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- "The Ms. Pat Show" was
filmed
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00:00:10,275 --> 00:00:12,586
in front of a live
studio audience.
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00:00:12,655 --> 00:00:16,000
[cheers and applause]
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00:00:16,068 --> 00:00:18,241
- Loving the person you love
is easy,
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00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:20,758
but liking they ass is hard
as hell.
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00:00:20,827 --> 00:00:24,310
I truly believe when the bible
said, "Love thy enemies,"
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00:00:24,379 --> 00:00:27,206
that was actually
fuckin' marriage advice.
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00:00:27,275 --> 00:00:29,137
Being married is hard.
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00:00:29,206 --> 00:00:30,689
It's like having
a full-time job
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00:00:30,758 --> 00:00:32,275
with no damn pay.
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00:00:32,344 --> 00:00:34,482
But like they say,
"Do what you love
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00:00:34,551 --> 00:00:36,448
and it won't feel like work."
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00:00:36,517 --> 00:00:39,275
Well, whoever
that bitch "they" is lied,
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00:00:39,344 --> 00:00:41,793
and they need
their entire ass beat.
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Now don't get me wrong, y'all.
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00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:45,034
I love my husband.
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00:00:45,103 --> 00:00:46,517
But he working me harder
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00:00:46,586 --> 00:00:50,551
than a African Egyptian Hebrew
Alabama Baptist slave.
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- I'm telling you,
the only job she working
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00:00:56,482 --> 00:00:58,655
making that kind of money
is the kind
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00:00:58,724 --> 00:01:01,448
that keep her legs spread wider
than the Mississippi River.
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- [laughs] Girl!
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00:01:03,620 --> 00:01:04,896
I thought I was gonna miss out
on all the tea
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00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:06,103
by not going to the salon,
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00:01:06,172 --> 00:01:08,068
but you messy as hell
all by yourself.
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00:01:08,137 --> 00:01:10,068
- Aww,
I really appreciate that.
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00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:11,344
- You welcome.
- Good morning, Denise.
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00:01:11,413 --> 00:01:12,758
Morning, Pat.
- Hm?
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00:01:12,827 --> 00:01:14,172
- This ain't your wife, Terry.
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This is my client, Porsha.
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00:01:15,862 --> 00:01:17,793
You should be able to tell
'cause Porsha got edges.
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00:01:17,862 --> 00:01:19,448
- Aww.
- Oh, my bad.
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00:01:19,517 --> 00:01:21,586
What you said your name
was again, Mercedes?
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00:01:21,655 --> 00:01:23,344
- Porsha.
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00:01:23,413 --> 00:01:25,103
Girl, what the hell is wrong
with him?
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00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:27,551
- I knew it was a German car.
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00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:29,827
- That ain't no milk, Terry.
- Hm?
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00:01:29,896 --> 00:01:32,517
- Milk is the color
of your neighbors, white.
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00:01:32,586 --> 00:01:34,000
- [laughs]
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00:01:34,068 --> 00:01:34,931
- You could've
just said it looked
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00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:35,862
like your taste in men.
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00:01:35,931 --> 00:01:37,586
- Oop!
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00:01:37,655 --> 00:01:39,241
- Grabbed OJ by mistake.
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- Well, one thing you don't
wanna grab by mistake, it's OJ.
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00:01:42,068 --> 00:01:43,655
[laughs]
- Mm-hmm.
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00:01:43,724 --> 00:01:45,310
- Well, chile, Terry been
grabbing a lot of stuff
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00:01:45,379 --> 00:01:47,068
by mistake lately--
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00:01:47,137 --> 00:01:49,275
OJ, other women titties.
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00:01:49,344 --> 00:01:51,034
- Um, should I leave?
50
00:01:51,103 --> 00:01:52,206
- Leave?
Girl, you about to get
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00:01:52,275 --> 00:01:53,482
the best show of your life.
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00:01:53,551 --> 00:01:55,620
- How many times
I gotta apologize, Pat, huh?
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00:01:55,689 --> 00:01:57,275
Before you forgive me?
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00:01:57,344 --> 00:01:58,827
- Try just one more time.
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00:01:58,896 --> 00:02:01,275
- Baby, I'm truly sorry.
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00:02:01,344 --> 00:02:03,103
- Yeah, that shit didn't do
nothing for me.
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00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:06,896
You been texting that bitch,
Michelle, all last night.
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00:02:06,965 --> 00:02:08,000
- I wasn't texting no Michelle.
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00:02:08,068 --> 00:02:09,310
- Girl, who is Michelle?
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00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:10,793
- Michelle
this home-wrecking ho
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00:02:10,862 --> 00:02:12,827
trying to play
with Terry's nuts.
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00:02:14,448 --> 00:02:16,413
- Quit stirring the pot,
Denise, damn.
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00:02:16,482 --> 00:02:18,137
And keep my nuts
out your mouth.
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00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:19,758
- Oh, that's right,
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00:02:19,827 --> 00:02:21,482
'cause the only person
who have your nuts
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00:02:21,551 --> 00:02:24,275
in they mouth is Michelle.
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00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:26,206
- Ugh.
I really wished I could've
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00:02:26,275 --> 00:02:27,620
missed that conversation.
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00:02:28,965 --> 00:02:31,310
- I'm so glad I'm going
to Miami this week
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00:02:31,379 --> 00:02:33,379
so I can get away
from his goofy ass.
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00:02:33,448 --> 00:02:35,413
- For real? We going to Miami?
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00:02:35,482 --> 00:02:36,758
Home to "Scarface"
and the biggest,
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00:02:36,827 --> 00:02:37,931
tannest butts in America?
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00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,586
- Aw, heck yeah.
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00:02:39,655 --> 00:02:41,448
I'ma be on that beach
the whole time.
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00:02:41,517 --> 00:02:43,137
Sun's out, guns out.
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00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:46,000
- [scoffs] Yeah, water guns.
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00:02:46,068 --> 00:02:48,724
Ooh, that means I get to go
to the African-American
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00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:51,241
Research Library
and Culture Center.
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00:02:52,827 --> 00:02:55,896
- Janelle, you--
you break my heart sometimes.
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00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:59,586
- 'Scuse me.
I'm going to Miami.
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00:02:59,655 --> 00:03:01,586
Y'all can go to hell
or Indiana Beach,
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00:03:01,655 --> 00:03:04,344
whatever which one
is cheaper, okay?
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00:03:04,413 --> 00:03:05,793
I'm going for some me time.
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00:03:05,862 --> 00:03:09,379
- Seems like it's always been
"you time" lately.
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00:03:09,448 --> 00:03:10,620
- Junebug,
don't nobody say nothing
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00:03:10,689 --> 00:03:12,379
when you in the bathroom
with your me time.
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00:03:12,448 --> 00:03:13,379
You think I don't know
what the fuck
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00:03:13,448 --> 00:03:14,655
you be doing in there, Junebug?
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00:03:14,724 --> 00:03:16,206
I don't knock on the door,
do I?
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00:03:16,275 --> 00:03:17,793
'Cause I don't want
nothing to fall.
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00:03:17,862 --> 00:03:20,655
- Girl, not her dragging her
own son for beating his meat.
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00:03:20,724 --> 00:03:22,862
Chile, I'm getting
my hair done here every week!
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00:03:22,931 --> 00:03:24,931
- I told you, girl.
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This is better than "Power,"
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00:03:26,482 --> 00:03:27,965
"Pussy Valley,"
"Game of Thrones,"
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00:03:28,034 --> 00:03:29,482
all that bullshit.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:03:29,551 --> 00:03:32,068
- I like to call it "Game
of Mentally Challenged Niggas."
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00:03:32,137 --> 00:03:34,758
- [laughs]
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00:03:34,827 --> 00:03:37,103
- ♪ Come on, it's time to go ♪
101
00:03:37,172 --> 00:03:39,758
♪ It's "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪
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00:03:47,275 --> 00:03:50,413
- Well, that's one way
to do it.
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Too bad Terry's crippled ass
couldn't help you.
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00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:55,206
- Now that you mention it,
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he didn't even offer.
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00:03:56,655 --> 00:04:00,000
He just up there spaced out.
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00:04:00,068 --> 00:04:04,689
- Mm, you know, Pat, I'm sure
he's in a lil' bit of pain,
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00:04:04,758 --> 00:04:07,000
but I think that Terry might be
getting in a little too deep
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00:04:07,068 --> 00:04:08,413
with them pills.
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00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:11,206
It's a real easy slope
to slip on.
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00:04:11,275 --> 00:04:13,586
Take it from me,
the slip 'n' slide champ.
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00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:18,655
- You really think
Terry's hooked on drugs?
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00:04:18,724 --> 00:04:21,517
I mean, his uptight ass ain't
even ever smoked weed before.
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00:04:21,586 --> 00:04:23,758
I'm telling you,
he only acting like this, girl,
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00:04:23,827 --> 00:04:27,000
because he was too friendly
with that ho on keto.
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00:04:27,068 --> 00:04:29,413
- Who got her ass beat though,
didn't she?
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00:04:29,482 --> 00:04:32,034
[both laugh]
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00:04:32,103 --> 00:04:35,482
All right, I mean,
you want me to stay out of it.
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But you sure, though?
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00:04:37,241 --> 00:04:40,310
Because yesterday, Pat,
he fell asleep facedown
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00:04:40,379 --> 00:04:42,206
on the 'frigerator shelf
trying to make a decision
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00:04:42,275 --> 00:04:43,482
between a apple and a hot dog.
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00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:45,793
- When he woke up,
what did he choose?
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00:04:45,862 --> 00:04:46,931
- The hot dog.
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00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,862
- Girl, he a'ight then.
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00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,689
- I don't know, Pat.
The man just seems off.
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00:04:52,758 --> 00:04:54,551
Take it from me,
a former drug user--
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00:04:54,620 --> 00:04:56,689
- And take it from me,
a former drug dealer,
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00:04:56,758 --> 00:04:58,965
okay, I know
when a man is hooked.
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00:04:59,034 --> 00:05:01,275
Now get out of my head.
I gotta go to Miami.
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00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:03,310
And I need to get my ass
to the airport.
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00:05:03,379 --> 00:05:04,724
- All right.
I'm just saying,
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00:05:04,793 --> 00:05:06,275
go check on the man
and make sure
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00:05:06,344 --> 00:05:08,172
he ain't got no opioid spirit,
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00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,620
'cause I'm telling you, Pat,
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00:05:09,689 --> 00:05:12,206
he be--he be writhing
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00:05:12,275 --> 00:05:15,827
and scratching and itching
and shit.
138
00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:20,931
- Hey, Terry?
- Yeah?
139
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,724
- Denise got
this crazy-ass idea
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00:05:22,793 --> 00:05:24,586
I need to check on you
to see if you good.
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00:05:24,655 --> 00:05:25,862
You good?
- I'm good.
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00:05:25,931 --> 00:05:27,758
- Okay, good. So bye.
See you next week.
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00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,965
- All right.
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00:05:30,034 --> 00:05:31,827
[sucks teeth]
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00:05:39,517 --> 00:05:41,275
No, no, no, no, no!
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00:05:41,344 --> 00:05:43,896
Son of a--
that was the last one!
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00:05:43,965 --> 00:05:46,551
Come on, man. Come on.
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00:05:46,620 --> 00:05:48,379
Ouch.
[grunts]
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00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:50,586
Damn...pipe!
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00:05:50,655 --> 00:05:52,586
Oh! Ah!
- Dad!
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00:05:52,655 --> 00:05:55,068
Dad!
- Uh, hey, y'all.
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00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:57,034
[laughing] Hey.
I'm good.
153
00:05:57,103 --> 00:05:58,931
You know, it's just a leak,
that's all.
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00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,068
I got everything
under control now, though.
155
00:06:01,137 --> 00:06:02,275
Yeah.
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00:06:02,344 --> 00:06:03,482
Y'all can go back downstairs.
157
00:06:03,551 --> 00:06:04,862
I can fix this.
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00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,172
[panting]
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00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,413
Ooh, yeah.
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00:06:07,482 --> 00:06:08,965
Whew.
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00:06:12,482 --> 00:06:14,448
[panting]
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00:06:14,517 --> 00:06:16,655
[sighs]
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00:06:16,724 --> 00:06:19,000
- Okay, feel the burn.
Yeah.
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00:06:19,068 --> 00:06:20,689
♪ Cinderella dressed
in yellow ♪
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00:06:20,758 --> 00:06:22,000
♪ Went upstairs
and kissed a fella ♪
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00:06:22,068 --> 00:06:23,620
♪ Made a mistake,
kissed a snake ♪
167
00:06:23,689 --> 00:06:25,000
♪ How many doctors
did it take? ♪
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00:06:25,068 --> 00:06:26,827
♪ One, two, three,
four, five, six ♪
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00:06:26,896 --> 00:06:27,655
- Brandon!
170
00:06:27,724 --> 00:06:29,344
- What are you doing?
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00:06:29,413 --> 00:06:30,965
- Oh, trying to get swole.
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00:06:31,034 --> 00:06:33,206
I got a new plan
to get Internet famous.
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00:06:33,275 --> 00:06:34,482
I'ma become Teacher Bae.
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00:06:34,551 --> 00:06:35,862
- Who is Teacher Bae?
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00:06:35,931 --> 00:06:38,310
- Oh, she's this teacher
that got really famous
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00:06:38,379 --> 00:06:39,413
'cause she was fine--
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00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,379
like, "save to bookmarks" fine.
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00:06:41,448 --> 00:06:42,931
- Exactly.
See, I'ma start doing
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00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,103
two-a-days so I can get my
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson on,
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00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,724
start wearing
a super tight polo to school
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00:06:46,793 --> 00:06:48,551
so all the kids
in my video game club can
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00:06:48,620 --> 00:06:50,551
start posting thirst traps
of me online.
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00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:52,413
- I can't imagine a scenario
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00:06:52,482 --> 00:06:55,206
where this doesn't end
in an arrest.
185
00:06:55,275 --> 00:06:56,724
- Well, do you have a cute,
186
00:06:56,793 --> 00:06:58,206
marketable name
like Teacher Bae?
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00:06:58,275 --> 00:06:59,482
- Of course I do.
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00:06:59,551 --> 00:07:02,620
I'ma be Coach Cater to You
and Your Kids.
189
00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:05,172
- Yeah, you definitely
going to jail.
190
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:07,827
Have you seen Mom yet?
191
00:07:07,896 --> 00:07:10,379
We're trying to find her
to talk about Dad.
192
00:07:10,448 --> 00:07:12,758
- Yeah, we saw him rip
some pipes out of the wall
193
00:07:12,827 --> 00:07:14,793
to get a pill.
It was scary.
194
00:07:14,862 --> 00:07:16,137
[door opens]
- Wait, what do you mean?
195
00:07:16,206 --> 00:07:17,275
Like, you don't think he's--
196
00:07:17,344 --> 00:07:19,413
- Addicted. Mm-hmm.
197
00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:21,172
I knew that shit.
198
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:23,379
♪ That motherfucker
is addicted ♪
199
00:07:23,448 --> 00:07:25,413
♪ That motherfucker is a-- ♪
200
00:07:25,482 --> 00:07:27,551
Okay, well, I mean.
201
00:07:29,172 --> 00:07:31,551
You know, the celebratory dance
was just 'cause I'm right.
202
00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:34,620
I am sorry about y'all
junkie-ass daddy.
203
00:07:34,689 --> 00:07:35,620
- All right, so what do we do?
204
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,517
- What we need to do
205
00:07:37,586 --> 00:07:40,517
is pop your pop
off a intervention.
206
00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,275
- You really think
that's gonna work?
207
00:07:42,344 --> 00:07:43,517
- I had one.
208
00:07:43,586 --> 00:07:45,655
Shit, I had four.
209
00:07:45,724 --> 00:07:48,034
And they worked for me
every time.
210
00:07:48,103 --> 00:07:49,482
- Denise is right.
211
00:07:49,551 --> 00:07:50,793
I mean, he's only been
taking the pills
212
00:07:50,862 --> 00:07:51,896
for a few weeks, right?
213
00:07:51,965 --> 00:07:53,241
I mean, if we catch him early,
214
00:07:53,310 --> 00:07:55,068
maybe we can stop him
before it's too late.
215
00:07:55,137 --> 00:07:56,896
- Yeah, I'm all for that.
216
00:07:56,965 --> 00:07:58,586
Let's just nick this
up the butt.
217
00:07:58,655 --> 00:08:00,931
- It's not "nick this
up the butt," Junebug.
218
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:04,137
It's "nip this in the bud."
219
00:08:04,206 --> 00:08:07,000
- Well, what does
"nip this in the bud" mean?
220
00:08:07,068 --> 00:08:09,758
- Well, what does
"nick this up the butt" mean?
221
00:08:09,827 --> 00:08:11,448
- I don't know.
222
00:08:11,517 --> 00:08:14,413
- All right, look, your dad
has always been there for me,
223
00:08:14,482 --> 00:08:15,758
even at my lowest point.
224
00:08:15,827 --> 00:08:17,827
- Which one?
- Shut up.
225
00:08:17,896 --> 00:08:20,448
This is my chance
to pay him back.
226
00:08:20,517 --> 00:08:22,379
I can't wait
to be Terry's hero.
227
00:08:22,448 --> 00:08:23,655
Oh, y'all!
228
00:08:23,724 --> 00:08:26,137
Somebody should play "Hero"
229
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,379
while I'm giving my speech
at the intervention.
230
00:08:28,448 --> 00:08:29,793
Can't you see it?
- No.
231
00:08:29,862 --> 00:08:32,758
- ♪ There's a hero ♪
232
00:08:32,827 --> 00:08:34,551
We love you, Terry.
233
00:08:34,620 --> 00:08:37,689
♪ If you look
inside your heart ♪
234
00:08:37,758 --> 00:08:39,413
You's important.
235
00:08:39,482 --> 00:08:40,551
♪ There's no need to be ♪
236
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:41,586
Come on, back me up.
237
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:42,931
both: ♪ Afraid ♪
238
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,241
- ♪ Of what you are ♪
239
00:08:45,310 --> 00:08:47,000
- There it is, uh-huh.
240
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:49,344
- ♪ There's an answer ♪
241
00:08:49,413 --> 00:08:51,206
- We just want you to know
242
00:08:51,275 --> 00:08:52,655
that you can do it.
- ♪ If you reach into ♪
243
00:08:52,724 --> 00:08:54,000
♪ Your soul ♪
- You ca--
244
00:08:54,068 --> 00:08:55,896
okay, what the fuck
is going on here?
245
00:08:55,965 --> 00:08:57,655
Ain't nobody coming
to see you, Otis.
246
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,724
- Anyway, shouldn't
we at least talk to Mom
247
00:09:05,793 --> 00:09:07,344
before we talk to Dad?
248
00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:08,724
- Well, when will that be?
249
00:09:08,793 --> 00:09:11,103
Mom's never home these days.
250
00:09:11,172 --> 00:09:12,793
- Tough, but fair.
- Okay, look,
251
00:09:12,862 --> 00:09:14,586
Mom and Dad already have
too much tension
252
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:15,827
between them as it is.
253
00:09:15,896 --> 00:09:17,827
Let's just handle one drama
at a time.
254
00:09:17,896 --> 00:09:20,310
- Yeah.
Plus, it'll show her
255
00:09:20,379 --> 00:09:23,034
that we can handle ourselves
while she's out on tour.
256
00:09:23,103 --> 00:09:24,413
- Okay, bet,
257
00:09:24,482 --> 00:09:27,586
and since I'm the only
intervention alum here,
258
00:09:27,655 --> 00:09:30,034
I'm gonna emcee the shit,
and y'all just follow my lead.
259
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,586
- A'ight, cool.
I'll be right in.
260
00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,448
I got a few more workouts
to do.
261
00:09:33,517 --> 00:09:36,344
[strained] One, two, three--
262
00:09:36,413 --> 00:09:37,517
- You ain't even movin'.
263
00:09:37,586 --> 00:09:38,931
What kind of workout is this?
264
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:39,965
- Kegels.
265
00:09:40,034 --> 00:09:43,000
- You ain't got no pussy,
Brandon!
266
00:09:46,103 --> 00:09:49,241
- Hey, family, problem solved.
267
00:09:49,310 --> 00:09:50,620
I fixed the sink.
268
00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:52,344
Why y'all change my living room
furniture around?
269
00:09:52,413 --> 00:09:54,379
- Daddy, we need to talk.
270
00:09:54,448 --> 00:09:55,965
- Yeah.
Have a seat, Dad.
271
00:09:56,034 --> 00:09:58,103
- We love you, Dad.
It's gonna be okay.
272
00:09:58,172 --> 00:10:00,137
[choking up] We just don't want
you sucking dick for no money.
273
00:10:00,206 --> 00:10:02,344
- What?
274
00:10:02,413 --> 00:10:04,206
Denise, what in God's name
is going on here?
275
00:10:04,275 --> 00:10:07,172
- Terry Carson,
welcome to your intervention.
276
00:10:07,241 --> 00:10:08,724
- Oh, for crying out loud.
- Oh, uh-uh.
277
00:10:08,793 --> 00:10:09,758
Come on, Dad.
- Move, Junebug.
278
00:10:09,827 --> 00:10:11,034
What you doing, boy?
279
00:10:11,103 --> 00:10:13,137
[all yelling]
- ♪ There's a hero ♪
280
00:10:13,206 --> 00:10:14,689
- Aah! My knee!
281
00:10:14,758 --> 00:10:17,655
- ♪ If you look
inside your heart ♪
282
00:10:17,724 --> 00:10:18,793
Terry, we love you.
[continues singing]
283
00:10:18,862 --> 00:10:20,310
- Junebug,
why you so heavy, boy?
284
00:10:20,379 --> 00:10:21,896
What, you been eating rocks
or something?
285
00:10:21,965 --> 00:10:25,655
- [grunting]
- ♪ Of who you are ♪
286
00:10:25,724 --> 00:10:27,137
- Get off me.
I'ma kill all--I'ma kill--
287
00:10:27,206 --> 00:10:30,000
- All right, okay.
Just chill out, T.
288
00:10:30,068 --> 00:10:32,137
Okay?
Now whether you see it or not,
289
00:10:32,206 --> 00:10:33,310
you need this.
290
00:10:33,379 --> 00:10:34,689
[all panting]
And you was there for me
291
00:10:34,758 --> 00:10:36,379
when I was struggling
with all my demons,
292
00:10:36,448 --> 00:10:39,068
and I'm gonna be here to help
you beat the shit out of yours.
293
00:10:39,137 --> 00:10:43,655
- Oh, I'm about to beat
some demons all right.
294
00:10:43,724 --> 00:10:45,965
Somebody better start
talking around here.
295
00:10:46,034 --> 00:10:47,206
- O-okay.
296
00:10:47,275 --> 00:10:48,620
Well, before I start,
297
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:50,689
I'd like to play a slideshow
298
00:10:50,758 --> 00:10:52,758
of all of our special
family moments...
299
00:10:52,827 --> 00:10:54,448
- No.
- That Facebook did for me.
300
00:10:54,517 --> 00:10:55,586
- Yeah.
- Come on.
301
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,517
- Daddy,
just watch the video, okay?
302
00:10:57,586 --> 00:11:00,137
So you know how much
we all love you.
303
00:11:02,344 --> 00:11:05,000
- Oh, so you wanna play
with a real one?
304
00:11:05,068 --> 00:11:07,137
Okay, you want a real bitch?
- Oh.
305
00:11:07,206 --> 00:11:08,448
Oh, God.
306
00:11:08,517 --> 00:11:09,758
Oh!
- Come on!
307
00:11:09,827 --> 00:11:11,793
God!
- Ugh!
308
00:11:11,862 --> 00:11:13,310
Oh!
- Turn it off!
309
00:11:13,379 --> 00:11:15,586
- I'm trying. The battery's--
- Turn it down, please.
310
00:11:15,655 --> 00:11:17,344
- Drop it low.
I'm--I'm--
311
00:11:21,862 --> 00:11:23,689
All right. Okay.
Sorry, y'all.
312
00:11:23,758 --> 00:11:26,379
That was the wrong video.
313
00:11:26,448 --> 00:11:27,586
- Well, who was that for?
314
00:11:27,655 --> 00:11:29,068
- That was for my pastor.
315
00:11:31,103 --> 00:11:33,034
- Hey, hey, Denise.
Nobody wanna see that mess.
316
00:11:33,103 --> 00:11:35,034
And I don't need any help.
Let me loose!
317
00:11:35,103 --> 00:11:37,344
- Okay, kids,
would you like to start?
318
00:11:37,413 --> 00:11:39,137
- Okay, all right.
319
00:11:39,206 --> 00:11:41,862
Look, Dad, seeing you upstairs,
320
00:11:41,931 --> 00:11:44,413
desperate for your last pill
like that,
321
00:11:44,482 --> 00:11:46,379
it really--it freaked me out.
322
00:11:46,448 --> 00:11:48,172
- I'm sorry you had
to see all that, baby girl.
323
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:50,482
That was in a moment
of weakness, huh?
324
00:11:50,551 --> 00:11:52,586
My--my knees were acting up.
325
00:11:52,655 --> 00:11:54,724
- Ohh, T.
326
00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:58,827
Now you might've started
them lil' pills
327
00:11:58,896 --> 00:12:02,965
to heal
your crooked-ass knee...
328
00:12:03,034 --> 00:12:07,206
but whatever you're trying
to fix with 'em now, T,
329
00:12:07,275 --> 00:12:10,275
I promise you, drugs ain't
gonna heal that shit!
330
00:12:10,344 --> 00:12:12,758
- Yes.
- Ain't no drugs, Denise.
331
00:12:12,827 --> 00:12:17,103
Okay, now look, the doctor
prescribed me pain medication.
332
00:12:17,172 --> 00:12:18,793
It's legal, woman, all right?
333
00:12:18,862 --> 00:12:20,103
I could quit anytime I want.
334
00:12:20,172 --> 00:12:22,724
- "Quit anytime I want to."
Okay.
335
00:12:22,793 --> 00:12:24,310
That's the--
that's the first line
336
00:12:24,379 --> 00:12:26,482
out the junkie handbook.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
337
00:12:26,551 --> 00:12:28,000
Look, look, look, look, look,
look, look, look, look, look.
338
00:12:28,068 --> 00:12:29,758
If y'all concerned
about addiction,
339
00:12:29,827 --> 00:12:31,068
y'all need to be looking
at your mama.
340
00:12:31,137 --> 00:12:33,551
- [groans]
You can't be addicted
341
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:35,862
to fast food, Dad.
342
00:12:37,241 --> 00:12:39,965
- Well, actually--
- That's not the point.
343
00:12:40,034 --> 00:12:42,758
- That woman is addicted
to her career, her phone.
344
00:12:42,827 --> 00:12:44,068
- Okay, that's not nottrue.
345
00:12:44,137 --> 00:12:45,344
- Look, ever since
she blowing up,
346
00:12:45,413 --> 00:12:46,620
we-where she been, huh?
Matter of fact,
347
00:12:46,689 --> 00:12:47,862
where she at right now, huh?
348
00:12:47,931 --> 00:12:49,689
- She's working.
349
00:12:49,758 --> 00:12:51,137
- Working?
[chuckles]
350
00:12:51,206 --> 00:12:52,965
Working on everything else
but this family.
351
00:12:53,034 --> 00:12:55,965
Brandon got kids having
they mama to buy his pornos.
352
00:12:56,034 --> 00:12:58,827
Junebug had a pregnancy scare.
353
00:12:58,896 --> 00:13:00,724
- And let's not forget
about Janelle sending
354
00:13:00,793 --> 00:13:02,758
her titty pics
all over creation.
355
00:13:02,827 --> 00:13:04,172
[laughs] 'Cause that one was--
356
00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:07,275
- Wait a minute. Excuse me?
- [clears throat]
357
00:13:09,275 --> 00:13:13,586
Ah, he didn't know
about that one, did he?
358
00:13:13,655 --> 00:13:14,551
- Die!
- Aah!
359
00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:15,896
- Oh, my God.
360
00:13:15,965 --> 00:13:19,206
- ♪ There's a hero ♪
361
00:13:19,275 --> 00:13:20,931
♪ If you look ♪
- Denise!
362
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,068
- ♪ Inside your heart ♪
- Uncuff me!
363
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,103
- [continues singing]
- Move out the way.
364
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,862
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
365
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:30,448
- [sighs] Hey, Dad, you did
a good job fixing the pipes.
366
00:13:30,517 --> 00:13:33,758
There's water leaking
everywhere.
367
00:13:33,827 --> 00:13:34,896
- Yeah,
I just called the plumber.
368
00:13:34,965 --> 00:13:36,034
He'll be here in the morning.
369
00:13:36,103 --> 00:13:37,344
- We don't need no plumber,
Brandon.
370
00:13:37,413 --> 00:13:39,413
Y'all just let me handle it,
son, okay?
371
00:13:39,482 --> 00:13:41,862
- No. No, not until
you admit you have a problem.
372
00:13:41,931 --> 00:13:43,137
- Baby girl,
I ain't got no problem.
373
00:13:43,206 --> 00:13:44,448
What you talking about, huh?
374
00:13:44,517 --> 00:13:46,413
[overlapping chatter]
My knee's messed up.
375
00:13:46,482 --> 00:13:49,103
I gotta take the medicine
for pain, y'all.
376
00:13:49,172 --> 00:13:51,034
Look, look, look, look.
Just uncuff me,
377
00:13:51,103 --> 00:13:52,275
and let's just talk about it.
378
00:13:52,344 --> 00:13:55,241
- What the hell is going on
in here?
379
00:13:55,310 --> 00:13:56,586
- Oh, hey, Ma.
380
00:13:56,655 --> 00:13:57,793
I thought you were on your way
381
00:13:57,862 --> 00:13:59,103
to the airport to go to Miami.
382
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,448
- I was,
but I left my damn phone,
383
00:14:00,517 --> 00:14:02,000
so I had to come back.
And why the hell
384
00:14:02,068 --> 00:14:03,413
y'all got your daddy tied up
385
00:14:03,482 --> 00:14:07,310
like he owe somebody
child support or some shit?
386
00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:09,793
- Well, Pat, I'm--
I'm leading a intervention.
387
00:14:09,862 --> 00:14:11,241
- A intervention?
Denise, I told you,
388
00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:12,862
this is the last person
that needs a damn--
389
00:14:12,931 --> 00:14:14,413
- No, Mom. It is real.
390
00:14:14,482 --> 00:14:16,275
Dad tried to break
the sink upstairs
391
00:14:16,344 --> 00:14:17,758
trying to get to his last pill.
392
00:14:17,827 --> 00:14:20,413
[clattering]
393
00:14:20,482 --> 00:14:22,482
- Damn, Terry.
You did all this?
394
00:14:22,551 --> 00:14:23,931
- Yeah.
395
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,137
- Okay, everybody get out
of the room.
396
00:14:26,206 --> 00:14:28,068
I need to have a talk
with your daddy.
397
00:14:28,137 --> 00:14:29,896
- All right, let me unlock
the handcuffs first.
398
00:14:29,965 --> 00:14:31,137
- No.
399
00:14:31,206 --> 00:14:32,551
Leave him as he is.
400
00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:34,103
- What the hell?
401
00:14:35,310 --> 00:14:38,724
- [sniffles]
Father God,
402
00:14:38,793 --> 00:14:43,000
please don't let my mama kill
my only good daddy.
403
00:14:49,310 --> 00:14:51,000
- A couple weeks ago,
you were cheating with a skank.
404
00:14:51,068 --> 00:14:52,275
Now you popping pills.
- You know damn well
405
00:14:52,344 --> 00:14:53,344
I never cheated.
- What the fuck is going on--
406
00:14:53,413 --> 00:14:55,068
- I can't do this, Pat!
Not now!
407
00:14:55,137 --> 00:14:56,793
All right?
What you come home for anyways?
408
00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:58,931
You should've just waited it
out at the airport, girl.
409
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,965
- I told you
I left my damn phone.
410
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:03,482
- Ohh, there it is.
411
00:15:03,551 --> 00:15:05,965
Lord knows you can't do without
that phone for five minutes.
412
00:15:06,034 --> 00:15:07,827
[scoffs]
- This is not about me.
413
00:15:07,896 --> 00:15:08,931
- Oh, yes, it is.
414
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,275
Halfway through
my intervention,
415
00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:11,862
the kids realized
that you need an intervention
416
00:15:11,931 --> 00:15:13,000
just as bad as me.
417
00:15:13,068 --> 00:15:14,620
- Man, fuck them kids!
418
00:15:21,206 --> 00:15:23,448
And they need to mind
they damn business too.
419
00:15:23,517 --> 00:15:25,551
- You're addicted
to your career, your phone,
420
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:27,793
fame, uh, likes, clicks,
421
00:15:27,862 --> 00:15:29,137
the red carpet events.
422
00:15:29,206 --> 00:15:30,655
- Man, you are a pill popper,
423
00:15:30,724 --> 00:15:32,551
and you stepped
outside the marriage, okay?
424
00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:35,000
I like Facebook!
That is not the same!
425
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,517
- You gonna let me talk,
426
00:15:36,586 --> 00:15:40,068
or is this just another episode
of "The Ms. Pat Show"?
427
00:15:40,137 --> 00:15:42,620
- You know what?
A real husband support a woman
428
00:15:42,689 --> 00:15:45,034
who has the balls
to follow her dreams.
429
00:15:45,103 --> 00:15:47,206
Your ass up here having
an emotional affair
430
00:15:47,275 --> 00:15:48,689
and popping pills for peace.
431
00:15:48,758 --> 00:15:51,137
That is not how you support
your fucking wife, Terry!
432
00:15:51,206 --> 00:15:53,931
- Baby, I--
- Don't "baby" me, nigga.
433
00:15:56,793 --> 00:15:58,482
- God damn.
434
00:15:58,551 --> 00:16:00,689
- Man, they're not
even listening
435
00:16:00,758 --> 00:16:01,862
to each other anymore.
436
00:16:01,931 --> 00:16:04,034
- I know.
That's never a good sign.
437
00:16:04,103 --> 00:16:05,620
- Shit, y'all.
438
00:16:05,689 --> 00:16:07,793
All those two have been through
in the past year,
439
00:16:07,862 --> 00:16:09,206
I don't think they can handle
440
00:16:09,275 --> 00:16:11,655
another knock-down,
drag-out fight like this.
441
00:16:11,724 --> 00:16:14,965
- What do you mean?
Like, a divorce?
442
00:16:15,034 --> 00:16:16,344
- Oh, now come on.
443
00:16:16,413 --> 00:16:18,034
Don't be throwing out
the D-word.
444
00:16:18,103 --> 00:16:21,413
- D-word cannot be "divorce"
'cause it's already "dick."
445
00:16:33,068 --> 00:16:35,275
Everybody knows that.
446
00:16:35,344 --> 00:16:37,482
- Okay, well--well, look.
447
00:16:37,551 --> 00:16:40,689
That can't happen, all right,
so somebody needs to step in,
448
00:16:40,758 --> 00:16:42,344
um, uh, somebody qualified.
449
00:16:42,413 --> 00:16:43,862
- Agreed. I'm calling Ashley.
450
00:16:43,931 --> 00:16:45,310
- Mm, good call.
451
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,103
She's a therapist.
She could therapize.
452
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:49,275
- Mm-hmm.
- Ashley ain't gonna wanna
453
00:16:49,344 --> 00:16:51,241
come over here on her day off
454
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:53,551
to help them
with they bullshit.
455
00:16:53,620 --> 00:16:55,137
- So what do you want me
to say?
456
00:16:55,206 --> 00:16:57,344
- I don't know, nigga.
Just lie.
457
00:16:59,379 --> 00:17:00,482
- Ohh.
458
00:17:00,551 --> 00:17:02,310
[doorbell rings]
459
00:17:02,379 --> 00:17:04,517
- I'm glad I found my phone.
460
00:17:08,793 --> 00:17:12,068
If I wasn't mad at your ass,
this might be sexy.
461
00:17:14,137 --> 00:17:17,344
- Hey!
Birthday Queen in the house.
462
00:17:17,413 --> 00:17:19,241
- What the hell
are you talkin' about?
463
00:17:19,310 --> 00:17:21,000
- Ah, you trying
to hide the surprise, Ma.
464
00:17:21,068 --> 00:17:23,103
That's cute.
[laughs]
465
00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:24,689
Where are the streamers
and balloons?
466
00:17:24,758 --> 00:17:26,413
Brandon said y'all got me
a ice cream cake?
467
00:17:26,482 --> 00:17:28,137
Now did we do
Fudgie the Whale or--
468
00:17:28,206 --> 00:17:31,413
- Why the hell would we buy
your old ass a ice cream cake?
469
00:17:31,482 --> 00:17:33,793
- For my birthday,
which y'all forgot last week.
470
00:17:33,862 --> 00:17:35,310
- Sounds like something
that a woman
471
00:17:35,379 --> 00:17:38,103
who ignores her family
would do.
472
00:17:38,172 --> 00:17:40,931
- Nigga, you forgot
her birthday too.
473
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,275
- I'm addicted to pills,
remember?
474
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,172
I mean, at least
I got an excuse.
475
00:17:50,241 --> 00:17:53,517
- Okay, so clearly Brandon lied
to get me over here, didn't he?
476
00:17:53,586 --> 00:17:55,206
- He probably told you
we was having problems,
477
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,034
but we not, so happy birthday.
478
00:17:57,103 --> 00:17:58,620
- Yes, yes.
Happy birthday, Princess.
479
00:17:58,689 --> 00:18:00,413
And you can go ahead on
and go home,
480
00:18:00,482 --> 00:18:02,068
'cause once she takes
responsibilities
481
00:18:02,137 --> 00:18:04,862
for her actions, this whole
thing is gonna be over.
482
00:18:04,931 --> 00:18:06,448
- Responsibility for my action?
483
00:18:06,517 --> 00:18:08,137
You the one betrayed my trust.
484
00:18:08,206 --> 00:18:09,827
- I betrayed your trust?
485
00:18:09,896 --> 00:18:13,275
You had an abortion
without telling me!
486
00:18:13,344 --> 00:18:14,517
- Man, quit bringing up
old shit.
487
00:18:14,586 --> 00:18:16,655
That baby gone.
- You know what?
488
00:18:20,344 --> 00:18:21,827
[clattering]
489
00:18:21,896 --> 00:18:23,965
Sh--here we go again.
490
00:18:24,034 --> 00:18:25,724
- Did you turn
the damn valves off, Terry?
491
00:18:25,793 --> 00:18:27,448
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, baby.
This is serious.
492
00:18:27,517 --> 00:18:29,206
So somebody just need
to come on and uncuff me
493
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:32,758
before we all be swimming
in bed tonight.
494
00:18:32,827 --> 00:18:33,896
- Ma?
495
00:18:33,965 --> 00:18:36,103
- Let that motherfucker drown.
496
00:18:37,862 --> 00:18:39,655
- Ma.
497
00:18:51,310 --> 00:18:52,620
- Come on, baby.
498
00:18:52,689 --> 00:18:54,275
- [sighs]
499
00:18:54,344 --> 00:18:56,517
Gosh, what is on these things,
lube?
500
00:18:56,586 --> 00:18:58,655
- [groans]
I hope that's what it is.
501
00:18:58,724 --> 00:19:00,310
- Ugh!
502
00:19:02,103 --> 00:19:03,793
- Thank you, baby.
[groans]
503
00:19:03,862 --> 00:19:06,655
[wincing]
504
00:19:06,724 --> 00:19:08,379
- Psst.
[no audible dialogue]
505
00:19:09,724 --> 00:19:11,655
- [clears throat]
I had no idea
506
00:19:11,724 --> 00:19:14,000
things were this bad
with you two.
507
00:19:14,068 --> 00:19:16,137
Y'all both gotta learn
to breathe and calm down
508
00:19:16,206 --> 00:19:17,862
during these difficult
conversations.
509
00:19:17,931 --> 00:19:19,896
And you need to listen
to what he's saying.
510
00:19:19,965 --> 00:19:21,034
You don't listen, Ma.
511
00:19:21,103 --> 00:19:22,758
[all agreeing]
- Amen!
512
00:19:25,241 --> 00:19:28,551
- Huh, what? Man, your daddy
don't make no damn sense, okay?
513
00:19:28,620 --> 00:19:31,379
He want me to drop everything
I've worked so hard for
514
00:19:31,448 --> 00:19:33,620
to sit at home
with his needy ass.
515
00:19:33,689 --> 00:19:36,275
- Look, Ma, your dreams
are important, okay?
516
00:19:36,344 --> 00:19:37,724
And Daddy's not asking you
to drop them.
517
00:19:37,793 --> 00:19:39,655
He just wants to feel like
he's important too.
518
00:19:39,724 --> 00:19:41,620
- He is impo--
[all agreeing]
519
00:19:45,655 --> 00:19:47,275
He is important.
I'm the one that still
520
00:19:47,344 --> 00:19:48,862
fold his big-ass drawers.
521
00:19:48,931 --> 00:19:51,620
Look, Ashley, I grew up with
a hustling mentality, okay?
522
00:19:51,689 --> 00:19:53,724
I gotta grab every opportunity
when I can
523
00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:55,275
'cause it might not
be there anymore.
524
00:19:55,344 --> 00:19:56,482
- Okay, but do you really need
525
00:19:56,551 --> 00:19:58,689
to take every single
opportunity--
526
00:19:58,758 --> 00:20:00,793
even if it's at the cost
of your family's happiness?
527
00:20:00,862 --> 00:20:03,241
[all agreeing]
- You preaching now.
528
00:20:03,310 --> 00:20:05,896
- Trying to go to Miami
by your damn self.
529
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:13,517
- Why you wet?
I thought you had
530
00:20:13,586 --> 00:20:15,172
everything under control.
531
00:20:15,241 --> 00:20:17,517
- [sighs] Ashley, can we have
some privacy, please?
532
00:20:17,586 --> 00:20:20,344
And I promise
that we gonna be calm
533
00:20:20,413 --> 00:20:23,172
and talk like mature adults.
534
00:20:23,241 --> 00:20:24,965
- Okay, sure.
535
00:20:25,034 --> 00:20:27,000
But I'm gonna remove
any potential weapons
536
00:20:27,068 --> 00:20:28,241
just in case.
537
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,620
- Potential weapons?
- Mm-hmm.
538
00:20:29,689 --> 00:20:33,172
One and two.
539
00:20:37,931 --> 00:20:39,862
Carry on.
540
00:20:39,931 --> 00:20:41,896
Wow, great birthday party,
guys.
541
00:20:41,965 --> 00:20:43,379
Thanks a lot for that.
542
00:20:43,448 --> 00:20:45,482
- Okay, so we lied
for an emergency.
543
00:20:45,551 --> 00:20:47,275
Don't make a big deal
out the bullshit.
544
00:20:47,344 --> 00:20:50,482
- Well, I did the best I could,
545
00:20:50,551 --> 00:20:52,551
but those two can only heal
themselves.
546
00:20:52,620 --> 00:20:54,482
- Okay, then it's time
for me to go back in,
547
00:20:54,551 --> 00:20:56,344
you know,
rough 'em up a lil' bit.
548
00:20:56,413 --> 00:20:58,413
Yeah, 'cause sometimes
physical violence
549
00:20:58,482 --> 00:21:01,586
is the only way to help people
that you care about.
550
00:21:01,655 --> 00:21:03,793
- U-uh, hold on,
Denise Mayweather.
551
00:21:05,517 --> 00:21:07,827
Okay, that's not
what they need right now.
552
00:21:07,896 --> 00:21:11,620
What they need is a soft,
soothing presence, like me...
553
00:21:11,689 --> 00:21:14,931
[as Morgan Freeman] And my
Morgan Freeman-like voice.
554
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,724
- No.
No, they do not need to hear
555
00:21:16,793 --> 00:21:18,482
from an impressionist stripper.
556
00:21:18,551 --> 00:21:20,862
They need someone like me,
an empath.
557
00:21:20,931 --> 00:21:22,379
- Oh, sit down, clown.
558
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,931
I'm tellin' y'all,
559
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,862
a good ass whupping would
diffuse this entire thing.
560
00:21:26,931 --> 00:21:28,758
See, if I go back in there
and I beat Pat's ass,
561
00:21:28,827 --> 00:21:30,275
and then when Terry jump in
to defend her,
562
00:21:30,344 --> 00:21:32,413
I beat his ass too.
563
00:21:34,137 --> 00:21:35,517
- That is a horrible idea.
564
00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:36,896
- Well, why don't you come
with me?
565
00:21:36,965 --> 00:21:38,724
Didn't they forget
your fucking birthday?
566
00:21:38,793 --> 00:21:40,310
- You right. I'm with Auntie.
- No. No.
567
00:21:40,379 --> 00:21:41,413
- Hey, hey, hey!
568
00:21:41,482 --> 00:21:43,000
As tempting as that sounds,
569
00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:44,068
y'all know we can't do that.
570
00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:46,241
Put them scissors down.
571
00:21:46,310 --> 00:21:48,482
- Well, what's your solution?
Because Ashley didn't last
572
00:21:48,551 --> 00:21:49,862
two minutes in there with 'em.
573
00:21:49,931 --> 00:21:51,206
- Okay, well,
why don't you play them
574
00:21:51,275 --> 00:21:52,379
another one
of your twerk videos?
575
00:21:52,448 --> 00:21:53,758
- Oop.
- Maybe that'll help.
576
00:21:53,827 --> 00:21:55,482
- Now which one
of y'all niggas told her that?
577
00:21:55,551 --> 00:21:58,620
[overlapping chatter]
578
00:22:02,758 --> 00:22:05,206
- This is me. This is me.
- You cannot do that. Stop.
579
00:22:05,275 --> 00:22:06,689
- We are...
all: [angrily] ♪ A family ♪
580
00:22:06,758 --> 00:22:08,965
♪ Like a giant tree! ♪
581
00:22:09,034 --> 00:22:10,655
♪ Branching out
toward the sky ♪
582
00:22:10,724 --> 00:22:12,586
♪ We are a family ♪
583
00:22:12,655 --> 00:22:14,448
♪ We are so much more ♪
584
00:22:14,517 --> 00:22:16,413
♪ Than just you and I ♪
585
00:22:22,482 --> 00:22:24,551
- Pipe started leaking again.
586
00:22:24,620 --> 00:22:26,448
I just--
I just can't seem to fix it.
587
00:22:26,517 --> 00:22:27,517
Baby, where you going?
588
00:22:27,586 --> 00:22:29,000
- I'm going back
to the airport.
589
00:22:29,068 --> 00:22:30,448
- All this trouble that
this family's going through
590
00:22:30,517 --> 00:22:31,896
and you 'bout to run out on me?
591
00:22:31,965 --> 00:22:33,206
- What do you mean,
run out on you?
592
00:22:33,275 --> 00:22:34,620
You know I got a trip to Miami.
593
00:22:34,689 --> 00:22:35,724
Why are you tripping?
- Look, look, look.
594
00:22:35,793 --> 00:22:37,000
I don't want it
to be like this.
595
00:22:37,068 --> 00:22:39,275
Look at us.
596
00:22:39,344 --> 00:22:41,551
I've been thinking, I'm ashamed
of my actions, okay?
597
00:22:41,620 --> 00:22:43,137
I've been getting out of hand
with the Oxy,
598
00:22:43,206 --> 00:22:46,241
and that ends today, all right?
599
00:22:46,310 --> 00:22:49,034
And believe it or not, I never
was gonna cheat with Michelle.
600
00:22:49,103 --> 00:22:50,379
- You could've fooled the hell
out of me.
601
00:22:50,448 --> 00:22:53,241
- Baby, let me finish.
602
00:22:53,310 --> 00:22:55,758
I know I shouldn't have been
texting her so much, a'ight.
603
00:22:55,827 --> 00:22:58,034
The roles reversed--if you was
texting another man like that,
604
00:22:58,103 --> 00:23:00,379
I would--but...
605
00:23:00,448 --> 00:23:03,413
I just thought
it was innocent at the time.
606
00:23:03,482 --> 00:23:04,931
Baby, I was completely wrong.
607
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,068
- Hm, keep talkin'.
608
00:23:07,137 --> 00:23:09,724
- It's just, uh,
609
00:23:09,793 --> 00:23:12,482
the pills made it feel better.
610
00:23:12,551 --> 00:23:16,551
Talking to Michelle
made it feel better.
611
00:23:16,620 --> 00:23:17,655
- Made what feel better?
612
00:23:17,724 --> 00:23:18,793
- The fact that you, um...
613
00:23:18,862 --> 00:23:20,206
- I what?
- You never gonna
614
00:23:20,275 --> 00:23:21,310
need me anymore.
615
00:23:21,379 --> 00:23:22,413
- Terry.
616
00:23:22,482 --> 00:23:23,724
- It's hard to admit, baby,
617
00:23:23,793 --> 00:23:27,310
but I...
618
00:23:27,379 --> 00:23:28,551
been lonely.
619
00:23:30,344 --> 00:23:31,517
- How the hell are you lonely
620
00:23:31,586 --> 00:23:33,000
when I'm here with you
every damn day?
621
00:23:33,068 --> 00:23:34,413
- I know, baby,
but even when you here,
622
00:23:34,482 --> 00:23:36,482
you're buried in your phone
or your podcast.
623
00:23:36,551 --> 00:23:38,965
I ain't no placeholder, baby.
I need affection,
624
00:23:39,034 --> 00:23:41,344
attention, and love,
like you used to give me.
625
00:23:41,413 --> 00:23:43,448
You remember that? Huh?
626
00:23:43,517 --> 00:23:45,793
Baby, we got something special,
627
00:23:45,862 --> 00:23:49,379
and I wanna keep it that way.
628
00:23:54,862 --> 00:23:56,758
- Wow.
629
00:23:56,827 --> 00:23:58,413
That speech right there...
630
00:23:58,482 --> 00:24:00,137
- Mm-hmm.
631
00:24:00,206 --> 00:24:02,275
- Is the most manipulative shit
I've ever heard you say.
632
00:24:02,344 --> 00:24:03,896
- Manipulative?
633
00:24:03,965 --> 00:24:05,689
This family is struggling, Pat.
634
00:24:05,758 --> 00:24:08,448
I've been in so much pain,
you ain't even noticed.
635
00:24:08,517 --> 00:24:09,586
- Oh, I've noticed
the way you been
636
00:24:09,655 --> 00:24:11,000
running around here
crying and shit.
637
00:24:11,068 --> 00:24:13,206
- Well, I am so sorry
that I inconvenienced you.
638
00:24:13,275 --> 00:24:15,241
- Why I gotta be the one
that's responsible
639
00:24:15,310 --> 00:24:18,413
for everything that goes on
in this damn family, huh?
640
00:24:18,482 --> 00:24:20,310
You supposed
to be taking care of me!
641
00:24:20,379 --> 00:24:23,758
- We supposed to be taking care
of each other!
642
00:24:27,379 --> 00:24:30,000
You're being selfish, Pat.
643
00:24:30,068 --> 00:24:32,172
- You damn right I am, 'cause
when the roles were reversed
644
00:24:32,241 --> 00:24:34,000
and you was making
the most money, guess what?
645
00:24:34,068 --> 00:24:36,275
I had to sit there
and be pretty and cheer you on
646
00:24:36,344 --> 00:24:38,310
'cause I was a fuckin' woman.
647
00:24:38,379 --> 00:24:39,586
- That's not true.
648
00:24:39,655 --> 00:24:41,344
- Dude, I did karaoke
at your job,
649
00:24:41,413 --> 00:24:42,689
looking like a goddamn fool.
650
00:24:42,758 --> 00:24:44,793
For what?
Your career. Huh?
651
00:24:44,862 --> 00:24:46,620
This is my chance
to be fuckin' selfish
652
00:24:46,689 --> 00:24:48,000
for once in a lifetime.
653
00:24:48,068 --> 00:24:49,793
- "I," "my,"
654
00:24:49,862 --> 00:24:52,034
those the words that you've
been using lately.
655
00:24:52,103 --> 00:24:54,172
Is this your marriage
or our marriage?
656
00:24:54,241 --> 00:24:55,655
- Mine, fool!
657
00:24:55,724 --> 00:24:58,103
I'm trying to get you out
this fuckin' factory.
658
00:24:58,172 --> 00:25:00,482
Why don't you want me out here
selling tickets, huh?
659
00:25:00,551 --> 00:25:02,000
I'm not doing this for me!
660
00:25:02,068 --> 00:25:04,931
I'm doing this
for all you selfish assholes!
661
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,275
- Is that how you gonna talk
about your family, really, Pat?
662
00:25:07,344 --> 00:25:09,068
'Cause it seems to me
that you don't give
663
00:25:09,137 --> 00:25:11,000
a damn about your own family--
- Mom, Dad, stop!
664
00:25:11,068 --> 00:25:12,620
Jesus!
665
00:25:13,931 --> 00:25:16,482
A-and I don't mean
to use his name in vain,
666
00:25:16,551 --> 00:25:19,103
but clearly we need him
right now.
667
00:25:21,482 --> 00:25:23,827
Listen to yourselves.
668
00:25:23,896 --> 00:25:26,344
Y'all sound like
you hate each other.
669
00:25:26,413 --> 00:25:28,517
- Junebug, it's not like that--
- Let me finish, Ma.
670
00:25:28,586 --> 00:25:29,965
- Excuse me?
- Pat.
671
00:25:31,620 --> 00:25:33,551
Go ahead, son.
672
00:25:40,034 --> 00:25:43,448
- Sergio's parents
just got divorced.
673
00:25:43,517 --> 00:25:46,000
And he doesn't even smile
anymore.
674
00:25:47,758 --> 00:25:50,137
Please don't make me go
through that.
675
00:25:50,206 --> 00:25:52,103
Okay?
Look, I--
676
00:25:52,172 --> 00:25:56,586
I would die
if this family split up.
677
00:25:56,655 --> 00:25:57,965
- We must've really fucked up.
678
00:25:58,034 --> 00:26:00,965
We got this lil'
asshole crying.
679
00:26:05,896 --> 00:26:09,344
- Your mom and I do not
hate each other, son.
680
00:26:09,413 --> 00:26:12,206
You hear me? Do you?
681
00:26:12,275 --> 00:26:14,724
- Yeah, I hear you.
682
00:26:14,793 --> 00:26:17,379
- And we ain't never
getting divorced.
683
00:26:17,448 --> 00:26:20,068
- Not unless one
of us die first.
684
00:26:21,482 --> 00:26:24,034
- Yeah, and that's
what I'm worried about.
685
00:26:24,103 --> 00:26:27,068
- Boy, please.
I'm not gon' kill him.
686
00:26:27,137 --> 00:26:29,586
I might poison him,
but I ain't gonna kill him.
687
00:26:34,724 --> 00:26:36,103
- I'm sorry
I made you feel like
688
00:26:36,172 --> 00:26:39,689
I didn't want you
to follow your dreams, baby.
689
00:26:39,758 --> 00:26:42,034
I just been feeling insecure.
690
00:26:42,103 --> 00:26:45,206
Yeah, you bringing
in real money now.
691
00:26:45,275 --> 00:26:46,517
- That's stupid.
692
00:26:46,586 --> 00:26:48,655
You think that's all
we need you for is money?
693
00:26:48,724 --> 00:26:50,206
We need you for everything
around here.
694
00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:53,000
I mean, you hold down
this fort from day one.
695
00:26:53,068 --> 00:26:56,310
- I appreciate that, baby,
and I support everything
696
00:26:56,379 --> 00:27:00,517
that you do, but it ain't
been easy, you know?
697
00:27:00,586 --> 00:27:02,413
Down at the plant?
698
00:27:02,482 --> 00:27:04,793
Someone called me Mr. Pat.
699
00:27:04,862 --> 00:27:07,344
- [laughs] Mr. Pat.
700
00:27:07,413 --> 00:27:09,000
That's not funny, but--
701
00:27:09,068 --> 00:27:10,448
- No, it's fuckin' funny.
702
00:27:10,517 --> 00:27:12,310
Like, Mr. Pat.
[mumbling]
703
00:27:12,379 --> 00:27:14,931
- I'm supposed
to be your provider.
704
00:27:16,448 --> 00:27:19,172
That kind of mess makes me feel
neutered,
705
00:27:19,241 --> 00:27:23,655
like our dynamic has changed
now since your rise.
706
00:27:23,724 --> 00:27:25,862
- I mean, you arrived too.
707
00:27:25,931 --> 00:27:27,172
You just got a promotion.
708
00:27:27,241 --> 00:27:28,896
- Come on, baby.
I got a 6% raise.
709
00:27:28,965 --> 00:27:30,827
You legit gonna be famous.
710
00:27:30,896 --> 00:27:32,482
It's different.
711
00:27:32,551 --> 00:27:34,620
- Yeah, it's true.
712
00:27:34,689 --> 00:27:37,931
I mean, this time next year,
you could be on the D-list, Ma.
713
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,758
Look at Evelyn Lozada.
714
00:27:53,931 --> 00:27:56,413
- Shut the hell up, okay?
715
00:27:58,517 --> 00:28:01,068
And you anything but neutered,
and don't I know that.
716
00:28:01,137 --> 00:28:02,413
- Oh, that's nasty.
- All right, I'ma head out.
717
00:28:02,482 --> 00:28:03,793
- That's disgusting.
718
00:28:05,172 --> 00:28:06,862
- And you always gonna be
the man of this house,
719
00:28:06,931 --> 00:28:09,241
no matter how big
my career get.
720
00:28:09,310 --> 00:28:11,034
And it's gonna get
plenty big too.
721
00:28:11,103 --> 00:28:13,586
- Heck yeah, it is.
722
00:28:13,655 --> 00:28:15,137
- See?
723
00:28:15,206 --> 00:28:17,137
Change ain't always
a bad thing.
724
00:28:17,206 --> 00:28:19,206
And I been through
a lot of changes.
725
00:28:19,275 --> 00:28:20,965
And some of them bitches
been pretty good.
726
00:28:21,034 --> 00:28:23,827
- Yeah, except
for that Jheri curl
727
00:28:23,896 --> 00:28:25,620
you used to rock
back in the day.
728
00:28:25,689 --> 00:28:27,586
That was a bad, bad change.
729
00:28:27,655 --> 00:28:29,862
- [laughs] And you used
to have his mustache too.
730
00:28:29,931 --> 00:28:31,551
- Oop.
- Your remember that?
731
00:28:31,620 --> 00:28:32,620
- Shut the hell up, Denise.
732
00:28:32,689 --> 00:28:34,068
We look just alike.
733
00:28:36,172 --> 00:28:39,344
- Does this mean
y'all gonna be all right?
734
00:28:39,413 --> 00:28:41,241
- 100.
735
00:28:41,310 --> 00:28:43,931
But this just ain't
about your mama and me.
736
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,413
We all gotta do better.
737
00:28:45,482 --> 00:28:47,448
This whole family needs
to get in line
738
00:28:47,517 --> 00:28:49,103
so she can make us rich
739
00:28:49,172 --> 00:28:52,655
and not worry
about us flooding the house.
740
00:28:52,724 --> 00:28:55,724
- Us?
Pop, that was you.
741
00:28:57,241 --> 00:28:59,793
- Listen to your mama
and shut up.
742
00:28:59,862 --> 00:29:01,724
You ready, baby?
- Yeah, I'm ready.
743
00:29:01,793 --> 00:29:03,724
- Come on.
- So y'all gonna be okay
744
00:29:03,793 --> 00:29:04,724
while I'm gone?
745
00:29:04,793 --> 00:29:06,103
- Mm-hmm.
746
00:29:06,172 --> 00:29:07,586
- I'm gonna be gone for a week.
747
00:29:07,655 --> 00:29:09,000
- Yeah, we are.
748
00:29:09,068 --> 00:29:10,482
- Yeah, I mean,
we gonna be all right.
749
00:29:10,551 --> 00:29:11,655
You know I got 'em.
750
00:29:11,724 --> 00:29:12,896
- And I got 'em
after she got 'em
751
00:29:12,965 --> 00:29:14,241
'cause she don't got 'em.
752
00:29:16,241 --> 00:29:18,137
- So I'll see y'all next week?
753
00:29:18,206 --> 00:29:19,620
- Bye, Ma. Love you.
- All right, Ma.
754
00:29:19,689 --> 00:29:20,793
- Be safe.
- Hey.
755
00:29:20,862 --> 00:29:24,172
Go on and kill 'em, Ms. Pat.
756
00:29:28,103 --> 00:29:29,517
Be safe, baby, all right?
757
00:29:29,586 --> 00:29:31,896
See you in a week.
758
00:29:31,965 --> 00:29:33,413
[cell phone chimes]
759
00:29:38,620 --> 00:29:40,241
- [sighs]
760
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,896
- What, Ma?
You forget something?
761
00:29:46,965 --> 00:29:49,206
- Okay, so which one of y'all
taking the next shift?
762
00:29:49,275 --> 00:29:50,620
- It ain't gonna be me.
- Don't look at me.
763
00:29:50,689 --> 00:29:52,000
Y'all know this
is my unofficial birthday trip.
764
00:29:52,068 --> 00:29:53,896
[overlapping chatter]
765
00:29:53,965 --> 00:29:55,137
- La la la la la.
766
00:29:55,206 --> 00:29:56,655
- No, no, no, no, no.
W-w-w-w-w-wait!
767
00:29:56,724 --> 00:29:57,931
Nose goes.
- Period.
768
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,758
- Ha! You was last.
- Bye!
769
00:29:59,827 --> 00:30:01,862
- Bye, bro!
- [laughs]
770
00:30:01,931 --> 00:30:04,344
[sighs]
771
00:30:04,413 --> 00:30:06,965
- Let me just grab
a few more of these.
772
00:30:09,413 --> 00:30:10,793
- [winces]
773
00:30:10,862 --> 00:30:12,517
How long you think it's been?
774
00:30:12,586 --> 00:30:14,827
- I don't know.
Who guarding the door?
775
00:30:14,896 --> 00:30:16,034
- Me.
776
00:30:16,103 --> 00:30:18,965
Everybody else went
to the beach.
777
00:30:19,034 --> 00:30:21,137
- How long we been in here,
Junebug?
778
00:30:22,758 --> 00:30:24,448
- 17 minutes.
779
00:30:24,517 --> 00:30:26,896
- Oh, fuck.
Can I just please have a hit?
780
00:30:26,965 --> 00:30:28,137
Did my agent call?
781
00:30:28,206 --> 00:30:30,931
Can I just look at Twitter
one time?
782
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,862
- That's not
how detox works, Ma.
783
00:30:33,931 --> 00:30:35,448
- But what if somebody
out there tagging
784
00:30:35,517 --> 00:30:39,379
a naked picture of me
from 1982?
785
00:30:39,448 --> 00:30:42,482
Huh? I need to see if my show
sold out this Friday.
786
00:30:42,551 --> 00:30:45,206
Can I please play Candy Crush?
Please?
787
00:30:45,275 --> 00:30:47,862
- [groans]
Hand me my aspirin, baby.
788
00:30:47,931 --> 00:30:49,448
- [mumbling angrily]
789
00:30:49,517 --> 00:30:52,448
- Why you think it's harder
for you to come off your phone
790
00:30:52,517 --> 00:30:54,068
than I am Oxy?
791
00:30:55,793 --> 00:30:58,517
- I just wanna take a picture
of this nice-ass hotel room.
792
00:30:58,586 --> 00:31:01,586
How else these niggas gonna
hate on us out here?
793
00:31:01,655 --> 00:31:03,344
- Just relax, baby.
794
00:31:03,413 --> 00:31:05,965
It's all gonna be over with
after a while.
795
00:31:09,862 --> 00:31:11,551
[sighs]
796
00:31:21,965 --> 00:31:24,137
How much longer now, Junebug?
797
00:31:24,206 --> 00:31:27,068
- At this point,
it doesn't even matter.
798
00:31:29,241 --> 00:31:34,310
♪ And then a hero comes along ♪
799
00:31:34,379 --> 00:31:37,241
♪ With the strength
to carry on ♪
800
00:31:38,655 --> 00:31:42,172
both: ♪ There's a hero
comes along ♪
801
00:31:42,241 --> 00:31:46,620
♪ With the strength
to carry on ♪
802
00:31:46,689 --> 00:31:49,000
- You my hero, baby.
803
00:31:54,068 --> 00:31:56,172
- ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪
804
00:31:56,241 --> 00:31:58,241
♪ And she don't
take no stuff ♪
805
00:31:58,310 --> 00:32:00,206
♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪
806
00:32:00,275 --> 00:32:02,793
♪ And you can't get enough ♪
807
00:32:02,862 --> 00:32:04,862
♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪
808
00:32:04,931 --> 00:32:06,931
♪ With three damn kids ♪
809
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:10,137
♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪
810
00:32:10,206 --> 00:32:15,965
♪ And it's
"The Ms. Pat Show" ♪
59130
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