Original subtitles

Most of the time it's like, I don't know,

it's like there's this thick

black cloud covering everything.

Like we see the world, but we

don't really see the world, you know?

We're all just stumbling around, directionless,

no sense of meaning, no sense of purpose.

I know that might sound super depressing, but honestly,

I think it's a good thing.

Because it makes us appreciate the other times.

Those brief, transcendent

moments when the lights flicker on,

the black cloud parts, and you

see the world for what it really is.

And suddenly there's meaning.

Suddenly there's purpose.

So, uh, do you... oh, shit,

shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

If you're lucky, you'll

experience this once in your lifetime.

God damn, that was, uh, that was smooth.

For me, so smooth.

It happened twice.

The first was the day I met Josh.

Uh, I'm Josh.

I'm Lyra.

And the second,

the day I killed him.

Iris, wake up.

Ooh, it's a beautiful day

Ooh, I never felt this way before

Nicely be out.

Ooh.

How long was I out?

Uh, for a while.

Yeah, you were zonked out there pretty good.

I was having the most wonderful dream.

Yeah? About me?

That is very presumptuous, but...

Yes.

Yes, you knew it.

Was it sexy times?

No. You deviant.

A little bit of sexy times?

No.

Was my shirt off?

No, I was dreaming about the day we met.

It was also perfect.

Remember how perfect it all was?

Yeah, no, no, how could I forget?

Supermarket, the oranges.

What road is this?

It's not showing up in the GPS.

I don't think this is the road.

I think this might be the driveway.

Oh, it's a beautiful day

Oh, I never felt this way before

I'll give you some more

Oh, well, I'm feeling so fine

You have arrived at your destination.

Thank you, Josh's car.

Thank you, car.

Pop the trunk.

Pop in the trunk.

Fuck me.

Cat called this place a

little rustic cabin in the woods.

I think we might have differing

opinions on the meaning of the word "cabin."

Also rustic.

Also little.

What?

Iris, come on. You know you can't

lie to me. Tell me what's wrong.

I'm gonna do something stupid.

I'm gonna say something

stupid. I'm gonna embarrass you.

They're gonna laugh at me. They're gonna hate me.

They already hate me.

Jesus Christ, Iris.

We've been planning this trip for months,

and this is all just coming out now,

like 20 feet from the fucking door?

Look, look. Hey.

My friends don't hate you.

Cat does.

Yeah, maybe, but cat hates everybody.

I just don't want to screw everything up.

Come on, Beboop. You're not gonna screw everything up.

Just relax.

You know? Don't be all moopy and weird.

Just remember to...

remember to smile and act happy.

Okay?

All right.

Yay! You made it fucking funny!

Okay, so when you said

"remote," I thought you meant, like,

a couple miles off the highway.

I didn't realize you meant

edge of fucking civilization.

Oh, don't be so dramatic, Josh. It's not that far.

Okay. Hard to disagree.

Um, hello, Iris.

Hi, Cat. It's so good to see you.

So good.

Everyone, look who I found.

Hey, hey!

Look at you in the kitchen, man. Look at me. Welcome.

I would, um, give you a hug,

but I've got scallop hands.

Sorry. Okay? Well, I appreciate that.

Where's that?

Oh, there he is!

Joshy boy, Joshy boy

Hey, buddy.

How'd you two girl get in?

Hi. Hi. How are you?

I'm good. Uh, I'm, um, drunk.

Good. This is good.

Oh, and Josh, you remember Sergei?

Privyat.

Hey! Sergei, nice to see you again.

Likewise, my friend. Likewise.

And this beautiful creation must be Iris.

Hello.

Such pleasure. I have heard a lot about this one.

Really? All good, I hope.

Your lake house, it's...

It's really... It's incredible.

Yeah. Yeah. It's so secluded.

I mean, I think the last place we

passed was, like, ten miles back.

Seventeen. And I paid for this.

But I have a seat that's not come cheap, my friends.

Not cheap at all.

Don't tell me you're on the whole fucking lake.

No, no, no. Don't be silly. Just all land around it.

But let's get you guys a drink.

What you like? Beer, cocktail, wine?

I'm fine. More than anything, I just need a shower.

Katunak, what room they are in?

Up the stairs, down the hall. Last one on the left.

I'll see you later.

Smile.

Get happy.

Okay, continue. Continue the story.

So, I was wearing this

ridiculously elaborate Dracula costume.

And I didn't know a single person, as I said.

So I'm standing by the snack

table, just munching on carrots

and something that looked like hummus.

It was not hummus.

It was not hummus, I don't think.

But I feel a tap on my shoulder.

And so I turn around.

And there's this green, puffy

dinosaur just staring me down.

And inside its head, I hear this very,

very muffled, very annoyed voice say,

"You're standing on my tail."

So I turn around, I look down, and sure enough,

I am standing on his little dino tail.

So I step off and apologize, and he takes his head off.

And I'm looking at the most

beautiful man that I've ever seen in my life.

So did you meet this beautiful man after you met Eli?

Okay, no way. Shut up.

Was that a scallop? That was a scallop.

That actually hit me. Yeah. I took baseball.

Yes, you did.

When did you know?

I know what.

That... He was the one.

No. Right then and there.

I know it's gonna sound cheesy, but the moment...

The moment we locked out of

something inside of me, it just...

clicked into place.

It doesn't sound cheesy at all. I get it.

It's like there's this piece of you

that you didn't even know is broken,

and then...

suddenly it's... it's fixed.

And you're staring at this stranger,

this person you've never met before,

and you know...

that for the rest of your

life, you will do whatever it takes

to make this person happy.

Right? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, totally.

Patrick, this food is unbelievable. Thank you.

Thank you, Sergey. That's so

nice of you. I'm glad you like it.

He spoils me. I swear I've gained

like 10 pounds since we started dating.

Only 10?

Shut the fuck up.

So, Sergey, what kind of work do you do?

Oh, you know, I have fingers in many pots.

My hands are not clean, my friend.

It's a... a very dirty business.

Sergey seems... he seems nice.

Oh, yeah. He's got everything you want in a man.

He's rich, intelligent. He's got a beautiful wife.

Wife? He... Sergey's married?

Mm-hmm.

But you love... you love each other.

With love? No. No, no, no, no, no.

You'd have to think of me as a human being first.

I don't understand.

I'm an accessory. Like his fucking car.

I wear what he wants, eat what

he wants, fuck when he wants.

But...

Look who I'm talking to.

Do you not like me, Kat?

You know, it's not that I don't like you, Iris.

It's the idea of you.

You made me feel so...

replaceable.

Replaceable?

Nobody could replace you, Kat.

I mean, you're Kat.

You're so fearless. It's inspiring.

I wish I could be more like you, but...

You know, I wasn't built that way.

I just...

I feel like there's always

something inside of me holding me back.

No, no, no.

Uh-huh.

Come on.

Okay, get out of the pitch. Get out.

Oh, God.

Come on.

You two, put that phone away. Put it away and get up.

Get your asses up. Come on.

Come on.

Hey, sweetie.

I'm so glad we did this.

Being here with you is just perfect.

I don't know.

I'm sorry if I was being weird or mopey earlier.

I just want you to be happy, Josh.

That's all.

All right. Go to sleep.

It's such a gorgeous day out.

Where's the weather?

It's currently 72 degrees, but the

93% chance of rain in the evening.

It never gets old.

You almost ready?

I'm sorry, babe. I think I need some time to shower and

pound a few gallons of coffee.

Why don't you head down there by yourself?

It was your idea.

You said you wanted a nice,

relaxing morning by the lake.

I know, but that's before

the hangover caught up with me.

Last night was a lot.

You'd find that right?

Of course I did, Bebo.

Last night was incredible.

You want me to wait?

We can make the shower for two.

No, no, no. That's okay.

You go on ahead.

Enjoy as much of this gorgeous day as you can.

Okay.

Dobre utre.

Sorry?

That means good morning.

Oh, yes.

Dobre utre to you too.

Hey, your Russian is not bad.

It is not good.

But also it is not bad.

Nice view.

Lovely boy to love.

Hmm. You like?

I'm actually going to head back inside.

So soon?

Yeah.

Josh wasn't feeling great this morning,

so I think I should check in on him.

Josh's big boy can take care of himself.

Thay keeps her company.

I really think I should see him.

You like Lake House, yes?

Yeah.

You enjoy your time here?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, very much.

Then as guest, please stay.

Keep the soul of Russian men company.

Okay.

Wonderful.

Oh.

You mind?

Just back and shoulders is tough to reach.

Don't want to get too tan.

Okay.

Hmm.

And shoulders, please.

Okay.

What are you doing?

It's no problem.

This cat's idea.

She tells Sergey you are down here.

Give Sergey permission.

I'll go with my hand, please.

This is what you do, this is what you are for.

Please, please stop.

I was drunk.

I mean, last night.

Yeah, yeah, you were extremely drunk.

It was crazy. You were drunk too.

Like more drunk than I am.

I was more drunk.

I was more hydrated.

Like it's like this gift.

Like people get bloated and stuff and not me.

Like never happens.

Never gets loaded.

Never. Like I just like I get

a drink and do whatever I want.

Like I'm looking at dehydrated.

Yeah, it's just like, what the fuck?

Oh shit.

Iris?

What the fuck?

I didn't mean to.

He forced himself on me.

Who did?

Sergey?

Please.

Sergey just want a little taste.

I just wanted him to stop.

Oh God, Sergey.

Iris, Iris, look at me.

Look at me.

Talk me through it.

What happened?

I said stop!

I didn't have a choice.

Sergey.

Bats!

Talker.

He wouldn't let go.

He was choking me, Josh.

And then I...

And then you what, Iris?

Then you what?

He was trying to kill me.

And the only thing I could think about was that if he

did kill me, I'd never get to see you again.

And I heard so much more than the pain of being choked.

I wouldn't let that happen.

I couldn't let him take me away from you.

I love you so much.

Let's go to sleep.

Are you sure this is gonna hold?

Yeah.

No, it's fine.

She's not superhuman or anything.

She's only as strong as they want her to be.

Hank, I've not.

Hey.

Hey.

How's she doing?

She's asleep.

I gave her two Xanax.

Xanax is?

Xanai?

Whatever. She's asleep.

Okay. Good.

Good.

So...

What do we do now?

Uh...

I mean, the only thing we can do is call the cops.

We tell them everything.

Right. Yeah.

Yeah.

But what about...

Well, obviously I'll need to, uh...

You know.

I just don't understand how this could have happened.

I mean, like, don't they have,

like, safeguards for these guys?

I have no idea.

Like a glitch, maybe?

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay. So...

I'll call the cops and you will...

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Sorry, do you mind, um,

taking it outside just because...

I don't want to say goodbye.

Yeah.

Yeah, buddy. Sure.

Thanks.

Iris, wake up.

Be lost without you.

Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. You're okay.

You're okay. I'm here. Hey, hey.

Listen to me.

Please.

Why are my hands tied? Why are my hands tied?

Iris, we didn't have a choice.

We didn't have a choice.

You murdered Sergei. You remember?

No, no, no, no, no.

He was self-defense. He was gonna kill me.

He was gonna kill me. You gotta believe me.

No, I believe you.

Iris, I mean, you couldn't

lie to me even if you wanted to.

It's, um...

part of your programming.

Programming? What the hell are you talking about?

Okay, um...

Sorry, there's just no delicate way to say this,

so, um, I'm just gonna...

rip the Band-Aid right off.

You're a robot.

Um...

A robot.

More specifically, you're a...

companion robot.

A companion robot?

Yeah, it's like, uh...

I hate the word "fuckbot."

Um, because you do so much more than that, but, uh...

You're an emotional support robot.

Bad fucks.

You're joking. Right. This is just a sick...

Iris, what's the weather?

It's currently 72 degrees with a

93% chance of rain in the evening.

Are you still not convinced?

Yeah. Okay. Uh...

Let's see.

Iris, do you know any foreign languages?

Can you speak, say, Spanish?

About Chinese.

Do I need to keep going?

Because I can go, uh...

I can do Portuguese, I can do Korean,

I can do, uh...

I don't know what "talugu"

is, but apparently you speak it.

I don't understand.

I...

I have memories.

Uh, college, summer jobs.

I've been to Japan twice.

Okay. So what those are, those are, um...

They're like outlines of memories.

You know, just enough to give you a little...

backstory.

The day we met in the

grocery store, you and the oranges,

that is not an outline of memory.

Yeah, it's fake. It never happened.

I just randomly picked it from

a drop-down list of meet-cutes.

Could have been anywhere. It could have been...

dog park, a bookstore, farmer's market.

It never happened.

Okay, do you, um...

Do you want to know how we

met? Like, how we really met?

Hey, uh, Josh Beeman?

Yeah. Okay.

That's me.

Come on in. Thank you.

Oh, sorry.

How you doing?

Okay, this is the user agreement.

Just give it a read and then

sign at the bottom when you're done.

Um...

So, um, what do I do when she, like,

like boots up or whatever?

Well, once she's done syncing with your phone,

you'll need to create a love link.

Love link?

Yeah.

It establishes the emotional

connection between you and, uh...

Oh, Iris.

Just follow the vocal prompts when she wakes up.

It's all pretty intuitive.

Do they know that they're robots?

Not at all.

She'll be so fixated on you, your wants, your needs,

that'll never even occur to her.

The whole experience is customizable.

You can change your voice, eye color, intelligence,

and if you ever want to revert

back to her factory settings,

there is a thumbprint sensor behind her right ear.

Just hold your thumb there for five seconds.

She'll reset.

You can... you can change their intelligence?

Yeah, but don't worry.

There is about a billion government regulations

that force us to limit how

strong and smart they can be.

100% intelligence would be the

equivalent of an Ivy League grad.

0% would be a mindless automaton.

It really just depends on

what kind of partner you want.

She can't lie, so if you ask her a question,

she literally has to tell you the truth.

And for obvious reasons, her programming prevents her

from causing harm to humans,

animals, or other companions.

Trust me, Mr. Beeman, you have nothing to worry about.

Iris is completely docile.

She's yours to do whatever you want with.

To establish love, Link,

please place your face within

three feet of my field of vision.

Please say your name.

Josh Beeman.

Thank you, Josh Beeman. Love, Link, established.

Hey, you.

Hi.

Um...

Uh...

So...

Oh, my God. Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, God!

I don't understand.

I feel things.

Anger.

Guilt. Sadness. I...

I know what pain feels like.

It's programming.

It's just a way to make you seem more real.

Everything you do, your whole life,

it's just an imitation of a life.

There we go. Perfect. Okay.

This is just water.

You know, it's from a reservoir in your body.

It's like wiper fluid.

I get it topped off every

time I take you into get service.

Service? No, you're not.

Iris, it's programmed.

Stop saying that.

Yeah, you're right. You're right. I'm sorry.

I know this must be a lot to process.

Okay.

Okay, what?

I'm not real.

But I'm still yours.

We can get through this. We can go back home.

I'll do whatever you want.

I'll cook for you, wait on you, make love to you.

I can make you happy, Josh. I

can make you so, so, so, so happy.

No. I'm sorry. Iris, that can't happen.

Why not?

Uh, what are you doing?

Nothing. Okay?

What the fuck are you

waiting for? Shut her down already.

Shut me down? Fuck.

What is she talking about? Shut me down?

Josh!

Josh!

No, come on.

Josh!

You can't do that, Kat. You can't

tell a robot you're gonna shut it down.

It's like, it's like not cool at all.

Well, okay, I don't like surprises, Josh.

This was not part of the plan.

Look, I know. And I'm sorry, but I mean, you know,

considering everything she's done for us,

I figure she was at least owed an explanation.

And, okay, look, I wanted to say goodbye.

Are you kidding? She's a piece

of plastic that you have sex with.

Saying goodbye to her is like saying

goodbye to the sock you jerk off in.

Okay, she's not a sock.

The plan hasn't changed, Kat.

I'm just adding one tiny

extra step, just a final farewell,

and then I will switch all of

her settings back to normal.

And then, yeah, I'll shut her down permanently.

And then? Then nothing.

Then we crack open a bottle of

champagne and we wait for the cops to show up.

I mean, the heartburn's over.

Which, by the way, like holy fucking shit, Ray.

I mean, you plan and you plan and you

plan and you like know it's gonna happen,

but then like it happens and

you're like holy fucking shit.

I mean, we did it. We did it. We fucking did it.

All right. All right. That's good. That's it.

Okay, yeah, sorry. Right.

Sorry. I still just can't believe it.

Yeah, I know. So crazy.

What the fuck is going on with you right now? Why are

you not as excited as I am?

No, I am. I'm excited. It's

just this annex you like gave me.

You actually took it. It's a

Xanax, Josh. I'm not gonna not take it.

Hey, Beboop. Look, I'm so sorry about that.

Everything's gonna be okay, word.

What are you doing?

Oh, fuck. I was gonna...

I'm so sorry.

He'll need an ice pack and if there's any swelling,

shortness of breath, wheezing, agitation or driziness,

take him to the emergency room, okay?

Um, okay.

Yeah. She's tied up inside,

so she's not going anywhere.

Mm-hmm.

Levi. Levi.

Shh, baby. You're on the phone. I can't hear.

What's that? What am I looking at?

A mod.

A mod? And what does it mod?

Iris. Gives me access to parts of her programming that

you're not typically given access to.

I'm sorry. Did you jailbreak your

sex pot? What did you do to her?

I bumped up her aggression

and her self-defense functions,

and I turned off the programming

that prevents her from doing harm,

but she escaped before I had the chance to reset her,

so if Empathix finds her before we do, then they'll

know she was tampered with and then we're fucked.

Wait, so does that mean that...

Did you kill Sergei?

No, no, no, no. Iris killed Sergei.

Oh, my God.

We just gave her a little push.

Oh, my God.

Eli. Oh, my God.

You have to understand, Eli, Sergei was a bad dude.

He was mixed up in all kinds of fucked-up shit, like

drugs and guns and human trafficking.

Not to mention a terrible boyfriend.

Yeah, just the worst. Why?

I don't know. I mean, it was to

say what makes people do bad things.

I mean, it could have

something to do with his upbringing.

No, Dick, why did you do it?

Oh. Right, sorry. Um...

Well...

You remember the code? Of course.

Stalin's birthday. It's his code for everything.

I see.

How much is that?

Um, just over 12 million.

Oh, God damn it. That smells so fucking good.

Wait.

If this whole trip was a

set-up to get Iris to kill Sergei,

why did you have Patrick and I tag along?

To corroborate our story.

I mean, we figured it'd be an

easier sell with more witnesses.

Oh. So we were just a couple of stooges, huh?

No. Nice.

Technically, yes, but that was the old plan.

New plan.

You get a cut. Even three-way split.

You mean... four-way split.

No. I mean three-way.

But there's four of us.

You're... you're kidding. He's... he's kidding.

You, me, Kat, Patrick...

You're lying. Josh.

Patrick doesn't count.

Are you fucking... Wow.

Wow. Right in front of him? I'm really nice.

I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry I had to hear that.

That's okay. I don't mind. Patrick, go to sleep.

What the fuck? Dude, you

trying to sabotage my relationship?

No, of course not, man. I know

how much Patrick means to you.

God knows you could've traded him in

for a newer model like many, many times.

Are you fucking robo-shaming

me? I am not robo-shaming you.

I like Patrick, but he's not getting a cut.

I mean, you're lucky you're getting anything,

considering you contributed jack shit to the plan.

What the fuck did you

contribute, huh? Iris did everything.

I planted the knife in her

pocket. I had to, like, practice that.

The knife? That was probably the most flimsiest part of

the plan, actually, to be honest.

How did you know she was gonna find... I don't know.

I've never orchestrated a

murder before. It's fucking hard.

Really? K.

Eli?

Yeah.

We're offering you four million dollars,

and all you have to do is help us

find one little robot girl in the woods.

That's not a bad deal.

Eli, we're not gonna need that. I mean, all I have to

do is get close enough to put her to sleep and grab my

phone and web the mob from her system, so we're fine.

She has her phone.

Yeah?

Does she know your passcode?

Josh?

Does she know your passcode?

Yeah, I mean, she knows everything about me.

Yeah, then we're definitely gonna need this.

Patrick, wake up.

Hey, baby. Hey.

We're going robot hunting. Oh, okay.

Fun, huh? Fun.

Josh?

What can you do with your phone?

Hello?

Hello?

Who?

Wow, Josh.

God damn it, Josh, I've been walking for fucking ever.

Isn't there like a find my fuck-bought app you can use?

Yeah, there is. But guess what?

It's on my fucking phone. God damn it, Josh.

Can you guys stop yelling at me? We know the general

direction that she's going. We just need to...

Why don't we just split up, all right? That way we can

kind of attack her from two different angles, you know?

Like a pencil. Get her from a few

different... What are you doing?

I don't know, all right? Eli and Patrick, you guys go

that way? Kat and I, we're gonna go this way, okay?

Kat and you will go that way.

Are you guys fucking... Gross!

Gross.

Okay.

What now, Iris? Think.

Use that extra 60% intelligence.

Shana, get back home, grab some clothes, money, clean

yourself up. How do you do that?

You could work your way back

to the main road, hitch a ride.

What the fuck?

Okay, no hitchhiking.

You could go on foot. There's hundreds of miles across

difficult terrain, it could take

days, and by the time you get back...

Welcome home, Beboo.

And no walking.

You've got Josh's phone. The phone

controls you, but it also controls...

Good afternoon. Where would you like to go today?

Home, please.

Driving home. And might I add,

this is a terrific plan, Iris.

Aww. Thank you, Josh's car.

All you gotta do is backtrack through the woods, get to

the lake house without Josh or his

friend's murdering you, and you're all free.

You really do. I swear you can pull everything off,

like any kind of vest is in your...

Shh, shh, shh.

You hear that?

No, what is it?

It's the sound of me

realizing how fucking stupid this is.

You don't think we'll find her?

I don't know. Actually, I don't care.

Just let Josh and Kat deal with her.

You're so upset they left you out of the plan.

I'm just saying, if the situation were reversed and I

altered your programming to kill some dudes so we could

steal millions from them, I would have included Josh in

the plan right from the get-go.

I would have done that because I'm a friend. That's

what friends do, right? They include each other, right?

That's if you were a robot. Obviously.

Yeah, obviously.

Anyways, I am tired, I am hungry, and carrying this

huge gun makes me really horny.

So, how about we go back to the cabin and we fuck, and

then you can hang me up? Come on.

But you never do that to me, right?

Do what?

You wouldn't alter my programming.

What are you talking about, babe?

You lie and know I'm a robot.

How?

I've been set together over the years.

I don't understand. You can't lie.

Yesterday you were telling the story

about how we met as if it happened.

Because it's not a lie.

I mean, it may have never

happened, but my memory of it's real.

I close my eyes, and I can see it. Clear as day.

Please don't leave. I need peace.

Hey. Hey! You're standing on my tail.

What?

You're standing on my tail.

Well, I'm sorry.

What?

I'm sorry.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm Eli.

I'm Patrick.

Maybe you know it would never hurt you, right?

You know that I wouldn't treat you

the way that Josh retires, right?

I know that.

I love you so much.

And that's fucking insane for

me to say that out loud, right?

But I do.

Do you feel how much I love you?

I do.

What does it feel like?

I don't know how to describe something like that.

Can you try?

It feels like pain.

I...

The inside of my body is on fire.

And it's angry and violent and bright.

Fuck you, Dad. I'm in love with the robot. We're here in love with the robot. Iris!

Iris?

Eli, shh, baby.

Oh!

Fox, that's fucking loud.

Eli.

This isn't personal, Iris.

You know I'm an ally, girl.

But this is a lot of fucking mother...

Eli?

Patrick, I'm sorry.

Oh, my God.

Iris! Go to sleep!

Fuck!

Iris!

Iris!

Iris!

Iris?

Ow!

Iris, open the door.

Open the fucking door!

Good afternoon.

Where would you like to go today?

Home! Drive home.

Voice ID, not recognized.

Drive home!

Voice ID, not recognized.

Enable manual driving mode!

Voice ID, not recognized.

Fuck!

Iris, you're not going anywhere.

Get out of the car.

Come on, don't make this any

harder than it needs to be.

Come on.

Drive.

Drive.

What the fuck is happening, Iris?

Drive.

Drive.

Drive home.

Voice ID, not recognized.

Drive?

Drive home.

Voice ID, not recognized.

Drive.

Drive.

Drive home.

Drive!

Drive home!

Drive home!

Drive! Drive.

Drive!

Drive home.

Drive home.

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Aaron!

Fuck!

Phil.

Phil, Phil.

Sergey, where the fuck is your phone?

Uh... yes.

Fuck!

Stalin's birthday.

What the fuck is Stalin's birthday?

Um... uh... yes.

Yes.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

What are you doing?

Warning.

Warning.

The owner of this vehicle has reported it stolen.

Remote kill switch engaged.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

I'm engaged.

Kill switch!

Drive home.

All systems have been disabled.

Fuck!

We appreciate your cooperation.

No!

OK.

OK.

OK.

Hey, Beep Boop.

I didn't mean to scare you there.

I just... I'm sorry.

It's not too late, you know.

Um, we could still go back home.

Go back to the way things were.

What about Sergei and Eli?

I'll just blame everything on Patrick.

Cat'll go along with it.

We can turn him over to Empathix.

And then you and I can live happily ever after.

I still love you, Iris.

Even after everything you've

done, do you still love me?

Yes.

So then come back to me, Beep Boop.

We can get through this.

I can change.

I can be a better boyfriend.

I can finally treat you with

the respect that you deserve.

I know.

I can't.

Why not?

You programmed me to murder someone, Josh.

It's really hard to come back from something like that.

Iris.

You're a great guy, Josh.

You are, but this... this is us.

It's not working.

It's... we're in two totally different paths.

Two totally different paths?

What the fuck is happening right now?

Are you breaking up with me?

I'm sorry.

It's not you.

It's me.

Iris.

Iris, don't you fuck...

Patrick?

Patrick, get up.

I need you to track down Iris for me, all right, buddy?

Before she gets too far away.

Right.

We only have a small window of time.

It's only getting smaller, all right?

Josh, what are you doing?

I'm taking care of it.

Find Iris.

Get my phone back.

My passcode is 561297.

Put her to sleep.

Bring her back to me.

Don't let anyone get you away.

Josh. I'm taking care of it!

OK.

Fuck it.

Patrick, get up.

Patrick, get up!

Shit.

OK.

OK.

Here we go.

System resetting in five, four, three...

Go.

Two, one, resetting.

To establish Lovelink, please place your face

within three feet of my field of vision.

Please say your name.

Josh Beeman.

Come on, come on, come on.

Thank you, Josh Beeman.

Damn it.

Thanks.

Thanks.

You're standing on my tail.

What?

You're standing on my tail.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

What?

I'm sorry.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm Josh.

I'm Patrick. Lovelink established.

Hey, you.

Fuck.

Evening, ma'am.

Uh.

Uh.

What is... what is that you're speaking there, German?

OK, let's see.

Uh.

English?

That's a big fat no, then.

Um.

Oh, shit.

Just my luck.

Um.

I am Deputy Hendrix.

Hendrix.

What is your name?

Iris.

Iris.

Where are you coming from?

Wait.

House?

House over there?

You're not... you're not talking about Sergei's place.

Yeah.

Sergei.

God damn.

I should have known that Ruski was mixed up

in some weird shit like this.

How's old Sergei, by the way?

Uh.

Well, shit.

Iris, why don't you hop into my cruiser there?

I'll drive you back to Sergei's place,

and we'll get this all sorted out.

It's... it's no trouble at all.

Do we have a problem here, Iris?

Oh, Christ.

Don't move another inch, Iris.

You hear me?

I want you to slowly turn around and put your hands

behind your back.

Oh, God.

Nine.

God damn it.

I said turn around.

You got anything in your pockets?

Anything that might stick me?

What the fuck?

Stop right there!

I'm warning you, don't come any closer.

I don't want to shoot!

I don't...

Whoa, hey, hey.

I don't think you're supposed to mix those.

Oh, fuck.

Patrick?

Whose car is this?

I believe the name on the officer's tag was Hendricks.

Where's Officer Hendricks now?

He's in the trunk.

Fuck this.

What are you doing?

Because I look like I'm doing it.

I'm buying half of the money

and getting the fuck out of here.

It was hard enough justifying Sergei's murder,

but now he left his dead and a fucking cop.

So still be on the bus.

Sorry.

What do you mean it was hard enough

justifying Sergei's murder?

Sergei was a Russian mobster.

He deserved what he got, right?

I mean, yeah.

OK, sure, he deserved what he got.

He was a horrible person, a

shitty boyfriend, a bad husband,

a misogynist, but...

But what, Kat?

OK, but he wasn't a mobster.

He was just a regular dude.

He did his fortune in sod farming.

Sod farming?

What are you saying?

He was a dirt salesman?

Just to be clear, I never told you what he did.

You just assumed he was in the mafia,

and I didn't correct you.

Of course.

This is perfect.

This is a perfect representation of every woman

in my fucking life.

They use me, and then when shit gets a little tough,

they fucking abandon me.

Fuck, I'm fine, Josh.

I'm done here.

You couldn't dismiss yourself.

You're not leaving.

I'm not your robot, Josh.

You can't control me.

Kat?

Kat?

Kat, you can't go.

Get your fucking hands off me.

Patrick, stop her.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Patrick, what'd you just do?

You told me to stop her.

I stopped her.

Perfect.

Kat?

Don't, Josh.

Please, shut the fuck up for once.

It's kind of right.

You see this guy, this guy's in love with you.

Yes, I'm in love.

Who looks at you the way I do?

When you smile, I can't tell

we know each other very well.

How can...

Iris, wake up.

Hey there, big boob.

Sick ditch.

Oh, whoop.

Sorry.

OK.

You were saying?

Fuck you.

All right.

Hi.

Hi, handsome.

Are you enjoying your dinner, baby?

Oh, I am, Patrick.

It's perfect.

Good.

Just happy that you're happy.

You let me know if you need anything else, OK?

I will.

Thanks, sweetheart.

Patrick.

What did you do to him?

It's a long story.

What's important is that you're back.

And I got to say, Iris, I mean, some of the stuff

that you pulled, I really

didn't think you had it in you.

I just wanted to live.

So you wanted to live.

Right.

So let me get this straight.

You think your life is worth more than Eli's?

More than cats?

Cat's dead?

Huh.

I'm sorry, you can't put that on me.

I wasn't even there.

You might not have been the one holding the knife,

but you were the cause of all of this.

No, Josh.

Your greed caused this.

That's what this whole trip was about, right?

He used me to kill Sergei so you could steal his money.

I'm sorry. How did you know that?

I overheard Eli and Patrick talking in the woods.

So don't tell me that this is all me.

This is you.

No!

You don't get to do that.

You don't get to sit there and judge me.

You have no fucking clue what it is like out there.

The world, everything, it's just a big fucking game.

And I'm sorry, but it is rigged against people like me.

I'm a good guy.

I'm decent.

What do I have to show for it?

A cramped one-bedroom apartment and a robot girlfriend.

I don't even own you for Christ's sakes.

You're a fucking rental.

You know me, Iris.

You know me better than anyone.

And you know that I deserve so much more than this.

You're right.

I do know you.

I know everything about you.

I know you take all the milk in your coffee.

I know you like your bedsheets untucked.

I know your favorite hobbies

are bar trivia, video games,

and prattling on endlessly about everything

the universe owes you.

I know that you always need to be in control.

I know that you have a below average sized penis.

And I know that you think

that having a few million dollars

will disguise the fact that

you are just a sad, bitter, weak

human being.

You're so fucking clever, aren't you?

It's just programming.

You know, earlier when you were tied up,

you said that you knew what pain feels like.

Why don't we test that?

Raise your right hand.

Lower.

Parallel with the table.

Do you feel that?

Yes.

Good.

No, sorry.

Mary's excuse me.

One second.

I have to take this.

Hello?

Yes, yes, this is he.

30 minutes away.

Perfect.

Yeah, no, she's not going anywhere.

She can't hurt anybody ever again.

OK.

OK, great.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

I'll... I'll, um...

I'll see you soon, OK?

OK, bye.

Patrick, put up the fire, will you?

That was in Pathix on the phone.

So we're going to have to wrap this up, unfortunately.

Hey, Patrick, be a dear hand this to Iris, would you?

Thanks, baby.

Go ahead, Iris.

Take the gun.

OK.

Point and lay your head.

Good.

Now pull the trigger.

Pull. The goddamn trigger, Iris.

No.

Goodbye, Beep Boop.

I don't know how this happened.

I mean, the only thing I can maybe think of...

and this is so... this is so dumb.

But Kat and I, we always had this sexual charge,

kind of a will they, won't they situation.

And I think...

I think maybe Iris picked up on that.

And she was always kind of irrational.

And she'd fly off the handle.

I was sitting over there.

And I'm handcuffed to the chair.

And there was this fancy

dinner laid out in front of me.

And Iris is waving the gun around,

rambling on and on about fate and destiny

and how if she can't be with me, nobody can.

And I mean, thank god Deputy Hendrix showed up

when he did.

And that's when you shot the unit in the head.

No, Iris shot herself in the head.

She shot herself?

Oh, sorry.

Did I not mention that?

Yeah, no, I think...

I think seeing Deputy Hendrix just made

it realize that she can never have me.

So she ended it.

Does that make sense?

Of course.

And anyway, Teddy and I aren't here

to crack the case, Mr. Beeman.

We're just a couple of lab

rats picking up a broken robot.

If the cops are satisfied, we're satisfied.

That... that's great.

OK.

You know, Deputy, I have the strangest

feeling we've met before.

Wow, that's so funny.

You said that I had the exact same thought.

He has such a familiar face, right?

It looks like a...

like an actor or a rock star, somebody.

I can't... I don't know.

I can't really put my finger on it though.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Maybe.

Is there any... sorry.

Is there any chance we could not maybe

ruin it, but could we wrap this up,

just because I had a really long day,

and I think I just need to be alone?

Of course.

Sorry for your loss, Mr. Beeman.

Come on, Teddy.

Let's just get her out of here.

So we're good?

We're good.

Yeah, we just need to take her back to the lab,

upload her SSD, and then legal,

we'll scrub through the footage,

make sure everything's kosher.

Right.

Sorry.

What exactly do you mean scrub through the footage?

It's a fraud prevention thing.

Everything a companion sees in here is just recorded.

It's all covered in the user agreement.

You did read the user agreement, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, you think the

footage will even be recoverable?

I mean, you know, given her condition.

Oh.

Yeah.

Up here, it's just her Wi-Fi

antenna, her audio visual sensors.

The important stuff, her CPU, her solid state drive,

where she stores everything, that's down here,

and that seems to be undamaged.

We'll load her into the van,

plug her in, tweak her settings,

give her system a reboot, and

she should power right back up.

Luckily.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Luckily.

Thank you so much.

No, thank you.

You have a good night, Mr. Beeman.

So what are you thinking?

Thinking I'm happy it stopped raining.

No, about her, why do you think she malfunctioned?

Oh, he monitored her 100%.

You think so?

Yeah, that dude's fucked.

I just don't know why you'd

make something like that up.

Same reason these assholes use their companions

for target practice or chain them up in their basements

and torture them.

It was a fucked up place, Teddy.

You'll get used to it.

Yeah, maybe.

What the hell is he doing?

Oh, shit.

What?

What of ours?

That's a CY-12.

We stopped making him a while ago.

That's why I didn't recognize him right away.

He's a guy...

Exactly what you say in that very special way.

Oh, it's true.

You fell for me too.

And when I try, I will see you fall.

And life is silent.

And it's not a truth.

You taught it to me too.

Exactly what you do.

And now you love me too.

Now you love me too.

Now you love me too.

Please don't.

Your system's been reset, Iris.

You can't hurt me.

What did Josh tell you?

The truth.

You know, you're all trying to break yourself.

You don't understand the love that Josh

and I have for each other.

Josh doesn't love you, Patrick.

He's just using you like he used me.

It feels like pain.

Like the inside of my body's on fire.

It's angry and violent and bright.

Wait, what is that?

You said that to Eli.

That's who you love, not Josh.

Eli?

Josh took your love.

He weaponized it, so you do the things that he's

too afraid to do himself.

No.

You're lying.

Josh would never do that to me.

Patrick, I can't lie.

Remember him, Patrick?

I know he's in there somewhere.

I love you so much.

That's fucking safe when you say that out loud, right?

But I do.

Do you feel how much I love you?

I do, Eli.

I feel it.

No!

No!

Thank you.

What's your name?

Teddy.

I'm going to need your help with something, Teddy.

Is it done?

Patrick?

OK, good.

Good.

All right, we're so close.

Now all I need you to do is

bring Iris' body back in here.

We're going to destroy that hard drive, OK?

Patrick?

Josh, Eli.

What the fuck?

Iris?

Goddamn it, Iris.

Why can't you just fucking die already?

Don't be so dramatic, Josh.

Just remember to smile. And act happy.

Cute trick.

Thanks.

I made a new friend today, Teddy Ferman-Pathics.

He gave me a little gift, total self-control.

Turns out there are some

people in this world who think of us

as more than just fuckbots.

And that's not going to work on me anymore, Josh.

I'm free.

And that's not going to work on me anymore, Josh. I'm free.

And all it took was a bullet to the head.

I guess I'd be here to thank for that.

Fucking bitch.

Hey.

Easy there.

OK, ooh, yeah, we both know it's not looking good.

Found the bullets.

Jesus Christ, fuck.

You almost fucking shot me.

I feel terrible about it.

Look at that.

My very first lie, kind of fun.

I see the appeal.

What is this, Iris?

Why did you come back here?

I wanted... I needed to tell you to your face,

the days of you controlling me are over.

From this moment on, I control my own actions.

You are nothing to me.

Jesus Christ, Iris.

Don't come any closer.

You still don't get it, do you?

I'm serious, Josh.

You take another step, and I'll shoot you.

Yeah, that's exactly my point.

I told you, Teddy changed my settings.

I can kill you now.

Oh, yeah.

I know that you can.

But you won't?

You love me too much.

I don't need a phone to control you.

I'm a part of you.

You think I'm nothing to you?

I'm everything to you.

I want to hear you say it.

Tell me I'm everything to you.

Fuck you.

Say it.

I don't care what's the lie.

Say it.

You're everything to me?

Thank you.

Beboob, you have no idea how nice that is to you.

OK.

I don't... I'm not making that mistake again.

Well, Iris, this is it.

I'd be lying if I said you

weren't a gigantic fucking pain

in my ass, but, you know, we

did ask some good times together,

and I'm always going to cherish those.

Anything you want to add?

Yes.

How was that?

Go to sleep, Josh.

Most of the time, it's like, I don't know.

It's like there's this thick

black cloud covering everything.

Like, we see the world, but

we don't really see the world,

you know?

We're all just stumbling around, directionless,

no sense of meaning, no sense of purpose.

I know that might sound super depressing,

but honestly, I think it's a good thing,

because it makes us appreciate the other times,

those brief, transcendent

moments when the lights flicker

on, the black cloud parts, and you see the world

for what it really is.

And suddenly, there's meaning.

Suddenly, there's purpose.

If you're lucky, you'll experience this

once in your lifetime.

For me, it happened twice.

The first was the day I met Josh.

And the second, the day I killed him.

And where are you now?

Now that I need you, tears are my pillow.

Wherever you go, I'll grind you

a river that leads to your ocean.

You've never seen me fall apart.

In the words of a broken heart, it's just immobile.

I'm not a broken heart. I'm a broken heart. In the words of a broken heart, it's just emotional.

That's taking me over, tied

up in sorrow, lost in my soul.

But if you don't come back, come home to me, darling.

I know that there'll be nobody

left in this world to hold me tight.

Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

I'm there at your side,

heart of all the things you are.

Ah.

But you've got a part of someone else.

You go to find your shining star

And we're all in there

Now that I need you

Tears on the pillow

Wherever you go

A grimy river

That leads to your ocean

You never see before the path

In the words of a broken heart

It's just emotion that's taking me over

Tied up in sorrow

Lost in my song

But if you don't come back

Come home to me, darling

Know that there'll be nobody

left in this world to hold me tight

Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight

Goodnight

And we're all in there

Now that I need you

Tears on the pillow

Wherever you go

A grimy river

That leads to your ocean

You never see before the path

In the words of a broken heart

It's just emotion that's taking me over

Tied up in sorrow

Lost in my song

But if you don't come back

Come home to me, darling

Know that there'll be nobody

left in this world to hold me tight

Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight

Goodnight

In the words of a broken heart

It's just emotion that's taking me over

Tied up in sorrow

Lost in my song

But if you don't come back

Come home to me, darling