Original subtitles

Y'all ever notice how hard it is

to admit that you're wrong?

Try to apologize right now and see how it comes out.

Look at your neighbor and say, "Neighbor..."

all: Neighbor...

"I'm a horrible person."

all: I'm a horrible person.

It feel like shit, don't it?

That's why instead of admitting that you wrong,

you'd rather go around your ass just to get to your elbow.

Doing all this extra shit to prove

that you ain't who they say you are.

And I, for one, think that I'm the best damn mama

that ever been a damn mama...

sometimes.

There we go, team.

The RV all packed?

Yeah, no thanks to you.

How the biggest nigga in the room ain't gonna help?

You did.

You better be glad I love your Black ass.

Uh-uh, girl, I love your Black ass, too.

How is you out of breath walking from the curb?

Lugging your heavy-ass luggage.

What you got in there, a dead body?

Now, if I'd tell you, you'd be an accomplice.

You know what's funny is how little

you two helped pack the RV.

I would have just slowed y'all down.

Y'all used to manual labor.

And, Bug, you destined for it.

Oh, that's funny coming from somebody

who carried her last relationship.

It's better than getting tricked

into watching bastard babies that ain't mine.

You was a bastard before you met my daddy.

Hey, whoa, whoa. Whoa.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, y'all,

now, we can just save the insults for later.

All right? Damn.

But yeah, we got to hit this road

so we can get into Atlanta for your mama's show, okay?

- Janelle, come on! - It's time to go!

You know, I am so excited about taking

another family trip to support you, Pat.

But, T, you got that RV at the last minute.

I know it was expensive.

No, I got that baby at 60% off.

How the heck did you do that?

Got it at a police auction.

No wonder it look like death.

No, baby, that thing ride smooth, you know?

You just got to avoid the blood stains in the back.

Janelle, we got to go!

Why you got on them Mary J. Blige glasses?

'Cause I'm not gon' cry.

Hey, well, at least she's not being overdramatic.

* Come on, it's time to go *

* It's "The Ms. Pat Show" *

* *

Uh, y-you looking a little tired over there, Pop.

What do you say I-- I take over the driving duties?

Oh, let me think about it.

And...I'm thinking about it,

and I've thought about it, and...

that's a no.

All right.

You're right.

Guess I should just let you drift off to sleep

and drive us into a fiery grave.

Boy, the most you drove for your whole life

is down the driveway, and you took out our mailbox.

It's a no.

- So... - You win, I'm fading.

I'ma let you drive, okay?

Yes.

But you ain't been to sleep yet,

so I'm gonna need you to drink two big cups of coffee first.

But, Dad, I don't drink coffee.

And plus, I stay up way later than this every night.

You do? Doing what?

Studying hard.

You studying hard, all right.

I ain't never seen nobody go

through Costco lotion that fast.

Uh--

Could somebody take the wheel, please?

If Jesus is unavailable, anybody will do.

Yep, I got you, Junebug.

Oh.

Ah, ah, ah!

Ow! Agh!

God!

You are always finding ways to be a suffocating parent.

- Lil' girl! - Pat.

All right, um, I'm gonna need

everybody to buckle up, please.

I gotta pull over with the quickness.

Why? What happened?

Oh, let's just say I got a dark biscuit

about to come out my oven from all the coffee I drank.

Who the hell gave Junebug coffee?

Who the hell let him drive?

Janelle could have done better than that.

Oh, she really ain't talking to you, huh?

Nah, with her nasty-ass.

I'll pull her eyes out.

It could always be worse.

How, Denise?

I don't know. I ain't thought that far yet.

God damn, what is that?

It smell like somebody dead on the inside.

Ooh. That's the outside.

Ooh!

Ooh-hoo-hoo.

I think the toilet's out of order, y'all.

So don't nobody go back in there

for another 35 to 45 minutes.

Well, it is out of order now.

So suddenly we stuck in an RV full of shit fumes?

This look like "Fear Factor" to you?

How much longer do we have to go?

Oh, uh, about that.

Um, earlier, I accidentally got some coffee on the GPS,

and I made a few wrong turns.

But hey, the good news is, we in Atlanta, y'all.

Well, this don't look like no Atlanta to me.

No, it's definitely Atlanta.

Atlanta, Ohio.

- What? - Damn, Junebug.

How many hours are we behind now?

Oh, just a few.

What's a few?

- Eight. - Oh!

- God. - God.

- Man. - But hey, look,

on the bright side, didn't y'all say

how you wanted to see Ohio?

Nigga, who said that?

Hey, Mama, can I have some money for some snacks?

Boy, get off my titty. Why you asking me for money?

- Ain't you a teacher now? - Say that again.

- Ain't you a teacher now? - Exactly.

Now, you know teachers don't make no damn money.

But I'd never beg like that. That's a damn shame.

You a grown-ass man, Brandon.

You a grown-ass man, Denise.

Don't worry about them, baby.

I'll give you the world.

I want you to give me 3 feet

before you give me hepatitis C.

Hey, what is going on with you and Ma?

It's like "Baddies South" in the RV.

She overreacted to nothing.

Then she slapped me and called me a ho.

Oh, Janelle.

That's it?

What do you mean, that's it?

Compared to the stuff she did to me and Brandon,

she's been deliver't.

But look, I'm still sorry that happened to you.

She shouldn't have done it.

Y'all need to talk.

It is meaningless to engage with that woman...

until she repents for her reprehensible behavior.

I don't think she heard you.

Just the way she looked at me, Ash.

You got change?

I don't keep change on me.

Lying-ass.

- What's that? - God bless you.

Look, I'm glad you've learned to hold

whoever hurt you accountable, even if it's your mother.

I'm proud of you.

Thanks, Ash.

Hey, Pat-Pat, let me get some of them SweeTarts.

I bought these SweeTarts for my sweetheart, Janelle.

Bought 'em for myself any-damn-way!

Ungrateful-ass kids.

I'll take it.

Take a job. Take a career.

Take the fuck up out my face!

Girl, let's go!

What are you wearing?

Oh, man, I spilled some slushy on myself,

and I had to change.

Thought the hat was a nice touch.

You like it?

What'd they pump you with, stupid?

You know, you could have just washed your clothes.

Ah, damn, left my phone next to the horny honey packs.

What do you need honey packs for?

This is a family trip.

Hey, where is he going?

He left his phone.

Nah, it's in the RV.

Come on, y'all, we gotta make up for lost time!

Oh, Dad, speaking of which,

uh, think I can take the wheel again?

Nah, nah. See, I think this vacation

would be a lot more fun if my family was not dead

when we get there.

Hey, Pat.

Why don't you just go apologize to Janelle?

You know what?

You right.

Well, damn, now you owe me an apology.

Hey, so I know this seat is hard,

so I brought you a pillow.

Is this pillow for the back I'm always laying on

or to prop up the legs I always have open?

Ooh.

I told you that pillow wasn't gonna cut it.

Oh. Now, see, that was called a duck, Janelle.

That's what you should have done.

Let me see if Brandon want any snacks.

Brandon.

Who the fuck are you?

Who the fuck are you?

Man, where's my brother?

You got three seconds to tell me where my son is.

That ain't him right there?

This dude must have picked up his clothes.

Then where the hell is Brandon?

all: Damn!

Man, we're never getting to Atlanta.

I don't eat this shit.

Brandon, sit your ass down.

My fault.

Auntie Denise, can I drive?

No, you don't understand the rules of the road.

Yes, I do. I got a license.

That's for the white man's rules of the road--

stop signs, speed limits.

That's that shit to slow Black people down.

Damn, why it so hot back here?

Oh, wow, I didn't know the devil got hot.

Junebug, can you turn on the AC, please?

Dang it, my game died.

Brandon, do not plug that in.

Wait till everyone's phones are done charging.

- Why? - Because that's the only

working socket, and there are ten things plugged in already.

Man, my little game ain't gonna mess nothing up.

See? Leave the technology to me,

and you just worry about feelings.

Maybe I'm not as dumb as you think.

Oh!

Shit!

Wow. You right.

Yo' ass dumber than that.

I told you not to let me do that.

Janelle, go wake your daddy up

so he can see if he can fix that.

Nah, you can get somebody else to do it.

The funny part is, you think I'm asking.

Go wake your goddamn daddy up.

Oh, boo-boo, I tried to be nice.

I bought your ass some snacks.

I got your ass a pillow, okay?

I've been ignoring all that bullshit

you've been doing today, but what you not gon' do

is keep fucking trying me, okay,

acting like an ungrateful-ass bitch!

Well, if I'm a bitch,

then I guess we're both like our mothers.

Oh, heffa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Hey, hey! - I'll kick your ass!

We don't need no more blood on this carpet.

Oh! Oh!

- What the fuck? - Auntie!

Who the fuck driving?

- Auntie! - Shit! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Junebug, if you don't stop swerving this damn RV.

I think the inside tire is punctured.

It needs to be replaced.

Well, replace it then, Terry.

There isn't a spare, Pat.

Where's the nearest tire shop?

It's 2 miles away.

Oh, well, that's not far at all.

We'll be back on the road in no time.

Sorry, y'all, it's 20 miles away.

- Ooh! - Man, and it's closed?

- What? - I'm sorry, okay?

Look, sorry, I had some slush on the zero.

There's no tire shops nearby.

Ooh, but there is a resort that we could stay at for the night.

It's five-star reviews, and it's only a mile away.

We can make that drive.

Good job, Brandon.

See, I'm nice to nice people.

Well, hold up, hold up.

Before y'all get too excited,

this ain't no Holiday Inn Express, is it?

No. Why?

They be tripping.

You steal one treadmill and two TVs, they ban you for life.

Why the hell would you steal a treadmill?

For your mom and daddy.

Oh, oh. Oh.

I'll never do it again, I tell you that.

Is this an Amish hotel?

* Swing low sweet chariot *

all: * Coming for to carry me home *

* Swing low sweet chariot *

* Coming for to carry me home *

Yeah, I don't think this is an Amish hotel.

What is this place?

Well, hello there, travelers.

Welcome.

Why are y'all singing Negro spirituals?

Well--

- Wow. - Oh!

Welcome.

I am the owner, Owen Jefferson.

I can't tell you how thrilled I am to host a B--

a family such as yours for the very first time.

Nice to meet you, Owen.

Owen, I got two questions.

What the fuck and what the hell?

All in due time.

Can I interest you fine people in some sweet tea?

Mmm, this taste pretty good. What type of tea is this?

It's a black tea...

Grown on-site and sweetened with honey from our bees.

Master! Master!

Spit that shit out.

Now, is this some type of Fifty Shades of Gay hotel?

No, no.

We're nothing weird like that.

We are bringing America's horrible past

to its complicated present.

Master, please, don't let him take me.

- Shut up. - Please, Master.

I promise I won't read again.

I said shut up, cracker.

Damn. I ain't even white, and I felt that shit.

Brandon, what in the devil kind of antebellum mess

you done got us into, boy?

Look, I read the reviews, okay?

Online, it said it was a five-star

historically authentic Southern experien...

oh.

Let me see that.

You booked us at a reparation resort?

- Nigga, how? - We prefer to say "N-word."

What, nigga?

Ah, at this hotel,

we reenact the horrors of enslavement.

Why are you doing this neoliberal nonsense?

To teach people.

Critical race theory is being taken out of schools,

and I just felt like I had to do something,

being a descendant of Thomas Jefferson myself.

He rape your grandma, too?

And I understand how some of my white brothers and sisters

are complicit in upholding white supremacy.

Some? Don't you mean all?

I mean, not all white people are white supremacists,

but all of y'all benefit from the country it was built on.

It's the accuracy for me, sis.

That is why I asked my parents

for a small loan to start this place.

Just $3 million later, and here we are.

3 million? You could have donated that

to the United Negro College Fund.

Eh...nah.

Okay, but why the white slaves?

I would never enslave Black people,

even as a reenactment.

I chose to teach my white brothers and sisters

about the horrors of colorism

by making the blondes house slaves

and the redheads and brunettes field hands.

Oh, you really need yo' ass beat.

Yeah, I'm ready to go. Screw 12 years of slavery.

12 minutes is too much for me.

You are more than welcome to leave.

You are free.

But the stay is nonrefundable.

Okay, so we can't even get reparations

at a resort called the Reparations Resort?

Well, we-- we barely got here, all right?

You know, we couldn't leave here tonight,

even if we wanted to.

Splendid, splendid.

Willie Mae will show you to your rooms.

Willie Mae!

Okay, I'm not staying here. I'll be in the RV.

Hey, you can't stay in the RV.

I'll stay out there with you.

I'd rather sleep in the cotton fields

than stay anywhere with you.

I'm trying to apologize for calling you a bitch,

but you just keep proving me right!

Wow.

Really nice, Ma. Really nice.

Denise, would you please go check on Janelle, please?

Fine.

I will go check on Janelle in the RV.

Um, hey, sir, can I get a sweet tea

and one of these white slaves to go?

Can you stop wiggling? I'm trying to go to sleep.

Well, unless you decide that you going back inside

so I can get waited on by an apologetic colonizer,

you gon' deal with it.

Now here, take your mama's pillow.

Ew. You can have that.

Damn, girl, how long are you gonna stay mad at your mama?

Don't tell me you taking her side.

Have you seen how she's been treating me?

Yeah, and she ain't right.

But you got to understand the woman that raised us.

I mean, Pat could be much worse, trust me.

I don't see the difference.

You weren't there.

It is each generation's job

to not do the same messed-up stuff,

to do better.

And you can't do better

holding onto what she did to you,

which is exactly what she does with our mama.

And now look where we are.

I'm not like her.

And she doesn't want you to be.

At least Pat does try

to be better for y'all.

That's the difference.

But that doesn't mean you can't tell her

when she's in the wrong.

So you saying nobody holds her ass accountable?

Exactly.

I'm not gonna give her a gold medal

for hitting me once

just because your mom hit y'all every day.

Mm-mm, it was every Saturday.

The point is, I can't wait to go to college

so I never have to see or speak to her again.

* *

Ahh.

This is the life.

Yeah, it is, but it's--

it's missing something, though.

Um, hey, Solomon.

You know how to play "Lean wit It, Rock wit It"?

both: * Uh-uh-uh, uh-uh-uh *

* Rock left right snap *

* *

Ugh. What the hell is this?

Your sweet tea, sir.

No, no, no, no, no. I asked for iced tea.

And the ice ain't icing. Get me another.

Yeah, and while you're at it,

there's too much mint in my julep, so fix it.

Yes, sir. I'll get right on that.

Your drinks is on the wa--

ahh!

No, sir!

No, sir, not Solomon!

Solomon my last boy.

Please, sir, don't sell him!

Why the hell is she talking like that?

The deal's already been made.

Ohh!

So where we at on that mint julep?

All my life I had to fight.

Oh, hell no.

I dream that one day

I will be unbought and unbossed,

that I can take these shackles off my feet

and dance to the song of my son's violin.

Now she colonizing Mary Mary lyrics?

Ain't I a woman?

A phenomenal woman?

both: Boo! Boo!

Get off the stage, Maya Anglo-Saxon!

You must be punished for riling up the slaves

with Northern sentiments.

Oh! Is there gonna be a whipping?

Man, what's wrong with you? Don't record this shit.

How dare you knock the phone out of my hand?

How dare you?

We are here trying to do the work.

Yes, I bet you haven't

even read "Between the World and Me."

Have you read Between My Foot and Your Ass, huh?

- Oh! - What?

Ooh, ooh! Ooh, ooh!

Manager! Manager!

What's up?

Don't be angry with me because you refuse

to apologize to your own daughter.

First of all, I already tried to talk to that knucklehead.

She's not listening.

And you won't apologize.

You're saying, "I'm ready to move on, so you should be too."

That is not the same as "I'm sorry."

You know, this generation is too damn sensitive now.

My mama never apologized to me, and I'm okay.

Are you?

Ooh, you in trouble now.

Terry, don't come in here and lecture me, please.

No, I'm not gonna lecture you, baby.

Sound like a real lecture egg and cheese to me.

Major used to speak to me

the same way you've been speaking to Janelle.

Now, he had a way of talking at me, not to me,

and after a while, I ain't want to be around for all that.

So when it was time for me to leave the house,

I never looked back.

You don't want to scare her off, baby.

I'm not like your father, and I'm not like my mama.

I'm me, and I'm okay.

Remember when I left for college?

We didn't speak for years.

'Cause you had pussy in your mouth.

And still do, but that's not the point, okay?

We're solid now, but imagine if Janelle

just stopped talking to you.

You could not handle that.

And neither could Janelle.

Pat, baby, she's on the precipice of adulthood,

and she doesn't have to take you or me with her.

Do you really want to miss out on who she gonna become?

Parenting is about showing love,

just as much as it's about providing and teaching.

Look, I get it. When I was growing up,

we were basically children together.

Mildred never poured into you,

so you didn't know how to pour into me.

But you're an adult now, Ma, and if you think

you're so much better than your mother,

then you need to start acting like it.

They're right!

Oh, this reminds me

of when they sold my daughter upriver.

Hootie-hoo! Hootie-hoo!

- Oh, hell no. - Uh-uh.

So your daughter was sold upriver?

- Oh-- - Oh, no, white bitch!

I mean, go, go.

What in the Alabama motorboat brawl is going on in here?

Mama, they trying to beat the salt off this cracker.

Yeah, and they not even putting it on OnlyFans,

which I feel like is a missed opportunity.

Really, Owen?

You whipping people? Is this educational?

He really think he Thomas Jefferson.

Nobody is listening.

I'd never whip anyone.

We know about the physical abuse

done by whites during slavery.

However, we don't ever speak

on the psychological trauma created by enslavement,

which is just as bad, if not worse.

Okay, you still ain't shit, but you ate that little part.

Which is why I shall give Abigail a verbal lashing

to replicate the mental and emotional trauma

of Black slaves.

You good-for-nothing gingerhead sun cricket!

- Oh! - Oh, Lord have mercy!

Why would you say something like that?

Wow, this is so powerful.

I'm--I'm so sorry.

I-I can't believe this happened to you.

- I'm sor-- - Bitch, get off me!

I ain't no damn slave.

No need to be so aggressive.

I-I don't know why you people are so angry.

You people?

You pimento-cheese-eating motherfucker!

Oh, this is the type of drama that I live for!

I'll fuck you up!

Get him, Mama! Turn her loose.

Don't turn her loose!

Janelle, stop tickling my ear.

I'm not.

Ahh!

both: Ahh!

Open the door! Open the door! Open the door!

What in the world happened to y'all?

Don't ask.

That shit made my uterus itch.

What's going on in here?

* *

Look what the wind...

blew the fuck in.

Marcus.

Boy, how the fuck did you even get in here?

You didn't hear me say that thing about the wind?

How the hell did you get out of prison?

I'm my own abolitionist.

Is--is this part of the act?

Ooh, he must be playing Nat Turner.

No, I'm the nigga to tell you shut up!

What's the emergency, Pat?

This chicken box motherfucker right here keep calling

these good white niggas "ginger crickets"!

This whole resort is some bullshit,

and I hope our ancestors get together at night

and whup yo' ass.

I am educating people.

Oh, you a white man trying to educate white people

about Black people, and you don't even speak

to Black people.

That is fucked up, huh, Pat-Pat?

I think so. That shit was kind of hard

to follow right there.

Wait, so you made us all perform

this super uncomfortable stuff,

and you never even consulted with real Black people?

No.

But I read several books on slavery.

And I skimmed several more.

But the movies--oof.

They were steeped in trauma porn.

You don't think that this is trauma porn?

You're profiting off of our pain.

Amen!

Oh, now you're saying "amen," huh?

- Mm-hmm. - Well, this right here

is no different than what you been doing...

to Janelle.

See that moment of realization in your face?

And that's why you call Cousin Marcus.

Nobody ain't called you.

Tiffany?

- Tiffany! - What?

He never even spoke to any Black people.

They're offended.

Oh, my God.

I'm s--I'm so sorry.

- I'm so sorry! - Stop it!

Stop it. Now you're offending them

with your white tears.

Oh! I-I was just trying to be a good ally.

I'm not a bad person, really!

Damn, they free now?

I had a julep coming.

Marcus, you in this episode?

A little bit.

So this what you think I'm doing,

trying to fix a problem without asking how to do it?

- Yeah. - What else am I supposed

to do, Janelle?

That's what parents do.

But parents should talk without assuming.

And you shouldn't be putting your hands on your kids.

Mm.

I gotta whup your ass sometime, but look--

I can't lie, I-I really thought them snacks and--

and gifts was gonna, you know, cover up my bullshit.

But--but you do deserve an apology,

and I'm sorry for doing what I did

and how I spoke to you.

Look, I love you, Mom, okay?

But just because your mom made you feel small,

it doesn't mean you could do the same thing to me.

I don't want to continue the cycle of verbal abuse

that has clearly affected our generation for far too long.

It won't continue. I promise you that.

All anyone can do is be better than yesterday.

- Mm-hmm. - Ain't that the truth?

You did a great job, Ma.

And you, too, Janelle.

- Aw. - Thanks.

Well, I got some wonderful daughters.

What about us, Ma?

I got some wonderful daughters.

Oh, thanks, Ma.

Well, my work is done, huh?

I fixed the tire on the RV.

I fixed the toilet in the RV.

I fixed an outlet.

But most of all, I fixed the family.

Thank you, Marcus.

Thank you. See you at KFC.

* *

Well, everybody, I gotta go.

I gotta get Cam Newton his jacket back, huh?

* Like a poot, I'm taking off *

- * Like a poot in the wind * - Ha-ha!

* Poot in the wind, poot in the wind *

If he's so good at fleeing scenes,

why he keep on getting caught?

Wait, before you go,

your complimentary resort gift bags.

Nigga, is that cotton?

Excuse me, Willie Lynch.

- * She's a grown-ass woman *

* And she don't take no stuff *

* She's a grown-ass woman *

* And you can't get enough *

* She's a grown-ass woman *

* With a husband and kids *

* She's a grown-ass woman *

* And it's "The Ms. Pat Show" *