Original subtitles

You ever feel like no matter how hard you try,

it's not good enough?

Kind of like that little bitty-ass scoop of meat

they give you at Chipotle?

Bitch, put some more in my bowl,

and you better not charge me extra.

The quickest way to feel not good enough

is to be somebody else's version of good.

Fuck that shit!

Be good enough for your damn self!

Look, child, people gonna talk shit anyway.

So why not give them something to talk about?

Let's get this fucking show started.

- Terry. - Huh?

Like I told you last night, baby, when we was fucking,

your end need to be higher if it's gonna work.

What you talking about? It's straight.

Daddy, please. I am straighter than that sign.

Oh my God, what y'all been drinking?

That banner's more crooked than Congress.

Wait, are you seriously bringing a megaphone?

You know we gonna be one of two

all-Black families at this graduation.

Can we please not embarrass ourselves?

Screw that, girl. I'ma make some noise

for my damn daughter, okay?

So the fuck am I!

Why you doing that shit?

You know that shit give me flashbacks.

Hey, hold on. Now, why does it say "Jan-L"?

Denise, I thought you said that you had a sign plug.

I do. He already had a sign

for some chick named Jan,

but she was too stupid to show up,

so I told him to slap a L on it,

and he gave it to me for free.

He even gave me this ribbon.

Hey, well, won't be the only L

Janelle took this year.

Boy, what is that shirt? Take that off.

Your sister is the salutatorian of the whole school, son.

Right, so second place.

Out of 400 students-- that's crazy impressive.

You just jealous.

Junebug, they ain't even gonna

mention your ass when you graduate.

The dude on the speaker gonna be like, "Nigga number 399."

You know, I just can't believe

that Niecey is leaving us and going off to college.

Yeah, my little genius gonna fit right in at Howard.

Wait, I thought your little genius was going to Hansberry.

Man, she just applied there to be a safety school.

You know Howard is her dream.

Wait, she got in?

I didn't even know she heard back.

Go ahead, baby sis.

Terry, when are your parents gonna get here?

Well, if my daddy driving, um, any second.

Then if my mama driving, a couple hours.

Uh, my sister almost here too.

I ain't see her ass in years.

And I hate when she comes,

'cause it always reminds me I ain't the rich auntie.

All you got to do is check your bank account.

What's up, family?

I brought presents.

- Auntie, give it. - Wait, wait, wait!

♪ Come on, it's time to go ♪

♪ It's "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪

Brandon, why does it smell like feet

and booty meat in here?

I don't even know what's causing it.

So why am I down here?

Oh, to hide you from your surprise.

They're surprising me?

Oh, shit. You didn't know?

You know what? Let me just tell you.

- I just-- - No, no, don't tell me.

I still want to be surprised, damn.

Wait, why do you have a passport?

You never leave the house, let alone the country.

Well, uh, that's my little secret.

Hey, do you, um, want to trade secrets?

Coochie gang swear?

Coochie gang swear.

both: Coochie gang.

- All right, go. - All right.

So, um, I'm going to Atlanta.

Atlanta?

But why? We were just there.

Wait, you don't think you need a passport to get into Georgia?

Atlanta has an international airport, Janelle.

Everybody knows you need a passport

if you want to fly international.

I can tell you came from the generation before bike helmets.

I'm gonna go see my dad, Lloyd.

Found out that I'm a match, so I'ma give him a kidney.

Oh, my God.

Brandon, what the hell?

I know. It's crazy.

Why would you do that?

You know Ma's gonna kill you, right?

Well, I was gonna lie and just say

I was going to go get a BBL,

but I didn't want to explain myself,

you know, when I got back and my ass wasn't fat.

So you're not just gonna tell anybody?

Nope. I'ma take off

soon as your graduation's over.

While everybody's distracted with dinner, I am out.

Well, does Lloyd know you're coming?

No, but his new wife Shatoya knows.

As long as you go through all the pros and cons.

Well, Lloyd is a con.

See, that--that's my point.

Lloyd only exists in this family as a punchline.

I'm old enough to make up my own decisions

about my own father.

I'm just tired of everybody treating me

like I'm not a grown man.

No, I feel that.

I mean, I'm tired of everyone treating me

like I'm not just a kid.

Ain't nobody told you to be right your whole life.

You should've sprinkled in some stupid like me and Junebug.

But no, you just had to be top of your class,

off to Howard.

Yeah, so about that.

Um, I didn't get in.

What?

You've been lying this whole time?

Well, everyone was so excited,

I just--I went along with it.

But I should have gotten in.

I mean, my grades are great.

My scores are great--

Yeah, and you're Black.

Just--they said there wasn't enough "space" for me.

And here I was thinking

I was gonna be the next Auntie Lisa.

I mean, she has everything I want.

She's a lawyer.

She's happy.

She's childless.

Facts. Yeah, she gonna be

real disappointed in your ass, for real.

Thanks. That's very helpful.

Y'all kids down there?

Ooh, act natural, okay?

Uh, we just gonna be dancing, all right?

Go, go, go, go, go.

Oh.

Hey!

- Go, Brandon. Go-- - Brandon, go.

I need to talk to you.

Janelle.

I know Junebug bothering you about your rank,

but don't let his rank-ass bother you.

I mean, four years chasing number one.

Being number two kind of feels like being number two.

Girl, number two just means you the shit.

And I'd rather be the shit any day than be the piss.

Thanks, Mom. Very inspirational?

You worked so hard for this.

Before you became one, I didn't even know

what a damn "solitude-atary" was.

You still don't.

Shut the hell up.

You always teaching me something.

That's what I'ma miss about you when you go off to college.

Attention, bitches.

Get your asses upstairs and in the car for the graduation.

She's gonna embarrass us all day, isn't she?

Just pretend you don't know that bitch.

Just a few more steps, baby girl.

Just a few more steps.

And three, two--

all: Go Bison!

- Come on. - Y'all--

y'all really, really shouldn't have done all this.

"Con-grad-ulations," baby!

You like that?

I made that shit up on the way over here.

Ooh, you should have seen how proud he was of himself, too.

See, it's a combination of "congratulations"

and "graduation," you dig?

- Yeah, I dig it. - Baby, baby, baby, baby.

They got it. They got it.

Is that the best niece in the world?

Ah! Ah, excuse me.

Is that the second-born best niece in the world?

Oh, Auntie, I'm so glad you could make it.

Oh, please.

I wasn't gonna miss this for nothing.

My baby girl is about to be a Bison!

And her mama was a cow--

mascot for GED.

both: You know!

Moo!

Yeah, "you know" you barely made it through that GED, Ma.

Ashley, shut the hell up.

How could I damn study with you crying

and shitting all over the place?

- I got you something special. - Ooh.

This has been worn

by generations of women in our family

who went to Howard.

You are wearing history, baby.

That's crazy. She look just like you did

when you was in college, Lisa.

That's right.

I hope you washed that weed smell up out of it.

I don't know what you're talking about.

- Mm-hmm. - That's because you smoked

your memory away.

Lies. The only thing I've ever smoked

- is sweet Jesus. - Amen.

Sound like a good strain.

Ah! Stop it!

Damn it, Junebug, stop busting in your sister face!

Pat, don't say that no more.

You were always the funny one.

I'd much rather be the money one.

Well, God did what he saw fit.

Okay, Auntie Lisa, maybe you could call

one of your friends in admissions to help Janelle

get that good-good housing.

Ooh, that would be good, because Janelle gonna need

all the help she can get, what with her mama

being a struggling artist and all.

Struggling?

The only thing I'm struggling with

is not to fart in your face.

Saying things like that is why

that Chris Rock boy got slapped.

Well, who the fuck gonna slap me?

All right, come on.

You know what? Um, Auntie,

I really don't need you to do anything.

I have everything under control.

You don't have to call admissions.

Yeah, that's right, Lisa.

See? She don't even need you.

I'm gonna call.

Siri, call Howard.

Siri, call Howard's admissions office.

Siri, ignore her ass and call Howard,

who works at Howard admissions office--

No, just stop, please!

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Why the hell you slap her phone down like that?

Damn, girl, you know I'm between cases right now.

Janelle, what's going on with you?

Just give me a freaking second, please.

Who's she talking to?

"Freaking" is one step away from "fucking."

What's going on in here?

Why everybody look so mad?

Oh, Janelle, did you tell them

that you didn't get into Howard?

What?

Yeah, I said the same thing when I found out.

Say what?

Now that's a plot twist.

Janelle, what is Brandon talking about?

Well, um, you see, what-- what happened was...

- Uh-huh. - I, um--

Brandon's giving Lloyd a kidney!

- What? - Brandon, what the hell

- is Janelle talking about? - Come on, Janelle!

Brandon, please tell me she's lying.

Janelle, baby, you're gonna miss your graduation!

Good! I'm not going!

Oh, Lord. It's moments like these

- she need her favorite auntie. - She most certainly does.

- Excuse me. - Sit down, Lisa.

- No, you sit down. - Brandon, what the fuck

is she talking about, you gonna give Lloyd a damn kidney?

Oh, I done heard kidney. Go ahead on.

Now what's going on? I wanna hear this my damn self.

God!

You just like busting, don't you?

Sorry, Grandma.

Can't believe you went and got tested.

My kids ain't giving nobody no damn kidney.

He better go get one out of a Cracker Jack box.

But I want to give it to him, Mom.

You not giving that no-good-ass nigga my kidney.

I'm not. I'm giving him my kidney.

Nigga, you know that's my kidney.

You know how many sodas I drink.

I'ma need that shit.

I got two kidneys, Mom.

You can just have the other one.

You have really failed this boy, Pat.

Clearly he is not of sound mind to make this decision--

or any decision, for that matter.

If--if I may, I just want to say that any man,

and even somebody who's been a monster,

has the ability to grow and truly change.

If I may, we're talking about the asshole that knocked me up

when I was 13 years old, abandoned all of his damn kids,

and shot me in the back of my fucking head.

I'm gonna mind my own business.

You'll fit in just fine around here, Pop.

Well, he's right, though.

It seems as though Brandon wants

to give Lloyd a chance at redemption,

the way you did, Terry.

Yeah, and redemption is powerful.

The Lord knows that I am grateful for a second chance.

And I'll be grateful if y'all mind y'all gotdamn business.

Damn.

And, Brandon, you ain't giving

that nigga no damn kidney.

If you want to give up your kidney,

we can sell it on the black market

so you can get you a fucking apartment.

But it ain't up to you, Ma.

- Dad. - Huh?

You've forgiven Major and gave him a second chance.

Why can't I do the same thing for Lloyd?

He's about to have a new child and try to start a new life.

I mean, I feel like I can provide that for him.

It's true. I didn't think of it like that.

And look, to be honest, this is my body,

and this is what I decide to do.

I thought we knew how important that was around here.

Oh, my God, Brandon done made sense

twice in a row. Y'all aint--

y'all ain't scared?

You know what? It sound like

you trying to give him more than just a kidney.

It sounds like you trying to give him your damn heart.

And take it from me, he don't give a fuck.

Look, I'm sorry, Ma. I just don't believe that.

Okay? I'm just trying to do what's right.

Well, go ahead.

Give him your little bloody-ass kidney.

But don't be surprised when he stomp all on that shit.

Yup, 'cause that's all he knows how to do.

Mm-hmm. He gonna A-Town Stomp on that shit.

Kick, kick, stomp!

Yeah, that's your heart, Brandon.

You don't give a damn, I don't give a fuck, okay?

Remember that shit, Brandon!

Look! Look, Brandon! Kick, kick, stomp!

All right, all right, all right!

Just stop that. I'll let it go.

You don't like how I dance?

Nah, you giving me motion sickness.

So you gonna drop this?

Yeah, I'll drop it.

Good.

Oh, ain't God good?

Okay, so now we can leave Lloyd where the fuck he's at

and get back to this graduation party, please!

Hey, hey, turn up!

Ha! Yeah!

I just can't believe Janelle would lie like that.

I mean, I didn't pressure her too much, did I?

Well, you laid it on pretty thick, Lisa.

- Really? - Yeah.

I mean, all I did was give her a few hats, a sweatshirt,

a school flag, some bedsheets, a Christmas card,

and a handmade sweater that's been worn for generations.

I mean--oh, shit.

Hey, what we gonna do about Brandon?

Personally, I don't think we should stop it.

You want him to grow up, right?

- Be a man? - Yes, sir.

I think it's time that he made his own man decisions.

Brandon's just searching for peace.

Takes some men their entire lives.

Peace shouldn't involve him having

to give up an organ, Mama.

I mean, we all searching for something, right, Ma?

I'm still searching for a new husband.

Lisa, you just got married last year.

Oh, Ma, that was over eight months ago.

I ain't tell y'all that?

- No, you didn't. - No.

And I liked Malik.

He sucked his thumb after sex.

Anybody want a beer or something?

- Yes. - Yeah, yeah, amen, amen.

I'll go with you so I can talk with Janelle.

She didn't want to talk earlier.

This generation don't know shit about raising kids.

- And that's all there is to it. - Mm-mm.

- You know I hate to say it. - Go ahead and say it.

At the end of the day,

we are just better parents than Terry and Pat.

And that's all there is to it.

By the way, do you know if Terry called his father yet?

You mean the one my perfect parents didn't tell me about?

No, I didn't. And to be honest, uh,

after all that time, I don't know if I want to.

Well, you just do what your heart tells you, Terry.

Some people choose anger because it's familiar.

But if you open yourself up to something different,

it's gonna hurt, but it just might heal you, baby.

She's right.

And you know I don't think that

that man is worth a bucket of pig shit.

Well, at the least, don't throw the number away.

Just hold onto that for when your ass need a kidney.

Go away!

Come on. You can talk to me about anything.

- I ain't mad. - Stop.

Come on.

You swear?

Shit, fuck, damn, ass.

That's all I do is swear.

I'm sorry I waited so long to tell everybody.

I was just embarrassed.

Yeah, that's understandable.

I mean, you ruined the whole legacy in just one swoop.

Ugh. I mean, yikes.

What? She did.

Get the hell out.

See? That's the problem with Black families.

We always running from the truth.

You did get into Hansberry, right?

That was real?

Hansberry?

Is great!

That's what I always say.

What a school. I mean,

it's really a--a school.

Yeah, it is.

But I wanted to follow in your footsteps.

I mean, you and Grandma always made it seem like I had to,

because "Bison women are the best women."

Honey, Howard was my dream, my legacy.

You can create one of your own, Janelle--

even if it is at Hansberry.

Like I always say, go where they fuck with you at.

I totally agree.

Why do you think I had six husbands in 20 years?

See? She went where they fucked her at.

Wow. O-okay.

I'm proud of whatever you do.

You finished high school. Girl, we good.

You promise?

Yes. I-I know you, Janelle.

You'll always be okay, no matter what.

Plus, look how much money I've made

from not knowing how to spell.

I'ma leave you two alone.

Why didn't you let anybody know what was going on?

You never ask for help.

Because I can't, Ma.

I mean, y'all expect so much from me.

You literally just said,

"Janelle's gonna be good, no matter what."

Yeah, but that don't mean you gotta be perfect.

It feels like that.

I mean, Brandon and Junebug, they mess up, like, hourly.

And we just laugh.

But it's not funny when I do.

I mean, y'all all expect me to have everything under control.

Shit, I didn't even think about that.

That's a lot of pressure on your ass.

It's just...

when I'm the one everyone's counting on,

it makes me feel like I have no one to catch me when I fall.

Well, then you're not looking hard enough,

'cause I'm always here to catch you.

You're not heavy.

I can't believe I missed my own graduation.

Girl, please. You ain't missed shit.

We throwing you your own little personal graduation downstairs.

Wait, really? They didn't leave yet?

Man, you know ain't nobody gonna damn leave.

Niggas don't leave till the food come out.

- That's true. - I'm proud of you,

my lil' Hansberry.

Thanks, Mama.

You gonna pay me back for all that shit I bought,

you lying motherfucker.

Here she come! Here she come! Here she come!

That's my niece!

Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together again

for the one and only graduate this year,

Ms. Janelle Carson!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

There she is!

Ms. Graduate, would you like

to say a few words into the microphone?

A few words into the microphone.

She didn't get them jokes from her mama.

- Here you go, sis. - What?

You made me a diploma?

Yeah, and I put a picture of a cute cat on there

'cause I know you like cute cats.

Aww, thanks.

Even though you can't keep a secret to save your life.

You gonna say that with a straight face

while blowing up my spot?

You know you can't hold water.

Well, you know you need your kidneys for that.

Why don't you just mind your own business?

Ooh, so much anger lately, Brandon.

You might want to take a look at that.

- Oh, you want to go there? - We can.

Hey, Medicaid kids! You not gonna fuck up

my Blue Cross Blue Shield kid's event, okay?

- Terry, ain't you the damn MC? - Yeah.

Handle these niggas.

Janelle, um, we just want to say

that even though you came in second place at school,

you're always valedictorian in this house.

- That's right. - Yeah?

- Thank you. - That's right.

You know who idea this was, to do all of this shit?

Junebug's!

- What? - See?

I'm not all that bad.

Aww.

So look, we rented a karaoke machine,

and your daddy's just got the meat off the grill.

Fuck that fancy graduation, baby.

We gonna have a party in the backyard.

- Let's get lit! - Yeah!

I'ma go upstairs and get my phone

so I can take some pictures.

Hey, uh, Auntie, can you do me a solid

and take me to the airport, like, right now?

Hell no, I ain't taking you to no damn airport.

This your sister's graduation.

And, Brandon, I thought you gave up

on all that kidney mess.

Come on, please, Auntie?

It is the strangest thing.

I've been looking around all day for my keys,

and I can't find them.

What?

Auntie, they right here.

Allegedly.

They literally say "Denise's keys."

That don't prove shit.

Know what? Thanks a lot.

I'll just take a Uber to the airport then.

I knew you were bullshitting.

You are not doing this.

Hey, everybody, let's take the party out to the backyard!

Come on, y'all, now, come on.

Come on, give me back my phone.

You know what? That's fine.

I'm just gonna hitchhike to the airport.

Won't it be hard to travel without your suitcase?

Oh, my gosh, Ashley, give it a rest, okay?

I'm going to save our father--

Your father.

Our father, and give him a kidney, all right?

And I don't care what any of y'all think.

Now let go of my suitcase and give me back my damn phone!

Boy, you do not scare me.

Come get it.

Be careful, Brandon.

You know she got that lesbian strength.

I'm coming.

What the fuck do Trina want?

Hello? Before you ask,

no, you cannot paint my mama room

pussy pink and booty-hole brown.

Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. One more time.

What did you just say?

Are you serious?

Oh, my God.

Look, just think

about this nonsense for a second, please.

Yeah, Brandon, you told your mama you would stay.

I lied.

You can't go.

I can't let you do this.

Ashley, you're not letting me do anything.

This is my decision.

Now, when you decided that you didn't want to save Lloyd,

did I give you any grief?

No. Even though I know you being a selfish--

What?

Have you even talked to Lloyd,

or are you just going with whatever

his latest victim is saying?

We don't even know Shatoya like that.

She could be making all this shit up.

Well, now, that is true.

You could wake up on ice in Lloyd's bathtub

missing your kidneys, you know?

And meanwhile, they done picked up and moved to Mexico,

running a lil' bed and breakfast,

serving up kidney kebabs and shit like that.

All he's ever done is lie, cheat, and use people.

And whether you want to face it or not, he's using you too.

Listen, I'm gonna miss my flight, so just give me back

my phone and my bag so I can get up out of here.

Nah, I hope you do miss that flight.

Shit, let him ask one of his other kids.

There's probably dozens of them out there.

And what if they can't do it, Ash?

What then?

Then he dies.

So be it.

He dies?

So be it? Ashley, how can you say

- something like that to me? - Boy, if you don't back

- the fuck up off of me. - Hey, hey, hey!

Y'all, stop this.

Now, I just got my nails done, and I can't be

breaking 'em off in asses today, please!

Terry. Terry!

Hey, hey, Denise, what's up?

Hey, hey. Y'all knock that off now.

Yeah, tell her to give back my fucking phone.

Hey, watch how you talk to your sister, son.

Why you got the man phone? Give it back, Ashley.

Okay, well, let me go ahead on

and give you your wallet too.

Look, I'll just let y'all know when I land, all right?

Hold on, Brandon. Wait up.

I can't believe you trying to sneak out.

Oh, my gosh, ain't nobody trying to sneak out.

I'm leaving. End of discussion.

Y'all been trying to stop me all day.

I'm going to save my father's life.

So just drop it. That's it.

Brandon...

Lloyd is dead.

What?

That's low, Ma.

That's real low, even for you.

But I'm telling you the truth.

No, you not. You lying.

He ain't dead.

Brandon, you know I wouldn't play like that.

Yeah, but you are!

You're just saying some shit to fuck with me, so just stop!

Brandon, watch how you talk to your mama, son.

Tell her to stop lying. This shit's not funny.

I'm not lying to you. Trina just called me

and told me he's gone.

Wow.

Wow?

That's all you gonna say, Ashley?

That's all you gonna fucking say?

She's got to process her feelings too, Brandon--

No, she don't.

She wanted this to happen.

Are you happy now?

You got what you wanted.

I could have saved him, but you wouldn't get out my way.

- You wanted him dead. - That's not fair, Brandon.

Yes, it is, 'cause that's exactly what she said.

I never said I wanted him dead.

Ashley, you wouldn't even get tested.

You wouldn't even give him a chance.

It--it wouldn't have mattered.

There's nothing anyone could have done.

He was dead before you even left the house!

Yes, because of you!

No, you don't mean that, son.

Yes, I do! Y'all, please

stop telling me how I should feel.

Y'all always telling me how I should feel.

You won't even let me have

my own feelings about my own father.

You wouldn't even let me want him to live!

I never once told you how to feel about Lloyd.

I just didn't want you going down there,

slicing yourself open for that man!

Well, guess what, Ash? He dead!

Just like how y'all wanted!

I'm just the butt of everybody jokes, huh?

But I never give anybody any problems.

I always hold secrets. I always spare feelings.

Yet y'all walk all over me.

And I don't say shit about it, because I love y'all.

All I just wanted was something just for me, just for one day.

Just one day, and y'all wouldn't even let me have that.

You know what hurts even worse, Ashley?

You ain't even give a shit about how I felt.

You're so fucking selfish. I hate you.

You couldn't save him, so now you--you hate me?

'Cause I'm not gonna sit here and rewrite history

on Lloyd's behalf, now you hate me?

Someone who actually cares about you,

someone who's been taking care of you when Lloyd was

- nowhere to be found? - Don't!

You hate me? Be fucking for real, Brandon!

No, you be fucking for real!

How you gonna deprive his child

of the very same thing that we never had?

You fucked-up, you know that?

And you a bullshit-ass therapist too.

Always talking about everybody else's trauma and shit,

but you ain't never touched none of your own.

- So fuck you, Ash! - No, fuck you!

- Nah, fuck you! - Now, hold on--

- You are literally-- - Fuck you!

Fuck you! You are literally yelling

at the one person who has always had your back.

Always! And over Lloyd, of all fucking people!

- Oh, Ashley! - Are you serious?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Baby, come on, now.

- Ashley! - Fuck you and fuck this!

- No, no, Ashley-- - Yeah, get up out his house!

- Ashley! - Ashley, don't run.

- Come on, now! - Nah, Pop, let her go!

- Ashley! - Let her go!

- Shut the fuck up! - You shut the fuck up

- and get up out of here, Ash! - Oh!

Get the fuck up out of here, Ash!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

- Brandon, son, please! - Brandon!

- Get up out of here, Ash! - Please, son!

- Come on, now! - Brandon!

She didn't give him a chance, Mom!

Brandon! Brandon!

She didn't give him a chance, Mom.

Brandon.

Nah, get off me. Get off me.

- Please, son, come on, now-- - Nah, Pop, I'm out, I'm out.

I'm out.

- ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And she don't take no stuff ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And you can't get enough ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ With a husband and kids ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And it's "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪