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1
00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:17,539
Y'all remember them old
black-and-white sitcoms?
2
00:00:17,626 --> 00:00:19,758
You know, the ones where
Black people was either a maid
3
00:00:19,845 --> 00:00:22,413
or an off-screen nigga
that was lynched
4
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:26,069
by a daddy
who had just got home?
5
00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:28,463
When I was a kid, y'all,
I dreamed of having
6
00:00:28,550 --> 00:00:30,900
a perfect family like that.
7
00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:35,078
You know, no drama,
no kids talking back.
8
00:00:35,165 --> 00:00:37,472
Their version of shopping
is not stealing
9
00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:39,865
out the damn Goodwill
donation box.
10
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:43,304
You know what?
11
00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:45,349
I really feel like
I have that now.
12
00:00:45,436 --> 00:00:49,484
Trouble is,
life isn't black or white.
13
00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:51,529
It's more like that gray hair
14
00:00:51,616 --> 00:00:53,357
that hanging off
your grandma chin.
15
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,883
Let's get this shit started.
16
00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:08,590
- "The Ms. Pat Show"was filmed in front
17
00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:10,722
of a live studio audience.
18
00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:18,730
♪ ♪
19
00:01:18,817 --> 00:01:20,689
Here is your rent money,
Mother.
20
00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:22,952
I even put an extra 100
on top for you.
21
00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:25,215
Oh, you shouldn't have,
my brilliant bum.
22
00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:27,217
I just wanted to show you
how appreciative I am
23
00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:28,958
for letting me live here
and giving me access
24
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:30,742
to all of your hard-earned
motherly wisdom.
25
00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:32,440
Oh, no.
26
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:34,181
I hope I didn't miss any
of Mama's hard-earned
27
00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:36,879
motherly wisdom, did I?
28
00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:38,837
Mother, are you baking again?
29
00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:40,404
Can I have a cookie?
30
00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:41,840
No.
31
00:01:41,927 --> 00:01:44,365
You're too darn sweet
as it is.
32
00:01:44,452 --> 00:01:46,018
Oh, Mama.
33
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,064
Oh, that's my mama.
34
00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:51,154
Honey, I'm home!
35
00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:53,287
Ahh!
36
00:01:54,679 --> 00:01:57,378
Here's your scotch, and your
slippers are on the stairs.
37
00:01:57,465 --> 00:01:58,814
How was work today, darling?
38
00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:01,947
Oh, it was the cat's pajamas.
39
00:02:02,034 --> 00:02:04,515
Here you go, love.
40
00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:06,430
Janelle, water, please.
41
00:02:06,517 --> 00:02:08,040
Get this.
42
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,652
I switched the water fountain
signs today at work.
43
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:13,220
Now white folks
are drinking colored water.
44
00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:14,699
Can they tell the difference?
45
00:02:14,786 --> 00:02:15,918
They will
when they can't vote.
46
00:02:17,572 --> 00:02:19,617
Oh, Dad, you crack me up.
47
00:02:21,706 --> 00:02:24,187
Did someone say crack?
48
00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:26,972
Auntie Denise!
49
00:02:27,059 --> 00:02:29,366
Oh, Pat,
I've got a proposition for you.
50
00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:32,021
I hope it's not another one
of your harebrained schemes.
51
00:02:32,108 --> 00:02:35,285
No, there'll be no wacky
hijinks going on today,
52
00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:37,592
I promise.
53
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:39,811
So I've inherited a monkey.
54
00:02:39,898 --> 00:02:41,596
A monkey?
55
00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,902
This sound like a hijinks.
56
00:02:43,989 --> 00:02:46,340
I think
I'll call him Bubbles!
57
00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:48,994
I have such a perfect family.
58
00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:53,390
Everybody,
meet my new girlfriend.
59
00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:54,696
Hi, Mom.
60
00:02:55,914 --> 00:02:57,220
What the fudge?
61
00:02:57,307 --> 00:02:59,091
Why am I saying fudge?
62
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,616
There's no swearing
in a black-and-white, Mom!
63
00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:03,139
Brandon, shut the fudge up!
64
00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:04,445
Uh, fix it, Jesus.
65
00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:06,838
Somebody get me
the God dang it remote!
66
00:03:06,925 --> 00:03:08,231
Here.
67
00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:12,540
You dumb motherfucker!
68
00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:17,545
♪ Come on, it's time to go ♪
69
00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:19,721
♪ It's "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪
70
00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:22,985
Get the fuck off me!
71
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:24,900
How many times I done told you
how hard it is
72
00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:26,684
to be a teen parent
out here,
73
00:03:26,771 --> 00:03:29,121
and you go out here
and hit this clear coochie raw?
74
00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:33,169
Ma, it wasn't like that.
75
00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:34,605
You going to tell her,
or should I?
76
00:03:34,692 --> 00:03:35,998
Tell me what?
77
00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:37,478
I mean, they did
still have raw sex.
78
00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:39,436
Mm, about that.
79
00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:41,830
Junebug, what happened
to the FitRite condoms?
80
00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,484
You were supposed
to fuck with the FitRites.
81
00:03:43,571 --> 00:03:45,529
Well, they didn't fit right,
OK?
82
00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:48,097
And, Ma, I'm not
the biological father.
83
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:49,533
Oh, you better praise God,
84
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:52,275
'cause I'd have chopped
your dick off.
85
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,538
Look, Barbie,
I understand you got a belly,
86
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,236
but you got to get up
out of here.
87
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,629
- She can't go.
- Why not?
88
00:03:58,716 --> 00:04:00,022
She got kicked out.
89
00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:04,244
She ever heard
of a nigga called shelter?
90
00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:07,682
My dad thinks my situation
cost him the election.
91
00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:09,336
He said I shamed the family,
and he doesn't want me
92
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:12,208
- around anymore.
- Wow.
93
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:14,558
- That's horrible.
- Tragic.
94
00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:16,908
What the fuck
that got to do with us?
95
00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:18,519
She's my girlfriend.
96
00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:20,260
Junebug, you are a kid.
97
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:22,218
You are not old enough
to be nobody's daddy.
98
00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:23,393
At all.
99
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,308
You were
when you were my age.
100
00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:28,529
Well, now,
he got you there, Pat-Pat.
101
00:04:28,616 --> 00:04:30,008
I'm a mom because
I didn't have any money
102
00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:33,360
- to abort Ashley.
- Well, damn.
103
00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:34,839
You know what I mean.
104
00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:36,580
I love you, but I could
have done without you.
105
00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:39,061
- But I love you.
- Excuse me.
106
00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:41,150
But you really love me,
though, right, Mama?
107
00:04:41,237 --> 00:04:43,195
I mean, I bet you're glad
you kept me, huh?
108
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,241
The clinic was closed.
109
00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:49,376
Look, Alison,
I understand you
110
00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:50,942
and your daddy's
having problems,
111
00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:52,727
but you got to find
another friend house to go to.
112
00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:55,730
Junebug's my only friend.
He's the love of my life.
113
00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:58,689
Well, what about
the nigga that fucked you?
114
00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:00,822
- Mom!
- Terry!
115
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:02,432
- Yeah?
- Get down here.
116
00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,173
You ain't gonna believe
this shit.
117
00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:05,653
Dad already knows
about Alison.
118
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:07,481
What do you mean,
you already damn know?
119
00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:09,396
All right, all right.
Listen.
120
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:11,485
What you mean, listen?
I'm Dumbo up in this bitch.
121
00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:12,877
Baby, you was out on tour
when all this stuff went down.
122
00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,357
There was enough
on your plate already, baby.
123
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:16,011
Don't tell me
how much to eat!
124
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:17,491
And we squashed it already.
125
00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:19,362
We didn't want you
to overreact.
126
00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:20,842
I'm not overreacting!
127
00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:22,931
We supposed to be a team.
128
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:25,107
But my teammate
don't tell me my son out here
129
00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:27,327
rawdogging Cinderella?
130
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,027
Yeah, Dad,
why don't you tell her?
131
00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:34,290
Please do not call
my brother-in-law
132
00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:35,726
no damn daddy.
133
00:05:35,813 --> 00:05:38,294
What she want,
every Black man in the house?
134
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:40,775
Hey, listen, baby.
I had it under control.
135
00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:42,472
Really? Then can you tell me
136
00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:45,562
why this pregnant ho
is at my house?
137
00:05:45,649 --> 00:05:47,303
Her name is Alison.
138
00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:49,087
- Her name is pregnant ho!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
139
00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:50,001
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Pat, Pat.
140
00:05:50,088 --> 00:05:51,481
Come on, baby.
141
00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:54,832
Take a second and breathe, huh?
142
00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:56,138
You're right.
143
00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:59,184
I need to calm down.
144
00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:00,447
Listen, pregnant ho.
145
00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:07,541
I know you're pregnant,
and I know you a ho.
146
00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:10,326
I know you're scared,
and I've been there myself,
147
00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:12,023
but what you're not gonna do,
148
00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:13,851
you're not gonna
rope-a-dope my son
149
00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:15,418
into no fucked-up future.
150
00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:16,941
I have nowhere else to go.
151
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:18,508
Aren't you a Republican?
152
00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:20,205
You have
our thoughts and prayers.
153
00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:22,382
All right, look.
She's not going anywhere.
154
00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:24,427
- Oh, watch!
- What?
155
00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:25,646
Get your hands off my girl!
156
00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:26,951
Hey, watch how
you talk to your mama!
157
00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:28,170
What the hell
did you just say?
158
00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:29,693
I said,
get your hands off my girl.
159
00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:30,477
- Hey, come on, boy!
- Take cover! Take cover!
160
00:06:30,564 --> 00:06:33,001
Take cover!
161
00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:36,874
Alison is my girlfriend.
162
00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:39,007
And if y'all have
any respect for me at all,
163
00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:41,879
then you need to respect that.
164
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:44,839
I will never respect a boy
who I pay his cell phone bill
165
00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:46,318
and pay for his damn lunch.
166
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,103
I would never respect a clown
167
00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:50,410
who can't even pay for
the drawers on his funky ass.
168
00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:55,893
One day you might be a man,
but today is not that day.
169
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,722
And let me tell you something.
170
00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:00,811
That is not
your fucking girlfriend,
171
00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:02,770
and that is not your baby.
172
00:07:02,857 --> 00:07:04,511
Am I understood?
173
00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:08,384
Am I understood?
174
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,518
- Yes.
- Yes, what?
175
00:07:13,345 --> 00:07:15,565
Yes, ma'am.
176
00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:19,787
I'm sorry, Alison.
You need to go now.
177
00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:21,136
I don't know where.
178
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:23,268
Follow the yellow brick road.
179
00:07:25,183 --> 00:07:27,969
Uh, Alison, God came to me,
and he told me he was
180
00:07:28,056 --> 00:07:29,361
gonna see you through, OK?
181
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,625
So go on, now.
Bye-bye.
182
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,587
Well, shit!
183
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:40,503
Now you're saying
the bitch got to stay?
184
00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:46,074
Ouch!
185
00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:48,511
Ouch is exactly what your
fucking future is saying.
186
00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:50,382
This isn't your business.
187
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,515
And that ain't your baby.
188
00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:53,951
Not technically, no, but--
189
00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:55,518
I know what
you're thinking, Junebug.
190
00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:57,172
Because you're thinking
the same shit
191
00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:59,087
I was thinking at your age--
that this baby is gonna be
192
00:07:59,174 --> 00:08:00,610
like a teddy bear,
a cute little accessory
193
00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:03,700
for your life.
No, Junebug.
194
00:08:03,787 --> 00:08:05,920
The baby is your life
from the jump.
195
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:09,576
- Trust me.
- But you don't have a baby.
196
00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:11,969
Boy, why is you so dead set
on being
197
00:08:12,056 --> 00:08:13,362
somebody's damn daddy?
198
00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:15,973
It's not about that.
199
00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:19,107
I-- look, I've seen the love
my parents were able to create
200
00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:21,022
in this type of situation,
201
00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:23,111
and I feel like me and Alison
could do the same thing,
202
00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:26,027
and I'm a man.
203
00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:28,682
What makes you think
you a man, Junebug?
204
00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:32,381
You don't see this mustache?
205
00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:37,429
I see an upper lip
with sunburn.
206
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:41,608
A man is a boy who can
make choices and stand by them.
207
00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:45,307
And right now, I choose Alison.
208
00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:48,005
And I'm in love.
209
00:08:48,092 --> 00:08:50,399
In love?
210
00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:51,879
Boy, you don't know love.
211
00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:55,491
I was in love with Twan.
212
00:08:55,578 --> 00:08:57,928
We used to steal together.
213
00:08:58,015 --> 00:09:02,454
And then he stole my heart
and my TV.
214
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,239
Then I was in love
with Vince,
215
00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:06,197
and I don't really
talk about him much
216
00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:08,286
because of the gag order,
and not the good kind of gag.
217
00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:18,732
Um, but that was real love,
and it still wasn't right.
218
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:21,822
Junebug,
you ain't in no real love,
219
00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:24,085
and you damn sure
ain't in no right love.
220
00:09:24,172 --> 00:09:25,782
I don't need y'all
to tell me what to do.
221
00:09:25,869 --> 00:09:28,437
This feels right to me.
222
00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:31,353
And none of y'all are gonna
talk me out of it.
223
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,660
Now, if you'll excuse me,
224
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:36,488
I need to go check
on my better half.
225
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:40,057
Sit your ass down.
226
00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:42,146
Now, this is gonna be
a hell of a lot harder
227
00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:43,670
than you think.
228
00:09:43,757 --> 00:09:46,629
I had a front row seat
to all the things
229
00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:47,717
that your mama went through,
230
00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:50,024
and it scared me
off babies for life.
231
00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:53,418
Hmm.
That's weird.
232
00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:56,247
What's weird?
233
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:58,162
Well,
Mama always says the reason
234
00:09:58,249 --> 00:10:00,861
you don't have any baby is
'cause you can't keep a man.
235
00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:04,299
I can keep a man, Junebug.
236
00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:07,041
- Mm.
- I can.
237
00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:10,131
The real question is,
can a man keep me, OK?
238
00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:11,741
That's the real question.
239
00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:13,700
And the answer is,
fuck you, little boy!
240
00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:18,835
So what is your life plans?
You got any goals?
241
00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:20,707
Of course, I have goals.
242
00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:22,230
I want to have so many babies
with Junebug
243
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,972
that it won't matter
who put number one in me.
244
00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:26,887
Now, you know
for 80 cents a day,
245
00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:27,888
you could support
all the Black babies
246
00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:29,367
you want, right?
247
00:10:31,369 --> 00:10:32,632
Black babies went up?
248
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:35,069
Yeah, girl.
Inflation.
249
00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:37,419
Alison, I have seen
how all the boys drool
250
00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:38,986
all over you at school.
251
00:10:39,073 --> 00:10:42,772
I mean, good-looking boys.
Smart boys.
252
00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:45,122
So please just
help me understand, why--
253
00:10:47,124 --> 00:10:49,387
I'm sorry.
254
00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:52,129
- Why Junebug?
- He's my Juney.
255
00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:55,219
I know he's always gonna
be there to take care of me.
256
00:10:55,306 --> 00:10:56,656
You didn't take care of him
when you lied
257
00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:57,657
about that being his baby.
258
00:10:57,744 --> 00:10:59,397
That was my dad, not me.
259
00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:02,879
- You went along with it.
- I just love him so much.
260
00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:05,403
I wanted him in my life.
In our life.
261
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:06,578
Whatever it took.
262
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,754
both: Bitch, please!
263
00:11:10,147 --> 00:11:11,932
You really want
to fall for a teenager
264
00:11:12,019 --> 00:11:14,586
dumb enough to get dad-fished?
265
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:18,852
Well, Juney and I feel that,
spiritually, it is our baby.
266
00:11:18,939 --> 00:11:20,244
Well, spiritually,
you can think
267
00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:21,898
whatever you want,
but sperm-ily,
268
00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:24,858
that is not your family.
269
00:11:24,945 --> 00:11:27,338
I don't think you all get
a say in what he chooses to do.
270
00:11:27,425 --> 00:11:30,515
Junebug is old enough
to make his own decisions.
271
00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:33,388
You don't care that you
could be ruining his life?
272
00:11:33,475 --> 00:11:35,433
No. I'm saving it.
273
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:36,957
Excuse me?
274
00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:38,872
I'm saving him
from having to be in a family
275
00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:40,787
where he is
constantly disrespected
276
00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:43,398
and walked over
and undervalued.
277
00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:45,966
Now he will at least
have two people
278
00:11:46,053 --> 00:11:47,794
who actually believe
he's capable of being
279
00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:49,839
whatever it is he wants to be.
280
00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:52,712
What the fuck
that supposed to mean?
281
00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:54,235
You and
that little motherfucker
282
00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:55,932
in your stomach don't know
nothing about my son, OK?
283
00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:57,542
We're not looking
for no caseworker.
284
00:11:57,629 --> 00:12:01,155
And, boo-boo,
this ain't "Losing Isaiah."
285
00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:02,591
And how dare you say
we don't believe in him?
286
00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:04,245
I'm not saying you don't.
287
00:12:04,332 --> 00:12:06,943
That's literally
what you just said.
288
00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:09,554
- Terry!
- Yeah.
289
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:10,642
What's going on, baby?
290
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,905
I need you to get in here,
291
00:12:11,992 --> 00:12:13,341
go out there and clean a path,
292
00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:14,646
and get her
the hell up out my house.
293
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,387
You can't just
put her out on the street.
294
00:12:16,474 --> 00:12:18,172
I'm not.
295
00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:20,043
I'ma put her in the yard
like Monday trash.
296
00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,046
She's staying here.
297
00:12:23,133 --> 00:12:26,267
You don't run nothing
around here, boy.
298
00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:28,051
Well, if you guys
are kicking her out,
299
00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:30,401
then you're kicking
all three of us out.
300
00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:32,186
Come on, Bug.
301
00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:35,145
Three-for-one coupon.
Bye.
302
00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:37,713
I am old enough
to make my own decisions.
303
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,759
- I am a man.
- Oh, you a man?
304
00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:41,238
- That's right.
- Then take my clothes off.
305
00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:42,979
What?
306
00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:44,024
Like I said earlier,
you ain't paid
307
00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:45,547
for none of that shit
on your back.
308
00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:48,028
Now, run me my shit.
309
00:12:49,464 --> 00:12:50,770
Uh, Juney?
310
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:52,946
Pat, the last thing
this situation needs
311
00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:55,600
is a naked boy in the kitchen.
312
00:12:55,687 --> 00:12:57,559
Start stripping.
313
00:12:57,646 --> 00:12:58,995
What?
314
00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:01,215
Yeah right, Ma.
315
00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:03,434
- You crazy.
- I'm glad you know I'm crazy.
316
00:13:03,521 --> 00:13:04,914
Now, go ahead and get
my Jordans off your feet,
317
00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:06,873
'cause I can get
some money for them.
318
00:13:11,703 --> 00:13:14,402
And give my shirt, too.
319
00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:16,491
Give me my shirt
before I take it off you.
320
00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:23,150
Damn, I need to be going
to the gym with Junebug.
321
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:27,676
Give me my pants.
322
00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:30,157
Ma!
323
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:31,332
Don't make me take
my pants off
324
00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:33,029
in front of
your little girlfriend.
325
00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:43,735
There.
326
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,129
- You happy?
- No. Give me them drawers.
327
00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:47,174
No, no,
don't do that, Junebug.
328
00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:50,612
- No, no, no, no, no.
- No, no.
329
00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:52,832
- No.
- No.
330
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:53,702
- Help!
- Oh!
331
00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:54,746
Oh, damn.
332
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,271
Did she piss herself?
333
00:13:57,358 --> 00:13:59,751
Think your fake-ass nephew
is on the way.
334
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:00,970
Well, somebody do something.
335
00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:03,320
Everybody calm down!
I'm on it.
336
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,453
I'll go get the Swiffer.
337
00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:10,850
And y'all thought I wasn't
gonna be a good father.
338
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:14,897
Yes, hello, 911?
339
00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:17,726
Oh, shoot. OK.
340
00:14:17,813 --> 00:14:19,554
No, hello yourself.
341
00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:22,600
No, it's just that you have
a really deep voice, is all.
342
00:14:22,687 --> 00:14:24,776
What's your name, daddy?
343
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,736
Gimme the damn phone.
344
00:14:27,823 --> 00:14:29,303
Listen up.
345
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:32,045
We got the mayor's daughter
over here.
346
00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:34,351
No, she ain't no damn hostage.
347
00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:40,140
How much can we get, though?
348
00:14:40,227 --> 00:14:42,577
Damn, he do got
a sexy-ass voice.
349
00:14:42,664 --> 00:14:46,233
Uh, Larry, baby,
how soon do you think you can
350
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,800
get an ambulance over here?
351
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,280
What is he saying?
352
00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:51,934
Ooh, 'cause we need it now.
353
00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:55,155
Why are you rubbing
on your mildew-ass Milk Duds?
354
00:14:56,765 --> 00:14:58,723
What is he saying?
355
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:00,682
Come over here and let me
talk to you real quick.
356
00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:03,641
OK, we got a real
shit-uation on our hands.
357
00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:05,817
Larry just said that
because of the blizzard,
358
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,255
they not gonna be able to get
an ambulance here in time.
359
00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:09,169
Are you kidding me?
360
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:14,000
The fuck are you carrying,
a demon?
361
00:15:15,566 --> 00:15:16,959
Well, if they can't
get here in time,
362
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:17,917
then what are we gonna do?
363
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:19,788
Uh, you know, it's all good.
364
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:21,833
Like Stevie said,
don't you worry about a thing.
365
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,966
Stevie Nicks said that?
366
00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:24,749
Uh, Pat, help me out.
367
00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:26,926
I'm trying. I'm trying.
368
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:29,232
Uh, Auntie, uh,
can your new boyfriend walk us
369
00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:30,755
through it over the phone?
370
00:15:30,842 --> 00:15:32,540
Oh, good idea, Junebug.
371
00:15:32,627 --> 00:15:35,630
And please go upstairs
and put some clothes on.
372
00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:38,067
Hey, don't you put on
nothing I bought you.
373
00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:41,549
Larry, uh,
would you be able to walk us
374
00:15:41,636 --> 00:15:43,116
through this delivery?
375
00:15:43,203 --> 00:15:45,031
No, I know you got it
376
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,728
under control.
377
00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,991
You be having every
little thing under control.
378
00:15:49,078 --> 00:15:51,733
Denise!
379
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:54,170
Uh-- uh, Larry said, how far
apart are the contractions?
380
00:15:56,477 --> 00:15:58,261
R. Kelly and Puff Daddy.
381
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:09,403
They don't sound
too far apart to me, Larry.
382
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:11,579
Uh, he said
you gotta lay down, baby.
383
00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:13,189
Oh, hell no.
384
00:16:13,276 --> 00:16:14,103
I'm not letting
no white girl put her
385
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:16,018
twat pocket on my damn couch.
386
00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:17,237
Well, it's no different
than them porns
387
00:16:17,324 --> 00:16:18,934
that Terry be watching.
388
00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:20,544
Kids, get in here!
389
00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:23,852
Uh, OK.
390
00:16:23,939 --> 00:16:26,420
Uh, Janelle, I need you
to go to the laundry room,
391
00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:27,595
get the blue tarp,
and then come back
392
00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:29,118
- and lay it on the sofa.
- OK.
393
00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:30,772
Ashley, I need you to get
some ice for her
394
00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:32,295
to chew,
make a pot of hot cocoa,
395
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:33,862
and then whip up a plate
with a big sandwich
396
00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:35,255
and some barbecue chips.
397
00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:36,560
OK.
398
00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:37,605
Uh, Alison,
what type of sandwich?
399
00:16:37,692 --> 00:16:39,302
Uh, the sandwich is for me,
400
00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:41,043
and I would like a turkey club,
and then double-deck it
401
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:42,653
if we got enough bread.
402
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,264
Now, come on, Ashley,
'cause you're wasting time.
403
00:16:44,351 --> 00:16:45,700
OK, what can I do?
404
00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:47,136
You can start
shoveling the driveway
405
00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:48,268
so the ambulance will have
somewhere to park.
406
00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:49,530
It's like
negative 30 out there.
407
00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:50,618
I could key a whole car
with my nipples.
408
00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:52,185
Boy, get your ass out there.
409
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:53,664
- It's colder in here.
- Hey, hey, hey.
410
00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:54,491
I'm gonna help you out,
Brandon.
411
00:16:54,578 --> 00:16:56,972
Hey.
412
00:17:03,413 --> 00:17:05,633
What in the devil
you got on, man?
413
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,069
Wait, wait.
414
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:08,375
You look like
a Powerpuff nigga.
415
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:12,248
I'm wearing our clothes.
416
00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:13,728
I'm gonna go shovel
some snow.
417
00:17:13,815 --> 00:17:15,382
Last time I was in the room
for a birth, I--
418
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:18,646
- You passed out.
- Passed out?
419
00:17:18,733 --> 00:17:20,952
Oh, what-- what kind of father
are you, man?
420
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,390
- I could never.
- You don't understand.
421
00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:26,001
I've been to war, and that's
still the worst thing
422
00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:28,264
I've ever seen.
423
00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:30,353
Put it back in.
Put it back in.
424
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,876
Don't worry, Bug.
425
00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:35,228
Your daddy suffer
from pussy-TSD.
426
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:37,752
Do you know how hard it is
to push a bowling ball
427
00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:39,101
out through a keyhole?
428
00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:41,060
Oh, now, Pat,
you know you ain't never
429
00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:42,452
been that tight.
430
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:49,329
Hold on, Larry.
431
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,157
Hold on, hold on.
432
00:17:51,244 --> 00:17:54,899
Why are you crying,
outside of the obvious?
433
00:17:54,986 --> 00:17:58,773
I didn't mean to cause
this much drama in your family.
434
00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:01,515
- Really, I didn't.
- Please.
435
00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:04,083
Pushing out a baby is
diet drama in this household.
436
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,823
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
437
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:07,173
It seems like every week
some new shit
438
00:18:07,260 --> 00:18:08,739
is going on around here.
439
00:18:08,826 --> 00:18:12,482
I really think
we should have a TV show.
440
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:14,571
I just feel like
Mrs. Carson is never
441
00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:15,920
gonna be OK with
Juney and me.
442
00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:17,357
You right.
443
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,927
Maybe everything
would just be easier
444
00:18:23,014 --> 00:18:25,408
if I gave the baby up
for adoption.
445
00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:28,716
- No.
- It makes the most sense.
446
00:18:28,803 --> 00:18:30,544
Oh, now listen to me.
447
00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:32,589
You do not want to do that.
448
00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:35,592
You will regret that decision
for the rest of your life.
449
00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:37,072
How do you know?
450
00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:39,944
Well, just trust me, OK?
451
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:41,859
- Trust me.
- OK.
452
00:18:41,946 --> 00:18:44,253
All right.
Now, come on, spread 'em.
453
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:45,994
I-- I don't know.
454
00:18:46,081 --> 00:18:48,127
Well, don't be shy now.
455
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,520
It ain't nothing
I ain't never seen before.
456
00:18:50,607 --> 00:18:55,873
I had a, um,
lesbian phase back in '98.
457
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,875
Yeah, the taste thing
really didn't work for me,
458
00:18:57,962 --> 00:18:59,964
because when I would go down,
like, it was just like--
459
00:19:00,051 --> 00:19:02,271
OK, Denise.
460
00:19:02,358 --> 00:19:05,535
I don't really care
if you see my haystack.
461
00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:08,059
I was just hoping maybe
you'd put some gloves on first.
462
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,888
Of course.
Good call.
463
00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:12,847
Janelle, go to the kitchen
and get me some of them
464
00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:14,327
yellow dishwashing gloves.
465
00:19:14,414 --> 00:19:15,937
They haven't been used,
have they?
466
00:19:16,024 --> 00:19:18,244
Now, beggars
can't be choosers.
467
00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:21,116
You really don't like rubbers,
do you?
468
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:24,032
Janelle, uh, hit them shits
with some Palmolive
469
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:25,773
and make sure
they're good and disinfected.
470
00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:27,818
Do you even know
what you're doing?
471
00:19:27,905 --> 00:19:30,125
That's a fair question.
472
00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:31,648
And the answer is?
473
00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:33,520
No, I don't.
474
00:19:33,607 --> 00:19:36,827
But I have delivered pizzas.
475
00:19:36,914 --> 00:19:40,004
And I always deliver sexually.
476
00:19:40,091 --> 00:19:42,703
Between me, Denise,
and her new boyfriend,
477
00:19:42,790 --> 00:19:45,053
we're gonna deliver you
safely, baby.
478
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:46,750
This is not my first rodeo.
479
00:19:46,837 --> 00:19:47,969
What y'all need me to do?
480
00:19:48,056 --> 00:19:50,928
- Mrs. Carson?
- Yes?
481
00:19:51,015 --> 00:19:52,669
Would you hold my hand,
please?
482
00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:57,413
Um...
483
00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:01,852
I got you.
484
00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:12,036
How's it going out there?
485
00:20:12,123 --> 00:20:14,474
Pretty good.
486
00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:15,605
I'm going back out.
487
00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:17,564
I just need to...
488
00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:20,088
Warm up.
We got it.
489
00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:23,134
You know you got a booger-cicle
hanging from your nose, right?
490
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,962
- I got it.
- My hands are frozen.
491
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:27,878
Ow!
492
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,358
Thanks.
493
00:20:31,926 --> 00:20:34,842
Let me have
one of them wet washcloths.
494
00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:36,757
Just breathe, baby.
495
00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:38,802
Uh, don't you guys
wash your butts with those?
496
00:20:38,889 --> 00:20:40,021
Yep.
497
00:20:40,108 --> 00:20:41,414
Get used to smelling shit.
498
00:20:43,198 --> 00:20:44,634
Yo, y'all got
some hot chocolate
499
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:46,114
or something up in here?
500
00:20:46,201 --> 00:20:48,247
And some glue
to reattach my toes.
501
00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:49,335
Man, you got gout.
502
00:20:49,422 --> 00:20:51,250
Your toes been dead.
503
00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:53,339
And you know, Brandon
started crying at one point,
504
00:20:53,426 --> 00:20:56,429
but his tears froze up
too fast-- oh, Lord!
505
00:20:56,516 --> 00:21:01,434
♪ Jesus, Jesus never fails ♪
506
00:21:01,521 --> 00:21:03,827
Look, I know it hurt,
but I had Ashley and Brandon
507
00:21:03,914 --> 00:21:06,308
when I was younger than you.
I was scared as hell.
508
00:21:06,395 --> 00:21:08,702
I didn't have no parents.
I didn't have shit.
509
00:21:08,789 --> 00:21:10,269
But look at that beautiful
Black woman right there.
510
00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:12,445
She's smart,
she's special,
511
00:21:12,532 --> 00:21:16,100
and she's strong,
and she use dildos.
512
00:21:16,187 --> 00:21:18,233
And they don't
get you pregnant.
513
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:21,192
Don't let her convert you.
514
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,325
Hell, I did something right.
515
00:21:23,412 --> 00:21:24,979
Thanks, Mrs. Carson.
516
00:21:25,066 --> 00:21:26,110
Let's get this thing out of me.
517
00:21:26,197 --> 00:21:28,461
Ooh, yeah!
That's it. OK.
518
00:21:28,548 --> 00:21:30,289
Now grab Pat's hand
and grind it out.
519
00:21:30,376 --> 00:21:33,466
Oh, you got it, well done.
520
00:21:33,553 --> 00:21:34,684
Well, that's it.
521
00:21:34,771 --> 00:21:36,469
Larry, I'm seeing
the top of the head.
522
00:21:36,556 --> 00:21:38,079
You are?
Oh, really?
523
00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:41,909
- Oh! Oh, God.
- Come on, honey. Come on.
524
00:21:41,996 --> 00:21:43,650
What kind of father
are you, Juney?
525
00:21:43,737 --> 00:21:46,914
Junebug!
526
00:21:47,001 --> 00:21:48,219
Oh, he all right.
He just sleeping.
527
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:50,004
Mom!
528
00:21:50,091 --> 00:21:51,919
It fucks men up
when they realize the tussy cat
529
00:21:52,006 --> 00:21:53,834
is gonna look
like a crime scene.
530
00:21:55,444 --> 00:21:59,056
Yeah, this shit looking
real "First 48"-ish.
531
00:21:59,143 --> 00:22:00,623
Oh, God!
532
00:22:00,710 --> 00:22:01,581
Oh, baby,
you ain't gonna have
533
00:22:01,668 --> 00:22:03,191
no little rosebud no more.
534
00:22:03,278 --> 00:22:04,627
You're gonna be able
to kick a field goal
535
00:22:04,714 --> 00:22:07,717
through that thing.
536
00:22:07,804 --> 00:22:09,153
Whoa!
537
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:10,285
Yes, yes,
that was the push that
538
00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:11,939
made the difference, Alison.
539
00:22:12,026 --> 00:22:13,810
Keep breathing just like that.
We're halfway there.
540
00:22:13,897 --> 00:22:15,464
Make her laugh again, Pat.
541
00:22:15,551 --> 00:22:16,683
I guess I could tell you
when I had my fourth child,
542
00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:18,075
I'm walking through
the grocery store,
543
00:22:18,162 --> 00:22:19,990
and my vagina
just hit the floor.
544
00:22:20,077 --> 00:22:21,557
Yeah, Mom.
545
00:22:21,644 --> 00:22:22,515
Yeah, Mom.
Make her laugh again.
546
00:22:22,602 --> 00:22:23,733
- Go on.
- No way!
547
00:22:23,820 --> 00:22:25,213
- That didn't happen.
- Uh-huh.
548
00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:26,780
My pussy hit the floor,
said splat-a-tat-tat-tat.
549
00:22:26,867 --> 00:22:28,999
Right there in the deli aisle,
and the butcher
550
00:22:29,086 --> 00:22:31,088
picked it up and weighed it.
551
00:22:31,175 --> 00:22:33,308
It's coming, Ma.
How much did it weigh?
552
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:36,398
2.3 pounds of spicy pussy!
553
00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:48,976
- Oh, my goodness.
- We got us a baby.
554
00:22:49,063 --> 00:22:53,154
Oh, my goodness. Oh.
555
00:22:53,241 --> 00:22:57,506
Ohh. Ohh.
556
00:22:57,593 --> 00:23:01,902
Oh, look at
that little beautiful angel.
557
00:23:01,989 --> 00:23:04,034
Wow, that erases
all the doubt.
558
00:23:04,121 --> 00:23:06,515
This baby is too cute
to be Junebug's.
559
00:23:08,648 --> 00:23:10,824
Oh, who gonna cut the cord?
560
00:23:10,911 --> 00:23:12,521
Can I?
561
00:23:12,608 --> 00:23:14,044
I don't care.
It ain't my baby.
562
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:18,092
Well, actually, can I do it?
563
00:23:18,179 --> 00:23:20,616
- Yeah.
- Here.
564
00:23:24,925 --> 00:23:27,362
- Oh.
- Whew.
565
00:23:29,233 --> 00:23:30,800
What'd I miss?
566
00:23:30,887 --> 00:23:32,976
The birth of your child,
deadbeat.
567
00:23:34,238 --> 00:23:37,894
Oh, God.
568
00:23:39,592 --> 00:23:40,419
Ambulance.
569
00:23:40,506 --> 00:23:42,769
- What?
- The ambulance!
570
00:23:42,856 --> 00:23:44,510
Why the hell you didn't
tell me the ambulance here?
571
00:23:44,597 --> 00:23:45,989
Oh, thank you, baby Jesus.
572
00:23:46,076 --> 00:23:47,817
Come on in.
573
00:23:47,904 --> 00:23:49,645
Excuse me,
can I ask you a question?
574
00:23:49,732 --> 00:23:52,387
You wouldn't happen to be
a very sexy-voiced man
575
00:23:52,474 --> 00:23:54,215
named Larry, would you?
576
00:23:54,302 --> 00:23:57,305
No, ma'am.
577
00:23:57,392 --> 00:23:59,829
My name is Darius.
578
00:23:59,916 --> 00:24:01,222
My friends call me
Darius the Hilarious,
579
00:24:01,309 --> 00:24:03,180
because I got mad jokes.
580
00:24:06,749 --> 00:24:08,664
- What's your name?
- My name?
581
00:24:08,751 --> 00:24:10,100
Yeah.
582
00:24:10,187 --> 00:24:11,711
Is do your damn job.
583
00:24:13,408 --> 00:24:14,583
Janelle, after this,
we putting you
584
00:24:14,670 --> 00:24:16,977
- on birth control.
- Birth control?
585
00:24:17,064 --> 00:24:18,935
Girl, after this,
I want the pill, the patch,
586
00:24:19,022 --> 00:24:20,633
and the shot, OK?
587
00:24:22,591 --> 00:24:24,288
Thanks for getting me
through that.
588
00:24:24,375 --> 00:24:25,899
Girl, you think
you through this?
589
00:24:25,986 --> 00:24:27,988
Your journey has just begun.
590
00:24:28,075 --> 00:24:29,424
But I will say this.
591
00:24:29,511 --> 00:24:31,905
If I can do it, you can too.
592
00:24:31,992 --> 00:24:33,733
Make sure you take care
of that baby.
593
00:24:33,820 --> 00:24:34,995
I will.
594
00:24:35,082 --> 00:24:36,431
Because I take care
of my babies.
595
00:24:36,518 --> 00:24:38,128
What do you mean?
596
00:24:38,215 --> 00:24:39,434
I mean going forward,
I would like for you to stay
597
00:24:39,521 --> 00:24:40,435
the hell away from my son.
598
00:24:41,871 --> 00:24:43,438
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
599
00:24:43,525 --> 00:24:45,875
You are not about to throw out
the mother of my child.
600
00:24:45,962 --> 00:24:47,007
And no, I'm not
gonna to throw her out.
601
00:24:47,094 --> 00:24:49,923
That's right, you're not.
602
00:24:50,010 --> 00:24:53,970
I'm throwing your ungrateful,
musty ass out instead.
603
00:24:54,057 --> 00:24:56,407
That's right, you--
604
00:24:56,495 --> 00:24:58,758
what-- what'd you say?
605
00:24:58,845 --> 00:25:00,063
You heard me.
606
00:25:00,150 --> 00:25:01,978
Uh, Pat,
let's talk about this, huh?
607
00:25:02,065 --> 00:25:04,111
- Where am I gonna go?
- You'll figure it out.
608
00:25:04,198 --> 00:25:05,634
You said you grown.
609
00:25:05,721 --> 00:25:08,507
Pat, you sure
you want to do all that?
610
00:25:08,594 --> 00:25:10,683
Yeah, grown people
do grown people shit.
611
00:25:10,770 --> 00:25:13,512
- Eh.
- You know what? Fine.
612
00:25:13,599 --> 00:25:15,949
I don't need y'all anyway.
613
00:25:16,036 --> 00:25:17,646
I'll just go
move in with Ashley.
614
00:25:17,733 --> 00:25:18,908
Oh, nah.
615
00:25:18,995 --> 00:25:21,171
I'm the only grown man
in my house, boo.
616
00:25:21,258 --> 00:25:22,390
Hey, hey, hey.
617
00:25:22,477 --> 00:25:23,913
Now, hold on now, son.
618
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,698
Don't go doing
nothing crazy, now.
619
00:25:25,785 --> 00:25:27,787
No. Let him go.
He said he didn't need us.
620
00:25:27,874 --> 00:25:29,919
Wait up, y'all.
I'm coming with you.
621
00:25:30,006 --> 00:25:31,007
Don't come back.
622
00:25:31,094 --> 00:25:32,618
Oh, I won't.
623
00:25:35,621 --> 00:25:37,884
And by the way, Mom,
that was real nice
624
00:25:37,971 --> 00:25:39,668
during the delivery
how you told Alison
625
00:25:39,755 --> 00:25:41,757
how great Ashley grew up to be.
626
00:25:41,844 --> 00:25:44,281
And you had plenty
to do with that, sure.
627
00:25:44,368 --> 00:25:46,066
But so did Dad, OK?
628
00:25:46,153 --> 00:25:48,024
He came into your life
when you were in
629
00:25:48,111 --> 00:25:50,418
a bad situation
and helped you raise
630
00:25:50,505 --> 00:25:52,638
two kids that weren't even his.
631
00:25:52,725 --> 00:25:55,684
And he's still here, isn't he?
632
00:25:55,771 --> 00:25:57,294
And those kids turned out
to be pretty great,
633
00:25:57,381 --> 00:25:59,949
didn't they?
634
00:26:00,036 --> 00:26:02,561
Get the hell out of my house
looking like a gender reveal.
635
00:26:10,525 --> 00:26:11,918
Y'all are some hypocrites.
636
00:26:12,005 --> 00:26:14,834
Get your hypocrite ass
off my porch!
637
00:26:14,921 --> 00:26:18,011
Ah, that boy
done lost his damn mind.
638
00:26:18,098 --> 00:26:19,360
You know
he coming back, right?
639
00:26:19,447 --> 00:26:21,362
I don't give a fuck.
640
00:26:21,449 --> 00:26:23,407
Yes, you do.
641
00:26:23,494 --> 00:26:27,281
This family, we ain't
exactly perfect, now are we?
642
00:26:27,368 --> 00:26:29,370
No, but a bitch can wish.
643
00:26:29,457 --> 00:26:31,328
Oh.
644
00:26:31,415 --> 00:26:32,808
I don't know, Mama.
645
00:26:32,895 --> 00:26:34,244
Do you think
Juney's gonna be OK?
646
00:26:34,331 --> 00:26:36,377
We'll have to tune in
next week and see.
647
00:26:36,464 --> 00:26:37,683
Wait, but this is streaming.
648
00:26:37,770 --> 00:26:38,901
Can't we just go
to the next episode?
649
00:26:38,988 --> 00:26:40,947
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
650
00:26:41,034 --> 00:26:41,774
Hit the next
motherfucking epi--
651
00:26:41,861 --> 00:26:44,385
Shit.
652
00:26:52,785 --> 00:26:54,917
- ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪
653
00:26:55,004 --> 00:26:56,789
♪ And she don'ttake no stuff ♪
654
00:26:56,876 --> 00:26:58,747
♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪
655
00:26:58,834 --> 00:27:01,445
♪ And you can't get enough ♪
656
00:27:01,532 --> 00:27:03,534
♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪
657
00:27:03,622 --> 00:27:05,711
♪ With a husband and kids ♪
658
00:27:05,798 --> 00:27:08,888
♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪
659
00:27:08,975 --> 00:27:13,501
♪ And it's"The Ms. Pat Show" ♪
46968
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