Original subtitles

- "The Ms. Pat Show" is filmed

in front of a live studio audience.

- The hardest thing about being a comedian is

when your whole family want to be in your act.

And then when you actually put them in your act,

oh, child, you go from being a funny motherfucker

to a motherfucker who thinks she's funny.

Sometimes the truth is what make you laugh,

even though the truth might not be funny.

When you remove the power from pain,

it's like a motherfucker robbing you

with a gun with no bullets--

weak and about to get whipped.

Why do people come to the graveyard

fucking with dead people?

The reason why they're here is they wanted to be alone.

That's why they died.

- I know.

That's why I wish I had brought some plastic flowers

so we wouldn't have to come back ever again.

- Wait. - What's wrong?

- Look at this grave.

Is that Mr.-- Mr. John?

- Oh, my God.

What the hell is he doing here in the cemetery?

- He dead, Denise.

What I want to know is why the hell

he buried his self next to our mama.

- You bet not say a God damn thing.

- [screams]

This motherfucker's gonna take me to hell.

[screaming]

[screams]

[chuckles]

Whoo.

Another one. [chuckles]

- ♪ Come on, it's time to go. It's "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪

- Shit.

Y'all ain't got no more milk.

- Why are you shopping

out of our refrigerator?

- Stay out of grown folks' business.

- I'm grown.

Why are you shopping out of our refrigerator?

- Because I gotta make dinner at Lee's tonight.

- Mm-hmm.

- Well, I'ma need to swipe Lee's credit card

before you leave out this kitchen, yeah?

- Well, how about I just wash your dishes?

- And my car.

Can you please pass the syrup?

- Oh, fuck yeah, nigga,

I'll pass this shit right the fuck over, bitch.

- What, did you catch cussing Tourette's overnight?

- No, I gotta meet Lee's parents tonight,

Mr. Clean and Mrs. Cleaner,

so I'm just trying to get all my cussing out now.

You know, fuck, shit, piss, ass, and so on.

- Well, thank you for doing that in front of my children.

- Have you met their mama?

- Lazarus, come forth!

- Don't talk to me like that, Mighty Long.

- Boy, why are you sleeping at the breakfast table?

- Got a new job

and I'm working the night shift.

But I don't want to bore y'all with the details.

- We never asked for them.

- Yeah, you plenty boring already without having to go

through all that trouble. - Mm-hmm.

- Big news, y'all, I had a dream.

- Nobody cares unless you're

a juicy-lipped preacher named Martin.

- You know, I never remember my dreams.

- I bet your crusty-ass sheets remember.

- You know what? I am done eating.

- So in my dream, we went to Mama's grave

and Mr. John was buried next to her.

- Mama's boyfriend, Mr. John?

- Yeah. And he bust his fist right out of the dirt.

You know, like in one of those horror movies

where they throw the tampons at the ginger bitch?

- I don't want to hear the rest of it, Pat.

- Fine. But listen, it made me think of a joke

about when he used to abuse us.

- A joke. - Yeah, you want to hear it?

So... [blender whirring]

- Enough of this. [laughs]

- Jesus, Mom.

- I wasn't looking for Jesus.

I was looking for laughter.

Why y'all ain't laughing?

- Uh--[chuckles weakly] That wasn't funny.

- Not at all. That's some, um,

pretty heavy material for 8:00 a.m.

- Well, I mean, did you not understand it?

Let me start over. - No, I understood it.

That's the problem.

You don't need to be bringing all that up.

- It was just a joke, Denise.

- Well, not everything's meant to be a joke, Pat.

- Ain't this some bullshit? I'm hilarious.

And I'm cursed with an unfunny-ass family.

You know what? I see why Michael left.

Y'all a bunch of hatin'-ass Jermaines.

- Well, can we just agree to make breakfast

a sexual-assault-free zone?

- Really, Terry?

You sitting there assaulting that pig right now.

You really didn't think my joke was funny?

- No.

And I don't want you telling it ever again.

- But it's gonna kill.

- It's gonna kill my God damn soul, Pat.

- Well, then don't come to the club, Denise.

- There are more important things

than getting laughs.

- Not to a comedian.

Laughter is how I deal with this shit.

- You and me haven't even had a conversation about Mr. John

and what he did to us.

And now a bunch of strangers gonna be laughing about it?

- When do I need to have a conversation with you

about the jokes that I do on stage?

- When the jokes have things that happened to me.

- Don't you mean us? 'Cause I was there, too.

- Exactly.

Which is why I don't want you talking about it.

- Fine.

You right.

I'll leave your half out.

- Piss, shit, dick, ass.

- Can you please keep your nasty,

City Girl underpants out of my laundry?

- With all those OnlyFans subscriptions

you should know it's called a thong.

And that's not mine.

- Ugh. They're Mama's?

- [chuckles]

Mama can barely keep her bra on.

You think she gonna be wearing something that's digging

in her cheeks all day?

- Well, then who's the freak?

- Where'd you find it?

- It was in with my clean clothes.

- Wasn't Daddy doing laundry? Maybe it's his.

- Now, you know, not one part of Dad fits in here.

But, you know, he has been getting home late

a lot recently.

- Yeah, but he's been working overtime.

- Maybe.

Or maybe he's cheating on Mom with a hooker.

- [scoffs] The term "hooker" is offensive, Junebug.

They like to be called "sex workers."

How is "sex worker" better than "hooker"?

You might as well call them a coochie congress

or super-spreaders.

- Okay. Stop, please.

And, look, Daddy would never cheat on Mom.

She'd kill him.

And then she'll kill us for being half of him.

- You ain't lying.

- But that thong belongs to somebody.

- [gasps] Thong?

Janelle, that is so offensive.

The term is "anal floss."

- [squeals]

Boy... [squeals]

- Thank you for letting me swing by Pat's.

I forgot my bag of groceries. [chuckles]

And thank you for coming to church with me.

I didn't know you were saved. - Oh, I am.

All my life, actually.

That aside, I was just about to ask you

if you wanted to go to that new strip club

with me tonight?

- Girl. - What?

- Didn't you just leave the church house?

- Um, as a good Christian, I feel like it's our duty

to support those boys through college.

Okay, fine. But I'm not going without you,

so I'll just wait.

Denise?

I hate to pry, you just seem a little troubled.

You know, you can talk to me about anything.

You know that, right?

- Yeah, I'm--I'm fine.

It's just something from my past

keeps coming back to haunt me,

and every time it does it makes me do things

I don't really want to do.

- Oof, well, I can relate to that.

- You can? - Ooh, yeah.

I have a whole dark chapter in my life

that I've never quite reckoned with.

- Well, don't be tease, bitch, spit that shit out.

- [sighs]

I had a car accident.

And I ran over--

ran over a puppy in the street.

And it still haunts me, you know?

I can't even babysit my nephews

because they like to watch "Paw Patrol."

It--it's hard.

- Wow, no "Paw Patrol." Tragic.

Yeah, no, my shit's

a little bit darker than that. [chuckles weakly]

- Oh, well, do you want to talk about it?

- Well, I've gotta warn you it's pretty rough.

- I'm sure I can take it.

- When me and my sister were kids,

our mom had this boyfriend, Mr. John.

And he would always take us on long drives to a cemetery.

And then he would park and he'd put on this song,

"If Loving You is Wrong."

And every time that song came on,

he would just start touching us.

- Oh, shit!

Ooh! No.

Sorry.

Yeah, I can't really relate to that.

But the puppy did touch all four of my wheels.

- It's okay, I get it.

Guess I'll just have to stay messed up.

- No, no.

Do not think of it like that.

[phone ringing] - One sec.

Hey, Lee.

Oh, shoot, babe. I forgot.

I totally lost track of time.

I'm--I'm on my way now. Okay.

Bye.

- Well, it sounds like you have to go,

but just--just try to remember

that sometimes things happen for a reason.

- Well, what's the reason?

- To make us stronger.

- You can't even watch "Blue's Clues" without crying.

- Okay, but I can do "Clifford" because he's not a puppy.

- Clifford is a puppy. He's just really big.

- What?

Wait, what?

[weeping] Oh, my God, are you kidding me?

- Hey, so since you was offended this morning,

I think I made the joke better for weak-asses like you.

- I already heard it, Ma. - No, I punched it up.

It's much better. Listen.

So, Mr. John...

- ♪ I want to l-l-lick you ♪

♪ From your head to your toes ♪

♪ And I want to move ♪

- Brandon, turn that God damn music off.

- Sorry, Ma!

- What did you think?

- I think you made it worse.

It's offensive.

- I'm the one who got molested. Laugh at it.

- I don't want to laugh at it.

- I swear your generation hate comedy.

- No, we just think comedy

should be about punching up.

- Just because something happened to somebody

don't mean they can't laugh at it.

- Hey, Ma, uh, have you seen Dad?

Shouldn't he be home by now? - He working late.

- I love you, Ma. It's gonna be all right.

- What the fuck is wrong with your weird ass?

- Dad, you're here. - Yeah, baby.

- Why is your shirt untucked?

- Boy, my shirt always untucked.

Who are you, the damn shirt-tucking police?

Now, look, you and Janelle go on upstairs

so I can speak with your mother.

Wait--ah--

- Just FYI, I love this family.

Our family.

- That boy gets weirder by the day.

- Um, listen, Denise wanted me to talk to you

about that joke you told this morning.

- Yeah, I want to tell you about it.

I fixed it. So, look... - Uh-huh.

- When Mr. John would pick us up...

- ♪ I want to l-l-lick you ♪

♪ From your head to your toes ♪

- Brandon, turn that God damn music off

before I flood that basement like Katrina.

- Yay! FEMA check.

- So what do you think?

- Baby, I didn't want to hear it again.

I just wanted to tell you not to do it anymore.

- [scoffs]

Do Denise and the Comedy Killers

done got to you too.

- Oh, hey, Pat, wait-- look, now.

Don't you understand that something like this

might bother your sister?

- I don't tell cat jokes, Terry.

I tell pussy jokes.

And y'all know my humor is as dark as you.

- All right, okay.

Remember how my nappy hair joke triggered you?

- First of all, fuck you for saying that.

- Wow.

- And second of all,

you're not a professional comedian.

And third of all, the shit ain't funny.

- What, because it was about you, right?

- This is about me too, Terry.

I'm in control of my Gospel stage play childhood.

- Pat-- - Why can't I deal with shit

my own way? I didn't say nothing

when she was out there smoking crack.

- Actually--

- Facts don't matter. I'm talking about feelings.

- Oh, so it's feelings that matters now.

- It's my life,

so if I want to laugh about it, let me laugh about it.

- Pat, Pat, Pat. - Ha-ha!

- Pat, wait a minute, now. You can't--

You ain't got to act like that, now, Pat.

- A-ha-ha-ha.

- Hey, look here, Pat. Now, you--

- I will laugh the black off your ass.

- Denise said she's running late

because she had to stop by the church.

You're gonna love her. She's so pious.

- Do I have time to wash my ass

before Jim and Tammy Faye get here?

Hi.

- Jim.

- Guess that makes me Tammy Faye.

- [clears throat] Nice to meet you.

I'm sorry about that.

I was rushing in from church.

You know how sometimes your ass just be sticky.

- [chuckles] Denise, please. Stop.

It's--it's okay. - Is it, though?

- Hey, why don't we play a little game

while we wait for dinner. - Peter.

- Oh, we could always use a little fun.

How about charades?

- That is not a bad idea.

- Is it, though?

- As the kids say, let's clown it up.

- You must speak with some old-ass kids.

- Okay, fine.

But I should warn you,

we are charades pros.

- You know, sometimes I forget you White,

but it's this kind of shit that reminds me.

- "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants"!

- You got it! - Whoo-hoo-hoo!

- What pants? What hood?

- It's a movie, dear.

- Oh, okay.

'Cause unless Idris was in it, I'm out.

- Who's Idris?

- He's who I pretend you are on Friday nights.

- Okay, I'll go next.

Okay. Okay.

- Luther Ingram.

El Camino.

Cemetery.

- Um-- - Pied piper.

- [hisses] - Buck-tooth pedophile.

Clifford!

Molestation. - Okay, that's our time.

- Already? I thought that--

I thought I was getting really close.

- Denise, honey, is everything okay?

- Yeah, Lee, why?

- Maybe you could use some of this.

- No, thank you, I can't.

- Of course you can. - I said no!

- Oh! Oh, no.

- I'm sorry.

I just don't drink no more.

But--but--but don't worry

because I've got my Denise Grease.

You know, it's not just a miracle hair product.

It's also a really great industrial cleaner.

- Denise, honey, it's okay. You don't have to.

- Yes, I do. I gotta get the stain out.

- Okay, Denise, we need to talk.

- Not until the mess is clean, Lee.

- Oh, yeah, I'm eating right.

You ain't gotta worry about that.

[chuckles]

Girl, you so crazy.

I can't wait to see your ass again.

[laughs]

- Hang up that phone. - What?

- What in the world is going on in here?

- Yeah, we heard the entire thing.

And we know you're having an affair.

- Mm-hmm.

- Um, let me call you back.

- Not on my watch!

- An affair? Boy, boy, boy--

That was my sister on the phone, boy.

- You're having sex with your sister?

- Junebug.

- Okay, okay.

But w--w--what is this, huh?

I suppose these are our side mama's

booty-hole bonnets?

- Why are my children throwing stripper diapers at me?

- Well, we found the thong in the laundry.

It's not mine. It's definitely not Mama's.

And there's no other women here.

- You actually think I'm gonna cheat on your mama?

How dare y'all? She will kill me

then kill you for being half of me.

Excuse me!

- Told you.

- [scoffs]

- You're not acting like yourself.

Can you please tell me what's wrong?

- Nothing's wrong.

I am so blessed, Lee.

You know, God has got my shit on lock.

- Okay, 'cause some of your answers in charades

seem pretty extreme,

like maybe they were about something else.

- Well, I thought you were miming molesting.

You're the one I'm concerned about.

- You know you can talk to me about anything, right?

- This ain't gonna work.

- What?

- I didn't come from a family

that plays charades before dinner.

We played "Are We Gonna Eat Today?"

- What does that have to do with anything?

Why are you taking it there?

- We're too different.

And maybe we should just stop wasting each other's time.

- Okay, look, I'm sorry my mom offered you wine.

Okay? She didn't know.

- Okay, so your mother didn't know

that I'm a recovering addict?

- That's not really something you lead with

when you're introducing someone.

- So you're ashamed of me? I fucking knew it.

- No, no. That's not it at all.

What is all this? Where is this coming from?

- Where is this coming from?

Let me put it in language

you might be able to understand.

- Okay.

Two words.

First word.

Snapping. Uh, breaking.

Second word.

Oh, my God, you're breaking up with me?

- Yay! We got one.

- Denise!

- And I'll be damned if you think

I'ma let you keep my box of the Denise Grease.

- "Walk to Remember." - "Fast and Furious."

- "Gone Girl."

- So, guys, I don't think

my relationship is gonna work out,

which is a bummer because my boyfriend and I have

so much in common.

You know, like, my love language is

affection and touching.

And his love language is affection and touching, too.

Except he's touching other women.

- Y'all might as well go home,

'cause you ain't gonna be able to follow my new closer.

- Let me guess,

you got some more titillating nipple material.

- No. It's molestation material.

- Sounds hilarious.

- And that is my time, y'all.

But your next comic up is hilarious.

She's also the sexiest woman in here tonight

according to my boyfriend.

So, uh, why don't you join me in welcoming Ms. Pat.

[applause]

[Luther Ingram's "If Loving You is Wrong" playing]

- ♪ If loving you is wrong ♪

- ♪ I don't want to be right ♪

♪ If being right means being without you ♪

♪ I'd rather live a wrong-doing life ♪

- DJ, cut the fucking music off.

I, um--

I can't do this.

- Uh, Pat, you're being unprofessional.

I need you to get back on that stage.

- That song fucked me up. - Really, Pat?

The DJ just played my entrance song.

Go on back out there and he'll play your Cardi B.

- I need to go find my damn sister.

- Damn. Now I gotta change my song

to "I Be Strokin'."

[cheering]

- ♪ She working that back ♪

♪ I don't know how to act ♪

♪ Slow motion for me, slow motion for me ♪

♪ Slow motion for me, move in slow motion for me ♪

- What'll you have?

- Uh, let me get a water.

- All right. Just a water?

- Yeah.

Well, wait. Whiskey sour.

Okay, no, wait.

What am I doing?

Hold the sour.

- ♪ If you're loving my bark ♪

♪ Let me bury my bone ♪

♪ I got four or five bad married at home ♪

♪ One of my fell in love ♪

♪ With that outside ♪

♪ That outside keep them sick ♪

♪ Like, ugh, I like... ♪

- I'm so sorry, Lee.

But I promise you there are other fish in the sea.

- I don't want other fish.

I caught Denise.

And I enjoy having her in my bowl.

- I'm--I'm gonna drop the fish metaphor.

- Okay.

She did seem very, um, special.

- That's one way to put it.

- She's not normally like this.

- You sure about that? - Yes!

She is an extremely devout

church-going member of this community

and so is her family. - Is that so?

- Oh, yeah.

Like, her sister Pat?

She's extremely devout.

- Where my God damn sister at, White nigga?

- Um, these are my parents.

- All right, sexy people.

Please welcome our next dancer to the stage, Project Boy!

[cheering]

- Oh, yeah!

- ♪ Give it to me, give it to me ♪

♪ Give it to me ♪

- Hey! Show me that ass, Project Boy.

Whoo! Yeah, yeah. Ah, Project Boy!

Come here.

- Stop, Auntie, it's me.

- Ooh, I like when they call me Auntie.

Say that shit again. - Denise.

- How the fuck you know my name?

Oh, Brandon.

Lord Jesus, just kill me.

Take my eyes.

Nigga, what you doing up there stripping for?

And you stuffing.

You know your dick ain't that big.

- Shut up, Aunt Denise.

How many drinks have you had?

- As many dollars as in your G-string.

- Coming up next to the stage we have

Muhammad All Meat.

[cheering]

- Whoo! Yeah.

- Auntie, you know you're not supposed to be drinking.

- And you not supposed to be stripping.

- I'm only doing this 'cause I need extra cash

because my stuff got stolen.

- ♪ Oh, he works hard for the money ♪

- Stop. Stop. Stop. - [vocalizes]

- Aunt Denise, stop.

Come on. What's going on?

Why are you doing this to yourself?

- Okay, you're supposed to be Project Boy.

You sound a lot like Pat.

- Okay, come one.

Let me just get you back to Lee's house.

- I can't go to Lee's house, nephew.

- Why? - 'Cause his parents is there

and they hate me already.

- Okay, well, I'll just take you home, then.

- I can't go home with you. [whimpers]

Pat can't see me like this

or she'll have me hanging like one of them dicks up there

choking on rubber bands. - Okay, okay.

Auntie, focus. All right? Focus.

- Stop, you're making me dizzy.

Listen, I'm going to sneak you in, okay?

But you have to play this cool.

- You see this wig?

Okay, your auntie is the blueprint for cool.

- Say, bro, I know you're new here,

but I call all the super-lit bitches.

- Wh--what? - They pay more.

Newbies get the tipsy to the medium-lit bitches.

- Oh, okay. Well, take me, Daddy.

[giggles] - Hey, you can call me

Mighty Long. - No, no, no, no.

Don't call him nothing, Aunt Denise, all right?

That's my auntie, man.

- Might Long don't give a damn.

And there ain't no family discounts neither.

Come on, baby. Hey!

Yabba-dabba-doo. [laughs]

- Man, why don't you just back the fuck off?

- I know you ain't talking to Mighty Long.

- [scoffs] I am.

- Mighty Long got the biggest dick in the room.

Mighty Long make the rules. - Oh, is that right?

Well, you know what you need to do?

You need to give your little sister her legs back.

Who you talking to? - What the--hey, come on, now.

- [vomits] - Oh! [screams]

I just bought this skirt.

- It's gonna be a mighty long cleanup.

All right, come on, Auntie. Let me get you home.

I'ma give you your lap dance when I get back.

- This ain't the first time

that a stripper brought me home.

- Shh! You're gonna get us caught.

- Then you not very good, Project Boy,

'cause the key to sneaking in houses is

you gotta be very quiet.

- Where the hell y'all been?

- Oh, bitch, are you making breakfast?

'Cause I want two eggs, some bacon...

- What the hell, Denise? I been looking for you.

- Oh, well, she just came by to borrow a--

- Spatula. Boop. Boop.

Boop. Boop.

- She drunk. - I am not drunk.

I'm lit-bricated. That's--

That's "lit" and "lubricated."

- Put her drunk ass on the couch.

- Um, I--I got a new job. And it's a--

- I don't even give a fuck,

just as long as you have my rent money.

Put that nasty shit in the washing machine.

- You want me to launder money?

- I don't want no money

with no ding-a-ling hair on it.

Damn, Denise, when you fall off the wagon,

you really fall off the wagon.

I didn't fall off. Your joke pushed me off.

- Look, you can't blame me and everybody else

for the choices that you make.

- Right. 'Cause it's my fault, right?

It's my fault I was a crackhead.

It's my fault I'm an alcoholic.

It's all my fault. Where you going?

That's right, bitch. Y'all say--

You know what? Tell all your fans

that I'm the fucked up sister who ain't got shit.

Tell all the motherfuckers.

I'm sorry, Pat.

- I've been looking for you all night.

- Let me guess, you made the joke even more fucked up?

- No, I went on stage to do it

and the damn DJ played the wrong intro song--

"If Loving You is Wrong."

- Oh, shit.

- And it triggered me.

Now I know how my joke triggered you.

And that's hard to say.

- I know it's hard for you to apologize, Pat Pat.

- No, it's hard for me to say "trigger."

Too many consonants.

- Well, you say "nigga" just fine.

- But that's still no reason for you to be drinking.

- Be glad it ain't what it could have been.

- So every time you have a problem in your life

this is what you're gonna do?

- No, I went to church first.

- Church is not a destination, Denise.

It's a street to where you need to get to.

When are you gonna start taking responsibility for yourself?

- Well, look, I just haven't come to terms

with what happened to us, Pat.

And I don't have a way to cope with it.

I mean, you got your jokes and shit

to work through it your way, and what do I got?

- You got Denise Grease.

It work for you but it don't work

for nobody else.

- Fuck you, Pat.

But you right. It works for me.

I wonder why Mama and Mr. John came to you in your dream.

That's weird, right?

I think it was his way of saying that he won,

'cause Mama died not knowing.

But I don't think she wanted me to die without speaking.

- Not with your loud-ass mouth.

- [chuckles]

Kind of fucked up we got our own theme song

to get molested, ain't it?

- Really, Pat?

After all of this, you still gonna go there?

- I mean, we can always take it back.

- What you mean?

- You shouldn't be hurt by a joke.

And I shouldn't be hurt by a song.

That's still giving that bastard strength

even though he's in the grave.

- Yeah, but how we supposed to fix that?

- ♪ If loving you is wrong ♪

♪ I don't want to be right ♪

♪ If loving you is wrong ♪

♪ I don't want to be right ♪

♪ If being right means being without you ♪

♪ I'd rather be lonely in life ♪

- ♪ Your mama and daddy say ♪ - ♪ It's a shame ♪

[together] ♪ It's a downright disgrace ♪

♪ Long as I got you by my side ♪

♪ I don't care what the people think ♪

♪ My friends tell me it's no future ♪

♪ In loving a married man ♪

- ♪ If I can't see you when I want ♪

[together] ♪ I see you when I can ♪

- ♪ If loving you is wrong ♪

- I love you. - I love you, too.

♪ If loving you is wrong ♪ - Shut the fuck up.

- Mmm. I'm never drinking again.

I feel like I've been beat up

by a bunch of Floyd Mayweathers.

[phone buzzing]

- Lee calling. You gonna get that?

- No.

I don't need that right now, and he don't need this.

- Well, therapy's still on the table

if you want to go. - Man, do y'all niggas get

coupons for taking people to therapy?

Y'all always trying to heal.

- Glad you guys are here.

Look, um--

I just want to make sure that my little secret

stays between us.

- What, about you being a chocolate Chippendale?

- Well, if anybody know about doing

weird shit for money, it's definitely me and Denise.

- Ain't that the truth.

- Your secret is safe with us, son.

[Ludacris' "What's Your Fantasy playing]

- ♪ I want to l-l-lick you ♪

♪ From your head to your toes ♪

♪ And I want to move from the bed ♪

♪ Down to the, down to the floor ♪

♪ Then I want to [grunts] ♪

♪ You make it so good I don't want to leave... ♪

- Mom.

- I wasn't gonna keep no secret that juicy.

We ain't had a stripper in our family

since Aunt Myrtle.

- Aunt Myrtle was a stripper?

- Uh-huh. And her stripper name was Atlanta.

- Atlanta?

- Yeah, 'cause she was big and Black as fuck.

[both chuckle] - You see, now that's a joke

you can tell about family.

- Thank you, Aunt Myrtle.

- ♪ I want to l-l-lick you ♪

♪ From your head to your toes ♪

♪ And I want to move from the bed ♪

♪ Down to the, down to the floor ♪

♪ And I want to [grunts] ♪

- What in the hell is going on--

you know what? [chuckles]

I am way to tired

to deal with whatever this is.

Mm-mm!

This family gets weirder by the day.

- Shake that ass, Junebug!

- ♪ See I cast 'em, then I passed 'em ♪

♪ Get a tight grip and I grasp 'em ♪

♪ I flash 'em and outlast 'em ♪

♪ And if it ain't good then I trash 'em ♪

♪ While you stash 'em, I'll let 'em free ♪

♪ And they tell me what they fantasy ♪

[funky music]

- ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And she don't take no stuff ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And you can't get enough ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ With a husband and kids ♪

♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪

♪ And it's the Ms. Pat Show ♪