Original subtitles

- "The Ms. Pat Show" is filmed

in front of a live studio audience.

- The internet is a place where pointless-ass people

get to have pointless-ass opinions.

And no matter how many good comments you get,

it's always one bucktooth, musty, mildew-breath,

backward belly button-ass nigga who gonna fuck up your day.

I don't know why we look to other people for validation.

But sometime, that backwards belly button-ass nigga

might have a pointless-ass point.

[laughter and cheers]

- Oh, my god, Pat, you having a stroke?

- My phone recognition is broke,

and my phone is blowing up, and I can't get in it.

- Oh, your phone didn't recognize you?

That's technology's way of telling you that you're old.

- Shut the fuck up.

- Good to know you ain't sensitive about it.

- Is Mama OK?

- You don't know the answer to that question by now?

Her phone blocked her out.

- Don't act like you don't know me, ho!

- Oh, God, Pat, just use mine.

I'll unlock it for you.

- What the fuck are you doing? - Making myself look good.

My phone ain't about to clown me.

- What are you looking for, Ma?

- Somebody posted that video of me dog-walking the shit

out of Tony Free at the studio.

- Dang, you're doing numbers, Ma.

Pretty soon, you gonna get recognized

at the grocery store.

- Mm-hmm, and not because they got your picture up

for forging checks this time.

- Wow, look at all those comments.

Ooh. "Ms. Pat is funny AF."

- Damn right she is.

- "Ms. Pat dropped Phony Free right in the dollar bin."

- Damn right she did.

- "What up, Ms. Pat?

What that old mouth do, though?"

- Sit yo ass down!

I'm gonna read that shit in private.

- ♪ Come on, it's time to go ♪

♪ It's "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪

- Hey, baby,

you coming to my company's karaoke night

Friday, right?

I gotta RSVP.

Oh, come on, baby.

Hey, you know what?

Look, I'll invite Denise, too. It'll be fun.

- What's fun about watching drunk people

fuck up good music?

- Nah, baby girl, I only work with good people.

- Boy, good people can't sing.

R. Kelly, Michael Jackson, Elvis, Chris Brown--

- Hey, well, look, look.

See, that is my buddy, Frank.

You met him.

And that is my boss, Max.

- Wait a minute, you got a Black boss?

- Oh, yeah.

He's pretty cool, too, so long as you don't

ask him about his family. - Wait a minute.

Slow your scroll. Go back. - What? What? What?

- Who is this young bitch with her arms

around you with no bra on?

- She's not wearing a bra?

- Oh, really? You don't see them titties?

Either you're lying or you're blind.

I can see that shit from space, Terry.

- Hey, whoa--now, baby, I don't be never

noticing nothing like that.

Uh-uh, I keep my eyes up here, you know?

I'm never looking anywhere lower than that.

- I didn't know you worked with good-looking women,

especially in a factory.

I was expecting beer guts and booty crack.

- [laughs] There's some women down there

that look like that.

- Nigga, I look like that. - Hey.

Look, now, you ain't never looked like that a day

in your life, so stop it, all right?

Now, I already promised Max that you'd come.

And he actually hit me up about that video

that's been going around about you

because he's dying to meet you.

- So now, you want me to kiss your boss ass?

- Nah,

but you can sniff it a little bit.

Look, baby, oh, it's very important

that we get in good with him, all right?

That supervisor position is opening up,

and I deserve that job.

That's big money.

- Yeah, it's my fault that you gotta work that hard.

That damn comedy tour money was gonna really set us up nice.

- Hey, baby, at least you got some attention from it, huh?

- You right.

And look at all these comments they said about me.

They think I'm funny as hell.

- Hey, hey, hey, now, you be careful reading all that,

all right?

You gotta take the good with the bad.

- No, they like my ass.

Look.

Wait a minute, let me see that. - Uh--

- What? - Nothing, baby.

Baby, let's just focus on the good comments.

- "Ms. Pat look like a plantation mammy."

Do I look like that?

- Can I answer it after you take that bandana off?

Look, look, look, baby, baby, baby--

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm just playing.

I'm just playing.

I don't know why you would read that mess anyways.

Who cares what some old thumb bullies be typing up?

- I care. You think I'm the only woman

on Earth that don't be stressing

about the way she look?

- I told you to stop reading all this hateration, girl.

- Do you know that today, my damn phone

wouldn't even let me in?

My iPhone think I'm getting old, Terry.

Fuck it, I'm not going out to no karaoke party

with them young bitches with them titties that sit upright.

- Hey, hey-- - They gonna laugh at me.

- Wait, look, wait, would you stop, OK?

Baby, you're a beautiful, strong, sexy woman, Pat.

- That's not what DickerLicker69 think.

[doorbell rings]

- What's good, Elizabeth?

- My privilege.

Oh, I just got out of three speeding tickets.

But that's not why I'm here.

I was wondering if I can use your living room

for a fill and chill party that I'm having.

- What the hell is a fill and chill party?

- It's a party where you get to chill,

and I fill you with fillers.

I'm getting my house painted tomorrow,

and it's too late to cancel.

It'll just be for a couple of hours.

I will shoot those ladies up and be right out of your way.

- Oh, we got records.

We can't be nowhere white womens get shot up at.

- What if I throw in free injections for you and Pat?

- Girl, we are Black.

We don't need no fillers.

We age gracefully 'cause God loves us more.

- You'll still ask Pat for me though, right?

- Yes, I will ask her.

- Oh, please, and thank you.

- Mm-hmm. - Ooh, I can't wait.

- Yeah, neither can those gullible, goofy bitches

that's gonna let you do that shit.

- Oh, hey, Ashley.

- Hey, Elizabeth.

- Hey, what's wrong with you?

- Look at this.

- Ooh, who is that?

That is a beautiful ring.

- That's Tanika's new fiancée.

- Now why'd she give her that ugly-ass ring?

- She's engaged to the trick she was cheating on me with.

- That little stud stealer.

- I can't believe she would do this.

Any time I ever brought up marriage to her,

she always acted like she wasn't into it.

- Well, not with you, apparently.

- Wow. Thanks, Auntie. So inspirational.

- Oh, OK, wait, wait.

Sit down.

Listen, I know you not gonna let that girl distract you

from your own life.

I thought you was over that.

You came out here, you started a whole new life.

Focus on that.

I mean, wasn't you just talking about a new girl

you met last week?

- I mean, yeah, but she's not what I normally go after.

- Well, what you normally go after is some bullshit.

You need to try something new.

You said she was sweet and adventurous.

That's what you need right now.

I'm just glad to see you getting back on the horse.

[laughs] Or in your case, the mechanical bull.

- You know what? You're right, Auntie.

I keep dating the same girl, getting the same outcome.

Maybe I need to try something different.

- Exactly.

So you gonna see her again? - Yeah.

Actually, we about to hit up Taco Tuesday.

- Oh, great. Make sure you wear a bib,

since you gonna be eating pussy.

- Why is everything about sex with this family?

We really going to get tacos.

- Mm-hmm. Whatever you say.

- So nasty.

Oh, my good God.

- Why you got all them colors on your face?

- I went down to the mall for that girl to do my makeup.

She said she was gonna contour my face,

and hide a little chin, and highlight my cheekbones.

- Well, you look like you fell off

the illiterate Reading Rainbow.

- Yeah, I'mma go, 'cause this giving Pennywise the clown,

and it's messing with my appetite.

Thanks, Auntie. Bye, Denise.

- Where she going? - To eat tacos.

- You know you can tell me she going to eat pussy, right?

- OK, Pat, what led to this makeover?

Or make-under, I should say.

- The bigger my video get online,

the more people talking shit about me.

And for some reason, I can't stop reading it.

- OK, well, what kind of mean shit they saying?

Let me hear one.

- "Ms. Pat look like a plantation mammy."

- [chuckles, coughing]

That's terrible, Pat.

Let me hear another one.

- "Bitch look like Ice Cube from the nose up."

- [laughs]

- Stop laughing.

- Oh, come on, Pat.

You could do it, put your back into it.

- Shit got me messed up.

And Terry down at the job with young girls

hugging on him with no bras on.

- Oh, Pat, now you got to work on your self-esteem.

You know you fine.

- I don't know shit.

- Pat, you are an unknown Black woman telling the truth

about a famous Black man.

They gonna call you everything in the book.

Black people will believe that sneezing was invented in a lab

before they believe that a Black legend

did some dirty shit.

- But what if they right?

- Well, I mean, if you really want

to tighten what nature loosened,

maybe some fillers wouldn't hurt.

- I'm not letting nobody stick no needles in my face.

Whatever happened to Black don't crack?

- Well, it don't crack,

but the foundation does shift just a little.

Listen, the only reason I bring it up

is because Elizabeth wants to have a filler party here.

And if you let her, we can get free injections.

- I don't know about all that.

- "Ms. Pat-- if she was a movie,

she'd be 'The Five Heart Failures.'"

- I'm coming, Elizabeth!

- [laughs] - Yes, sir.

- Like that, baby? - Yes.

- Yeah?

[laughs] Man, I didn't know having your girl come to work

could be so much fun. - And sexy.

I love watching you dance.

I can tell you're passionate about it.

- Yeah, something like that.

- Anybody ever tell you how proud they are of you?

- I'm a stripper that lives in his mother's basement.

What do you think?

- Mm, what am I gonna do with you?

- Girl, whatever you want. - Mm.

Can I propose something to you?

- It's a little early in the relationship

to talk about proposals, don't you think?

- [laughs] Not that.

Brandon, I'm a pansexual.

- Like, you be having sex with pots?

- No.

A pansexual is someone who's attracted to anyone,

no matter the gender--

emotionally,

romantically, sexually--

- And with pots?

- No pots, no pans.

I met somebody.

I really like their vibe.

And I think I want them to join us in bed.

What do you think?

- Call me Peter to your pan, then.

- Good.

I'll see you tomorrow night.

- Aight, bet.

- Hey, bro.

- Hey, listen, I think my girl wants me

to have a threesome with her. - Nice, boy.

- Yeah. - I had a threesome once.

Let's just say dude's aim was off, though.

To this day, I still can't use lotion if it squirt.

[door shuts]

- Hi, can I have everyone's attention?

Thank you all for coming.

Oh, and I want to make a special, special thank you

to Pat for hosting.

[light applause]

- Yeah, it's been a long time since I let people

use needles in my house.

But Elizabeth's good people.

- Oh, thank you, homie.

Now, ladies, you are about to experience a miracle

in the world of beauty.

It is the ToxFill.

That's right, the ToxFill is filled

with more toxins than a Flint, Michigan, drinking fountain.

- And they water still ain't clean.

- And all these things come together

to give you an ultimately magical, smoother look.

- Ooh.

- Toxic?

They putting poison in they face?

- So you didn't know that fillers had toxins in 'em?

- Girl, don't play with me.

You just realized paying your taxes at the store

ain't paying your taxes.

- Now, all we have to do is stick the needle

into her forehead, like so.

- She playing tic-tac-toe on that bitch head.

- Just trying to get all the hotspots.

- She got T-Mobile?

- Voila.

She is smoother than a baby's booty.

- She is smooth

as a one-armed nigga's nub.

- Real smooth.

Her forehead look like my inner thighs

after I've been walking on a treadmill.

- OK, I think we should roll up in Terry's job

looking extra fierce

and scare them young bitches into confusion.

- You ain't said nothing but a word.

both: We doing this shit.

[knocking on door]

[romantic R&B playing]

♪ ♪

- What took you so long?

- Wow, no girl's ever asked me that before.

- [laughs] Come on.

You sure you ready for this?

- [scoffs] What? Girl, come on.

I'm a grown man, all right?

Shoot, what you talking about?

[laughs]

Baby, where's the little boy's room?

- Gray door. - OK.

- Mm, mm, mm.

Whew.

You sure you want to do this?

- Yes, I just need to calm my nerves.

You got anything stronger than this?

- In the kitchen.

After my breakup, I promised myself

I would have less boundaries, be more open-minded.

- Well, your mind ain't the only thing I want to open.

Oh, you're gonna love his little outfit I picked out.

- His? What do you mean, his?

I thought this was a she.

- She? Oh, no, baby, it's a he.

But he got soft features.

- Wha--what?

Uh-uh, no.

I am a lesbian, gold star.

I thought you were too.

You didn't say you were bi.

- Isn't everybody? - [scoffs]

What in the hell? - Oh, hell no!

- Wait, you two know each other?

both: Yeah, that's my brother!

- I'm your sister, fool.

- Sorry, the blood done rushed to my other head.

- Y'all related?

Oh, so I guess the threesome is a no.

- It's a hell no.

- It's a fuck no.

- Ew.

When'd you get a tattoo on your ass?

- No!

Mm-mm, we not starting there.

How did this happen?

When did you start seeing Romona?

- [scoffs] Romona?

I know her as RoRo.

- Great, go-go.

- Fine, look, she came into the strip club, all right?

She was very direct and a little bit aggressive,

but in the best way.

I mean, every man's fantasy, really.

And plus... [exhales]

That ass.

- Ramona wasn't like that with me.

She was tender, patient, hilarious.

[laughs] And plus... [exhales]

That ass. - Mm-hmm.

- Ugh! This is some bullshit.

I cannot believe I had to see your scrawny ass half-naked.

- Well, I can't believe I had to see you half-naked,

with your thighs all out,

looking like you ain't got no mama.

- I really thought she was special.

I've never had a girl listen to me the way she did.

- Man, I know, right?

Oh, and the way that woman cooked just so--

- Wait, she cooked for you?

- Yeah, she ain't cook for you?

- No, but did she write a song on her guitar for you?

- Ha. RoRo ain't got no guitar.

- Yeah, RoRo do-do.

- Damn, I want a song.

I know it's good.

- And I want a meal.

I know it tastes good.

- Man, I swear I be falling for that girl.

- Me, too.

Sucks we gotta break up with her.

- We?

This must be one of your new pronouns,

'cause I ain't breaking up with her.

- Excuse me?

- Look, you said it yourself that she's amazing.

- She is, but--

- So if you're giving her up, then she is mine.

- Uh-uh, hold up. That ain't fair.

- Come on, Ashley, you just said that you were gonna end it.

- Well, maybe I changed my mind.

- OK, you know what? We'll see about that.

I'm gonna go see RoRo.

- Well, I'm going to see Ramona.

- Fine. May the best sibling win.

- Oh, I will. - Ow.

Why you doing it so hard? Wait, where you going?

- Why you moving fast? - Why you moving fast?

- Why you moving fast? - Why you moving fast?

- Ladies first, Brandon.

- Oh, you're gonna pull the ladies card now?

You the man in the relationship.

[laughter]

- So where's Pat?

- Well, you know, I think she wanted to make an entrance.

- Ah. Oh, girl, you look incredible.

What did you do?

- Calm your ass down.

You act like I look like Shrek.

- [laughs] No, I'm just saying, baby,

you look like you turned back time.

- Well, I had a little confidence problem,

but I'm back on track now.

- Well, I'm glad you got back on track.

You took my breath away walking through that door, girl.

- And I didn't even have to take off my damn bra.

- [laughs]

Oh, here comes my boss, Max.

Now remember, whatever you do, do not talk about his life,

especially his family.

The brother's walking trauma porn.

Once he gets started, the tragedy train

does not stop, hmm?

- OK, well, the man don't look like no tragedy to me.

He cute. - Welcome, Team Terry.

Now, everybody singing tonight, you hear?

So don't waste my money on this karaoke machine.

No one gets out of this room without performing.

And just to let you know,

I'm doing all Bobby Brown songs

'cause that's my prerogative.

- Oh, my God, I love Bobby.

- Oh, hold up now, pretty little girl.

I'm gonna have to ask you to cool it now.

- Oh, well, shit, don't be cruel.

You know I'm just trying to rock with you.

- Finally, a woman who speaks Bobby as fluently as I do.

- [laughs] Hey, as long as y'all don't start

"humping around," am I right?

- Uh, no.

And how about you, Mrs. Carson?

- Mm, mm-- - Now, I know

how hilarious you are.

Are you gonna step up on that stage

and grace us with a performance?

- Denise.

- Oh, my God, Pat, you don't look so good.

Let's go to the bathroom and put some cold water on it.

- If that shit don't work, I'm gonna whup Elizabeth ass.

- I didn't offend her, did I?

- No, no, you ain't offend her, brother.

But listen, I heard about this supervisor position--

- OK, well, that was weird.

DJ, put on "Every Little Step"

in the key of C.

That's right, and make it funky.

Let's get this party started.

Oh, here we go. Here we go. Ho! Ho!

Let's go.

- I can't move anything-- my eyes, my lips.

Shit, I can barely blink.

I think my face done stopped working.

- Girl, you must have had an allergic reaction

to the ToxFill.

- The fuck? - What?

- You look like a mean old lion.

- Aw.

Oh, put 'em up. Put 'em up.

[notification chimes]

- Holy shit, this is Terry texting me.

His boss is asking what's up with us.

- Well, what's up with us is we came in here

looking like some bad bitches, and now,

we just look bad, bitch.

- Tonight is a big night for Terry.

He really want to get that promotion from his boss, Max.

- What are we gonna do?

- I guess we're gonna have to face the music.

- With that face.

- Fuck you looking at, bitch?

- ♪ Be together ♪

- ♪ Every little step I take, you will be there ♪

♪ Every little step I make will be together ♪

♪ Every little step I take, you will be there ♪

♪ Every little step I make ♪ Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

- Come on, Pat.

The least you could do is have a little fun.

- I can't even move my face,

so you know I'm not about to move my ass.

- Girl, that's why you need to move your ass--

to distract from your face.

- And you need to stay away from Terry's boss.

- [laughs] Please, I don't work here.

I will ride his ass like Six Flags.

- There you are, girl.

Hey, is everything all right, huh?

Oh, my good God.

Baby, what the hell happened to you?

You fall into a beehive or something?

- No, I got fillers today.

And I had an allergic reaction.

- Fillers?

Why on Earth--

Denise, why did my wife get--

[stammering]

- Why you got to put the blame on me?

- Well, everybody put your hands together

for our next singers, Terry and Pat.

[applause]

- What? What make you think I want to sing?

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, Max, man, look, we good.

Why don't you go on and pick somebody else?

- No, no, no, no, don't be like that.

Now, nobody leaves this room without singing a song.

Now, Terry, you a team player, aren't you?

Well, because I do make all of my personnel decisions

based on how well you do at karaoke.

Nah, I'm just playing. I'm just playing.

I'm just playing-- or am I?

- Come on, Terry, be a team player.

- Look, baby, one song,

and then I can go talk to this man about the promotion, huh?

- One song.

This promotion better be worth it.

- All right, come on, come on, come on--

- My arm is getting heavy. It's getting very heavy--

- [chuckles]

- ♪ You're the first, the last ♪

♪ My everything ♪

♪ And the answer to all of my dreams ♪

♪ You're my sun ♪

♪ My moon ♪

♪ My guiding star ♪

Hey! ♪ My kind of wonderful ♪

♪ That's what you are ♪

♪ I know ♪

- I know. - ♪ There's only one like you ♪

- ♪ One like you ♪

- ♪ There's no way ♪

♪ They could only make two ♪

- ♪ Make two, make two, make two ♪

- ♪ You're all I'm living for ♪

♪ Your love, I'll keep forevermore ♪

♪ You're the first, my last, my everything ♪

[sparking] Oh!

- What the fuck?

What happened?

- The--the machine went out.

- Well, no damn duh, Sherlock.

Oh, I wanted tonight to be perfect.

Now what are we gonna do?

You know papa gets cranky when he can't sing his Bobby.

- Great. Now, he's pissed,

right when I was getting ready to talk to him

about that damn promotion.

Damn!

- Uh, excuse me,

where do you think you're going looking like that?

- I think you missed the part where you mind your business,

rewind, and pause.

- OK, but why are you looking like that, though?

- Like what?

- Like a nasty.

- Good, 'cause when Ramona sees me in this dress,

she won't even think about Brandon.

- You and Brandon are chasing the same girl?

[scoffs] I don't know whether to laugh in your face

or puke in it.

- She didn't know we were related.

So now, I'm giving her a choice--him or me.

- Wow. Uh... [chuckles]

I thought you were better than that.

- Than what?

- Than this.

- [sighs] Oh, my God.

This isn't me.

What am I doing? This is dumb.

I have a degree in psychology,

and I'm competing with the dude who gets confused

when we play Uno with more than one card.

[sighs]

- You know, maybe you're still hurting

from what Tanika did to you.

- Maybe you're right.

When did you start being right about things?

I think getting cheated on

really did a number on my self-esteem.

- Yeah, I get it, but

I mean, you shouldn't be competing for anyone.

You're a catch, sis.

I don't think this is about that girl or, God help us,

Brandon.

This is about you learning to like yourself again.

- It absolutely is.

Wow, Bug, you sure you don't want

to go into psychology too?

- Aw, hey, you can learn a lot of stuff on TikTok.

It's not all just girls in sports bras

pointing at words.

- [laughs]

- I just got off the phone with RoRo.

Gonna head over.

I'm surprised you're not there now.

- Nah, good luck to you.

I am bowing out of this competition.

- So you're just giving up without a fight?

- No, she just realized that anybody that would like you

is probably trash.

- Hmm, so victory is mine.

I get RoRo.

- I give you RoRo. Don't rub it in.

- OK, look, that's cool.

I'm just happy.

Because she's already hooking up another threesome.

And I know for a fact this person don't share my DNA.

[laughs]

I'mma tap it for you.

both: Trash.

- Denise, get over here.

Look, could you go over there and flirt with him

or some shit, and make the nigga happy?

- OK, well, Papa is cute, and he got money.

So I'll do more than lift his spirits.

I got you, Terr Bear.

Hey--hey there, Papa.

Just 'cause the music stop don't mean that we have to.

- Oh, is that right? - Mm.

- Well, I would love to get to know you better

and beat up the man who's been hitting on you.

- Oh, no,

you're the only man I let hit on me.

- Oh-- - And not in that way,

'cause I will beat the fuck out of you.

[laughs] But enough about me.

I mean, where are you from?

Tell me about your family.

[people groaning]

- My mom got the dementia.

She don't even know who I am anymore.

I had to put her in a home.

And I thought she'd hate me for it,

but like I said, she don't even know who I am anymore,

so she really don't give a damn.

- Thanks again, Denise.

- I said I'm sorry.

- When my mama got her second stroke,

well, that's about the same time that my wife left me.

She took the cats with her, took all four of 'em.

And then that's when my old homegirl,

tequila, entered the chat.

- Is this man still going?

Hell, I'm gonna need a tequila, too.

And I don't even drink.

Fuck this.

Denise, help me out.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, excuse me, what are you doing?

- Driving the boat.

She can't drink because of the fillers.

- Oh, my God, I was wondering what the hell

was going on with your faces.

Can I ask? You are so beautiful.

Why would you need fillers?

- Because somebody was saying mean stuff about me

on the internet.

- Why do we do this to ourselves?

I had my armpit hairs removed because my boyfriend

was freaking out about it.

And I didn't say anything about his inverted areolas.

- Right, I mean,

women gotta go through all this

when we gotta accept men for who they are,

even when they show up looking like bloated bags of shit.

- And you know what? They get all that work done,

and they still don't look good.

They look like fucking frozen ThunderCats.

- Now that's the comedian I know, right there.

Come on, Pat, get up onstage.

- I ain't doing that shit.

- Oh, come on, Pat.

Come on, please, for me.

Well, if not for me, then,

for my mama.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, go for it, baby. Come on.

- I don't know his fucking mama.

- Come on.

- My sister and me got fillers today, y'all.

That's why we look like we've been sucking on lemons.

Anyone else ever had some shit done before?

Tell the truth. I see you in here.

I already knew that about you.

We should own our flaws, y'all, just like these men.

Look at John old ass over there.

White man so wrinkled, look like a wet set of nuts.

He got so many wrinkles in his face, if he started crying,

the shit wouldn't hit his chin for two weeks.

And Craig, with your potbelly ass.

Look at him.

Well, he don't even know he's a boy.

Somebody need to unzip his pants and show him his dick.

If we keep changing our face, when Jesus comes back,

he ain't even gonna recognize none of us.

And you might look like a nigga who stabbed a baby.

And now, that baby stabber is gonna get your angel wings.

That's my time. I'm Ms. Pat.

[applause]

- [laughs] Ah, muah.

- Too bad I can't feel that.

- Aw, I love you, baby, just as you are.

I don't give a damn what no random people on the internet

think, and you shouldn't either, hmm?

You are beautiful, baby.

Receive that.

- OK, I receive it.

- All right, all right.

By the way, I think Max loved you tonight.

- Yeah, what about that promotion

he gonna give you? - I know.

Believe me, I'm working on it, OK?

- Ooh, Ms. Pat, you saved the night.

I'm happy that damn karaoke machine went out.

- Me, too, and what about that damn promotion

you're supposed to give my damn husband?

- Hey, hey, Pat, Pat, what you doing, baby?

Wait, hold on--

- I'm trying to get us more money.

- Yeah-- - This motherfucker in

this "Billie Jean" jacket.

He got all the money. - Whoa, OK, OK.

She doesn't mean--

- You know what?

She might look like the Klan tried to lynch her,

but she got a point.

Terry, you and me,

we talk in the morning.

[knocking on door]

[smooth R&B music]

- Ooh, I'm glad you came to your senses.

- I'm finna come to your senses next.

It made sense in my head.

- Are you ready to meet our third?

- Oh, hell yeah, baby.

Who else you invite to the party?

- Let's get it popping, Brandon!

No eye contact, don't sweat on me, and watch your aim.

Come here, girl.

Hey, hey, hey, you ready?

You ready? You ready?

- Hey, look, I--

I think I'm gonna go home and fuck a pot.

- What? - I'm leaving.

- How I'm supposed to run the train

without the caboose, man?

[funky music]

- ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And she don't take no stuff ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman, and you can't get enough ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman with family and kids ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And it's "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪