Original subtitles

- "The Ms. Pat Show" was filmed

in front of a live studio audience.

[cheers and applause]

- Loving the person you love is easy,

but liking they ass is hard as hell.

I truly believe when the bible said, "Love thy enemies,"

that was actually fuckin' marriage advice.

Being married is hard.

It's like having a full-time job

with no damn pay.

But like they say, "Do what you love

and it won't feel like work."

Well, whoever that bitch "they" is lied,

and they need their entire ass beat.

Now don't get me wrong, y'all.

I love my husband.

But he working me harder

than a African Egyptian Hebrew Alabama Baptist slave.

- I'm telling you, the only job she working

making that kind of money is the kind

that keep her legs spread wider than the Mississippi River.

- [laughs] Girl!

I thought I was gonna miss out on all the tea

by not going to the salon,

but you messy as hell all by yourself.

- Aww, I really appreciate that.

- You welcome. - Good morning, Denise.

Morning, Pat. - Hm?

- This ain't your wife, Terry.

This is my client, Porsha.

You should be able to tell 'cause Porsha got edges.

- Aww. - Oh, my bad.

What you said your name was again, Mercedes?

- Porsha.

Girl, what the hell is wrong with him?

- I knew it was a German car.

- That ain't no milk, Terry. - Hm?

- Milk is the color of your neighbors, white.

- [laughs]

- You could've just said it looked

like your taste in men.

- Oop!

- Grabbed OJ by mistake.

- Well, one thing you don't wanna grab by mistake, it's OJ.

[laughs] - Mm-hmm.

- Well, chile, Terry been grabbing a lot of stuff

by mistake lately--

OJ, other women titties.

- Um, should I leave?

- Leave? Girl, you about to get

the best show of your life.

- How many times I gotta apologize, Pat, huh?

Before you forgive me?

- Try just one more time.

- Baby, I'm truly sorry.

- Yeah, that shit didn't do nothing for me.

You been texting that bitch, Michelle, all last night.

- I wasn't texting no Michelle.

- Girl, who is Michelle?

- Michelle this home-wrecking ho

trying to play with Terry's nuts.

- Quit stirring the pot, Denise, damn.

And keep my nuts out your mouth.

- Oh, that's right,

'cause the only person who have your nuts

in they mouth is Michelle.

- Ugh. I really wished I could've

missed that conversation.

- I'm so glad I'm going to Miami this week

so I can get away from his goofy ass.

- For real? We going to Miami?

Home to "Scarface" and the biggest,

tannest butts in America?

- Aw, heck yeah.

I'ma be on that beach the whole time.

Sun's out, guns out.

- [scoffs] Yeah, water guns.

Ooh, that means I get to go to the African-American

Research Library and Culture Center.

- Janelle, you-- you break my heart sometimes.

- 'Scuse me. I'm going to Miami.

Y'all can go to hell or Indiana Beach,

whatever which one is cheaper, okay?

I'm going for some me time.

- Seems like it's always been "you time" lately.

- Junebug, don't nobody say nothing

when you in the bathroom with your me time.

You think I don't know what the fuck

you be doing in there, Junebug?

I don't knock on the door, do I?

'Cause I don't want nothing to fall.

- Girl, not her dragging her own son for beating his meat.

Chile, I'm getting my hair done here every week!

- I told you, girl.

This is better than "Power,"

"Pussy Valley," "Game of Thrones,"

all that bullshit. - Mm-hmm.

- I like to call it "Game of Mentally Challenged Niggas."

- [laughs]

- ♪ Come on, it's time to go ♪

♪ It's "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪

- Well, that's one way to do it.

Too bad Terry's crippled ass couldn't help you.

- Now that you mention it,

he didn't even offer.

He just up there spaced out.

- Mm, you know, Pat, I'm sure he's in a lil' bit of pain,

but I think that Terry might be getting in a little too deep

with them pills.

It's a real easy slope to slip on.

Take it from me, the slip 'n' slide champ.

- You really think Terry's hooked on drugs?

I mean, his uptight ass ain't even ever smoked weed before.

I'm telling you, he only acting like this, girl,

because he was too friendly with that ho on keto.

- Who got her ass beat though, didn't she?

[both laugh]

All right, I mean, you want me to stay out of it.

But you sure, though?

Because yesterday, Pat, he fell asleep facedown

on the 'frigerator shelf trying to make a decision

between a apple and a hot dog.

- When he woke up, what did he choose?

- The hot dog.

- Girl, he a'ight then.

- I don't know, Pat. The man just seems off.

Take it from me, a former drug user--

- And take it from me, a former drug dealer,

okay, I know when a man is hooked.

Now get out of my head. I gotta go to Miami.

And I need to get my ass to the airport.

- All right. I'm just saying,

go check on the man and make sure

he ain't got no opioid spirit,

'cause I'm telling you, Pat,

he be--he be writhing

and scratching and itching and shit.

- Hey, Terry? - Yeah?

- Denise got this crazy-ass idea

I need to check on you to see if you good.

You good? - I'm good.

- Okay, good. So bye. See you next week.

- All right.

[sucks teeth]

No, no, no, no, no!

Son of a-- that was the last one!

Come on, man. Come on.

Ouch. [grunts]

Damn...pipe!

Oh! Ah! - Dad!

Dad! - Uh, hey, y'all.

[laughing] Hey. I'm good.

You know, it's just a leak, that's all.

I got everything under control now, though.

Yeah.

Y'all can go back downstairs.

I can fix this.

[panting]

Ooh, yeah.

Whew.

[panting]

[sighs]

- Okay, feel the burn. Yeah.

♪ Cinderella dressed in yellow ♪

♪ Went upstairs and kissed a fella ♪

♪ Made a mistake, kissed a snake ♪

♪ How many doctors did it take? ♪

♪ One, two, three, four, five, six ♪

- Brandon!

- What are you doing?

- Oh, trying to get swole.

I got a new plan to get Internet famous.

I'ma become Teacher Bae.

- Who is Teacher Bae?

- Oh, she's this teacher that got really famous

'cause she was fine--

like, "save to bookmarks" fine.

- Exactly. See, I'ma start doing

two-a-days so I can get my Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson on,

start wearing a super tight polo to school

so all the kids in my video game club can

start posting thirst traps of me online.

- I can't imagine a scenario

where this doesn't end in an arrest.

- Well, do you have a cute,

marketable name like Teacher Bae?

- Of course I do.

I'ma be Coach Cater to You and Your Kids.

- Yeah, you definitely going to jail.

Have you seen Mom yet?

We're trying to find her to talk about Dad.

- Yeah, we saw him rip some pipes out of the wall

to get a pill. It was scary.

[door opens] - Wait, what do you mean?

Like, you don't think he's--

- Addicted. Mm-hmm.

I knew that shit.

♪ That motherfucker is addicted ♪

♪ That motherfucker is a-- ♪

Okay, well, I mean.

You know, the celebratory dance was just 'cause I'm right.

I am sorry about y'all junkie-ass daddy.

- All right, so what do we do?

- What we need to do

is pop your pop off a intervention.

- You really think that's gonna work?

- I had one.

Shit, I had four.

And they worked for me every time.

- Denise is right.

I mean, he's only been taking the pills

for a few weeks, right?

I mean, if we catch him early,

maybe we can stop him before it's too late.

- Yeah, I'm all for that.

Let's just nick this up the butt.

- It's not "nick this up the butt," Junebug.

It's "nip this in the bud."

- Well, what does "nip this in the bud" mean?

- Well, what does "nick this up the butt" mean?

- I don't know.

- All right, look, your dad has always been there for me,

even at my lowest point.

- Which one? - Shut up.

This is my chance to pay him back.

I can't wait to be Terry's hero.

Oh, y'all!

Somebody should play "Hero"

while I'm giving my speech at the intervention.

Can't you see it? - No.

- ♪ There's a hero ♪

We love you, Terry.

♪ If you look inside your heart ♪

You's important.

♪ There's no need to be ♪

Come on, back me up.

both: ♪ Afraid ♪

- ♪ Of what you are ♪

- There it is, uh-huh.

- ♪ There's an answer ♪

- We just want you to know

that you can do it. - ♪ If you reach into ♪

♪ Your soul ♪ - You ca--

okay, what the fuck is going on here?

Ain't nobody coming to see you, Otis.

- Anyway, shouldn't we at least talk to Mom

before we talk to Dad?

- Well, when will that be?

Mom's never home these days.

- Tough, but fair. - Okay, look,

Mom and Dad already have too much tension

between them as it is.

Let's just handle one drama at a time.

- Yeah. Plus, it'll show her

that we can handle ourselves while she's out on tour.

- Okay, bet,

and since I'm the only intervention alum here,

I'm gonna emcee the shit, and y'all just follow my lead.

- A'ight, cool. I'll be right in.

I got a few more workouts to do.

[strained] One, two, three--

- You ain't even movin'.

What kind of workout is this?

- Kegels.

- You ain't got no pussy, Brandon!

- Hey, family, problem solved.

I fixed the sink.

Why y'all change my living room furniture around?

- Daddy, we need to talk.

- Yeah. Have a seat, Dad.

- We love you, Dad. It's gonna be okay.

[choking up] We just don't want you sucking dick for no money.

- What?

Denise, what in God's name is going on here?

- Terry Carson, welcome to your intervention.

- Oh, for crying out loud. - Oh, uh-uh.

Come on, Dad. - Move, Junebug.

What you doing, boy?

[all yelling] - ♪ There's a hero ♪

- Aah! My knee!

- ♪ If you look inside your heart ♪

Terry, we love you. [continues singing]

- Junebug, why you so heavy, boy?

What, you been eating rocks or something?

- [grunting] - ♪ Of who you are ♪

- Get off me. I'ma kill all--I'ma kill--

- All right, okay. Just chill out, T.

Okay? Now whether you see it or not,

you need this.

[all panting] And you was there for me

when I was struggling with all my demons,

and I'm gonna be here to help you beat the shit out of yours.

- Oh, I'm about to beat some demons all right.

Somebody better start talking around here.

- O-okay.

Well, before I start,

I'd like to play a slideshow

of all of our special family moments...

- No. - That Facebook did for me.

- Yeah. - Come on.

- Daddy, just watch the video, okay?

So you know how much we all love you.

- Oh, so you wanna play with a real one?

Okay, you want a real bitch? - Oh.

Oh, God.

Oh! - Come on!

God! - Ugh!

Oh! - Turn it off!

- I'm trying. The battery's-- - Turn it down, please.

- Drop it low. I'm--I'm--

All right. Okay. Sorry, y'all.

That was the wrong video.

- Well, who was that for?

- That was for my pastor.

- Hey, hey, Denise. Nobody wanna see that mess.

And I don't need any help. Let me loose!

- Okay, kids, would you like to start?

- Okay, all right.

Look, Dad, seeing you upstairs,

desperate for your last pill like that,

it really--it freaked me out.

- I'm sorry you had to see all that, baby girl.

That was in a moment of weakness, huh?

My--my knees were acting up.

- Ohh, T.

Now you might've started them lil' pills

to heal your crooked-ass knee...

but whatever you're trying to fix with 'em now, T,

I promise you, drugs ain't gonna heal that shit!

- Yes. - Ain't no drugs, Denise.

Okay, now look, the doctor prescribed me pain medication.

It's legal, woman, all right?

I could quit anytime I want.

- "Quit anytime I want to." Okay.

That's the-- that's the first line

out the junkie handbook. - No, no, no, no, no, no.

Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look.

If y'all concerned about addiction,

y'all need to be looking at your mama.

- [groans] You can't be addicted

to fast food, Dad.

- Well, actually-- - That's not the point.

- That woman is addicted to her career, her phone.

- Okay, that's not nottrue.

- Look, ever since she blowing up,

we-where she been, huh? Matter of fact,

where she at right now, huh?

- She's working.

- Working? [chuckles]

Working on everything else but this family.

Brandon got kids having they mama to buy his pornos.

Junebug had a pregnancy scare.

- And let's not forget about Janelle sending

her titty pics all over creation.

[laughs] 'Cause that one was--

- Wait a minute. Excuse me? - [clears throat]

Ah, he didn't know about that one, did he?

- Die! - Aah!

- Oh, my God.

- ♪ There's a hero ♪

♪ If you look ♪ - Denise!

- ♪ Inside your heart ♪ - Uncuff me!

- [continues singing] - Move out the way.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

- [sighs] Hey, Dad, you did a good job fixing the pipes.

There's water leaking everywhere.

- Yeah, I just called the plumber.

He'll be here in the morning.

- We don't need no plumber, Brandon.

Y'all just let me handle it, son, okay?

- No. No, not until you admit you have a problem.

- Baby girl, I ain't got no problem.

What you talking about, huh?

[overlapping chatter] My knee's messed up.

I gotta take the medicine for pain, y'all.

Look, look, look, look. Just uncuff me,

and let's just talk about it.

- What the hell is going on in here?

- Oh, hey, Ma.

I thought you were on your way

to the airport to go to Miami.

- I was, but I left my damn phone,

so I had to come back. And why the hell

y'all got your daddy tied up

like he owe somebody child support or some shit?

- Well, Pat, I'm-- I'm leading a intervention.

- A intervention? Denise, I told you,

this is the last person that needs a damn--

- No, Mom. It is real.

Dad tried to break the sink upstairs

trying to get to his last pill.

[clattering]

- Damn, Terry. You did all this?

- Yeah.

- Okay, everybody get out of the room.

I need to have a talk with your daddy.

- All right, let me unlock the handcuffs first.

- No.

Leave him as he is.

- What the hell?

- [sniffles] Father God,

please don't let my mama kill my only good daddy.

- A couple weeks ago, you were cheating with a skank.

Now you popping pills. - You know damn well

I never cheated. - What the fuck is going on--

- I can't do this, Pat! Not now!

All right? What you come home for anyways?

You should've just waited it out at the airport, girl.

- I told you I left my damn phone.

- Ohh, there it is.

Lord knows you can't do without that phone for five minutes.

[scoffs] - This is not about me.

- Oh, yes, it is.

Halfway through my intervention,

the kids realized that you need an intervention

just as bad as me.

- Man, fuck them kids!

And they need to mind they damn business too.

- You're addicted to your career, your phone,

fame, uh, likes, clicks,

the red carpet events.

- Man, you are a pill popper,

and you stepped outside the marriage, okay?

I like Facebook! That is not the same!

- You gonna let me talk,

or is this just another episode of "The Ms. Pat Show"?

- You know what? A real husband support a woman

who has the balls to follow her dreams.

Your ass up here having an emotional affair

and popping pills for peace.

That is not how you support your fucking wife, Terry!

- Baby, I-- - Don't "baby" me, nigga.

- God damn.

- Man, they're not even listening

to each other anymore.

- I know. That's never a good sign.

- Shit, y'all.

All those two have been through in the past year,

I don't think they can handle

another knock-down, drag-out fight like this.

- What do you mean? Like, a divorce?

- Oh, now come on.

Don't be throwing out the D-word.

- D-word cannot be "divorce" 'cause it's already "dick."

Everybody knows that.

- Okay, well--well, look.

That can't happen, all right, so somebody needs to step in,

um, uh, somebody qualified.

- Agreed. I'm calling Ashley.

- Mm, good call.

She's a therapist. She could therapize.

- Mm-hmm. - Ashley ain't gonna wanna

come over here on her day off

to help them with they bullshit.

- So what do you want me to say?

- I don't know, nigga. Just lie.

- Ohh.

[doorbell rings]

- I'm glad I found my phone.

If I wasn't mad at your ass, this might be sexy.

- Hey! Birthday Queen in the house.

- What the hell are you talkin' about?

- Ah, you trying to hide the surprise, Ma.

That's cute. [laughs]

Where are the streamers and balloons?

Brandon said y'all got me a ice cream cake?

Now did we do Fudgie the Whale or--

- Why the hell would we buy your old ass a ice cream cake?

- For my birthday, which y'all forgot last week.

- Sounds like something that a woman

who ignores her family would do.

- Nigga, you forgot her birthday too.

- I'm addicted to pills, remember?

I mean, at least I got an excuse.

- Okay, so clearly Brandon lied to get me over here, didn't he?

- He probably told you we was having problems,

but we not, so happy birthday.

- Yes, yes. Happy birthday, Princess.

And you can go ahead on and go home,

'cause once she takes responsibilities

for her actions, this whole thing is gonna be over.

- Responsibility for my action?

You the one betrayed my trust.

- I betrayed your trust?

You had an abortion without telling me!

- Man, quit bringing up old shit.

That baby gone. - You know what?

[clattering]

Sh--here we go again.

- Did you turn the damn valves off, Terry?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, baby. This is serious.

So somebody just need to come on and uncuff me

before we all be swimming in bed tonight.

- Ma?

- Let that motherfucker drown.

- Ma.

- Come on, baby.

- [sighs]

Gosh, what is on these things, lube?

- [groans] I hope that's what it is.

- Ugh!

- Thank you, baby. [groans]

[wincing]

- Psst. [no audible dialogue]

- [clears throat] I had no idea

things were this bad with you two.

Y'all both gotta learn to breathe and calm down

during these difficult conversations.

And you need to listen to what he's saying.

You don't listen, Ma.

[all agreeing] - Amen!

- Huh, what? Man, your daddy don't make no damn sense, okay?

He want me to drop everything I've worked so hard for

to sit at home with his needy ass.

- Look, Ma, your dreams are important, okay?

And Daddy's not asking you to drop them.

He just wants to feel like he's important too.

- He is impo-- [all agreeing]

He is important. I'm the one that still

fold his big-ass drawers.

Look, Ashley, I grew up with a hustling mentality, okay?

I gotta grab every opportunity when I can

'cause it might not be there anymore.

- Okay, but do you really need

to take every single opportunity--

even if it's at the cost of your family's happiness?

[all agreeing] - You preaching now.

- Trying to go to Miami by your damn self.

- Why you wet? I thought you had

everything under control.

- [sighs] Ashley, can we have some privacy, please?

And I promise that we gonna be calm

and talk like mature adults.

- Okay, sure.

But I'm gonna remove any potential weapons

just in case.

- Potential weapons? - Mm-hmm.

One and two.

Carry on.

Wow, great birthday party, guys.

Thanks a lot for that.

- Okay, so we lied for an emergency.

Don't make a big deal out the bullshit.

- Well, I did the best I could,

but those two can only heal themselves.

- Okay, then it's time for me to go back in,

you know, rough 'em up a lil' bit.

Yeah, 'cause sometimes physical violence

is the only way to help people that you care about.

- U-uh, hold on, Denise Mayweather.

Okay, that's not what they need right now.

What they need is a soft, soothing presence, like me...

[as Morgan Freeman] And my Morgan Freeman-like voice.

- No. No, they do not need to hear

from an impressionist stripper.

They need someone like me, an empath.

- Oh, sit down, clown.

I'm tellin' y'all,

a good ass whupping would diffuse this entire thing.

See, if I go back in there and I beat Pat's ass,

and then when Terry jump in to defend her,

I beat his ass too.

- That is a horrible idea.

- Well, why don't you come with me?

Didn't they forget your fucking birthday?

- You right. I'm with Auntie. - No. No.

- Hey, hey, hey!

As tempting as that sounds,

y'all know we can't do that.

Put them scissors down.

- Well, what's your solution? Because Ashley didn't last

two minutes in there with 'em.

- Okay, well, why don't you play them

another one of your twerk videos?

- Oop. - Maybe that'll help.

- Now which one of y'all niggas told her that?

[overlapping chatter]

- This is me. This is me. - You cannot do that. Stop.

- We are... all: [angrily] ♪ A family ♪

♪ Like a giant tree! ♪

♪ Branching out toward the sky ♪

♪ We are a family ♪

♪ We are so much more ♪

♪ Than just you and I ♪

- Pipe started leaking again.

I just-- I just can't seem to fix it.

Baby, where you going?

- I'm going back to the airport.

- All this trouble that this family's going through

and you 'bout to run out on me?

- What do you mean, run out on you?

You know I got a trip to Miami.

Why are you tripping? - Look, look, look.

I don't want it to be like this.

Look at us.

I've been thinking, I'm ashamed of my actions, okay?

I've been getting out of hand with the Oxy,

and that ends today, all right?

And believe it or not, I never was gonna cheat with Michelle.

- You could've fooled the hell out of me.

- Baby, let me finish.

I know I shouldn't have been texting her so much, a'ight.

The roles reversed--if you was texting another man like that,

I would--but...

I just thought it was innocent at the time.

Baby, I was completely wrong.

- Hm, keep talkin'.

- It's just, uh,

the pills made it feel better.

Talking to Michelle made it feel better.

- Made what feel better?

- The fact that you, um...

- I what? - You never gonna

need me anymore.

- Terry.

- It's hard to admit, baby,

but I...

been lonely.

- How the hell are you lonely

when I'm here with you every damn day?

- I know, baby, but even when you here,

you're buried in your phone or your podcast.

I ain't no placeholder, baby. I need affection,

attention, and love, like you used to give me.

You remember that? Huh?

Baby, we got something special,

and I wanna keep it that way.

- Wow.

That speech right there...

- Mm-hmm.

- Is the most manipulative shit I've ever heard you say.

- Manipulative?

This family is struggling, Pat.

I've been in so much pain, you ain't even noticed.

- Oh, I've noticed the way you been

running around here crying and shit.

- Well, I am so sorry that I inconvenienced you.

- Why I gotta be the one that's responsible

for everything that goes on in this damn family, huh?

You supposed to be taking care of me!

- We supposed to be taking care of each other!

You're being selfish, Pat.

- You damn right I am, 'cause when the roles were reversed

and you was making the most money, guess what?

I had to sit there and be pretty and cheer you on

'cause I was a fuckin' woman.

- That's not true.

- Dude, I did karaoke at your job,

looking like a goddamn fool.

For what? Your career. Huh?

This is my chance to be fuckin' selfish

for once in a lifetime.

- "I," "my,"

those the words that you've been using lately.

Is this your marriage or our marriage?

- Mine, fool!

I'm trying to get you out this fuckin' factory.

Why don't you want me out here selling tickets, huh?

I'm not doing this for me!

I'm doing this for all you selfish assholes!

- Is that how you gonna talk about your family, really, Pat?

'Cause it seems to me that you don't give

a damn about your own family-- - Mom, Dad, stop!

Jesus!

A-and I don't mean to use his name in vain,

but clearly we need him right now.

Listen to yourselves.

Y'all sound like you hate each other.

- Junebug, it's not like that-- - Let me finish, Ma.

- Excuse me? - Pat.

Go ahead, son.

- Sergio's parents just got divorced.

And he doesn't even smile anymore.

Please don't make me go through that.

Okay? Look, I--

I would die if this family split up.

- We must've really fucked up.

We got this lil' asshole crying.

- Your mom and I do not hate each other, son.

You hear me? Do you?

- Yeah, I hear you.

- And we ain't never getting divorced.

- Not unless one of us die first.

- Yeah, and that's what I'm worried about.

- Boy, please. I'm not gon' kill him.

I might poison him, but I ain't gonna kill him.

- I'm sorry I made you feel like

I didn't want you to follow your dreams, baby.

I just been feeling insecure.

Yeah, you bringing in real money now.

- That's stupid.

You think that's all we need you for is money?

We need you for everything around here.

I mean, you hold down this fort from day one.

- I appreciate that, baby, and I support everything

that you do, but it ain't been easy, you know?

Down at the plant?

Someone called me Mr. Pat.

- [laughs] Mr. Pat.

That's not funny, but--

- No, it's fuckin' funny.

Like, Mr. Pat. [mumbling]

- I'm supposed to be your provider.

That kind of mess makes me feel neutered,

like our dynamic has changed now since your rise.

- I mean, you arrived too.

You just got a promotion.

- Come on, baby. I got a 6% raise.

You legit gonna be famous.

It's different.

- Yeah, it's true.

I mean, this time next year, you could be on the D-list, Ma.

Look at Evelyn Lozada.

- Shut the hell up, okay?

And you anything but neutered, and don't I know that.

- Oh, that's nasty. - All right, I'ma head out.

- That's disgusting.

- And you always gonna be the man of this house,

no matter how big my career get.

And it's gonna get plenty big too.

- Heck yeah, it is.

- See?

Change ain't always a bad thing.

And I been through a lot of changes.

And some of them bitches been pretty good.

- Yeah, except for that Jheri curl

you used to rock back in the day.

That was a bad, bad change.

- [laughs] And you used to have his mustache too.

- Oop. - Your remember that?

- Shut the hell up, Denise.

We look just alike.

- Does this mean y'all gonna be all right?

- 100.

But this just ain't about your mama and me.

We all gotta do better.

This whole family needs to get in line

so she can make us rich

and not worry about us flooding the house.

- Us? Pop, that was you.

- Listen to your mama and shut up.

You ready, baby? - Yeah, I'm ready.

- Come on. - So y'all gonna be okay

while I'm gone?

- Mm-hmm.

- I'm gonna be gone for a week.

- Yeah, we are.

- Yeah, I mean, we gonna be all right.

You know I got 'em.

- And I got 'em after she got 'em

'cause she don't got 'em.

- So I'll see y'all next week?

- Bye, Ma. Love you. - All right, Ma.

- Be safe. - Hey.

Go on and kill 'em, Ms. Pat.

Be safe, baby, all right?

See you in a week.

[cell phone chimes]

- [sighs]

- What, Ma? You forget something?

- Okay, so which one of y'all taking the next shift?

- It ain't gonna be me. - Don't look at me.

Y'all know this is my unofficial birthday trip.

[overlapping chatter]

- La la la la la.

- No, no, no, no, no. W-w-w-w-w-wait!

Nose goes. - Period.

- Ha! You was last. - Bye!

- Bye, bro! - [laughs]

[sighs]

- Let me just grab a few more of these.

- [winces]

How long you think it's been?

- I don't know. Who guarding the door?

- Me.

Everybody else went to the beach.

- How long we been in here, Junebug?

- 17 minutes.

- Oh, fuck. Can I just please have a hit?

Did my agent call?

Can I just look at Twitter one time?

- That's not how detox works, Ma.

- But what if somebody out there tagging

a naked picture of me from 1982?

Huh? I need to see if my show sold out this Friday.

Can I please play Candy Crush? Please?

- [groans] Hand me my aspirin, baby.

- [mumbling angrily]

- Why you think it's harder for you to come off your phone

than I am Oxy?

- I just wanna take a picture of this nice-ass hotel room.

How else these niggas gonna hate on us out here?

- Just relax, baby.

It's all gonna be over with after a while.

[sighs]

How much longer now, Junebug?

- At this point, it doesn't even matter.

♪ And then a hero comes along ♪

♪ With the strength to carry on ♪

both: ♪ There's a hero comes along ♪

♪ With the strength to carry on ♪

- You my hero, baby.

- ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And she don't take no stuff ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And you can't get enough ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ With three damn kids ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And it's "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪