Original subtitles

And how are you doing, baby?

Like a bee stung my tongue.

Oh, let me check.

All right, come on. Open wide.

It's just thrush.

Probably feels worse than it is.

We're gonna be sending you home

with some steroids and antifungals.

It's important that you don't smoke

while you're taking these meds.

I've been reading about some other drugs that are out there.

- Mm-hmm. - Um, the protease inhibitors?

Do you think I qualify to get on them?

Unless you got a connection with the black market,

those meds are still being held up by the FDA.

How many times have I watched you come in here?

About a year.

Mm-hmm.

You're still a baby on this journey.

I've been positive for seven years and look at me.

- You're gonna be okay. - But I read

it moves really fast in some people,

and they still don't understand why.

Well, I mean...

It says here that your T cells and red blood cells are low,

but everything else seems to be stable.

Other than that tongue of yours, how you been feeling?

- Not horrible. - Okay.

Mostly just scared.

Well, hold on to that.

"Not horrible" is...

a lot better than most people who come in here.

Thanks, Blanca.

I told them, when they checked me in,

that I only wanted Nurse Blanca to take care of me.

Oh, I'm not a nurse yet, honey. I...

I'm getting there, one day at a time.

- Mm.

- Blanca, do you have a minute? - Uh, yeah.

I'll be back, Troy.

Keep reading up on that virus.

The more you know.

It's not like him not to call.

Who?

Wait, what's going on? Where we going?

Pray. He checked himself in without letting anybody know

- he was here. - What?!

Are you okay?

Why didn't you call?

You know how many times I rushed to the hospital

to be with Costas?

And for what?

We all die alone.

Don't say things like that.

Oh, hush up.

I knew you bitches would sniff me out

and find me sooner or later.

What is it now?

Pneumonia, again.

But this time, the doctor says I don't...

have enough of an immune system to fight it, so...

This is it.

This is the end.

No, no, no, no, no.

We haven't exhausted all of our options.

I'm gonna get a second opinion.

I'm gonna ask Dr. Williams who he'd recommend.

In the meantime, let's get some deoxy uridine

running into that IV.

Okay? I'll be right back.

No.

Don't be giving me one of your "Blanca pep talks."

We've been on this journey too long

to be getting all sentimental.

- Have you prepared a will? - Yeah.

My aunt has it. She knows to call you.

Well, is there anything I can help you with

to make you more comfortable?

Just...

Just lay with me, please.

I don't understand why I've been so sick,

with my low platelets and the pneumonia

and my eye and stuff.

But yet, you haven't been...

sick in over a year.

Just nothing.

Your guess is as good as mine.

This disease don't make no sense.

I don't want nobody to pity me.

I want everybody to know that I...

...died happy.

Satisfied.

But I do have one thing I need to finish.

What's that?

My panel for the AIDS Quilt.

And I want to finish it with you.

My sewing kit and all the trimmings and stuff

are in my bag over there on the chair.

Got Liberace's cape in here?

No. I decided that

I wanted my panel to be gaudier and gayer than Sylvester's.

That way, when they unfold it on the national lawn...

...all those government people who did nothing

will be blinded by its fabulosity.

Well, let's see what we got here.

We got the sequins.

- Where's the tulle?

Right. I was waiting for the tulle.

You know I had to have it.

Wow.

I'm not ready to lose you, Pray.

I'm not ready to let go.

I know.

The category is...

Live...

Work...

Pose!

Hey. I'm Blanca.

I'm your nurse's aide.

Blanca, it's me, Troy.

- Oh, my God, Troy.

Look at you, all healthy and glow-y.

- Mm. - Let me see.

Yeah, I see those antifungals worked.

That, and I got into the trial.

The one where they give us multiple drugs at once.

- Oh, the cocktail. - Yes.

And it's working.

Within two weeks, my thrush was completely gone.

No more swollen glands.

I have an appetite again. I've gained weight.

I feel great.

Who in the hospital got you into the trial?

It's bullshit.

I have never had an AIDS patient, Black or Latin,

offered a spot in one of these trials.

Or any trials, sweetheart.

Who do you think's running the pharmaceutical companies?

It's the same old, impotent white men

who are running the government.

I'm getting Pray on those drugs.

Well, baby, how we gonna do that?

The only way you ever get white people

to do anything.

Scare 'em.

You coming?

The protocols for who gets in the study

are determined by the drug companies and the CDC.

I know the optics are bad.

Optics?

A pile of dead people is bad optics?

A pile of dead Black people is bad optics.

A pile of dead white people is a national tragedy.

Race is not the only factor

that determines who is getting these drugs.

How many people are in this study?

- I can't tell you that. -Oh, I can.

I asked the doctors who are administering it.

Eighty.

Out of the 80, how many are Black or Latin?

I can't tell you that either.

Two.

Two!

Doctor, calm down.

You're asking a doctor to calm down because

he wants to prevent people from dying?

I like all of you.

You're excellent employees,

but my advice to you is to take a breath and not cause trouble.

Not just because you could be terminated,

but because these drugs appear to be working.

Why would you want to interrupt the scientists

and possibly delay the results of their study?

Because the study is flawed

if it's only including white people!

It's not only biased, it's not scientifically sound.

Listen, Vanessa.

I know that ACT UP was slow in building a rainbow coalition

to fight this disease, but they're caught up now.

And they're gonna be all kinds of angry

when they find out that two out of the 80 people

in this specific study are people of color.

And it won't take three hours to get a crowd

of angry folk down here to protest,

to call up their TV people and chronicle this whole thing.

Now, I may be only a nurse's aide,

but I know for sure that, for this hospital,

that's bad optics.

I like the look of terror in your eyes.

It tells me you're actually gonna do something.

I don't like to be threatened.

But I also don't disagree with you.

I'll make some calls

and get your friend into the trial.

It's not enough.

We need two slots.

One for Pray Tell and one for Blanca.

We did it.

You and Pray are in.

What?

Look, I'm happy for Pray and all,

and he's much worse off than me, but I don't think I need this.

Shouldn't we give it to someone who is sicker?

This new idea of combination therapy

stops HIV from multiplying in different stages,

which, in turn, prevents it from attacking your immune system.

Waiting until you're sick

means the damage is already done.

Who said I was waiting to get sick?

Ain't you ever heard of the Tuskegee study?

Of course I have.

So you know that they let 600 Black men die

from syphilis in the name of science.

In Puerto Rico, they used local women as guinea pigs

to test birth control pills.

And a bunch of them died, too.

This isn't either of those situations.

This is a genuine, robust, scientific trial of a drug

by a publicly traded pharmaceutical company

in conjunction with the CDC, and it's working.

Sweetheart...

I love you.

And I don't want to lose you.

You don't have to trust the drug company or the government.

You just have to trust me.

Do you trust me?

Yeah, I do.

Those are confidentiality agreements.

You are now known as patients 00643

and 00644.

These are log books.

This particular trial is to test the efficacy

of combining protease inhibitors

with non-nucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitors.

You need to take the pills on a very specific schedule.

Are there any side effects?

Besides living?

I don't care.

Just give me the pills.

We are still unsure of the toxicity

of this particular dosing.

Along with your weekly blood tests, we need you to come in,

once a month, for a thorough examination.

If you develop a fever or feel any body aches,

it's important that you call this number immediately.

Well...

here's to getting so old,

folks will start calling me grandmother.

Come here.

How long has it been?

Since Angel and Papi's wedding.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

You know, I really thought it was over for me.

But then I got into this trial at the hospital.

What's this trial?

It's a cocktail of meds.

Man, you know these meds are lethal.

You remember what happened to Blanca.

No, it's not AZT. It's some new stuff.

And it's working.

Look at me.

My T cell count is rising.

I feel like I have a new lease on life.

I feel like a 20-something again.

And now that I know that I'm gonna live, I...

I don't want to have a single regret.

Life has just been passing me by,

and there's so much living I've missed.

I feel you.

Oh, really?

And what have you missed?

You.

I missed you too, baby.

But don't let it go to your head.

I've also missed performing.

I gotta get back on the stage,

but my ass is too old for ballroom.

Oh, I feel the same way.

You are too young to be feeling too old.

But I think I know what might help.

What's that?

So, after rehab, I was in search of community.

And a space where I could raise my voice in protest

of all the injustice I've witnessed.

- What about ACT UP? - I'm still involved with them,

but I just felt like I would be a liability.

You know, I couldn't see.

I could barely walk.

So, I had to find another outlet, a new way to protest.

And that is when I stumbled across

the Gay Men's Choir.

Beautiful.

- Thank you... - Join us.

You need something to release all that pent-up energy you got.

We both do.

-Hey. - Hey, buddy.

- What's happening? - Pray, are you joining us?

Yes, and I brought a new voice.

This is Ricky.

Nice to meet you, Ricky.

Oh, we're rehearsing "Love Lives On."

- Do you know it? - I do.

Oh, great. Here, I have a copy for you.

There you go.

Okay, gentlemen.

Our spring gala is a week from today.

Uh, let's get in formation,

and, uh, we're gonna do it one more time.

Why are we turning our backs to the audience?

The men in white, facing forward,

represent the original founding members of the group

who have survived the plague.

The ones in black represent those we've lost way too soon.

Uh, all right, one more time from the top.

Whenever you're ready.

Shouldn't it say, "Live, Werk, Pray"?

No.

You know, people call me by my name

when they want to get my attention,

but the balls are my identity.

I want this quilt to tell people who I am.

And who I am is a celebration of that world.

Hmm.

I want to be remembered as a representation

of all that the balls could be.

Hope and joy and family...

Sometimes, viciousness.

Well, there ain't gonna be a lot to be remembered,

according to our last blood tests.

I honestly can't believe this is real.

The drugs are working.

Pray, we gonna live.

Not just live.

Be fully alive.

You know, I feel like...

I feel like Ms. Pac-Man when she eats those power pellets.

- Mm-hmm. - The world is ours to devour.

We can go to Paris for Christmas

and sit in the park

and watch the birds return for spring.

Or I can die tomorrow,

and there's joy in all of it.

Today could be a sweaty ballroom or sitting

in front of the couch watching The Young and the Restless

or having a drink with a friend.

- Mm-hmm. - Don't matter.

'Cause today...

today feels like enough.

You know what I want to do more than anything?

Make plans.

- Mm. - Any plans. Don't matter what.

I just want to know that I can make them.

That the future is still something that...

we're allowed to have.

The first plan we need to make

is to not work on this damn quilt again.

Okay, deal.

Thank you for coming.

Thank you. Good to see you.

Ah. Mwah, mwah, mwah.

See you at the next rehearsal.

It was so much fun.

Thank you for your amazing hospitality.

Thank you so much...

- for everything. - Mm.

- Good night. All right. - Good night.

- Yeah. - Oh. Thanks for inviting me.

We have to do this again soon.

You ain't going nowhere till you help me clean up this mess.

Wha...?

You always trying to put somebody to work.

Oh, just...

- Stay and hang out.

You know, I'm really shocked

how much I'm enjoying being a part of this Gay Men's Choir.

I honestly...

thought it was gonna be a bunch of soulless white boys

singing show tunes.

- But we pretty good. - I told you.

- Mm-hmm. - Singing with the choir

has been really healing for me.

You know, I've started thinking about my fashion line again.

You know, which means I can fly around the world

looking for inspiration.

You know, I might want to learn French.

Oh.

Run the New York Marathon or...

- scuba dive, maybe. - Mm.

Fall in love again. You know?

Just endless possibilities.

This all sounds great.

What about you? Do you have any tours or anything coming up?

Nah. You know, I'm not so sure that life is for me anymore.

I'm tired, Pray.

I'm tired of hustling, tired of auditioning,

tired of hopping between houses...

and beds.

I'm almost 30 years old,

and I ain't done shit with my life.

Oh, stop selling yourself short.

You ain't giving up on your dreams, are you?

Listen. Listen.

We've been through a lot together.

- Mm-hmm. - I know you.

And I know that you need to be up on a stage.

That's where you're at your best.

That's when you're the happiest.

That's why I asked you to join the choir.

I know.

Don't give up on your dreams.

What's wrong?

This is it.

No more plans.

I'm gonna die, Pray.

Don't. Don't say that.

- I am. - Don't say that.

I got you.

I...

got you.

Don't it make sense that the food in a hospital

should be some of the finest gourmet shit in the world?

- Oh... - I'm serious.

For many people, it's their last meal.

Maybe put a little effort into it?

What's wrong?

Pray, I'm so happy you're doing well.

This place has been like hell.

Seeing all those young men dying all these years.

You know? With no hope.

I trained to-to make people feel better, to save them,

but I haven't been doing that.

And now, with the cocktail you're on,

I see some light.

I-I feel the hope.

Pray, they not letting no more people of color into the trials.

Yeah, we just met with Vanessa again.

- She spoke to the drug company. - Yeah, they gave her

some bullshit about the study being too far down the line

and the cost of adding new patients.

The cost?

Hundreds of thousands of people are gonna die

if they don't get on those drugs.

Fuck the costs.

It can't just be us who are the lucky ones.

We are no better...

than anyone else.

Our lives have no more meaning than our friends we've lost

and are losing!

So...

they're asking us to do nothing and live

while we watch them die?

To find proof that we're deserving

and they're not?

They give us life...

...and then charge us the price of survivor's guilt.

Pray's right.

How could I live with myself if I let this go on this way

without a fight?

What are we gonna do about it?

CROWD Health care is a right! Health care is a right!

Health care is a right! Health care is a right!

Health care is a right!

Health care is a right!

Health care is a right!

Health care is a right!

Health care is a right!

Health care is a right!

Health care is a right! Health care is a right...

All right. All right. All right. Listen up!

-Listen up, people!

You pharmaceutical, commercial,

capitalist pigs!

Europe takes nine months

to test a drug,

but here, in the U.S. of A....

it takes years!

What the fuck is going on?!

Why?! The people are dying!

The people are dying in the streets!

- We're not asking you... - Health care is a right!

...to release unsafe products to us.

We're simply asking to speed up the process!

AZT isn't enough!

- Give us the other stuff! - Health care is a right!

Seize control! Seize control!

- Get your fucking hands off of her, man. - Go home, faggot.

- What's wrong with you?! - This is our home.

How dare you treat us this way!

Silence equals death!

Victory now!

- Health care is a right!

Health care is a right! Health care is a right!

- Get your fucking hands off me!

Health care is a right!

You ain't gotta do it like that. You ain't gotta do it like that!

Health care is a right!

Health care is a right!

Health care is a right!

Health care is a right!

Health care is a right!

Health care is a right! Health care is a right!

Health care is a right!

Health care is a right!

-- The category is... -- I knew

what needed to be done was going

right to the source and scaring their asses

into doing the right thing.

How is their refusal to add more people--

people of color, poor people, our people--

to the trial doing the right thing?

Pray, they lowering the costs because we took action.

- The next step... - That's not enough!

It's outrageous how these people are fucking playing God!

Pray. Pray, I know.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I don't want to see any more of our people die.

I don't either.

You sure you wanna do this?

Uh-uh. You don't get to use my rage

and my gift for tantrum-ing to chicken out.

- We are doing this.

There was still leaves in Central Park

the last time we walked a ball.

It's been what?

At least five, six months.

Uh-huh, and I was a drunk hot-ass mess the last time.

That's why I'm here: to reclaim my glory,

and to get my name back in the good graces

- of the ball community. - Mm-hmm.

Because I can't let these children be dragging me

- into all eternity. - Mm-hmm.

Gotta let them know what a real legend looks like.

Ah. You mean legends.

Mm. I'm down for that.

Uh, you know Candy would be gagged

to see us performing together in her sweet honor.

Oh, see, I know that medication has gotten to your head.

'Cause Candy ain't never been sweet to your ass.

- True. So true. - Mm-hmm.

So, word on the street is...

Dr. Christopher is in the house tonight.

His first ball.

I never been this nervous at a ball.

Thank God I'm not doing this alone.

It's so cute to see you like this,

all in love,

wanting to impress your man...

Look, I do love that man.

Oh, he just... he pushes me.

He tells me every day that I'm beautiful, that I'm smart,

that I deserve...

That I deserve to be here.

I'm glad you found him.

Now, he's a little too clean-cut for my taste.

- But, you know, he's cute. - Okay.

- For you. - Yeah, stop hatin'.

'Cause you know my man is fine.

He most certainly is.

Pray, he is moving in when his lease is up

at the end of the month.

I am so happy.

- I'm a lucky girl. - No.

He's the lucky one,

'cause he got a real one.

The best one.

And don't you ever forget that.

I won't.

So, what's on your bucket list, huh?

I have done almost everything I set out to do

when I left my mama's house.

I've gotten to live my truth, unapologetically.

- Mm-hmm. - I've gotten to werk

the most treacherous of runways out on that ballroom floor.

And I've gotten to pose with the best of them.

Including you,

my most precious, precious sister.

So, no, I may not have my name on labels

across the Atlantic, but...

...my impact has been felt here.

I've left a lasting mark.

And I understand that now.

Oof.

- Is everybody ready? - Yeah.

Papi and Ricky waiting for us.

It's almost00 a.m.

Well, we the grand finale.

And you know they all stunt queens at heart,

so they ain't worried about waiting.

All right, then.

Let's pin this girl on real nice and tight,

and give these children a show they will never forget.

Now, just to remind y'all do-gooders,

this evening's admissions fee, as well as all cash prizes,

will be donated to the Ballroom Fund

to benefit our brothers and sisters

- struggling with HIV/ - AIDS.

- Yo, Stepdad. Let's go! - Come on. Hurry up.

Now it's the moment you've all been waiting for,

the final category of the night,

Candy's Sweet Refrain.

Tonight, paying tribute

to the grandest diva herself,

Miss Diana Ross, who proved...

in her iconic 1983 "Live from Central Park" performance

that...

...can ever stop her.

We have two of our own divas making a special appearance

to cap off tonight's Winter Fundraiser

Mother Blanca Evangelista,

and the godfather of them all, Pray Tell!

Ain't nothing like a double dose of diva.

If you need me, call me.

No matter where you are,

no matter how far.

Just call my name,

I'll be there in a hurry.

On that, you can depend and never worry.

Oh! Yes, don't stop!

Oh!

I know, I know you must follow the sun.

Wherever it leads.

But remember,

if you should fall short of your desires,

remember life holds for you one guarantee.

You'll always have me.

And if you should miss my lovin'

one of these old days,

if you should ever miss the arms that used to hold you so close,

or the lips that used to touch yours so tenderly,

just remember what I told you the day I set you free.

Oh, reveal!

Yes!

Tens!

Mm, mm, mm.

I don't think I've ever seen anything sexier in my life.

- Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.

You know how wet you make me.

- Ooh, I can't stand you.

You did great tonight.

Thank you.

Now, you know damn well you not supposed to be smoking.

Yeah, I concur.

Oh, leave me alone.

I don't drink. I don't drug.

One cigarette after I have given my all in the ballroom

ain't gonna kill me.

So, Dr. Christopher,

what do you think of our humble abode?

Uh, I loved it.

I was a little nervous at first.

I didn't know what to expect,

but it kind of reminded me of church.

The costumes, theatrics,

- worshipping...

I'm into it.

- So, when you walking, my man? - Walking?

Oh, nah. Nah, that's not my ministry.

- No, that's-- y'all got that.

How about I cook dinner for the four of us

next Friday at Blanca's?

At ours.

- Oh. - Yeah.

- At ours. - Well, all right.

Sounds like a plan to me.

Good to see you, brother.

- Love you, Mom. - Love you, too.

- I'll see you tomorrow? Mm. - Yeah. Mm-hmm.

- So good to see you again. - You, too.

- You were beautiful tonight. - Thank you.

- Absolutely beautiful. - Thank you.

So happy for you.

Ain't no mountain high enough.

Yo, Doc.

Keep her safe.

I will.

Pray? You here?

Pray.

I told you I was coming.

Why are you still in the bed?

Pray.

Pray?

Pray.

Get up, Pray. Get up, Pray.

No, no, no, no, no. Pray, get up.

Get up, Pray!

Get up, Pray. Don't do this.

Pray, I need you to breathe.

I need you to breathe, Pray.

Pray...

Pray!

Get up! Get up!

Oh, shit.

My friend is not breathing.

Please send an ambulance now.

I need somebody at 1355 Common Avenue, Apartment 2B.

Come on, Pray.

Come on.

Pray. Come on, just...

Come on. You can't...

You-- come on.

I need you, Pray.

No, Pray!

Pray...

Get up, Pray.

Ricky. Ricky.

How's Pray?

They tried everything...

No.

No! No!

- I know. I know.

- I know. I know. - No!

Um...

Well, come on, y'all.

Pray wouldn't want y'all going hungry.

I just don't understand.

It just happened so quickly.

I thought those meds that he was on was working.

That's the thing with clinical trials,

they may give you a placebo, and you would never know.

That's fucked up. So you're saying he was

only getting better 'cause it was in his head?

Maybe. Or it's possible

that his organs just suffered too much.

Even though his immune system was getting better.

The coroner said the inflammation to the heart

is what brought on the attack.

Something like that doesn't just happen overnight.

Yeah.

Who knows how long his poor body was there struggling for.

I don't want this to happen to you, Blanca.

I don't want it to happen to me.

I know. We're gonna be okay, baby.

They've been taking my levels on the trial,

and they said that the meds are working.

And look at you.

You look stronger than you've ever been,

and you ain't even on pills.

What is it?

I'm on the same meds Pray been taking.

But...

How is that possible?

I found a lesion.

Pray told me not to worry,

that he had some new medication for me.

He said he had the hookup with the doctors in the trial.

So, I've been going to his place every week

for the past two months.

And he always got more for me.

It didn't really make sense

that the doctors would just give him extra pills,

but the spot went away...

and I got strong again, so I let it go.

I figured he was just swiping it from the trial.

No. There's no way he could've swiped anything.

And those doctors at the hospital?

There's no way in hell

they're gonna give anybody an extra dose.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, my God.

- What?

No, Pray.

What, Ricky? What is it?

- Honey.

He was giving me his own meds.

Oh, Pray.

Oh, God.

Oh, Ricky.