know. He doesn't just play

a word because it looks nice. It's him.

"Zo". He played zo that night. You said there was no such word

and that's when he walked out.

What?

You said there was no such word and that's what...

Are you blaming me?

Who...

- What? - I told you to stay

- in the bathroom. - I did stay in there,

but I was turning into a prune in that bath.

Anyway, why should I hide? Done nothing wrong.

I know you. I've met you.

- You're married. - Not any more, son.

Looking for our Nigel was the only thing

that kept us together...

and once we found him...

recriminations, boredom, you name it.

What, what have you been...

Have you had sex?

- Have you had sex in my bed? - Well, we weren't going

to have sex in Jack's bed, were we? It's a bunk bed.

I'm not Tarzan. Anyway, it didn't feel right, did it,

having sex in the kid's room?

You had sex in my bed?

How could you do that? Even I don't have sex in my bed.

- Don't you? - Son...

you must ask yourself why you're making so much fuss.

I mean, what harm are we doing?

Anyway you should be proud of your dad.

Let me tell you, he's a very considerate

- and accomplished lover. - Oh, God. Shut up.

- No, seriously. - Please.

- He's got empathy. - Please.

- No one has ever... - Please stop talking.

I'm gonna go.

And when I come back this hasn't happened.

Okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. You see the thing is,

the traffic is horrendous.

Mm-hmm. I mean really.

So let's reschedule.

Then I can, er, get my ducks in a row.

No, I don't mean literal ducks.

No I... I don't do ducks.

I don't do chipmunks either.

Chipmunks are, I mean chipmunks

aren't even an indigenous species.

And we've already agreed on squirrels.

Hmm. Squirrels eating ice cream.

Who's not gonna love that?

What?

Alan.

No problem.

Grandad's gone.

Gone? Gone where?

Gone gone.

His bags are gone. The lot. He's not answering his phone.

He's left.

Did you say something to him. Have you had a row?

What? No. Ask him.

I never said anything to him apart from "goodnight".

We have to find him.

What do you mean we have to find him?

He's a missing person.

What are you on about, he's a missing person?

He's a grown man. He's gone back to his own home.

I don't know why he left it in the first place.

Mum.

- We should find him. - Definitely. Erm.

What? Have you both gone crazy?

He didn't live here.

Therefore the fact that he's not here

does not make him lost.

On the contrary, it means he's gone back

- to where he's supposed to be. - How do you know that

if he's not answering his phone?

Maybe you should go round and check.

He's lived in that house for 50 years.

Not once in all of that time have I ever considered going

to see if he's still living there.

What?

Dad?

- Is he in? - No, he's not.

- Do you know where... - Where is he?

I don't know where he is. Do you?

- He's not in there. I've looked. - I know but...

can I have a look around? I've never been inside.

- He's funny about it. - Well, if he's funny about it,

it's not for me to be serious about it, is it?

But...

well I thought there might be, you know,

a clue.

If he's not said where he is, maybe he doesn't want you

to know where he is.

We're supposed to be going to this thing in Chester.

He bought me tickets. A present.

Why would he buy them and not turn up?

Why does he do most of the things he does?

Has he talked to you about this, um...

- Skinny what's-his-name? - Thesaurus.

He doesn't know anything about him.

Says he wants to meet him. Everyone knows

you should never arrange to meet someone

that you only know from the internet.

It's dangerous.

There was that girl, wasn't there, from Barnsley,

ran off with some guy who turned out to be 30 stone.

She was only 14.

I don't think anyone's been sexually grooming my dad.

No,

but what if this Skinny fella turns out to be a kid?

And people, um...

think it's your dad who's doing the abducting?

Jesus.

Is this you?

Yeah.

- That's me and... - Michael.

The one who ran away.

Is that him?

That's him.

The prodigal son.

Are you okay?

- Wait. I'll just get a, er... - I'm...

I'm fine.

I'm not fine at all.

Arthur?

Arthur, I'm... I'm so sorry.

I don't know. I don't know what I was thinking of.

I need you.

I'm so sorry. Could you come and pick me up?

Hi.

I came here and I...

I saw these pictures and...

that's his...

I remembered being in the morgue

- looking at... - All right.

It's okay.

What was I thinking of?

Is he mentally enfeebled in any way?

No more than he ever was.

Confused at all?

No more than the rest of us.

I can take his details.

- I'll get you a photo. - If we get an unidentified body

or an injured person that matches the description

then sure, we can give you a call

- and ask you to come and... - Don't do that.

- I don't want to do that. - Well then...

to be honest...

he's hale and hearty. He's past the age of consent.

Unless he's waving round unlicensed fire arms or driving

without due care and attention, then I don't see...

Well, I know. I know.

You know one night...

my son went missing.

He got in a big nark and walked out of the room.

We were watchingTop Gear.

I told him to stop talking over it. Off he went.

Banged the door. Then he never came back.

State of panic. Rang all his mates.

I was driving round the streets looking for him. Wife in tears.

- You've no idea. - Yes, I have.

I'm driving round and I am literally shaking.

I call the station. Got people on it. Didn't know

what else to do. And then I went up to his bedroom.

- I know. - No, no.

I went up to his bedroom...

and he were fast asleep.

He'd gone straight to bed.

There he was all cosy.

It happens.

Not all the time.

♪ It's a heartache ♪

♪ Nothing but a heartache ♪

♪ Hits you when it's too late ♪

♪ Hits you when you're down ♪

♪ It's a fool's game ♪

♪ Nothing but a fool's game ♪

♪ Standing in the cold rain ♪

- ♪ Feeling like a clown ♪ - ♪ Feeling like a clown ♪

- ♪ It's a heartache ♪ - ♪ It's a heartache ♪

- ♪ Nothing but a heartache ♪ - ♪ Nothing but a heartache ♪

- ♪ Love him 'til your arms... ♪ - ♪ Love him 'til your arms... ♪

♪ ...break ♪

♪ Then he lets you down ♪

♪ It ain't right with love To share... ♪

- Jack's found him. - What? He's here?

No. He's not here.

He synced his phone with my desktop.

He had "Find My Phone" turned on. So, if I go here.

That's him.

That's where he is.

Where is that?

Somewhere near Ainsdale.

Well then, he's fine then, isn't he?

He's just gone to go and get away from it all.

That's where we used to go on holiday when we were kids.

What if he's gone to meet someone?

What?

He talked about going to meet some guy off the internet.

He's not gone to meet some guy off the internet.

What's a guy off the internet doing in Ainsdale?

What?

That explains why he's not answering his phone.

He's got no signal.

You don't even care.

You don't even care one little bit.

Well, what do you want me to do?

He's gone on a jolly. You just said.

I know my dad better than you.

And I know he's okay.

But I'm going to go up there.

But I'm doing it for you. Not him.

Okay?

"Nissom."

What's that?

It's just a nice word.

I'm just...

Favourite words.

Do you know what my favourite word is?

No, I don't.

Soap.

Soap.

Go on.

Give it a go.

Soap.

- Soap. - Soap.

Small pleasures, eh?

Dad?

Alan?

Alan!

Alan!

Dad!

You broke his heart, you know?

All he ever talked about was you.

Doesn't matter what conversational gambit

you try.

The tides, the weather...

European fishing quotas, the sudden appearance

of bottle nosed dolphins.

The mating habits of the North Atlantic grey seal.

It all comes back to you. I, I wish he was here...

I'm his other son.

- What? - The one who didn't run away.

The one he's been staying with.

The one he went to possibly identify the body with.

I've got a son, Jack. He's quite close to my dad.

- My wife Sue? - No, mate.

Well, we're a bit worried about him. We were worried

that he might have gone off in a distracted state

and done something you know...

Hang on a minute.

How do I know that you're his son?

How do I know that you're not the tax. Or the police.

Why would the police be after him?

I don't know. He's an awkward bugger.

He's my dad.

We're worried about him. Just tell me what you know.

Yeah. Yeah. Now I see it. You're the very image of him

when you get narky.

- He's out. - I know he's out.

That's why I'm worried about him.

Why you worried? He's a very experienced sailor,

isn't he?

- Is he? - Yeah.

Storms and gales,

he's had the lot, him and that little boat.

Yeah. Very experienced. Very experienced.

What are you looking for?

What have I been looking for all these last years?

When I put on my coat and walk and walk and walk.

What do you think I was looking for?

I remember you doing it.

But I didn't know what you were doing at the time.

I thought all dads did that, you know.

I didn't know where else to look.

Apart from everywhere.

They tell you to think about...

everything you know about them.

But it turns out...

I didn't know that much.

Only the Scrabble thing.

And I don't even know if he liked Scrabble

that much just...

it stuck in my mind, because he walked out

in the middle of a game.

I should've gone after him.

You were in a nark.

I should have gone after him.

That's true. I never thought of that.

I hate Scrabble.

You think it's going to be about the words

but it's just about the numbers.

You think you're going to be playing lagoon

and lambent...

or soap...

but it's all Mu, Pi...

Za and Zo.

Nobody leaves home over a game of Scrabble.

It wasn't about the Scrabble.

The Scrabble was just the occasion.

It was Mum.

As soon as Mum died...

he was just angry all the time.

Something bad happened to him,

when I should've been protecting him.

Dad, we don't know that.

And then this Skinny Thesaurus started.

I mean, look at this.

He plays exactly like our Michael.

Same words sometimes.

I've been playing him.

I know I have.

He's found me. Or I've found him.

And if he is...

you know, I've been playing a ghost.

All good players play the same way.

Yeah, until the other day, and then, look.

Look at this.

Marauder. Down the side there.

Would you waste a "u" on a word like that?

Marauder is the name of our caravan.

- He's trying to talk to me. - Dad.

- So I messaged him. - Dad.

I'm going to meet him.

- Dad, don't do that. - Look here,

- there's the message. - Everybody knows you shouldn't.

Well, what have I got to be scared of? The only thing

I'm scared of is dying before I sort this out.

Hello, son.

Fancy a game?

- Where did you get that? - eBay.

We've been playing each other for weeks, haven't we?

- What? - You're him, aren't you?

Skinny Thesaurus.

I'm sorry.

I'm all there is.

The PickwickTop of The Pops of sons.

It's all right.

I'm the Chad Valley Big League of Dads.

This is bloody useless, isn't it?

The pieces are too flimsy.

They get crumpled when you try to pick them up, look...

Well, that's all there is. If you want to play then,

that's it.

Have to make the best of it then.

Yeah.

It's clearing up.

Yeah. It's okay.

Nice day.

Well...

not nice but...

ordinary.

He's not coming back.

The prodigal son.

Not today.

Give it a minute. Traffic's terrible.

The other son...

the non-prodigal one.

Do you know what he got for his troubles?

Days.

Mornings.

Afternoons.

At home.

With his family.

Ordinary days like this one.

That's what he got.

Oh.

- All right? - Yeah, you?

Not bad.

You coming?

♪ The sun was bright Bikini yellow ♪

♪ The sky was Wedgewood blue ♪

♪ The mood Was unspeakably mellow ♪

♪ When you came And spoilt the view ♪

♪ The sea is a black And blue diva ♪

♪ It sticks to your skin Like glue ♪

♪ The summer was nice and easy ♪

♪ 'Til you came And spoilt the view ♪

♪ It's all about you ♪

♪ Insufferably you ♪

♪ The things we don't do ♪

♪ It's all about you ♪

♪ Your self-importance Doesn't surprise me ♪

♪ You slip into your role With ease ♪

♪ You crowned yourself And stated "arise me" ♪

♪ While the rest of us were down On our knees ♪

♪ On the rare occasion That words fail you ♪

♪ There's a chance for us To get some sleep ♪

♪ I tried my hardest To curtail you ♪

♪ But I haven't slept a wink All week ♪

♪ It's all about you ♪

♪ Insufferably you ♪

♪ The things we don't do ♪

♪ It's all about you ♪

♪ Shaken by the fear What to do? ♪

♪ Shaken by the fear Looking at you ♪

♪ Sometimes always never ♪

♪ Sometimes always never ♪

♪ Something has changed ♪

♪ Something has changed ♪

♪ I don't know why ♪

♪ Something has changed ♪

♪ Something has changed ♪

♪ Sometimes always never ♪

♪ I'm looking forward ♪

♪ To clear my head ♪

♪ To understand ♪

♪ A change ♪

♪ A change ♪

♪ A change ♪

♪ Sometimes always never ♪

♪ Sometimes always never ♪

♪ Sometimes I wonder ♪

♪ What's going on ♪

♪ It's all gone wrong ♪

♪ And though I've tried to ♪

♪ I can't hold on ♪

♪ To what has gone Sometimes always never ♪

♪ I don't know why ♪

♪ Sometimes always never ♪

♪ Something has changed ♪

♪ I don't know why ♪

♪ Something has changed ♪

♪ Sometimes always never ♪

♪ I don't know why ♪

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